Misfits Mid-Life Crisis……..

Misfits Mid Life Crisis Adventures in ………….. Mozambique.

Week 22, Saturday 15 to Friday 21 November 2014.

This week I have mainly been listening to…..   Sophie B Hawkins, Eminem, Kate Bush, Amy Winehouse,

And have been watching…. Fringe (Season 2 & 3), Atlantis (Season 2, eps 1), Knocked up, Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues.

And reading…… Morrissey autobiography (again)

Saturday, my day off and a very hot day it was. I didn’t really leave the house apart from stand on the porch and watch the sea. I spent a lot of time looking out of the kitchen window at 2 cats asleep by next doors water tank. Jenny had mentioned a bird with red on it, today I saw it and have been informed by Tofo answer to Bill Oddie (the lovely Frida) it’s a male scarlet chested sunbird, I watched it for ages fluttering from flower to flower, its very much like a humming bird putting it’s long beak in to the flower. Apart from that i watched episode after episode of Fringe. I did get a lovely phone call from Michael one of the DMT’s who was drinking with a group of really nice people that we dived with this week asking if I wanted a drink, I should have gone, I didn’t. Today was an epic day of nothingness.

Sunday, was woken up at 1am by thunder and lightning, it was an impressive storm visually and audio wise. We were warned the weather could get worse from today. It’s rained pretty much all day.   The sea in the bay was bizarrely flat very flat meaning that the launch and landing were easy. The further we went the bigger the waves, it felt worse due to the wind and the rain. And it was the rain that was the real problem it hits your face like needles, the spray and the rain meant I was blind in one eye while rubbing the other to see (in fact buy the end of the day I noticed that the eye I had closed is a little infected the upper lid is a slightly swollen). 2 nice dives, one to a new site for me called “Table top”, it’s very flat but there are no tables. On the way to the site we were treated to a Humpback and calf, my first in 2 weeks and probably the last I will see this year, I hope I’m in Tofo when they return next year. I have such happy memories of wonderful encounters with Humpbacks and calf’s since June. The second dive was to “Mikes Cupboard”, highlight was a sea snake wriggling on the sea bed. I Skyped with both sisters this evening which was very nice (and watched episode 1 of new Atlantis…. Still a geek). On a sad not Suunto one of the new dive shop owners puppies passed away last night, very sad and upsetting, he brought a lot of love to the centre those few days he was there. His brother PADi is also not well, but clinging on, fingers crossed.

Monday, I woke up early and found that the internet dongle is not working again, it’s almost a month since it failed last time…… bugger. It worked perfectly well last night for skype and normal net stuff. Maybe the computer is rebelling after I made it show Atlantis eps 1 of new season… got to watch this technology (Skynet….. Terminator anyone????). It has rained all day, it’s windy and to be honest its chilly, yes I took my jacket as I didn’t want to look too out of place (it’s like at home in winter I carry a jacket but don’t wear it often coz I’m hot all the time), this is the most rain I have experienced here. We set up for an early morning dive, but it was soon called off due to the weather. As a result i carried on painting first the cupboard then a large map of the area on the wall. I mentioned last week that painting on walls is new to me but I really enjoy it, this map is artier then doing then the pre designed Logo as I could make changes and adjustments (who would really notice). I was working off a satellite picture of the area; one problem is I was limited to a few colours Yellow, Orange, Black, White and Turquoise. I will try to finish it tomorrow. On a wet weather day like this we should have games like in school (because you couldn’t go in the playground). Carlos my computer friend came round but after a couple of hours has failed this time to sort the dongle out, he has taken it away and will return tomorrow fingers crossed. TOFO Summer nature watch continues, I found a tiny scorpion in my bathroom just before I was going to take a shower, I took picture of it with a 500 met note for scale, I managed to get it tin a glass and tipped it outside.  More sad news today, PADi the puppy passed away last night, it would appear that both of them were already ill, it’s very sad and upsetting  I don’t think anymore could have been done, there were no signs that they were ill before they started to get weak towards the end of last week.

Tuesday, apart from dark clouds and lots of wind I started the day seeing one of next doors cats in there tree house by the water tank, laying on a corner all cuddled up attempting to keep dry and warm. I rushed to get the camera and guess what it had moved to the other side, it was obviously not really that comfortable after all. Had a text from the bosses to say that I (we) didn’t have to come in till 9 which was nice. When I got in I found out that we weren’t going to launch due to weather (though poor Nadia ended up in the pool all day… brrrr cold), so I did more painting made place name stencils for the map I must look up about stencils as paper ones are really not good, they flood and leak and absorbs the paint, after cutting out the words and painting and touching up it looks ok. My next project was to paint a Humpback on the front of the counter, however i got a little paint happy (carried away) due to the fumes I think, as I ended up doing Mantas, Devil Rays, Whale Shark, Dolphin and Turtles as well as the humpback, all the major marine life that people come to Tofo to see. In the evening I went to Martina again. BREAKING NATURE news, there seems to only be 2 nests now (there were 4 last week, but it was tough to see as it was dark). Martina made lovely food and then did my nails while we watched Knocked up. Due to the fact that the gel came off so quickly last week Martina really made sure that the nails were cooked (you put your fingers under a UV lamp) well. Went to bed with dragon fire coloured (red) nails, I’m a tramp….

Wednesday, the weather has cleared its sunny and we have white clouds again. On the way to the dive site we saw Humpback again, this MUST be the last of the season, still great to see, “never bored of a Humpback”. First dive to Giants and I saw a huge reef manta so happy, it turns out there was another but I didn’t see this as I was on the drop with a customer at the time. During the decent when I breathed in at one point I swallowed a mouthful of sea water, it’s as if my regulator sucked in the water as I breathed in, I was not worried as I breathed out straight away and purged my reg, also I could have used my alterative reg. If it happens again maybe I will need to do something. The second dive was to the mighty salon a shallow site, the lovely Anna a fellow DM lead and I borrowed a camera so I hope I got some nice shots, a gentle relaxed dive. Saw a hermit crab (I think it was) with yellow legs with spiky looking black hairs, very strange looking. During the afternoon while the others were on a rescue training dive I continued to painting with gloves (from when I dyed my hair) to protect my nails (I was under orders by Martina to use gloves). I did second coats on the silhouettes of marine life and the cupboard. Satu (one of the bosses) has asked me to paint another wall will think up idea’s. Tried to get cat food this evening but the only supermarket in town (it’s not in town its near) was closed, and I tried to get money out of the cashpoint at the petrol station nothing. I have managed to borrow some cat food from Chris it meant I got to see his kittens (all three are so sweet).   Michael a DMT has also had probs with money, were with the same bank so fingers crossed that I can draw some out in Inhambane, otherwise I have 500mets (£10.00) to my name. Sunday I did get my first payment for DM work (woo hoo) but that’s gone on getting the computer sorted and paying for net credit. So I do need to get money out…. Fingers crossed. BREAKING NEWS, Alice Cooper came back today, and hung about for a while being quite sociable, so good to see Alice back at Liquid.

Thursday, a beautiful morning walking to the shop, not too cold, not too hot just right. I was on shop all day today so I didn’t dive or Ocean Safari, but it did mean I got to carry on with the dive site maps. I haven’t done much about them the last couple of weeks due to the painting so today I spent working on them, there are 15 or more maps to be produced. Michael and I took the Green Dragon (the very old TOP Gear style African Land rover, nothing works on the dash and the driver door doesn’t close you have to use string or your elbow), I drove it to the petrol station to get deasil. Michael drove it back, so rickety and rusty but lots of fun (yesterday I drove my bosses automatic to collect one of his sons, 2^nd time driving an auto very nice) Good news I have money it must be something to do with the cash point at the petrol station and Jemima also has cat food thanks to the lovely Chis.

Friday, I have to admit the highlight was rubbing after sun in to Mike’s bald patch, lol. There were other highlights if I’m honest. Went on a double tank, a dolphin passed us on the way to the first dive site. At Manta reef we had a Turtle on the surface as we were kitting up for the drop, however nothing big seen on the dive. But at Simons Town a cheeky reef manta sneaked up on us, Johnny pulled my fin I turned around and there it was next to me a couple of metres away. Slowly everyone saw this quite small manta pass by so lovely. On the way back we came across 2 whale sharks, I actually only saw one (I missed the other as I faffed about getting in the water). I also had a small bout of sea sickness as we were coming back, first in a month or so. Lunch was chicken and chips at Rasta’s very nice but takes a long time to be prepared, worth it though. I closed up the dive shop all very quiet here in Tofo, but things will liven up later as people hit the Hotel. I’m due to Skype with my sister later which will be nice. Not sure when Jenny is back from SA might be over the weekend; I’ve eaten all her lasagna and the cheese cake she left…..oops.

End of what is a perfect Tofo week, Humpbacks (waving goodbye to them), Manta, Whale Sharks, Dolphins and Turtles, what other reason is there to come to Tofo…. The adventure continues….

Misfits Mid Life Crisis Adventures in ………….. Mozambique.

Week 21, Saturday 8 to Friday 14 November 2014.

This week I have mainly been listening to….. Alanis Morissette, Sophie B Hawkins, Morrissey, all on repeat.

And have been watching…. Doctor Who “Death in Heaven” (Season 8/34 eps 12),The Apprentice (season 10 eps 5 & 6), Citizen Khan (season 3, eps 2), Not Going Out (eps 4), Fringe (Season 2, eps 11, 12 & 13).

Saturday, first proper night over at the new house “Casa Jenny” all good, we went out and about last night and had a few drinks… A small problem was feather pillows, will change pillows)…. Saturday was a decorating day (again), however we have dives taking place as well so there were people lugging dive gear, dripping wet in amongst people painting and moving things about. I have the projector again; I’m hoping to do some Bankys style stencils of the logo. This evening it was Anna and Louis Snorkel test, tonight they became DM buy dropping the T, it was also a goodbye from the previous owners and a hello from the new owner’s meal. Anna and Louis snorkel test was very funny, I think it’s safe to say Anna won the drinking down the snork (soz Louis). Because the white board pen failed, Nadia came up with a great idea that Anna and Louis mime the briefing went very well very funny.

Sunday we were all allowed to have a little lie in, after my shower found that breakfast had been made. A lovely man called Gilbert (he works for the landlord of the house I’m in,, has been staying here for a couple of nights). He had made brekkie so nice; I should mention that Jenny left in early morning to go to South Africa for a couple of weeks. Anyway had a lovely breakfast then attempted to drive to Liquid in Jenny’s car, so glad had Gilbert with me as the car has a immobiliser (a sort of clitoris type hidden button) I could find it (story of my life… lol) and the car bleared its alarm in the early Sunday morning waking Tofo up the car was stuck in the middle of a sand road. I won’t be trying that again (oh Gilbert managed to start the car and got it home before the alarm went again). Been attempting to stencil the logo on to the black surf boards and use spray paint on them, it’s not easy I don’t know how Banky does it’s. In the end I had to use normal white paint brushed over the stencils, it looks messy and has blobs of stray paint. Once they were dry I did touch ups with a fine brush. Gilbert and I had pizza, I skyped and watched new WHO while he was out getting food. Showed him on Street view Sutton and we looked up his old London address which brought back many memories.

Monday, started to walk to Liquid, and then got beeped by a Diversity (another dive company) car, I jumped in the back holding on sitting on the wheel arch. Dropped off at the dive shop and realised I didn’t have the computer, so I walked the 15mins back home and sure enough it was on the table, grabbed it said hello to Martha the housekeeper and rushed out again, I just made it in time for 7am to open. The day was spent painting, I have been touching up logos on the goth boards and doing large versions on benches, I also painted a whale shark and manta on the rinse tanks. I have looked in the Market for fine paint brushes, couldn’t find any but I did get some cotton buds, have been using them, they don’t last after a few dips in the paint they start to fall apart, but there useful. Going home I passed Martina’s house ( I was returning Frieda’s projector) anyway as I passed Martina house she appeared. Ohhh BREAKING NEWS….. The weaver birds have 4 nests instead of 2 (last week), the 4^th is still being built. I’m going to Martina’s tomorrow so will bring the camera. Lovely to see her she looks so happy and healthy, such a lovely person.

Tuesday, its deffo getting hotter and hotter summer is here. The main attractions of today were the arrival of PADi and Suunto two puppies bought by the new owners of liquid, the bogs are really there boys puppies, but they will be sending most days at the dive centre. As soon as they arrived everyone fell in love, they pretty much stick together, and play and play and play. I continued to paint the rinse tanks this morning, adding a blue colour to the back ground. The other main news is I was back in the water diving, woo hoo after 2 weeks I was at sea again. Went to the mighty Giants castle, saw a couple of giant morays other than that it was just nice to be in the water, doing a negative entry and breathing air at depth. This could be my last dive with Louis who returns to OZ on Thursday another lovely person met in Tofo and now leaving Tofo Had pizza for lunch, emmmmm so tasty. I got home, no water, I spoke to the lovely night watchman (well I showed him the tap, he understood) It was a difficult conversation but he had to speak to someone else resulting in the water getting turned on soon. I had to go out to Martina’s place had a lovely meal and a pedicure gel overlay. Tomorrow we do fingers. When I got home there was aqua…. Yeah….

Wednesday started with a Top Gear moment, the boss had a flat so I drove the green very old Liquid land rover that has nothing working on the dash, you have to keep your elbow clamped to the driver’s door to keep it closed, move the steering wheel and nothing happens, you have to turn it a lot to get any change of direction. Yes this could have been a moment out of a Top Gear Africa special, driving down very bumpy sand road, I was deffo channelling my inner Clarkson/May/Hammond. Finished painting on the rinse tanks then started work on a huge stencil for a surfboard sign. In the afternoon took my second scuba review today this is for a qualified diver that has not dived in a couple of years, . oh I get paid for that as well, im a dive pro. BREAKING NEWS…… Alice Cooper was seen by Chris at Alice’s house, this is great news, I was beginning to fear the worst as it’s been a week since we saw him.

Thursday, BREAKING NEWS, i saw Alice Cooper this evening after leaving the dive shop, I’m convinced he recognised me as there was lots of meowing, and rubbing of his head on me. I of course stroked him and told him how much I missed him; he really seemed to remember me. He then climbed down off the wall and wanted to follow me, this is sweet but I can’t let him get lost so I walked him back home, he jumped back on the wall when a car came. It was s great to see him again, I am extremely happy. Today was a wonderful wet day, started out on a dive to the beautiful Sherwood forest. At one point I turned to look at mike and behind him swimming towards us was a large turtle, I shouted in t my regulator and pointed, mike looked round sharply (thinking id seen a manta) and the turtle changed direction instantly amazing to see this beauty up close. Once back on land got kitted up for an Ocean safari, we initially had problems with the boat but after some tinkering we were off. We saw a pod of Dolphins and 2 or 3 mantas just under the surface one or two had visible shark bite marks on their wing tips. Once back at the shop I conducted another scuba review, as before everything came back to the person I was demonstrating things too. This evening the night watchman came and had a conversation with me, I didn’t understand until I heard a work that sounded like one of the days of the week. I showed him my calendar on the phone and he was it seems talking about different days. I had to ring someone and ask them to translate; he needs a couple of days off over the weekend, fine by me.

Friday, a very bust water day, an early dive to Giants Castle, this didn’t quite go to plan. The second dive at Salon was really good, and I was leader, taking the punters on a tour. A few weeks ago there was Octo sex, today we had Octo fight club. I came across an unusual shape I couldn’t work it out so approached, it was only when I was very near I could see it was an Octo that was wrapped around a Huge Lobster, all that could be seen of the lobster was the long feelers and lots of kicking legs. About a food away was another Octo trying to get the Lobster meal there was some amazing colour changes from the Octo’s. The 3^rd dive was at Marble Arch, it didn’t last that long for me as I had a slightly panicked diver that I brought up to the surface, she is find and I think glad to be on dry land. We did have another boat problem (engine pods had to be controlled by brute force as some hydraulic thing went wrong) but all good now. Spend the evening Skyping with Hel watching some BBC tv, yes I’m a sad frakker.

The weeks are flying by they really are, it won’t be long and I will have been here 5 months. I still love Tofo, the people, the place and Mozambique. It’s getting very hot but it’s not really affecting me, yes I stick to the shade if I can. The diving is wonderful and the ocean safaris are fun. Yes my adventure continues. Next week I must start running again, my back does feel a little sore at time but its better, so I have to run soon.

Misfits Mid Life Crisis Adventures in ………….. Mozambique.

Week 20, Saturday 1 to Friday 7 November 2014.

This week I have mainly been listening to….. Morrissey, Lana Del Ray, Santigold, MORE MORRISSEY, Kate Bush.

And have been watching…. Star Wars Episode 1, (No Phantom, No menace). Lillyhammer (All of Season 2). Doctor Who “Dark Water” (Season 8/34, eps11,). Citizen Khan (Season 3, eps 1). Not Going Out. The Big bang Theory (Season 7, eps 18 & 19). Fringe (Season 2 eps 1-10).

Saturday. Started the day at yoga, went and saw a lovely woman who is a teacher/instructor in Yoga really good hour one to one session. Have got home work to do really hoping that this helps my back, the rest of the day it didn’t feel too bad hope to be back diving soon. Phil Mitchell the mad dog that attacked Alice Cooper was killed today just down the road, I saw the body being dragged away (this was maybe 50 meters or so away, so I didn’t see it up close but I saw the body). It appears that the dog was ill and some people have been using the R word in connection with it, it has been said that it has attacked other dogs and people. It did have an owner who was having trouble controlling it. I don’t think its death was dignified and to be honest I do feel sad for it. Alice is back but doesn’t appear to be the same relaxed cat, I think he still in shock and stressed and hopefully not in pain.   Today was the start of the new Liquid dive centre as the new owners officially took over, until we move in to the new space next door there won’t be much in the way of change I suspect. But it’s a new start looking forward to the future (the past has been great by the way), just hope this damn back gets better. My little nephew Jesse crawled for the first time, I saw this for myself when I skyped my sister. Am doing Doctor Who tomorrow as the sound has to be load for it to register well over Skype, I don’t want to wake Jesse and Anaia who are staying the night.

Sunday, yes I’m going to grumble about my back again, there are a group of French people diving with us, they must think I’m some sort of dive shop groupie as I’ve not dived with them but I am always here. Feeling a little fed up about the situation, I don’t really have anyone to talk to about it over here, so I might vent on this so called blog. Alice Cooper is back and spent most of the day around the back of the shop where its quieter. He just lay there doesn’t want the company that he did before, he used to previously snuggle up with, but now… I took him some water twice which he lapped up and of course i fed him in the morning, hoping that in time he will get back to his usual self. Jenny a lovely woman that is going to open a little café in the new dive shop was round this morning testing how long it takes to make things. Today she was making amazing fried egg and bacon with tommy sauce bun (“Heaven in a bun” I think it should be called), she also brought homemade cake woo hoo, were all going to get very fat but happy in the future. A very sexy woman came to the dive shop today (to dive) have spoken to her a couple of times I don’t know if she’s gay (I think so) of course she doesn’t know I exsist even though we had a long conversation about life the universe and everything (remember kids the answer is 42) and I got a small back rub (enough said I think about this now)..

Monday, a rubbish day, felt shit, back felt crap I hung about at the dive centre for a couple of hours but in the end I left and went to the pharmacy and got more pills. I tried to ask if there was a doctor around here, the man didn’t understand I even showed him the word “Doctor” but that didn’t help. I have heard that there is a hospital and a private clinic in Inhambane (23km away) if thing go on for too long I might have to go there. Anyway walked back to the house with tears in my eyes as I feel frustrated that I can’t do anything, am very fed up with the world and really do just want to cry and sleep all the time. When I was in the UK that’s what I’d do I’d shut myself away and stay in bed. But here it’s a little more difficult, with housekeepers and a decorator still about. So I came home and looked about the WWW. Carla one of the lovely housekeepers shared some of their beautiful fish meal so sweet, I think she knew I was a little down. I leave this house in a couple of days after 3 month and I will be giving both of the housekeepers a tip to show my appreciation they have looked after me so well.

Tuesday, I didn’t feel great yesterday so today I stayed home. I really didn’t do anything apart from watch lots and LOTs of fringe season 2. I’m taking the anti inflams, the back is getting better but it still hurts I still feel it. I am hoping that after this week I will be back in action. It’s so frustrating being around excited people who have been diving and seen wonderful things and all you have seen in the shop or the street. I went to Casa Barry the place I will be returning to in a couple of days, and found that the room I’m due to move in to has been let to someone very soon, this means that I will move in but then have to move out soon after. It is frustrating as I did speak to them and say I wanted to room, but oh well these things happen, so I’m not really sure where I will end up for a period of time. This evening I discovered as it was becoming dusk 2 nests hanging by branches next to the house, it will be tough if impossible for tiger to get them but I have been advised that a snake could easily get there. The Birds are possible “Weaver Birds” (the nest is actually woven with grass) very yellow and beautiful I think there are chicks in one nest as that’s the one that seems to be getting all the visits from the adults with food. I love watching nature progs and always look out for nests but have never had one right outside where I’m living, and typical I’m leaving the house tomorrow so I won’t be able to follow up on their progress. I watched them for as long as I could, so sweet. I packed my belongings ready for the big move, will be very sad to leave this lovely house.

Wednesday, back at the dive shop. I have borrowed a tiny projector (I was expecting a huge thing that you connect to the laptop, oh no). The tinny tiny projector was used to put the new Liquid logo designed by my Tofo husband Miki on the wall which I’m going to paint. I love art and to draw and paint but I have never painted on a wall before, never done anything like this before. As I started to draw the pencil outline of the projected image on the wall I have to admit I really didn’t know if I could do it. 4 hours later the first coat was completed and it actually looks good (of course Miki’s design looks great, I mean the paint job actually looks ok for something done by me). Jenny who is going to be our resident coffee/baking wonder arrived with beautiful chicken and egg rolls, yummy scrummy…. Oops I reverted to being a child at wonderful food arriving. Once fed Jenny and I got talking, and the result of this is I’m moving in to her place. Went to see her lovely house it’s huge and has a sort of sea view (I say sort of as there is a house obscuring part of it, but you can still sit on the porch and see the sea). So I’m moving in with her and her dog Sally Bear and Cat Jemima. I have been to Casa Barry and informed them and they were not angry so all is good in Tofo. Been watching the birds and I think there are chicks now in both nest, how exciting. I have also been told that Martina and family are not back until Friday now.

Thursday. Was kept up by terrible winds, and yes I was worried about the Weaver bird nests, there ok in fact one bird was making repairs to the nest it appeared. I spent the morning finishing the logo, a second coat and fine tuning edges and boarders making them look sharp and clear, also blotted out with white a few finger prints and a smudge or three. I really like it and yes I will for once say I have done a good job. The rest of the day was spent helping to paint benches and rails while, and lots of surf boards that are used as signs black. A few of us came up with an idea that if I borrow the projector again and make stencils then I can spray paint in true Banky style the logo on the benches and the surf boards, also it will be a hell of a lot quicker than painting it. As I said before ive never painted like this before but am totally enjoying it. My back is better I still feel it, it’s not totally right but its better I hope to be back diving in a couple of days. I think my main worry is the boat as the ride can be very bumpy so standing up at the front might help (I’ll bugger my knees but my back will be ok…..lol). No Alice Cooper at all today, this is the first time in a very long time that we haven’t seen him, am still worried after the attack last week he has never quite got back to being the cat he was do hope that all is ok. What an evening, spent with Jenny at Mozambeats and then in downtown (not sure it’s really a downtown, but it sounds good) Tofo, had a lot to drink, chatted with lots of lovely people most I do already know and a few I don’t. Live music at “What U Want” was really good. It was nice to get home even if it was very late (I had already collected tank earlier in the evening). I spent my last night with Tiger and Tank very sad lots of drunken cuddles.

Friday. I don’t feel great I will admit, I think I’m slurring a little but I have painting second coats on Goth surf boards and designing stencils for spray painting so I have plenty to do. Everyone has gone on a double tank so I’m all alone which is nice in a way as I really don’t feel up to much in the way of company. I deffo cannot party like that regularly or drink like that as I feel totally shit and can’t really function. Just writing it here is probably saying too much really. I move in to Jenny’s tonight and from Sunday it’s just me and Sally Bear (the dog) and Jemima (the cat) as jenny has to go to South Africa for a couple of weeks. No Alice Cooper again this morning, should I be concerned, I am that’s the problem. Been painting surf boards black to make in to signs and tables white, by the end of the day I way as high as a kite from fumes. I have moved this evening from Casa Martina (I did cry when I left), I left a bog roll, lol. Tonight I moved in with Jenny in to a beautiful large house by the sea….. more to follow.

The end of another week, a week of painting walls and furniture, a week of realising that I can paint a logo on a wall, a week of no diving and a bad back. Next week I want to dive I need to dive…….

Misfits Mid Life Crisis Adventures in ………….. Mozambique.

Week 19, Saturday 25 to Friday 31 October 2014.

This week I have mainly been listening to….. Lana Del Ray. LOTS of Morrissey, The XX, and more MORRISSEY…..

And have been watching…. Doctor Who “Flatline” (eps 9 Season 8/34). Doctor Who “Night of the Forest” (eps 10 Season 8/34). Homeland (finished Season 3). Lillyhammer (season 1), The Apprentice (season 10, eps 2, 3 & 4)

Saturday, while I sat outside having breakfast, Tiger jumped over the gate with something in her mouth. A green bird, I quickly managed to pick her up, the bird promptly flew away with hopefully only a few feathers missing. Two lovely dives, the first at Salon. There were moments when I was surrounded by what I call curtains of fish, fish everywhere static in the water completely unfazed by your presence. Later at Marble Arch where you have these wonderful swim thru, you hover above the sandy/silty/crushed coral/shell floor and look up at the solid rock above your head and all the life that calls this home. When I got back to land a lovely man called Carlos had arrived, I don’t know him but he had come to fix my computer. A small smiley slightly gap toothed man who has magic fingers, he sorted the dongle and the computer all for only 200mts, I have to admit that he had to struggle to get his feet back on to the ground as I gave him a huge cuddle. I must buy him a drink, and have him on speed dial if there are future probs. Later I skyped my mum and chatted about her surprise bday party last week which I missed, it sounds like she had a great time. I then spend the rest of the evening watching new Doctor Who via Skype catching up on last weeks and watching the new episode live. While cooking (my attempt anyway at cooking) I heard a loud meow, it was Ginger Geri Spice the cat, I texted the owner who said that its run off again and he (the owner) was not in town today. Geri didn’t hang about (I was a little naughty and gave it a few biscuits) it disappeared soon after, if it returns tomorrow will txt owner again. My backs hurting a little by the way…..

Sunday, another 2 great dives, these are Tofo2014 number 95 and 96, which means that l have hit the 200 dive mark since I started in 2009. Lovely dives to Giants castle and Simons Town. The viz at Giants was not great at first but it soon cleared nothing really huge seen, plenty of Big Eye Trevally cruising about. At Simons Town I helped Louis map the site as part of his DMT course, highlights was a huge Loggerhead turtle free swimming at depth who’s front left fin was missing, there was just a stump. But the best part of the dive was Octopus sex, yes today was Octopus” sexy time” Sunday. We had close up and personal view of a pair of Octos getting jiggy. Skyped with both Hel and SAZ and her lovely family, my little nephew Jesse is almost crawling so sweet to watch him. My bad back has really been niggling me today, so tomorrow I’m going to rest it, no boat rides or carrying heavy Scuba gear for a few days.

Monday was my day off. I slept in a little then went for a long walk around Tofinho. Walked on the beach watching very strong waves breaking against the shoreline, the wind was strong. I made it to the monument a place I pass every time I go south on the boat for a dive or an ocean safari. I did try to get to the monument last year by walking on the beach but found it wasn’t possible. Today I did it walking on a sand road. The monument is a huge pyramid with an arm and a clenched fist coming out of the top, I have heard conflicting stories about what the monument is for. Made my way back to the dive centre only because the painter will be at the house I’m staying at for hours. At the dive shop not a lot was happening, they have painters in as well (yep paint fumes everywhere I go at the mo….lol) the new Liquid dive shop is going to look great. Spent the afternoon chatting with Satu and Jari (the new owners) children who are young about Star Wars and the film Cats and Dogs (the Cats and Dogs things was because Alice Cooper the cat was there looking cute as normal). When I did get home the painter was still there so I treated him to a free Morrissey concert, he didn’t say he DIDN’T like it.

Tuesday was a dry day, not a lot happened at the shop. I spent most of it going over and revising our dive site maps for the new Liquid. I am really having problems with my back at the mo, got some pills which might help and have been given some exercises that I will have a go at. No running for me, I will have to take up swimming. This will sound strange but I haven’t been in the sea to just swim much. I’m in the sea a lot for diving and ocean safaris but don’t just go to the beach and swam. Swimming is supposed to be good for the back so I think a couple of times a week I will have to just go for a swim in the bay. I have to do some form of exercise if I can’t run and I don’t have a bicycle then swimming is all I have left. I might have put a few pounds on as I’m eating so much yummy bread here, I deffo have to stop and start swimming. I also have a cough which I think is from the paint fumes I can taste the pain in my mouth and my lungs feel tight. When I got home tonight everything has been moved back in its normal place, the internal decorating has finished it appears so the fumes should be gone in a couple of days, it has been a bit tough living with the smell the last week

Wednesday, I really forget what day it is and have to sometimes ask. I was convinced that it was Tuesday today, every day is very relaxed and when not a lot happens it’s easy to forget the day I suppose. The weeks are shooting by which is scary. I am enjoying every day so much here and that doesn’t help with remembering is it Tuesday or Wednesday, I realise that this sounds a little strange. Today I continued to draw dive site maps as well as help people get kitted up for Ocean Safari or help put dive stuff away. I was asked to write some bullet points for the Ocean Safari briefing that we do before each trip, 3 versions later I think I have a final list have e-mailed to the new bosses will be interesting to see what they think. I had to go in to the market to return some empty Coke bottles (Coke really does tastes so much better out of a small glass bottle, I’m certain of that). In the space of 15 minutes I bumped in to so many happy smiley people, most people shake your hand they tell you there name, ask yours and just chat. But in this short period of time I was asked if I had internet on my phone (I don’t, I have a cheap phone from ASDA) or 100mts to help a “brother” who runs a market stall or keep in contact with someone who wants help getting a modem from the UK (I think that’s what he wanted, he was slurring his words a lot at 4pm). I wish I could help everybody, but I have to help me first, I’m not earning any money I’m living on a tight budget over here. My backs still hurting just trying to take it easy at the mo…. But I want to get in the water and dive…….

Thursday a day of not a lot really, the wind is up and the sea is high were not diving at the mo, but there was a dive with a different centre and we had a Kayak trip. I was at the shop did some more mapping but there is only so much mapping a geek can take. A new dog appeared a squat ugly dog with nodules on its nose, I’ve called him “Phil Mitchell”. He went for Alice Cooper, Alice bolted up a tree. Half an hour later it happened again this time the Phil got hold of Alice, I chased it away throw rocks at the damn thing, Alice as a result has a cut to the chest, you can see its red amongst his white fur and there was appeared to be dog spit all over his back where he had been grabbed. A few minutes later Alice who was shaking in shock disappeared I went looking but didn’t find him; I desperately hope this kitty is safe. Cats over here really don’t have a good track record to be honest. Tank and Tiger of course get on well it’s a different relationship. Alice and Chicken and Boobies also get on well, they sort of live together when Alice is not at the dive shop, that is. I really hope Alice is ok, again my heart has been stolen by a little fur ball. Still have a bad back as a result I went home early going to give the local yoga instructor a call to see if she can advise anything. I need to be well and want to dive and do Ocean Safaris again. Oh Satu and Jari (the new Liquid bosses) have discussed with me about working at the centre and getting a little money, you will never make much money doing this but you don’t do it for money. As I said to them as long as I can pay rent that’s all that matters. I’m a Tofo resident for a while, and I love it.

Friday, Halloween the one time of the year that I seem to fit in, the one time of year I’m not the only freak around I would say. Still dive shop bound, back feels better now and then, I have a very early appointment with the yogis in the morning, hope that they can advise and help me. I will try to dive over the weekend. Once the scuba gears on and I’m in the water it will be fine, I just must try not to be silly carrying heavy stuff around. I was like an old lady today, carrying one weight belt then another and another, one BCD then another. Normally I would have a couple of BCD and 2 or 3 weight belts each time, frakk I’m an old hag. Alice Cooper came back for an hour or so, I was so pleased to see him. He was very wary of everything lots of sniffing and smelling things, he also stayed on top of the counter it’s as if he knew that any dog would have trouble getting up there. It’s a good sign I think that we saw him; he must feel reasonably safe otherwise he would never come back. Not seen anything of Phil Mitchell, which is a good thing. Been mapping again, I have different versions of maps must show them to the new bosses, I’m a little mapped out I think. This evening I’ve been Skyping with my sister watching The Apprentice, it’s not meant to be a comedy but I laugh like a drain while it’s on….. Yep its Halloween at my house big time…..

End of another week, I really hope that this bad back gets better, I want to get back in the water and do what I’m here for. Fingers crossed for next week.

Misfits Mid Life Crisis Adventures in ………….. Mozambique.

Week 18, Saturday 18 to Friday 24 October 2014.

This week I have mainly been listening to….. Cocteau Twins, Birdy, The Divine Comedy, LOTS of Morrissey and Smiths.

And have been watching…. Sleepy Hollow (Finished season 1), Homeland (Season 1, eps1 to 12) (Season 2, eps 1 to 12) (Season 3, eps 1 to 3)

Saturday wasn’t a good day, got to the shop at normal time 6.45(ish) and apart from the Mozambiquian guys no one else turned up for a few hours. Tofo was suffering from a huge hangover due to a big party the night before. I was invited but didn’t go; I have a problem going out and as a result I seem to have cut myself off from the world. I do get lonely some evenings and definitely felt it Friday night. As the morning went on and people started to arrive my internet dongle decided to stop working, I rushed round the market to recharge it with 1000mts (£20). However I found that it was still not working I ended up going back and forth from dive ship to the market 2 or 3 times and nothing. It’s getting hot, happy smiley people are taking to me but inside I’m just panicking and wanted to cry. In the end the man in the market says that he knows someone that can help for 1200mts. I reluctantly hand the computer over and hope I haven’t done something stupid. I ended up keeping myself busy by doing a drawing of the dive centre from across the road (the new owners Satu and Jari have asked me to do a drawing like that). I spent all afternoon doing it, it’s a cartoon not a technical drawing which is not to scale, but it looks ok. I got a text and collected the computer about 5ish it worked I was so relived I felt a weight had been taken off me. When I got home I found that the landlord has been here with work men who are re-thatch the patio area and the garage area out front, looks very nice, they are using the leaves from coconut trees.

Sunday I slept really badly, my tummy is not right I think my Master Chef recipe last night has poisoned me, lol. I decided not to go in to the shop today, took Tank to Peri Peri but decided that she could stay with me at home. However Tank and Buster (a sort of Fred Basset hound type dog) decided that they wanted to go to the beach. So we went to the beach had a paddle, walking on the beach with 2 puppies made me happy and made the world feel better. Bugger, I’ll say it again in capitals BUGGER, the internet dongle has stopped working again, nothing I do seem to do has helped I’ll try someone else dongle and see what happens. The most upsetting things is i was supposed to Skype today to my mums surprise 70th birthday party, bugger… I’m not happy and a little stressed again. I ended up watching 11 out of 12 episodes of Homeland season 1, bloody good until something happens in ep6 which I think lets it down slightly (no spoilers here)

Monday was what I like to think of as a wet day, started out helping with a rescue training dive, I was Anna’s unconscious diver. This meant i lie on the sea floor face down and go limp and then get woman/man handled to the surface and eventually on to the boat, closing my eyes I zoned out completely and quite enjoyed being a fake unconscious diver. Once back it was time for an ocean safari, had time for a quick sandwich and a coffee then off we went. The sea was rough and big the sky was dark and cloudy. After 40mins or the captain decided that we would have to go back, the conditions were not good, we wouldn’t have been able to snorkel well in them comfortably. We saw some dolphins which always brings a smile to any persons face. In the afternoon there was a dive to Giants Castle one of my fave deep sites, nothing large seen but still a lovely site and great to be deep again. After work (it’s not really work I know) I tried a Vodacom (the other internet/mobile provider) internet dongle, it wouldn’t work, it’s as if the computer has a block on any dongle. I know the USB ports work, it’s so frustrating I do feel a little cut off at the mo. Had a nice pizza this evening with a few of the dive shop guys.

Tuesday consisted of new dives of epic(ness). Giants Castle once again, this time it proved why it’s called Giants. On the drop in amazing 30 metre viz (we could see the reef as soon as we hit the water) I could see a giant manta on the cleaning station and it stayed there as we descended to its depth. The rest of the dive was just as spectacular, another couple of huge GIANT with a capital G Manta’s. One came out of the blue in Nadia’s direction it didn’t change its course it ploughed straight on, Nadia had to move quickly out of the way. Not to be out done we had a very large small eye sting ray as well. The second dive was to the beautiful Sherwood forest, so called because of its green tree corals. Nothing big spotted but again great viz and a damn good dive. Coming up to the surface (to do our safety stop) we had a couple of “old woman” yes that’s what they’re called, fluttering around Anna. Chris and I very inquisitive they came right up to your face. Haven’t seen any humpys recently they are starting to head south now, but I did hear them on the second dive. Later I did another drawing at the dive shop to keep me busy and my hand in. I saw Birgit as I went home before my run, she was leaving first thing in the morning, said goodbye to another lovely person leaving Tofo (My snorkel test buddy). I had a reasonably good run, I say this as most runs are not easy. No pig was spotted during PIGWATCH. The landlord of the house I’m staying has now started work on the inside, the bedroom had all been packed up stuff moved out and what hadn’t had been packed on top of the bed. I looked at it and thought…..emmmm so where am I sleeping. I unpacked the bed and rigged the mozzie net up as best I could and slept well. Both tiger and Tank were confused as to what was happening Tank more so I felt poor love as her space where she sleeps had a couple of other things in it. Spent time this evening watching a tiny gecko walking around the walls, I sat there wondering about its life…..

Wednesday, another really wet day and I loved it. Went on ocean safari with some of the people from Mondays bad weather aborted safari. Saw dolphins but not a lot else, the whales seem to deffo be heading south now not seen any on the surface all week. While bobbing up and down in the water a person who shall remain nameless said to me “I’m having a wee, can you feel it” we just laughed together in the ocean (what happens in Tofo, stays in Tofo). Once back I found my gear set up and within 30 mins I was back out on the boat doing a double tank dive. Really lovely viz at Manta Reef and Simons Town, big Groupers and Morays a couple of Crocodile fish but nothing BIG spotted. At home the decorators have been busy the house smelt badly of paint, I opened every window and re-rigged the mozzie net (again) and put the fan on full, by the time I went to bed I was able to close windows leave the fan on the smell had mainly gone.

Thursday, started the morning leading an Ocean Safari for a group of 6, it turned out to be an epic safari. We had 2 whale sharks (people at the dive shop were jealous). The second Whale shark just floated in the water with its nose feet from our idle propellers, it just floated following the boat.  I was in the water and came face to face with this beautiful giant a couple of times, from the side the profile of the head has that classic shark shape. When the water washed through and over the gills it made the head and gills rippled. As usual I didn’t have a camera with me; however it’s all recorded in my head. Its times like this that I will remember for the rest of my life. I also saw something that will haunt me for ever for the wrong reasons, standing at the dive shop I heard squeals, when I looked down the road I saw 2 men carrying a black pig (I’m pretty sure it wasn’t the PIGWATCH pig) by its ears and hind legs, the poor animal was in distress. I couldn’t do anything to help, they carried the pig away it was very sad.   On a plus side we had a small puppy arrive at the centre who we called “Fruit Loop” it looked hungry so we fed it scarps and gave it water its tail was moving frantically so fast that you had trouble keeping track of it. Once fruit loop was fed and watered he wondered off, the little lady had nasty looking cuts on her ears. Not sure if we will see her again. Did a dive to the wonderful Giants Castle (love that site) I was on reel duty at the back of our small group. The conditions were perfect for big stuff to appear but we didn’t see anything HUGE. Giants is in the bay and is only a few minutes away from shore, but the ride was bumpy the waves were big. Once home I found that the decorating has continued, the living room was packed up I had to move things so I could sit on the sofa during the evening. Tiger and tank are not impressed with the recent goings on at home.

Friday still no internet, and on shop duty so while everyone was out on a training dive I started to look over our dive site maps. I am redrawing and reorientation them, I had completed about 6 by the time that Nadia and gang returned, Nadia has given me tips as to things that need to be changed and added. Once there all drawn and finished they will be scanned or photographed so that the new Liquid logo and other writing can be added. These maps will be used to show divers where we will be going and what they may see. Went home a little early the painter was still there, the fumes were so strong I felt high as a kite just standing there for a mo. I had to open every window and door to fumigate the place. I went for a run which was not as pleasant as the one earlier in the week in fact it was bloody tough to be honest. Got home and the fumes were better at the house but I have to get used to it as I’m in for the night. Its Friday night I should try to go out, go to the hotel where people will be drinking and listening to live music…. We’ll see.

It’s been an internet free frustrating week, I have felt a little cut off from the world not able to e-mail or Facebook people or get any news about the outside world. But it’s been a great week for Mantas and Whale sharks, a little puppy and of course Alice Cooper. Not such a great week after seeing that poor pig being dragged down the road…….. I suppose life continues and the planet keep turning it’s the circle of life. What will week 19 hold, stay tuned….

Misfits Mid Life Crisis Adventures in ………….. Mozambique.

Week 17, Saturday 11 to Friday 17 October 2014.

This week I have mainly been listening to….. First Aid Kit, The Divine Comedy, LCD Sound system, Deee-Lite “Groove is in the heart”, Lana Del Ray, The Divine Comedy.

And have been watching…. Ella Enchanted. Sleepy Hollow (season 1 ep 1 to 6), Doctor Who “Mummy on the Orient Express” (ep 8 season 8/34), The Heat, Top Gear USA, Cats and Dogs, The Graham Norton Show.

Saturday was a day off; I took Tank to the beach for a walk and a paddle. The sky was cloudy some of them appeared quite dark the sun wanted to make an appearance but the clouds were too thick. This didn’t stop Tank and I having a good time walking on the sand. I recharged my internet dongle today then spent the rest of the day at home I felt tired so had a nap and watched TV on my computer. The power has been going on and off all evening the lights going off for a few seconds the TV turning off just as the programme your watching gets to the best bit……… the power cuts out, very annoying, but this is Africa it cant be helped.

Sunday, it was another cloudy but humid day here in Tofo, the wind and waves are due to get stronger and bigger from tomorrow for a few days. I spent today looking after shop, spending time with the lovely Alice Cooper such a great way to spend a Sunday. I have written a second draft of “Alice the Little Lost Humpback” made a few changes. I have story boarded the drawings but want to work on them, I need paper and pencils and other art stuff, don’t imagine that I can get any of them here in Tofo. I don’t know if they’re going to be drawn or painted or a different style of pics. It’s a good idea (of course I would say that) I will have to dry run it with my nephews and nieces. I also did a little more work on my sci-fi shit list it’s nearly completed. Had the most amazing fish meal, Barracuda from the market today, sometimes its chicken (or a chickens foot, I give them to Louis) or beef, but today it was fish. I could have just eaten a couple of those huge cuda stakes. Skyped with Hel this evening and saw new Who during the episode SAZ called me by Skype, had a lovely conversation with Anaia as well as her showing me her scooter, so sweet.

Monday was a wet day, started out on a double tank to Salon to carry on mapping with Anna. Emmmmmm, what can I say we got lost; ok I was responsible I know and I take the blame, we lost the reef and just didn’t find it. But we ended up having a lovely 37 min dive just the 2 of us during which I saw a lovely Moray. Then during the surface interval between the dives we were treated to a up close and personal mum and baby humpy action, both whales were waving there incredibly large fins in the air and then slapping them in to the water. The Humpbacks will soon be leaving mozzibeak waters to head south to Antarctica, it will be sad not to see and hear (under the water) these gentle giants around. I hope I get to spend time with them again in the future. The second dive was to the wonderful Mikes Cupboard, love this site, saw a blue spotted rays and a beautiful cowfish (got to love a thick horned Cowfish), lots of lovely reef fish including plenty of Nemo’s relatives. I do think of Nemo and friends when I’m diving on the reefs (yes I’m sad). Once we got back on dry land we were told that there was an ocean safari straight away (it wasn’t booked when we left to dive). Anna and I with the punters spent the next couple of hours out on the sea looking for giants, we only saw Humpy (which is always good, mums and babies) but we didn’t see mantas or whale sharks etc. Still had a good time, we ended the safari with a snorkel at Clownfish reef the viz was beautiful you really could see reef life. Once back at shop I had another fish meal from Veronica in the market, with rice and matapa (she really missed Louis today) worked on another draft of my story draft adding a manta and a whale shark to the adventure. Got some shopping and went home to spend the eve with T&T. The wind is picking up tonight I can really hear it sitting in the house.

Tuesday, there were Manta’s on scuba and Humpbacks during a training rescue dive, however I wasn’t on any of these dives but the footage of the manta’s is amazing. Today was a shop day, which meant I spent time with Alice Cooper and Bundo and Boobies the dogs. Cindy (the boss of Liquid) played some old school Ska which livened up the place I haven’t heard some of those track’s in a long time. Highlight of the day for me was riding Nadia’s quad bike with Cindy on the back, love a quad so much fun speeding along the bumpy sand roads of Tofo. I made a couple of changes to my story and then started doing slightly more detailed drawings of what I think the pictures should look like. I did get bored and started to draw what I could see across the road at one point. I will have to test the story on some kids a little like a focus group I suppose, but the drawings are going to take a while. Went for a great and actually a fast run this afternoon (running is never easy or really fun to be totally honest). There was a lot of high fiveing with the kids along the route. PIGWATCH is back (for now) I saw the pig in the field; yes I am saddo but it was nice to see that fat tummy again lying in the sun. Tomorrow is general election day here in Mozambique, for the last few month everywhere you look there are political poster, in fact if something stands still for long enough it gets a poster (such as trees and road signs). It seems that some foreign governments have been saying that people shouldn’t come to Mozambique during this period, ‘I’ve been here a few months now and really can’t see that there has been any problems. Though I did hear that a van load of ballet papers have gone missing…. who will win, the people will decide (hopefully).

Wednesday, started with a wonderful dive to a site I hadn’t been to before “Simons Town”, which I think it should have been called “Nemo’s City”. This site was full of amazing reef life, it really could have been a scene from “Finding Nemo” and yes I saw plenty of Clownfish. The reef has these huge areas that I can only call bowls of coral with nooks and crannies and swim thru’s. I was on the reel so I didn’t get in to most of the nooks and crannies and the swim thru’s. When you’re on the reel you’re at the back of the group holding on to the line that has a buoy on the surface so that boat captain knows where the group is. Anyway I loved Simons Town lots and really want to go back again soon. On the dive saw a great crocodile fish and a sleeping turtle in a cave. Yes I think I have a new fave shallow site. The dive shop is soon to be under new management and today they the new bosses walked us though some of their plans for the new dive shop. It all sounds so exciting and am excited that I will be here to help and see the new place come to life. I did a doodle of my view across the road yesterday, I have been asked to do one looking towards the dive shop to help the new bosses with planning things, so will start that soon. The rest of the afternoon was spent with Anna and Louis and Alice Cooper at the shop. Alice really doesn’t like to be handled or picked up (most cats Ive known haven’t minded being picked up) he makes a lot of complaining noises and struggles to get out of your grip asap. He comes to us for the food, the stroking and love, but deffo not to be picked up.

Thursday, woke up at early briefly at 5am the fan had died another power cut, by the time I’d gone to the dive shop there was still no power. Stepped out of the door and found it had been raining, all day the sky was cloudy and it looked like it was going to rain (The forecast for Friday is a LOT of rain). My dive today was to Giants Castle, I dropped with the reel and guess what there were 2 giant Manta’s on the cleaning station. They didn’t stay long and by the time the rest of the group arrived they had gone. Nice drift dive at 29 metres saw a large Marble Ray partly buried in the sand on the ocean floor. The rest of the day I was on shop, spent time on my computer, reading and listening to music what a great life. At the end of the day it was mentioned that the boat needed testing as a new gearbox had been installed during the afternoon. Louis and I got in to our very WETsuits and travelled to the beach on the boat (which is not how we normally get there, we walk to the beach as the boat is pulled by the tractor). Once on the beach we helped Pedro and Parra launch the boat, we then got to speed around the bay a little to test the new gearbox. Louis shouted to me “you’re loving this”, it was so true I had a huge grin on my face as I held on to the rope on the side of the inflatable pontoon. Really loved this unexpected trip, it was also nice to help Pedro and Parra, they work so hard so it was nice to be helping them.

Friday, was woken up at 5am by a huge thunder and lighten storm, oh the electrics out again. So I stood at the window and watched the sky light up and a number of lightning strikes, snaking down to the ground. I was tempted to try and get pics but didn’t bother. At about 7am I was up and walked Tank to Peri Peri, then walked through the market before my run. While walking up the main road I passed a fisherman holding by its tail a foot and a half (maybe 2 feet long) Hammerhead shark, so sad to see this little beauty being handle this way. I have seen Hammerheads on Scuba in Egypt, but over here I recently saw a small one just under the surface while travelling on the boat (I hope it’s a different Hammerhead). The run was good (Mum and Hel, I saw the PIG), the rain was not too bad, however at the petrol station it really started to tip it down. As I ran back to Tofo the rain got heavier and heavier, there were little rumbles of thunder every now and then. After a shower and change of clothes I took Tank to the beach (yes in the rain) and Casa Barry to check on my future accommodation, all looks good. Tank and I had a little paddle and run on the wet beach then went in to the market to buy some Castle Lite and Sprite, its Friday after all. Spent the rest of the day out of the rain (it stopped mid afternoon). Skyped with mum who’s bday it is today had a little chat, my prezzies I sent from SA in early September have never arrived….. Bugger. Oh the lovely Chris (who really looks like Kurt Cobain) has brought me some paper and watercolours (for my story) I will pay him back, i have no excuse now. This evening the TV stopped working like before, the wind and the rain has moved the satellite dish, good thing I have loads on my computer box.

It’s been a week of dodgy weather lots of cloud and buckets rain (today), the power going in and out (as I write this I’m in sitting the dark as the powers not working) but Tofo is still beautiful and the diving is amazing. I walk through Tofo every day to get to the dive centre and I realise what a wonderful place it is, am very lucky.

Misfits Mid Life Crisis Adventures in ………….. Mozambique.

Week 16, Saturday 4 to 10 October 2014.

This week I have mainly been listening to….. Arcade Fire, P.J Harvey, Nancy Sinatra “These boots are made for walking” Morrissey, Sophie B Hawkins “Damn I wish I was your lover”.

And have been watching…. The Hobbit, An Unexpected Journey. The Hobbit, The Desolation of Smaug. Doctor Who “Kill the Moon” (ep7 season 8/34). Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery. Top Gear USA & Top Gear Ambitious but Rubbish (both on BBC Entertainment). Drop Dead Fred. The Lord of the Rings, Fellowship of the Ring.

Saturday, I was at the shop for 7am, after helping get equipment ready for the morning dive i spent time working on my Sci-fi shit lists (yes there still not completed). I was lucky enough to be able to go home late morning as I wasn’t needed. I spent the time wisely and decided to visit Middle Earth, which I always enjoy (no visa required) and started at the beginning with the “The Hobbit, An Unexpected Journey”. While watching Bilbo and the dwarfs fight for their lives I could hear what sounded like moaning. Looking out of the window I discover that Geri Haliwell the ginger pussy was back, spread out on the concrete outside in the sunshine and meowing for all the world to hear. After the film I went for my first run in a week (this was due to my knee feeling dodgy). The run was good, plenty of people waving and saying hello. I bumped in to a couple of people I know including Joseph who works at Liquid. Some children said hello and a boy pulled out a dead squirrel from a bag, not sure what the conversion rate of meticais in exchange for a dead Squirrel is, I said “no thanks” politely. Still not see the Pig, had a good look in the field, PIGWATCH may have ended. Came home and returned to Middle earth for the second Hobbit film. Geri Haliwell is still around making a lot of noise. Skyped with my sister and saw new Who.

Sunday, not a lot really happened I was at the shop spent time with Alice Cooper, I met the new DMT Anna who seemed very nice. Birgit’s boyfriend has arrived so she will be leaving soon; I still haven’t got used to people leaving after getting to know them. I went home in the afternoon and finished watching the second Hobbit film. Geri Haliwell has returned, both Tiger and Tank are a little upset; I tried to walk Geri down the road and away from the house. It didn’t work. I felt so tired during the early evening that I definitely nodded a few times.

Monday morning and Geri is still here, really don’t know what to do. Went to the shop and went on a double tank, 2 really good dives excellent viz but nothing big was seen at depth. Under water you could hear humpbacks and dolphins; we looked around but couldn’t see any of them. During the surface interval between dives we had humpbacks breeching on the surface we went over for a look so magnificent, they will soon be leaving Mozambique waters to head south towards the Antarctic. After spending time t the shop I went home and guess what Geri was still there? I got ready for a run and Geri followed me down the road. I then bumped in to someone I have met a few times who told me he thinks he knows who the cat belongs to, I texted the possible owner. The run was good enjoyed it a lot; it actually felt easy for once. Again I had a number of little children running with me, some ask for sweets. When I leave I must get lots of sweets to hand out (that of course might not be a good idea, will have to think about it). I got home and Geri was still here, this time both Tiger and Tank were getting upset and stressed, I did something I’m not proud of I threw a cup of water over Ginger spice, the wet pussy sped away. About an hour later I get a call from the possible owner, it could be his cat and now it’s nowhere to be seen. Bloody typical I will keep an eye out for Geri, feel really bad about what I did, but at the time I didn’t have a choce.

Tuesday was a day of helping nature, I rescued 2 gecko’s (one very small and one large) from Alice Coopers jaws, distract him with food and he drops the gecko and I scooped them up. The large one showed its appreciation by nipping me on the finger. A spider was trapped in a glass at the dive centre, I felt I had to help it. The last time I saw it the spider it was crawling across the grass away from the dive shop. Yesterday I noticed a large ant walking around the base of the shower, when Tiger saw it the ant ran for the plug hole. Tonight I saw an ant (I felt it was the same one) so I managed to get it in a glass and off in to the garden it went. After what happened with Geri (the ginger cat) yesterday I think I’m feeling very guilty. Geri hasn’t returned yet, I do hope that he’s (the cats a boy) ok out there. Today I went on a dive that didn’t go as planned, I had the reel and due to the current it was decided that I’d go straight down to the reef and wait for everyone to drop. When I got down the current was howling I made the decision to drop further and cling on. As I drifted across the surface I made a grab at rocks, cracks something to cling on to, one I decided to not use as a large lobster made it his home and I didn’t think she would approve of me hanging on to the front door. I found a nice flat spot and with my right hand I held on tight, with my left hand I kept hold of the reel the full 50metres of line was deployed. After a decent amount of time I made the decision to ascend. I let go of the rock and drifted immediately reeling in the line. After what felt like a long time I reached the surface and signalled to the boat. It turned out that the current was too string for the rest of the group to stay with the line and aborted the dive.

Wednesday was all about the snorkel test in the evening. But before that there was what was my last dive as a DMT today was dive 79 in Tofo since end of June. The dive today was to Giants Castle again the location of yesterday’s dive. We all dropped and found the viz was slightly better then yesterday but only just. There was a current which was also a little less then I remember from the previous dive. We drifted along nicely occasionally holding on here and there. Saw an amazing Honeycomb Moray maybe 6 or so feet long free swimming out in the open, this is not something you see often during the day (this is more a night time activity) normally you see them poking there head out of a hole. This one didn’t seem to be bothered by 5 divers drifting near it. We also saw a Smalleye ray (the word largest ray), I think it was as surprised to see us in the bad viz as we were it. Later went to Casa Barry or food and drink but to also look in to booking my old room from end of October, as Martina and family will be back. Spend the afternoon resting getting ready for the evening. The moon was full I arrived at Mozambeats bar about 7pm, I ordered a plate of chips and had a drink, soon everyone arrived and it was time for the party to start. Once everyone was gathered Birgit and I were handed our snorkels that had half a plastic water bottle taped to the top. Then a concoction of drink was poured down it, I started to drink and drink, you can’t really breath its very uncomfortable I felt my tummy swell up straight away from the drink and the gas. I had to take the snork out of my mouth a couple of times liquid poured on to my legs. But it was soon over. Then came the shots not sure how many I had. After this there was a slight moment of vomiting only a little came out. Birgit and I were then presented with our reef that we had to describe it was called The Orifice in honour to the local site The Office. The picture was as expected rude, Birgit and I did our briefing to the crowd I don’t remember details but I seem to remember that we got Patrick one of Liquids captain involved in the briefing. Overall it was a little messy but fun, think the crowds were entertained.

Thursday Morning I felt like shit, I didn’t do much at all, I slept and slept. My handbag didn’t make it home but it’s been found safe and sound that’s the main thing. The afternoon I felt like shit and didn’t do anything but look on the net and watch TV. I had a text from Louis to say that the Owl pendant I lost a couple of months ago has been found, I suspected it was at the shop and sure enough it was found there. I went to Middle Earth again watching “The Lord of the Rings, The fellowship of the Ring”. Yes I didn’t do much today.

Friday the clouds look thick not a lot of sun shone through as a result it was very humid. I went on a dive to Salon, Anna and I did some mapping of the site, we have a rough start but it needs more work. Even though there was a lot of wind and the waves were high it was great to be in the water again. Nadia was going to a party and wanted a hippy headdress. I found some wire and making tape and got some flowers. The first version was a little over the top, probably more Hobbit wedding then Woodstock which is what Nadia wanted to. So I stripped the frame down and started again with just white flowers, less is more in a situation like that. After about an hour Nadia had a hippy headdress, never made anything like that before it went well (I’m available for weddings etc….). Oh Geri Haliwell has been found by his owner, I saw them in the street today I’am so relieved I was feeling very guilty. I have also finished writing the first draft of “Alice, the little lost Humpback” it needs a lot of work, I have worked out VERY rough story boards but need to work out the drawings, I also need paper and paints or crayons or something. I went on my run another good one, but it’s never really easy there are sections (up a couple of hills that I hate), the people along the route always make the run interesting and fun. A message to my mum and Hel still no Pig… very sad. I’ve made my self feel a little sick this evening drinking beer and Sprite making a sort of larger and lime, better not have anymore….

What a week, I became a Dive professional; I got very drunk and was only a little sick. I upset a Cat and tried to make a difference by helping a few strange animals, and got nipped by a Gecko. I have had another great week in Tofo, I really don’t want to leave.

Misfits Mid Life Crisis Adventures in ………….. Mozambique.

Week 15, Saturday 27 September to 3 October 2014.

This week I have mainly been listening to….. Suede, Arcade Fire, Lana Del Ray, Air, Birdy, Lorde, woke up on 3 October with the theme to Skyes in my head ?????

And have been watching…. Oceans Thirteen, Breaking Bad (season 5, have finished it), The Breakfast Club, Les Miserables, Sherlock Holmes (Directed by Guy Ritche) The Great British Bake off (season 4 final), Captain Phillips,

Saturday started much earlier than normal, at 6am I was at the bottom of the dirt road where it meets the tarmac road and waiting for a lift in to Inhambane. I was taking part in a road race, a 10k run into Inhambane. At the start point (by the side of the road) I registered and got given number 19, over the next hour or so another 160 to 170 people arrived. The road was not closed it was a live road, Chappa (small mini buses that go to and from Inhambane) 4×4 and other cars and lorries had to squeeze through the throng of runners in red, yellow and white t-shirts to carry on there journey. During the next hour and a half there were a couple of attempts at a start with count down being shouted over the crowd but for some reason they never got to zero. As time passed it go hotter and hotter, I just wanted to run. In the end we did start, most of the route was passing fields with a few houses and little shops here and there. There was water along the route, mostly at markers telling you how far you had left. Some of this you drank, some you throw over your head or got someone to pour down the back of your shirt. At 4k point we ran near Inhambane airport I saw skydivers dropping in to view. At the 7k mark I reached the outskirts of Inhambane, there were more shops and house, and lots more people doing their thing early on a Saturday morning. After the 8k marker I didn’t see any more signs, I was waiting for the 9k to appear. So I kept plodding on up a slight hill then turned a corner to be faced with the finish line, somehow I missed the 9k mark. I finished in 1hr 3mins 31 sec not a record (the winner did 10k in 35mins) but I was pleased. On the way home we stopped off at the supermarket (the only one in the area) getting cheese and milk and other supplies. The rest of the day I rested, finished watching Breaking bad and Skyped with family (my niece Anaia and nephew Jesse were at mums). Decided that as Doctor who was on much later in the UK we would do our DW Skype session Sunday.

Sunday was shop day, but I got to go on an awesome Ocean Safari. Over a period of a couple of hours I saw plenty of dolphins and humpback mums and babies. Louis gave me his camera (my GoPro battery has died and won’t hold a charge) I filmed and filmed and filmed some more. Later I found out that I managed to get footage of a humpback swimming past the boat, it’s not great quality due to the viz in the water and the distance of the humpback from the boat. I have been trying to get a shot like this for a while, by shoving the camera in to the water and hoping for the best. I was pleased with the footage. There have been more and more spotting’s of Hammerhead sharks in the waters of Tofo, today I saw a baby one it was maybe a couple of feet long, but so fast so I didn’t have time to get a shot, but what a cutie. The rest of the shop day I got snuggles and purrs from Alice Cooper. At one point he had climbed up on to the canopy that shades the front of the dive centre chasing geckos. He got down ok, but I was ready to grab him if needed when he was in reach. Finished my Liquid day with a fresh coconut, Joseph who works here climbed a tree and got a couple down then opened them. This evening I Skyped with Hel and watched new Who, which of course I enjoyed.

Monday started with a double tank to Manta Reef and Marble Arch, 2 lovely dive sites. The viz at Manta was in places crystal clear, there were patched where the temp dropped a degree or two you know you’re about to swim in to one coz the water looks different almost looking in to a broken mirror, the light fractures as it passes through the colder water. I was on reel duty so at the back of the group. The second dive to Marble arch I was able to use Louis camera again (I didn’t on manta as I had the reel), lovely Moray, puffer fish and some great swim thru’s that you negotiate through. Once back on dry land I got banana and bread (last night I had bread crunchy peanut butter and cheese, so I’m having that Masterchef meal again later). At lunch time I was round the back of the dive centre looking for an allen key when I got called over by Patrick, Parra, Pedro, Joseph who had cooked fresh fish and made soup they were having lunch. They invited me to try there food, so nice definitely the best restaurant in Tofo the fish was so nice. It was so sweet of them to offer me some of their meal.

Tuesday, the wind is picking up and is meant to get bad again towards the end of the week. Went on another double tank this morning to northern dive sites Reggies and Office. The viz was beautiful 15 to 20 metres, the temp was better than yesterday. At Reggies we had 3 reef mantas come past us, a huge old Loggerhead turtle swam past and slightly under me. I could see that something had taken a bite out of his shell (there was a section missing on the back right hand side) he swam round us and came back for another look. Another dive and another wonderful potato Grouper being very inquisitive, they love to get close and look at you as you look at them. After a surface interval floating on the surface for an hour and a half we went to the dive site Office, again beautiful clear viz, what made this dive was a giant manta came to the cleaning station. It was very chilled and didn’t mind us watching. The rest of the day the wind started to pick up sand blowing a storm down the road. There was a power cut from early in the afternoon until about 7.30 pm, I’d lit candles by then, when the power came back everything seems better. There has been another robbery in the area which really spooked me a little. Not opening windows and making sure doors closed.

Wednesday, this week is flying by. The wind is really up and it’s predicted to get worse the rest of the week. I still got an early morning dive to Giants Castle, I was leader. But the viz was about 4 metres and the current was howling, strange how conditions can change so quickly, due to the depth our bottom time was very short. Didn’t really see anything huge, but plenty of little things of interest. In 3 days this week so far I’ve done 5 dives, a good dive week. Spent time at the shop, Alice Cooper was taken home again by his owners; unless they shackle him to their house I think we’re going to be seeing more of him. He clearly likes it here, getting loved, petted and spoiled all the time. Once again I’m sure the geckos are pleased he’s gone, did find one that hadn’t fared well after a Alice Cooper encounter. No power again this afternoon, but It was on by the time I got home (woo hoo) unlike Tuesday.

Thursday was all about the dive of epicness. The wind is up and the sea is rough no one thought that there would be dives today. However one, then two dive centres went out so we decided to go. What a good decision. To be honest the actual sea was not as bad as I thought it would be, we went to Giants Castle which is in the bay so didn’t have to go far. As we dropped and the viz cleared there were 2 Giant Manta’s underneath me, again I was lucky to have Louis camera. Once the Manta’s had moved away from the area we were able to continue to drop towards the reef. They hung about quite near us for a while, then we got a visit from a small eye Sting Ray (the world’s largest Ray who can be about 2 metres at their widest, so there not small). Suddenly in my view I could see a Giant Manta and a Small eye at the same time. There were 4 of us in our group we just floated there watching these beautiful ocean giants. Once all that excitement drifted off, a large Grouper came to say hello and get in on the action. During all this in the background we had the sound of humpback’s signing was very loud, they were really so close, what an amazing bass line at 30 metres. Once on the surface bobbing about in the large waves we were all smiles and full of joy. On the boat our path was crossed by a number of humpbacks and then a Manta. Then things got very exciting as a Whale shark (the world’s largest fish, fact fans) appeared right next to us. We jumped in and had a very quick snorkel with it this was my 5^th in the last 7 or 8 days. A dive of total epicness (if this is not actually a word then it should be). For once video I took actually looked ok, what a wonderful dive.

Friday, what can I say? I’m off, and had a few things to do like visit the airport then Inhambane. I could have got a chappa part of the way to the airport then hitch or walk. I decided to treat myself as it’s a Friday and hired Thomas taxi; he took me to the airport where I changed my LAM (the Mozambique airline). This turned out to be simple and quick, I was expecting this process to take a while. In the end I was in and out in minutes. Thomas then took me to Inhambane and dropped me off. I went to get money from a cash point; the local one at the petrol station has been out of action as they have refurbished the bank and added another machine. I spent my time walking about taking pictures and looking in shops. I got some food in a supermarket and found a house fan. The one I have been using stopped working last night so I thought id treat myself to a new one. It’s not been hugely hot today but I decided to find some shade and watch the world go buy. I ended up at the location of the finishing line of the road race I did last Saturday. Sitting there I watched the ferry going to and from Maxixe (pronounced ‘ma-sheesh’), I must take the ferry one day. I called Thomas who picked me up to take me home, I noticed a lot of army and police officers along the route, it turns out that the president of Mozambique is arriving at Inhambane airport (the one I was at earlier). When I got home there was a ginger cat on the porch, Tiger didn’t seem too upset about this visitor. The ginger cat was meowing and wanting attention, but I can’t really give it any as I can’t allow it to live here (this is not my house and Tiger and Tank live here), so I felt terrible trying to ignore it. When I went to collect Tank the cat followed me part the way, I’m hoping it finds its way home or finds a good home. Poor sweetie I felt bad. I have to say is nice to be home with the girls.

This week I have seen a number of amazing, beautiful ocean giants. I don’t see how anyone could ever get bored seeing these wonderful creatures in their natural habitat, it is a privilege every time.

Misfits Mid Life Crisis Adventures in ………….. Mozambique.

Week 14, Saturday 20 to Friday 26 September 2014.

This week I have mainly been listening to….. Maddona, Queen, Velvet Underground, on VH1 (Des’ree “you gotta be”, Gabrielle “out of reach”, Sinead O’Conner “nothing compares 2 U”, Culture Club “Karma Chamaeleon” Natalie Imbruglia “Torn”), Portishead, Arcade Fire,

And have been watching…. Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery, Breaking Bad (season 5), Doctor Who “Time Heist” (eps5, season 8/34), Top Gear (UK, USA, OZ), The great and Powerful OZ, Star Trek “Into Darkness”

Saturday was as predicted a bad weather day, the sun didn’t come out the sky was full of dark clouds; however there wasn’t the rain that they thought might fall. The sea looked rough with mist on the horizon, choppy water but beautiful to look at. We didn’t launch so spent the morning at home. I did go in later and covered the shop for a couple of hours but didn’t deal with anyone. The rest of the day was spent in front of the computer and TV (some would say my natural habitat). I got on to Skype for new WHO but after 6 minutes the picture froze and couldn’t re-establish a good link. We’ll try again tomorrow.

Sunday was shop day for me, I spent the day working on my sci-fi storage list, this is the list of all the sci-fi shit I have collected. I admit there is some real shit there but there are also a number of gems that are worth good money. I just need to get someone interested, so I need to sort these lists out. We may have lost Alice cooper the cat today; his owners have returned and came over to the dive shop to claim him. He has been living at the shop for almost 2 weeks now, and has been a constant source of love and entertainment, though I suspect the geckos wouldn’t agree. I have in fact managed to save a number of gecko’s (big and small) from him during his stay, but he certainly got his fair share of the local population I would say. Will Alice be making an appearance in future, I hope so.  This evening I got a stable Skype link and watch a great new Who episode, it could have been Oceans Fourteen (It concerned a bank job) the script could have been written by the late great Douglas Adams (author of great Classic who, Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Dirk Gently). Am loving the older darker Who, and yes I remember previous older Who’s. In the evening I made a meal that wasn’t really edible, but I had to eat it. The rice was not properly cooked; I won’t be entering Masterchef this year. Some people have recently seen snakes in Tofo, I had a grasshopper in the house does that count as Mozambique wildlife….

Monday, I must have gotten out of the boat the wrong side. It’s not been a good day. We went on 2 dives, the first to the lovely “Giants Castle”, a huge Moray and a Small eye where seen, I was sweeping at the back all good. However during the surface interval I was a little sea sick bringing up the half cooked rice from last night, didn’t taste any better the second time around. The second dive was to Salon which I lead. The viz was not great, I got a little confused navigation wise and I was having trouble with my mask leaking (I’m going to have to use my new one from tomorrow, the old one will become my back up) having to unflood the mask every few minutes didn’t make the dive any more comfortable. I’m not a natural leader, I’m not a sheep but I prefer to follow I suppose. But being a DM is to lead, I have finished all the skills to be a DM but it’s obvious that I’m not ready I need to get lots of leading practise I’m not in a hurry I suppose so it doesn’t matter. I have 170 or 180 dives under my weight belt now, but I still think I’m a shit diver. I see people that have 30 or 40 dives who appear to be so much better than me, but then I feel like that about most things in life I suppose. Maybe I’ll never be a great diver, but I’d like to be good. When I look back at things I’m not really good at anything in particular, I can do a few things ok but nothing really well. It depresses me a little when I think about it, I hope tomorrow is a better day. I have to remember that I’m in a beautiful location with lovely people and just enjoy the experience. I went for a run to get the bad energy out of my mind. PIGWATCH I can confirm that the pig was seen having a late afternoon nap….. I could have done with a nap at that point, this end of PIGWATCH. The run was ok (again I’m not a natural runner even though I have been running for years, I’m old and fat and can just about run) what made the run fun was a small group of kids ran with me a for a while, these kids were smiling and laughing and clearly enjoying themselves, I have to remember happy children who don’t really have anything and how lucky I am when I’m feeling a little down.

Tuesday was a much better day. What made today so great was the return of Alice Cooper; it was so nice to have him laying around looking so relaxed. I didn’t see this myself, but Alice was seen chasing a monkey down the road. There are very few monkeys in the area but it’s rare to see them, I haven’t so far. I was out on Ocean safari had a great snorkel with a manta and then a whale shark; the whale shark was so close to the shore it was in very shallow water. We had to swim back out to the boat as it couldn’t get that close to the shore, this doesn’t happen very often. After the safari I I was looking forward to food, but I discovered I was set up for a dive. The dive to Giants castle was nice but nothing big spotted, at depth the whale’s song was so loud that my chest vibrated from the sound waves. As we were climbing back in to the boat 2 Humpbacks surfaced about 10 metres from us, everyone stayed in the water looking down in to it hoping to catch a glimpse of them, but the viz was just not good enough, the humpbacks were just out of visible range. Once back on dry land after de-rigging and cleaning everything up I went home starving as I still hadn’t eaten all day.

Wednesday. Another Ocean Safari, snorkelled with another Whale shark. However the highlight was a baby humpback whale that appeared to be lost. We had stopped in the bay to hand out finn, masks and snorkels when suddenly this baby surfaced right next to the boat. It appeared out of the water like a submarine so close to the boat. The baby swam round the boat a few times, it swam under the boat back and forth. I think the baby was lost and it thought that the boat was mum. The girls (the punters) on the boat were loving it, a couple may have been a little scared at first but they soon realised that the baby didn’t want to hurt us (such as topple us out of the boat, was one comment from a young woman to me). After a few minutes Mum surfaced and she was huge, this is what the baby needed it turned and swam straight to her. Our Captain said to me that he had never experienced anything like this before. What a wonderful moment in my life, and yes I didn’t have a camera. One of the girls on the safari did have a camera and I’m hoping that she got some shots. Other than that on safari I bashed my knee getting in to the boat during the launch and cut my leg after collecting some rubbish (a large bucket) from floating in the sea. I spent the rest of the day on shop duty. This evening I nearly got an electric shock, I trod on the power cable that runs from the fan to the plug, I just happened to stop on a section covered with electrical tape (never noticed it before). There was a bang and a puff of smoke, a horrible smell, I definitely jumped and made a yelp. I’ve also started looking in to changing my flight’s….

Thursday was supposed to have been a double tank this morning, but as we approached the dive site the boat developed an engine problem, this meant we limped home on one engine. Eventually it became clear that there was no dive so put equipment away. I hung about the dive centre, Alice Cooper turned up there were a couple of new dogs there so I was trying to keep Alice away from them. It’s a public holiday, Revolution Day. The beach and market were packed with music coming from sound systems all over the place. I have found flights leaving on 15^th December from South Africa to London however I have to ring the UK, I have just spent all my credit trying to get through “Press 1 for this, 2 for that, 3 for anything else, 4 if you have forgotten something, 5 go on, you know you want to”. I have asked if I can do it on line the answer came back “NO”. The result of this is I have now booked a completely new flight from Johannesburg to London on 15 December on Etihad Airways about £60 cheaper than what last minute were quoting me. I still need to do the Inhambane (Mozambique) to Joberg section, there is a flight I can get but I have to go to Inhambane airport to arrange this, so need to sort this out soon. Because I’m staying longer, I will need to find a new place to live from start of November as Martina and family return. And in early December I will have to do a visa run again. Had a good run this afternoon, however on PIGWATCH the pig was not seen, there were a couple of Bullocks in the field…… Bullocks, I’m sure there’s a joke there somewhere. All is good in Mozambique…

Friday, I did another ocean Safari and my 3^rd Whale Shark this week. These giants of the ocean are amazing so beautiful and gentle, I love swimming with them. The water was clear and so refreshing, after sitting on the boat for a couple of hours. For Oceans Safaris I’m now wearing my shortee wetsuit (which I used for triathlons) because it’s just too hot to be sitting on a boat in a full length gimp suit (there are some people, who I hear pay good money for that). I mention the shortee wetsuit because i have tan lines on my knees; it’s only really noticeable if you look carefully. Every couple of weeks I re dye my hair, do my roots (there’s still a little vanity in me still). I’m almost out and will have to buy some more soon, tonight’s session hasn’t gone as well as normal, the sun has really made my hair very light in colour almost blond in places and the dye stands out a little too much now…. Oops. I think everyone has a bad dye story that’s mine.

Tomorrow I’m taking part in a 10k run in Inhambane….

End of week 14, 3 great Whale Sharks, Alice Cooper the cat came to visit and a lost baby humpback found its mum, what a week. I am having the best time ever, there is nothing to hate about Tofo or Mozambique.

Misfits Mid Life Crisis Adventures in ………….. Mozambique.

Week 13.

This week I have mainly been listening to….. The Pet Shop Boys, Cyndi Lauper, P.J Harvey, Suede, Morrissey, Goldfrapp

And have been watching…. I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry, Doctor Who “Listen” (eps 4, S8/34), The Hunger Games, lots and lots of Top Gear, Breaking Bad (season 5),

Saturday, started with a double tank however the highlight of the morning was the 10 dolphins during the surface interval. I got in the water and watched the 10 of them swimming around and playing with each other, you could hear them clicking and squeaking so loudly. Oh one of them, how can I put this nicely, did a poo in front of me and I ended up swimming in to the white stringy material. Yes you are reading the rambling’s of a woman that has swam in to Dolphin poo, woo hoo. Later I went for a run and nearly got knocked down by a quad bike. I was on the side of the tarmac as usual and the bike approached, as it continued to come in my direction I ran off the tarmac on to the dirt part of the road and stopped. But he carried on towards me; he was really coming straight for me. Luckily he turned at the last moment, I’m not going to lie but it shook me up. The recent robberies have worried me a little; I am leaving lights on at night. During days when I’m off when and I go out (like on a run or shopping) I leave the TV on this is because from outside it sounds muffled, giving the impression that the place is occupied. I am also hiding my stuff in the bed with me at night, it looks like I have someone sleeping next to me, but of course if they want to they will find things.

Sunday, there’s no petrol at the petrol station so the dives today were cancelled. I had a nap and then made my way slowly to the dive shop to collect the key as I’m on shop tomorrow. As I was walking I moved off the road to allow a car to pass, I managed to get a little too close to a large security gate, a huge dog jumped over it and barked at me. I froze and stood there for a moment I was just waiting for it to clamp its jaws on my lardy ass. It just stayed by the gate, I slowly carried on walking and didn’t look back……phew that was close. I met Miki today and he told me that he was going to the boarder tomorrow and might not get back in the country. It’s strange to think that I may never see him again; Tofo is a place where people come and go including me I suppose. Very few people actually settle down and stay for ever, in fact Leo leaves end of the week. Everyone that was here when I arrived is going or gone it’s sad. It got me thinking of my plans, I have no plans. I’m due to be here till 1 November but my visa ends 20 December so I want to look in to extending my flights. Once I become a DM I need to earn a little moment to help me along this is because I don’t have any skills that I can use to help make money. I would love to stay longer if I could make enough money to make it work I really love it here. If I do have to go home then the plan would be to work hard for 3 or 4 months try to save as much as possible then sod off again, Thailand or Indonesia are places where even I might get work as a DM and live cheaply. But as you can tell I have no real place.

Monday up early as I was shop, to be honest it was a slow day. We got petrol so we will be able to dive tomorrow. I spend the morning reading the Radio script to “The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy”; Alice Cooper kept me company which was nice. In the afternoon I got wet helping Birgit do her stress test, we were at the bottom of the pool buddy breathing while exchanging our equipment, all good. The pool was lovely as its becoming summer so you really feel the heat during the day; I think it’s much hotter in the morning. Yes am drinking lot of water and the occasional Sprite. Said goodbye to Alice Cooper at the end of the day, he gets in and out of the dive shop, he has food and water but I feel bad that he is on his own all night. But it can’t be helped, I can’t take him home as it’s not my place and it wouldn’t be fair to T&T. If I had my own place then I would actually consider taking him home. Skyped a little in the afternoon with Mum and Hel while at the dive shop, I think mum like Alice…

Tuesday, summer is definitely here it’s getting hotter every day. I’m not a sun lover you won’t find me laying out in the sun wanting a tan. Went on a lovely dive to Giants Castle this morning saw a couple of huge moray’s. As we came up for our safety stop we were engulfed in a shoal of small eye Trevally a very impressive site. Once on the surface I did my 800 metre snorkel in which you cannot use your arms. I just kept heading for the boat, every time I got near the engines started and off they went. At one point I spotter 6 to 8 Devil Rays swimming in the opposite direction about 5 to 10 metres below me. What made it extra special is only I saw them, they were my Devil Rays; I’d like to think they were cheering me on. I got a score of 4, 5 is the highest mark so a 4 is not bad. In the afternoon I went for my run ++++ PIGWATCH, I saw the pig I waved but it didn’t wave back, but I’m sure were still friends. That’s the end of PIGWATCH ++++. I had a number of small children running with me, as always I’m trying to get them to run behind me or on the dirt track next to the tarmac, I’d feel terrible if someone got hurt coz they were running with me. The electricity has died (power cuts) a number of times this evening, hoping it will stay on now.

Wednesday, happy humpday to all. I was an unconscious diver today and rescued then brought up to the surface and finally pulled on the boat. Don’t worry it was all a training exercise for Louis as part of his DM course, before that we were noodling about Clownfish reef very nice. Once back on dry land I stayed in my wetsuit as I went with Birgit on ocean safari with 5 punters. Nice couple of hours, a number of dolphins (which we didn’t get in with due to the fact that humpbacks were also quite close) very near us. We also had some mum and baby humpback action, the baby was rolling over in what might be considered sunbathing its tummy. Lovely snorkel near the end of the safari was just nice to get in the water. Said good bye to Leo today he leaves tomorrow morning, I met Leo at Joberg airport coming here so we literally arrived together. Another face leaving, it is sad when people go. Will miss his lovely chocolate cake and bread, we should have got him to make a load that we could have frozen. Been shop sitting this afternoon as the others are out on another training dive, Alice Cooper the cat is snuggled up to me asleep, Bundo the dog is also asleep, I could do with a nap now….. When I got home I found I had no water, the water pump was not working. I had to go back to the market and buy a 5ltr bottle, as I arrived at home I noticed my neighbour watering his garden. I took an empty 5ltr bottle and asked if he’d fill up, which he kindly did. You don’t realise how much water you get through, I had a cheap and cheerful shower/wash in the garden with large cups of water. I have contacted the landlord he can’t make it till Sat, until I’ll have to borrow or buy water and use it sparingly.

Thursday, went on a lovely dive to one of my fave deep sites Sherwood Forest which has a lots of green tree corals which is how the site got its name. I lead the dive, this meant I did the dive briefing at the start and then led the group at depth from the front. A huge grouper appeared out of the blue and sailed past Nadia and I so closely. I was in shop so spent the rest of the day at the dive shop sorted out things and generally made sure that everything was in order, did a little clearing up. I had some quality time with Alice Cooper the cat. I found out why there’s no water, the bill has not been paid. When I got the bill I paid the money straight away, it appears that the money or previous money has not reached the water company. So fingers crossed I get water soon. Bought 10ltrs after work and filled up another bottle 1.5ltr at the dive shop before I left. I also had a make shift shower a quick wash at the dive shop I took some shampoo and stuff in with me, at the end of the day when no one way around just did it.   I got home and guess what no electric, inside I wanted to scream…. I sat in candle light listening to my kindle lying on the sofa and dozed, the power came on at 8pm. My evening just got better.

Around 1.30am I discovered I had water, I flushed the loo without thinking (that I didn’t have water) I could clearly hear water flushing. I opened the tap and sure enough there was lots of aqua. I quickly filled all the empty water bottles; my thinking was maybe there is only water for a couple of hours and I want to make sure I had enough. In the morning I found that I still had water, in fact as I type this there is water, all I can think of is that the bill has been paid possibly last night and the water company put me back on the system. It’s strange that it happened at night, but I’m not going to question it. Had a good early morning run, didn’t see the Pig but then again it was only about 7.30am. Went on an ocean safari with a family including 3 children, 2 hadn’t snorkelled before so I did a little class on the first step of the pool with mum and dad present. The little ones got the hang of it straight away. The sea is a little rough again, but we had lots of Dolphins and a few humpbacks. We did get in but the Dolphins didn’t want to play. I did a little shopping and am planning to spend the night with T&T.

End of week 13, I have pretty much finished my Dive Master course my snorkel test won’t be far away. It’s becoming summer here, the temperature has definitely increased but being by the sea there is usually a breeze. I’m still having fun….