Misfits Mid-Life Crisis……..

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in London (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 92, Saturday 19^th March until Friday 25^h March 2016.

I am trying to make every day count, I am a creative person who has ideas all the time, my problem is that I either don’t put things in to action, or I start something and just don’t finish them.

 Two of my best friends.

I am at a time in life when I have to make the most of things. I accepted a long time ago I will never be really good at any one thing, but I would like to be reasonably good at a number of simple things.

 I was all set for the day.

My ideal job would be an Astronaut, which of course is never going to happen, but I can dream on. If I were to be asked what would I really like to do it would be to write. When I cleared out my flat a couple of years ago I came across note pad after note pad filled with badly written scribbled stories and ideas, I kept them all even though none of them will ever be used. I have a children’s story I wrote in 2014, I painted the pictures in 2015 and now it’s time to get it published. I want to make my mum proud. When I was in Tofo I was told about a publisher in Brighton looking for children’s stories, I have sent an e-mail off fingers crossed.

 These could have won the Turner prize.

This week I have managed to get a job, from 4^th April I will be working in the office in Croydon I worked in last year. I have to remember the reason why I am subjecting myself to this torture. This is so that I can return to Tofo in a few months. If I have a moment (which I will at some point) I will fondle the necklace made me out of Coconut shell to help me to remember Tofo, the Indian ocean and the amazing people that I know there.

 He’s behind you……

As I said earlier it’s important to make the most of every day, I sadly know two people who never saw tomorrow. We know and expect that the sun will rise tomorrow, but there is no guarantee that we will actually see be there to see it.

 Met up with Jessica for coffee and a chat.

Something I have learned in recent weeks is to tell people how you feel, not to bare grudges and treat people the way you want to be treated.

I have spent a lot of this week helping friends prepare for a funeral next week; it won’t be a sombre affair but a celebration of a wonderful long life. But it has got me thinking that I must not waste any more time.

 Travelled on lots of trains on Good Friday

In other news. Spent time at my sisters and babysat my nephew and niece. Caught up with a friend who sells the Big Issue, chatted about life and her 6 month old baby. Got crapped on by a bird, they say its good luck. MOZ misplaced a set of keys, we looked high and low it became a mystery for a few hours, they were found. Bought Easter eggs for little ones, they got eaten I had to buy more.

 Two heads are better than one.

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have been watching: “Friends”, (Season 1, eps 1 to 8), “Raised by Wolves”, (Season 1, eps 1 to 6) & (Season 2, eps 4), “Antman”, (2015), “Minions Champions”, (2015), “Star Wars: The Force Awakens”, (2015), “Horizon: The Immortalist”, (2015/16, eps 1), “Horizon: Project Greenglow-The Quest for Gravity”, (2015/16, eps 2)  

This week I have mainly been listening to: ”LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”,(18 & 19 & 25/03/2016) “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Mid-Week)”, (23/03/16)”, “LBC Mystery Hour”, 16 & 24/03/2016), “The Queer Life: eps 78”, (18/03/2016), “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO”, (24/03/2016) “Morrissey”, “Oasis”, “The XX”, “Arcade Fire”, “Catfish and the Bottlemen”, “Ash”, “The White Stripes”, “Foo Fighters”, “Arcade Fire”, “The Verve”, “Supergrass”.

Reading: “The Hitchhickers Guide To the Galaxy: Mostly Harmless”, by Douglas Adams, “Knit One, Kill Two”, by Maggie Sefton, “Morrissey List of the Lost”, by Morrissey and “A Game of Thrones, A Song of Ice and Fire” book 2 “ A Clash of Kings” by George R.R. Martin.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in London (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 91, Saturday 12^th March until Friday 18^th March 2016.

Its been a busy week, I travelled many thousands of miles from Inhambane Mozziebeak to Heathrow UK. I was due to stay in Tofo until end of May but due to the passing of a friend I came home to help support her family, my friends who I have known for 26 years.

 Leaving Inhambane.

The journey home was relatively quick and easy I have done the trip a number of times so I know where to go. It was when I arrived in Joberg that i had time to kill, over 27 hours to be exact. I managed to book in to a hotel, after I was picked up at the airport I found that the hotel was only a few minutes from the terminal in fact right under the flight path. A very nice place the only thing missing was a proper fan as it was a little warm for me. On Sunday morning I spent time in reception using the Wi-Fi but by 1pm I had to move so the cab took me to the airport. I settled down for the long wait and watch classic Star Wars films. What better way to waste time in a major international airport, watch classic Star Wars.

  At Joberg airport.

The flight to London was via Cairo was quick; I settled back in my seat and watched lots of films.

 Welcoming party at Heathrow.

I was met at Heathrow by my sister and nephew and niece, there was part of me that couldn’t believe I was back. What brought me back to reality was the temperature, London was chilly less than 10c. The last few weeks in Tofo the temperature has been in the 30c’s up to 42c one day, London is the complete opposite.

 A little wrapped up.

On Tuesday after a good sleep I made my way on to Essex by train, I haven’t been on a train in 6 months. I do love a train I was brought up around them as my father worked on the railways. Yes I’m a train geek. London has a lot of building work going on there are buildings being demolished and new shiny sky scrapers springing up all over the place.

 I’m an addict.

London has between 8 to 10 million people, the tube carries over a million people every day. I much prefer the small friendly population of Tofo. In Tofo everyone says “Hello”, they wave people are friendly. Here no one looks at you in fact everyone ignores each other. If I were to say hello to everyone and wave I would either be stabbed or locked up and considered a looney. Being in London I have to get used to a different style of live.

It was very sad to meet up with my best friend of over 2 decades and her brother. But It was good to see her, but my heart ached for them both. I’m here to help them as much as possible.

 I wanted everything, and had to press every button.

I spent the next few days in Surrey and Essex. Playing with my nephew and niece and spending time helping my friend. I have mixed emotions at this time, one moment I’m running around playing with children the next I’m helping to dust and clean and support my friend.

 Only had the IPad 2 days and got locked out, waited ages in the Apple store.

I miss Tofo lots; I miss my friends, the dogs, the sea. I plan on being back in Africa in August after my sister has got married. Between now and then I need to get a job and work my ass off, I need to save as much as possible so that I can live a relaxed and comfortable life by the sea.

Who knows what the next few months will bring……

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have been watching: “Star Wars: A New Hope”, (1977), “Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back”, (1980), “Star Wars: The Force Awakes”, (2015), “The 33”, (2015), “Tracers”, (2015), “Goosebumps”, (2015), “Raised By Wolves”, (Pilot Eps) & (Season 2, eps 1 to 3) 

This week I have mainly been listening to: ”LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”,(11 & 12/03/2016) “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Mid-Week)”, (16/03/2016)”, “LBC Mystery Hour”, 18/03/2016) “Morrissey”, “Smiths”, “Pulp”, “The Vaccines”, “Divinyls”, “Artic Monkeys”.

Reading: “The Hitchhickers Guide To the Galaxy: Mostly Harmless”, by Douglas Adams, “Knit One, Kill Two”, by Maggie Sefton, “Morrissey List of the Lost”, by Morrissey and “A Game of Thrones, A Song of Ice and Fire” book 2 “ A Clash of Kings” by George R.R. Martin.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in Tofo Mozambique (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 90, Saturday 5^th March until Friday 11^th March 2016.

Portuguese word of the week: “Continua”, means to be continued….

Saturday woke up at 4am by 4.45am I was in a cab that had no lights on driving in the dark. The driver started to call me his friend while rubbing my arm and then my leg. I moved his hand and then pretended to be on my phone for the rest of the trip. As soon as we were at the chappa station I was out of the car before it stopped. The bus filled up and left at 7am. We made a brief stop at 7.20am in which I had a quick wee. It’s a good thing I did as we didn’t make a stop at any of the normal places along route we went straight through. I was in my door at 4pm feeling dirty, hungry and very dehydrated but glad to be home.

 My room in Maputo.

Sunday, the power died at 5am and didn’t return until 6.30pm it was a long powerless day. This was the longest power outage so far experienced here. Due to the pain of yesterday’s trip I stayed home, had an enjoyable siesta in the afternoon. In the garden on top of a tower are a couple of water tanks which are almost at the height of coconuts up a tree. I climbed the tower and enjoyed the view as the day was finally cooling down. Once the power returned I went on-line. I hadn’t used the computer all day as I wanted to save the battery for as long as possible. When I went on-line I had a message to contact my best friend urgently. I had trouble getting through to her in the UK, when I did I learned the sad news about the death of her mother. I feel terrible that I hadn’t gone on line earlier, we skyped for a number of hours just chatting.

 have asked that Frog watch continues while i’m away.

Monday, woke up to a message from MOZ asking if I would come home. I didn’t need to think about my answer for a second. By chance I was about to change my flights from the coming weekend to the end of May early June. I was not now changing anything I am coming home at the end of the week. Satu and Jari and Nadia have been very understanding and realise that I have to return to the UK. I will be coming back to Tofo in August after my sister’s wedding that’s still the plan at the present moment. MOZ and I skyped for over 4 hours in the evening.

 Storm clouds brewing.

Tuesday, a quiet day at the dive shop, a day of doing little jobs housekeeping. Because I will be leaving soon I decided to get a paint brush and touch up signs I painted in oct/nov 2014. Another extremely hot day here, had a number of dips in the pool to cool down.

  Doing a little touch up work around town.

Wednesday, went on my first dive in a month went to “Giants Castle” it was so nice to be back in the water. The main highlight was a couple of very large Groupers who were chilled at depth. I really have missed not being in the water and look forward to more in August when I return. Skyped with MOZ and guess what the credit ran out, I had to go to the market to top up. I was going to walk it but then saw Nadia’s quad bike, I was allowed to use it which meant I was there and back in half the time. In the evening I went to Mozambeats for a drink a burger and movie with friends. I really must do this more often in August.

 Emmm so tasty.

Thursday, I’ve started to pack, I am leaving most of my things and just taking a few things home. I gave a lot of clothes and other things to Raphael who works in the garden he appreciated everything giving to him. Mani at the dive shop has made me a Manta pendant out of coconut shell. This will help make London bearable from next week. I am sad about leaving Tofo, but I have a responsibility to look after my friend who has looked after me so much over the years.

 Final dive with Mike, ace captain Pedro for now.

Friday, went on a dive to “Table Top”, doing the pre dive safety check we had Devil Rays swimming under us. Most people were diving on Nitrox so they can stay down longer, Mike and I were on normal air which meant we were a few meters above everyone to prolong our dive. Loads more Devil Rays spotted, so lovely to see a group of them as normally you only see them in ones and twos. Kalle has done a couple of new Star Wars tattoos on my shoulder, once completed we met everyone else at the hotel for food and drink and live music. Waddled home stopping at a little bar for a few more drinks I made it home and slept up early in the morning to leave Tofo.

  Lovely coconut shell Manta pendant.

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have been watching: “In The Heart Of The Sea”, (2015), “Doctor Who: Celestial Toymaker, episode 1”, (BBC TV 1966, Season 3 story 6). 

This week I have mainly been listening to: ”LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”,(05/03/2016) “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Mid-Week)”, (09/03/2016)”, “LBC Mystery Hour”, (04 & 11 & 18/02/2016) “Morrissey”, “Smiths”, “Pulp”,

Reading: “The Hitchhickers Guide To the Galaxy: So Long And Thanks For All The Fish”, by Douglas Adams, “Knit One, Kill Two”, by Maggie Sefton, “Morrissey List of the Lost”, by Morrissey and “A Game of Thrones, A Song of Ice and Fire” book 2 “ A Clash of Kings” by George R.R. Martin.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in Tofo Mozambique and Nels (SA) (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 89, Saturday 27^thFebruary until Friday 4th  March 2016.

Portuguese word of the week: “Cerveja”, means Beer, emmm taste so good (with lemonade that is). 

 Emmmm Cerveja…

Saturday, the power died about 5am and came back after 11am and struggled for a few hours more. Late morning it was as if there was a tornado was passing by, the wind and rain was very heavy for a short period. A very quiet day, eating soup (do you eat or drink soup), reading and watching the gazillions of frogs running around. I have a horrible feeling that tomorrow there will be so many dead in the pool.

 Saw this in a shop window.

Sunday, by the early afternoon I was resigned to the fact that Frida and I were going to have to take the cattle bus to Maputo. I was walking down the road to buy the tickets when Nadia started shouting at me to come back. What happened is that Nadia had looked on the net and seen that someone was travelling our way tomorrow. I managed to get hold of them by text, Frida and I have a lift to Maputo.

 Frida one last run before she travels to Europe.  The tank we travelled in.

Monday, the drive to Maputo was lovely in an air conned tank the size of a large car. Our driver was an American called Troy who is travelling the world and runs a charity, sounds like a nice life. Dropped Frida off in the city, that’s when Troy and I had adventures to find the chappa station. In the end we haled a cab, Troy explained in Portuguese where I wanted to go. The chappa station it turns out was very near to the original location we thought. After waiting over an hour the chappa was off, I sat in the front and hoped that I got to SA in one piece. It took a while to get to Nels, a lot of stopping for no reason in my opinion on the MZ side. Walked to the B&B after that chappa dropped me off in Nels, I was sitting on my comfy bed at 1am.

 Troy chatting with Maputo police, and explaining to the Taxi I wanted to get a Chappa.

Tuesday, went straight to the embassy with all my papers, handed them over and was told to come back tomorrow. I had to make a payment at a local bank and then bring the receipt back. Walking in the heat was really tiring, a number of people carry umbrellas I think I should buy one as well. Did some shopping then off to the cinema and saw a couple of films. My regular cab driver Sifiso drove me around many times over the next couple of days.

 The chick I found in the kerb, and in the grass where I left it.

Wednesday, walking to the embassy, I found a little chick in the kerb. I couldn’t leave it in the road I had to move it to and carried it on to the grass verge. I really felt bad leaving it, I hope mum found it. Once at the embassy I was told to return tomorrow as the person who signs visas was not. I spent the rest of the day in the cinema; because of the exchange rate I can see films for just under £2, in the UK you’re looking at £10 or more. I mentioned the cutting of credits to a manager as its still happening.

 I have an Emnotweni card after a year, just think of all the points I have missed out on.  The posh but empty Glass Bar.

Thursday, I picked up my visa, it’s a 3 month one not 6 as I had hoped but 3 is better than nothing. I will be going home end of May now, next week I need to make arrangement such as changing flights. Went to Mugg & Bean my normal table was taken I felt a little robbed. Spent the rest of another very hot South African day sitting in an air conditioned cinema watching new films. I complained twice about the credits being cut. The second time it was mentioned that the projectionists have been told, this means that there is an issue with the timing of the equipment. The manager said he will have to contact an office in London (England) I couldn’t believe that when he said that. Let’s see if next month the timing is better.

 I look better like this.  A Pear that looks like a Bottom….

Friday, time to leave SA. But first I went to the cinema as I had the morning to waste. The Greyhound is advertised for 13.35, good thing I got there early as today it departed at 13.00. I travelled business class again and relaxed in my recliner chair. The border was busy it took time to get through the queues; it appears that everyone was trying to get back in to Mozziebeak at the same time as me. Once in Maptuo I walked to Fatima I used my trusty Google ™ map to made my way around the city. Maputo is busy crowed capital; however it’s also very dirty there is a lot of rubbish just thrown everywhere. Once at the backpackers I said hello to Danica who was there, unfortunately her car is full as a result I can’t have a lift tomorrow. I paid a lot of mets for my own room, I hate the dorms. The room had air-con and a loo with shower but I didn’t have a towel. The internet reception in the room was not great, but it meant I spent my evening and night nice and chilled on my own.

 My room at Fatima in Maputo, The Elephant room (are they hinting on something)

See below my Cinema star rating review……

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have been watching: “Grimsby”, (2016) ***** (5 stars), “Gods of Egypt”, (2016) *** (3 stars), “Fifty Shades of Black”, (2016) *** (3 stars), “Ride Along 2”, (2016) * (1 star), “Solace”, (2015) ***** (5 stars), “London Has Fallen”, (2016) **** (4 stars), “Captive”, (2015), “Grease”, (1978), “Green Zone”, (2010), School of Rock”, (2003), Death Race”, (2008), “Kick Ass”, (XXXX), “Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2”, (2015). 

This week I have mainly been listening to: ”LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”,(02/01/2009) & (26 & 27/02/2016) & (04 & 05/03/2016) “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Mid-Week)”, (02/03/2016)”, “LBC Mystery Hour”, (25/02/2016) “Morrissey”, “Smiths”, Two Door Cinema Club”, “Bombay Bicycle Club”, “The XX”, “Moby”, “The Cure”, “Pulp”.

Reading: “The Hitchhickers Guide To the Galaxy: So Long And Thanks For All The Fish”, by Douglas Adams, “Knit One, Kill Two”, by Maggie Sefton, “Morrissey List of the Lost”, by Morrissey and “A Game of Thrones, A Song of Ice and Fire” book 2 “ A Clash of Kings” by George R.R. Martin.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in Tofo Mozambique (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 88, Saturday 20^thFebruary until Friday 26^thFebruary 2016.

Portuguese word of the week: “Enxaqueca”, I hate “Migraines”….. 

 I love HAPPI food.

Saturday: Highlight of the day, I saw a Monkey in fact I saw it twice in the tree behind Liquid There used to be many Monkeys in the area, so I have been told but they were killed or driven out during the civil war. In 2014 Alice Cooper the Cat was seen chasing one down the road, I didn’t see this. This morning Miguel was looking out the back near the pool when he excitedly called me over, there was a Monkey on the wall. Of course by the time I arrived it had disappeared up the tree. I did in the end I did see the monkey twice, grey fur black face and large red balls (what a boy). All day I kept looking at the tree hoping to see that simian face again. Today had the highest temperature that I have seen over here 42c, a very hot humid day.

 Picture of the week, Kalle and Admiro.  One of these people didn’t really want this pic to be taken…..

Sunday, sadly I found a dead Bat while doing my Toad/Frog watch when I opened up the dive centre. As soon as I took the filter cover off I immediately knew it was a Bat, how sad. I love to see a Bat and have fond memories of being buzzed by them in the early evening. The dive shop ran out of electric credit, I tried to buy from the market but the guy was not around. My boss was on a trip and had left his car. I found the keys totally by chance, but then discovered i couldn’t open it. In the end another colleague just turned the key and the door opened, I really felt stupid. In evening Miguel and I went for a few drinks at “Gato Laranja” spending time chatting about films.

 I’m nasty to what used to be “Happy Eggs”.

Monday, a day off, not feeling well. A day of rumbling thunderstorms, rain, Rusty visiting, power cuts and painting. Highlight was sleeping on the porch while it rained.

 Rescuing very small Frogs is also what I do here.

Tuesday, A terrible night, horrible headaches. Had Rusty over, we went in the kitchen I heard a noise like sneezing I was about to say “bless you” to Rusty when I noticed a small white and ginger cat hissing. I of course rushed Rusty straight out, the cat disappeared. I don’t want to overly attract Cats because Rusty now comes in to the garden. Miguel later told me that when he went in first thing there were 3 or 4 small cats on the table.

 Met a guy who was wearing a very old Liquid T-Shirt.

Wednesday: Still suffering from migraines, I popped in to Liquid had the best medicine ever porridge and coffee. Did a little shopping and visited the chemist. Have looked at a house on the Liquid road that has air con, Miguel and I might be moving.

 The big church in Inhambane, and an old one that says a different time on each clock face.

Thursday very early morning (it was still dark) I went in to the kitchen and ate cornflakes. Sitting inside the door was a small tabby cat; we just continued to look at each other. When it was time for me to leave it ran off in to the dark. Defiantly feeling better today the migraine appears to have travelled around to a different side of my head. I will be back at the dive shop tomorrow.

 7am on the BIG bus, look over my left Shoulder, Mike (my Tofo son) is fast asleep.

Friday, I was on the big bus at 7am going to Inhambane. I met a friend who took me to Notariado (Notaries) where I got official papers stamped, this means that next week I can apply for a new visa. Because it was a government office I had to cover-up a little, not a lot of leg on show and shoulders covered. As soon as I could I changed back in to shorts and vest. After work Miguel and I went for a drink and chatted about “Life the Universe and Everything”. While walking home we just had to stop in the dark and look up at the stars. I saw a shooting star….. wow.

  All dressed up to visit Notariado (Notaries).

In other news. I heard a child shouting, as I passed I saw a woman hitting the girl with a stick. I stood there and indicated not to hit the girl. The woman said/shouted something to me in Portuguese, certainly while I was around the girl was not hit again. I didn’t want to stroll in to the garden and actually intervene I didn’t think I could, maybe I should have. I saw a lot of government bureaucracy when I worked in the UK, I have now seen it first-hand here in Mozziebeak its not nice. Have paid someone in to do my washing and clean my hut.

 When I wasn’t feeling well earlier in week, I was 2 fans Lucas.

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have been watching: “Blade Runner” (1982), “Interstellar” (2014), “Stardust”, (2007), “American Pie”, (1999),  

This week I have mainly been listening to: ”LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”,(13/03/2007), (01/01/2009) (20 & 21/02/2016) “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Mid-Week)”, (24/02/2016), ”LBC Podcast: Nick Ferrari (Whole Show), (25/02/2016)” “Morrissey”, “Smiths”, “B52s”, “Echobelly”, “Erasure”, “Harvey Danger”, “Barenaked Ladies”,

Reading: “The Hitchhickers Guide To the Galaxy: The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe”, by Douglas Adams, “The Hitchhickers Guide To the Galaxy: The Life The Universe and Everything”, by Douglas Adams, “Knit One, Kill Two”, by Maggie Sefton, “Morrissey List of the Lost”, by Morrissey and “A Game of Thrones, A Song of Ice and Fire” book 2 “ A Clash of Kings” by George R.R. Martin.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in Tofo Mozambique & Nels (SA), (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 87, Saturday 13^h February until Friday 19^th February 2016.

Portuguese word of the week:  “Temperatura”, meaning Temperature, as in “Its Frakking Hot”.

 Christine and Rickart at Mamma Mia’s, such lovely people.

Tried to renew my visa while in Nels as there is only a couple of weeks left, was told firmly “NO”. So I will be back in a couple of weeks to get a new one. It looks like I’ll only get 3 months making a total of 9 months again for this trip. Which would mean I’d be back in the UK in early May, which is sad but I will return to Tofo in August after my sister’s wedding.

 Thought I was back in the UK for a moment.

Saturday: during the night my bed at Mamma Mia’s B&B was a little wet. I soon found out it wasn’t old age creeping up on me but a leak in the roof. The double bed was made up of 2 singles so I manage to unhook them and move things around and put towels on the floor. In the morning it was all sorted and was moved to another room and got a little more sleep. My ride home had fallen through so I planned to do nothing in fact stay in bed. This changed when I had a message from Jenny, she was passing through and did I want a lift home. Within a couple of hours I was on my way back to Tofo. I took my turn driving; the speedo was difficult to read so I stuck little bits of paper for 60 and 80kph. We did get stopped by the police because I was going faster than I should (I could tell the speed correctly) but he could not resist 4 woman smiling at him. Arrived home around 11pm.

 Stickers on the speedo and the new Chinese road in Maputo that just ends, its not finished.

Sunday, had to make sure that everything was charged up overnight as there is was a planned power cut from 5am to about 5pm. I spent the day at home recovering from yesterday’s road trip. I took Rusty out for a long walk on the beach. Met my new neighbour a new DMT called Miguel.

 Always be prepared for powercuts.

Monday, good to be back at Liquid. Due to the tattoo I still can’t dive which means I’m grounded stuck in the shop. Fanni left us today very sad to see another lovely person leave; there were tears as she left. Got to drive my bosses Quad bike home, going up the sand road I was a little worried id get stuck, I didn’t I powered up the road kicking the sand up behind me pretending I was Jezzer Clarkson.

 Molly and I.

Tuesday; it’s very hot, I have been sitting at the shop fanning myself with a clip board. I am not wearing vest tops at the moment again due to the tattoo healing. As a result I have cut the collar and the sleeves off many of my t-shirts to make them more airy. I went to Chris little beach bar that he co-runs after work. A lovely lady that dived with us last year had returned and was celebrating her b’day she invited me.

 Beer.

Wednesday, I must be one of the few people to be “bluebottled” (it’s like a jellyfish, but it is not) at the dive shop and I didn’t even go on the dive. I was rinsing the gear when I got stung, the little horror had clung on and I brushed against it. It’s a little like a Bee or wasp sting just irritates for a little while.

Damn you Bluebottle.

Thursday. I led an Ocean Safari my first time back on the water in nearly 2 weeks. Mike came with me as I still can’t actually get in the water. We didn’t anything in fact none of the other boat did. All that wonderful marine life was hiding keeping out of the sun I suspect. During the afternoon I heard sirens not something you normally hear in Tofo, I was told it was a cavalcade of cars being escort through the village. After work I went to Chris’s bar again with Anna a Swedish diver who is leaving Tofo in the morning. Standing on the beach was a group of men in smart shirts surrounded by soldiers with large guns. One of the men was a government minister I found out. I imagined a boat arriving or a helicopter landing on the beach. Nothing they stood there looked at the sea for a little had some pictures taken and walked away. I watched them while drinking beer and eat cake.

 Government minister and guns.

Friday a day of very high temperatures and power cuts. A small bird landed quite hard on the concrete floor near me round the back of the dive shop. It didn’t look good I thought it was injured. I approached it which made it take to the air straight in too the shop flapping around stuck behind windows. I managed to catch it and let it fly free. In the evening I skyped with Mum and Helen always nice to catch up with news. I have more new neighbours another Finnish guy has arrived to work at Liquid with his daughter seem like nice people.

 Little bird that crash landed in front of me.

In other news, Some of the useless German I have learned this week includes “Der Hund Ist Wichtig”, “Die Frau Ist Neu“ and “Ich Bin Langsam” none of it really any good. Have Rusty over to visit a couple of times over the course of the week. 

 My mum looking like a pizza on Skype and a small Donut…..

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have been watching: emmmmm, nothing, oops. 

This week I have mainly been listening to: ”LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”,(12 & 13/02/2016) “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Mid-Week)”, (17/02/2016), “Morrissey”, “Smiths”, “Fleetwood Mac”, “Tenacious D”, “Portishead”, “LUSH”

Reading: “The Hitchhickers Guide To the Galaxy: The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe”, by Douglas Adams, “Knit One, Kill Two”, by Maggie Sefton, “Morrissey List of the Lost”, by Morrissey and “A Game of Thrones, A Song of Ice and Fire” book 2 “ A Clash of Kings” by George R.R. Martin.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in Tofo Mozambique & Nels (SA), (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 86, Saturday 6^h February until Friday 12^th February 2016.

Portuguese word of the week: “Cinema”, emmm as in Cinema…. 

Saturday: got a shock when I found out my Happi balance is about 2500mets, oops I have to be more selective and mainly have porridge and soup. Went North again to “Office” there was a large swell, which meant it took longer to get there and back. The visibility was amazing; saw a Jenkins Ray, and 2 Devil Rays but no sharks. In the afternoon went to “Giants” once again wonderful viz, apart from big eye trevally and barracuda didn’t see much. I popped in to “Mr Fresh”, when I was paying I was asked to pay the money to a couple of children who were topping up there pre-paid card (a lot of locals have simple bank accounts with a pre-paid card that they can use). The man behind the counter asked me to do this, I gave them money and walked out with my goods. I really don’t know what happened there.

 Chatting with my little friends.

Sunday, went on a very early Ocean Safari with 2 lovely Chinese women who were terrified, they couldn’t swim and gripped on to the ropes all the time. It was when we encountered a huge pod of Dolphins that they relaxed. I had them in life jackets and sat next to them. Every time Fanni, JJ or Tim went in to snorkel with the dolphins the women tensed up and relaxed when they climbed back in the boat. In the afternoon I had a new tattoo of R2D2 and BB-8 from Star Wars, Kalle did it for me while we listened to classic Britpop. Will have to be out of the water for a while and wear t-shirts while it’s healing.

 This represents the old and new in Star Wars.

Monday, my day off. Slept in late, had Rusty over which was lovely. Popped in to Liquid for some soup from Happi and did shopping a lazy day. The new tatt is looking good.

 Mums not sure about the new tatt, Helen gave it the thumbs up.

Tuesday, I had a terrible night couldn’t sleep. I was standing looking up at the stars eating cheap baked beans at 1am. Spent time chatting with a woman who dived with us and lives on the Comoro islands, sounds like a lovely place. Another power cut this evening that lasted a number of hours, I couldn’t be bothered to stay up so got under my net listened to music and read. I had planned to stay up late as I’m visa running tomorrow, but after last night’s lack of sleep I was tired.

 It looks pretty, but on a hot night i’d rather of had the fan on.

Wednesday, Got picked up by Mike around 6.30am, good thing I had spelt as I drove the Inhambane to Xia Xia section which took about 4 hours. Once near Maputo we took a detour to bypass the city. The new ring road built by the Chinese is impressive but not finished, the road just end. We followed everyone else on to dirt road past small houses, as people were putting up there washing. This detour didn’t last long one, once the ring road is complete it will make the journey so much easier. The border was quick and easy, I did have a niggle in the back of my mind as 30 days ran out on Tuesday, it didn’t get noticed, phew. Arrived at Mamma Mia amount 11pm, good to be back in Nels.

 The posh new ring road just ends, let the detour commence.

Thursday, Cinema day. My regular cab driver drove me around a couple of times, does he ever sleep. The staff at the cinema recognise me and asked how many films I was seeing. Originally it was 4 but I changed the times which resulted in only 3 films being seen. The first 2 films had there credits cut, which stresses me. During the 3^rd film “The Hateful Eight” I could feel myself tensing up. There was about a minute to go when the sound stopped but the picture remained. I actually looked back I was the only person in the cinema and shouted for the sound to be turned up. The sound didn’t returned, I sat there determined to watch everything. Did a little shopping during the day everything was done in the one shopping centre.

 My left plate of meat X-rayed 3 times.

Friday, went to have an X-Ray on my left foot, I had to see a Dr first then had the actual X-Ray, followed by seeing the Dr again. This cost me about 800 Rand, the Dr didn’t actually examine me she just looked at my foot from a distance. I was informed that there was nothing broken or fractured; the Dr couldn’t explain why one toe is a little out of place. For a price of course it could be straightened, I will have to have it looked at in the future. After some more shopping I made it back to the cinema and saw 2 more films. I spoke to the manager about the cutting of credits, “Marvels, Deadpool” would deffo have a post credit scene and I didn’t want to miss it. He said that they shouldn’t ever cut the films, I pointed out it happens all the time. After enjoying a great adult humoured superhero film I lightly gripped my seat with anticipation as the credits rolled. I saw the post credit scene and laughed like a drain, I was a happy geek travelling home in another cab.

 Its 23 Rand to the pound while I was away.

In other news, met a little boy who had 6 fingers and toes on his right side. Skyped with SAZ and the kids at mums, then with Hel and mum the next night. Saw a poor white Rabbit being held up by a child by the side of the road. Enjoyed a lovely thunder and lightning stormed as I arrived at Nels.

 My first room (more about that next week) and a friendly animatronic dino by the cinema who I wanted to take home.

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have been watching: “Jupitar Ascending”, (2015), “Bound”, (1996), “Aeon Flux”, ( 2005), “Constantine”, (2005), Hitchhickers Guide To The Galaxy”, (2005), Marvel’s, The Avengers: Age of Ultron”, (2015), “John Wick”, (2014), “The 5^th Wave”, (2016), “The Finest Hours”, (2016), “The Hateful Eight”, (2016), “Deadpool”, (2016), “How To Be Single”, (2016)  

This week I have mainly been listening to: ”LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”,(06 & 07/02/2016) “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Mid-Week)”, (10/02/2016), “Morrissey”, “Smiths”, “David Bowie”, “Pulp”, “Pet Shop Boys”, “The Beach Boys”

Reading: “The Hitchhickers Guide To the Galaxy: The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe”, by Douglas Adams, “Knit One, Kill Two”, by Maggie Sefton, “Morrissey List of the Lost”, by Morrissey and “A Game of Thrones, A Song of Ice and Fire” book 2 “ A Clash of Kings” by George R.R. Martin.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in Tofo Mozambique (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 85, Saturday 30^th January until Friday 5^th February 2016.

Portuguese word of the week: “Inseto”, meaning Insect, like Marjorie the mantis. 

Saturday: Early morning we were kitted up for a dive to “Giants”, however the sea was a big so we were delayed. I didn’t think the dive was going to happen, so at lunchtime I had soup and pasta in fact everything. Shortly after we got the go ahead from the skipper, diving on a full tummy is not a pleasant feeling. At the end of the day there was more wonderful Finnish food as most of the Liquid family got together to say bye to Viivi, hello to Tim and JJ and Kalle and Emma and family. I enjoyed a number of G&Ts as the sun went down.

 Most of the Liquid Family together.

Sunday: Note to self don’t drink all the G&Ts offered to you. Luckily the double tank I was due to go on got cancelled due to bad weather. Mozambeats were reshowing the new Leo DiCaprio film. One friend arrived, who had had a number of sherbets, and pointed out that I am a little boring, because I don’t go out etc. It’s true, but I’m knackered after a full day at the dive shop I do just want to go home. I really couldn’t be bothered so I left, went home a little sad.

 Walking Rusty early morning, normally these rock pools are covered up.

Monday, my day off. As usual I did very little lot’s of sleep, painted walked Rusty that sort of thing.

Tuesday, I dived to “Giants” and then to “Salon” the viz on both was really not impressive. The first I was sweeping keeping an eye on the group a little like an underwater sheep dog. Later at Salon I was guiding my bosses dad, so no pressure. The drop was not great because the customer let go of the line and we got swept away (I’m not blaming him of course). I navigated back to the reef, it took a little while but I found the “Mighty Salon”. Took rusty in today, he was waiting for me after every dive and followed me around the dive shop, his mum returns end of the week I will so miss him, I will really miss the daily contact.

 Africa has changed me….

Wednesday, another 2 dives to “Reggies” and “Giants”. I haven’t been north a lot so the chance to visit “Reggies” was one I couldn’t miss. At one point I noticed a Leopard shark approaching. I shook my rattle vigorously so that no one missed seeing this beauty. Look forward to another trip north soon. After filling my tummy with more good food from Happi it was off to ”Giants”, I am never boarded of this site, we didn’t see anything big but who cares its “Giants”. Spent some time with kalle working out a new design for a tattoo, can’t wait to have it done.

 Kalle’s tattoo parlour, working on Viivi and then Fanni earlier in the week.

Thursday I was a little late in as I had to wait for the gardener to pay him his salary. This morning was very hot, so the lift from Chris to Liquid was most appreciated. My gear had been set up we went far south today to “Hogwarts”. On the drop there is a huge pinnacle of rock that is shaped like the bow of a boat (I think so anyway) noticed a huge moray calls it home. Coming back we encountered a huge pod of dolphins, I don’t know why we didn’t get in. Because in the afternoon went on Ocean Safari with the same people and we saw zip. Pedro the skipper did see a manta but it dived before we were ready to get in. Such a wasted opportunity this morning to snorkel with Dolphins. Moved all my belongings to my old hut as Nadia returns tomorrow.

  My fave Happi meal of the week.

Friday, finished moving my stuff and through the trip switches, “hey presto” I have electricity. I am going to feel a little lonely after having Rusty with me all the time recently. Another 2 dives to “Manta” and “Giants” unfortunately nothing big seen on either. But we did appear to be a customer missing at “Manta”, we checked on him and he was safely sitting in the rain on the boat there was a prob with his gear. The viz was terrible maybe 5 metres so he didn’t miss much. Coming home we were rained on heavy, in fact Tofo had been rained on a lot while we were away. After the best Happi meal of the week “Carrot and Ginger Soup”, “Soya (meat) balls, Cous Cous and roasted Pumpkin in Mint” followed my one of Fanni’s muffins. I went to “Giants”. The launch was tough due to the sea being big, holding on to the boat when its full of men (a couple rather large) was not easy while the skipper starts the engines. Still a lovely drift dive. Back on the surface I did feel a little unwell after all the food (I didn’t chuck). I’m back in my little hut everything is good with the world. Next week I have to go to South Africa again, this time I will be staying a few days having a little holiday.

 One of Fanni’s Muffins.

In other news, Joonas and Liz are back it’s great to see them. Joonas tried to sneak up on me but I saw him and throw my arms around him. Lovely seeing Liz as well, I love it when people return. Met Tanks the dog I looked after in 2014, she appears to remember me as she ran up to me and wanted so loving. A number of powercuts during the week. We had another Praying Mantis at the dive shop amazing little looking creatures, I called her Marjorie.

 Marj the Praying Mantis.

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have been watching: “Next”, (2007), “Project Almanac”, (2014), “9”, (2009), “Paddington”, (2014), “Kick Ass 2”, (2013). 

This week I have mainly been listening to: ”LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”,(30 & 31/01/2016) & (07/03/2007) “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Mid-Week)”, (03/02/2016), “Morrissey”, “Pulp”, “David Bowie”,

Reading: “The Hitchhickers Guide To the Galaxy”, by Douglas Adams, “Knit One, Kill Two”, by Maggie Sefton, “Morrissey List of the Lost”, by Morrissey and “A Game of Thrones, A Song of Ice and Fire” book 2 “ A Clash of Kings” by George R.R. Martin.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in Tofo Mozambique (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 84, Friday 23^rd January until Friday 29^th January 2016.

HAPPY BDAY 23^rd January to my Niece Anaia.

Portuguese word of the week:  “Felzi”, meaning “Happy”.  Happy to be in Tofo.

Saturday.  It was 27c at 8am, another hot summer’s day in Tofo.  Today I swept on a dive to “Giants”.  Everyone was over excited on the safety stop due to the fact that 3 Devil Rays were circling below us like ballerinas.  Then I helped at “Clownfish”.  One customer had buoyancy problems so I swam just a little above and pushed her back down when needed.  I sort of puppeteered her round the dive site.  The customer was very grateful after and thanked me for helping.  Tim a new DM joined us last week.  Today a guy called JJ who had dived a couple of days ago came in and asked about the DM programme and starts straight away.  Skyped with the B’day girl my niece Anaia in the evening.

Happy Bday Anaia

She was happy to chat honest.

Sunday, really was a wet day.  Straight away I spent time in the pool with Manuel one of our Mozziebeak guys.  Then off to “Marble Arch” for an amazing dive, the viz was so clear.  However the highlight lying on the sea bed with customers looking through an arch of rock to view the best aquarium in the world.  Coming home we came across a group of snorkelers with a Manta, so of course we got in. I clearly saw the outline of the Manta from a distance.  Spent some of the afternoon on the beach with the bosses boys and the new Finnish family.  The beach was very busy, I’m pleased to say that there was a life guard on duty.  There really should have been more than one but one is still good.

Monday, a great dive to “Giants Castle”, the viz was not as good as last week but I did see a large Jenkins Ray chilling on the sea floor.  However another Devil Ray was spotted towards the end of the safety stop, we all just carried on hanging there in the water watching this majestic creature chill about 10 metres underneath us.  We later found out that another dive shop that were on the same dive site a few minutes in front of us saw 2 Manta’s.  That’s the beauty of the ocean its huge you never know what you’re going to see.  I’d never seen the sea so flat.

Tuesday, so much rain many of the sand roads in Tofo have become swimming pools.  I lead an Ocean Safari, a very full boat.  We were buzzed by Dolphins; in the water I clearly saw 7 swimming under me.  Tofinho beach where I walk rusty is normally empty just a few fisherman, crabs and bird, plus the occasional dog being walked.  But this evening there were a lot of people not sure if there was some sort of even going on.  Rusty and I kept ourselves to ourselves.

The BIG Bus.

Lazy day at the Petrol Station.

Wednesday, my day off.  The electricity credit ran out early morning.  Later I went in to the market as I knew a couple of guys sold credit, they never turned up.  I then had to make my way to petrol station 4.5km away, I took the big bus which cost 7 mets (it’s about 65mets to the pound at the mo).  Once there a Policeman informed me that the normal electricity shop was closed but I could buy credit in the petrol station shop.  Once I had my credit slip I passed him and his very large gun and thanked him saying “Obrigardo”.  While waiting across the road for a Chapa back to Tofo the Policeman and his gun came over, he spoke about other ways I could say thank you in Portuguese and other local languages.  I really thought maybe he wanted money.  He then steps in to the road and pulls over the next passing car by waving his gun, asking them to take me back to Tofo.  This was so sweet of him, all I had to say thank you was fresh bread I had just bought, so gave him a bun (this is not a way of saying thank you that he had suggested earlier).

he has a BIG Gun.

Travelling home in style.

Thursday, I was supposed to take a group of people to the Estuary to snorkel looking for amongst other things Sea Horses.  I haven’t done the trip for over a year, and have been worrying that I won’t find the reef as you have to first walk across the sand flats for 20 to 30 minutes.  My other big concern was that I wouldn’t find a Sea Horse, normally Mani goes and spots them everywhere, I’m sure he’s pulling them out of his pocket.  I got everything prepared and waited for 11am, the hour passed and nothing.  The group never turned up; I was secretly pleased. I’m going to ask Mani to take me on a refresher reccie.  Spoke for a long time to new DMT JJ’s parents about life the universe and everything really lovely people.

Lost the D in my name.

Got given a new bracelet.

Friday. Happi (means Oxygen in Finnish) opened, with Finnish style porridge and coffee for brekkie, soups and salad for lunch all veggie and healthy.  Went to “Giants” on a staff dive due to Viivi leaving us Sunday.  I was a few meters behind Mike at one point that he saw 3 Eagle Rays, I just saw Mike finn’s. But still a lovely dive.  Another very hot humid day in Tofo.

Emmmm…

Cauliflower soup.

In other news, I was kidnapped while skypeing with Anaia, her brother Jesse grabs the phone and ran off.  During a power cut I discovered all the matches were damp due to excessive rain, the roof leaks. Gave 2 mets to Henrik, guess what I was 2 mets short of my shopping a few hours later.  I managed to find the money in between old receipts, that’s karma I think. 

This week I have been watching: “Kara: (Unofficial Star Wars short) (2016), “Minions”, (2015), “Angels and Demons”, (2009), “Adventures in babysitting”, (1987), “Chappie”, (2015), “Teminator: Genisys”, (2015), “Kingsmen: The Secret Service”, (2014), 

This week I have mainly been listening to: ”LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (22 & 23/01/16) “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Mid-Week)”, (28/01/216),  “Morrissey”, “David Bowie”,  “Pulp”,  “Lana Del Ray”,

Reading: “The Hitchhickers Guide To the Galaxy”, by Douglas Adams, “Knit One, Kill Two”, by Maggie Sefton, “Morrissey List of the Lost”, by Morrissey and “A Game of Thrones, A Song of Ice and Fire” book 2 “ A Clash of Kings” by George R.R. Martin.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in Tofo Mozambique (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 83, Friday 16^th January until Friday 22^nd January 2016.

Portuguese word of the week: “Festa”, meaning “Party”, yes I have been a dirty stop out on two evenings this week.

Saturday: Lead a dive to “Giants Castle”, the launch was rough the sea was big, the captain gunned the engines as we hit a huge wall of water.  I got pushed down the boat and lost my sun glasses. I will admit I was annoyed but that’s part of the job.  At “Giants” the viz was really clear but most importantly there were two mantas, everyone was so excited including me as a result I had a huge grin behind my regulator and couldn’t wait to tell everyone at the dive shop. Skyped with mum and Helen and straight after with MOZ which was lovely.

 Skyping with Mum and Helen.

Sunday, A quiet day, spent wielding a paint brush helping to decorate the new café/restaurant which will open soon.  Most of the day I was up a ladder trying to reach awkward areas in cob wedded corners.  Last few weeks there has been a journalist staying above the dive shop, she’s been bring me cups of tea (real tea not tea bags) and biscuits.  As a thank you Jenny, Megan (who I hadn’t seen in a year, now seen her twice in a week) and myself were invited to a goodbye meal.  Lovely evening lots of food and drink plus good music.  One thing I have learned is a “Press Card” really opens door and the freebies are everywhere.

I’m sure there was an interesting story being told

Such nice food what a treat.

Monday, took a small group on Ocean Safari, the sea was very choppy I was standing at the front being thrown about.  We saw a couple of dolphins and nothing else which is a pity.  I cut my right big toe on the launch it just carried on bleeding in to my dive boots for the next couple of hours.

Real Tea…

And Bicces i could get used to this.

Tuesday, First I went to “Giants Castle” great viz, I was asked by a customer to take pics of him during the dive.  Filming and diving is not something I’m used to, hopefully I managed to get some nice pictures.  Later went to Clownfish”, there was a lot of surge, sand being kicked up and sand flying around resulting in terrible viz at times.  I assisted Viivi do her equipment exchange and stress test.  This requires us to breath from one regulator, taking turns at the at the bottom of the pool (3 metres deep) while swapping all our dive gear making it look effortless and easy.  Viivi got a 5 which is all that matters.  After the marked exchange we have to do it again but this time the instructor messes with the gear (stressing you out a little).  I really don’t enjoy this part at all, I’ll admit.

Just a beautiful picture.

In the pool at Liquid.

Wednesday, my day off. Spent a number of hours on the porch trying to be creative, finished the bday cartoon/model for my niece, started the new S**T painting of the Week. Then took Rusty out to Viivi and Fanni snorkel test, which was as messy as normal.  For the first time I was one of the people pouring alcohol down the snorkel, ive gone up in the world.

Snorkel test….

Mayhem.

Thursday, Start with the usual walk on the beach for Rusty, but today I was also taking pictures of the model I have made for my niece. The wind was in the wrong direction so didn’t quite get the shot I wanted but got a few nice pics with long early morning shadows.    Lead a lovely chilled dive to “Chamber of Secrets” lots of nooks and crannies to navigate around and through.  Because the water is warm I am wearing my shortee, this does mean however that I am susceptible to scrapes.  Sure enough I got a couple of deep scratches on my leg which bled as we returned to land.  Everything is now covered up so should be clean and heal ok.  Once back at the dive shop, I lead an ocean safari absolutely nothing seen not even a single Dolphin very disappointing.  A nice young man is helping me regarding my children’s story.

 It really was that hot.

Friday.  Lead a dive to “Salon” there is a juvenile Potato Grouper which has been there all week, it appears to have a wound possibly from spear fishing.  “Salon” is not a site you associate with Groupers.  Had customers who were very demanding, I just smiled and got on with it.  In the afternoon I assisted Mike in a dive to “Simons Town”, I helped a customer down and stayed with them throughout, I think they were glad I was by their side.  After all I’m there to help, plus I get to enjoy another dive.  Said goodbye to Carlo who left after 5 months, and Juusi who was hear visiting Fanni for 2 months really lovely guys, I hate it when people leave. In other news, I spent a while looking for my phone, even retraced my steps with the light of my torch. In the end I found the phone under my hat, “Note to self look under the hat”.  Been finding frogs/toads in pool, I put them on the grass.  James the Guarda flings them out in to the old lagoon, “Note to self just do it my way it’s safer for the poor creature”.  I lost a torch at the snorkel test, it was nowhere to be seen.  On Thursday it was returned to me, there are good people out there.    

This week I have been watching: “Butterfly Effect: Reverlation”, (2009), “Minions”, (2015),  

This week I have mainly been listening to: ”LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (15 & 17/01/16) “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Mid-Week)”, (20/01/16),  “Morrissey”, “David Bowie”,  “Pulp”,  “Fleetwood Mac”, “Van Morrision”,

Reading: “The Hitchhickers Guide To the Galaxy”, by Douglas Adams, “Knit One, Kill Two”, by Maggie Sefton, “Morrissey List of the Lost”, by Morrissey and “A Game of Thrones, A Song of Ice and Fire” book 2 “ A Clash of Kings” by George R.R. Martin.