Misfits Mid-Life Crisis……..

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in Tofo Mozambique (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 72, Saturday 31^st October until Friday 6^h November 2015.

Portuguese word of the week: “Corte de Energia”, Powercut we have lots here. 

 Electrical probs all week here.

Saturday, I lead 3 dives first a double tank to “Giants” and “Mikes Cupboard”, then “Salon” in the afternoon. On “Giants we had a huge fish that no one knew. Sarah our resident fish detective did some investigating and it turns out we saw a “Harry Hotlips” or “Dusky Sweet lips” must have been nearly a metre long. Finished the day at Brancos pizza with Kim the diver I collected from the airport yesterday, Jari the boss and my neighbour and fellow diver Jasmin. Very excited at about a pigeon’s nest in the roof of the kitchen and living room.

 While BBC shows Autumnwatch, I have Tofo Summerwatch all of my own. 

Sunday my day off. Sitting in my hut I realised that here in Tofo I only see a handful of people unlike in the UK there are thousands around at any time. Here I really only see and speak to a very small number of people every day. Which is why I think its important to give them a rest from my droning, so I on my day off I stay at home.

 This is what I do best on a day off, watch or listen to something in bed.

Monday, a wet and windy day, nothing happened in Tofo all was quiet. All throughout the day the power would cut off and return sometimes quickly other times after a period of time, by the afternoon these power cuts were getting longer. I skyped with SAZ and the kids which was lovely all the way through the lights kept going out which meant I would light a candle that Anaia would blow out (via Skype) when the power returned. However at 8pm the power died and didn’t come back for the rest of the night. Later there was a massive and very loud thunder storm, I checked on the nest mum was tucked up.

 Checking the nest during the storm.

Tuesday. One of the first things I did was check on the Pigeon all was ok after a noisy wet and windy night. The day carried on the same with bad weather, the sea was big so no one launched. Sarah and I painted tables, these are the same ones that I helped paint a year ago. The power didn’t come back until about 10am, everyone rushed to charge there electrical gear up just in case. I started to read an actual book as I didn’t want to use the kindle and waste the battery. We ended the day playing a board game that’s how bored we were.

 I love being creative.

Wednesday. I was asked to drive Jasmin and friends to Maxixe which is about a 150 mile round trip. I have never been there before but looked at a map it’s an easy route. One section appeared to be a little longer than I expected, I was worried id taken a wrong turn or missed the turn, I hadn’t. We were there to buy Kapalana, Mike had given me money for some. I even bought one for myself celebrating 40 years of Mozziebeak independence (its on my wall now). In one of the shops a member of the staff took a stick and walked to the door shouting and actually hit a man on the street who was being mouthy through the door, all very uncomfortable.

 Road trip to Maxixe.

Thursday, my tooth is really hurting, it’s been niggling me all week next week I have to go to SA so will go to a dentist. I hung about the shop for the morning dive but once they were back I went home. Popped in to the market bought electricity and a pair of cotton beach trousers to use as PJ bottoms. The guy wanted 650M but I got the price down to 500M. Spent the day sleeping, painting and watching progs.

  Loving Bob.

Friday, I was supposed to have had a dive but this was canx at the last minute. Therefore I spent the day painting benches, reading and learning Portuguese. It’s becoming an addiction as a number of us are learning were all looking at our small illuminated devices either talking or muttering to ourselves (ok I might be doing most of the talking and muttering). Next week I have to go to SA again, I have book a room back at Mamma Mia’s.

 This is how all Instructors get in there wetsuits, they have 3 DMT’s to help them.

In other news, Had a water problem, discovered that the gardener had left a hose on which was draining the tank. Rescued a baby caterpillar from my floor, I shepherded it across the floor and under the door. A baby bird was rescued from the dive centre and realised, it kept bumping in to the window trying to get out. Learned to shake wetsuits and other clothes before wearing them as one of the DMTs found a large cockroach in there’s after she had put it on. A sweet Downs man in Maxaie kept telling me “he liked me”, I gave him some fruit. According to the site I am learning Portuguese on I am 5% fluent, rubbis “Lixo”

 Downtown Maxixe a “Rock n Roll kind of place” and one of the shop’s we went to.

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have been watching: “Dragons Riders of Birk”, (Season 1, eps 4), “Defiance”, (Season 1, eps 1 to 12) & (Season 2, eps1 to 3), “Doctor Who: Invasion of the Zygons”, (Season 9/35, eps 7), “Star Wars: Rebels”, (Season 1, eps 3 to 5), “Top Gear”, (Season 3, eps 3 to 7), “The Blackadder”, (Blackadder season 1, eps 1 to 6),

This week I have mainly been listening to: ”LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (30 & 31/10/15), “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Mid-Week)”, (04/11/15), “Morrissey”, “The Crannberries”, “The Sundays”, “Shed Seven”, “Ash”, “Badly Drawn Boy”, “INXS”, “Outkast”,

Reading: “Along Came a Spider”, by James Patterson, ” The Bees”, by Laline Paull, “Knit One, Kill Two”, by Maggie Sefton, “Morrissey List of the Lost”, by Morrissey and “A Game of Thrones, A Song of Ice and Fire” book 2 “ A Clash of Kings” by George R.R. Martin.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in Tofo Mozambique (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 71, Saturday 24th October until Friday 30^th October 2015.

Portuguese word of the week: “VELA”. This means Candle very useful when there’s a power cut:  

Congrats to the happy couple 

 I was watching the cat, while it watched me.

Saturday: Started the day leading a double tank south to “Manta reef” and “Chamber of Secrets”, both really good viz lovely chilled dives. On “Manta” we did have a couple of large Groupers.   When setting up for the second dive I had one fin on and was about to put my second one when the boat moved and I fell in. Yes I fell in the sea in full scuba gear, I had to take everything off to get back in the boat to only then put all my gear back on again to dive. We have a lovely lady called Katherine diving with us she bought me a pizza how sweet was that. In the evening while eating my cheese, tomato and crisp rolls I noticed a tabby cat looking at me from outside, very sweet it didn’t run off when I left. I’m off tomorrow the plan was to stay up late. I didn’t went to bed early, but got up in the middle of the night surfed the web. I popped out to the living room (it’s in the next hut) and there was the cat again, this time it looked at me in the dark and ran.

 What I see from my bed inside my mozzie net.

Sunday, my day off we usually get one day off a week. Some weeks pass by without a full day off. I spelt in late, part of that was because the clocks went back in the UK and my computer and phone decided to change as well. I was a little confused as to what time it actually was. My day consisted of watching classy Marvel drama, visiting Suunto the puppy and taking Nadia to the petrol station to get fuel for Liquid.

 Over 11cm of worm, I couldn’t work out if it was having a drink from this puddle.  See these all over the place, I rescue them from the roads so they don’t get flattened.

Monday. I went on Ocean Safari and we had so many dolphins, there were dolphins everywhere. Normally they are shy and by the time you have got in the sea they have disappeared. But today they were playing and following us, there was a reason as the sea was full of jellyfish and small fish near the surface. During the safari we were in the water and were surrounded by dolphins. I was part of the pod, I could hear them chatting and whistling so loudly. Had lovely news about a future wedding.

  Mike and Carlo pics of the Dolphintastic Ocean Safari.

Tuesday, a dive to “Giants Castle” was the way I spent the morning, a large Grouper and a huge school of Big Eye Trevally seen. My falling out of the boat is now known as “doing a Dana” I really wish it had been filmed. I have also been a little arty when not diving and the place is quiet, have done cartoons regarding a future wedding and a Halloween one, will have to start thinking of what the rubbish painting will be this week. Had a couple of hours of no power this evening.

 My nasty blacked out mask’s for the snorkel test, I tested them you definitely couldn’t see.

Wednesday, I lead a dive to “Clownfish” a very shallow but pretty site. The sea is big and the wind is up so everything was within the bay today. I drove our captains to Tofofino to look at the conditions and we spotted a Humpback, this could be the last of the season for me. Its snorkel test time again, Carlo and Joonas tonight stop being DMT’s and become DM’s. I have prepared the snorkels by taping ¾ of an empty water bottle to the end so that the mixture of drink can be poured down for them to drink. I have also blacked out the lens so they can’t see. They are going to be made to put on smaller than normal dive gear wearing the blacked out masks while drunk, this will get messy.

 Snorkel time.

Thursday, Last night was very funny it really went well, I know that there were a lot of sore heads this morning. I did an Ocean Safari with a few of the people that came on the Dolphintastic one earlier in the week. Unfortunately no Whale sharks but there were more Dolphins but these were shyer and didn’t want to play. Nadia and I were invited out by Katherine, we had a lovely meal at Tofo’s Italian restaurant very nice not overly expensive food. Got to know Katherine well this last week will miss her. I have gone out twice this week, this could become a habit.

 About 20 mins difference between these pics.  The rain lashed down.

Friday, went on a dive to “Giants Castle” saw the large Potato Grouper that hugs the reef again. Drove Katherine to the airport said good bye. It’s not been a hot day and there were dark clouds around, but within 20 mins the sky was dark and the rain lashed down. I hope she wasn’t too delayed leaving Inhambane (the airport has no lights so can’t operate at night or in bad weather). I met a new diver and got soaked rushing to the car (only 20 or so metres). The drive back to Tofo was a little scary as I couldn’t really see where I was going due to rain and spray. The storm knocked out the power in the area, I bought some candles for tonight, however the power returned just before 6pm. Now making sure that everything is charged just in case. Oh we have a trip to the island in the estuary, they can’t get back to the mainland there having to stay the night there.

 At the airport, weather was still ok at this point.  Katherine with Jürgen a fellow Liquid diver and his wife on the same flight out of dodge.

In other news, a large Coconut Frond (leaf) fell seconds after I walked under it. The housekeeper did my washing, on a downside she unplugged the fridge and as a result there was water all over the kitchen floor. My diet here is not good, lot’s of bread and processed plastic cheese. So i have bought some pasta and tuna and tomato’s, also been eating a Mango a day. Some very sad news a local Dhow sank, 8 people mainly woman who had been fishing drowned.

 Bye dive buddie hope to see you in 2 years 11 months with MOZ when we come to the US to do the “Sideways” tour.

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have been watching: “Killjoys”, (Season 1, eps 7 to 10), “Marvel: Agent Carter”, (Season 1,eps 1 to 8), “Dragons Riders of Birk”, (Season 1, eps 3), “Defiance”, (Season 1, eps 1 to 4), “Doctor Who: The Woman Who Lived”, (Season 9/35, eps 6), “Star Wars: Rebels”, (Season 1, eps 2), “NASA TV coverage of Spacewalk 28/10/15”

This week I have mainly been listening to: ”LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (23 & 24/10/15), “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Mid-Week)”, (28/10/15), “Morrissey”, “Pulp”, “Lana Del Ray”, “LCD Soundsystem”, “The Kooks”,

Reading:” The Bees”, by Laline Paull, “Knit One, Kill Two”, by Maggie Sefton, “Morrissey List of the Lost”, by Morrissey and “A Game of Thrones, A Song of Ice and Fire” book 2 “ A Clash of Kings” by George R.R. Martin.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in Tofo Mozambique (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 70, Saturday 17th October until Friday 23^rd October 2015.

Portuguese word of the week: “Abelha”, Bee, as in Bumble Bee.  

HAPPY B’DAY MUM…..

Saturday a Turtletastic day. Lead a dive to one of my fave sites “Mikes Cupboard”, where we had 2 Turtles. One took a look at us and made its way to the surface. The other was larger and chilled at depth. Later I swept for Chris on “Clownfish” where there was another Turtle just making itself comfortable in its hidey hole on the reef. We had rumbles of thunder most of the morning and a little rain. Oh it’s my mums b’day today.

 My Turtletastic look.

Sunday, really nothing happened. A shop day, helped dives go out and come back in. It’s been mentioned to me that were getting a fridge tomorrow and a housekeeper who will tidy up and do the washing. There are other people in the next hut now, they have a dog but there not noisy at all.

 Preparing for a Dive.

Monday: The last few days I have been lucky to be driving one of the bosses cars, just from home to work, I could get used to this. Went on a mini road trip drove a number of the dive shop guys to the petrol station then to the supermarket, I felt like a parent taking the children out for the day. At the petrol station I saw the ginger kitty again, this time it was lounging on the counter only in Mozziebeak would you see that. The new housekeeper has been but the washing was just shoved in a draw.

 Just in case you don’t know where I am.

Tuesday: I was in the shop, Tofo is quiet, at one point I was reading and realised that my eyes were getting heavy so up and about I got I must have looked very fidgety just keeping awake. There have been reports of a couple of shark attacks in the area the fisherman are wanting a cull which really wouldn’t help the situ. Rusty stayed the night at mine. Viktor and Liz helped coax him in to the car with bread. Once home I met the neighbour’s cute black lab called Kiwi. Rusty was tired after a busy day at the dive shop being loved and fussed by everyone.

 Sarah, Liz, Carlo and Viktor mapping for there Divemaster, all were trying to out do each other. Rusty in the car after being bribed with bread.

Wednesday. After kitting up for a dive to “Marble Arch” I got stung on the forehead by a bee or a wasp. We have a lot of Wasps around and the Bees are huge compared to their UK cuz. It’s funny as I’m reading a sci-fi book about Bees and I was always telling my niece how important they are and they don’t want to hurt you. That’s why I suspect it was a wasp. But I am the dive professional and off to “Marble” we went, much better viz then recently. Once on the surface everyone was really happy about what we saw.

 The Wasp/Been sting pulled out of my forehead.

Thursday, Went on a beautiful dive to “Clownfish”, you could see the reef from the surface the water really was crystal clear. After the dive I went home and looked up at the clouds as the sun was going down. I decided to go to the beach which is about 90 seconds from where I live. It was just me and a random dog. I am on the beach and in the sea for diving but I never really just go there for pleasure, I spent time paddling and watching the clouds and the sky turn darker. After I took my washing to Chris as his housekeeper is going to do my washing me.

 Tofino (Little Tofo) Beach about 90 from home.

Friday, went to “Salon”, lead a customer round what was probably my best “Salon” dive ever. We didn’t see anything especially amazing just lots of small things, shrimp, nudies, lobsters, Trumpet fish. But it was the fact that the customer was as excited as I am about seeing these amazing creatures. Suunto the puppy went missing today, we all searched Tofo for him. I put out an alert on the local FB page. As I was about to drive home Joonas came up to me and said that he has been found. We drove to a very secluded area and found him living a five star life in a beach house pool being fed and called Bruce. It appears he just wondered off and followed a group back to their place. After playing hide and seek we got him in the car. All’s well that ends well.

  Suunto (or Bruce) who was living the Five Star life for a few hours near this secluded beach.

In other news: DMT Liz has a very small cute kitten. Drove to the petrol station and came back with 225 litres of fuel for the boat, could really feel how heavy the car was. Discovered a great tasting local yogurt, can’t help myself from buying and pouring over cereal. Have been shown a website that I can watch new Doctor Who on, very excited. Hopefully have ordered mats for the dive shop from a man down the road, fingers crossed. A couple have come to dive that were with us a year ago, they saw Nadia, Chris and my pics on the website and have returned. Joonas dreamed me and him were using our diving BCD to fly.

 Big fancy dress party tonight.  \cartlo made a ball and I painted Wilson from Castaway on the front.

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have been watching: “Orange Is The New Black”, (Season 3, eps 6 to 13), “Killjoys”, (Season 1, eps 7), “Top Gear”, (Season 2, eps 7 to 10) & (Season 3, eps 1), “True Detectives”, (Season 2, eps 1 to 3), “Star Wars: Rebels”, (Season 1, eps 1), “The Late Late Breakfast Show”, (BBC TV 1983) on You tube, “Doctor Who: The Magicians Apprentice”, (Season 9/35, eps 1), “Doctor Who: The Witch Familiar”, (Season 9/35, eps 2), “Doctor Who: Under the Lake”, (Season 9/35, eps 3), “Doctor Who: Before the Flood”, (Season 9/35 eps 4), “Doctor Who: The Girl Who Died”, (Season 9/35, eps 5).

This week I have mainly been listening to: ”LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (17 & 18/10/15), “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Mid-Week)”, (21/10/15), “Morrissey”, “Razorlight”, “The Killers”, “Pulp”, “The Cranberries”, “Suede”, “Lana Del Ray”, “Nana” “”Artic Monkeys”, “Sleeper”, “The Orb”.

Reading:” The Bees”, by Laline Paull, “Knit One, Kill Two”, by Maggie Sefton, “Morrissey List of the Lost”, by Morrissey and “A Game of Thrones, A Song of Ice and Fire” book 2 “ A Clash of Kings” by George R.R. Martin.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in Tofo Mozambique & Nels South Africa (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 69, Saturday 10th October until Friday 16^th October 2015.

Portuguese word of the week: “Pare” (Stop), such as a road stop sign.

 Eat my dust……

Saturday. A quiet day. All set up for a dive to “Giants”, when we were told it was scrubbed, due to the customers didn’t feel well. I downloaded “The Martian” on my Kindle and read 40% by end of the work day. Packed for the visa run tomorrow, I am staying in the same place as Jari and Brodie from Tofo Scuba the cost 380R works out about £18 a night plus brekkie not bad.

 Mamma Mia at 4am, shhhhh.

Left Tofo with Brodie at 4am, reached the boarder at 12.30 and arrived at the guest house in Nelspruit at 2.30. To bypass Maputo we travelled along a gravel/dirt road for a couple of hours, it’s like something out of a Top Gear challenge. I enjoy the bumpy road, but then I wasn’t driving.  Coz we arrived early we went shopping for supplies straight away, I bought a bug zapper a tennis racket looking device to kill mozzies, I had hours of fun with one at Cindy’s recently. When Jari and Jasmin arrived we went to eat, this didn’t prove easy as Jasmin is vegan, after looking around and my tummy rumbling we settled on a place. I eat myself silly as we had not eaten much during the day. Staying at a lovely place called Mamma Mia, I have a room with 2 beds might sleep in a different one each night. Got a TV but has limited channels.

    Brekkie and a coffee and muffin at Mugg & Bean.

Monday in SA. Jari dropped me at Riverside Mall. I saw 3 films all in 3D, I had about an hour or so between each, which meant I just nosed about the shopping centre was very quiet all day for a weekday. I really enjoyed all the films, my reviews as follows “The Martian” gets *****, “The Maze Runner 2: The Scorch Trials” gets **** and “Hotel Transylvania 2” gets ****. Annoyingly they are still cutting the credit; yes I watch them. I will write and complain as I have since read that there were extra scenes in 2 of the films I saw. I got a cab back to the hotel, for the 4^th time in a row I have the same driver Sifiso, he remembers all the places he has driven me before, is he my Nels stalker.

 In a large dark room wearing strange glasses, and a very quiet shopping centre.

Tuesday, Brodie and I left at 4am, made the queue for the border at 6am. Once the border was open we got stamped out of SA quickly, it was getting back in to MZ that took a lot of time. The queue just didn’t seem to be going down. There are people at the border that will for a fee take your passport and get it stamped, essentially they jump the queue. We paid a man to do this for us. He was back quickly with the stamp in the passport, but then another man took Brodies car papers and that’s what caused us problems. This brought us to the attention of border officials who wanted to look in the car and poke around in nooks and crannies. They could have asked for everything to be emptied luckily they didn’t, but this meant we didn’t leave the border until 7.30am. Travelling along the gravel/dirt road it made me think of a desert in fact there are huge cactus growing there. I saw a water truck filling barrels for people that live near the road, it can’t be an easy life there. Apart from a couple of stops for drink and food we carried on. Today was a scorching hot day even with all the windows open there didn’t feel like any air, we finally reached Tofo at 5.30pm I was dirty and very sweaty it was so nice to jump in the shower.

 Shes not the Stig, she’s Brodie from Tofo Scuba.  I think she could be the Stigs African cuz.

Thursday, went on a dive first thing to “Giants” a large Grouper was spotted in his usual place, we had a school of Big Eye Trevally above us and as we ascended we were in amongst the group. I have been in the middle of a group like this before, and wonder what really is going on in there heads they have a simple look to them. As always a delight to hear Humpbacks and Dolphins during the dive, on the surface we did in fact see humpys, they will soon be heading south so I have to make the most of each sighting. I did a scuba review in the pool the man a lovely American, all went well. The plan was then to go to “Salon” we kitted up a full boat of 3 different groups. A couple of hundred meters out the steering went we limped home will try again tomorrow. I have started this week’s terrible painting the 5^th since I arrived. Head is hurting hope it’s not a Migraine.

 More terrible painting.

Friday, its is a Frakking Migraine didn’t sleep much at all, plus its very hot. I took the advantage of the boss’s car and drove to Inhambane, did some chores for the Jari and bought myself a fan. Spent the rest of the day in the dark with not a lot of noise, need to be ready for work tomorrow. What a shit was to finish a good week.

  This is where I would work if I was in local government here.

In other news, rescued a huge Cockroach from my shower curtain. Poked myself in the eye while watching skateboarding on TV in SA. Saw a man holding a monkey by its tail in MZ on the side of the road (as if a driver is going to buy a monkey), then later saw a number of free monkeys in SA in what appeared to be a wildlife park. Passed an entire bus load of people having a wee, men on side woman the other it was like a scene from Carry On At Your Convenience (1971).

  This pond is in the shape of Mozziebeak.

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have been watching: “Orange Is The New Black”, (Season 3, eps 4 to 5), “Killjoys”, (Season 1, eps 6), “Top Gear”, (Season 2, eps 4 to 6), “Doctor Who: Rose”, (Season 1/27 ep 1), “Doctor Who: The End of the World”, (Season 1/27 ep 2), “The Martian”, (2015), “The Maze Runner 2: The Scorch Trials”, (2015), “Hotel Transylvania 2” (2015).

This week I have mainly been listening to: ”LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (09 and 10/10/15), “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Mid-Week)”, (14/10/15), “Morrissey”, “Suede”, “Bob Marley”, ”Nirvana”, lots of music in the car on the way to and from SA, some I cant admit to.

Reading: “The Martian”, by Andy Weir, “Knit One, Kill Two”, by Maggie Sefton, “Morrissey List of the Lost”, by Morrissey and “A Game of Thrones, A Song of Ice and Fire” book 2 “ A Clash of Kings” by George R.R. Martin.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in Tofo Mozambique (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 68, Saturday 3^rd October until Friday 9^th October 2015.

Portuguese word of the week: Ventilador (Fan).

 Very pretty, the same butterfly, taken a few minutes apart.

Saturday. My day off, played with Suunto the puppy who I had to keep my eyes on as he gets everywhere. I spent most of the day on the porch watching programmes and finishing a terrible painting. In the evening the local yoga teacher and future neighbour came round and cooked a wonderful vegan meal.

 My Saturday 3rd surprises.

Sunday was a shop day, a quiet day. It’s another public holiday tomorrow so this sleepy little fishing/diving community becomes a holiday location full of 4×4’s and other monster cars. I prefer the sleepy slightly hung over feel, but it’s good for the local business I suppose. The traffic parked in and around the market is terrible on days like this; I know a couple of people who will be sitting in their cars swearing and shouting at the 4×4’s just parked in the middle of the road.

 A much busier Tofo, public holiday style.

Monday, I did an Ocean Safari. I had briefed the group and were about to leave when 2 more people arrived and asked if they could join. I did a quick but concise brief and off we went, I could have taken my time as we had a tractor problem and were being launched by another dive shop which meant having to wait for them to be free. We had loads of dolphins on the trip but every time we got in the water they disappeared, I can imagine them watching us and laughing at how stupid we are. There were breaching humpbacks but they were too far away for us to reach but everyone saw them make a splash. There is not much humpy action at the moment they will be soon heading back south which is sad. I have moved in to my new place, I felt a little lonely when Jari dropped me off but that soon disappeared, I plan to be here till mid-December when I house sit for Chris.

  My new crib.

Tuesday was a wet day. Originally I was supposed to be Kayaking but then got asked to lead a dive to “Salon”. Not great viz but still a nice dive. Afterward it was straight out for another Safari, a very full boat who were again buzzed by many Dolphins, but we didn’t see anything else. This evening I had a sleepover with Rusty the dog, when it was time for bed I wasn’t sure what was going to happen. Would he sleep near the bed or across the room, no he had his own idea and climbed in after me under the mozzie net.

 He really was sleeping over.

Wednesday. My 3^rd Ocean Safari of the week and still nothing big. No Whalesharks I wonder if it’s something to do with the temp of the water as it has dropped a little. It’s time to organise my visa run, when I have to leave the country getting stamped out and back in again. I had heard of someone leaving tomorrow I did think about it but it was all very rushed. Jari my boss is heading south Sunday so am catching a lift with him, I want to be back asap.

 Walking to work early morning.

Thursday, worked in the shop watching the world go by, Tofo is a sleepy place again. Our Tractor is better after Para did major surgery with a hammer. I lead an afternoon dive to “Mikes Cupboard”, highlights were Octos one of which was really quite large, I also got buzzed by a Cowfish (love a Cowfish) it came so close to my face and circled the line and reel I was holding. A really lovely gentle 62 minute dive, the sound of Humpbacks was so loud they were very close, we kept looking up just in case. In the evening a group of us went to Liz and Narciso lovely house, walking in the dark with torches not really knowing where were going is always fun. First real power cut of the week once we arrived; everything looked pretty lit up by mobile phones. Great food and company.

 Going to the Boat, then at “Mikes Cupboard” about 16 metres depth (Pics thanks to Karoline).

Friday. This afternoon I went on my first deep dive since I returned nearly a month ago. It was great to be going back to “Giants Castle” (I’m there tomorrow morning, woo hoo). A huge Marble Ray half buried in the sand, large Moray and lots of schooling fish were the highlights. Great dive, so nice to be deep again. There are lots of birds at the dive shop I was watching a mum and baby for a while I don’t know what type of bird. Mum flew away baby tried to follow but just glided to the ground in front of Rusty who just looked at it, not sure who was more scared. Joonas picked up the baby (I know you’re not supposed to but this was an emergency) and put the baby on a roof. I just watched and watched it, after 15 minutes of mum getting nearer and nearer the pair were reunited, phew I can sleep tonight.

 Not sure who’s more scared, Rusty or the chick.

  Joonas gently put the chick on a roof near where it had been with mum.

In other news this week, saw two dogs stuck together during sex, the yelping and crying was horrible to hear. I helped by spooning coconut oil in to the palm of another person hand who massaged them free, I’m not naming the dogs to save there blushes. Drove Nadia’s quad bike which is always a thrill. Seen a couple of cute Cats where I live, I’m not attracting them as Cats have a tough life here and I wouldn’t want to be responsible for a death by a Dog. Another dive shop saw a Mola Mola while on Safari, how frustrating ahhhh. I find someone attractive.

 A Mola Mola or Sun Fish.

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have been watching: “Orange Is The New Black”, (Season 2, eps 10 to 13) & (Season 3, eps 1 to 3), “Killjoys”, (Season 1, eps 5), “Dark Matter”, (Season 1, eps 9 to 13), “Top Gear”, (Season 2, eps 2 & 3).

This week I have mainly been listening to: ”LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (02 & 03/10/15), “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Mid-Week)”, (07/10/15), “Morrissey”, “PJ Harvey”, “Elbow”, Fleetwood Mac”, “M.I.A”, “Santigold”,

Reading: “Knit One, Kill Two”, by Maggie Sefton, “Morrissey List of the Lost”, by Morrissey and “A Game of Thrones, A Song of Ice and Fire” book 2 “ A Clash of Kings” by George R.R. Martin.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in Tofo Mozambique (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 67, Saturday 26^h September until Friday 2^nd October 2015.

Portuguese word of the week: Cinquenta (Fifty), as in we have fifty litres of fuel on the Boat.

 Nuff said.

Saturday Tofo had sore heads because yesterday was a public holiday. I lead what I called a “mini” Ocean Safari for local Mozambiquians. Normally a safari is 2 hours looking for Whaleshark etc, this was supposed to be for 15 minutes to give local people an idea of what it was like to be at sea. In the end I had a full boat including a Policewoman in full uniform, who I did mention might get a little wet, she just shrugged her shoulders. I put everyone in lifejackets I wasn’t taking any chances. We didn’t see anything big but the group were overjoyed at seeing Dolphins. The trip lasted just over 30 minutes after all the photos were taken, I hope that we get the chance to do this more often. Helen tried to Skype me for Doctor Who, but the connection wouldn’t hold again, however i did hear a Dalek.

 Words cant describe the beauty of this place.

Sunday was a quiet day, I was on shop duty, I did rescue a wasp out of the pool, it just flew away without saying thank you. Took some of the DMT’s round to meet Veronica in the market, we left with plates full of rice and Matapa for 50 Mets (less than a pound). Had to hacksaw an old padlock off the case I left here while I was in the UK.

 The boat all loaded for a dive, ready to leave for the beach, Captain Patrick checking things over.

Monday, I lead a dive to “Mikes Cupboard”, the wind is getting up a bit and I think conditions are going to get worse over the week. When I dropped on the dive site I couldn’t see much as the viz was maybe 5 metres. Still a nice dive, highlight was a turtle sleeping in a crevice at 13 metres depth, we didn’t disturb it we all just watched it from a distance. I have moved from Casa Jenny and into my boss Jari house (Casa Forsman). Jenn helped me move all my rubbish. I was finding the water problem, filling 5 litre bottles to wash and flush the loo a little difficult. Nadia and Chris have asked me to do some house sitting in December and January. Managed to Skype with SAZ and family, mum is there at the moment so really nice chatting with her. More importantly I got to see and chat to Anaia and Jesse.

 Two very important ladies in my life.

Tuesday led a dive to “Simons Town”, on the way there we had a breeching Devil ray. My highlight on the dive was an Octopus walking around is plain site during the day. Once on the surface coming home we had a pod of Dolphins, I got in the water and did see a couple swimming away fast. But it was the 2 Whale Sharks that stole the morning. The one we snorkelled with was found to have a small fishing hook in its side, Joonas one of our DMT’s managed to pull it out. As Joonas and I were climbing into the boat the Whale Shark swam right past us, we had to move ourselves out of the way to avoid our fins crashing into this majestic gentle giant. It was as if it was saying “thank you” to Joonas. An hour after the dive I was in the pool with a young lad doing a scuba review, he hadn’t forgotten anything so tomorrow I’ll be taking him out in the sea. Had a Pizza with a number of the Liquids guys after work.

 Love a Branco’s.

 Downtown Tofo market.

Wednesday, I woke up looking like actor Michael Gambon, my eyes and the skin around them were all puffed up; they looked like they had been inflated. I’m not allergic to anything that I know of, took a pill and decided the best thing was to stay at home, so no Ocean Safari or diving for me. I did a painting and played with Suunto the puppy. Over the course of the day the puffiness went down but it didn’t look totally normal.

 I could have come of the set for Doctor Who or Star trek looking like this.

Thursday. My eyes are much better almost normal again. I lead a dive to “Marble Arch”, again the viz really was not good, saw lots of general reef life and some great Morays. We were buzzed by Dolphins on the way back. The little birds at Diversity Scuba that I have been watching have fledged, I saw them flying around good to see 3 of the 4 made it. In the evening I took part in a focus group for Joonas who is writing his thesis about how diving effects the reefs and the local community in both positive and negative ways. There were DMT’s/DM’s from all the dive shops in Tofo. I look forward to reading his finished paper next year. Walking back with Viktor and Sarah we were serenaded by the crickets and frogs and other insets. The stars were out in full force what a beautiful night. Got back home and Jari had cooked a beautiful meal.

 From Joonas focus group evening.

Friday. My eyes are better, but did feel a little itchy; I didn’t rub them of course. I conducted another Scuba Review first in the pool and then out on “Clownfish Reef”. The viz today was shocking there were times when there was zero viz just sand flying about, I really had to keep eyes on my customer. I deliberately stayed in areas where we could see the reef and reef life just so that it was an interesting dive for the client. Who was very happy with how things went, which is nice to hear. Have looked at a place that I am going to move in to early next week, I will be a neighbour to Nadia and Rusty. I will stay there until December when I house sit for Chris. The new place is 8000mets (about £160) a month, this includes water, house keeper, washing, gardener. This evening the Liquid guys are meeting up in Tofo for Sushi to mourn with me my b’day which is imminent (that’s all I’m saying).

 L to R: Liz, someone having a Mid-Life crisis, Nadia and The Great German Bake Off champion of Tofo  2015 (never a soggy bottom)Chris.

Chris made a cake, adapted from Leo’s (DM who was with us last year), so sweet, what a surprise.

  I had Happy B’day sung in Swedish and German and said in Finnish by members of the Liquid family, xxxxx.

Its been another great week in Tofo, I love this place so much and really could just go on and on about how I love it and how great it is. But I won’t.

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have been watching: “Orange Is The New Black”, (Season 2, eps 9), “Killjoys”, (Season 1, eps 4), “Dark Matter”, (Season 1, eps 8), “Top Gear”, (season 22, eps 6 & 7).

This week I have mainly been listening to:”LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (25 and 26/09/26 & 01 and 02/10/15), “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Mid-Week)”, (01/10/15), “Morrissey”, Elbow, Sigur Ross”, “Manic Street Preachers”, “Kate Bush”, “Natalie Imbruglia”

Reading: “Morrissey List of the Lost”, by Morrissey and “A Game of Thrones, A Song of Ice and Fire” book 2 “ A Clash of Kings” by George R.R. Martin.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in Tofo Mozambique (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 65, Saturday 19^h September until Friday 25th September 2015.

Portuguese word of the week: “Chuva” (Rain).

Mozziebeak is such a beautiful place; it was recently declared mine free (the mines were laid during a civil war from 1977 to 1992). The people here are smiley, they say hello to everyone and appear to be in general very happy. Many of them don’t have very much, I see children rolling hoops of metal or tyres down the road. Some have small cars made out of old recycled drink cans on the end of a stick that they race around these are there toys. They don’t have Ipads or the latest game system, I do think people back home, including me could learn a thing or two about what is actually important in life.

 This food tasted great.

Saturday was a wet rainy windy day in which nothing really happened. I walked to a local bakery on the return trip I ate all of my piping hot fresh out of the oven rolls in the rain. I was recently told that for £45.000 I could buy land build a house with water and electric, and set up a company (I might have got some of this wrong, but it’s about right). When you consider the cost back in the UK it really makes you think (not that I have that kind of money I should just say).

 Eating freshly cooked rolls. 

Skype didn’t work, so couldn’t watch new Doctor Who, Pooh, Bum and other words like that.

Woke up Sunday morning looked out of the window and saw Chickens running around. It had been another very windy night and there enclosure door had blown open. I never thought I would chasing chickens in my PJ’s. Spent the day in the shop helping set up and getting dives out this meant I got to spend the day with Rusty the dog.

 There were bats flying around when I took this.

Monday I lead the Kayak trip, due to a hiring of extra paddle’s issue we took a Dhow there and back. I enjoy the trip, but I do worry that going round the island is a little like a living human zoo. But income from the cost of the trip is ploughed into the community so it does help. All the customers were French who had a habit of singing “Tight Fit, The Lion Sleeps Tonight” (from 1982) in French, I just had to smile. Who else in the world is hearing that song on a Dhow with pink Flamingos nearby, probably very few out of 7 billion I suspect.

 I so loved this ginger Pussy I met at the petrol station.

Tuesday was a wet day, 2 dives 1 of which i lead. If I named all the amazing life I saw on theses dives there would be no room for important things as what I watched during the week in this blog. When a fish swims very close I wonder what there thinking, are they bothered by this intrusion into their environment. More Humpy action on the surface including breaching, finn flapping, the sea above and below is just “so alive. Had a couple of power cuts in the evening, I’d forgotten how much of a pain they can be.

 Is this true love, this was every morning at Cindys around 5am I didn’t want to move.

Wednesday a day off, I got out in to the garden and painted a watercolour of Cindy’s house. I want to do a painting each week while I’m here. The gardener kept looking at me strangely sitting under a tree on my own. I cleaned out the guppies I was terrified I would lose one of the microscopic babies, I don’t think I did. Had a couple more short power cuts in the evening. It’s been that kind of a “rock n roll day in Tofo.

 I know its crap, but it kept me busy for a while. 

Thursday I learned how to fill air tanks for diving, the tank I used to go to Clownfish reef was filled by me. This site is shallow and really could be a scene from Finding Nemo. After 50 minutes we surfaced and saw that everyone was sunning themselves on the boat waiting for us. I went to bed about 9.30, around 10pm I heard a car pull in to the drive, then I heard children’s voices. Cindy and family were back; I jumped out of bed and gathered my stuff up. They hadn’t intended on coming all the way home that late. I slept on a sofa/bed while they settled themselves in to their house.

 Joey my adopted Mozziebeak son.

Friday I woke up a little early, crept about not wanting to wake the family up and left for the dive shop. There is a Sparrow family that have a nest in the roof of another dive centre. Jenny is now based there, I go there for coffee and watch the female and male Sparrow taking food to the chicks. Today I actually saw 2 chicks being fed, that really made my day. Lead an awesome Ocean Safari in the afternoon, we saw everything Humpbacks, a Turtle on the surface, lots of Dolphins who didn’t want to play, two Whalesharks and a Manta in the bay. Tonight I move in to Jenny’s place which is only a couple of minutes from Cindy’s, Jenny and I live there with what appears to be Tofo’s entire population of Mosquito’s the house is buzzing. We have a water problem which mean we can only one tap on the result of this is we have to fill 5 litre bottles to do things in the bathroom.

 My new home, spot the Mozzies flying around.

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have been watching: “Orange Is The New Black”, (Season 1, eps 9 to 13) & (Season 2, eps 1 and 2), “Killjoys”, (Season 1, eps 3), “Dark Matter”, (Season 1, eps 1 to 7), “Top Gear”, (season 22, eps 1 to 5).

This week I have mainly been listening to: “Morrissey”, “Natalie Imbruglia”, “Elbow”, “Regina Spektor”, “Arcade Fire”, “Antony And The Johnson”

Reading: “An Unofficial Guide, Companions, Fifty Years of Doctor Who Assistants” and “A Game of Thrones, A Song of Ice and Fire” book 2 “ A Clash of Kings” by George R.R. Martin.

 Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in London, Cairo, Joberg and Tofo Mozambique (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 65, Saturday 12^th September until Friday 18th September 2015.

Portuguese word of the week: Alfândega

 In Joberg Airport.

Saturday 12 of September I left the UK for the next chapter of my adventures in Tofo Mozambiqie. SAZ and Anaia took me to the airport, the traffic was horrendous but it will be remembered because that’s when the new leader of the Labour party Jezzer Corbyn was announced. Met MOZ at Heathrow we spent quality time together before I had to leave, of course it was sad, especially hugging my niece, there was a lot of waving as I went through the barrier of no return.

   Bye bye Heathrow.

This is the third time I have flown Air Egypt at 15.00 on a Saturday and yes for the third time the flight was late. We boarded on time but didn’t actually take off until after 4pm, I could have spent more time with MOZ, SAZ and Anaia. London to Cairo passed by quickly, I watched a couple of movies, I ate all the food, I love airplane food. Spent a couple of hours at Cairo before boarding another late flight. I took my seat and got a surprise as the person who was sitting next to me was the same woman from the flight from London. On the previous flight we didn’t really say anything to each other. But from Cairo we got to know each other, her name was Peta a graphic designer who had been visiting relatives in the UK. Joberg Peta and I wished each other a safe and happy onward journey and said goodbye.

 No Starbucks in Joberg Airport, but they do have Mugg & Bean (with 30mins of free wifi), look at the size of the Muff(in) I got my nose in to.

At Joberg airport I found one of my cases for the Mozambique airline LAM was 4kg over, but a nice man said as I was flying alone I could pass through. That flight is quick; the plane is small and noisy as it has large propeller engines.

  My LAM flight from Joberg to Inhambane.

Jenny met me at Inhambane airport, during the car ride to Tofo I was pleased to see that nothing had really changed. People still walk in the middle of the road, goats and cows munch grass and other bushes by the road and building that were being build are still being built. First stop the dive shop to say hi to everyone, I felt like a celebrity as most people were there to say hi (they were probably already there if I’m honest) huge hugs all round. Then it was off to the market to say hello or being stopped to say hello. I really felt at home, it was as if 6 months hadn’t passed.

  Inside the LAM flight, I could just glimps the flight deck for a mo, even small airplane good is nice.

I am staying at Nadia housesitting for a few days and looking after Rusty the dog, he is however really looking after me. Later in the week it was confirmed that I was going to house sit for Cindy in her newly purpose build house. My first evening was at Cindy’s having a meal with Jenny and Cindy and family.

  25,000ft above Mozziebeak and Inhambane Airport (its really the small building on the right).

Monday I slept in and didn’t actually arrive at the dive shop until late. That’s when I had my run in with authority. Three men from Alfândega (customs) wanted to look at papers concerning the boats; everyone in the area was being visited. Something was not quite right so tomorrow I’m going to have to go in to Inhambane with one of the Portuguese speaking guys to try and sort it out. The boss of the dive shop has gone to South Africa, if you’re wondering.

 In the Chappa.

Joey and I went to Inhambane on Tuesday because I was going to a government building I had to wear trousers and a t-shirt. We took a Chappa a small mini bus crammed full of people. I met a man going to college who was wearing glasses with no glass, I asked him about them he said they were good on him. Once in Inhambane we went to Alfândega an office with people in uniforms just sitting reading the paper or watching what appeared to be a Brazilian news channel. Luckily one of the men from yesterday was there so I didn’t have to go in to detail; he promised that the papers would be returned tomorrow, that’s all good. In the chappa home I nodded off, this is when I started to feel a little strange; I’m calling it Tofo tummy.

 The view out the back of the dive shop, wow..

Wednesday the tummy was definitely not well so stayed home, did some painting and rested.

Thursday I could have dived but the tummy was still not 100%, I decided that a wobbly tummy at depth was not a good idea. But I am diving tomorrow. Found all my dive gear at the dive shop have hung it up in its usual place i’m already to get wet. By the way the customs man didn’t come back on Wednesday, knew it was too good to be true.

 Thanks Jen, enjoyed that lots.

Friday was a wet day, first a double tank to two shallow sites, so nice to be on and in the water again. Even better being entertained by Humpback whales, never bored of a Humpy. The dives were chilled; my highlight was a large Octopus. In the afternoon there was an Ocean Safari, we were teased by dolphins saw Humpbacks but not a lot else and due to engine probs so we had to cut the trip short. I have moved out of Nadia’s place said goodbye to Rusty and moved in to Cindy’s house. After only just a few minutes I messed up the TV (Cindy has TV) at least I have stuff on my hard drive.

 Two of my new housemates from Friday night.

Been a great week (not really a week officially) in Mozambique what will happen in the next, certainly more diving I hope.

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have been watching: “Tomorrowland : A World Beyond (2015)”, “Mad Max: Fury Road”, (2015), “Orange Is The New Black”, (Season 1, eps 3 to 8), “Dragons Riders of Berk”, (season 1, eps 1 & 2), “Killjoys”, (Season 1, eps 1 & 2), “Doctor Who: In to the Dalek”, (Season 8/34, eps 2), “Top Gear”, (Season 1, eps 1 to 10), “Dark Matter”, (Season 2, eps 1 to 3).

This week I have mainly been listening to: “Morrissey”, “Smiths”, “Lauren Aquilina”, “Kate Bush”, “Lana Del Ray”.

Reading on “Soviet Space Dogs”, by Olesya Turkina and “A Game of Thrones, A Song of Ice and Fire” book 2 “ A Clash of Kings” by George R.R. Martin.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in ………….. Surrey, Essex, North London, Central London, East London.

Week 64 (or Week 25 of the new adventure), Saturday 5^th September until Friday 11th September 2015.

 Me and my friends.

This is the end of what I have been calling “The New Adventure”, i have been back in the UK since early March a lot longer then I originally planned. Tomorrow I leave and return to Mozziebeak, a new chapter of the mid-life crisis is about to start.

 Found inside MOZ living room, very pretty.  I managed to realise this pretty in to her garden.

This really has been a busy week. I visited my storage, and can confirm that all the sci-fi shit is still locked away. I visited Spike the Cat who remembered me, I love to see him running around “his” garden and can’t believe that this is the same Cat who lived with me in a first floor flat for 14 years. He really is enjoying his retirement with adopted mum and dad Jane and Nigel. I cycled home happy with a belly full of fish and chips and cake, what a great night.

 With Spike. 

I saw Moira this week; we went to a pub and put the worlds to rights. I will miss our meetings and look forward to picking up where we left off in the future, another nice evening with a good friend.

 Fun with stickers.

Very importantly this week I have spent a lot of time with Anaia and Jesse. I took Anaia to her swimming lesson and can proudly report that my niece floated on her back unaided for a full 5 seconds like a starfish. I introduced Anaia to Monkey nuts which she though was a funny name. We went to the park fed Squirrels with the nuts and Ducks with stale bread, then played in the playground and finished up in Costa before going home. I got to take them to and from nursery a couple of times this week as well which is always fun. I will miss my little friend’s lots.

 So tasty….

It goes without saying I will miss MOZ hugely, she took a couple of days off so we got to spend quality time together. Highlight of the week was being mugged by a brazen Squirrel in Regent Park who was so confident; he just strode up to us and demanded feeding. In the end he was on top of my bag and the back of the bench we were sitting on taking nuts from us. For about 20 minutes MOZ and I were his best friends until he disappeared, he must have discovered a better quality of monkey nuts the other side of the park. Still it brought a smile to our faces.

 Quack.

MOZ and I went to a pub that has a little Thai restaurant upstairs in Central London. The waitress always remember us and make us feel so welcome. Due to being night time we didn’t really get to play our game of watching the Police taking crims in to the police station just outside, maybe next time.

 Greedy guts.

I am so grateful to my sister SAZ and her lovely partner Tim for their hospitality over the last 6 months. They allowed me to live in their house, let my shoes stink out the porch and my cycling gear take over there shed. I will never fully be able to say thank you to them and their family for everything that they have done for me. Next time I return I’m going to see if I can live in a tent in my mum’s garden for a while.

 The cute mugger of Regent Park.

That’s it, I’m all packed and ready to go, the So-Called Blog will continue and hopefully it will be more interesting. As I have said before the main reason I’m doing this is so that one day my niece and nephews will be able to read about what there strange mad aunty got up to when they were young during her Mid-Life Crisis.

 Sitting by the Thames on a work day drinking Cider.

Thank you Reigate you have been great…. Tofo here I come……

 Love Little Bears.

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have been watching: “DOCTOR WHO”, (Season 9/35 Prologue) “The Great British Bake Off”, (Season 6, eps 6), “The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice”, (Seaon 2, eps 6), “Ripper Street”, (Season 3, eps 7), “Fried” (eps 3), “Top Coppers”, (Season 1, eps 4), “Mountain Goats”, (Season 1, eps 4), “Cradle to the Grave”, (eps 2), “Horizon, Cosmic Dawn: The Real Moment of creation”, (2014/15, eps 18), “Hacker’s Birthday Bash – 30 years of Children’s BBC”.

This week I have mainly been listening to: “Morrissey”, “Smiths”, “Alt-J”, “Lauren Aquilina”, “Kate Bush”, “Blondie”, “Pulp”, “The Rocky Horror Picture Show: original soundtrack”.

Reading on Kindle……“A Game of Thrones, A Song of Ice and Fire” book 2 “ A Clash of Kings” by George R.R. Martin.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in ………….. Surrey, Croydon and North, East, West London,

Week 63 (or Week 26 of the new adventure), Saturday 29th August until Friday 4th September 2015.

This week has been a busy one. I finished work at Croydon Council, I didn’t really enjoy the job and hated the phones, but I got used to it. The people on my bank of desks, Jill, Colin, Donna, Caroline, Glenn and Debbie plus Rogers, Eileen and Mary and others made life easy.

  L to R, Debbie, Caroline, Donna, Colin, Mary, Jill and Rogers.

In honour of “dress down Friday” I wore my denim skirt today it’s become tradition. The first few months on the job really were not easy, I know my Council Tax but being on the phones all the time was not fun. At 8.45am I would get nervous and watch the clock until 9am when the lines opened that’s when hell opened up. The lines used to close at 5pm, however they recently changed to 4pm and as a result I would get in as early as possible so I could leave as soon after 4pm. I’m going to miss the 30.2 mile cycle I would do 3 to 4 times a week, the hills were a bugger but I did enjoy it while listening to the radio dodging cars and lorries.

 Frank my Evening Standard man in Croydon.

My last day was Tuesday because Monday was a bank holiday, for once I didn’t care about stats, how many calls I took or how long they were. I was there for nearly 6 months; the 5^th floor became a temporary home that I really got used to. I wonder if it’s safe to vent all the CT knowledge from my noggin, but then “never say never” I suppose.

 I was busy during my last day at work.

I have been busy painting and have finally completed all the pictures for the children’s story. There not great, they look like an infant has painted them by rubbing a full nappy over the paper but it’s the best I can do. Next I need to get the text on to them, not sure how I’m doing that. I have 2 more stories on the go but they will have to wait now until I return to Mozziebeak. I am taking my paints and brushes with me not just for the stories but to paint Tofo and what I see around me.

 Water colours.

Tooks bags of old clothes to a local charity shop, going up and down the high street looking like so strange black bag lady.

 My two new hats.

In this final week I need to revisit my storage and pay up front for 6 months. I have handed a list of my sci-fi shit to a local comic shop not heard anything as yet, fingers crossed. I want to visit Spike the Cat, see Moira chat to mum and my sister Hel. Most important is spending time with Anaia and Jesse, I picked them up from nursery on Thursday Jesse came running up to me and Anaia had been telling people how I’m her best friend. I can’t thank SAZ and Tim so much for the last 6 months I will never fully be able to thank them.

  Is this modern art, West London on left, Surrey on right.

I have been asked a number of times recently what my future holds. I can honestly say I have no idea, is that good for a nearly 47 years old to say.

  Emmm, so tasty.

Celeb spotting’s of the week saw Lorraine Asbourne on the phone in the rain on the South bank. While looking for Kenwood House (needing the loo) MOZ and I stumbled across a man in a pink shirt in the woods on Hampstead Heath walking his dog. He heard us talking and pointed us in the right direction. I knew his voice, it was Terry Jones from Monty Python a hero of mine, I looked at him said ”thank you” and “I was a huge fan”, he smiled and carried on with his walk, we reached the loos.

 A flower in the secret garden and a Kenwood Rat.

In other news….. Eating ice cream at Kenwood having a problem with a wasp who wanted us to share, got shown a “secret garden” (it’s not really) at Kenwood and told stories by a member of staff about Rowen Atkinson, Sara Cox and Nick Grimshaw and the woman who plays the wife in “Doc Martin”. A Cat annoying a group of Jackdaws and Magpies. Seeing a lot of damp people who had been to Notting Hill Carnival. Drinking wine in a sports bottle secretly. Buying a lot of cake to say goodbye to Croydon. Went to White City to see the mess that is BBC Television Centre a building I have such fond happy memories off. Got my Mozziebeak visa.

 What’s left of TVC.

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have been watching: “Witnesess”, (esp 5 & 6), “Partners In Crime”, (eps 6), “The Great British Bake Off”, (Season 6, eps 5), “The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice”, (Seaon 2, eps 5), “Ripper Street”, (Season 3, eps 6), “Building the Ancients City: Athens and Rome”, (eps 2), “Fried” (eps 1 and 2), “World’s Busiest Railway”, (eps 1 to 4), Horizon: OCD A Monster in My Mind”, (2014/15 eps 16), “Trainwreak”, (2015), “Orange is the new Black”, (Season 1, eps 1 & 2), “Top Coppers”, (Season 1, eps 2 & 3), “Brushing up on: British Bridges”, (Season 1, eps 2), “Brushing up on: British Towers”, (Season 1, esp 3), “Mountain Goats”, (Season 1, eps 3).

This week I have mainly been listening to: “Morrissey”, “Smiths”, “Wolf Alice”, Fat Boy Slim”, “Catfish and the Bottlemen”, Everything Everything”, Florence and the Machine”, “Cornershop”, “M.I.A”, “Strokes”.

Reading on Kindle……“A Game of Thrones, A Song of Ice and Fire” book 2 “ A Clash of Kings” by George R.R. Martin.