Week 16, Saturday 4 to 10 October 2014.

Misfits Mid Life Crisis Adventures in ………….. Mozambique.

Week 16, Saturday 4 to 10 October 2014.


This week I have mainly been listening to….. Arcade Fire, P.J Harvey, Nancy Sinatra “These boots are made for walking” Morrissey, Sophie B Hawkins “Damn I wish I was your lover”.

And have been watching…. The Hobbit, An Unexpected Journey. The Hobbit, The Desolation of Smaug. Doctor Who “Kill the Moon” (ep7 season 8/34). Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery. Top Gear USA & Top Gear Ambitious but Rubbish (both on BBC Entertainment). Drop Dead Fred. The Lord of the Rings, Fellowship of the Ring.

Saturday, I was at the shop for 7am, after helping get equipment ready for the morning dive i spent time working on my Sci-fi shit lists (yes there still not completed). I was lucky enough to be able to go home late morning as I wasn’t needed. I spent the time wisely and decided to visit Middle Earth, which I always enjoy (no visa required) and started at the beginning with the “The Hobbit, An Unexpected Journey”. While watching Bilbo and the dwarfs fight for their lives I could hear what sounded like moaning. Looking out of the window I discover that Geri Haliwell the ginger pussy was back, spread out on the concrete outside in the sunshine and meowing for all the world to hear. After the film I went for my first run in a week (this was due to my knee feeling dodgy). The run was good, plenty of people waving and saying hello. I bumped in to a couple of people I know including Joseph who works at Liquid. Some children said hello and a boy pulled out a dead squirrel from a bag, not sure what the conversion rate of meticais in exchange for a dead Squirrel is, I said “no thanks” politely. Still not see the Pig, had a good look in the field, PIGWATCH may have ended. Came home and returned to Middle earth for the second Hobbit film. Geri Haliwell is still around making a lot of noise. Skyped with my sister and saw new Who.

Sunday, not a lot really happened I was at the shop spent time with Alice Cooper, I met the new DMT Anna who seemed very nice. Birgit’s boyfriend has arrived so she will be leaving soon; I still haven’t got used to people leaving after getting to know them. I went home in the afternoon and finished watching the second Hobbit film. Geri Haliwell has returned, both Tiger and Tank are a little upset; I tried to walk Geri down the road and away from the house. It didn’t work. I felt so tired during the early evening that I definitely nodded a few times.

Monday morning and Geri is still here, really don’t know what to do. Went to the shop and went on a double tank, 2 really good dives excellent viz but nothing big was seen at depth. Under water you could hear humpbacks and dolphins; we looked around but couldn’t see any of them. During the surface interval between dives we had humpbacks breeching on the surface we went over for a look so magnificent, they will soon be leaving Mozambique waters to head south towards the Antarctic. After spending time t the shop I went home and guess what Geri was still there? I got ready for a run and Geri followed me down the road. I then bumped in to someone I have met a few times who told me he thinks he knows who the cat belongs to, I texted the possible owner. The run was good enjoyed it a lot; it actually felt easy for once. Again I had a number of little children running with me, some ask for sweets. When I leave I must get lots of sweets to hand out (that of course might not be a good idea, will have to think about it). I got home and Geri was still here, this time both Tiger and Tank were getting upset and stressed, I did something I’m not proud of I threw a cup of water over Ginger spice, the wet pussy sped away. About an hour later I get a call from the possible owner, it could be his cat and now it’s nowhere to be seen. Bloody typical I will keep an eye out for Geri, feel really bad about what I did, but at the time I didn’t have a choce.

Tuesday was a day of helping nature, I rescued 2 gecko’s (one very small and one large) from Alice Coopers jaws, distract him with food and he drops the gecko and I scooped them up. The large one showed its appreciation by nipping me on the finger. A spider was trapped in a glass at the dive centre, I felt I had to help it. The last time I saw it the spider it was crawling across the grass away from the dive shop. Yesterday I noticed a large ant walking around the base of the shower, when Tiger saw it the ant ran for the plug hole. Tonight I saw an ant (I felt it was the same one) so I managed to get it in a glass and off in to the garden it went. After what happened with Geri (the ginger cat) yesterday I think I’m feeling very guilty. Geri hasn’t returned yet, I do hope that he’s (the cats a boy) ok out there. Today I went on a dive that didn’t go as planned, I had the reel and due to the current it was decided that I’d go straight down to the reef and wait for everyone to drop. When I got down the current was howling I made the decision to drop further and cling on. As I drifted across the surface I made a grab at rocks, cracks something to cling on to, one I decided to not use as a large lobster made it his home and I didn’t think she would approve of me hanging on to the front door. I found a nice flat spot and with my right hand I held on tight, with my left hand I kept hold of the reel the full 50metres of line was deployed. After a decent amount of time I made the decision to ascend. I let go of the rock and drifted immediately reeling in the line. After what felt like a long time I reached the surface and signalled to the boat. It turned out that the current was too string for the rest of the group to stay with the line and aborted the dive.


Wednesday was all about the snorkel test in the evening. But before that there was what was my last dive as a DMT today was dive 79 in Tofo since end of June. The dive today was to Giants Castle again the location of yesterday’s dive. We all dropped and found the viz was slightly better then yesterday but only just. There was a current which was also a little less then I remember from the previous dive. We drifted along nicely occasionally holding on here and there. Saw an amazing Honeycomb Moray maybe 6 or so feet long free swimming out in the open, this is not something you see often during the day (this is more a night time activity) normally you see them poking there head out of a hole. This one didn’t seem to be bothered by 5 divers drifting near it. We also saw a Smalleye ray (the word largest ray), I think it was as surprised to see us in the bad viz as we were it. Later went to Casa Barry or food and drink but to also look in to booking my old room from end of October, as Martina and family will be back. Spend the afternoon resting getting ready for the evening. The moon was full I arrived at Mozambeats bar about 7pm, I ordered a plate of chips and had a drink, soon everyone arrived and it was time for the party to start. Once everyone was gathered Birgit and I were handed our snorkels that had half a plastic water bottle taped to the top. Then a concoction of drink was poured down it, I started to drink and drink, you can’t really breath its very uncomfortable I felt my tummy swell up straight away from the drink and the gas. I had to take the snork out of my mouth a couple of times liquid poured on to my legs. But it was soon over. Then came the shots not sure how many I had. After this there was a slight moment of vomiting only a little came out. Birgit and I were then presented with our reef that we had to describe it was called The Orifice in honour to the local site The Office. The picture was as expected rude, Birgit and I did our briefing to the crowd I don’t remember details but I seem to remember that we got Patrick one of Liquids captain involved in the briefing. Overall it was a little messy but fun, think the crowds were entertained.


Thursday Morning I felt like shit, I didn’t do much at all, I slept and slept. My handbag didn’t make it home but it’s been found safe and sound that’s the main thing. The afternoon I felt like shit and didn’t do anything but look on the net and watch TV. I had a text from Louis to say that the Owl pendant I lost a couple of months ago has been found, I suspected it was at the shop and sure enough it was found there. I went to Middle Earth again watching “The Lord of the Rings, The fellowship of the Ring”. Yes I didn’t do much today.

Friday the clouds look thick not a lot of sun shone through as a result it was very humid. I went on a dive to Salon, Anna and I did some mapping of the site, we have a rough start but it needs more work. Even though there was a lot of wind and the waves were high it was great to be in the water again. Nadia was going to a party and wanted a hippy headdress. I found some wire and making tape and got some flowers. The first version was a little over the top, probably more Hobbit wedding then Woodstock which is what Nadia wanted to. So I stripped the frame down and started again with just white flowers, less is more in a situation like that. After about an hour Nadia had a hippy headdress, never made anything like that before it went well (I’m available for weddings etc….). Oh Geri Haliwell has been found by his owner, I saw them in the street today I’am so relieved I was feeling very guilty. I have also finished writing the first draft of “Alice, the little lost Humpback” it needs a lot of work, I have worked out VERY rough story boards but need to work out the drawings, I also need paper and paints or crayons or something. I went on my run another good one, but it’s never really easy there are sections (up a couple of hills that I hate), the people along the route always make the run interesting and fun. A message to my mum and Hel still no Pig… very sad. I’ve made my self feel a little sick this evening drinking beer and Sprite making a sort of larger and lime, better not have anymore….


What a week, I became a Dive professional; I got very drunk and was only a little sick. I upset a Cat and tried to make a difference by helping a few strange animals, and got nipped by a Gecko. I have had another great week in Tofo, I really don’t want to leave.

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