Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in South, East & North London (The NEXT Chapter). Week 101 Saturday 21st May until 27th May 2016. Should I take the Blue or the Red pill….. Mond…
Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in South, East & North London (The NEXT Chapter).
Week 101 Saturday 21st May until 27th May 2016.
Should I take the Blue or the Red pill…..
Monday to Friday I spend a lot of my time wishing my life away, I know this is wrong but when you’re stuck in an office in London there’s not a lot to wish for. In the morning I try to arrive as early as possible, this means I can make my way home as soon after 4pm as I can. To do this I have to wake up even earlier than I used to then squeeze myself on to already packed trains. I do wonder if any of the others sardines are trying to get in to work as early as possible so they can leave quicker.
I cant even get a priority seat most of the time on the “Ginger line”.
As soon as the train doors open the race starts to get out of the station and in to the office as quickly as I can so I can log on to the computer. The quicker I do this the earliest I can leave in the afternoon. At the end of the day I travel home on another packed trains looking around for a seat, or hoping someone might give me one.
Once home I spend a few hours trying to relax after the stress of the day, do things that I need to and of course eat before going to bed early so I can repeat the routine the next day all over again. It’s really not much of a life if you think about it, but then 99% of us live like this. Who ever thought of the process of work really should have been put up against a wall and stoned or shot when they told everyone that they had a bright idea.
Its fun to be an adult sometimes.
During the day I sit chained to my desk working out how much longer I have until I can leave. Once it reaches midday everything just seems easier. I usually have a late lunch at 2pm this means that once I start work again I only have an hour or so of the daily torture to go.
A cutie seen on the tube.
I know it’s not healthy to wish your life away but it’s what I have to do to get through the day, I suspect that most people feel the same.
Look outs in Regents Park in what we call Muggers hill.
Another way I get through the day is to think of nice things such as feeding squirrels and pigeons over the weekend. Sitting in Regents Park with my best friend waiting for squirrels to come over and take a monkey nut is something that lifts my heart. Some squirrels are bold they just strut up and demand a monkey nut a little like a mugger. Others appear all shy and take their time to come over looking around constantly making sure there’s no threat. Once they have taken the nut they scurry off to the safety of a tree or favourite bush.
One of the Regent Park muggers.
I love to watch nature, it doesn’t matter if it’s a Whaleshark or Dolphin in the Indian Ocean, a Swan or a Rat on Hampstead Heath, a Robin in the garden or a Squirrel in the middle of polluted London. There is something so calming about being surrounded by a creature which is just going about their daily business, trying to survive.
He really did want to come home with me, i’ll have to try and break him out one night.
That’s what I’m trying to do, just survive. Putting life in scuba diving terminology my buoyancy is overly negative I feel like I’m sinking to the bottom uncontrollably. To stop this I need to abandon some my extra weight (weight from my weight belt, not my tummy). I need to drop them which will allow me to float back to the surface. I know were not supposed to enjoy work but I am finding this so difficult at the moment. I didn’t get the job I was interviewed for last week, so I need to look around and find something less stressful. I don’t enjoy what I am doing at all; in fact I can’t bare the thought of doing this daily until possibly January next year.
I need to start looking for another job, something that won’t stress and upset me something that will allow me to write. In the meantime I must remember the wonderful times with nature big and small that always brings a smile to my face.
In other news…..
In other news: My small niece telling me something on TV was “Cool” I felt old. After a tough morning at work I spent a lunchtime watching children’s TV to relax, one of my bosses thought that was strange. When asking for 2 scoops of ice cream, the man asked me which order I wanted them; I shrugged saying “Don’t mind”, the look he gave me said wonders. A Friend taking off her tights in the open discreetly and no one noticed.
The Mid Life Crisis Conts……
This week I have been watching: ”The Graham Norton Show”, (Season 19, eps10). “Have I Got News For You”, (Season 51, eps 8). “Upstart Crow:”, (Season 1, eps 3). “In The Club”, (Season 2, eps 4). “Witless”, (Season 1, eps 5). “Pure Evil”, (Season 1, eps 12 to 13). “Kabal Kitchen”, (Season 1, eps 6 to 9). “Locked Up”, (Season 1, eps 1 to 10). “Horizon: E-Cigarettes Miracle or Menace”, (2015/16 eps 10). “Kate Bush At The BBC”, (22/08/14). ”CBeebies Bedtime Stories: From Space!”, (eps 544). “The Clangers”, (Season 1, eps 26 to 32). “Frank Skinner On Demand With…. Chris Packham”.
This week I have mainly been listening to: ”LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (20 & 21 & 27/05/16). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Mid-Week)”, (25/05/16). “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (26/05/16). “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (23, 24, 25 & 26/05/16). “Morrissey”, “Artic Monkeys”, Badly Drawn Boy”, “The Kooks”, “Florence & The Machine”, “The Verve”, “Kate Bush”, “.
Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in South and East London (The NEXT Chapter).
Week 100 Saturday 14th May until 20th May 2016.
Tofo beach and some of the wonderful people I worked with
This is week 100 of the blog, and to celebrate I thought I would look back at some of my fave pics from the last 100 weeks. I can only show a very small handful here out of the many that I have featured during these weeks. Looking at them brings back so many happy memories of the wonderful people I met, many I call friends. Living and working in Tofo Mozziebeak, visiting South Africa for visa runs and of course Scuba diving in the beautiful Indian Ocean. I hope you enjoy these pictures as much as I do.
Bracelets for everyone, I finished painting the new Liquid Logo.
The Mid-Life Crisis Adventures blog continues….. My aim is to return to Tofo later this year, how and when is all part of the adventure I call the mid-life crisis…
A beautiful peaceful place.
In other news…..
Friendly faces.
While in London with friends I saw a group of aging teddy boys, a few cowboys, and ladies in bras and shorts (for a charity walk), all of these were spotted separately. The only thing that impressed me about Eurovision was the 90 million pixel stage. I have been searching for a dress for my sister’s wedding. Had an interview for a job in a part of London I’ve never been to. I couldn’t be bothered to walk to the tap to put extra water to put in my morning porridge, so I poured slightly cold coffee instead. I keep hearing someone (a man) in the benefit section singing opera. My Cat Spike (who now lives with friends) was 15 this week, went and visited him and he remembered me.
A Zebra at Bundu in South Africa, With Mike at depth.
My daily commute and a short cut through a village during the Visa run.
Walking around Maputo looking for a cinema, Mike squeezing in to a small wetsuit.
Toads, Beer and the Liquid Family.
The Mid Life Crisis Conts……
Geeks ready for Doctor Who night, walking along the beach.
Going home.
This week I have been watching: ”The Graham Norton Show”, (Season 19, eps9). “Have I Got News For You”, (Season 51, eps 7). “Upstart Crow:” , (Season 1, eps 2). “In The Club”, (Season 2, eps 3). “Witless”, (Season 1, eps 4). “Pure Evil”. (Season 1, eps 1 to 11). “Kabul Kitchen”, (Season 1, eps 1 to 5). “The genius of Marie Curie – The Woman Who Lit Up The World”. “Eurovision”, (2016). “Despicable Me”, (2010).
This week I have mainly been listening to: ”LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (14 & 15/05/16). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Mid-Week)”, (18/05/16). “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (19/05/16). “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (16, 17 & 18/05/16). “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Extra)”, (17 & 18/05/16). “The Queer Life”, (Eps 85). “Morrissey”, “Artic Monkeys”, Jimi Hendrix”, “Ash”, “Ladyhawke”, “Blondie”, “Alanis Morissettte”, “James”.
Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in South and East London (The NEXT Chapter).
Week 99, Saturday 7th May until 13th May 2016.
The start of this week (last weekend) was very hot, maybe not as hot as Mozziebeak but it was enough to break out the flip flops and the sun cream. The temperature decreased over the course of the week which meant that others started to cover up, not me as I am always warm and dressed for summer all year round.
A lot of pasty flesh was on show early this week.
The sun only has to show its face for a moment and all over a large amount of pale flesh appears on every street, skin that has not seen the light of day since last summer. My best friend and I like to play a game during this time of the year we call it “Oh, you really should not be wearing that”. I realise that I am a contestant in other people’s version of the same game.
Summer is almost here.
The weeks really do pass quickly, I know it’s a clichés but it’s true. Next week is the 100th week that I have been writing this blog. I have stated this before that there are two main reasons for writing these. One, my very young Nephews and Niece will be able to read about what they’re mad fat old aunty got up to when they were small. The other reason is when I’m sitting in a care home, dribbling and wetting myself staring blankly at daytime TV not knowing who I am or where I am or even what a TV is. Hopefully someone might be able to read these blogs which might spark a happy memory.
Its flip flop weather for me no matter what the temp.
Over the last 99 weeks I have done a lot. In May 2014 I packed my life away, giving a huge amount of stuff I didn’t want to charity shops. I also did a number of car boot sales, I didn’t find selling my shit difficult it was the haggling I couldn’t do I must have lost a lot of money due to a lack of confidence. The rest of my belongings all my sic-fi collection and personal things were packed in to storage which is still costing me a lot of money every month.
Really enjoyed the Target Doctor Who Art Exhibition I went to see, oh and the number of pints after as well.
From June 2014 until March 2015 I lived in Mozziebeak I got to work at a dive centre and qualified as a Dive Master, I even helped run the dive shop when the managers and bosses were away. At night I would look up at a beautifully clear sky filled with more stars than I had ever seen. I got used to regular power cuts, water shortages and a general lack of mod cons.
Took MOZ to hospital after her fall this week, she was glued together.
On my return to the UK I lived with family, cycled every day and worked in an office in South London doing a job I hated.
MOZ and friend in the local park, one of them is nuts for a monkey nut.
I returned to Tofo in September 2015 my lasting memory of leaving the country is my sister doing a mini fist pump in her car when the new Labour leader was announced on the radio. Diving in the Indian Ocean was an adventure every time even when the viability was as bad as diving in a gravel lake in the UK. However, most of the time the viability was just spectacular all around. I got to snorkel, swim and scuba dive with a range wonderfully huge creatures such as Humpback Whales, Manta rays, Whale sharks and Dolphins. But it’s the smaller inhabitants such as Nudibranchs, Sea Apples, Morays, Sea Cucumbers or a Starfish going for a slow walk across the sand that made my heart swell. I would especially excited when I saw an Octopus, Squid or dived in amongst a Jellyfish bloom.
All aboard.
I would commute to the dive shop daily walking along a beautiful deserted beach with only the odd fisherman and a large number of crabs doing crabby things to disturb me. I would paddle in the warm Indian Ocean as it lapped against the sand, I was such a happy person. Since I came back to the UK in March 2016 I now travel to work on a number of trains and tubes trying not to get squashed in a corner on the wrong side of the train while looking for a spare seat. I think you can guess which commute I prefer.
I was bored at work.
My time in London is temporary, I only intend on being here until I have enough money to return to the little paradise that is Tofo in Mozziebeak beside the sparkling Indian Ocean. If anyone wants to help contribute in allowing me to return sooner please contact me…..
In other news…..
Who wouldn’t go to bed then.
Watching a crane at the top of a multi coloured tower block swinging around and lowering a tiny gondolier over the edge is strangely therapeutic. I bought some plimsolls for £9.99 but I had to return them which cost me £8.55. I really should have just given them to someone who is homeless. Babysat my Nephew and Niece both of which wouldn’t go to sleep, I’d like to think it was they wanted to be with me however I suspect they missed mum and dad. MOZ dreamt about knees with a beard, she really should stop eating cheese at night.
The Mid Life Crisis Conts……
This week I have been watching: ”The Graham Norton Show”, (Season 19, eps8). “Have I Got News For You”, (Season 51, eps 6). “Horizon: Curing Alzheimer’s”, (2015/16 eps 9). “Flowers”, (Season 1, eps 1 to 6). “The Sky at Night: Mercury: The Problem Child”, (eps 750, 08/05/16). “The Sky at Night: Classics” (22/09/79, 04/02/86, 10/09/89, 11/12/95 & 07/02/05). “Upstart Crow: Star Crossed Lovers”, (Season 1, eps 1). “Alan Carr: Chatty Man”, (Season 16, eps 10). “Game of Thrones”, (Season 6, eps 2). “Witless”, (Season 1, eps 1 to 3). “Cunk on Shakespeare”.
This week I have mainly been listening to: ”LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (07, 08 & 13/05/16). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Mid-Week)”, (11/05/16). “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (12/05/16). “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (06, 09, 10 & 11/05/16). “The Queer Life”, (Eps 84). “Morrissey”, “Teagan & Sarah”, Sophie B Hawkins”, “Beck”, Biffy Clyro”, “The Killers”, “Manic Street Preachers”, “Jake Bugg”, “Badly Drawn Boy”, “The Chemical Brothers”, “Black Grape”, “M.I.A”, “LCD Soundsystem”, “The Sundays”.
Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in South and East London (The NEXT Chapter).
Week 98, Saturday 30th April until 6th May 2016.
I’m a sucker for anything free, who isn’t if there offered something for nothing most people would take it. My down fall is free magazines or newspapers. Every week I end up with a collection of free publications that I have stuff in my bag, most of them I only glance through.
I found these mugs like this in a shop.
Monday to Friday I rush through Croydon twice a day, either to get in to the office as early as possible, or at the end of the day to try and get the earliest train out of town. I try not to stop for anything; I walk as fast as I can without running, dodging people, prams or annoying school children playing football in the middle of a pedestrian shopping area.
Unusual R2D2 merchandise.
All I am concentrating on my goal (the office or the train) it’s as if I don’t see anything other than my final destination. I even dodge pigeons who are minding their own business doing important pigeon things (I’m a pigeon fan and don’t want to disturb them).
Doodles at work.
However there is one thing I home in on, like a homing pigeon. That’s a person standing holding out a free magazine or newspaper. There are a couple of people that I have even started to say “hello”, “have a good weekend” or just “thank you”. In fact I usually end up with a couple of copies of the same free paper on the way home as I pass a couple of vendors. One of them a woman who looks so thin and fragile with a pained look on her face, as she stands holding her papers out to passing people. I feel the need to go over and take one from her while smiling as I pass which never seems to register with her. Further down the road outside the station is another woman handing out the same paper and you guessed it I take one from her as well.
I like a train.
One of the free magazines I pick up weekly is the NME (The New Musical Express) a magazine I subscribed to for more years than I care to admit to. I don’t want to think about all the money I must have spent on subscription fees over the years, and now it’s free. Of course it’s not the magazine it used to be, these days it’s really just adverts for gigs and new music with the odd interview scattered here and there. When I downsized a couple of years ago I found I had bags and boxes of issues going back years, I had to recycle most of them. I say most of them as I did squirrel away some special issues.
Some of the free papers and magazines over the last couple of weeks.
I am and have always been a hoarder I admit this, and have lived in places in the past which could have featured in one of those hording reality TV shows. These days I don’t collect stuff as I don’t have the room and I am trying to save money. I still however do have my storage full of sci-fi shit (collectables) which I have to go through as there is money amongst all that tatt.
Is this the strangest “Ice Age” merch…
As I said I am trying to save as much money as I can so that I can return to Mozziebeak. This week I applied to take part in medical experiments, I saw an ad and contacted them. Deep down I knew it was too good to be true and sure enough I didn’t qualify due to being on other medication. I quite liked the idea of earning money while on my back; having the flu for a couple of weeks really wouldn’t have mattered. The idea of being paid for lying on my back applied to me. There are other ways that a person can make money while on their back; trouble is I would have to pay the other person so that’s not really an option.
Shhhhhh.
I wanted to be back in Mozziebeak in August, but I suspect this date is going to be pushed back now. Which is sad, but if it means I can save more money that would allow me to stay away longer then it will be worth it.
In other news….
New shoes, look what they have done to me….
I have trodden on 2 different men’s feet on while on a tube, one man looked in a lot of pain. I’m either a lot heavier than I thought or he was already in pain. I hope it’s the latter. Bought some new shoes, and of course they have ripped the skin off my heel after only one wear, must remember plasters. I’m having a “sticky mouse” problem at work, I regularly have to unplug it and plug in again.
The Mid Life Crisis Conts……
This week I have been watching: ”The Graham Norton Show”, (Season 19, eps 7). “Have I Got News For You”, (Season 51, eps 5). “Horizon: Ice Station Antarctica”, (2015/16 eps 8). “The Golden Girls”, (Season 2, eps 9 to 21). “Screen Queens” , (Season 1, eps 10 & 11). “Pointless Celebrities” , (Season 9, eps 5). “People Just Do Nothing”, (Season 2, eps 1 to 5). “Cosmonaut: How Russia Won The Space Race”. “How To Build: A Nuclear Submarine”. “Storyville: Pussy Riot – A Punk Prayer”, (2013/14). “Murder She Wrote”, (Season 4, eps 6). “Flowers”, (Season 1, eps 1 & 2).
This week I have mainly been listening to: ”LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (30/04/16). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Mid-Week)”, (04/05/16). “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (05/05/16). “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (29/04/16 7 & 02 to 05/05/16). “The Queer Life”, (Eps 83). “Morrissey”, “Birdy”, “Bloc Party”, Stereophonics”, “Oasis”, “Blur”, “Bowie”, “Happy Mondays”, “Stone Roses”, “Beatles”, “Pulp”, “Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine”, “The Sultans of Ping FC”, “Radiohead”.
Reading: “The Hitchhickers Guide To the Galaxy: Mostly Harmless”, by Douglas Adams, “Knit One, Kill Two”, by Maggie Sefton, “Morrissey List of the Lost”, by Morrissey and “A Game of Thrones, A Song of Ice and Fire” book 2 “ A Clash of Kings” by George R.R. Martin.
Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in South and East London (The NEXT Chapter).
Week 97, Saturday 23rd April until 29th April 2016.
I don’t have a regular seat in the office; there are a couple of seats I like to use if I can. Last year I managed to stay on the same bank of desk most of the time. This year I have had to move around a little from one seat to another for various reasons such as computer problems or the phones not working. One morning the cleaners (yes I was shocked there are still cleaners in the Council) had been round and knocked all the leads out of the back of the computer, I didn’t realise for a few minutes as I continued to turn the machine on and off. I looked down and saw unattached leads on the floor; I managed to put them in the back of the box by looking at the next computer; however I still couldn’t log on. In fact no one has sat there since.
Some Essex bling spotted down the high street.
The office has a first come first served process, meaning that in reality I could sit anywhere. However people are very territorial regarding where they sit, which is understandable when as I have said before they spend more time at work then they do with their families. A number of people, who have been here for years have their regular spot, like a nest and I don’t think it would go down well if they rocked up one morning and they found my lardy arse in their place.
It wasn’t part of my brekkie, but I wanted to steal it.
I manage to get in early every day and for the last couple of weeks have bagged myself a prime seat by an isle facing the floor to ceiling windows overlooking Croydon. I love to look at the clouds and the sky while dreaming of Tofo. I hope I can keep this seat for a while as I have rooted myself and don’t want to move again.
Not the same person, I thought they would make good pics.
The old days of your own desk are long gone, that was a time when workers personalised there desk with pictures and other trinkets that meant something. I have had desks in the past that I made my own with pictures of relatives and sexy film stars and sci-fi droids, but that’s all changed now. These days you unpack everything you need in the morning and repack clearing the desk at the end of the day. At least this way you don’t have a chance to collect rubbish that just sits there getting in the way.
Are two heads better than one.
I have always said that I would to return to Tofo in August after a family wedding, but the reality of this timescale is starting to dawn on me. I think it’s going to be more Sept or possible even Oct before I see the Indian Ocean again. I am not managing to save as much as I had planned even after being back at work a few weeks. It’s proving very difficult this year.
Could this be the scariest merchandise ever.
Every day in the office is tough, but I have to just remember the memories of Whale Sharks, Mantas, Dolphins and friendly sun kissed faces in Mozziebeak. In the grand scheme of life even if I don’t return until October that’s not a huge amount of time to wait, I just need to be patient. As with everyone I just need to take every day as it comes and not really get stressed about the future.
In other news….. People digging for gold on the train, really getting a finger up a nostril. The terrible thing is once I have noticed I can’t stop looking. It’s the look of real concentration as they dig for that lost lotto ticket. A colleague arrived in the office and found the arms of their chair had been removed over the weekend. Spoke to a man who I helped him, he said “I owe you a drink”. When everyone is on the phones and you hear a colleague say they’re going to speak to another office, there is a wave of terror that goes through everyone, are they coming over to you and a scene of relief when they dont…
I liked the style of drawing on this sticker, that’s all.
The Mid Life Crisis Conts……
This week I have been watching: ”The Graham Norton Show”, (Season 19, eps 6). “Have I Got News For You”, (Season 47, eps 5 & 6, Season 51, eps 4). “Horizon: How To Find Love On-line”, (2015/16 eps 7). “The Golden Girls”, (Season 2, eps 1 to 8). “Girls”, (Season 3, eps 3 & 4, 6 to 12, Season 4, eps 1 to 4). “Doctor Who: Friend From The Future”, (Season 10 preview). “Orphan Black” , (Season 4, eps 1 & 2). “Screen Queens” , (Season 1, eps 7 to 9). “Game of Thrones” , (Season 6, eps 1). “Minions” , (2015).
This week I have mainly been listening to: ”LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (23 & 29/04/16). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Mid-Week)”, (2704/16). “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (28/04/16). “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (21 to 22, 25 to 28/04/16). “The Queer Life”, (Eps 82). “Morrissey”, “Birdy”, “Prince”, “Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds”, “Biffy Clyro”, “The Black Keys”, “Bombay Bicycle Club”, “Foo Fighters”, “Blur”, “Richard Ashcroft”.
Reading: “The Hitchhickers Guide To the Galaxy: Mostly Harmless”, by Douglas Adams, “Knit One, Kill Two”, by Maggie Sefton, “Morrissey List of the Lost”, by Morrissey and “A Game of Thrones, A Song of Ice and Fire” book 2 “ A Clash of Kings” by George R.R. Martin.
Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in South and East London (The NEXT Chapter).
Week 96, Saturday 16th April until 22nd April 2016.
If I was asked what “DO” I really want to do with my life, I would have no hesitation in saying an Astronaut. Ever since I was small I have wondered what it would be like to be weightless while looking back at the blue planet we call home. Of course I know in reality I will never break the atmosphere and look down at the earth with my own eyes, but I still dream of it regularly.
Spent time in the attic this week.
When NASA advertises every couple of years for a new class of Astronaut I always have a look even though I know that there are two stumbling blocks. One, I’m not American and Two I’m not clever. The European Space Agency (ESA) a few years were also looking for applications from people who wanted to apply to be astronauts. Yes I had a look, but enthusiasm is never going to be enough. It’s a dream I will never achieve, unless I become rich enough to be a space tourist.
MOZ chatting to a friend in the local park, while I making friends with trees.
A couple of years ago I became a “Scuba Diving Professional” (that’s what PADI calls a Dive Master). I have been diving for a number of years and in 2014 I stepped up and became a Dive Master. I love being in the water, it feels so natural to be almost weightless (It’s the only way I will ever feel like that). Sitting in an office in London is definitely not a natural way to lead life. Diving is something that even I feel I’m sort of a good at. The next step would be to become an instructor but that costs a couple of thousand pounds which I don’t have and will never find lying around behind the cushions of the sofa. The idea of being an instructor is another dream; it’s a more achievable than being an astronaut.
I will be buying this soon.
Something that is possibly a little more practical is a writer. I’ve been writing since the 80s, stored away I have note pad after note pad full of scribbles, short stories, half written novels and scripts none of which will ever be read by another living person. I am actually a published cartoonist. I had a couple of cartoons in a magazine in the early 90s and a regular cartoon strip in a small music magazine which ran for a couple of years. I have all the originals safely stored away with all my Sci-Fi shit. I remember going to HMV in Oxford Street to buy the magazine which would make my heart flutter slightly with a small amount of pride.
Not a stained glass window. Its condensation while mushrooms and veg cook.
But an actual writer is what I would really like to be. I have a children’s story that I wrote a couple of years ago based on my adventures in Mozziebeak. Last year I painted all 14 pictures to illustrate the story, all I need to do now is work out how to add the words to the paintings. There are always story ideas floating around my head bumping in to each other. Will the children’s story ever see the light of day, I hope so. I would love to get it published as a physical book, however I do know writers who have gone down the e-publishing route, this may be what I have to do in the end.
Helping to press flowers.
At the moment during my lunch break I am writing two different short film scripts. I would love to have them made, but I’ve said that before and guess what….. “NOTHING”. Maybe I could get others interested to help me, but as ever I am not going to promise anything, because I always disappointment myself.
Covert filming of a wedding car outside work.
In conclusion, my dream is that one day I might be a published writer, I realise I will never be able to give up the normal everyday job. Writing will probably only ever be considered a hobby, but I could be happy with that. My life would really be complete if the day job was a Diving instructor or an Astronaut……. In my dreams then…
In other news….
Juggling tablet, cup and bags all at the same time.
Getting annoyed when the adverts stick while watching TV programmes on my tablet travelling to work. Sometimes after waiting they might carry on, but most of the time I had to restart the programme which meant I would have to watch the adverts again and again. Another problem is trying to hide the screen when watching something with a sex scene. I don’t want fellow travellers thinking I’m strange, a pervert or worse. Had a fight with the photocopier at work trying to get a letter printed on letter headed paper, in the end I put a sheet in every tray, I didn’t let technology win.
Who does the best Bruce Forsyth impression.
The Mid Life Crisis Conts……
This week I have been watching: ”The Graham Norton Show”, (Season 19, eps 5). “Have I Got News For You”, (Season 51, eps 3). “Horizon: Should We Close Our Zoos?”, (2015/16 eps 6). “The Golden Girls”, (Season 1, eps 19 to 25). “Girls”, (Season 3, eps 3 & 5). “Cucumber”, (Eps 1 to 8, plus making shorts). “Cucumber: The Screwdriver”. “Banana”, (Eps 1 to 8, plus making shorts). “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine”, (Season 6, eps 14).
This week I have mainly been listening to: ”LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (16 & 22/04/16). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Mid-Week)”, (20/04/16). “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (21/04/16). “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (18 & 19 & 20/04/16). “Morrissey”, “Prince”, James”, Radiohead”, “Frans Ferdinand”, “Smashing Pumpkins”, “REM”, “Air”, The White Strips”.
Reading: “The Hitchhickers Guide To the Galaxy: Mostly Harmless”, by Douglas Adams, “Knit One, Kill Two”, by Maggie Sefton, “Morrissey List of the Lost”, by Morrissey and “A Game of Thrones, A Song of Ice and Fire” book 2 “ A Clash of Kings” by George R.R. Martin.
Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in South and East London (The NEXT Chapter).
Week 95, Saturday 9th April until 15th April 2016.
A lovely woman who works in my office has been away for a number of weeks so she didn’t know I had returned. It wasn’t just me who came back last week, another woman who worked in the office last year has also returned from Australia. Anyway the colleague who came back from holiday walked in and saw the both of us and said “hello” as if she had seen us a few weeks ago. This type of office has a lot of people that come and go and return (in my case, like a bad smell).
A cuppa in the morning.
Each time I have returned to Tofo Mozziebeak, nothing really changes the sea continues to roll in and out, the market continue to sell everything and anything. I bump in to people who I haven’t seen for months but they greet me like they had seen me yesterday, of course they ask how long has it’s been and how was my time away, but it’s as if I had never been away I’m like a boomerang. It’s such a lovely feeling walking around a small fishing village, a place I know well and realise so many people remember me, they might not know me well but they know my fat face.
Better weather is on the way this tree is a reminder each day.
I have a couple of friends in the UK that I haven’t actually seen in years but we are in contact on social media and e-mail, we chat and pick things up straight away. I suspect that when we do meet the same thing will happen there won’t be any need for awkward small talk.
Its not a quiet zone with all the telephone conversations and terrible ring tones sounding off.
Travelling to work I take a combination of 2 trains and 2 tubes, sounds a lot but when everything runs well there is very little standing around time between trains. I am starting to remember faces on the platforms and trains. As with many people I stand or sit in roughly the same place every day. You never know in a few weeks people might start smiling back at me, yes I like to smile at people, I probably look simple to them. I have to get used to the fact that people in London don’t smile at strangers unlike in Mozziebeak. But at the moment people just have a sneaky look around then quickly return there gaze to their small illuminated handheld device.
This bear lives in the office, a reminder to meet targets I think and what might happen if I don’t.
The office I am working in has pretty much all the same faces as last year. It got me thinking that they spend more time together than they do with their families, which is a worrying thought. The office is huge I know names of many of the faces staring blankly at computers, but I don’t have any dealings with them apart from passing them walking in and out twice a day. There are a group of colleagues that I do speak to who are so nice, I like to think we help each other get through the day. We work hard, but have a little laugh as well now and then. Even more reason to try and be happy in what you do and get on with the people you spend most of your day with.
One of the last days wearing a coat till next winter.
In other news…….
One of my best selfies I think.
An old man with a couple of teeth stopped me in the supermarket and asked if had a boyfriend, MOZ said I should have accepted he might have been a millionaire. I feel so tired on the train, in fact looking around everyone is tired in the morning, I really can imagine the entire carriage falling asleep and missing there stops. Monday morning couldn’t get in to computer had to call help desk… what a way to start the week. I can tell it’s getting warmer as I had to take off my coat even when it was raining; I’m always dressed for summer.
The Mid Life Crisis Conts……
Not impressed with this when going home in the rain.
This week I have been watching: “Travelman 24 Hours in….”,(Season 2, eps 8).”The Graham Norton Show”, (Season 19, eps 4). “Scream Queens” , (Season 1, eps 5 & 6). “Have I Got News For You”, (Season 51, eps 2). “Horizon: The End Of The Solar System”, (2015/16 eps 5). “The Golden Girls”, (Season 1, eps 13 to 18). “The Sky at Night”,(eps 759). “The Aliens” , (Season 1, eps 1 to 6). “Chewing Gum”, (Season 1, eps 1 to 6). ”The X Files”, (Season 10, eps 4 to 6). “Naked & Invisible (C4 shorts)”, (eps 1 to 6). “Supergirl”, (Season 1, eps 1 to 2).
This week I have mainly been listening to: ”LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (09 & 15/04/16). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Mid-Week)”, (11/04/16). “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (14/04/16) . “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (11, 12, 13, 14 & 15/04/16) . “Morrissey”, Artic Monkeys”, Mooney Suzuki”, Jake Bugg”, “Kasabian”, “David Bowie”.
Reading: “The Hitchhickers Guide To the Galaxy: Mostly Harmless”, by Douglas Adams, “Knit One, Kill Two”, by Maggie Sefton, “Morrissey List of the Lost”, by Morrissey and “A Game of Thrones, A Song of Ice and Fire” book 2 “ A Clash of Kings” by George R.R. Martin.
Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in South and East London (The NEXT Chapter).
Week 94, Saturday 2nd April until 8th April 2016.
My life in Tofo was so relaxed; everything happened slowly, in fact nothing took place quickly in Africa. My walk to work along the beach was leisurely just me and the crabs, buying things in the market happened at a snail’s pace. There were times I was not sure I really was buying whatever because the stall keeper was so chilled.
The only cup i’ll ever hold up.
Everything in Tofo took place in slow motion, even the dogs wonder around as if they were in a dream (unless they were chasing a 4×4 or the odd motorcycle). Even the Police moved about slowly. This of course might have been something to do with the temperature; which was why they were usually found under a tree until they wanted to stop you for an imaginary speeding ticket.
Yes I watch my small illuminated device while rushing to work.
The dive shop opened and closed at a set time, dives were scheduled at various times during the day. But as I say nothing happened quickly, everything was subjected to change there was a really relaxed atmosphere around the place. If a dive was late then it was late it couldn’t be helped.
Tiny little slug on Joan’s flowers, even slugs lead busy life’s in London.
This is completely different to life in London. Everything is fast, people rushing around all looking at their small illuminated devices. It doesn’t matter if there sitting, standing even walking they will be staring into their small screen not taking any notice of what was going on around them. Transport and travel is fast rushing to make a connection, running up and down escalators, while squeezing into packed train and standing all the time is never fun. Food and drink is expensive and fast, so fast that it barely touches the sides.
Its official part of the rat race, I have the badge to prove it.
Everyone in London lives life in the fast lane and because of this there very impatient, people apologising for something that haven’t done due to the fear that they might be abused, attached, knifed etc. Everything is expected to have been done yesterday people are stressed and panicking about how they’re going to finish one thing then start the next three while thinking about another 10 all at the same time.
Restarted at Croydon and had 593 new e-mails since September last year. I didn’t read them.
My job is fast paced; there is little time to think. You are expected to complete a certain number of documents and or telephone calls every hour, if you don’t meet the criteria then a managed will have a “little word” to find out how “YOU” can improve things. No one document or telephone call is the same, one might be very simple the next extremely complex resulting in stress trying to keep up with the expected rate. (I would like to point out I have NOT been spoken to as I do manage the expected levels of work, only just….)
Two rainbows in one week.
Life in the big city is not conducive to a healthy lifestyle, given a choice I would choose the pace of Tofo. Yes there are challenges, the nearest cash point is 4.5km, there are regular power cuts for hours even a whole day at a time. During the day regularly there is no water resulting in flushing the loo with water from the pool or from bottles that you have collected. And worse of all is no Starbucks. Yes I definitely prefer the relaxed life, but for the next few months I’m part of the rat race and have the ID badge to prove it. But at least I can see the light at the end of the tunnel unlike many others I know.…..
Spending time with Mushroom Boy and Girl.
In other news….. Someone farted in the office, I deffo smelt something strong and unpleasant, I didn’t mention it as I didn’t deal it. A man in the kitchen area had a whole conversation with me about something that happened in a lift the night before, I wasn’t there. I hope there is not another me, Croydon has enough problems with one of me. Rushed to work worried I wouldn’t get in as I didn’t have a proper pass, I really shouldn’t have worried as the guard just waved me in like a bad smell (I didn’t make the smell honest)…..
The Mid Life Crisis Conts……
This week I have been watching: “Travelman 24 Hours in….”, (Season 2, eps 5), ”The Graham Norton Show”, (Season 19, eps 2), “Raised By Wolves”, (Season eps 6), “Girls”, (Season 2, eps 2 to 10), “Scream Queens”, (Season 1, eps 4), “Have I Got News For You”, (Season 50, eps 1 & Season 51, eps 1), “Horizon: The Mystery Of Dark Energy”, (2015/16 eps 3), “Horizon: Oceans Of The Solar System”, (2015/16, eps 4), “The Golden Girls”, (Season 1, eps 7 to 12), “James May, The Reassember”, (eps 1 to 3), “Springwatch: Easter”, (March 2016).
This week I have mainly been listening to: ”LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (2 & 8/04/16) “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Mid-Week)”, (06/04/16), “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (4, 5, 6, 7 & 8/04/16), “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Whole show)”, (02/04/16), “Morrissey”, “Babylon Zoo”, “Alt-J”, “Anthony and the Johnsons”, “Radiohead”, “Razorlight”, “Barenaked Ladies”, “Supergrass”, “Jamie T”.
Reading: “The Hitchhickers Guide To the Galaxy: Mostly Harmless”, by Douglas Adams, “Knit One, Kill Two”, by Maggie Sefton, “Morrissey List of the Lost”, by Morrissey and “A Game of Thrones, A Song of Ice and Fire” book 2 “ A Clash of Kings” by George R.R. Martin.
Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in London (The NEXT Chapter).
Week 93, Saturday 26th March until Friday 1st April 2016.
This has been a week of mixed emotions, I also don’t have a huge amount to say (yes everyone cheers at reading that).
Happy Easter.
I start a job next Monday in Croydon (South London) in the same office I worked in for a few months last summer. And will be working with a number of people that I got to know last year who I am looking forward to seeing them again.
A happy geek.
I suspect that 99.9% of people don’t enjoy what they do for a living, the ones that do are probably famous actors or scuba diving instructors. The rest of us have to do a job we hate just to survive. When sitting in a large glass building on the 5th floor next week I have to remember why I am doing the job. I have to remember that I am saving money so that I can return to Tofo in August. It will not be easy being tied to a desk answering phones talking to angry people who really do not want to be talk to me, or listening to what I have to say.
MOZ enjoying a bucket of sugary gloop. I like the writing of my name by the barista.
Last year I found the job tough even though I have been doing it for over a decade. There were moments when I wanted to run away, scream hide in the loo and just escape from the large glass prison I was trapped in. The job is mainly phone based; I don’t even use the phone in real life I’m a texter. I know how bad I sound on the phone, I hate having to defend who and what I am. I get upset when the wrong pronoun is used, and even more upset when a person keeps using them after I have corrected them.
In Stratford Westfield.
This year I must try to not get stressed, I have to remember that the person I am speaking to will never know me. It doesn’t matter what they think or say, I have to take a deep breath and remember why I’m sitting in a badly air conditioned office. I will think of Tofo and all the lovely people and beach dogs that I know and think about seeing them when I return. In tough times I will fondle the Manta necklace that was made especially for me out of a piece of coconut shell. I just have to remember that I am prostituting myself so I can return to Africa.
I tried to make an effort for my friend.
I said earlier that this week has been full of mixed emotions. This week was the funeral of a dear friend of 26 years. My best friend’s mother passed away suddenly while I was in Mozzibeak, I was asked to come back which of course I did without having to think about it. All I wanted to do was to be with and help my best friend and her family. The last couple of weeks I have tried to help with preparations for the funeral something I never done before. I have only ever been to two funerals both for close family, never for a friend. There is so much that needs to be arranged many things I had not thought about. I hope that in my own small way I did make things a little easier.
Flowers for Joan.
On the day of the funeral the sun shined, there were tears and smiles. This was a day of celebration of a friend who had made an impression on many lives. I don’t believe in religion, I don’t believe in heaven in the traditional scene. But I like to think that there is something after we depart this planet, I don’t know what that’s for far clever people to discuss and work out. All I know is my friend is at peace, a friends that was loved by her family and friends and is greatly missed by all.
My friend Joan, missed by all.
I said I didn’t have a lot to write about this week….. I lied.
The Mid Life Crisis Conts……
This week I have been watching: “Travelman 24 Hours in….”, (Season 2, eps 1 to 4) , ”The Graham Norton Show”, (Season 19, eps 1) , “Raised By Wolves”, (Season 2, eps 1 & 5) , “The X Files”, (Season 10, eps 1 to 3) , “Girls”, (Season 1, eps 1 to 10 & Season 2, eps 1) , “Scream Queens”, (Season 1, eps 1 to 3) .
This week I have mainly been listening to: ”LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (26/03/16 & 01/04/16) “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Mid-Week)”, (30/03/16) ”, “LBC Mystery Hour”, (24/03/16) , “The Queer Life (KBBF Radio): eps 80”, (01/04/16) , “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO, (22 to 25 & 29 to 31/03/16)(Highlights) ”, “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Whole show)”, (28/03/16) , “Radio X: Best of British Top 100”, (28/03/16) , “Morrissey”, “David Bowie”, “The Killers”, “Manic Street Preachers”, “The Artic Monkeys”.
Reading: “The Hitchhickers Guide To the Galaxy: Mostly Harmless”, by Douglas Adams, “Knit One, Kill Two”, by Maggie Sefton, “Morrissey List of the Lost”, by Morrissey and “A Game of Thrones, A Song of Ice and Fire” book 2 “ A Clash of Kings” by George R.R. Martin.
Misfits Mid-Life Crisis........ 