Week 242, Saturday 2nd until Friday 8th February 2019.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in Isle of Wight, Hampshire (Southampton), East and West London & Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 242 Saturday 2nd until Friday 8th February 2019.

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This week is an Isle Of Wight Special.

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Happy bady to George.

Tuesday to Friday this week I have felt very sad, this is because last weekend I visited the Isle of Wight and had a wonderful time. The reason for my visit was because a friend who I have known for decades was having a party to celebrate his bday.

IMG-f220a7dc1fa4906f0b71dd6ad0bf48a0-V “Dancing on Ice”.

There was a little sleet and snow on the way to Southampton, but this didn’t stop me from arriving in time for an earlier ferry. The journey is quick; as soon as I sat down (after mooching around, taking pictures inside and outside and of course spending money) it was time to return to the car to disembark. During the weekend it was mentioned a couple of times that people swim the Solent for charity. It’s something to think about as the ferry is not cheap. I’m a good swimmer, but I would be concerned about keeping the car afloat!

20190202_131802 20190202_171353 “Its pretty in the morning and early evening”.

The island of course is extremely pretty; this is particularly obvious when standing on top of one of the many hills looking out over land and sea. Some fields high up still had patches of snow from the recent bad weather, which only enhanced the surround beauty in my eyes.

20190202_122724 IMG-20190203-WA0005 “Sunshine and Snow”.

When I wasn’t pestering my friends or eating them out of house and home. I spent time on my own observing the rise and fall of the river Medina. Watching seagulls, ducks and pigeons doing what they do best for far too long! In Newport harbour there are a lot of very expensive boats, a number of them out of the water propped up precariously on blocks of wood in what would have been a car park. Plus, I might have spent time looking for a chip shop! Reading back this last paragraph, i realise how strange I really am and I deffo need to get a life.

20190203_140101 20190202_105431.jpg 20190203_125624 “Potato Ships”.

George’s party (which actually was a joint one with his mother-in-law also celebrating her bday) was a lot of fun. Especially because I met a fellow Whovian! How did I know that he was a fan, I hear you ask? This was very easy because we all carry something which proves our credentials as an enthusiast. He had a small Lego ® TARDIS while I swiftly produced my DWAS membership card. Seriously it was really nice chatting with someone younger who has as much love for Doctor who as I do. We continued to chat about Science Fiction in general while others danced to the “Birdie Song” and “Black Lace”. Though I will admit to singing (or screeching along to) loudly to the classic “Chicken song” by Spitting Image (you really had to be there!). The party was a great success, everyone left very happy.

IMG-20190202-WA0004 Screenshot_20190202-114522_Gallery “This little lady is 81 years old”.

Personal highlight was traveling on the islands railway. The trains were originally used on the London Underground and built in 1938, making them the oldest trains currently in use in the UK (thank you Wikipedia). During my next visit I want to travel the entire line, its only 8 stations so won’t take long. There will still be plenty of time afterwards to stare at seagulls, ducks and pigeons as well as eat chips.

20190202_115433 20190202_112508 “what a treat to see these old work horses”.

There was a thick mist over the Solent when I was due to leave, deep down I hoped that the ferry would be cancelled. Sadly the trip to Southampton was once again quick and efficient. Tuesday to Friday this week I have suffered so badly from post travel blues. Waking up early to travel on the tube or sitting in the office has made me do a lot of rethinking and sole searching about life. I get so much enjoyment from travelling. The answer of course is not to go anywhere, so that I am not affected by this disorder. But travel is very much part of my DNA. I have threatened my friends on the island that I will return after Easter. Maybe a farmer will let me pitch a tent in a field (the weather will be better then) where I could live a basic life (with wifi of course). Seeing that amazing view each day would be very relaxing. Deep down i like the idea of living an isolated existence.

Huge thank you to George and Fiona for inviting me to their little paradise, and putting up with me all weekend.

20190203_184001 “Thank you so much”.

And Finally……

20190202_193840 20190202_211145 “Party time”.

Spoke to a man who sounded just like comedian and writer David Walliams. Re-reading this confirms that I need proper content and have to find something to do with my life.

and

20190201_134724 20190201_135055 “Row, row, row the boat”.

A women speaking unnecessarily loudly on the train asked a friend what rhubarb taste like? The person she was speaking to was in Canberra, OZ. I visited Canberra in 1990 and saw the fabulous B-52’s live on stage. Luckily I was only on the train for one stop, so I never discovered how the taste of rhubarb was described.

IMG-20190201-WA0006 20190201_134656 “I see a sign, i have to”.

If you love rhubarb, crumble and custard and want to connect with others, please email

makeyourowncrumblenoonesgoingtomakeoneforyoulardyarse.coma.UcaKe

20190204_133929.jpg “Writing this shiz on the Solent”.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“Better Things”, (S2, ep 5).  “Catastrophe”, (S4, ep 5).  “Charmed (2019)”, (S1, ep 5).  “Click”, (TX: 02/02/19).  “Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them”, (2016)“Les Miserable”, (S1, ep 6).  “Mrs Brown’s Boys”, (2002).  “Only Fools And Horses”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 4).  “Star Trek: Discovery”, (S2, ep 3 & ep 4).  “Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope”, (1977).  “The Big Bang Theory”, (S4, ep 9 to ep 24)(S5, ep 1 to ep 24)(S6, ep 1 to ep 2).  “The Graham Norton Show”, (S24, ep ep 16, TX: 01/02/19).  “The Handmaids Tale”, (S2, ep 4 to ep 6).  “The Last Leg”, (S16, ep 2, TX: 01/02/19)(ep 3, TX: 08/02/19).  “The Orville”, (S2, ep 7).  “The Walking Dead”, (S4, ep 8 to ep 16).                    

This week I have mainly been listening to:  

“Anti Social Show (Hope, Instrumental 2019)”, 05/02/19).  “David Tennant Does A Podcast….”, (S1, ep 2, 05/02/19).  “Griefcast”, (ep 66, 06/02/19).  “Iain Lee (Bonus), (06/02, 07/02/19).  “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (31/01/19)(02/02, 04/02/19, 06/02 x 2, 07/02/19).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (07/02/18).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (01/02, 02/02, 08/02/19).  “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 78, 08/02/19).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 126, 01/02/19)(ep 127, 04/02/19).  “Strange Times”, (ep 289, 01/02/19).  “The All New Angelos & Barry Podcast”, (05/02/19).  “The Nick Abbot Habit”, (08/02/19).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 75, 07/02/19).  “Morrissey”,  “Jade Bird”,   “INXS”,  “Howard Jones”,  “Nik Kershaw”,  “Adam And The Ants”,  “Whigfield”, “Spitting Image”, “The Proclaimers”, The Beatles”.

    

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Week 241, Saturday 26th January until Friday 1st February 2019

Week 241, Saturday 26th January until Friday 1st February 2019.

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This weeks ramble is being edited (yes it really is edited!) and published from the Isle of Wight, so it may look a little different due to using a different device. I am visiting for a couple of days (trying to escape the “B” word **. Only joking! That’s impossible at the moment) all will be revealed in next weeks in blog week 242 (I bet you can’t wait).
That’s the over long unplanned intro, here’s the ramble……..

I am an electronic genus!!! My friends small electronic handheld device (not that type, you mucky pups!) decided to have a fit, it wouldn’t unlock. Trying to be helpful I suggested looking up the official website. Within a couple of minutes she was having a “live text chat” with an advisor (*** who I like to think was sitting in there bedroom playing video games and probably just wearing there pants). Whose only suggestion was to take the device to a store so it can be looked at by someone very clever person who probably has no friends. Which would more than likely result in her losing everything, especially all the pictures of our adopted hamster!

Once the useless chat was over, I opened my cavernous gob and uttered the phrase “have you pressed all the buttons at the same!”. Quite where that statement came from I have no idea. My friend who was clearly frustrated did just this and suddenly as if by magic (all small electronic devices are powered by rainbows and unicorns or so I have told my niece) the screen came to life in vivid bright colours. Why didn’t the advisor suggest something so simple? I am not a conspiracy nut, but by telling someone that need to visit a support centre which will more than likely result in them spending more money, when there was such a quick fix just seems wrong.

By the way my friend was very pleased that her small devise was vibrating happily to itself again (i still don’t mean that kind of device, yes I’m looking at you Davian).

And Now For Something Completely Different……

I am not competitive; it doesn’t matter if I come first or last. When I completed in a number of triathlons (yes you read that correct, I really have done 9 of them). I wasn’t racing others I just wanted to finish with my aging knees still attached. There is however one situation where I get a tad competitive. Stepping on to a tube every morning I scan the carriage for who is likely to get off allowing my lardy arse a rest from the pull of gravity which is dragging it towards the ground faster that Usain Bolt on a good day. At each stop there’s a primeval part of my brain willing the person sitting in front to stand up and let my derriere rest on the still warm fabric of the seat (the warmth from someone’s patootie **** is something I really dislike).

One journey this week, as normal I positioned myself in such a way that when/if the person in front stood up they could walk away easily as I lower my wide load onto the seat. This particular morning a small woman managed to squeeze herself through a gap in the crowd to stand next to me. Normally as a train pulls into a station the seated person gathers up bags and belonging which is an indication that I need to be ready. This morning the train slowed and nothing. Only when the doors had fully opened did the man suddenly stand up. As he stepped aside the women next to me in one fluid movement sat on my seat. Everything happened so quickly, I was furious and wished I could produce death ray’s from my eyes. My whole being ached feeling robbed of what should have been mine.

I really am not a competitive person. But when it comes to getting a seat on the train, let the games begin! From now on I need to up my game, be sharper on my feet and ready for any last minute attacks such as the one describe above. If you’re on the District line in the morning, be afraid, be very afraid!

And Finally……

Last Sunday afternoon it raining and the temp was 10c, in the distance a couple of times I could hear an ice cream van touting for business. Times are tough i realise, but are there really enough people rushing outside to buying a 99 from the roadside in late January.

P.S……

** If you didn’t guess the “B” word is of course “Brexit”, my head wants to explode and my heart sinks every time I hear it.

*** My apologies for the stereotypical comment (I’m a geek, and suppose I’m jealous of techy homeworking geeks).

**** This would make a great name for a Star Wars planet.
My Mid-Life Crisis Conts……
This week I have mainly been watching:

To follow…
This week I have mainly been listening to:

To follow….

 

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Week 240, Saturday 19th until Friday 25th January 2019.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East, West & North East London and Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 240 Saturday 19th until Friday 25th January 2019.

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Happy 7th Bday to Anoodle, this week.

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Everyone thinks that bankers, businesswomen/men, the government or in some people’s minds (whispering) the Illuminati are the people in power. Wrong! The people with power can be seen walking every street (certainly in the UK) or driving around in a red van. One of them has even been entertaining children on TV since 1981. The most powerful people (in my very unscientific opinion) are post women/men. I realise that in this digital age a person sitting in their parents’ house wearing just their pants can bring an organisation to its knees or make a government look foolish. But there activities generally don’t affect every day individual lives. However people walking around in shorts (most UK post-delivery people seem to wear shorts all year round) do appear to have the power to make normal people’s lives awkward.

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“Family celebrations”.
If you have read this shiz before you know I work in a call centre talking carp to people who would rather be picking their own (or other peoples in some cases) belly button than speak to me. The organisation I work for sends out hundreds of letters every day, some are just notifications, others reminders and finally there are red frightening ones. Once the sacks of mail have left the building its anyone’s guess when the letters will arrive at its final destination. Multiple times every day people say to me “I didn’t get any letters!” or “We have never had anything from you before, except this nasty letter!”.

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“8 candles for a 7 yr old”.
Ok back to my point about post men/women. I want to stop one of these red uniformed people and ask them about the secret heavily guarded (it must be) bunker where all the letters from my department end up (there must be bunkers all over the country for other large companies and utilities, full of undelivered letters). How does the postal employee decide which letter to post and which to conceal only to end up in a bunker unread. What special training did they have to go through to make this important decision? Talking about training, in late 2017 I applied for a number of postal delivery jobs (I look good in shorts and the walking would be good exercise. Think about it, how many large postal delivery people have you seen over the years!). The test seemed so complicated for what appears (of course in reality I know there’s a lot more to it) to be a relatively easy job. It’s probably easier to apply for a position with MI5/6 than to deliver letters. When I filled in the first online application, I thought I was being clever writing all the answers and the sequence of multiple choice options. I then discovered that the questions and the pattern of answers changed with every application. Damn you HR!

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“Even i was feeling chilly during this morning”.
Seriously, i sit in the call centre day after day thinking how strange (of course i am not suggesting that all customers are lying) that selective letters sent out don’t arrive at their final location. Letters do of course get lost, some come back returned but the majority do arrive correctly. The reality is that people either don’t open them or want to open them (my dept is a scary). There’s no conspiracy involving the Post Office and its army of men and women in shorts stomping up and down the streets in all weather, dodging adults (who should know better) on scooters racing for the tube. Or risking fingers with letter boxes a lot more vicious than dogs of the 70s and 80s. They do a tough job and can’t please everyone all of the time. I still maintain that postal delivery people are the power makers slipping good and bad news into your slot daily.

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“Bright moon on the way to work”.
However I have always had my suspicion about Pat, a postman who delivers letters and parcels around the idyllic village of Greendale with his cat Jess. I bet he deliberately hides Granny Drydens bills, no wonder she’s has to give away her belongings.

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“This waterway was partly frozen when i passed”.
And Finally……

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“I had a swinging time in North East London”.
Blonde moment of the week. Arriving home in the car, MOZ suddenly said looking at the empty driveway. Where’s the car?

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“This is a lovely room to hang upside down in”.
Magic moment of the week. Early on Sunday Arriving for Ariel yoga we saw a couple of people standing waiting for very large heavy gates to be unlocked. From the way they were talking they had been waiting a few minutes. Without thinking I pushed open a smaller gate that was set inside the larger one and stepped through as if I was David Copperfield walking through the Great Wall of China to the amazement of the people waiting.

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“You can just make out the large gate that was / wasn’t closed”
Retro TV moment of the week. Met a Jonathan Higgins. I really wanted to ask if he had dogs named Zeus and Apollo.

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“Aries picture of the week. What a beauty”.
Celebrity moment of the week. Spoke to a tennis player who was British number 1 in the 90s. I think he is a TV pundit these days.

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“Writing this shiz, while watching funny geeks”.
My Mid Life Crisis Conts……
This week I have mainly been watching:
“Catastrophe”, (S4, ep 3). “Charmed (2019)”, (S1, ep 3). “Click”, (TX: 19/01/19). “Dark Son: Hunt For A Serial Killer”, (TX: 12/01/19). “Frasier”, (S11 ep 20 to ep 24). “Laurel And Hardy: Way Out West”, (1937). “Laurel And Hardy: One Good Turn”, (1931). “Les Miserable”, (S1, ep 4). “Mary Poppins”, (1964). “Star Trek: Discovery”, (S2, ep 2). “Swimming With Men”, (2018). “The Big Bang Theory”, (S1, ep 7 to ep 17)(S2, ep 1 to ep 23)(S3, ep 1 to ep 5). “The Graham Norton Show”, (S24, ep 14, TX: 18/01/19)(ep 15, 25/01/19). “The Inbetweeners: Fwends Reunited”, (TX: 01/01/19). “The Last leg”, (S16, ep 1, TX: 25/01/19). “The Orville”, (S2, ep 4). “The Walking Dead”, (S3, ep 1 to ep 16).
This week I have mainly been listening to:
“Best Bad Movie Ever”, (22/01/19). “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (18/01, 21/01/19). “In Poor Taste”, (ep 102, 23/01/19). “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (25/01/18). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (19/01, 25/01/19). “Skeptoid”, (ep 659, 22/01/19). “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 124, 21/01/19). “The All New Angelos & Barry Podcast”, (21/01/19). “The Nick Abbot Habit”, (25/01/19). “Morrissey”, “Tindersticks”, “Portishead”, “The Cure”, “Toto”, “John Lennon”, “Mary Poppins (OST, 1964)”, “The Barenaked Ladies”, “P.J Harvey”.

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Week 239, Saturday 12th until Friday 18th January 2019.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East and West London & Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 239 Saturday 12th until Friday 18th January 2019.

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12th Jan would have been my Dad’s 90th D’day.
If you ask me what gives me the greatest pleasure I would reply, the cinema. As soon as I was old enough to visit the local fleapit on my own there was no stopping me. It was from these early visits that I discovered that the best seat in the house was middle of the front row. I love everything about the whole experience, the ads (I fondly remember Aunty Beryl from the Bacardi adverts) trailers and of course the main feature. Plus I am also one of those strange people who sit all the way through the end credits, and have been doing that long before it became fashionable just in case there might be a hidden scene.

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“Thanks Mum for everything”.
Even though going to the cinema is a pleasure, it is also a cause of stress. My internal cinematic stress-o-meter has different levels of stress and frustration.

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“Posh crisps, nana and a cheap roll. The perfect work snack”.
Yellow Alert: inconsiderate rustling of wrappers. People masticating loudly on snacks! A herd of Jersey cows would make less noise than fellow patrons.
Amber Alert: late comer’s (I realise it might not be there fault) disrupting my view walking back and forth in front of the screen. Then spending time faffing around folding coats, arranging bags. Kicking the back of my seat is really annoying; the continual thudding is a distraction I don’t need while the world is being destroyed before my eyes.

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“Such a sweet little lady”.
Red Alert: This include people who deicide to ignore the film and just talk to each other. These people must have so much money that they can afford to pay the high admission price and then completely ignore the feature. Then there are the addicts, people who cannot spent a couple of hours without looking at their small electronic device to see if they are liked and loved by people they haven’t met and probably won’t ever meet!

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“Deffo a film to go and see”.
My entertainment stress level builds to a Flashing Red Alert with internal Klaxon when the above categories clash. Recently my film buddy and I have been visiting a local indie cinema, it’s a little cheaper than the big names and rough around the edges but for the price I can’t complain (i try not to touch any surface, never put my bag on the floor and wait till i get home to go to use loo). Last weekend we saw “Stan and Ollie”. Just as the BBCF black card (which states the films certificate) appeared, a women and child stumbled upon the front row. Normally the front row and rows around are empty which is why I like sitting there. During the opening credits of the film, the women fussed around the kid who was old enough to fuss himself. Throughout the movie this lady would get up, asks if the child wanted food, was he warm enough and generally be a pain. I could also hear her explaining who Stan and Ollie were during key moments. At the end while music closely associated with these comedy heroes played over the credits (which of course I enjoyed) the women sat clapping as if she was at a panto. As you would expect I did try a number of times to shoot death rays out of my eyes. Unfortunately this is a super skill that needs a lot more practice to perfect.

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7.30am on Friday“.
Even though I get a little hot and bothered and stressed, I really enjoy everything about going to the cinema i just wish I could visit more often. The dream is one day to see something on the big screen that I had written and possibly directed. If that was to happen then I would hire the cinema to myself and of course I ensure not to trigger the Yellow Alert by eating snacks in a considerate way so I don’t annoy myself and so ruin my masterpiece. I’ll dream on, and just be tolerant of others and if things get worse then run for a usher or manger. Then of course I would need the film to be rewound slightly to see the section I missed. Who’s annoying now!

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And Finally……

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“Someone had a big night out!”.
Mistakenly said. Person on the phone called the executors of an estate, the executioners.
And now, innuendo. Overheard a women in the supermarket talking about Bottom Muffins, this of course made me smile and snigger as if I was at school. A few mins later I realised that I had egg on my face when i saw what she was looking at, a packet of Bottom Muffins.
After that filth, a sad tale. Early morning at Earls Court tube, I sat down next to a mother and child, who got up and boarded there train which left straight away. As the tube sped out of the platform a man sat down and picked up a small cuddly toy, that child must have dropped.

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“Writing this shiz, while thinking of Zombies”.
My Mid Life Crisis Conts……
This week I have mainly been watching:
“Better Things”, (S1, 3 to ep 10). “Catastrophe”, (S4, ep 2). “Charmed (2019)”, (S1, ep 2). “Click”, (TX: 12/01/19). “Frasier”, (S10 ep 11 to ep 24)(S11 ep 1 to ep 19). “Les Miserable”, (S1, ep 3). “Peppa Pig”, (S2, ep 19 & ep 20). “Stan And Ollie”, (2019). “Stan Against Evil”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 8). “Star Trek: Discovery”, (S2, ep 1). “Tracey Beaker Returns”, (S3, ep 6). “The Big Bang Theory”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 6). “The Graham Norton Show”, (S24, ep 13, TX: 11/01/19). “The Last Kingdom”, (S3, ep 1 & ep 2). “The Orville”, (S2, ep 3 & ep 4). “The Sky At Night”, (TX: 13/01/19). “The Walking Dead”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 6)(S2, ep 1 to ep 13). “Woolly Mammoth Secrets From The Ice”, (TX: 04/04/12).
This week I have mainly been listening to:
“Best Bad Movie Ever”, (27/03/18). “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (14/01, 16/01, 17/01/19). “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (11/01, 14/01, 16/01, 17/01/19). “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (17/01/18). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (12/01, 18/01/19). “Rule Of Three”, (24/05/18)(14/06/18)(18/10/18)(22/11/18). “Skeptoid”, (ep 657, 08/01/19)(ep 658, 15/01/19). “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 123, 14/01/19). “The Nick Abbot Habit”, (18/01/19). “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 78, 17/01/19). “Morrissey”, “Biffy Clyro”, “The Stone Roses”, “The Pretenders”, “Bowie”, “Chris Cornell”, “The Devine Comedy”.

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Week 238, Saturday 5th until Friday 11th January 2018

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East and West London, Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 238 Saturday 5th until Friday 11th January 2019.

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The season of good will or for the festival of excessive drunkenness and over eating has definitely ended.  In the capital during the few weeks of old stringy tinsel and sparklingly lights (which could be a health hazard if looked at for too long) people seemed to be in a better mood.  There are a number of reasons in my opinion for this, none of which have been scientifically researched (of course).

DSCF3231.JPG “A thing the shape of a Mushroom.  Or a Mushroom shaped like a thingy”.

“People could have been happier because of”.

1/ The amount of food and drink consumed!

2/ Extra sleep!  Due to being on holiday, people didn’t have to wake up day after day before sparrow fart!

3/ Not travelling on public transport, or sat in traffic jams!  Both really do not help with commuter’s general mood.

DSCF3326.JPG “Something is eating this birdfeeder”.

I did warn you that none of the above had been thought through.

That period is the only time of the year you will really see strangers smiling at each other on the tube. Everyone’s general attitude towards each other did seem to improve.

20181219_211148 “Fancy a glass of Badass”.

However at the end of the first full week of this New Year, I sadly report that everything has returned to how it was before the recent mass wrapping of odd shaped gifts. Travel on the tube and you will see faces staring at tablets, books or just asleep. No one will look at anyone unless they really have to.  Look down any supermarket queue you will see people muttering and tutting under there breathe because someone is taking a few seconds longer than they should.  On the road you will see selfishness everywhere.  Innocent cars being forced against their will to undertake or cut in at the last moment, only to end up stuck directly in front at the lights. Take your headphones or earbuds out/off while walking and you will hear drivers all around venting their frustration publicly.  Last weekend I was stuck in traffic for possibly a minute (not much more).  One person decided they couldn’t possibly wait a moment longer and sounded the horn, this spread like a virus as others joined in. Within seconds a chorus of annoyance could be heard all around.  I understand that everyone is in a hurry (I am, always) and need to be somewhere “Now“.  But! Come one people; let’s just be nice to each other.  Wouldn’t it be great if in 2019 humans were considerate to others, is that such a radically strange idea (if this makes me sound like a hippy, then I’ll gladly put flowers in my hair, wear a cheesecloth dress while dancing barefoot in a field).

20190109_200047(0).jpg “Larry, Curly and Moe”.

I’m not the biggest Crimbum fan, but if flashing lights and decorations badly taped to walls in homes, shops and offices helps calm the general attitude of the population then I’m all for it. We don’t have to do the whole prezzie thing or watch “The Wizard of Oz” or “The Sound of Music” all the time”.  If the thought of an obese stranger in a red suit breaking into people’s homes in the middle of the night helps them to feel more relaxed then I’m game.  While I think about this, I wonder if the nation’s bosses would allow everyone a little extra time off every week, surely they want happy employees, who enjoy their work.  Not getting political here, considering what is currently happening in the UK, I would have thought that some companies might like to spread what work they have over a longer period allowing worker more leave and relaxation time (Now you understand why I don’t manage people or run a business with mad ideas like that) which could result in happier, less rushed or stressed people.

20190110_091757.jpg “Seen at Clapham Jct station”.

In conclusion, its official the season of goodwill is well and truly over.  However I am going to try over the next 51 weeks to smile more.  This could make another person smile, which in turn might lead to others smiling (doesn’t smiling even if you feel like shiz, releases good feeling chemicals).

And Now For Something Completely Different……

20190109_184641 “The dancing Wookie”.

A final mention, about public transport this week.  Look around trains and stations; you will see two types of adverts dominating all others.  One teases far off paradises that could visited in summer.  While others make passengers feel extremely guilty about (possible) extra weight gained recently.  I’ll let you guess which ones I try to ignore while sucking in my ever expanding equatorial region.

20190110_082138 “The Turner prize goes to….”.

And Finally……

Sitting in a corporate coffee shop, I couldn’t put the lid of my flask on due to an excessive amount of cream (now you can know which ad mentioned above, I was looking at).  Of course I licked the cream until the lid would comfortably screw on.  That’s when I became aware of being watched.  A small child was looking and smiling at this strange cat licking so-called adult.

20190107_094812 “Getting my tongue right in there”.

Oh,

I have also submitted another article to DWAS Celestial Toyroom magazine, fingers crossed.

DSCF3411.JPG “Trying to write this shiz, while Eric and Ern distracting me”.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“Better Things”, (S1, Pilot/ep 1, ep 2).  “Catastrophe”, (S4, ep 1).  “Charmed (2019)”, (S1, ep 1).  “Click, Best of 2018”, (TX: 05/01/19).  “Doctor Who”, (S1, Serial 2, ep 3 to ep 5).  “Frasier”, (S8 ep 11 to ep 22)(S9, ep 1 to ep 22)(S10, ep 1 to ep 10).  “Horizon, 2016: Wildest Weather In The Universe”, (2016, ep 6, TX: 23/10/16).  “How Not To Die”, (S1, ep 1, TX: 03/01/19).  “Island Of Dreams”, (Pilot, TX: 03/01/19).  “Kate Bush At The BBC”, (TX: 22/08/14).  “Les Miserable”, (S1, ep 2).  “Midnight Texas”, (S1, ep 5 to ep 10)(S2, ep 1 to ep 9).  “Semi-Detached”, (Pilot, TX: 04/01/19).  “Storyville Waco: Madman Or Messiah”, (pt 1, TX: 02/01/19)(pt 2, TX: 03/01/19).  “The Graham Norton Show: Good Story Guide”, (TX: 04/01/19).  “The Morecombe And Wise Show: The Lost Tapes”, (ep 1, TX: 16/10/68)(ep 2, TX: 30/09/68).  “Tracey Beaker Returns”, (S1, ep 6).  “You”, (S1, ep 7).                

This week I have mainly been listening to:  

“Brian Gittens And Friends”, (ep 49.75, 05/01/19).  “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (09/01/19).  “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (04/01, 07/01, 08/01, 09/01, 10/01/19).  “In Poor Taste”, (ep 101, 08/01/19).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (10/01/18).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (05/01, 11/01/19).  “Rule Of Three”, (10/05/18).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 122, 07/01/19)(EE Rising Stars Special, 04/01/19).  “Strange Times”, (ep 286, 05/01/19).  “The All New Angelos And Barry Show”, (11/01/19).  “Morrissey”, “Bowie”, “The Zutons”, “Franz Ferdinand”, “The Killers”.

     

 

 

 

 

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Week 237, Saturday 29th Dec 2018, until Friday 4th Jan 2019.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East and West London (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 237 Saturday 29th December 2018, until Friday 4th January 2019.

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Happy bday on January 1st to my lovely brother-in-law Tim.

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By the time you read this 2018 will be just a dirty memory, we can all forget what “may or may not” have happened during the last 365 days. There are definitely a number of things I don’t want to remember!

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“World domination”.

This week’s blog is a short ramble, no ones in any condition to read my normal moaning so I thought I would go over the stats for the last year. In the last 12 months there were 1772 views from 980 visitors living in 39 countries across 5 continents. That’s an increase of 228 views and 98 visitors on the total 2017 figure. I realise that these numbers are extremely small compared to other blogs, which get thousands of views every week. But for this insignificant weekly ramble written by an idiot, they made me smile. I am so grateful to everyone who has read or looked at this, and if you pressed share then then I love you even more** (** love mentioned is purely platonic). Originally I thought about looking back at the last 52 weeks and pick out a few highlights, however I soon came to realise that I couldn’t think of any s it’s been a non-eventful year. Unless you know better, then please contact!

screenshot_20190104-235426_wordpress screenshot_20190104-235515_wordpress “A full breakdown of the countriesand number of views”.

Ifyouexpectmetolookthroughthisshiztofindtheoddgemyouhaveanotherthingcomingyoulazylardycow@dietcoke.UcaKe

There is a way that “you” can stop this rot continuing, if I am paid enough** (** that figure is still to be arranged). I will throw the keyboard out of the window of the highest tower block in the capital and none of us ever need to mention this pathetic display of so-called creative writing ever again. And that’s a promise!

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“Travelling on the train, id rather be on the river (look closely)”.

And Now For Something Completely Different……

One of the last things I did in 2018 was to nearly injure a new acquaintance. He stupidly asked “ME” to help construct a piece of flat pack exercise equipment. My plan is to use the machine now and then in order to attempt to lose some additional MMXVIII baggage that I appear to have accidentally picked up over the last 12 months.

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“Spot the wildlife living at the station. Its always lovely seeing members of this family”.

After an hour of pushing, shoving and screwing we stood back both proud of the results. That soon ended when he climbed on the trainer and it started to tip backwards. Luckily for him the wall stopped him from falling to the floor and the machine on to him. Unluckily for me it ruined my chance of £250 “You’ve Been Framed” money, because I was filming at the time of the incident.

20181231_215419 20190102_215239 “Can you guess which is wrong and right”.

I’ll have to find a better way of making some extra cash (no, I didn’t incorrectly positioned the exercise machines feet the wrong way round on purpose) over the next year.

20190102_000851.jpg “Thanks Anoodle”.

Oh, Happy New Year….

dscf3403 “Jodie staring at me while i write this shiz”.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:

“A Year In The Life Of A Year 2018”, (TX; 27/12/18). “Big Fat Quiz of The Year 2018”, (TX: 26/12/18). “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang”, (1968). “Click, LIVE”, (TX: 29/12/18). “Click & Collect”, (TX: 24/12/18). “Doctor Who: Resolution”, (TX: 01/01/19). “Frankie Boyles 2018 New World Order”, (TX: 27/12/18). “Frasier”, (S6 ep 13 to ep 23)(S7, ep 1 to ep 23)(S8, ep 1 to ep 10). “Ghoutbusters II”, (1989). “Goodness Gracious Me: Crimbum Special”, (TX: 23/12/98). “Groundhog Day”, (1993). “Les Miserable”, (S1, ep 1). “Madness Rocks Big Ben Live”, (pt 1, TX: 31/12/18)(pt 2, TX: 01/01/19). “Midnight Texas”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 6). “Mrs Browns Boy’s 2018 Crimbum Special”, (ep 2, TX: 01/01/9). “No Activity The Night Before Crimbum”, (TX: 27/12/18). “Oliver”, (1968). “Only An Excuse 2018”, (TX: 31/12/18). “Peter Kay’s Car Share”, (S2, ep 1 to ep 4, Unscripted ep & The Final). “Regression”, (2015). “Royal Institution Crimbum Lecture 2018”, (ep 3, TX:28/12/18). “The Best Of Dick Emery”, (BBC DVD, 2005). “The Crystal Maze; Crimbum Celebrity 2018 Special”, (26/12/18). “The Graham Norton Show”, (S24, ep 12, TX: 21/12/18)(New Years Eve, TX: 31/12/18). “The Great New Year’s Bake Off: Festive Special 2018”, (ep 2, TX: 01/01/9). “The Orville”, (S2, ep 1). “The Last Leg of The Year”, (S15, ep 11, TX: 31/12/18). “Van Helsing”, (S3, ep 13). “Twinstitute”, (S1, ep 1, TX: 02/01/19).

This week I have mainly been listening to:

“Anti Social Show”, (ep 66, 30/12/18). “Clinton Baptiste’s Paranormal Podcast”, (ep 6, 01/01/19). “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (03/01/19). “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (21/12, 31/12/18)(01/01, 02/01, 03/01/19). “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (03/01/18). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (29/12,30/12, 31/12/18)(01/01, 02/01, 03/01, 04/01/19). “Rule Of Three”, (11/10/18). “Skeptiod”, (ep 656, 01/01/19). “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 121, 31/12/18). “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 71, 03/01/19). “Morrissey”, “Sophie B Hawkins”, “Alanis Morissette”, “Foo Fighters”, “The Beatles”, “Kate Bush”, “S.I.A”, “Madness”.

 

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Week 236, Saturday 22nd until Friday 28th December 2018.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East London and Northamptonshire (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 236 Saturday 22nd until Friday 28th December  2018.

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The Crimbum special. You’ll be so pleased that this ramble is a lot shorter than normal, it’s more a collection of thoughts.

IMG-20181224-WA0000 “Hope you had a good time”.

This week I have been most thankful for not travelling on public transport and sitting in an office, talking carp on the phone to people who really don’t want to be speaking to me. If I am completely honest I don’t want to be speaking to them either. It’s a mutual relationship.

Lesson learned over the last 7 days, never mix hair dye in a bedroom.

20181224_143006 “Opps”.

Occasionally outside of the tube station near me, I see a man and his dog. Foolishly on Crimbum eve I popped to the shops which of course i regretted when confronted by thousands of others regretting that they had ventured out. While out I decided to try and do some good, by buying some sandwiches and dog treats. Once back at the tube station, the one man and his dog has gone. I popped back up a couple of times just in case he was back. Deep down I am glad that he wasn’t sitting in his normal position, hopefully he and the dog were somewhere warm and happy. I will get a few more sandwiches and hand over the dog treats in the new year. The amount of people currently homeless is increasing from what I have read. Not getting political I think 2019 is only going to get worse.

20181225_164409 No wonder fares increase, all the lights on at a closed locked up Tube station on Crimbum day”. 

This Crimbum I received the gift that keeps giving, a cold. Damn you Santa you basket! The last few days I have spent a huge amount of tme in bed, feeling even more sorry for myself than I normally do. When family members should have been admiring my freshly dyed hair, especially after the mess I made at home (sorry MOZ).

20181226_162233 The carnage started at Grandmas”.

And that’s it, after weeks, even months of preparing for one day of madness it’s all over. However the thought of so-called normality which starts all over again next Monday is something I really am trying not to think about. This might be the right time to hide under mums duvet and hope that no one notices me. Is there anyone reading this shiz who might like to put me out of my misery if so please contact.

20181225_213038 “MOZ enjoy a few days off work”.

ireallyneedtogetoffmylardyarseandmake2019countasihavewastedthelast50year.coke.ucake

Next week will continue to be a shorter ramble as I look back at 18 and forward to 19.

thumbnail_Screenshot_20181228-154538_Word “Writing this shiz, sort of“.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“Blackadder Goes Forth”, (S1, ep 1 & ep 2).  “Cbeebies Bedtime Story”, (Ep 671, TX: 17/12/18).  “Chris & Michaela: Under A Crimbum Sky”, (TX: 23/12/18).  “Click(mass)”, (TX: 22/12/18).  “Elf”, (2003).  “Father Ted”, (S2, ep 5 to ep 7).  “Flatliners”, (2017).  “Frasier”, (S5, ep 10 to ep 24)(S6, 2 to ep 12).  “Front Row Late”, (S3, ep 9, TX: 21/12/18).  “Goodness Gracious Me: 20 Years Innit!”, (TX: 22/12/18).  “Have I Got 2018 News For You”, (TX: 24/12/18).  “Inside The Factory: Crimbum, 2018”, (17/12/18).  “King Gary”, (pilot ep, TX: 23/12/18).  “Lost Hearts, (TX: 25/12/1973).  “Michael Palin In North Korea: Special Edition”, (TX: 27/12/18).  “MR James: The Ash Tree”, (TX: 23/12/1975).  “Mrs Browns Boy’s 2018 Crimbum Special”, (ep 1, TX: 25/12/18).  “Not Going Out, Live”, (TX: 21/12/18).  “Peter Kay’s Car Share”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 6)(A Crimbum Car Chase, 2017).  “Royal Institution Crimbum Lectures 2018”, (ep 1, TX: 26/12/18)(ep 2, 27/12/18).  “Star Wars: Episode VI: The Return Of The Jedi”, (1983).  “The Apprentice: Honest Subtitles”, (S4, ep 12, 16/12/18).  “The Dead Room, A Ghost Story For Crimbum,”, (TX: 24/12/18).  “The Crimbum Last Leg”, (S15, ep 10, TX: 21/12/18).  “The Crimbum Misadventures Of Romesh Ranganathan”, (TX: 20/12/18).  “The Graham Norton Show”, (S24, ep 12, TX: 21/12/18).  “The Great British Bake Off: Festive Special 2018”, (ep 1, TX: 25/12/18).  “The Jonathan Ross Crimbum Special”, (S13, ep 15, TX: 22/12/18).  “The Secret Story Of The BBC Crimbum Tapes”, (TX: 23/12/18).  “Travelman 96hrs in Jordan”, (TX: 27/12/18).  “Upstart Crow: A Crow Crimbum Carol”, (TX: 25/12/18).  “Van Helsing”, (S3, ep 12).               

This week I have mainly been listening to:  

“Brian Gittens And Friends”, (ep 49.5,24/12/18).  “Brian & Roger (Crimbum Special)”, (24/12/18).  “Chasing Earhart”, (ep 69, 23/12/18).  “Clinton Baptiste’s Paranormal Podcast”, (ep 5, 24/12/18).  “Griefcast”, (ep 65, 26/12/18).  “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (21/12/18).  “Jo Whiley Meets Jodie Whitaker”, (BBC Radio 2, TX: 25/12/18).  “In Poor Taste”, (ep 100, 22/12/18).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (22/12, 23/12, 24/12, 25/12, 26/12, 27/12, 28/12/18).  “Rule Of Three, Crimbum Special”, (ep 1, 23/12/18)(ep 2. 25/12/18).  “Skeptiod”, (ep 655, 24/12/18).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 120, 24/12/18).  “The Adam Buxton Podcast, Crimbum Speical”, (ep 88, TX: 25/12/18). “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 70, 22/12/18).  “Strange Times”, (ep 285, 23/12/18)(Shamus O’Coont Guide To Surviving Crimbum, 26/12/18) “Morrissey”, “The Darkness”, “Ash”, “Starship”, “Slade”, “The Waitresses”, “The pretender”, “East 17”, “Cyndi Lauper”, “Nancy Sinatra”.

     

 

 

 

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