Week 265, Saturday 13th until Friday 19th July 2019.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in Ibiza (Spain), West Sussex, East and West London (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 265 Saturday 13th until Friday 19thJuly 2019.

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“JBomb photo bombing mum”.

Last week (6th to 13th July) I was on the beautiful Balearic island of Ibiza with family for the second year. If you have read this ramble before you will know that other than “Doctor Who”, “Star Trek” and “Star Wars” I love to travel.

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“Its Gatwick, not a mirror world”.

Over the last couple of years, I have been trying to get back to Tofo, Mozambique. One of the most beautiful places on the planet I have ever seen! However, after 3yrs I’m starting to realise that maybe that particular dream will never become a reality. That thought really makes me very sad.

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“Loving the villa. Out and about with my little friends”.

After the recent trip (and of course last year’s visit) I have decided to look at the possibilities of spending an extended period in the Mediterranean, more specifically the Ibiza. One issue, i don’t speak Spanish but surely I can learn, there must be room for basic Spanish in the soggy mass I call a brain!

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“Mars or the Mediterranean?”.

The family hire a villa in the Saint Joan de Labritja, out in the sticks with the nearest neighbours were a good couple of hundred metres in any direction. None of us are really party people. There is nothing not too like about the island. Is it strange that I particularly love the red Martian like dust / soil seen all over? The BIG question, could someone like me with no actual talent in anything exist in a place like that. Over the next few months I must think about my future.

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“Everyone enjoyed the pool”.

For this week’s blog I thought I would trawl through the hundreds (and I really do mean hundreds) of pictures and choose ones I liked and write a line or two about them. Its either this or you’ll all have to come round and sit on my friend’s new sofa and bore you with a slide show going in detail about each snap. It’s up to you! If you’re reading this at work, you have the advantage of being paid to look at my holiday pictures.

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“Fun in the sun and heat”.

As I mentioned at the start of this ramble, I love to travel. In a couple of weeks’ time I’m travelling with my baby (hope they don’t mind me calling them babies, there adults who are far more responsible than I am) sisters to visit Sri Lanka to see relatives. More about that nearer the time.

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“We all fell for the views. Yes i did swim out to the rocks”.

And Finally……

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“Nothing to see in the skinny dipping picture. Please move along”.

At Gatwick Airport while sitting at the gate waiting for family to arrive. The reason we were separated is very boring. Don’t worry, it didn’t involve me being taken into a small room and probed with rubber gloves.

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“A pair looking at Pairs”.

Standing next to me was a group of women clearly ready for a damn good time. A couple were talking about the fact that they had not brought any spare knickers. That conversation stopped when they noticed a group of men standing the other side of the gate / waiting room. Imagine the scene a pride of lions (the women) noticing a dazzle (according to the net) of defenceless Zebra’s (the men) wondering aimlessly around a watering hole. I almost felt sorry for the guys; it was going to be a messy weekend for some people!

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“Someone will have a memorable scar in the future. A kiss as the sun goes down”.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

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Writing this shiz, while distracted by the beauty of Ibiza”.

This week I have mainly been watching:

“600 Bottles Of Wine”, (S1, ep 1). “Click”, (ep 1000, TX: 06/07/19)(ep 1001, 13/07/19). “DC: Swamp Thing”, (S1, ep 7). “Fear The Walking Dead”, (S5, ep 7). “Final Space”, (S2, ep 4). “Game Face”, (S2, ep 1). “Game Of Thrones”, (S2, ep 7). “IZombie”, (S5, ep 11). “Krypton”, (S2, ep 6). “Los Espooky”, (S1, ep 6). “Louis Theroux: Surviving America’s Most Hated Family”, (TX: 14/07/19). “MISFITS”, (S4, ep 7 & ep 8)(S5, ep 1 to ep 4). “NOS4A2”, (S1, ep 6). “Strange Things”, (S3, ep 6 to ep 8). “Terry Nation Army”, (S1, ep 3, TX: 15/07/19). “The Crystal Maze: Celebrity Crystal Maze”, (S6, ep 4, TX: 12/07/19). “The Graham Norton Show”, (S25, ep 13, TX: 28/06/19). “The Last Leg”, (S17, ep 8, TX: 05/07/19)(ep 9, TX: 12/07/19). “Top Gear”, (S27, ep 5, TX: 15/07/19). “Tucker And Dale Vs Evil”, (2010). “Year Of The Rabbit”, (S1, ep 5 & ep 6).

I also watched the following Apollo 50th Anniversary or Space related shows.

“8 Days To The Moon And Back”, (TX: 10/07/19). “CBEEBIES Stargazing Special”, (TX: 12/07/19). “Chasing The Moon”, (ep 1 & ep 2, TX: 16/07/19)(ep 3 & ep 4, TX: 17/07/19)(ep 5 & ep 6, TX: 18/07/19). “Horrible Histories: Moon Mayhem”, (S8, ep 7, TX: 08/07/19). “Horizon: 40 Years On The Moon”, (TX: 09/07/09). “Horizon: Guide To Space Shuttles”, (TX: 10/04/11). “Maddie’s: Do You Know? : Lifts And Spacesuits”, (S2, ep 18, TX: 05/09/18). “Moon Landing Live Update”, (ep 1, TX: 15/07/19)(ep 2, 16/07/19)(ep 3, 17/07/19)(ep 4, TX: 18/07/19)(ep 5, TX: 19/07/19). “Moon Launch Live”, (TX: 13/07/19). “Stargazing Moon Landing Special”, (TX: 15/07/19). “The Sky At Night: The Moon, The Mission And The BBC”, (TX: 14/07/19). “The Day We Walked On The Moon”, (TX: 16/07/19).

This week I have mainly been listening to:

“13 minutes To The Moon (BBC World Service)”, (S1, ep 10 & ep 11, 15/07/19). “30 Animals That Made Us Smarter (BBC World Service)”, (S1, ep 17, 15/07/19). “Daddy Look At Me”, (ep 7, 18/07/19). “Griefcast”, (ep 89, 17/07/19). “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (09/07, 10/07, 15/07, 16/07/19). “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (18/07/19). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (13/07, 18/07, 19/07/19). “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 101, 18/07/19). “Rule Of Three”, (18/07/19). “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 150, 12/07/19)(ep 151, 19/07/19). “Space (BBC World Service)”, (ep 23, 13/07/19). “Strange Times”, (ep 308, 28/06/19)(ep 309, 17/07/19). “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 100, 12/07/19). “The All New Angelos And Barry Podcast”, (16/07/19). “The Nick Abbot Habit”, (15/07/19). “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 85, 12/07/19)(ep 86, 19/07/19). “Morrissey”, “Elbow”, “Fraser Chorus”, “Betty Boo”, “Hans Zimmer, Theme to 13 Minutes To The Moon (BBC World Service)”, “The Velvet Underground”, “Pulp”, “Lush”, “Throwing Muses”.

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Week 264, Saturday 6th until Friday 12th July 2019

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in Surrey, West Sussex and Ibiza Spain.

Week 264, Saturday 6th until Friday 12th July 2019.

This week I’ve been on holiday with family in Ibiza. And what a wonderful 7 days it’s been.

These are the highlights for each of the above including me. But which statement fits which person?

One person read a lot of books!

One person got in a swimming pool for the first time in a year!

One person needed a Doctor and had a stitch!

One person spent 4 hours on a li-low with two inflatables (one a Flamingo) on there tummy and floated around the pool!

One person fell in the pool by accident

One person skinny dipped a lot

And finally one person swam in the sea most days.

These are genuine moments from this week I will remember.

If you can guess which statement is for which person, then keep it to yourself, and award yourself a prize.

Thank you, SAZ, Tim, Hel, Mum, Anoodle and Jbomb for a lovely seven days.

This week I have mainly been watching!

DC Swamp Thing“, (S1, ep 6). “Fear The Walking Dead“, (S5, ep 6). “Final Space“, (S2, ep 3). “Izombie“, (S5, ep 10). “Krypton“, (S2, ep 5). “Los Espookys“, (S1, ep 4). “Scream, The TV Series“, (S1, ep 1). “Stranger Things“, (S3, ep 1, ep 5). “Terry Nation Army“, (S1, ep 2, TX: 08/07/19). “Top Gear“, (S27 ep 4, TX: 07/07/19).

This week I have mainly been listening to!

13 Minutes To The Moon, (BBC World Service)“, (S1, ep 9, 08/07/19). “30 Animals That Made Us Smarter, (BBC World Service)“, (S1, ep 16, 08/07/19). “Daddy Look At Me“, (S1, ep 6, 12/07/19). “Griefcast“, (ep 88, 10/07/19). “Iain Lee, (Bonus)“, (04/07/19). “Iain Lee, (Highlights)“, (04/07, 08,07/19). “LBC, Mystery Hour“, (3 Podcast eps released, 10/07/19). “LBC, Nick Abbot, (whole show)”, (06/07, 12/07/19). “NASA, Houston We Have A Podcast“, (ep 100, 12/07/19). “Space, (BBC world Service)”, (ep 22, 13/07/19). “The Adam Buxton Podcast“, (ep 99, 08/07/19). “Morrissey“, “Smiths“, “White FM 103.7, Ibiza”, The Beach Boys“, “The Cure“, “The Thompson Twins“, “Queen“, “Blur“, “Radiohead“, “Tame Impala“, “Frank Sinatra“.

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Week 263, Saturday 29th June until Friday 5th July 2019.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East and West London, Essex & Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 263 Saturday 29th June until Friday 5thJuly 2019.


Last weekend was the hottest (in temperature) Glastonbury festival ever. Watching TV coverage it appeared that the 135,000 people who each paid £248.00 had a damn good time. Early Monday I saw a group at Victoria station with rucksacks looking tired and grubby there skin red, burnt to a crisp (admittedly they might not have been at Glasto) from the unforgiving sun during the weekend. But they were smiling.

I would love to go to Glasto, what puts me off is the price and the sheer number of people that attend. My festival experiences have mainly been inner city one day events. The type where no one’s interested in the support acts, it’s the headliner that everybody there to see. As soon as the gates open people stake there claim to a little patch of grass. If there in a group they can take turns to visit the loo or buy overpriced food and drink. However if your a “billy no mates” you have to hope that there are honest people around who will look after your belongings when a wee is required. The beauty of these events is that you can go home afterward.

My experience of a weekend event is The Reading Festival, which i visited a couple of times in the early 90s. A few memorable bands I saw include Nirvana, Manic Street Preachers, Tindersticks, Elastica, and Cypress Hill. Festivals like Reading and Glasto are small cites that appear for a few days then vanish for another year. Look away from the multiple stages of live music, food and other stalls you will see fields of tents, which i think are unnecessary. Who gets any sleep at these events! Even when the sun goes down there is music coming from every direction. At festivals like this everyone makes friends for life, who of course are never seen again!

My saddest memory of Reading is that my father had died whilst I was there. The night he passed away coincidently wasn’t a good night for me. I even left the site and tried to get a train home, but there was nothing until the morning. Once back at the festival i wrapped myself in a blanket and walked around with all the other lost souls. This all took place as my dad took his last breath. I think about that night often.

I enjoy watching Glasto and other festivals on TV. In the days before catch up telly, there was no choice but to watch the entire transmission. Nowadays I can watch live or pick and choose the bands I want to see. These days I am definitely an armchair reveller it’s the best way of attending events like this. By staying at home I save lots of money, but more importantly I never need to go any near the famous festival loos. There grim at the best of times! What must they have been like last weekend in that heat.

And Now For Something Completely Different……

Next week I return with members of the family to Ibiza. I intend on spending as much of the week as possible in or around the pool. A lot of that time will be spent catching my nephew and niece as they jump in.

During last years trip there were a few days when I felt unwell. A recent joke with family has been that “you cannot be unwell this year”. Last weekend a little cough appeared, when I mentioned this to my sisters they both replied by message immediately “Noooo”! Don’t worry I have been swigging from a bottle of tasty cough mixture. There is a possibility that I have slightly overdosed, as I type this my head is feeling woozy.

Highlights** next week may include a review of DJ Grandma spinning the wheels of steel at a Pasha foam party. Anoodle and JBomb explaining how they raced around the island Top Gear style on dodgy rental vespa’s. SAZ and Tim’s talking about their mysterious disappearance for a couple of days, only to return with huge smiles claiming they were abducted by aliens. And will Aunty Hel succeed in her Guinness skinny dipping freediving record attempt in the pool.

Please return next week for the Ibiza 2019 blog. (** i blame the cough medicine for letting my imagination run wild, none of the above highlights will happen).

And Finally……

After dealing with an enquiry on the phone, I asked “if there was anything else I could do”. The woman on the other end of the line said that she had recently been involved in a messy break up and wanted to know if I could arrange for her ex hubby to be killed.

Don’t worry I didn’t say that we could do it. However, maybe I should mention this to management, it might be an excellent new way of making money.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:

“Click”, (ep 999, TX: 29/06/19. “DC: Swamp Thing”, (S1, ep 5). “Fear The Walking Dead”, (S5, ep 5). “Final Space”, (S2, ep 2). “Game Of Thrones”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 10)(S2, ep 1 to ep 6). “Glastonbury 2019”, (Tame Impala, The Charlatans, TX: 28/06/19)(The Killers, TX: 29/06/19)(Billie Eilish, Christine And The Queens, The Cure, The Good, The Bad & The Queen, The Streets, TX: 30/06/19). “Have I Got News For You”, (S57, ep 6, TX: 09/06/19). “Krypton”, (S2, ep 4). “Los Espooky”, (S1, ep 3). “LOST”, (S1, ep 1 & ep 2). “MARVEL’s Jessica Jones”, (S3, ep 4 & ep 5). “MISFITS”, (S4, ep 4 to ep 6). “NOS4A2”, (S1, ep 5). “Solo, A Star Wars Story”, (2018). “Terry Nation Army”, (ep 1, 01/07/19). “The Crystal Maze: Celebrity Crystal Maze”, (S6, ep 3, TX: 05/07/19). “The Last Leg”, (S17, ep 7, TX: 28/06/19). “Top Gear”, (S27, ep 3, TX: 30/06/19). “Year Of The Rabbit”, (S1, ep 4).

This week I have mainly been listening to:

“13 minutes To The Moon (BBC World Service)”, (S1, ep 8, 01/07/19). “30 Animals That Made Us Smarter (BBC World Service)”, (S1, ep 15, 01/07/19). “Bian Gittens And Friends”, (ep 60, 02/07/19). “Daddy Look At Me”, (ep 5, 04/07/19). “Griefcast”, (ep 87, 03/07/19). “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (02/07/19). “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (01/07, 02/07, 03/07/19). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (29/06, 05/07/19). “Like Minded Friends”, (ep 139, 03/07/19). “NASA: Gravity Assist”, (28/06/19). “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 99, 05/07/19). “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 148, 28/06/19)(ep 149, 05/07/19). “Space (BBC World Service)”, (ep 13, 01/01/16)(ep 14, 06/01/16)(ep 15, 17/07/16)(ep 16, 12/01/17)(ep 17, 14/01/17)(ep 18, 20/08/17)(ep 19, 20/11/17)(ep 20, 11/01/18)(bonus ep, 20/05/19). “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 98, 30/06/19). “The Nick Abbot Habit”, (05/07/19). “Morrissey”, “Muse”, “Kaiser Chiefs”, “Kasabian”, “The Cure”, “Catatonia”, “Arctic Monkeys”, “U2”, “The Good, The Bad & The Queen”, “Depeche Mode”, “Frankie Goes To Hollywood”, “The Human League”.

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Week 262, Saturday 22nd until Friday 28th June 2019.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in Northamptonshire, East, West London & Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 262 Saturday 22nd until Friday 28thJune 2019.

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I wouldn’t regard myself as a winner. Apart from a bottle of wine I recently received because I was a member of crack pub quiz (which took place in a community hall) team. I haven’t won anything since the late 80s, when I answered a question on BBC Radio One and became the proud owner of a cheap rucksack. Earlier than that I helped my sister Hel became a runner up in a competition on BBC TV Saturday Superstore (1982 to 87). She had to think up a new member of the Nessy family for the cartoon “The Family-Ness” (1984 to 85). Her entry “Illness” was all her idea; I just draw what she wanted. And because she didn’t win I suppose that doesn’t count. No, I don’t consider myself as one of life’s natural winners.

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“My Precious”.
But maybe that’s all about to change, because I have recently become the first recipient of “In Poor Taste” The Golden Crotchcumber award. When Eric and Sean who host the podcast told me that I had been bestowed this honour, I didn’t know what to say. Of course, I realise that this was really given to me by there “most excellent” producer JPro who is the real genius behind the show, keeps the guys under control and holds everything together. Other hit podcast he has produced include “Hamster Ticklers Always Welcome” and the ever popular “I Bet You Cunt Drink Me Under My Table”. Many of you will also know his name from his percussion work with “Father Bastard and his Magic Band”. There Glastonbury set a couple of years will be talked about for years to come.

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“Interesting footwear seen this week”.
One thing I have no idea about is how big the award is! Will it take up a whole shelf! Is the front door big enough for it to pass through! Maybe the award will have to be situated in the garden! My friend who I live with recently bought a birdbath with a solar powered fountain for the back garden. This may have to be moved so that I can admire the award when I’m sitting in the living room. There’s room for the birdbath somewhere in the back of the garden. It’s summer after all; surly any self-respecting parent bird will be busy feeding there young to be bothered with bathing! Hopefully the award won’t be too shiny and distract the large number of planes that circle as they wait for a landing slot at Heathrow.

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“The pub car park looked like the Top Gear set”.
I am confident that JPro will have dealt with everything. Having it transported to the UK, as well as checking satellite images to see what type of crane he might need (If it’s as big as I suspect). What an honour this is to have been recognised for “excellence in listening”.

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“Trainspotting just got very cute”.
Seriously I was speaking to someone last week who has given me a few good ideas to help my creative side possibly make me a few pennies (don’t worry I am under no illusions that I will ever be able to stop doing a proper boring job). But to do this I have to get off my lardy ass. That’s what podcasters like Sean and Eric do. They record, edit and then put their creativity out there for the world to enjoy. I need to be a little bit more like them. Even if the creative side doesn’t make any money, it’s the thought that someone might like what they have seen, even made them smile that may help me feel better.

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“Enjoying Iain, Katherine and Dom on the Rabbit Hole”.
I can’t wait for my award to arrive from across the pond. Maybe Lizo Mzimba BBC entertainment correspondence might be interested in covering the story.

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“Almost life sized these pics”.
You can listen to In Poor Taste by going to Podbean, itunes or www.podsburgh.com. Tell them I sent you.
And Now For Something Completely Different……

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“Lets play spot the difference”.
Last weekend I spent time with my mum and sister. Its’s always relaxing and nice to be away from the capital.
Here are the edited highlights.

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“Two peas in a pod”.
Being told that the beans I found in the garden and eaten, were not beans and should have gone in my mouth.
Watching a Blackbird’s nest from the kitchen window. It was lovely seeing the diligent parents feeding the 3 or 4 hungry babies. (Who have since fledged successfully).

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“Look carefully, there are chicks in this picture”.
Coming out of the loo in the early hours of the morning, then suddenly hearing a voice say “hello”. Once my heart returned to its regular rhythm, I discovered my sister sitting in the kitchen in the dark with a smile on her face.

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“You may all be seated”.
Visiting the canal, and watching Ducks waddling up an improvised bridge (a plank of wood) to get out of the water.

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“I like looking down”.
Speaking to my Aunty Jean. Who by the time you read this will have gone on a climate change march in London. Good on you Aunty, “power to the people”.

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“The food was better than i thought”.
And Finally……
Stuck at traffic lights I was entertained by looking in my rear-view mirror and watching a man on a motorbike. Who was staring at his mirror, looking up his nose from different directions?

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“See it doesn’t shine out of my……”.
Plus
I am pretty sure that actress Jane Horrocks walked passed me at the train station I work near.

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“Wishing i could go through the Stargate, while writing this shiz”.
My Mid Life Crisis Conts……
This week I have mainly been watching:
“Before I Go To Sleep”, (2014). “Click”, (TX: 22/06/19). “Coin Operated”, (2017). “DC: Swamp Thing”, (S1, ep 4). “Fear The Walking Dead”, (S4, ep 3 to ep 16)(S5, ep 1 to ep 4). “Final Space”, (S2, ep 1). “Game Of Thrones: The Last Watch”, (2019). “Glastonbury 2019: Georgia”, (TX: 28/06/19). “Good Omens”, (S1, ep 5 & ep 6). “In The Dark”, (S1, ep 12 & ep 13). “IZombie”, (S5, ep 8 & ep 9). “Krypton”, (S2, ep 3). “Last Voyage Of The Empress”, (2005). “London Kills”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 5). “Los Espooky”, (S1, ep 1 & ep 2). “MARVEL’s Jessica Jones”, (S3, ep 4 & ep 5). “NOS4A2”, (S1, ep 4). “Stargate SG1”, (S10, ep 5 & ep 6). “Storyville: Kate Nash, Underestimate The Girl”, (2018). “Summer Of Rockets”, (S1, ep 4). “The Crystal Maze: Celebrity Crystal Maze”, (S6, ep 2, TX: 28/06/19). “The Graham Norton Show”, (S25, ep 12, TX: 21/06/19). “The Planets”, (S1, ep 5, TX 25/06/19). “The Ranganation”, (S1, ep 6, TX: 23/06/19). “Tonight With Vladimir Putin”, (S1, ep 1 & ep 2, TX: 23/06/19). “Top Gear”, (S27, ep 2, TX: 23/06/19). “Wynonna Earp”, (S1, ep 6). “Year Of The Rabbit”, (S1, ep 3).
This week I have mainly been listening to:
“13 minutes To The Moon (BBC World Service)”, (S1, ep 7, 24/06/19). “30 Animals That Made Us Smarter (BBC World Service)”, (S1, ep 14, 24/06/19). “Buffy Speak”, (ep 7, 03/05/16)(ep 8, 08/05/16)(ep 9, 15/05/16). “Daddy Look At Me”, (ep 3, 27/06/19). “Griefcast”, (ep 86, 26/06/19). “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (26/06, 27/06/19). “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (21/06, 24/06, 25/06, 26/06, 27/06/19). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (22/06, 28/06/19). “Like Minded Friends”, (ep 4, 04/11/15)(ep 5, 11/11/15)(ep 6, 18/11/15)(ep 7, 25/11/15). “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 97, 21/06/19)(ep 98, 28/06/19). “Rule Of Three”, (01/11/18). “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 147, 22/06/19). “The All New Angelos And Barry Podcast”, (24/06/19). “The Nick Abbot Habit”, (21/06, 28/06/19). “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 84, 27/06/19). “Treasure Quest”, (BBC3CR, 22/06/19). “Morrissey”, “P.J Harvey”, “Manic Street Preachers”, “The Vaccines”, “Nirvana”, “Foo Fighters”, “Kate Nash”, “Kate Bush”, “Yeah Yeah Yeahs”, “The Cure”.

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Week 261, Saturday 15th until Friday 21st June 2019.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East, West, Central, North East London, Surrey & Northamptonshire (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 261 Saturday 15th until Friday 21stJune 2019.

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When driverless cars are part of all our lives, we’ll look back at the way that we drive today and wonder how anyone got to their destination.  Of course, that technology for people like me is a long way off.  When the tech is reliable and affordable I’ll embrace it.  The thought of doing nothing on a long journey other than sitting in the back watching several episodes of the latest rubbish I am enjoying, is exciting.  Of course, by then I won’t need a screen because information will be download directly into the soggy mass I call a brain!

20190621_090429.jpg “Trying to look human, early morning”.

Until then I like to be in control and know where I am going.  To do this I like to use a paper map, I have a Sat Nav but I prefer to look at a traditional map if possible.  Driving is an adventure; getting lost is part of the fun if you’re not in a hurry of course!

20190616_173210 “My signature position during Ariel Yoga”.

Sunday my friend and I were headed to North East London for the last Ariel Yoga session until September.  Due to train issues it was decided that I would drive.  Looking at the map a route was planned.  During the first 30 minutes of the journey everything went to plan and then I took a wrong turn.  Looking on the map I knew exactly where I had gone wrong but turning around was not an option on that road. The Sat Nav was no use due to its age and all the new buildings being built in the capital, it couldn’t hold its signal.  This meant that my friend who normally sits enjoying the view had to use her phone and become the sat nav.

20190616_183036 “I enjoy hanging around in this room”.

The rest of this journey for me was so stressful. The main issue about navigating by the phone is that the map is always a little behind where we were!  These resulted in either turning around or continuing to the next junction and re planning the route a number of times.  I can happily confirm that my navigator did an excellent job of working out a route as well as putting up with my continual moaning.  In fact, we arrived with a couple of minutes to spare which meant that we got our normal corner of the studio.  Driverless tech would have made that journey so much easier; I certainly wouldn’t have arrived looking sweatier than I do after the yoga session!  But like everyone I’ll just have to wait until that becomes a reality.

20190619_191405 “Very proud of this artist, inspired by Warhol”.

Until then I’ll continue to use an old-fashioned map.  Realistically in London, even I can’t get really lost.  Forget GPS and mobiles there’s always a sign around the next corner. Alternatively, I could stop a black cab and ask the driver for directions.  Though thinking they use Sat Nav’s these days I think!

20190620_190223_001 “I spotted three very small Fox cubs in this grass”.

And Now For Something Completely Different……

20190619_231941 20190619_231919 “Woke up tired, really didn’t sleep well”.

The diet is continuing to go well. In a few weeks’ time I return to Ibiza with family.  Last year my brother-in-law and I swam out to a huge rock a few hundred meters from the shore.  This year I intend on doing the same, but I haven’t been swimming for a long time.  If you have read this shiz before you will know I love to swim and used to do it regularly.

20190620_155037 “At work i found the place where photocopiers come to die”.

This week I discovered a new 50-meter pool locally to where I live.  It has four lanes for people who just want to swim back and forth.  No one is bobbing around like an iceberg chatting with friends.  Or children messing around and getting in the way.  After my 30 lengths, I felt like I had found my new pool.  That feeling soon disappeared when I read a sign informing me that the opening times were changing.  The only people that will be using the pool Monday to Friday (Its closed at weekends) will be those bored of watching Morning daytime TV.  I find the perfect pool almost on the doorstep and I won’t be able to use it.

20190403_173748 “Full of Pride”.

The swimming will of course help with the weight loss, but I need to show my nephew and niece that their old aunty can swim as well as their young daddy to the rock and back.  It’s a lot of pressure being an aunty; I take my responsibility very seriously.  If this means visiting the local skummy pool 25 metre pool instead, then so be it.

20190620_082910.jpg “Looking down”.

And Finally……

A couple of new guys at Ariel yoga wore jogging bottoms that left nothing to the imagination (I have a good imagination).  After the initial shock my eyes remained above the waist for the rest of the session.  I’m a vegetarian so not interested in meat sausages anyway!  Should I mention there off putting moans, grunts and sighs throughout the session.  No, that’s probably far too much for you to cope with!

20190621_193107.jpg “Trying to write this shiz on a bus”.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“Alien 3”, (1992).  “Click”, (TX: 15/06/19).  “DC: Swamp Thing”, (S1, ep 3).  “Fear The Walking Dead”, (S3, ep 4 to ep 15)(S4, ep 1 &  ep 2).  “In The Dark”, (S1, ep 11).  “IZombie”, (S5, ep 7).  “Krypton”, (S2, ep 2).  “Light As A Feather”, (S1, 5 & ep 6).  “MARVEL: Cloak & Dagger”, (S1, ep 3).  “MARVEL’s Jessica Jones”, (S3, ep 1 to ep 3).  “MISFITS”, (S3, ep 7 & 8)(S4, ep 1 & ep 2).  “NOS4A2”, (S1, ep 3).  “Papillon”, (1973).  “The Crystal Maze: Celebrity Crystal Maze”, (S6, ep 1, TX: 21/06/19).  “The Graham Norton Show”, (S25, ep 11, TX: 14/06/19).  “The Last Leg”, (S10, ep 5, TX: 14/06/19)(ep 6, TX: 21/06/19).  “The Planets”, (S1, ep 4, TX 18/06/19).  “The Ranganation”, (S1, ep 5, TX: 16/06/19).  “Top Gear”, (S27, ep 1, TX: 16/06/19).  “Year Of The Rabbit”, (S1, ep 2).  “Years And Years”, (S1, ep 6).     

This week I have mainly been listening to:  

“13 minutes To The Moon (BBC World Service)”, (S1, ep 6, 17/06/19).  “30 Animals That Made Us Smarter (BBC World Service)”, (S1, ep 13, 17/06/19).  “Anti Social Show”, (ep 74, 19/06/19).  “Buffy Speak”, (ep 4, 10/04/16)(ep 5, 17/04/16)(ep 6, 25/04/16).  “Daddy Look At Me”, (Trailer, 16/06/19)(Bonus, 19/06/19)(ep 1 to  ep 3, 20/06/19).  “Griefcast”, (ep 85, 19/06/19).  “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (14/06, 17/06, 2x 19/06, 20/06/19).  “In Poor Taste”, (107, 12/06/19).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (13/06/19, 20/06/19).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (15/06, 21/06/19).  “Like Minded Friends”, (ep 3, 28/10/15).  “NASA: Gravity Assist”, (13/06/19).  “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 96, 14/06/19).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 146, 14/06/19).  “Space (BBC World Service)”, (ep 1, 14/12/15)(ep 2, 16/12/15)(ep 3, 17/12/15)(ep 4 & ep 5, 18/12/15)(ep 6, 20/12/15)(ep 7, 21/12/15)(ep 8, 23/12/15)(ep 9, 26/12/15)(ep10, 27/12/15)(ep 11, 30/12/15).  “Strange Times”, (ep 307, 19/06/19).  “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 97, 15/06/19).  “The All New Angelos And Barry Podcast”, (17/06/19).  “The Nick Abbot Habit”, (15/06/19).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 83, 20/06/19).  “Morrissey”,  “Biffy Clyro”,  “Starship”,  “Elastica”,  “Suede”,  “Elbow”,  “Manic Street Preachers”,  “David Bowie”,  “Nirvana”, “Smith”,  “Madness: Live at the Isle Of Wight (Absolute Radio)”,  “Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds”,  “Vampire Weekend”.

    

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Week 260, Saturday 8th until Friday 14th June 2019.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East and West London, Surrey & Essex (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 260 Saturday 8th until Friday 14thJune 2019.

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At the time of writing I have lost over a stone in weight.  Stating this here publicly will probably bite me on my lardy arse in the future when all that weight returns.  Fingers crossed that doesn’t happen, either way it’s content!

20190614_13410620190614_13412720190614_134442 “What a team”.

A problem I have always suffered when shopping is acting a little like a house fly.  I don’t mean sniffing around looking for rotten shiz (product rotation was drummed into me when I worked in a supermarket, it’s boring but important. Plus, I was able to hide products I wanted to buy after my shift which I had priced down cheap. There had to be a perk!).  When I shop on my own I travel from isle to isle with no plan like a fly buzzing around looking at everything.  Whereas my friend MOZ is far more organised with her lists.  Ok, if a yellow label catches her eye she’ll have a look but otherwise she knows what she wants.

20190614_134028 “Final score, game two”.

 

Shopping last weekend, we had to rush to the supermarket because it was almost the end of the trading day.  This wouldn’t have been the situation if I had not have spent so long in a book shop, which by the way I left £16 lighter.  If only dieting was as easy!

20190609_172521 “Visited the dump, enjoying the view”.

With only 15 minutes left there was no time to stray from MOZ list.  I ignored all the products calling my name that I have built a close and personal relationship with over the years and kept walking.  Because of the limited time left we split up. Rushing through the isles reminded me of the 1993 to 2001 & 2007 ITV quiz “Supermarket Sweep” hosted by the late great Dale Winton.  For a couple of minutes, I moved up and down the fresh fruit and veg isle concentrating very hard trying to find a Pomegranate.  If I had been a contestant Dale would have still welcomed me at the end of the round with a huge smile even though I failed to find the fruit.

20190609_174153 “Even the smallest creature can be interesting”.

Shopping like this has its advantages; you pretty much buy only what you came in for.  But as shown above the disadvantage is that you may come away empty handed.  This extreme high-pressure shopping is good at keeping people like me on target.  I haven’t got the time to stand looking at something wondering if one flavour is better than another.  Hopefully this will help keep the weight off and I won’t be reporting in a couple of months that my equatorial region has had an avalanche and expanded.  Don’t get me wrong I am still a lardy mass of wobbling fat, but a slightly smaller one than a couple of weeks ago.  There is a lot of work still to be done.

20190611_130352 “Filming outside work, this was all i could see.”

And Now For Something Completely Different……

There was another situation this week when I felt under pressure. Covering the car shouldn’t cause stress.  Even on a very windy day I can keep the cover under control while it blows around or inflates like a balloon.  The problem this week, I had an audience!

20190609_172132 “I wasn’t lying, the wind didn’t wind”.

As I walked to my friend’s car, another pulled up and parked directly outside.  The driver and I looked at each other for a millisecond.  After this I kept telling myself that I needed to get this right first time!  The last thing I wanted was to be the subject of a YouTube video which gets millions of views.  We’ve all seen them, someone filmed without their knowledge failing to do something.

20190528_095602 “Passed this beauty everyday this week”.

The car got covered without a hitch, i moving around the vehicle not allowing the wind to take over and make a fool of me.  Of course, after our eyes met for that moment, the parked drivers gaze was probably not on me at all.  I’m not that interesting after all! Maybe they were watching a video of a person failing to do something in spectacular style.  Either way that added pressure helped me to get the job completed quickly.

20190609_172600 “Interesting view at the lights”.

And Finally……

I used the expression “there’s no wriggle room” when talking about the fact that a payment date cannot be moved.  I have no idea where that expression came from!

Said very innocently “just going into the garden to crack one”.  My friend laughed and looked up.  I was holding a coconut and only going to break it open with a hammer.

20190609_181135 “Well within date, but rotten to the core.  A complaint has been lodged”.

A man walked past me (I was sitting) on the tube.  His finger briefly touched me, which gave me an electric shock.  Damn people and their superpowers.

Also, while on the tube at Kew Gardens, I got very excited as I thought Bill Oddie had stepped on board.  After peering down between people standing (probably looking like a fool), I realised it wasn’t my favourite Goodie and TV Naturist.  One day I’ll meet the great man.

20190612_230411 “Loving Springwatch, while writing this shiz”.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“Boa”, (2018).  “Click”, (TX: 08/06/19).  “DC: Swamp Thing”, (S1, ep 2).  “Ellie & Natasia”, (S1, ep 1).  “Fear The Walking Dead”, (S2, ep 4 to ep 15)(S3, ep 1 to ep 3).  “Incredibles 2”, (2018).  “Krypton”, (S2, ep 1).  “MISFITS”, (S3, ep 1 to ep 6).  “NOS4A2”, (S1, ep 2).  “Springwatch 2019”, (ep 9, TX: 10/06/19)(ep 10, TX: 11/06/19)(ep 11, TX: 12/06/19)(ep 12, TX: 12/06/19).  “The Last Leg”, (S10, ep 4, TX: 07/06/19).  “The Looming Tower”, (S1, ep 7 to ep 10).  “The Martian”, (2015).  “The Planets”, (S1, ep 3, TX 11/06/19).  “The Ranganation”, (S1, ep 4, TX: 09/06/19).  “The Sky At Night”, (ep 791, TX: 09/06/19).  “Year Of The Rabbit”, (S1, ep 1).  “Years And Years”, (S1, ep 5).     

This week I have mainly been listening to:  

“13 minutes To The Moon (BBC World Service)”, (S1, ep 5, 10/06/19).  “30 Animals That Made Us Smarter (BBC World Service)”, (S1, ep 12, 10/06/19).  “Buffy Speak”, (ep 1 & 2, 27/03/16)(ep 3, 04/04/16).  “Griefcast”, (ep 84, 12/06/19).  “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (11/06, 12/06, 13/06/19).  “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (07/06, 2x 11/06, 12/06, 13/06/19).  “In Poor Taste”, (107, 12/06/19).   “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (08/06, 14/06/19).  “Like Minded Friends”, (ep 2, 21/10/15).  “NASA: Gravity Assist”, (13/06/19).  “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 96, 14/06/19).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 145, 07/06/19).  “Strange Times”, (ep 305, 31/05/19)(ep 306, 08/06/19).  “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 96, 08/06/19).  “The All New Angelos And Barry Podcast: LIVE”, (10/06/19).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 82, 13/06/19).  “Morrissey”,  “The XX”,  “Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs”,  “John Grant”,  “The Sex Pistols”,  “Buffy The Vampire Slayer: The Album”,  “The Buffy The Vampire Slayer: Once More With Feeling (OST)”,  “The Rolling Stones”,  “The Kooks”, “U2”,  “Coldplay”,  “The Fratellis”,  “INXS”,  “Del Amitri”,  “Hepburn”,  “Lana Del Ray”.

    

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Week 259, Saturday 1st until Friday 7th June 2019.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East and West London, Surrey & Essex (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 259 Saturday 1st until Friday 7thJune 2019.

IMG_5830

Ive lost a stone in the last couple of weeks, yes you read that correct! The author of this ramble used to be a gargantuan lardy mass of wobbling fat making her way through the capital. However, at the time of writing I am just a lardy mass of wobbly fat living in an overcrowded metropolis. Clothes are already fitting better; some that have been out of bounds for the last few years can now be worn.

20190604_092039

“This man must have regretted taking the train, when he had a self balancing electric unicycle at his feet”.

If you have read this shiz over the last few years, you will be used to my whingeing, whining and moaning about the bulk that I carry around. There have been attempts to shift it, but never with any real conviction. With summer and a couple of family holidays on the horizon, I decided to pull my finger out and do something about the sorry state of this saggy sack the medical profession might call a body. Along with my friend I am now on a low carb diet. Don’t worry I didn’t really know what a one was, as with most people I knew what a calorie is. But a carbohydrate might as well be a new race of alien that the Doctor is going to fight in the new series next year. After some reading and understanding we started the diet.

20190601_173004

“A courgette (sort of) pizza and veg”.

For the last couple of weeks, I have been eating the following.

At work over the course of the morning, a small Marmite cheese, couple of small satsumas and a handful of small chunks of fresh coconut (at weekends, I’d have a small bowl of yogurt and fruit for brekkie).

Lunchtime at work would be a small amount noodles or salad (during weekends something small and healthy).

20190530_090351

“Missed my stop again, the waiting to go back to Earls Court was painful.

During the afternoon in the office, one nana, slice of melon. While sitting on the tube home I enjoy 22gms of mixed nuts (crushed to almost dust to make them last longer) and an Apple walking from the station.

In the evening a salad with Tofu or a stir-fry.

Throughout the day to keep me lubricated I’ll drink Tea, Fruit Teas, Water or diet fizzy pop.

20190602_224537
“Tofu and stuff”.

Compared to what I was eating before this is a big reduction, portion size has always been my downfall. During the working week I’m too busy to feel hungry; it’s weekends that are tough because I have the time to think about food. Shopping is a challenge when all the packets on the shelves are calling my name. Walking past these tasty treats is difficult especially when I think how I used to stuff or pour everything down my gullet without a thought.

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“I thought this was pretty (ish)”.

Every Sunday morning is the big weigh in. One stone for me is an achievement; it is maintaining this and continuing to lose more. Exercise needs to be incorporating into this routine. The last two weeks have been an adventure, sometimes it’s a little uncomfortable, but the results I am seeing make this worth it.

And Now For Something Completely Different……

20190602_020914

“Everyone was ready for quiz night”.

Along with MOZ I went to a quiz night that our friend Rachel invited us to last weekend. The evening consisted of 10 rounds of 10 questions including entertainment, general knowledge and politics. There was an extra round to be completed any time during the evening identifying film posters with the titles rubbed out.

20190601_191518

“Whats your speciality”.

Being on the diet was an issue as everyone had brought snacks and drinks with them. The healthy snacks I had brought were hidden out of view as much as possible. But that didn’t stop me enjoying the snacks others were munching vicariously.
The subjects I knew I would best contribute answers to were film / TV and entertainment in general. But towards the end of the evening it turned out I know far too much about the current political situation in the UK (I won’t mention the “B” word here!). I was more embarrassed about the fact I could answer those question than my strange collection of healthy snacks.

20190601_234734

“The scoring was more exciting than Eurovision“.

Once all the points had been totted up there was a tie of 90 points between Team Six and the Team Two, the one that I was on. The question setters hadn’t prepared for this, so a question had to be hastily researched. Due to it being sport related, I fell unconscious immediately but luckily there were others who knew the answer was 32 (the question is far too boring to repeat). All you need to know is Team Two won, for once in my life I was a winner (sort of). The bottle of wine I was given will be kept until later in the year, because as well as the diet I am dry at the mo.
Oh, I did speak to the organiser and correct them about an answer related to Doctor Who. The man wasn’t impressed!

20190601_191259

“The face of winners”.

And Finally……

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“Watching Dave and Mick on Top of the Pops, while writing this shiz”.

It’s not very funny, but I saw a man walk into a bollard, hitting his Bollocks. That will teach him to look where he is going and not concentrate on his small electronic device.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:
“Bowie At The BBC”, (TX: 13/01/17). “Chernobyl”, (S1, ep 5). “Click”, (TX: 01/06/19). “DC: Swamp Thing”, (S1, ep 1). “Fear The Walking Dead”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 6)(S2, ep 1 to ep 3). “Good Omens”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 4). “IZombie”, (S5, ep 5 & ep 6). “In The Dark”, (S1, ep 9 & ep 10). “Marvel’s: Cloak & Dagger”, (S1, ep 1). “MISFITS”, (S2, ep 5 & ep 6). “Monty Pythons Flying Circus”, (S1, ep 1 & ep 2). “NOS4A2”, (S1, ep 1). “Springwatch 2019”, (ep 5, TX: 03/06/19)(ep 6, TX: 04/06/19)(ep 7, TX: 05/06/19)(ep 8, TX: 06/06/19). “Springwatch 2019 (Facebook Live), (TX: 05/06/19). “The Graham Norton Show”, (S25, ep 9, TX: 31/05/19)(ep 10, TX: 07/06/19). “The Hot Zone”, (S1, ep 6). “The Kirlian Frequency”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 4)(S2, ep 1). “The Last Leg”, (S10, ep 3, TX: 31/05/19). “The Looming Tower”, (S1, ep 6). “The Planets”, (S1, ep 2, TX 04/06/19). “The Ranganation”, (S1, ep 3, TX: 02/06/19). “Victorian Sensations”, (S1, ep 2, TX: 29/05/19)(ep 3, TX: 05/06/19). “Wynonna Earp”, (S1, ep 3 to ep 5). “Years And Years”, (S1, ep 4).

This week I have mainly been listening to:
“13 minutes To The Moon (BBC World Service)”, (S1, ep 4, 03/06/19). “30 Animals That Made Us Smarter (BBC World Service)”, (S1, ep 11, 03/06/19). “Brian Gittens And Friends”, (ep 59, 31/05/19). “Griefcast”, (ep 83, 05/06/19). “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (05/06/19). “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (19/05, 30/05, 03/06, 05/06, 06/06/19). “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (06/06/19). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (01/06, 07/06/19). “Like Minded Friends”, (ep 1, 14/10/15)(ep 137, 01/06/19)(ep 138, 06/06/19). “NASA: Gravity Assist”, (06/06/19). “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 95, 07/06/19). “Rule Of Three: Season One, The Clip Show”, (09/08/18). “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 144, 31/05/19). “Strange Times”, (ep 304, 28/05/19). “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 95, 02/06/19). “The Nick Abbot Habit”, (31/05/19). “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 81, 06/06/19). “Morrissey”, “The Sundays”, “Keane”, “Patty Smith”, “Peter Bojan And John”, “The Concretes”, “The Smiths”, “Elton John”, “The Beatles”.

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