Misfits Mid-Life Crisis……..

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East London & Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 131Saturday 17^th December until Friday 23^rdDecember 2016.

In other news….. 

My life changed forever in early 1978 when I saw Star Wars (which was released in U.K. 27 December 1977).  My parents eventually gave in to my constant badgering and took me to the local flea pit in Croydon to see the greatest film ever made.  This sealed my future as a Sci-fi fan, nay a lover of the genre.  I loved the film so much that I wrote to the director George Lucas because I have the same surname, and asked if he had a spare Stormtrooper costume as there were so many on screen.  I never got a reply and still don’t have a Stormtroopers costume.

  My first trip to see Rogue One.

I am now 48yrs old and my passion of spaceships, monsters, aliens has not diminished, actually it gets more passionate with every passing year.  I get so excited at seeing rows and rows of plastic tatt and page after page of books magazines and comics.  I can spend hours in my fave Sci-fi shop lusting after things I can’t afford, don’t need or haven’t got the room for, but in my mind I still need and want.

  I had my traditional front row seat, for my second viewing this week.

After seeing Star Wars for the first time I became obsessed with the big screen, I stated to go regularly on my own something i still do today.  I love to escape reality for a couple of hours and enjoy everything the whole experience. There can’t be many people who actually want to watch adverts and trailers and sits until the very end of the films credits, these days there is a reason to hang around until the very end as many films have small hidden scenes in the credits.  Yes I’m addicted to films, it’s my choice of drug I suppose things could be worse.

 A Star Wars tatt peeked out, during the week.

As a child I made cine films this eventually progressed video, in my storage I have hundreds of hours of memories which I hope one day I will re-watch and maybe use.  I read or watched anything regarding the film making process; this has meant I have a good knowledge of how images actually make it on to the big screen. I didn’t get to actually work in film until recently (I should mention I worked for Columbia Tri-Star films in there post room, but that’s for another time).  Life lead me on a route that has only until recently meant that I am now spending time on film sets, I might only be a supporting artist at the moment but I am able to watch the director and others at work I find everything on set so interesting.

  Out and about in Surrey.

In an ideal life I would like to be a writer and director. I hope that in a parallel universe there is a Dana who is doing just that and I bet she’s having a great life.  Until I manage to catch up with that other universe I’ll continue to get my fix of fantasy with a large bucket of salted popcorn and a fizzy drink.  I will always feel happy and safe when I visit the “galaxy far far away”. I never wanted to grow up, it was forced on me….

 Santa Beware………

Last year when Star Wars The Force Awakes opened I had a long journey to see it because I was in Mozambique, only just making it with an hour to spare.  Last week “Rogue One, a Star Wars story” was released, a film I have been waiting for excitedly since it was first announced.  This week I turned In to that geeky child again, I sat there wide eyed and as the images burned Into my retinas and mind.  I think this film meant more to me than recent previous Star Wars films because the story is set just before the 1977 film.  That was a time when life was easier.  I didn’t have any responsibilities, I played on my bike and skateboard and was happy to sit in a corner of a room making something from an empty box. Those were days when the six week summer holidays felt like they lasted months.

 I just liked the sign.

Visiting the cinema is still one of my biggest pleasures it doesn’t have to be a blockbuster I go and see anything but sci-fi is always my first choice.  There are still a number of Star Wars films to come, maybe I’ll get a chance to work on one of them, even if I’m covered in latex or a bulky costume it doesn’t matter it’s a film, it’s Star Wars.

 Writing this shiz, getting distracted by The Big Issue.

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  “Citizen Khan”, (Season 5, ep 6).  “Colour: Spectrum Of Science”, (ep 3).  “Digging For Britain”, (Season 5, ep 2).  “Extras”, (Season 1, ep 1).  “Have I Got News For You”, (Season 52, ep 10).  “Humans”, (Season 2, ep 7).  “Imagine, Autumn 2016, 3 : Serial Killers – The Women Who Write Crime Fiction”, (29/11/16).  “Inside The Factory: Christmas”, (20/12/16).  “Outnumbered”, (Season 1, ep 5 & 6).  “Rogue One: A Star Wars Story”, (2016).  “Six Wives With Lucy Worsley”, (ep 3).  “The Andrew Marr Show”, (18/12/16).  “The Apprentice”, (Season 12, ep 11 to 14).  “The Apprentice: Honest Subtitles”, (Season 2, ep 11 & 12).  “The Apprentice: Yours Fired”, (Season 11, ep 11 & “Your Hired” ep 12).  “The Graham Norton Show”, (Season 20, ep 11).  “The Last Leg”, (Season 9, ep 10).  “The Sky At Night”, (ep 770).  “Walt Disney”,(ep 2).            

This week I have mainly been listening to:  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (15/12, 16/12, 20/12, 21/12/16).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Live)”, (19/12, 20/12, 21/12/16).  ”LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (21/12/16).   “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (16/12, 17/12/16) “Scroobius Pip, Distraction Pieces”, (ep 130, Drunkcast MK6, Crimbo special pt 1: 20/12/16, pt 2: 23/12/16 ).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 7, 16/09) (ep 8, 23/09) (ep 9, 30/09/16) (ep 20, 16/12).  “Theres Podcast People”, (ep 7).  “Toby Hadoke’s Who’s Round”,(ep 117, ep 118, ep 119, ep 120, 04/15) (ep 121, ep 122, 05/15) (ep 123, ep 124, 125, ep 126, 06/15).  “Morrissey”, “MIA”,  “Suede”,  “Arcade Fire”, ”Terrible Crimbo Cover Version”, “The Pretenders”, “Ladyhawk”, “John & Yoko”, “The Pogues And Kirsty McCall”, “Leonard Nimoy”.   

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East London (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 130 Saturday 10^th December until Friday 16^th December 2016.

Last weekend I started my part time job in M&S doing nights.  For the first couple of hours there are customers and other staff milling around, but gradually the floor empties so that there are just 6 of us left.

   Green crates everywhere, this is just a small amount of the ones used over one night shift.

My job consists of restocking shelves from many large green crates wheeled from the cold store on to the shop floor.  To get out of the stock room i need to use a huge lift that can carry a maximum weight of 2500kg, I won’t lie I get a small thrill pressing the button to operate the lift full of crates.  Rule one of stock replenishment, make sure that you date rotate, bring the oldest to the front.  I’m on my feet all night, maybe I should get a pedometer to see how many steps I take during the 9 hours.

  Spent a couple of days in Brick Lane this week, i fell in love with Rainbow Bagels.

This job has given me a whole new appreciation for how products are presented on the shelves, and how frustrating it is when something has been moved from its proper place and just left on a totally different shelve.  Note to all customers, please put things back in the right place…… thank you.

  filming in a very Blade Runner type world.
Music helps me thorough the shift, as I stack frozen chickens I’m listening to classic indie music.  Friends know I’m not a huge Crimbum fan, but even I found myself humming and singing along to classic Crimbum tunes that the store were playing all through the night.  Maybe the festive sprit has started to affect me; is my ice heart finally melting.

 Really enjoyed my first dip in to Science Fiction.

When I ordered uniform I was advised that the sizing was different to retail, as a result I decided to go bigger because I wanted to be comfortable while reaching and stretching putting single cucumbers on shelfs.  The trousers do have a 70s bell bottom / flares look to them, luckily I only wear them for a few hours at a time and not many people see me in them. There not trousers to look sexy in, my arse definitely look’s huge in them.

 A Mosque in Brick Lane.

The job is only until early January, so I better start looking around again for the new year, if I have to sign on again I don’t want to do this for long..

 Writing this shiz.

And now for something completely different….

  Elizabeth and David on set.

Ever been mugged by religion.  Earlier this week I was in central London and saw the Hare Krishna’s who can regularly be seen walking up and down Oxford Street.  I thought I would get a photo, this was when I was spotted.  A very nice guy started to speak to me and handed me a book, which was not free he just wanted a donation.  I really didn’t have any money on me, but he helpfully informed me that behind us was a cashpoint.  When I shouted to him it was only issuing £20 he happily call back that he had change.  I bought the book, I made a donation for the book.  I really have to learn to hand things back and say “no”.

 Street art in Brick lane.

In other news….. 

 “Whats my motivation”….

Have you ever been squirted in the eye by fizzy ginger ale, I have.  During a night shift a plastic bottle I was holding sprang a leak, the spray was quite impressive.

I spoke to director and actor Dexter Fletcher on the Iain Lee show which was my highlight of the week.  Had an audition for a part of a fortune teller, didn’t get it I didn’t need a crystal ball to tell me that.

Took part in filming for a sci fi film, my first it was so much fun. Now if only I can get a part in a forthcoming Star Wars film I could die happy.

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  “60 Days In Jail”, (ep 6).  “Citizen Khan”, (Season 5, ep 5).  “Colour: Spectrum Of Science”, (ep 2).  “Comedy feeds (Season 5, ep 1): A brief History of Tim”.  “Digging For Britain”, (Season 5, ep 2).  “Hairspray LIVE”, (2016).  “Have I Got News For You”, (Season 52, ep 9).  “Horizon: The Secret Life Of Dogs”, (2009/10, ep 8). Uslims Like Us”, (ep 1 & 2).  “Paddington”, (2014).  “Sexy Murders”.  “Six Wives With Lucy Worsley”, (ep 2).  “The Apprentice: The Final Five”, (Season 12, ep 11).  “The Douglas Anderson Show”, (ep 2).  “The Graham Norton Show”, (Season 20, ep 10).  “The Last Leg”, (Season 9, ep 9).  “The Sky At Night”, (ep 770).  “Walt Disney”,(ep 1).            

This week I have mainly been listening to:  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (08/12, 14/12/16).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (08/12, 09/12, 13/12, 14/12/16).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Live)”, (12/12, 13/12, 14/12/16).  ”LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (15/12/16).   “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (09/12, 10/12/16) “Scroobius Pip, Distraction Pieces”, (ep 124, 14/12/16).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 4, 26/08)(ep 5, 02/09/16)(ep 6, 09/09/16).  “Theres Podcast People”, (ep 6, 10/12/16)Toby Hadoke’s Who’s Round”,(ep 110, ep 111, 02/15)(ep 112, ep 113 , 03/15)(ep 114, ep 115, ep 116,  04/14)(ep 197, 198, 12/16).  “Morrissey”, “Smiths”, “Artic Monkeys”,  “Arcade Fire”, ”The Devine Comedy”, “Suede”, “Ladyhawk”, “Frank and Nancy Sinatra”, “Various Classic Crimbum Songs”.   

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East & Central London (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 129 Saturday 3^rdDecember until Friday 9^thDecember 2016.

For the last few weeks I have been waiting for the induction of my new part time job working nights in a major shop/supermarket.  The job only runs until 7 Jan next year, this means that I have known about the job longer than it’s the actual duration.  Until last week I thought the induction was on Monday 5th that’s the date written on the paper I received after the interview, this was the date I was prepared for.  Then late week I received a telephone call regarding ordering my uniform this was when I found out that the induction was actually Tuesday 6th.  That would have been very embarrassing turning up 24 hours early for a night shift.

  A tiny mince pie, and a unicycle.

On the big day I was lead through a maze of corridors the public never see to a meeting room full of other newbies. Initially we were like lambs to the slaughter eyeing each other nervously, but this soon lead to excited conversation. We soon knew names and what department and which shifts people were working. One or two I will be working with and others I probably won’t meet again.  As with any induction there were videos to watch, pages of paper handed out some to read others to sign.  The instructor who I met at the interview made everything very easy and relaxed.

  Jesse with grandma.  Another hot beverage on a chilly day. 

The job is at the moment only for a month overnight a few days a week.  Luckily I will have minimal public exposer, there will be some contact but it will only be for an hour or two per shift.  Don’t get me wrong some of my best friends are members of the public, but I really don’t want to be working with them, the public I mean not my friends.  It’s possible that working in a shop is not the place to be if you don’t really want to be in contact with people.  That’s why nights suit me well.

 Observations of the week.

If I am honest I haven’t enjoy being around people for a long time, given a choice I have liked to keep myself to myself.  This is because over the years there has been a tiny portion of humans who made it clear what they thought of me.  They will never remember that we met in passing or what they said, but I still remember the classic lines of abuse thrown at me.  This has really held me back for the last 20 or so years. The result of this is that at the age of 48 I am finally letting go and not worrying about what strangers think. Fingers crossed the job goes well, it’s only for a limited period but its work and more importantly its money. If only we used leaves as currency because at this time of the year I’d be so rich.

 “MOZ loves the cake”.

And now for something completely different….

 Ice Skating by the Tower of London.

As mentioned last week, MOZ b’day was on 2nd December, however the celebrations continued all weekend.  On Saturday MOZ and i went Ice Skating next to the Tower of London; we managed to stay on our feet all the way through the session.  The highlight of the weekend was Ariel Yoga.  I had a lot of fun for 2 hours swinging and hanging upside down in a sling made of parachute material a couple of feet off the floor.  It was only afterwards that a number of muscles started to complain that they had been used after years of nothing.  I really enjoyed the event and am looking forward to doing it again in early January 2017.  Walking back to the tube, we both mentioned that our joints/limbs felt looser than before, it felt good.

 How much was that Mulled Cider……

In other news…..  

 Ariel Yoga, swinging fun.

Been bullied by a 4yr old. Collected my niece from school she wanted her friend to come home with her. What harm can it do I thought, mum and dad were away and running late. We arrive home, mum and dad were back, the last thing they need was an extra child.  My sister was correctly not impressed.  Must learn that I’m the adult in this relationship.

Oh I own Alec Guinness and Marc Bolan, maybe you need to have listened to the Iain Lee show.

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  “60 Days In Jail”, (ep 5).  “Angela Scanlan’s Close Encounters!”, (ep 3 & 4).  “Brainwashing Stacey”, (ep 1 & 2).  “Class”, (Season 1, ep 8).  “Close To The Enemy”, (ep 4).  “Colour: Spectrum Of Science, 1 Colours Of Earth”.  “Dangerous Earth”, (ep 4 to 6).  “Deep Water”, (ep 4).  “Digging For Britain”, (Season 5, ep 1).  “Have I Got News For You”, (Season 52, ep 8).  “Horizon, 2010/11: 6, Asteriods-The Good, The bad And The Ugly”.  “Humans”, (Season 2, ep 6).  “Planet Earth II”, (ep 5).  “Ray Harryhausen Special Effects Titan”.  “Rillington Place”, (ep 1 & 2).  “Six Wives With Lucy Worsley”, (ep 1).  “Titanic’s Tragic Twin:  The Britannic Disaster”.  “The Apprentice”, (Season 12, ep 10).  “The Apprentice: Honest Subtitles”, (Season 2, ep 10).  “The Apprentice: Your Fired”, (Season 11, ep 10).   “The Graham Norton Show”, (Season 20, ep 9).  “The Last Leg”, (Season 9, ep 8).  “The Turner Prize 2016: The Nominees”          

This week I have mainly been listening to:  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (05/12, 06/12/16).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (01/12, 02/12, 05/12, 06/12, 07/12/16).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Live)”, (02/12, 05/12, 06/12, 07/12/16).  ”LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (08/12/16).   “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (02/12, 03/12/16) “Scroobius Pip, Distraction Pieces”, (ep 91, Drunkcast 1/3 & 2/3  30/03/16, 3/3  31/03/16)(ep 101, Drunkcast MK3, pt 1  07/06/16, pt 2  08/06/16, pt 3  14/06/16, pt 4  15/06/16)(ep 127, 30/11/16)(ep 128, 07/12/16).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 1, 03/08/16)(ep 2, 12/08/16)(ep 3, 19/08/16)(ep 17, 25/11/16)(ep 18, 02/12/16).  “Toby Hadoke’s Who’s Round”,(ep 108, ep 109, ep 110, 02/15)(ep 196, 11/16).  “Morrissey”, “Spaceman 3”, “Spiritualised”, “T-Rex”, ”Underworld”, “Foo Fighters”, “Snow Patrol”, “Belly”, “Throwing Muses”, “Kenickie”.   

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East London & Central London, Laindon Essex (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 128 Saturday 26^thNovember until Friday 2^ndDecember 2016.

I was going to write about something completely different this week; it was all prepared and ready.  But after a trip into town I decided to keep that shiz for another week, as I want to get a little serious

Engage Rant Mode……  

  Central London is full on empty buildings.

Earlier this week I was in Central London and noticed that there appeared to be so many more homeless people on the streets.  I can’t give money to everyone especially at the moment because I don’t have any myself.  In a city like this there shouldn’t be anyone sleeping in a doorway in December.  The nights recently have been really cold and frosty which looks pretty when your inside a warm house or flat, but from a sleeping bag or under damp cardboard in a doorway I wouldn’t have thought it’s as nice.

 Filming inside a large marquee in a London park.

Many years ago I helped out the Salvation Army volunteering on a soup run in the west end of London on a Friday night.  You would see people waking about in posh suits and glittering dresses stepping in and out of expensive cars while ignoring a fellow human a few feet away who might be in need of help.  I always enjoyed chatting to people while handing out food and more importantly hot drinks.  There really was something satisfying about helping someone you may never meet again.

 Filming at Greenwich Uni, i had to do proper acting.

Volunteering eventually lead to me actually working in a couple of Homeless hostels.  When I think back to those days I mainly have fond memories.  I regularly think about residents I used to know and wonder what happened to them, did they move out and find a stable home, get clean from drink and drugs and most importantly did they find happiness.  I probably will never know and in some ways that might be the best thing.  One grubby memory that always makes me chuckle is when I worked a night shift and we found a huge turd in the middle of the floor of the lift in reception.  We never did find out who did the dirty protest.  Yes I mainly have happy memories of my time working in the hostels.

 Ended up in a couple of sex shops with a friend at the start of the week.

Before I forget I must mention something I saw last week.  There was a man sitting on the street asking for help, while he was doing this he was breaking of crumbs from the food he was eating and feeding a single pigeon, this really lifted my heart.  You may or may not know but I love a pigeon (that’s a story for another time) seeing this filled me with joy and hope for the human race, I had to stop and give him some money.

 This guy on the tube was either cold or just didnt want to be around his fellow passengers.

In a city like London in the 21st Century there really shouldn’t be people living on the streets. There are so many empty buildings, properties that have been empty for far too long that could become occupied quite easily without a lot of development.  A huge number of properties all around the city and beyond have been purchased as an investment for the future.  Many landlords or property owners don’t appear to be bothered about the way there buildings stands silent and empty for so long.  Surely an occupied property is better than an empty one, an occupied property has less chance of being broken in too and damaged.  Also the occupants might want to look after and take pride in their home.  I would have thought that this is a win win scenario for the owners, big business and more importantly the occupants.  I’m not overly political, I have my views and ideas like everyone about how and why things have gone tits up, but I’m a nobody so who’s going to listen to me.  In my mind I feel that there needs to be a peaceful revolution, but that’s never going to happen.  I’ll just dream on then.

 Writing this shiz.

As I mentioned I can’t help everyone, but I always acknowledge people I can’t just walk past ignoring a person pretending they don’t exist.  I hope that people sleeping on the streets get the help from charities and organisations both private and government that they need.  I am sad that I can’t do much more to help, I realise that a smile, a “hello” doesn’t really help a person sitting in a doorway but it’s all I have.  From speaking to people many are just pleased that they were not ignored.

  I’ll never be known as a fashion icon.

Disengage Rant Mode….

In other news…..  

   Drinking in the morning…….

Happy Bday on 2^nd December to my sisters Helen and SAZ, and best friend MOZ.  Spent a really lovely day in deepest Essex with Bday girl MOZ and a mutual friend Rachel.  Really enjoyed the morning bowling while drinking cocktails (just MOZ and me I should point out) my non-existent bowling skills got decidedly worse during the course of the session, I blame the drink.  After this we all eat our body weight in beautiful food.  I’m not a big fan of celebrating a bday, but I always like to make it special for a friend.  I really hope that MOZ and my sisters enjoyed there special day.

  Look at the size of those chips, Rac smelling the Baileys coffee.

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  “60 Days In Jail”, (ep 4).  “Citizen Khan”, (Season 5, ep 4).  “Class”, (Season 1, ep 7).  “Dangerous Earth: 3 Lighting”.  “Deep Water”, (ep 2 & 3).  “Have I Got A Bit More News For You”, (Season 52, ep 7).  “Horizon: 40 Years Of The Moon”.  “Humans”, (Season 2, ep 5).  “Men in Black”, (1997).  “Planet Earth II”, (ep 4).  “Seven Ages Of Starlight”.  “The Apprentice”, (Season 12, ep 9).  “The Apprentice: Honest Subtitles”, (Season 2, ep 9).  “The Apprentice:  Inside The Apprentice House”.  “The Apprentice: Your Fired”, (Season 11, ep 9).   “The Graham Norton Show”, (Season 20, ep 8).  “The Grand Tour”, (Season 1, ep 3).  “The Last Leg”, (Season 9, ep 7).          

This week I have mainly been listening to:  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (29/11 x 2 repeats).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (25/11, 28/11, 29/11, 30/11).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Live)”, (28/11, 01/12, 01/12/16).  ”LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (01/12/16).   “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (25/11, 26/11, 29/11, 30/11/16) “Scroobius Pip, Distraction Pieces”, (ep 107, Drunkcast MK4, pt1: 26/07, pt2 & pt3: 27/07)(Pip’s Bday mini Episode 02/08)(ep 108, pt1, pt2, 04/08)(ep 109, 09/08)(ep 110, 11/08)(ep 116, 21/09)(ep 117, 28/09)(ep 118, Drunkcast MK5, pt1, pt2, pt3, pt4, 05/10)(ep 119, 12/10).  “These People Podcast”, (ep 005).  “Toby Hadoke’s Who’s Round”,(ep 103 to ep 105, 01/15)(ep 106 to ep 107, 02/15).  “Morrissey”, “Scroobius Pip”, “The XX”, “Margo Guryan”, ”Shania Twain”, “Natalie Imbruglia”, “Elton John”, “The Cranberries”, “Sixpence None The Richer”.   

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East & Central London (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 127 Saturday 19^thNovember until Friday 25^thNovember 2016.

What is the most difficult job in the world? I’ve seen documentaries where people work in the sewers, fighting monster fatballs.  What about a road sweeper after the Notting Hill Carnival, the carnage there faced with when they realise that there bin is to small and they’re going to need more black bags.  Or there is a window cleaners dangling hundreds of metres above the city in a gondola while being blown about in a gale.  I also feel sorry for the “Yellow peril”, Traffic Wardens, what a horrible job that must be, forget the abuse daily what about the pollution that there breathing in while trying to earn a crust.

  Hide and seek didnt go well.  Jesse with Grandma.

These are all tough job, and ones I wouldn’t want to do.  However I think I have found the toughest job in the world.  I recently looked after my nephew and niece for a few days with my mum.  I should point out straight away, I adore the little ones and love being with them and would do anything for them.  But spending a number of days being fully responsible of these little balls of energy that hardly rest from the moment they wake up until they go to bed is tough.  My sister and her hubby had gone away for a well-deserved rest, so mum and I the B Team came off the reserve bench full of energy and ideas.

  Pied in the face at bathtime, my little friendly balls of energy.

I won’t lie I wished I had the bright idea beforehand to kidnap Justin Fletcher better known to millions of kids and parents as Mr Tumble ( or as Jesse calls him Mr Bumble).  If I had Justin to keep them entertained then everyone, children and adults wouldn’t have felt so tired and stressed when mummy and daddy returned.  My niece and nephew know how to twist me round every one of their tiny digits.  This is of course my fault, I have always found it difficult to say “No”, “don’t do that”, my sister would probably say that I let them get away with murder.  If there was an emergency such as touching a boiling pan or stepping in to the road I would be assertive and stand my ground.  Luckily nothing like that has happened so far, meaning that all the time is play time.

  Enjoying winter in London town.

I might be considered a fun Aunty by small people, but I would be a terrible parent because I wouldn’t know how and when to assert authority on or over them.  I would probably read every guide book on the subject looking for the small print very carefully with a large magnifying glass making sure that i had everything right.  They say you learn by mistakes, I make so many mistakes all the time every day I WOULD have been a terrible parent.  I like the fact that I get to play, look after them, but hand them back when there kicking and screaming because all they want is mum and dad the person they love and trust the most.  Which is how it should be if I’m honest.

  Spent a lovely day filming in Wimbledon.

It’s interesting watching my mum, because she knows the rules, she doesn’t let tiny tots get away with blue murder.  The problem is when Grandma says “No” they came running to Aunty who just looked at them with a smile and says “come on then” even though she might be knackered from hours of play already.  Its times like this I catch my mums eye and can see she’s not impressed.  No I wouldn’t be a great parent, I love the kids, I look forward to seeing them and spending as much time as possible with them but I can’t say “NO”, “sit down”, “do this”.  I really am not parent material.

  On set in Wimbledon Theatre.

I think being a parent is the toughest job in the world, I admire all of you and now realise why most of you look so tired and fed up when another adult talking to you. And how you can switch the smile on straight away when a child catches your gaze and wants you to be a horse for another hour.  Parents are like actors, maybe there the ultimate actor playing the hardest role always in character.  Parents should get more recognition; I couldn’t do what you do.  I think fighting a massive fatball in the sewers is a lot easier and less smelly than a days’ worth of nappy’s….

  On set of a Rom-com that will be released next year.

Ohhh Just remembered.  Mum and I were on the train earlier this week, were we were entertained by a very small boy who told us how he used to and his little brother currently loves to drink milk from mummy.  His Mum looked mortified, it was quite sweet really.  See the toughest job in the world.

 Trying to write this bullshine.

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  “60 Days In Jail”, (ep 2 & 3).  “American Hate Preachers”.  “Citizen Khan”, (Season 5, ep 3).  “Class”, (Season 1, ep 6).  “Close To The Enemy”, (ep 2 & 3).  “Crazyheads”, (Season 1, ep 6).  “Dangerous Earth: Volcano”.  “Deep Water”, (ep 1).  “Have I Got News For You”, (Season 52, ep 7).  “Humans”, (Season 2, ep 4).  “Impact! A Horizon Guide To Plane Crashes”.  “Lights, Camera, Fashion! 1: Breakfast At Tiffanys”.  “Nativity”, (2009).  “Planet Earth II”, (ep 3).  “Stacey On The Frontline: Girls, Guns And Isis”.  “Strictly Come Dancing”, (Season 14, ep 9).  “The Apprentice”, (Season 12, ep 8).  “The Apprentice: Honest Subtitles”, (Season 2, ep 8).  “The Apprentice: Your Fired”, (Season 11, ep 8).  “The Chronicles Of Narina: The Voyage Of The Dawn Trader”, (2010).  “The Douglas Anderson Show”, (ep 1).  “The Grand Tour”, (Season 1, ep 2).  “The Last Leg”, (Season 9, ep 6).  “Two Doors Down”, (Season 2, ep 1).        

This week I have mainly been listening to:  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (17/11/16).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (17/11, 18/11, 21/11, 22/11/16).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Live)”, (21/11, 23/11 (Bob Mills), 24/11 (Jake Yapp), 25/11).  ”LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (24/11/16).   “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (18/11, 19/11/16) “Scroobius Pip, Distraction Pieces”, (ep 120, 10/10/16)(ep 123, 23/11/16).  “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 8, 15/11/15)(ep 14, 24/03/16)(ep 22, 12/06/16)(ep 22B, 19/06/16).  “These People Podcast”, (ep 4, 23/11/16).  “Toby Hadoke’s Who’s Round”,(ep 99, ep 100, 12/14)(ep 101, ep 102, 01/15)(ep 195, 11/16).  “Morrissey”, “Smiths”, “Turin Breaks”, “Frankie Geos To Hollywood”, ”OK GO”, “The Flaming Lips”, “The Smashing Pumpkins”, “Beatles”, “Foo Fighters”.   

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East London, Surrey & Uxbridge Middlesex (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 126 Saturday 12^thNovember until Friday 18^thNovember 2016.

I don’t have a faith, I don’t believe in a god.  I do respect others who do and find comfort in what they believe.  When I think of Jesus (which is rare) I think of him as possibly the first superhero, let me explain.  I suspect that there was a nice man called Jesus who was kind to people, picked others out of the gutter maybe even gave food to the poor. Who was surrounded by a gang of mates who hung out with him?  I feel that over the year the stories of kindness have been embellished possibly by a bored monk who sat there sucking on the end of his quill while inscribing a new edition of the big book got bored and added little bits to stories that over the years have become what appear to be superpowers.

 Emmm, this was all i could get of the so called Super Moon.

I have dabbled with religion now and then, I am proud to say that I was asked to leave Sunday school as a child because I was a “bad influence” a badge of pride I wear to this day.  Sunday was Remembrance Day when we traditionally remember those that have fallen in conflicts all over the world.  This Remembrance Day I also thought of people I personally have lost over the years, I should point out I do think of them during the rest of the year.  this Sunday I attended a remembrance service which my best friend whose mother sadly passed away earlier this year and was mentioned during the service. I was surprised that as soon as I cross the threshold i didn’t burst in to flames and make a mess on the carpet getting In to everyone’s nice shoes.

 My trip to Pinewood was a lot of fun.

We sat at back trying not to be noticed, we stood up and sat down when required and mimed our way through all the hymns that felt like they went far too long. I was there to mainly support my fiend but also I thought of dad and David, loved ones who are no longer here but will never be forgotten people that made a huge impact on my life. I have many regrets but I am constantly told that regrets are pointless, so I sat there and thought of these special people.  The service was nice, but I didn’t feel the presence of a higher being.  I am so glad I went not only to support my friend but to remember special people I have lost.  As I said I do admire people who do have a faith and believe in the stories, I have been told many times that there is always hope.  Time will tell.

  Went for a job interview, these are the note for the role play i had to take part in.

And now for something completely different…. 

 Post interview treat.

I took my niece to school today, and I realised how things have changed.  It’s carnage out there, why I hear you say.  So many children race to and from school on their scooters and a number of these riders appear to be so high on E numbers that I feel that they should have left the wheels at home.  Walking there and back today it felt like a battlefield, I saw children crying with scraped knees, elbows and bumped heads nothing serious I should point but there were casualties.  If there is one thing a number of Brits enjoy it’s rubbernecking.  Until today I had only seen this on motorways, but today I saw it with class mates and parents stopping to have an ogle before carrying on with their journey home to have their evening meal.  The kids of today really are growing up fast, I just hope that they learn to control their wheels better by the time they are in control of a petrol engine.

  Its getting windy out there.

In other news…..  

 In Nero getting distracted while writing this shiz.

While in the reception of Pinewood Studios I saw a pass waiting for Richard Osman from Pointless, I’m easily pleased.  Had an interview for a job, I GOT it.  Sitting in Cafe Nero feeling very out of place as it was full of mothers drinking and chatting who were very noisy while I was trying to writing this shiz, so if it’s really bad it’s their fault. 

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  “60 Days In Jail”, (ep 1).  “Asian Provocateur”, (Season 2, ep 6).  “Children In Need”, (2016).  “Class”, (Season 1, ep 5).  “Click”, (05/11/16).  “Crazyheads”, (Season 1, ep 5).  “Dangerous Earth: Avalanches”.  “Destination Titan”.  “Doctor Strange”, (2016).  “Have I Got A Bit More News For You”, (Season 52, ep 6).  “Humans”, (Season 2, ep 3).  “Horizon: Mir Mortals”, (1997/8).  “Horizon: Is Your Brain Male or Female”, (2014/15, ep 7).  “Peter Pan”, (2003).  “Planet Earth II”, (ep 2).  “Secret Life Of Prisons: Cutting Edge”.  “Spaced”, (Season 1, ep 1 to 4).  “Star Trek, Original Series”, (Season 3, ep 22).  “Stuff: A Horizon Guide to Materials”, (12/04/12).  “Tangled”, (2010).  “The Apprentice”, (Season 12, ep 7).  “The Apprentice: Honest Subtitles”, (Season 2, ep 7).  “The Apprentice: Your Fired”, (Season 11, ep 7).  “The Grand Tour”, (Season 1, ep 1).  “The Jonathan Ross Show”, (Season 10, ep 11).  “The One Show”, (15/11/16).  “The Sky At Night”, (ep 769).  “Timeshift: Penny Blacks And Twopenny Blues, How Britain Got Stuck On Stamps”. (Season 16, ep 3).  “Toast of London”, (Season 1, ep 1).  “Undiscovered Peter Cook”.      

This week I have mainly been listening to:  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (10/11, 14/11, 15/11 x 2).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (10/11, 11/11, 14/11, 15/11, 16/11).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Live)”, (11/11, 15/11, 16/11, 17/11, 18/11).  ”LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (17/11/16).   “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (11/11, 12/11).  “Scroobius Pip, Distraction Pieces”, (ep 1, 13/10/14)(ep 124, 15/11/16)(ep 125, 16/11/16).  “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 13, 08/04/16)(ep 33, 13/11/16).  “Toby Hadoke’s Who’s Round”,(ep 92, ep 93, ep 94, ep 95, ep 96, ep 97, ep 98, 12/14)(ep 194, 11/16). “Morrissey”, “Green Day”, “The White Stripes”, “The Strokes”, ”New Order”, “Patrick McNee And Honor Blackman”, “Nancy Sinatra”, “Scissor Sister”, “The KLF”.   

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East London, Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 125 Saturday 5^thNovember until Friday 11^thNovember 2016.

The most time consuming part of this weekly ramble is the list of what I have watched and listened to. Now I don’t really expect anyone to actually to read that rubbish.  But for me it’s a future diary that might trigger emotions and thoughts about what life was like during that particular week, even more so than what I had actually written.

 Unusual modelling job seen in Dagenham.

TV is something that I love to watch and have always been interested about how it’s made.  When I was small I wanted to be a camera person (as well as an astronaut, which I still do) I made models of TV cameras out of Lego ® or an old or not so old to my mums dismay tuppleware container.  Give me a box of any kind and I was happy to be on my own in a corner. As a kid I thought that every TV show had its own studio, Blue Peter was in one, Doctor Who in another, Grandstand next door while Morecombe and Wise were round the corner.  I watched and read as much about TV production as I could, learning how the wonderful sets and environments were created, filmed then pulled down.

  Wrapped up on the tube.

I remember drawing pictures of studios with lots of lights at the top where another child would put blue for the sky. Down the bottom I would have cameras and the studio, I was obsessed.  I will always remember when I first saw Television Centre for real with my best friend George.  I hope that if I ever suffer from something terrible like Alzheimer I will never forget that amazing moment when the dream factory suddenly passed the windows of the Routemaster I was riding.

 Value of the Month, as seen at my nieces school.  I think the world needs a little Respect after the week we have had.

If there was a highlight to my life it was the few short years that I worked at BBC Television Centre where I spent more time watching programmes being made than actually doing the job I was paid to do. If life had gone the way I would have liked I would have carried on working in TV instead of getting made redundant.  I really tried hard to get back but I wasn’t in a happy place in my mind so it wasn’t to be. There were decisions I should have made when I was told I was being thrown on the scrap heap in 92, I should have taken the blue pill instead of the red pill. I could have stayed at auntie Beeb in a different job, but no I got on my high horse and left.  I really have no one to blame for the total frak up of what I call life.

  Random pics of the week.

In the early 90s I said was in such a bad place mentally, this was when my gender dysphoria finally come to the surface after being hidden since I was a small boy (you will never know how hard it was to write that three letter word).  I spent the next couple of years on the dole, living in Stockwell in a small with flat with what appeared to be the whole cockroach population of the area. I got involved with drama classes pretending to be other people and having far too much fun doing improvisation.  I have videos from that time in my storage; I wonder what happened the people who I spent so much time with for a couple of years, I wonder if they made something of their lives.

 This is what got me through US Election night, and its not cola. 

It wasn’t a happy time for me and I made close friends life a misery, it was the start of the journey that would result in me finally being me correcting mistakes made by Mother Nature.  However one thing I couldn’t fix was that I wanted to be creative, these feelings just added to my unhappiness. Over the years I have dabbled here and there with creative things none have earned me any money or has given me something I can call a career. But more importantly I can smile that I have done something different.

 Trying to write this shiz, but getting distracted by Channel 4 drama and a mince pie.

Yes I still want to work in TV and get very excited when I see a TV camera.  In a parallel universe I like to think there is a Dana who is going through a mid-life crisis but is writing, directing maybe even acting and doing the odd bit of stand up.  I hope she is happy and living a fulfilling life that she should have always had and not needed to fight so much to get there.

 Back from a run, my first in a couple of week, and it shows.

In other news…..  

 Cant think of anything for this pic….

I deleted my online lonely hearts this week, I hardly ever went to them, they just made me feel even more lonely and isolated. Note to self, you’ve tried online dating twice DONT do it again. I except I am supposed to be alone. 

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  “Artic Live”, (ep 1 to 3).  “Asian Provocateur”, (Season 2, ep 1 to 5).  “Breaking Into Prison”.  “Class”, (Season 1, ep 4).  “Citizen Khan”, (Season 5, ep 1 & 2).  “Close To The Enemy”, (Season 1, ep 1).  “Crazyheads”, (Season 1, ep 4).  “Doctor Who: Power Of The Daleks (animation)”, (prod code EE, original TX 05/11/66 until 10/12/66, ep 1 to 6).  “Have I Got News For You”, (Season 52 ep 6).  “Humans”, (Season 2, ep 2).  “My Jihad”, (Season 1, ep 1 to 4).  “Planet Earth II”, (ep 1).  “Rich Halls, Presidential Grunge Match”.  “Star Trek, Original Series”, (Season 3, ep 16).  “The Apprentice”, (Season 12, ep 6).  “The Apprentice: Honest Subtitles”, (Season 2, ep 6).  “The Apprentice: Your Fired”, (Season 11, ep 6).   “The Graham Norton Show”, (Season 20, ep 7).  “The Last Leg (Season 9, ep 5).  “The Last Leg: US Election Special”.  “The Sky At Night”, (27/09/60) (03/08/69) (11/12/95) (07/02/05).  “US Election Night Live (BBC)”.   

This week I have mainly been listening to:  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (07/11/16).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (03/11, 04/11, 07/11, 09/11/16).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Live)”, (07/11, 09/11, 10/11/16).  ”LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (10/11/16).   “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (05/11).  “Toby Hadoke’s Who’s Round”,(ep 81 to 88, 11/14)(ep 89 to 91, 12/14)(ep 193, 10/16). “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 2, 23/09/15)(ep 6, 21/10/15)(ep 16, 13/04/16)(ep 19, 06/05/16)(ep 21, 03/06/16).  “Scroobius Pip, Distraction Pieces”, (ep 121, 06/10/16)(ep 122, 02/11/16)(ep 123, 09/11/16).  “Morrissey”, “Smiths”, “Christine And The Queens”, “Nick Kershaw”, “M.I.A”, ”Kate Bush”, ”The Vaccines”, “Blur”, “Leonard Cohen”.   

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East & North London, Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 124 Saturday 29^thOctober until Friday 4^thNovember 2016.

If you have been reading this rubbish recently then you will know that I have been spreading my creative wings by being a supporting artist.  Acting is something that I have wanted to do, but never thought that someone “LIKE ME” could do.  Due to recent circumstances I decided that as I have some spare time why not have a go, what have I got to lose.  Over the last month I have been involved in a number of short films, feature films, and TV shows just as background all for free.  None of what I have done could really be called “acting”, that’s the next step.

   Spooky Halloween moments in Surrey….

This week I went to an audition for a 2^nd year Uni student film.  I arrived at the Uni feeling very out of place surrounded by lots of young clever people walking around with their lap tops and tablets, in my day in education we had scruffy note book with wallpaper as a cover.  The Producer and the Director who were both very young introduced me to a young actress who was auditioning for the role of the daughter, that’s right I was going to play a mother.  We were filmed as we improvised a couple of scenes, which I really enjoyed.  For a couple of years in the 90s I did a number of improvisation courses, I suppose i just like being stupid it’s something I find easy.  It turns out I wasn’t good enough I didn’t get the part, oh well maybe another time.

  Lego shield’s, its what they do at Uni.

Another thing that I have wanted to do for years is have a go at stand-up comedy.  I’m not a joke person; I enjoy comedy where the comedian takes the P out of themselves.  This week I did my first gig, standing up in front of about 90 people in North London telling stories about myself and people laughed.  The audience was extremely friendly, everyone on or off stage were listeners to “The Iain Lee (who I met, what a lovely man) TalkRADIO Show” this meant that there was a tsunami of love as everyone wanted all the acts to succeed.  Of course if I was to try doing it again I would definitely have to work harder to try make the audience laugh.  Sunday night I traveled home on the tube feeling on top of the world.  Anyone looking at me would have wondered what I was on, I’m surprised someone didn’t approach me for a little of what I had had.  I’m up for the challenge of working harder to make people laugh; I’m looking to have a go again in a couple of weeks.  I know that this is like throwing my self naked (what a horrible thought) in to the arena hoping that the Lions who haven’t been feed for a week don’t pull me apart limb by limb straight away.

   Seen on the tube this week.  Enjoying a Vampire Frappe…

I really have always been a creative person, in an ideal world that’s how I would make a living.  But I know this is not an idea world….

And Now For Something Completely Different…

   At Iain & Kath’s Performance Ring.

The clocks went back this week, that extra hour of sleep was amazing I always make the most of a free hour in bed.  The result of this is that it gets darker earlier in the afternoon, I sit writing this in a Starbucks at about 4.30pm and the sky is getting darker.  Street lights are on and car lights are reflecting everything around, which makes the environment look strangely pretty.  In the past I preferred this time of year because I felt that I could hide in the darkness away from the stares of others that might want to judge me.  But these days I’m a much more confident person who is trying to mix with people, and trying to make something of this existence.  Not looking forward to when the clocks go forward as I’ll lose that free hour of sleep, I might bolt the door and try to keep hold of it until they drag that hour away from me.  Any one else want a revolution.

 Busy composing this “Bull Shine”.

In other news…..  

   The wonderful Christine And The Queens live at Brixton.

Saw a woman spitting regularly in to a plastic container on tube.  Missed my stop late one night when reading a really old Doctor Who novel I hadn’t read in over 20 years, that’s how engrossed I had become.  I need a sign around my neck asking people to throw me off at blah, blah, blah station.  I rang a national radio station 3 times this week, it’s really quite additive.

  After the gig, very happy.

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  “Asian Provocateur”, (Season 1, ep 1 to 6).  “Class”, (Season 1, ep 3).  “Crazyheads”, (Season 1, ep 3).  “Damned”, (Season 1, ep 6).  “Film Four: Fright Bites”, (Short Cuts, Night Cap, Wake, Squeal, Old gal, Tickle Monster).  “Ghostbusters”, (2016).  “Have I Got News For You”, (Season 52 ep 5).  “How To Build A Human”.   “Humans”, (Season 2, ep 1).  “Humans: Synth For A Day”.  “Nigel Forage Gets His Life back”.  “Televisions Opening Night: How The Box was Born”.  “The Apprentice”, (Season 12, ep 5).  “The Apprentice: Honest Subtitles”.  “The Apprentice: Your Fired”, (Season 11, ep 5).  “The Brain A Secret History: 3 Broken Brains”.  “The Golden Girls”, (Season 2, ep 25 & 26)(Season 3, ep 1 to 5).  “The Graham Norton Show”, (Season 20, ep 6).  “The Great British Bake Off: The Class Of 2015”, (Season 7, ep 11).  “The Last Leg (Season 9, ep 4).       

Seen Live on Stage:  “Christine And The Queen”, (02 Brixton Academy).        

This week I have mainly been listening to:  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (27/10, 28/10, 29/10, 01/11/16).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (27/10, 31/10, 01/11, 02/11, 03/11/16).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Live)”, (31/10, 01/11, 02/11, 04/11/16).  ”LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (29/10, 04/11/16).  “Toby Hadoke’s Who’s Round”,(ep 70, 09/14)(ep 71, 10/14)(ep 72 to 80, 11/14(ep 191 & 192, 10/16). “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 5, 14/10/15)(ep 17, 21/04/16)(ep 18, 28/04/16)(ep 23, 23/06/16).  “Morrissey”, “Smiths”, “Imani Copola”, “Christine And The Queens”, “Pulp”, “The Manic Street Preachers”, “Muse”, “The Strokes”, “Placebo”, “Temper Trap”.  

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in Southwold, Suffolk (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 123 Saturday 22^ndOctober until Friday 28^thOctober 2016.

The British love a holiday, most people I know look forward to their couple of weeks away.  It’s usually booked so many months in advance that the daily routine, grind becomes more bearable.

  My type of town.

The last few years during the October half term (this week) my mum, sisters Helen and SAZ,  her hubby Tim and kids decamp to Southwold in Suffolk.  I haven’t been every year because I was away in Mozambique, but this year I in attendance.  We rent a different house each year, Southwold is a small place so all the previous houses are within a few streets each one bringing back different emotions and memories.

   Interesting  use for an old phone box, a fave shop in town.

Since I returned to the UK in March I have been looking forward to this week.  It’s a chance to get together and have a lot of family time.  I am hoping in the future my brother and his family will join us, this will mean that we really will take over this beautiful small Suffolk town.  Living in such close quarters could drive each other a little loopy, but so far I’m not aware that this has happened everyone knows when to give each other space.  For me it’s a really lovely chance to be a proper aunty to my nephew and niece.

  Fog making the water tower look even more alien.  And sun on the beach.

Holidaying in the U.K can mean challenging weather, it’s very true that we as a nation we love to complain about the weather.  This week we have had a little of everything rain, sun, high and low temperatures and beautiful fog rolling in from the sea.  It would be far to boring if the sun shined all day long, we love a challenge.  You can tell a Brit on holiday, they will enjoy that ice cream in the rain or sand castle in the wind, a “little weather” is never going to ruin the holiday that a person has been looking forward to week after week.  Even illness doesn’t stop typical holiday activity; I haven’t been well this week my constant coughing has probability kept the whole of Southwold up at night. But I made sure that I still enjoyed my time away to the fullest.

One thing I like to do here is run; I have a specific route slightly off the beaten track through fields with cows who watch you pass by while chewing the cud.  The halfway point is a boat yard by the river Blyth. I feel there is something special about seeing a boat  in an alien position, yes on one occasion I did take a camera.  It’s a very friendly place, other runners and dog walkers say “morning” or “hello” Southwold has a magical feeling, I always feel it should be in a Harry Potter story.

  A normal family honest.

The working lighthouse and pier which were used as backgrounds for the BBC TV children’s programme “Grandpa in my pocket”.  My nephew and niece who watch the programme, are always wondering if the grand dad is around Southwold at the same time. My nephew loved to point and call out that the lighthouse was “ober dare”.  I’m a big kid who also get a thrill out of seeing a 31 metre structure at the end of the road with a light on the top.

  Tim first buzzed by at bat, then children.

I really don’t know what the future holds for me at the moment everything is a little in the air. I just know that there will be other family weeks in this lovely little town in years to come.  It’s also a place I really could call home a place I could settle down in.  There is one thing I still haven’t done, visit Sizewell the local nuclear processing plant which on a clear day you can see a little further along the coast.  I really enjoy this October half term, I’m already counting the days and weeks off for next year.

   Looking down inside the lighthouse.  From the top a view of Sizewell in the distance.

In other news…..  

 Luke rowing us across the river Blyth.

Quote of the week on a day that wasn’t hot or sunny, “I’m going braless”.  Highlight was Jesse speaking to Father Crimbo on the phone twice, while Anaia sent a letter to Santa.  Being buzzed by a bat when out with grandma and Tim plus the kids at night as we were showing them the lighthouse all lit up.  Thought I saw Jezzer Clarkson walking a dog I had to do a double take.  When crossing the river Blyth by rowing boat a journey of 20 to 30 metres to Walberswick, I surprised the man rowing because I remembered his name from a couple of years ago, I think Luke was impressed.  It was great having cuz Catherine, Thomas and Amelia and Tim’s mate Bingo and Flo the Greyhound round for our last night.

  Mum and Flo, enjoying our last night.

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  “8 Out Of Ten Cats Does Countdown”, (Season 9, ep 10).  “Autumnwatch”, (2017, ep 1 to 4).  “Class”, (Season 1, ep 1 & 2).  “Crazyheads”, (Season 1, ep 1).  “Damned”, (Season 1, ep 5).  “Josh”, (Season 2, ep 6).  “Have I Got News For You”, (Season 52 ep 4).  “Have I Got A Bit More News For You”, (Season 52, ep 1).  “Horizon: The Wildest Weather In The Universe”, (2016/17, ep 1).  Horrid Henry”, (2011).  “The Apprentice”, (Season 12, ep 4).  “The Apprentice, Honest Subtitles”.  “The Apprentice, Your Fired”, (Season 11, ep 4).  “The Brain: A Secret History, 2 Emotions”.  “The Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe”, (2005).  “The Graham Norton Show”, (Season 20, ep 5).  “The Great British Bake Off”, (Season 7, ep 10).  “The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice”, (Season 3, ep 10).  “The Last Leg: SU2C”, (Season 9, ep 4).  “The Tale of Mr Tumble”.  “Zapped”, (Season 1, ep 3).             

This week I have mainly been listening to:  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (20/10/16).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (24/10, 25/10, 26/10/16).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Live)”, (21/10, 24/10, 25/10, 26/10/16).  ”LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (22/10, 28/10/16).  “Toby Hadoke’s Who’s Round”,(ep 65, 07/14)(ep 66, ep 67, ep 68, 08/14)(ep 190, 09/16). “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 3, 30/09/15(ep 4, 07/10/15)(ep 32, 25/10/16).  “The Barry From Watford Podcast”, (20/09, 22/09, 27/09/11)(04/10, 05/10, 12/10/11).  “Morrissey”, “Smiths”, “MGMT”, “Empire of The Sun”, “The Pretenders”, “The Editors”, Rihanna”, The Velvet Underground & Nico”, “Sigur Ros”, “Debbie Gibson”, “Journey”, “Wham”.  

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East London & Northamptonshire & Buckinghamshire (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 122 Saturday 15^thOctober until Friday 21^st October 2016.

Superheroes are all the rage these days, the biggest films are superhero related, there are a number of TV shows that feature people with powers.  I have been watched Superman and Spider-Man et al from an early age, reading comics and books and of course playing with toys.  Who hasn’t dressed up with their pants on the outside of their clothes and a sheet round the shoulders for a cape, I know I have.

  My friend is not invisible, or is she……

But are there really superheroes out there.  I regularly wish I could fly not just to see the world from above but to escape the constant train strikes that plague me every time I want to travel south of the Thames.  With 7 billion of us on space ship Earth I really like to think that there might be someone who can walk through walls, levitate or has X-ray vision and has just not been discovered.

    The Hollywood of the UK, Pinewood Film Studios.

However I might have discovered a real superhero, my best friend MOZ is a pretty ordinary woman, who seems to have the power of invisibility.  That’s right MOZ appears to be invisible to others when she’s out and about in the so called “real world”.  My friend would be considered a petite person who doesn’t take up very much space.  However time and time again people try to walk through her.  Now I’m not a scientist (I love science though) but even I know that two people cannot physically occupy the space at the same time.

  Pulled through a drag queen backwards, i’ll say it before you do.

However in reality MOZ is a victim of a lack of pavement etiquette.  Other people walking around don’t seem to look where there going anymore; they are busy staring at their small illuminated devices resulting in them bumping in to people like MOZ.  Most of the time these people are playing games, or chatting with a friend they saw 20 minutes earlier.  Another problem is groups who are walking then for no apparent reason just stop on the pavement resulting in a nice person like my friend walking in to them.  I really think people should have little indicators flashing lights, to warn others about what they are intending.  There is of course a possibility that I am just getting older and grumpier and getting more and more annoyed with other people who appear to not consider their fellow humans when going about their daily activity.  I am certain that I look behind me, just in case there is someone behind me if I suddenly decide to stop in my tracks.  Yes of course there have been occasions when I have had to walk around looking at my phone, not playing silly games but looking at a map.  But I do keep an eye on who is coming in the opposite direction.  Maybe this is how I could make money, teaching people how to walk without bumping in to each other.

  In the back of the car, with friends.

Personally I prefer the idea that MOZ has a superpower, that she has the ability of invisibility.  I might have to investigate this further, if MOZ has a power then we need to capitalise on it. Just think of all the places that I could send her unseen, the secrets that we could uncover.  Yes a superpower is more interesting than people just being rude and uncaring for others.

  Southwold.  The Lucas and Clouting clans have arrived, be afraid be very afraid.

And now for something completely different(ish). 

 In there Suffolk pad.

For as long as I can remember I have been a warm person.  I never normally feel cold, usually spending the year walking around in short sleeves.  When the weather starts to chill I’ll carry a jumper or a light coat, even if I hardly wear them due to boiling when I put them on.  I recently needed to buy some cheap clothes with sleeves, I remember saying to MOZ that I won’t be able to wear them often.  But something has changed, I am feeling the cold.  This is the first winter in 3 years that I have spent in the UK, maybe the Mozambique temperature has thinned my blood.  Maybe I am evolving, could this be my superpower….. Maybe not I’ll keep looking.

In other news….. 

  Maybe too many drinks with SAZ and Cath.

It was mums birthday this week.  Due to enjoying the night before with cuz Catherine and SAZ a little too much I spent mums big day in bed being sick.  I also only just missed throwing up all over my little cuz Thomas by inches.

I spent a day at Pinewood film studios, being a model for make-up students.  Unfortunately due to yet another train strike I was too late to have prosthetics applied so I ended up looking like I’d been pulled through a drag queen backwards.

 All for one, and one for all.

Next week’s blog will be a HOLIDAY SPECIAL from SOUTHWOLD. 

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  “Click: Cybathlon”.  “Damned”, (Season 1, ep 4).  “Greatest Tomb On Earth: Ancient Secrets Of China”.  “Josh”, (Season 2, ep 5).  “Have I Got News For You”, (Season 52 ep 3).  “Horizon: Is Seeing Believing”, (2010/11, ep 4).  “Horizon: The Lost Tribes of Humanity”, (2016/17, ep 16).  “Red Dwarf”, (Season XI, ep 6).  “The Apprentice”, (Season 12, ep 2).  “The Apprentice, Honest Subtitles”.  “The Apprentice, Your Fired”, (Season 11, ep 2).  “The Brain: A Secret History, 1 Mind Control”.  “The Crystal Maze: SU2C Celebrity Special”.  “The Graham Norton Show”, (Season 20, ep 4).  “The Great British Bake Off”, (Season 7, ep 9).  “The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice”, (Season 3, ep 9).  “The Last Leg: SU2C special”, (Season 9, ep 3).  “Travelman In 48hrs In… (Season 3, ep 4).  “Zapped”, (Season 1, ep 1 & 2).             

This week I have mainly been listening to:  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (17/10/16).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (13/10, 14/10, 17/10, 18/10, 19/10/16).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Live)”, (14/10, 15/10/16).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (19/10/16).  ”LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (14/10, 15/10, 16/10, 17/10, 18/10, 19/10, 20/10, 21/10/16).  “Toby Hadoke’s Who’s Round”,(ep 59, 04/14)(ep 60, ep 61, ep 62, 06/14)(ep 63,ep 64,  07/14)(ep 189, 09/16). “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 1, 15/09/15)(ep 31, 12/10/16).  “Morrissey”, “The Cure”, “Alice Cooper”, “M.I.A”, “The Vaccines”, “The Libertines”.