Misfits Mid-Life Crisis……..

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East and West London (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 181 Saturday 2^nd December until Friday 8^th December 2017. 

Happy bday this week to MOZ, SAZ & Helen on 3/12  and Nico on 5/12.

I have been back at work a week, apart from short periods over the years when I became a bed hogging scally I have continually worked since 1988/89.  And of course it goes without saying I always had a warm welcoming smile on my face (in this paragraph admittedly there is a lie; I’ll let you guess what it is).

 “Two free drinks for one mouth”.

Over 2017 shamefully I admit that my personal southern equatorial region has spread more than it should have.  This last week travelling to and from work I have come to realise that the early morning / late afternoon madness of travelling around the capital is very much like an exercise routine.  Of course I’d prefer to be in a swimming pool exercising every muscle including my brain trying to remember how many lengths completed.  Or enjoying “classic “Top Gear” while pounding my already creaky knees on a treadmill.

  “Bloody Rugby, that’s all i will say”.

From the moment my alarm sounds I’m using lots of energy.  Speeding around the house desperately trying not to wake others who are sensibly still sleeping is using nervous energy. Rushing to the station taking huge steps like Neil Armstrong walking in the moons 1/6th gravity, is pushing my leg muscles to the limit.  Travelling on various tubes and trains waiting on packed platforms keeping one eye on the clock and the other looking for the lights of the approaching next train.  Once it has arrived my eye muscle are working overtime looking for an empty seat.  Getting on a packed train is always challenging, especially if it’s standing room only hopefully the surrounding passengers will act as a cushion when the train suddenly comes to an unannounced stop, this exercises my arm and core muscles.  One activity that really gets the blood pumping is running up multiple very long escalators at Waterloo.  Once at my final destination there’s no rest, it’s another fast walk not stopping for anything.  It has crossed my mind if I saw some money on the ground how big would the denomination have to be for me to stop.  All of this rushing around twice a day must be using calories.

 “Are these the prettiest cranes in the Capital”.

Maybe this is how I can make my millions, developing a workout routine involving travelling around capital twice a day in a hurry.  However I should first finish the packet Doritos I’m eating while writing this ramble before others take up my exercise plan.

  “Two views from lunch, i always seem to find myself near the loo.  Please shut the door”.

The stress and pressure of the daily rat race is so unnatural.  I hope I’m not like most of my fellow commuters whose faces are blank and emotionless.  Who for the couple of hours during the morning and late afternoon appear to have lost all sense of common courtesy?  Many of them act as if they only see “RED”.

 “Hopefully this extra head will make me a little more sensible”.

I hate rush hour in the capital and remember with fondness my daily commute walking barefoot on the deserted beach of Tofo in Mozambique.  I say deserted except for lots of crabs scuttling around and the odd fishermen.  Sadly I never fully appreciated the peace and serenity at that time.

  “Its cold, but pretty this December”.

It’s only been a week that I have been doing this long journey; I am still experimenting with different times and routes.  One day I hope to find the perfect one which might allow some breathing time between trains, not worrying about getting a seat and constantly worry that the train I am on could be taken out of service at any time.

   “Hey looking stylish…..”
And Now For Something Completely Different…..

 “Guess who!!!”.

If you have been reading this shiz for the last few weeks you will know that I have designed some cards.  There very abstract and could be used for any occasion.  Thanks to the lovely Aggy Fox (go to www.andykapadia.com for more information) the cards are available to buy.

   “Three different card designs”.

If you are in the UK, one card is £2.50, three cards £6.00 or six cards £11.00 (with the three and six card packages you can have the same design or your choice) plus 2nd class postage 76p for each order.  For international orders message me on Facebook at Dana Lucas or Misfitscully.

 “Being very distracted while writing this shiz”.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

 This week I have mainly been watching:  

“Angel”, (S1, ep 18 to ep 22)(S2, ep 1).  “Click”, (TX 02/12/17).  “Detectorist”, (S3, ep 5).  “For The Love Of Spock”, (2016).  “Have I Got News For You”, (S54, ep 8: TX 01/12/17)(ep 9: TX 08/12/17).  “How To Build A robot”, (TX 29/11/17).  “I’m A Celebrity…. Get Me Out Of Here!”, (S17, ep 14: TX 02/12/17)(ep 15: TX 03/12/17)(ep 16: TX 04/12/17)(ep 17: TX 05/12/17)(ep 18: TX 06/12/17)(ep 19: TX 07/12/17).  “LWT (London Weekend Television), Construction of The LWT South Bank TV Centre”, (1972).  “Laurel & Hardy: Country Hospital”, (1932): “Them Thar Hills”, (1934): “Tit For Tat”, (1935).  “Man Down”, (S3, ep 6).  “Robot Wars”, (S10, ep 6: TX 03/12/17).  “Star Trek (Original Series)”, (S2, ep 19 to 26)(S3, ep 1 to ep 9).  “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine”, (S5, ep 6).  “Storyville: the Farthest, Voyagers Interstellar Journey”, (TX 30/11/17).  “The Apprentice”, (S13, ep 10: TX 06/12/17).  “The Apprentice: Honest Subtitles”, (S3, ep 10: TX 06/12/17).  “The Apprentice: Your Fired”, (S12, ep 10 TX 06/12/17).  “The Golden Girls”, (S5, ep 7 to ep 21).  “The Graham Norton Show”, (S22, ep 9).  “The History Boys”, (2006).  “The Last Leg”, (S12, ep 10: TX 01/12/17).  “The League Of Gentlemen”, (S1, ep 5).  “The Making Of Trial And Tribble ations (ST:DS9)”, (TX 04/11/96).  “The Sex Robots Are Coming”, (TX 30/11/17).  “Turkey With Simon Reeves”, (S1, ep 1: TX 26/03/17)(ep 2: TX 02/04/17).                

This week I have mainly been listening to:   “Anarchic Audio: Punny You Should Say That”, (ep 4, 17/10/17).  “Craigslost (From Dazed And Convicted)”, (ep 122, 30/07/15)(ep 123, 19/12/15).  “Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 22, 08/12/17).  “Iain Lee Old Bits: Stephen Murdoch IT Helpline, 27/04/16”, (04/12/17): “Richard Herring, 06/06/17”, (05/12/17): “Facebook Babies, 13/01/17”, (06/12/17): “Will Stor”, 06/06/17”, (07/12/17).  “In Poor Taste”, (ep 86, 03/12/17).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (07/12/17).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (02/12, 08/12/17).  “Murder Under The Midnight Sun”, (S1, ep 1: pt1, 13/05/17).  “NASA Gravity Assist”, (ep 4, 06/12/17).  “NASA In Silicon Valley”, (ep 70, 22/11/17)(ep 71, 07/12/17).  “Pints And Puzzles”, (S1, ep 5, 11/12/16)(ep 6, 06/02/17).  “The Aggy Fox Podcast”, (ep 24, 07/12/17).  “The Mad Scientist Podcast”, (ep 33, 02/12/17).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 37, 07/12/17).  “Young Free And Coupled”, (ep 22, 12/12/17).  “Morrissey”,  “Bear Naked Ladies”,  “The Wombats”,  “Belle And Sabastian”,  “Tatu”,  ”SIA”,  “PJ Harvey”, “Artic Monkeys”, “Nirvana”.    

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East, West London and Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 180 Saturday 25^th November until Friday 1^st December 2017.

2017 has been a year of feeling like the new kid at school.  Over the last 334 days I have had more jobs than ever, that’s the life of a temp.  Years ago the phrase temp, usually meant a woman (but of course there were men) who worked traditionally in an office as a secretary for a few days, possibly weeks at a time.

   “Early Crimbum fun with lovely ladies”.

In 2017 temping seems to be how most people are employed.  The idea of being an actual employee of an organisation or company is becoming rarer all the time.  Most people I know are temporary, there are some friends who have temping at a location for years, never gaining permanent status and as a result don’t enjoy the same benefits of their institutionalized colleagues.

 “Showing my support for Iain Lee, keep him in the Jungle, #Teamiain”.

Perks that long term temps receives include knowing where the coffee machine is and how it works.  Some temps even find out where the secret stash of paper towels are hidden.  A temporary worker knows that they have been accepted when they are allowed to use the communal office fridge.  This is the kind of domestic appliance which is cleaned possibly twice a year.  Its only if a permanent member of staff complains about a smell drifting from the back of the fridge, that a cleaning rota is drawn up which will only last for a couple of months until everyone is bored.

  “Travelling to work, i was being followed, the app proved it”.

As I said at the top of this ramble this has been a year of temporary work, because the jobs have lasted a number of months I did discover where the coffee machine was and how it worked.  However I never I bothered to look for the secret stash of paper towels, because I never spilled anything.

 “Watching M16 from the train”.

When I arrive at a new office one of the first things I do is to find the loos furthest away from the office.  That’s not because I’m worried about strange smells offending others.  It’s so I can stay away from the office for as long as possible without taking the mick.  If the only facility is right next to the office then I have learned to wee very slowly, and spend a lot of time washing my hands a little like a surgeon.  I find it’s an excellent waste of time.

  “Bunnies, got to love a bunny”.

This week I started a new job doing a job I swore I would never do again, but I’m desperate for money.  I’m not proud.  After a couple of days I can report that the coffee machine and the sink have both been located. Neither of them I will try to use if possible.  An office rota will be going round shortly after I caught a whiff from the fridge as it was opened when passing. Unfortunately I haven’t so far discovered the loos furthest from my desk, that’s on next week’s agenda.  If I am still in post next spring then I’ll go on an expedition in search for the secrets stash of paper towels.

 “Recording a podcast with the lovely Aggy Fox”.

One thing that made the first day easier was I discovered that the trainer was a fellow Sci-Fi geek.  We were able to identify each other straight away through a series of special secret nods and winks.  We spent a lot of the day chatting about obscure 70/80s film and TV progs when he was supposed to be showing me the office computer system.  Maybe he will show me where the secret stash of paper towels are hidden.  Information, knowledge is currency in an office.

 “London looking colourful at night”.

Being a temp does make me feel like the new kid at school.  I probably look like a baby deer trapped in headlights with bulging eyes as I look around trying to take in my new environments.  Actually I quite like this temping lark, part of me doesn’t want to make too many friends who become overly familiar.  I would rather remain anonymous, this means no one will notice me looking for the secret stash of paper towels.

  “Chips and a red cup, whats not to like”.

And Finally…..

 “Ive spent a lot of time on trains this week, sorry”.

Sitting in the living room when a Magpie hit the window.  Looking outside the bird was ok, but I noticed there were 5 others all in the front garden.  This looked like an avian lynch mob.

 “Writing this shiz, while “Kirk and Spock” distracted me”.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“Click”, (TX 25/11/17).  “Detectorist”, (S3, ep 4).  “Finding Nemo”, (2003).  “For The Birds”, (2000).  “Frailty”, (2001).  “Have I Got News For You”, (S54, ep 7: TX 24/11/17).  “I’m A Celebrity…. Get Me Out Of Here!”, (S17, ep 7: TX 25/11/17)(ep 8: TX 26/11/17)(ep 9: TX 27/11/17)(ep 10: TX 28/11/17)(30 11: TX 29/11/17)(ep 12: TX 30/11/17)(ep 13: TX 01/12/17).  “Lorraine”, (TX 29/11/17).  “Mikes New Car”, (2002).  “Motherland”, (S1, ep 5).  “Monsters Inc”, (2001).  “Robot Wars”, (S10, ep 5).  “Star Trek (Original Series)”, (S2, ep 2 to 18).  “The Apprentice”, (S13, ep 9: TX 29/11/17).  “The Apprentice: Honest Subtitles”, (S3, ep 9: TX 29/11/17).  “The Apprentice: Your Fired”, (S12, ep 9: TX 29/11/17).  “The Golden Girls”, (S5, ep1 to ep 6).  “The Graham Norton Show”, (S22, ep 8).  “The Last Leg”, (S12, ep 9: TX 24/11/17).  “The League Of Gentlemen”, (S1, ep 4)(making: TX 04/02/00).              

This week I have mainly been listening to:   

“Craigslost (From Dazed And Convicted)”, (ep 124, 06/02/16).  “Don’t Quit Your Daycast”, (ep 8, 12/03/12).  “Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 21, 01/12/17).  “Iain Lee Old Bits: Adam Buxton, 05/03/16”, (24/11/17): “The Bushey Area, 19/04/16”, (27/11/17): “Ronnie Spector, 24/03/16”, (28/11/17): “The Inbetweeners, 20/04/16”, (29/11/17): “Patty Boyd, 21/07/16”, (01/12/17).  “In Poor Taste”, (ep 11, 01/03/15)(ep 12, 09/03./15)(ep 74, 02/07/17)(ep 75, 11/07/17).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (30/11/17).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (24/11, 25/11, 01/12/17).  “NASA Gravity Assist”, (ep 3, 29/11/17).  “NASA In Silicon Valley”, (ep 70, 30/1/17).  “Pints And Puzzles”, (S1, ep 2: 24/10/16)(S1, ep 3; 07/11/16)(S1, ep 4: 02/11/16).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 66, 24/11/17)(ep 67, 01/12/17).  “Strange Times”, (ep 243, 24/11/17).  “The Adam Buxton”, (ep 58 & 59, 26/11/17).  “The Aggy Fox Podcast”, (ep 23, 23/11/17).  “The DHB Radio Show”, (ep 7, 22/03/11)(ep 8, 28/03/11).  “The Mad Scientist Podcast”, (S1, ep 1: 17/05/16)(S1, ep 2: 22/05/16).  “The Nick Abott Habit”, (ep 17, 30/11/17).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 37, 30/11/17).  “Young Free And Coupled”, (ep 1, 25/05/17)(ep  21, 25/11/17).  “Morrissey”,  “Smiths”,  “Kate Bush”,  “David Bowie”,  “Little Miss Sunshine (OST)”,  ”Elton John”,  “The Psychedelic Furs”.    

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East , West and Central London & Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 179 Saturday 18^th November until Friday 24^th November 2017. 

In this age of amazing space probes (VOYAGER 1 & 2) which continue to work after 40 yrs of travelling through the hard vacuum of interstellar space.  Or the fact that we can travel anywhere within 24 hrs.  Or that billions of us are walking around with more computing power in our pockets than what NASA used to get Neil Armstrong and his boys to the moon.  Or that Jezzer Clarkson, James May and Richard Hammond still have the best jobs in the world.  And finally, that after 54 years we will have a female doctor who this Crimbum.

   “Saw Paddington 2 with a friend”.

The reason I have rambled on for 108 word is because it’s nice to see that in 2017 some things remain as they were.  My nephew “The JBomb” has been cast in his first (I think) nativity.  He recently came home with a scrap of paper that stated what his lines were and songs he needed to learn.  His part is integral to the plot of this annual fantasy story; he is the “INN KEEPER”.

  “I always get a thrill going over the level crossing”.

After all the wonderful things that I mentioned in the first paragraph it’s nice to see that somethings don’t actually change. The note he brought home also mentioned that his costume would consists of a tea towel on his head and a sheet wrapped around him tied up by a dressing gown or piece of string* (* delete as appropriate).  I suspect he will be the best dressed “Inn Keeper” the nursery has ever seen.

 “Looking toward the big smoke”.

And Now For Something Completely Different…..

My niece “Anoodle” and I have recently been visiting a local coffee shop.  She enjoys her juice and biscuit/cake of course, but one thing that gives her more satisfaction from is “driving the lift”.  Usually I am carrying not just my bag, but her school bag, occasionally her scooter as well as the tray with hot and cold drinks plus other overly expensive products which will be demolished within seconds of sitting down.  So taking the lift makes things a little easier.

 “There’s never a ticket inspector around when you want one”.

The lift that she drives is a poor excuse for an elevator; it’s really just a floor and a small control panel that rises up and down the shaft.  Anoodle loves to press the button and watch the glass door disappear.  Once we’re out the gaze of others she likes to lift her finger off the button (you have to keep the button pressed to make the lift move) so that the lift stops.  This allows us a couple of seconds to dance like loons.  It is at this time I always remember to look up the shaft at the first floor door above us, anyone looking down would see us.

  “Anyone fancy a wildlife fry up”.

Personally I have a thing for a large button, even one printed with large friendly letters saying “DON’T TOUCH”.  It’s time to admit that I have previous when it comes to lifts.  A long time ago in Paris on the Champs-Elysees “MOZ” and I stopped for directions, while she pulled out a map; I become distracted by a large glass box on the pavement.  Of course there were buttons written in French and I pressed one.

 “Doctor Who fans, following others”.

The next thing I knew I was descending into what appeared to be an underground carpark. After pressing more buttons in panic, a disembodied female French voice spoke to me. Unfortunately I don’t speak French, it didn’t take long for the voice to realise this.  The lift suddenly returned to street level.  There was my friend busily studying her map, she hadn’t noticed that I had gone anywhere.  I only escaped because a kind passer by altered her to the fact her friend was trapped in a large glass box.  This story has been told many times over the years, usually after an incident involving me pressing a strange button.

 “Rescue the Reigate Two”.

Back to the coffee shop, my niece now knows what each buttons does.  She regularly likes to stop my heart by hovering her hand over the emergency bell button or the twisty one which would stop the lift immediately.  One day her hand will slip (accidentally, of course) and the bell will sound around the coffee shop.  Of course if that happens, I will do the responsible thing and blame the child.  I fear my love for pressing buttons may have been rubbed off on her.  I’m sure that’s what an Aunty is for……

 “Bumping in to friends in Twickenham”.

And Finally…..

Had an interview in a posh part of town, got a job start next week.

    “The cards i have designed, under the name Misfitscully”.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts…… 

 “Eating, while supposed to be writing this shiz”.

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“Asian Provocateur”, (S1, ep 1: TX 30/09/15)(ep 2: TX 05/10/15)(ep 3: TX 14/10/15)(ep 4: TX 21/10/15)(ep 5:TX 28/10/15)(ep 6: TX 04/11/15).  “Bob The Builder”, (S20, ep 22).  “Click”, (TX 18/11/17).  “Detectorist”, (S3, ep 2 & ep 3).  “Fireman Sam”, (S10, ep 6).  “I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here!”, (S17, ep 3: TX 21/11/17)(ep 4: TX 22/11/17)(ep 5: TX 23/11/17)(ep 6: TX 24/11/17).  “Man Down”, (S3, ep 5).  “Miracle On 34^th Street”, (1994).  “Motherland”, (S1, ep 3 & ep 4).  “Paddington 2”, (2017).  “Star Trek (Original Series)”, (S1, ep 10 to 30)(S2, ep 1).  “The Apprentice”, (S13, ep8: TX 22/11/17).  “The Apprentice: Honest Subtitles”, (S3, ep 8: TX 22/11/17).  “The Apprentice: Your Fired”, (S12, ep 8: TX 22/11/17).  “The Chronicles Of Narnia: The Voyage Of The Dawn Treader”, (2010).  “The Last Leg”, (S12, ep 7: TX 10/11/17)(ep 8: TX 17/11/17).  “The League Of Gentlemen”, (S1, ep 2 & ep 3).  “Top Gear: Burma Special”, (S21, ep 6, pt 1: TX 09/03/14)(ep 7, pt 2: TX 16/03/14).            

This week I have mainly been listening to:   “Craigslost (From Dazed And Concicted)”, (ep 121, 30/06/15)(ep 125, 30/05/16).  “Don’t Quit Your Daycast”, (ep 4, 25/01/12)(ep 5, 01/02/12)(ep 6, 11/02/12)(ep 7, 18/02/12).  “Ghost And Me With David Babcock”, (S1, ep 4, 23/11/17).  “Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 20, 22/11/17).  “Iain Lee Old Bits: Bad Days And Invisiplanes, 28/03/16”, (20/11/17): “A Super Primal Sexual Experience, 06/12/16”, (21/11/17): “Dexter Fletcher, 16/12/16”, (22/11/17): “Doomsday Steve, 29/03/16”, (23/11/17).  “In Poor Taste”, (ep 10, 22/02/15)(ep 76, 02/08/17)(ep 77, 13/08/17)(ep 85, 22/11/17).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (23/11/17).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (18/11, 24/11/17).  “NASA Gravity Assist”, (ep 2, 22/11/17).  “NASA In Silicon Valley”, (Short, 24/08/16)(ep 5, 26/08/16)(Short, 20/09/16)(ep 18, 22/11/16)(ep 65, 26/10/17)(ep 69, 23/11/17).  “Pints And Puzzles”, (S1, ep 1, 13/10/16)(s2, ep 7, 23/11/17).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 65, 20/11/17).  “Strange Times”, (ep 242, 18/11/17).  “The Adam Buxton”, (ep 57, 18/11/17).  “The Aggy Fox Podcast”, (ep 22, 20/11/17).  “The DHB Radio Show”, (ep 223, 20/07/17).  “The Mad Scientist Podcast”, (Bonus ep, 07/08/17)(ep 32, 23/11/17).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 36, 23/11/17).  “Morrissey”,  “Yazoo”,  “Suede”,  “The Spice Girls”,  “Delia Derbyshire”,  ”The BBC Radiophonic Workshop”,  “George Harrison”, “Dusty Springfield”, “ Manic Street Preacher”.    

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East and Central London & Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 178 Saturday 11^th November until Friday 17^th November 2017. 

I have been unemployed for just over one month.  When I was a useful member of society before arriving at the office Monday to Friday I would visited a small indie coffee shop.  At that time there were none of the large corporate coffee giants in the area.  Every morning I was served by a woman who gradually over the months not only started to smile but also conversed.  I say this as when I first visited; her face was completely static as if she was a Vulcan, just without the angled eyebrows.

  “Thank you to the lovely Claire and Moira for making this week bearable”.

As Stated above there was brief conversation.  For the first few weeks all that was said consisted of “hello”, “do you want chocolate on your cappuccino” and of course the classic “see you tomorrow / next week *”.

 “Booted and suited for an interview this week.  Everyone outside in the cold to greet me when i arrived”.

*delete as appropriate.

 “Late in the week, 5.30pm (ish) Surrey is just beautiful”.

Like a child over time further words were exchanged.  In fact when I returned after being away at mums for a week, she actually asked how my trip had been and was mum ok (I don’t remember mentioning mum; I must have, unless the cafe was bugging me).

  “If this was the new interior to the TARDIS, i wouldn’t mind”.

Over time the conversation became quite complicate.  One morning my opinion was sort because the furniture had been moved around.  There was a regular table I liked; all around the walls were lined by shelves full off books.  Each morning I enjoyed a chapter or a few pages of a “National Geographic” book about NASA’s “Curiosity” rover.  If someone was sitting at “MY” table of course I would attempt to shoot laser from my eyes without being obvious as I passed.

 “Early in the week, Essex around 4.30 pm”.

During the last two weeks I have been back a couple of times.  Something I noticed straight away is that a branch of one of the coffee giants has materialised almost opposite. Being a loyal customer to the independent establishment, I ignored the kind offer of buy 15 full priced drinks in order to get one free from the giant.  The smile was wiped off my stupidly fat face immediately after I had walked in, when faced by an emotionless woman waiting to take my order.  Had I fallen down a coffee shop rip in the space time continuum, could the presence the coffee giant have produced a caffeine gravity well resulting in the women’s personality I had got used to being sucked down the drain only to stick to one of London’s many growing fatbergs.

 “Yes i am a fatty”.

Of course I didn’t really expect her to remember me.  I am after all a no one, just another coffee addict.  Though I always order with a smile and take any empty cups back to the counter before I leave.  Next time l’ll try to see if her ears are pointed, maybe she is part Vulcan.  I am determined to get a smile out of her and remember the good old day of Summer 2017.  Yes I am a saddo who needs a job.

And Now For Something Completely Different…..

  “This original Dana Diver drawn on a whiteboard in Mozambique.  The new version made this week and named Misfitscully”.
 
This week my friend Ian said “why don’t you produce some cards for Crimbum”, I’ll be honest at the time I didn’t actually consider this a possibility.  10pm that evening I was making a card from scratch with no idea of what I was doing.  24 hrs later there were 3 designs and a plan to sell them.

  “Making a mess, designing and attempting to be creative”.

As you read this, I have 100 cards being printed which I collect early next week.  A Business Facebook page (have a look for Misfitscully) has been set up, by the time you read next week’s blog Week 179 the cards will be on sale.  If I do manage to sell any, I have ideas for further products.  I am starting to believe that anything could happen.

  “The very friendly and helpful, All Your Business Needs in Reigate, who are printing my cards”.

And Finally…..

 “My friend is fashionable and likes her droids”.

Being nose to nose literally with a guide dog as I picked something up for the owner.

Moaning about how I wanted to sit travelling forward on a train.  But spent the entire journey with a hand shielding my eyes because the sun was too bright.  I had to give in and sit facing backwards.  That will teach me to moan.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

 “Writing this shiz”.

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“After Trek”, (S1, ep 8).  “BBC Children In Need 2017”, (TX 16/11/17).  “ BBC How Do They Do That (BBC News Studio)”, (1997).  “BBC TV, VT Dept Crimbum Tape 1979”.  “Chaos On The Bridge”, (2014).  “Click”, (TX 11/11/17).  “I Know Who You Are”, (S1, ep 11 & ep 12).  “James And Jupp”, (S1, ep 4: TX 12/11/17).  “Little Miss Sunshine”, (2006).  “Nile Rodger: How To Make It In The Music Business”, (S1, ep 3: TX 20/10/17).  “Poppies (CBBC)”, (TX 09/11/14).  “Red Dwarf XII”, (S12, ep 6).  “Robot Wars”, (S10, ep 4: TX 12/11/17).  “Serial Killer With Piers Morgan”, (TX 16/11/17).  “Sideways”, (2004).  “Space Craft With Loren Grush”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 4).  “Star Trek (Original Series)”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 9).  “Star Trek Discovery”, (S1, ep 9).  “Stranger Things”, (S1, ep 5 & ep 6).  “The Apprentice”, (S13, ep7: TX 15/11/17).  “The Apprentice: Honest Subtitles”, (S3, ep 7: TX 15/11/17).  “The Apprentice: Your Fired”, (S12, ep 7: TX 15/11/17).  “The Graham Norton Show”, (S22, ep 7: TX 10/11/17).  “The League Of Gentlemen”, (S1, ep 1).  “Top Gear”, (S18, ep 6).  “The Sky At Night”, (TX 12/11/17).  “Travelman In 48hrs in…. (S6, ep 4x: TX 10/11/17).  “Zapped”, (S2, ep 6).          

This week I have mainly been listening to:   “Craigslost (From Dazed And Concicted)”, (ep 12, 29/07/11)(ep 126, 07/08/16)(ep 127, 11/11/16).  “Don’t Quit Your Daycast”, (ep 1, 07/12/11)(ep 2, 15/12/11)(ep 3, 07/02/12).  “Ghost And Me With David Babcock”, (ep 3, 14/11/17).  “Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 19, 16/11/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (09/11, 10/11/17).  “Iain Lee Old Bits: Barry, 16/03/16”, (14/11/17): “Rhys Thomas, 18/04/16”, (15/11/17): “The Secrets of The Ninja, 03/03/16”, (15/1/17):  “John Lydon, 14/10/16”, (17/11/17).  “In Poor Taste”, (ep 9, 15/02/15)(ep 78, 01/09/17)(ep 79, 20/09/17)(ep 84, 14/11/17).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (16/11/17).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (10/11, 11/11, 16/11/17).  “NASA Gravity Assist”, (ep 0, 02/11/17)(ep 1, 15/11/17).  “NASA In Silicon Valley”, (ep 51, 20/07/17)(ep 52, 27/07/17)(short 17/08/17)(ep 64, 19/10/17)(ep 68, 16/11/17).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 64, 11/11/17).  “The Adam Buxton”, (ep 56, 11/11/17).  “The Bitter Sound”, (ep 22, 03/06/14)(ep 23, 16/07/14)(ep 24, 12/09/14)(ep 25, 10/12/14)(ep 26, 28/10/15)(ep 27, 22/06/16).  “The Bitter Sound: George George And Morris Worthington Smyth”, (pt 1: 09/07/14).  “The DHB Radio Show”, (ep 6, 05/03/11).  “The Mad Scientist Podcast”, (ep 18, 09/04/17)(Roundtable 15, ep 55, 15/09/17).  “The Nick Abbot Habit”, (ep 16, 16/11/17).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 35, 16/11/17).  “Morrissey”,  “The Doors”,  “The Foo Fighters”,  “Nick Cave & Kylie Minogue”,  “Art of Noise”,  ”Artic Monkeys”,  “Daft Punk”.    

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East and North London & Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 177 Saturday 4^th November until Friday 10^th November 2017.

This week’s ramble is a little shorter than normal, which for many will be a relief.  Next week things will be back to normal, that’s right full of spelling mistakes and grammar which doesn’t make any scene.

  “The changing colours are so beautiful at this time of year”.

This week has not been a good one. At its lowest point, I was screaming in the bedroom (apologise to the neighbours) just because the pressure had built up inside me and needed to escape.  Of course I would have preferred to have been alone in the woods, but I wasn’t. There was also a lot of time spent in bed alone with my thoughts which is probably not a good idea.  However i enjoy being in bed, it’s a place I feel comfortable and it’s something I am actually good at.

  “Calamity is old enough, honest”.

I have said a number of times that I write this shiz partly so that one day my nephews and niece if they have some spare time might like to read about what they’re mad fat Aunty got up to while they were young.

 “I always love to looking up and wonder if someone or thing is looking back”.

Kids I’m talking directly to you here.  If you’re still in School, you don’t have to enjoy it and it’s only for few years.  You’ll have plenty of time afterward to mess around and enjoy yourself.  Try to study otherwise you might end up like me, old, pretty much homeless, penniless and a waste of space.  If you’re Working, I hope that you have a job that challenges you mentally, pays well and you enjoy (at least during the hours you’re contracted).  Remember that you need a good work life balance, so get involved in lots of outside interesting activates meeting nice people.  I hope that you’re in a nice Relationship and I will try not to embarrass you by farting and belching all the time, even a Lucas has some standards.  Oh, remember what you see on the big screen is made up, don’t be like me spending your life wishing that magical things will happen in front of you.  The reality is this is a very boring life, try to make yours interesting.

  “North London always cheers me up”.

Don’t be afraid to talk and ask for help.  If you ever feel that you’re losing it, a grip on reality then speak to someone.  Your parents would of course be your first choice or speak to Aunty H or various Grandparents.  If you feel you can’t speak to them then go see Aunty MOZ you know she’s reliable and will always be there for you.  Where will I be you might ask, I’ll be in a care home dribbling to myself in a corner staring at daytime TV.  If you do visit all I ask is that you make sure that I am not being forced against my will to watch Jezzer Kyle, I’ll watch anything, but not that Crunt.

   “Random pictures of the week, i wont explain….”.

Want I am trying to say, please don’t end up like me.  Don’t waste your life, this existence doesn’t last long, don’t get to 49 and regret almost everything.  Don’t think daily wishing you had taken the blue pill instead of the red, or you should have walked left instead of right.  Life is full of choices; try to make the correct ones.  Remember its ok to admit that you made a mistake, turn around so that you do make the right choice in the end.  DON’T BE LIKE YOUR OLD FAT AUNTY, don’t be stubborn accept help…..

  “A nice afternoon in the East”.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

 “Writing this shiz, while Mozzer serenaded me”.

This week I have mainly been watching:

 “Honest, i was not having a dump in North London bushes.  If it had been South London, then anything goes”.

“After Trek”, (S1, ep 1 to 7).  “Billion Dollar Deals And How They Changed Your World”, (S1, ep 3: TX 11/10/17).  “Blue Planet II”, (S2, ep 2: TX 05/11/17).  “Click”, (TX 04/11/17).  “Detectorists”, (S3, ep 1).  “Gameface”, (S1, ep 1 to 3).  “Have I Got News For You”, (S54, ep 6).  “James And Jupp”, (S1, ep 1: TX 22/10, ep 2: TX 29/10, ep 3: TX 05/11/17).  “Josh”, (S3, ep 6).  “Louis Theroux: My Scientology Movie”, (2015).  “Man Down”, (S4, ep 3).  “Motherland”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 3).  “Red Dwarf XII”, (S12, ep 5).  “Rellik”, (S1, ep 4 to ep 6).  “Robot Wars”, (S10, ep 3).  “Roisin Conaty Pilot (Gameface)”, (TX 23/04/14).  “Star Trek Discovery”, (S1, ep 8).  “Stranger Things”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 4).  “The Apprentice”, (S13, ep 6: TX 08/11/17).  “The Apprentice: Honest Subtitles”, (S3, ep 6: TX 08/11/17).  “The Apprentice: Your Fired”, (S12, ep 6: TX 08/11/17).  “The Bitter Sound: Abstract Eye”, (#1, 22/01/14, #2, 14/03/14).  “The End Of The F***ing World”, (S1, ep 6 to ep 8).  “The Golden Girls”, (S4, ep 24 to 26)(S5, ep 1 to ep 3).  “The Last Leg”, (S12, ep 6: TX 03/11/17).  “The Martian”, (2015).  “Tomorrow’s World Live: Me And My Robot”, (TX 06/11/17).  “Travelman In 48hrs in…. (S6, ep 3: TX 03/11/17).  “Zapped”, (S2, ep 5).          

This week I have mainly been listening to:   

“Craigslost (From Dazed And Concicted)”, (ep 10, 14/07/11)(ep 11, 22/07/11).  “Ghost And Me With David Babcock”, (ep 1, 02/11/17)(ep 2, 09/11/17).  “Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 17, 03/11/17)(ep 18, 10/11/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (06/11, 08/11/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (03/11, 06/11, 07/11, 08/11/17).  “In Poor Taste”, (ep 7, 17/01/15)(ep 8, 24/01/15)(ep 83, 06/11/17).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (09/11/17).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (04/11, 10/11/17).  “NASA In Silicon Valley”, (ep 66, 03/11/17)(ep 67, 09/11/17).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 63, 04/11/17).  “Strange Times”, (ep 241, 04/11/17).  “The Aggy Fox Podcast”, (ep 21, 07/11/17).  “The Bitter Sound”, (ep 13, 14/08/13)(ep 14, 05/09/13)(ep 15, 13/09/13)(ep 16, 02/10/13)(ep 17, 28/10/13)(ep18, 07/11/13)(ep 19, 14/02/14)(ep 20, 18/03/14)(ep 21, 30/04/14).  “The DHB Radio Show”, (ep 224, 15/07/17)(ep 225, 15/08/17).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 34, 09/11/17).  “Morrissey”,  “Royal Blood”,  “Pink Floyd”,  “All About Eve”,  “Fleetwood Mac”,  ”Echo And The Bunnymen”,  “Marilyn Monroe”,  “Cocteau Twins”, “Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine”.    

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in Southwold, Suffolk, Surrey and East London (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 176 Saturday 28^th October until Friday 3^rdNovember 2017.

This week has been full of emotional ups and downs after the fun of the family get-away last week to Southwold.  I’ll be crossing off the next 50 weeks on the calendar looking forward to when we return to that lovely part of the UK in 2018.

 “It’s not cool to sit on the Friendship Bench, ive never been cool”.

If you have been reading this shiz recently you will know that I have again become a government statistic.  However news broadcasts tell me that the UK is at maximum employment.  Well I can personally report that this is a load of balls.  When I walked into the job centre this week it was packed full of people, none of them appeared to be enjoying life at that moment.  Everything about the place is intimating.  Something that doesn’t help is the constant parade of unfit, out of condition security guards who you can see are just gagging to bundle a claimant to the carpet and throw them out onto the pavement.  Surly no one (including the staff from the look on their emotionless faces) really wants to be in or near the building.

 “Is this too dressed up for a shop interview.”

During the middle of the week while in Surrey, I was invited to attend an interview.  A job I fancied because they said that a person can walk up to 8 miles per shift, I need the exercise.  The email gave a link but due to the fact I am a crunt, I needed help from a friend to work out how to accept an interview slot.  Once on the website I discovered that the only time available was the next day during the morning.  There was just not enough time to get back home, change and arrive prepared for the interview the next day.

 “Loving the changing colours of nature at this time of year”.

Friday afternoon I had an interview with a retail entertainment company.  After I arrived there was a moment of panic when a clipboard was handed to me and I was asked to answer questions about various products.  No one said I couldn’t walk around looking for answers.  Then there was the section which named 6 albums from 2017 that I had to name the artist.  There wasn’t time to look through the racks, so I fired up the phone which had recently fallen down the loo and consulted “Uncle Google”.  I felt like a naughty schoolchild in the corner of the shop sneaking glances at my phone as I noted down the names of artist I’d never heard of.  The interview went well, I will find out if I am worthy of a minimal wage job next week.  It’s a job that’s the most important thing.

 “Thats no moon?”.

And Now For Something Completely Different…… 

  “Worm mud pie, and party carnage”.

Halloween when I was small wasn’t that important, my knowledge of the occasion came from watching American TV.  Trick or treating wasn’t something seen on the mean streets of downtown Croydon, South London.  October 31st is now a huge festival of sugar for kids up and down the country.

   “The beautiful of  Surrey”.

With the help of my sister, I fully embraced the occasion by painting my face green.  Looking in the mirror I resembled a second rate, fan-fic “Orion” woman from “Star Trek”.  When I took my niece to school the next morning both of us still had smudges of green on our faces.  Note to self: cheap face paint is tough to scrub off even with a lot of rubbing.  Another good reason I was unemployed this week.

  “SAZ throw a great party”.

There was a prearranged route only visiting house with lit pumpkins outside.  We weren’t of course the only group moving from door to door.  Constantly opening the front door to groups of grinning children high on E numbers and other additives for a number of hours on a Wednesday evening wouldn’t have been my idea of fun I have to admit if I was at home.  Yes, even I, a cynical fat 49yr old had a wonderful time that evening watching kids rush from door to door filling there buckets with sweets.

  “Some people really went the extra mile”.

My sister then had our entire group back to hers for a party of pizza, goulash treats containing more sugar, plus fireworks and a film.  Once the little ones had left it was time for the adults to enjoy Halloween.  I’m already looking forward to Halloween 2018.
This week I need to say a big thank you to “SAZ”, “Tim”plus “Gatford” for computer advice.

  “A lovely Thursday lunchtime with my sister”.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts…… 

 “Writing this shiz, or attempting to”.

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“Black Lake”, (ep 7 & ep 8).  “Blue Planet II”, (S2, ep 1: TX 29/10/17).  “Celebrity Hunted: Stand Up To Cancer”, (S1, ep 4: TX 31/10/17).  “Click”, (TX 28/10/17).  “Columbia With Simon Reeves”, (TX 16/04/17).  “Don’t Tell The Bride”, (TX 25/10/16).  “Fraser”, (S10, ep 13 7 ep 14).  “Have I Got News For You”, (S54, ep 5).  “Josh”, (S3, ep 5).  “Louis Theroux: Talking On Anorexia”, (TX 29/10/17).  “Man Down”, (S4, ep 2).  “Monster House”, (2006).  “Phillip k Dicks; Electric Dreams: Human Is”, (S1, ep 6).  “Red Dwarf XII”, (S12, ep x).  “Robot Wars”, (S10, ep 2).  “Spider House”, (TX 29/10/14).  “Star Trek Discovery”, (S1, ep 6 & ep 7).  “The Apprentice”, (S13, ep 5: TX 01/11/17).  “The Apprentice: Honest Subtitles”, (S3, ep 5: TX 01/11/17).  “The Apprentice: Your Fired”, (S12, ep 5: TX 01/11/17).  “The End Of The F***ing World”, (S1, ep 3 to 5).  “The Ganges With Sue Perkins”, (S1, ep 2: TX 26/10/17)(ep 3; TX 02/11/17).  The Gardeners Of Kabul”, (TX 20/10/17).  The Graham Norton Show”, (S22, ep 6: TX 03/11/17).  “The Great British Bake Off”, (S8/S1, ep 10: TX 31/10/17).  “The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice”, (S4/S1, ep 10: TX 02/11/17).  “The Last Leg”, (S12, ep 5: TX 27/10/17).  “Timewasters”, (S1, ep 4).  “Weather World The Power Of Hurricanes”, (TX 20/10/17).  “Zapped”, (S2, ep 4).          

This week I have mainly been listening to:

“Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (31/10, 3x 02/11/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (27/10, 30/10, 31/10, 01/11, 02/11/17).  “In Poor Taste”, (ep 5, 06/01/15)(ep 6, 12/01/15)(ep 82, 30/10/17).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (03/11/17).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (28/10, 03/11/17).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 62, 27/10/17).  “Strange Times”, (ep 238, 20/10/17)(ep 239, 21/10/17)(ep 240, 27/10/17).  “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 55, 03/11/17).  “The Bitter Sound”, (ep8, 23/04/13)(ep 9, 13/05/13)(ep 10, 24/05/13)(ep 11, 08/06/13)(ep 12, 18/6/13).  “The DHB Radio Show”, (ep 4, 28/02/11)(ep 5, 08/03/11).  “The Nick Abbot Habit”, (ep 15, 02/11/17).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 33, 02/11/17).  “Morrissey”,  “Len”,  “Moby”,  “Echobelly”,  “Smith”,  ”The Style Council”,  “Foo Fighters”,  “Alanis Morissette”, “Neneh Cherry”.    

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East London, Surrey & Southwold Suffolk (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 175 Saturday 21^stuntil Friday 27^thOctober 2017.

This week has been the annual family trip to Southwold on the Suffolk coast.

 “Wheres the light house, JBomb”.

For the last few years members of the family meet up and share a house for an entire week. I have spent the last 51 weeks looking forward to this one.

  “Its a lovely place, even when the sky is stormy”.

Southwold is a very small seaside town (at least I think it’s a town).  I may not know the names of the small lanes, but I definitely know how to navigate to local pubs, chip shops and the place that certain small members of the family consider the most important part of town, the sweet shop.  When we arrived I thought that the town had come out in force to welcome us back.  This was because that morning was the grand reopening of the small traditional confectionery shop.  The same one which for the last year grandma had been telling the children had closed after our last visit.  Outside the shop as well as a stilt walker handing out balloons, there was Buzz Lightyear and Woody from “Toy Story” directing traffic and having their photos taken with everyone and anyone.

  “Anoodle and Grandma, made friends as soon as we arrived”.

At this moment I’ll pause and quickly look around

  “I thought i pulled for a moment”.

Of course this wasn’t the real Buzz and Woody because they obviously live in America. Instead these were cheap “rent-a-costumes”, the guys inside should be given credit for not breaking character and entertaining the crowds for hours without a break.  Certainly my nephew and niece had a great time meeting two hero’s from a film they like.  Thinking about this, these two could be the first famous characters they have met. Mr Tumble doesn’t counts as he walked past them and then performed on stage.

                                       Phew, must not destroy the magic

   “Really lovely place by the beach”.

I’ll be honest, this week has involved a lot of eating and drinking.  Must mention a really nice new pub (for us) “The Sail Loft” situated very near the beach.  SAZ, Anoodle and I stumbled upon a “Pop Up Wine Shop”, “The Wine Shed” on the shore of the River Blyth.  Two of us enjoyed a couple of glasses of wine while the other ate a few free samples of homemade brownies.  The annual visit to Warbleswick is always a highlight; I particularly enjoy riding the rowing boat ferry a journey that lasts only about 5 minutes.  Should I mention that SAZ and myself had a wee in a bush on a golf course, no I’ll keep quiet.  Next week I have to join a “fat club”, the kind where people are publicly embarrassed weekly in front of others who also have expanding equatorial regions.

   “Got to love a Pop Up, we did”.

During the week in the house there have been a number of strange incidents.

   “The mainstage at Southwold live”.
  Footsteps upstairs when there was no one there.

   “Our trip to Warbs”.

  A mobile with the ringtone of “when the boat comes” ringing, which no one owned
 Bedroom wardrobe mirror door that was closed, but later found open.

  “Its a pretty beach”.

However the mystery of the missing sandwich and children’s chocolate lolly was solved when grandma looked in her bag.

  “Mug shots”.

Most days I went out and spent time alone doing small rough pencil sketches which I might add some watercolour when home.  Being blasted by stormy winds while standing on the end of the pier looking back at the lighthouse made me smile.

  “Windy & drunk, but which one”.

It’s the end of a wonderful week, with far too many highlights to mention.  Is it wrong I am already looking forward to “Southwold 2018″.  Thank you so much to SAZ, Timbum, Anoodle, The JBomb, Aunty H and Grandma for a great time.

  “Team Southwold 2017”.

And In Other News…… 

Within our first hour by the sea, SAZ heard someone mentioning that they could see “Sellafield” nuclear reprocessing plant on the horizon.  Being a geography teacher she informed them in a friendly way that it is actually “Sizewell B”.  My sisters a geography teacher so knows her shiz.

 “Go on name the Nuclear facility in the distance”.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts…… 

 “This is what a week in Southwold has done to me”.

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“24 Hrs In A&E”, (S10, ep 21: TX 09/03/16).  “Autumnwatch 2017”, (S12, ep 1 to ep 4: TX 23 to 26/10/17).  “Celebrity Hunted: Stand Up To Cancer”, (S1, ep 3: TX 24/10/17).   “Click”, (TX 21/10/17).  “Feral Families”, (TX 26/10/17).  “Gunpowder”, (S1, ep 1).  “Have I Got News For You”, (S54, ep 4).  “Josh”, (S3, ep 4).  “Later… With Jool’s Holland”, (S51, ep 4).  “Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring”, (2001).  “Louis Theroux: Dark States”, (S1, ep 3: TX 22/10/17).  “Man Down”, (S4, ep 1).  “My Week As A Muslim”, (TX 23/10/17).  “Natural World 2017/18. H Is For Hawk: A New Chapter”, (TX 19/10/17).  “Panarama: How Safe is Your Operation?”, (TX 16/10/17).  “Red Dwarf XII”, (S12, ep 3 & ep 4).  “Robot Wars”, (S10, ep 1).  “The Apprentice”, (S13, ep 4: TX 25/10/17).  “The Apprentice: Honest Subtitles”, (S3, ep 4: TX 25/10/17).  “The Apprentice: Your Fired”, (S12, ep 4: TX 25/10/17).  “The End Of The F***ing World”, (S1, ep 1 to 3).  “The Graham Norton Show”, (S22, ep 4 extra)(S22, ep 5: TX 27/10/17).  “The Great British Bake Off”, (S8/S1, ep 9: TX 24/10/17).  “The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice”, (S4/S1, ep 9: TX 26/10/17).  “The Last Leg”, (S12, ep 4: TX 20/10/17).  “Travelman: 48 Hours In…”, (S5, 1: TX 20/10/17)(ep 2: TX 27/10/17).  “Zapped”, (S2, ep 3).          

This week I have mainly been listening to:   “Craigslost (From Dazed And Convicted)”, (ep 6, 08/06/11)(ep 7, 16/06/11)(ep 8, 01/07/11)(Bonus 2, 01/07/11)(ep 9, 08/07/11)(ep 128, 23/09/17).  “Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 16, 27/10/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (20/10, 24/10/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (17/10, 18/10, 20/10, 23/10, 24/10, 26/10/17).  “In Poor Taste”, (ep 4, 26/12/14)(ep 81, 23/10/17).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (21/10, 27/10/17).  “NASA Silicon Valley”, (ep 56, 24/08/17).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 61, 20/10/17).  “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 54, 26/10/17).  “The Aggy Fox Podcast”, (ep 20, 26/10/17).  “The Bitter Sound”, (ep 5, 25/01/13)(ep 6, 08/02/13)(ep 7, 22/03/13).  “The DHB Radio Show”, (ep 3, 22/02/11).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 32, 26/10/17).  “Morrissey”,  “Dusty Springfield”,  “Sixpence None The Richer”,  “Paul Heaton And Jacqui Abbott”,  “Grizzly Bear”,  ”Wolf Alice”,  “Len”,  “Bran Van 3000”,  “MacAlmont & Butler”, “Suede”, “Nirvana”.    

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East & Central London and Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 174 Saturday 14^th until Friday 20^th October 2017.

Storage really should not be for life, I have had belongings locked away for 4yr now.  My eyes become slightly moist when I think about all the money that I have wasted.  I have 35sq feet and not 35sq metre’s, which Is what I was have been telling people, that amount is really is enough to make anyone wake up in a cold sweat with panic.  No I can confirm that it is only 35sq feet of crap that I have been paying for.

   “Look who i have locked up in Storage……shall i set them free”.

When the Mid-Life Crisis started a few years ago, I packed my prized possession “which others call a pile of shiz” into the small car I used to own.  With the help of my dear friend Moria (I did thank her at the time, if you were wondering) we managed to move everything I think is important to the local storage company.  There was also a number of trips on my bicycle with panniers full to bursting, plus additional bags hanging off both handle bars which really was not a clever idea.  Non storage shiz was either sold at booties (once again thanks to Moria for more help than I deserved) or taken to charity shops.  Anything left over went to the local tip, where I found I was fascinated by the huge monster machines that are enslaved and fed on large mouthfuls of previously loved objects which were no longer wanted.

  “I’d forgotten i was once a naked cover star, really i did appear on newsagents top shelf”.

In the above paragraph I appear to have fallen down a Local Government recycling rabbit hole.  Let’s continue…

  “So long Surrey, it’s been fun”.

During this week all my locked up goodies were moved from Surrey to East London.  There still imprisoned, but it’s slightly cheaper and more importantly now located within walking distance.  This mean’s I will be able to actually go through the shiz (There is comprehensive 42 page list) getting rid of stuff that I now realise really is shiz.  Others maybe I can make some money from.  What would be nice is to have a place I can call home where the boxes can be stored in a corner and left to gather dust while I sit and just look at them.  I’m obsessed with storage, I’m a storage fan.

  “I travelled in one of these vehicle this week….. But which one?” 

The move took place week with the help of “Calamity” and a friend who had a van because I didn’t feel I comfortable driving something as wide as my lardy ass.  It was comforting to find that traffic on the world’s biggest carpark the M25 was as bad as I remembered.  Once in Surrey (due to this being a cross county trip I made sure that all my inoculations and visas were up to date) we managed to fill the van in just over an hour.  It was on the way back while at “Clacket Lane Services” that the following two incidents took place, which may have resulted in a Fatwa being place on me. 

 “Entertainment on the Tube, made the journey a little more interesting”.

1/ My lardy ass sat on “Calamity’s” coat that was hung up in behind me in the cab by a delicate chain.  We knew something was wrong when small pieces of metal flew about the cabin; my ass had pulled on the coat and strained the chain resulting in a catastrophic collapse.

  “I might have had a couple of drinks this night”.

2/ “Calamity” returned with food, as a friend I thought I was being helpful by opening the door from the inside. Due to not knowing the van, the door swung a lot further than expected almost taking my friend out.  She was only saved by her quick reflexes.

 “Happy B’day Mum, this week”.

Coming out the other side of the “Dartford Tunnel” we made it in good time to the new storage facility.  This was good as there was only just over an hour until they closed.  All three of us filled wheeled barrows full of things I love and filled the new space as quickly as possible.  When we finished there was a sense of satisfaction at the fact that there was just 10 minutes to spare.  I couldn’t have done any of this without friends; its occasions like this that make me realise I have so much to be thankful for.  Now I really need to make everything worth it, by going through the shiz.

Remember kids, storage really should not be for life….

 “The sky was so much more orange, this picture doesn’t do the occasion justice”. 

         Now I have to mention a couple of special things I saw during the move. 

Seeing a mobility scooter being driven in the middle of the road by an elderly woman who was chatting on her phone.  Is that legal.

  “Gratuitous munchkin Pumpkin torture”. 

Laughing at white van whose number plate which looked like it said “Boob”.

 “The Boob van”.

And In Other News…… 

“Red 2” (see last week’s blog, If this doesn’t mean anything) was spotted again by a friend passing a London Overground Station one morning.

 “Trying to write this shiz, but Morrissey distracting me”.

“NEXT WEEK IS THE ANNUAL SOUTHWOLD SPECIAL, I’M EXCITED”

My Mid Life Crisis Conts…… 

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“Billion Dollar Deals And How They Changed Your World”, (S1, ep 1: TX 27/09/17).  “Chris Packham: Asperger’s And Me”, (TX 17/10/17).  “Cla’am”, (BBC)(2017).  “Click”, (TX 14/10/17).  “Dog Soldiers”, (2002).  “George Michael: Freedom”, (TX 16/10/17).   “Have I Got News For You”, (S54, ep 3).  “Josh”, (S3, ep 3).  “Later… With Jool’s Holland”, (S51, ep 3).  “Louis Theroux: Dark States”, (S1, ep 2: TX 15/10/17).  “Monsters Vs Aliens”, (2009).  “Nile Rodgers: How To Make It In The Music Business”, (S1, ep 2: TX 13/10/17).  “Phillip K Dicks: Electric Dreams: Real Life”, (S1, ep 5).  “Red Dwarf XII”, (S12, ep 2).  “Star Trek Discovery”, (S1, ep 4 & ep 5).  “The Apprentice”, (S13, ep 3: TX 18/10/17).  “The Apprentice: Honest Subtitles”, (S3, ep 3: TX 18/10/17).  “The Apprentice: Your Fired”, (S12, ep 3: TX 18/10/17).  “The Ganges With Sue Perkins”, (S1, ep 1: TX 19/10/17).  “The Golden Girls”, (S4, ep 20 to ep 23).  “The Graham Norton Show”, (S22, ep 2 & ep 3).  “The Great British Bake Off”, (S8/S1, ep 8: TX 17/10/17).  “The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice”, (S4/S1, ep 8: TX 19/10/17).  “The Human Body: Secrets Of Your Life Revealed”, (S1, ep 3: TX 09/10/17).  “Tomorrow’s World Live: Move To Mars”, (TX 04/10/17).  “Upstart Crow”, (S2, ep 6).  “W1A”, (S3, ep 5 & ep 6).  “Zapped”, (S2, ep 2).          

This week I have mainly been listening to:   “Anarchic Audio: Punny You Should Say That”,(ep 4, 17/10/17).  “Craigslost (From Dazed And Convicted)”, (Bonus ep 26/05/11)(ep 4 & ep 5, 02/06/11).  “Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 14, 13/10/17)(ep 15, 20/10/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (17/10/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (13/10, 16/10, 17/10/17).  “In Poor Taste”, (ep 2, 14/12/14)(ep 3, 19/12/14).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (19/10/17).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (14/10, 20/10/17).  “NASA Silicon Valley”, (20/07, 26/07, 27/07, 03/08, 08/08, 10/08, 16/08, 17/08/16)(10/10/17)(ep 63, 12/10/17).  “Quick Questions”, (ep 7, 28/08/17)(ep 8, 04/09/17)(ep 9, 11/09/17)(ep 10, 18/09/17).  “St Pancras Piano”, (BBC Radio 4,TX 13/10/17).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (Bonus ep, 12/10/17)(ep 60, 13/10/17).  “Strange Times”, (ep 237, 13/10/17).  “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 53, 20/10/17).  “The Bitter Sound”, (ep 4, 11/01/13).  “The DHB Radio Show”, (ep 1, 07/02/11)(ep 2, 14/02/11).  “The Nick Abbot Habit”, (ep 14, 19/10/17).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 31, 19/10/17).  “Morrissey”,  “The B52’s”,  “Queen”,  “Crash Test Dummies”,  “Beck”,  ”St Vincent”,  “Nile Rodgers”,  “Sophie B Hawkins”,  “Natalie Imbruglia”.    

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East & Central London and Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 173 Saturday 7^th until Friday 13^th October 2017.

Last week I had the rug pulled from under me without any notice, as a result this week I have been trying to rebuild this mess I call life.

  “Leave me alone while i get drunk”.

For the last 173 weeks I have written this shiz, and am always amazed that lovely people from all over the world spend a few precious minute of their life reading or looking at this ramble.

 “Less calories in an ink pizza”.

This week has not been a good one, but it was important that I still produce a blog.  A lot of my efforts over the last few days have been looking for a job, while at the same time preparing for an interview on Thursday morning (the result won’t be known until the middle of next week).

  “Gizza job!”.

Fingers crossed next week’s ramble will be a little more back to normal, whatever normal is…

And Now For Something Completely Different…… 

   “Collecting stations only 267 to go”.

As an adult there are so many things that frustrate and annoy, but I have learned that bearing a grudge is just wasted energy.  Last Saturday I had a wonderful day with my niece and best friend “Calamity”.  We had arranged to take our little friend into “London Town” for cake and ice skating, though not at the same time of course.

  “They love the CAKE”.

It was great seeing how much she enjoyed travelling on various trains, tubes and buses. Something that is everyday and mundane for jaded old farts like me, but was a huge thrill for her.  Also seeing her eyes wide open when told she could pick any cake in a posh sit down bakery was a treat.  One thing that I will always remember is how excited she got when encountered by shelf after shelf of plastic superhero tatt in my fave shop “Forbidden Planet”.  My sister won’t be impressed but her daughter really has the making of a future geek.

   “Fun in Shaftsbury Ave”.

Why am I mentioning having a grudge?  My niece was really looking forward to her second ice skating session at “Ally Pally”.  However our hearts sank when we were told that they had run out of skating aids that children hold on to enabling them to stand and skate.  This meant I had to improvise by holding her under her arms and push her around the rink slowly.

  “Cheesy chips and a burger”.

GET TO THE POINT about the grudge, I hear you shout!!!!  Anoodle noticed that an adult was pushing one of the skating aids alongside a little girl who also had one.  Throughout the session she pointed as they passed saying “why was the lady was using it”.  If I wasn’t holding on to her and if she could have walked across the ice I suspect that she would have stormed over and pulled the skating aid away.  Happily I can report that we finished the session without upsetting other patrons and more importantly we didn’t falling on our backsides.  For the rest of the day she “wouldn’t let it lie” © Vic & Bob 1990/1, my niece was bearing her first real grudge.  In years to come I’ll remind of this  with pride.  I learned one important lesson last weekend, pre-book the skating aid.

  “Ally Pally”.

A quick mention throughout the day someone small, who I wont embarrass by naming her gave me a nickname “the babysitter”, what a cheek.  I have pictures that will embarrass her when she’s 18 and wanting to introduce a partner, oops am I bearing a grudge……

  “Anoodle and friends”.

And In Other News……

 “Light reading for a 5 yr old, i was very impressed”.

Forget “Autumnwatch” later in the month, this week has been “Wedgewatch”.

My friend “Calamity” spotted “Dennis (Wedge, RED 2) Lawson” every morning Monday to Wednesday.  Twice coming out of a loo and once walking past a corporate coffee establishment.  If I had been there I’d have run out of space on my phone with all the pictures taken.  And definitely have tried for an autograph.

 “Writing this Shiz”.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

 This week I have mainly been watching:  

“Alien”, (1981).  “Baby’s Day Out”, (1994).  “Billion Dollar Deals And How They Changed Your World”, (S1, ep 2: TX 04/10).  “Click”, (TX 07/10/17).  “Have I Got News For You”, (S54, ep1 &  ep 2).  “Josh”, (S3, ep 2).  “Later… With Jools Holland”, (S51, ep 2).  “Louis Theroux: Dark States”, (S1, ep 1: TX 11/10/17).  “Nile Rodgers: How To Make It In The Music Business”, (S1, ep 1: TX 06/10/17).  “Phillip K Dicks: Electric Dreams: Crazy Diamonds”, (S1, ep 4).  “Red Dwarf XII”, (S12, ep 1).  “Russia With Simon Reeves”, (S1, ep 3: TX 12/10/17).  “Star Trek Discovery”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 4).  “The Apprentice”, (S13, ep 2: TX 11/10/17).  “The Apprentice: Honest Subtitles”, (S3, ep 2: TX 11/10/17).  “The Apprentice: Your Fired”, (S12, ep 2: TX 11/10/17).  “The Crystal Maze (2017)”, (S7/S1, ep 10).  “The Golden Girls”, (S4, ep 17 to ep 19).  “The Graham Norton Show”, (S22, ep 2).  “The Great British Bake Off”, (S8/S1, ep 7: TX 10/10/17).  “The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice”, (S4/S1, ep 7: TX 12/10/17).  “The Human Body: Secrets Of Your Life Revealed”, (S1, ep 1: TX 23/09/17 & ep 2: TX 02/10/17).  “The Last Leg”, (S12, ep 2 & ep 3).  “The Sky At Night”, (TX 08/10/17).  “Zapped”, (S2, ep 1).          

This week I have mainly been listening to:   

“Craigslost (From Dazed And Convicted)”, (ep 1, 08/05/11)(ep 2, 10/05/11).  “Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 13, 06/10/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (2x 09/10, 10/10, 11/10/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (09/10, 10/10, 11/10, 12/10/17).  “In Poor Taste”, (ep 1, 14/12/14)(ep 80, 08/10/17).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (13/10/17).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (07/10, 13/10).  “NASA Silicon Valley”, (ep 57, 31/08/17).  “Quick Questions”, (ep 6, 21/08/17)(ep 13, 11/10/17).  “Radio 1 Vintage: Adrian Juste & Kenny Everett”, (TX 30/09/17), Mark & Lard, Peter Powell, Steve Wright”, (TX 02/10/17).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 59, 07/10/17).  “Strange Times”, (ep 236, 06/10/17)(ep 235, 30/09/17)(ep 22, 03/08/13)(ep 21, 11/08/13)(ep 20, 13/07/13)(ep 19, 15/07/13)(ep 18, 08/07/13)(ep 17, 13/06/13)(ep 16, 25/06/13)(ep 15, 20/06/13)(ep 14, 13/06/13)(ep 13, 06/06/13)(ep 12, 31/05/13)(ep 11, 29/05/13)(ep 10, 20/05/13(ep 09, 10/05/13)(ep 08, 09/05/13)(ep 07, 26/04/13)(ep 06, 19/04/13)(ep 05, 12/04/13)(ep 04, 04/04/13)9ep 03, 27/03/13(ep 02, 20/03/13).  “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 52,12/10/17).  “The Bitter Sound”, (ep 1, 20/11/12)(ep 2, 07/12/12)(ep 3, 21/12/12).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 30, 12/10/17).  “Morrissey”,  “The Smashing Pumpkins”,  “Belinda Carlisle”,  “Starship”,  “Gary Newman”,  ”Manic Street Preachers”,  “The Shirehorse”, “Pulp”.    

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East & Central London and Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 172 Saturday 30^th until Friday 6^th October 2017.

BREAKING NEWS: Some of this week’s ramble is a little out of date, but I didn’t have time to write something new….. I suspect that this doesn’t matter.

  “Its something i like to do on weekend, don’t judge me”.

Since December 2016 I have regularly visited a basement in Whitechapel to lay and occasionally hang upside down in a swing made of parachute material.  At this point I should quickly say if my dear friend “Claire Hammond” is reading, this is not some dodgy fetish club but an exercise class (I know the depths of her mind).

  “Calamity, doing her thing”.

Along with my friend “Calamity” I have been taking part in Ariel yoga.  Tradition yoga never pushed my buttons, but being supported by a sling of thin material hanging from the ceiling is a totally unique experience.  Walking away from every class I had a smile on my face, every joint felt loose there really was a bounce in my step.

  “I am going to miss seeing Ganesha, oh and Richard”.

The classes were small up to 5 people; this allowed Richard the softly spoken extremely calm instructor to give individual tuition, which helped me to get the most from every class.  Sadly, all of this came to an end last weekend as Richard moved to teach Ariel yoga in India.  Even though we have known about this move for a couple of months this didn’t make that final session any easier.

  “There was Cake last week”.

Unfortunately, all the classes at other establishments appear to be large groups situated in modern mirror walled dance studios that I don’t think will have the same satisfying feeling.  Of course I wish Richard all the best, but part of me wants him to decide that he misses crowded London so much that he’ll returns.  Then I can continue to hang upside down feeling relaxed in a small group. 

  “This is either soft focused or i’m still drunk”.

And Now For Something Completely Different…… 

 “This is really all the rage on the District line it would appear”.

I’m a huge fan of Sci-fi, this is probably the reason why real world computers disappoint so much.  I know that there are devices which you can speak to that will answer your questions, open and close curtains or switch your lights on and off.  But there not “TIM” from the “Tomorrow people”, “Orac, Zen or Slave” from “Blakes Seven”, K9 or WOTON” from “Doctor Who”, Twiki from “Buck Rogers”, “Marvin or Deep Thought” from “Hitchhikers”.  And definitely not the ultimate companion and one of my first loves “R2D2”.

  “I just liked the colours and the look.  Thats the only reason I have included them”.

If I am honest, I partly blame school for not allowing me near the computer lab during the mid-80s, because I was in the thicko class.  None of us were deemed worthy of pressing buttons and watching terrible graphic on a small screen.  Around the same time my best friend “The Big Fellow” had a home computer that he had to run cassette tapes and type a lot of code very carefully in order for the machine to do what he wanted.  That possibly put me off as well.  I didn’t join the home computer generation until 2000 and started working on them daily in an office environment in 2001.

 “Not my drawing.  But always a worry when doing Yoga of any kind”.

These days I sit in front of a computer at work and am disappointed that the future which so many Sci-Fi films and tv shows I have enjoyed over the years has not come true.  Yes, I am one of those geeks who still smarts that Hoverboards ™ and entire meals in one small pill or flying cars has not been invented.  Where has technology gone wrong?

 “Don’t mess with this Hare”.

Earlier this week I walked into the office wondering how much of the next 8 hours I was going to hate.  When everything changed after a colleague said that all the computers and phones were out of action, for the next couple of hours I actually felt relaxed.  Unfortunately, all good things come to an end when someone plugged in the system and everything sprang to life.

 “Anoodle and Grandma, is it wrong she thinks this statue is of my mum”.

Sometimes I think office workers might as well be implanted with a blue pipe to supply a little moisture, a yellow pipe for nutrients and a dirty brown pipe up the arse in order for everything to be flushed away.  That way no one ever needs to leave there desk.  At this moment, I am sadly resigned to the fact this is probably my future, unless of course I can turn creative side of me around.

 “Competition time, where is this…….”.

Yes, I am very disappointed that the future depicted in Sci-fi hasn’t come true.  Sci-fi for me is more than just entertainment its hope that life might get a little better, maybe a little easier.

 “This mast was full of birds roosting, i thought it was interesting……… maybe not”.

And In Other News…… 

 “Seen in Brick Lane”.

Answered the phone said my bit (which is called a warm welcome, in the trade) all I heard was “The Beatles” with “Twist and shout”.  This made me smile for a couple of seconds, until I had to move on to the next call.

 “Even Superheros need vintage school chairs”.

Have spoken to two different women this week who said that they have found a snake in there house.  Something strange is happening in Essex, the reptiles are taking over.

Triplet boys walked past me in the street, I admit I did a double take and had to look back.

 “Writing this Shiz”.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts…… 

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“Astronauts: Do You Have What It Takes?”, (S1, ep 6: TX 01/10/17).  “Baby’s DayOut”, (1994).  “Black Lake”, (S1, ep 2 to ep 6).  “Click”, (TX 30/09/17).  “Have I Got News For You”, (S54, ep 1).  “Josh”, (S3, ep 1).  “NASA TV Live: Expedition 53, Spacewalk 203”, (05/10/17).  “Panarama: North Korea’s Nuclear Trump Card”, (TX 02/10/17).  “Phillip K Dicks: Electric Dreams: The Commuter”, (S1, ep 3).  “Rellik”, (S1, ep 2 & 3).  “Russia With Simon Reeves”, (S1, ep 1: TX 28/09, ep 2: TX 05/10/17).  “Star Trek Discovery”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 3).  “Strange Times Unreleased Promo (2013)”, (03/09/13).  “The Apprentice”, (S13, ep 1: TX 04/10/17).  “The Apprentice: Honest Subtitles”, (S3, ep 1: TX 04/10/17).  “The Apprentice: Your Fired”, (S12, ep 1: TX 04/10/17).  “The Crystal Maze (2017)”, (S7/S1, ep 9).  “The Golden Girls”, (S4, ep 13 to ep 16).  “The Graham Norton Show”, (S22, ep 1).  “The Great British Bake Off”, (S8/S1, ep 6: TX 03/10/17).  “The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice”, (S4/S1, ep 6: TX 05/10/17).  “The Last Leg”, (S12, ep 1).  “The Pact”, (S1, ep 1).  “W1A”, (S1, ep 3 & ep 4).  “Wogan – Radio 1 at 20 (1987)”, (TX 29/09/87).  “World Of Difference (1978) The Broadcasters”, (TX 05/01/78).        

This week I have mainly been listening to:   “Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 12, 28/09/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (28/09, 29/09/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (2x 29/09).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (30/09, 06/10/17).  “NASA Silicon Valley”, (05/09, 28/09, ep 62, 05/10/17).  “Quick Questions”, (ep 5, 14/08/17)(ep12, 01/10/17).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 58, 28/09/17).  “Strange Times”, (ep 234, 22/09/17)(ep 28, 16/09/13)(ep 34.5, 10/09/13)(ep 27, 08/09/13)(ep 26, 01/09/13)(ep 25, 27/08/13).  “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 50, 29/09/17)(ep 51, 05/10/17).  “The Angelos And Barry Podcast”, (06/10/17).  “The Nick Abbot Habit”, (ep 13, 06/10/17).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 29, 05/10/17).  “These people Podcast”, (ep 36, 30/09/17).  “Morrissey”,  “Smiths”,  “Black Grape”,  “The Happy Mondays”,  “Led Zeppelin”,  ”The Strokes”,  “Feel It Safe”, “Suede”, “The Beatles”.