Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East & Central London (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 127 Saturday 19^thNovember until Friday 25^thNovember 2016.

What is the most difficult job in the world? I’ve seen documentaries where people work in the sewers, fighting monster fatballs.  What about a road sweeper after the Notting Hill Carnival, the carnage there faced with when they realise that there bin is to small and they’re going to need more black bags.  Or there is a window cleaners dangling hundreds of metres above the city in a gondola while being blown about in a gale.  I also feel sorry for the “Yellow peril”, Traffic Wardens, what a horrible job that must be, forget the abuse daily what about the pollution that there breathing in while trying to earn a crust.

  Hide and seek didnt go well.  Jesse with Grandma.

These are all tough job, and ones I wouldn’t want to do.  However I think I have found the toughest job in the world.  I recently looked after my nephew and niece for a few days with my mum.  I should point out straight away, I adore the little ones and love being with them and would do anything for them.  But spending a number of days being fully responsible of these little balls of energy that hardly rest from the moment they wake up until they go to bed is tough.  My sister and her hubby had gone away for a well-deserved rest, so mum and I the B Team came off the reserve bench full of energy and ideas.

  Pied in the face at bathtime, my little friendly balls of energy.

I won’t lie I wished I had the bright idea beforehand to kidnap Justin Fletcher better known to millions of kids and parents as Mr Tumble ( or as Jesse calls him Mr Bumble).  If I had Justin to keep them entertained then everyone, children and adults wouldn’t have felt so tired and stressed when mummy and daddy returned.  My niece and nephew know how to twist me round every one of their tiny digits.  This is of course my fault, I have always found it difficult to say “No”, “don’t do that”, my sister would probably say that I let them get away with murder.  If there was an emergency such as touching a boiling pan or stepping in to the road I would be assertive and stand my ground.  Luckily nothing like that has happened so far, meaning that all the time is play time.

  Enjoying winter in London town.

I might be considered a fun Aunty by small people, but I would be a terrible parent because I wouldn’t know how and when to assert authority on or over them.  I would probably read every guide book on the subject looking for the small print very carefully with a large magnifying glass making sure that i had everything right.  They say you learn by mistakes, I make so many mistakes all the time every day I WOULD have been a terrible parent.  I like the fact that I get to play, look after them, but hand them back when there kicking and screaming because all they want is mum and dad the person they love and trust the most.  Which is how it should be if I’m honest.

  Spent a lovely day filming in Wimbledon.

It’s interesting watching my mum, because she knows the rules, she doesn’t let tiny tots get away with blue murder.  The problem is when Grandma says “No” they came running to Aunty who just looked at them with a smile and says “come on then” even though she might be knackered from hours of play already.  Its times like this I catch my mums eye and can see she’s not impressed.  No I wouldn’t be a great parent, I love the kids, I look forward to seeing them and spending as much time as possible with them but I can’t say “NO”, “sit down”, “do this”.  I really am not parent material.

  On set in Wimbledon Theatre.

I think being a parent is the toughest job in the world, I admire all of you and now realise why most of you look so tired and fed up when another adult talking to you. And how you can switch the smile on straight away when a child catches your gaze and wants you to be a horse for another hour.  Parents are like actors, maybe there the ultimate actor playing the hardest role always in character.  Parents should get more recognition; I couldn’t do what you do.  I think fighting a massive fatball in the sewers is a lot easier and less smelly than a days’ worth of nappy’s….

  On set of a Rom-com that will be released next year.

Ohhh Just remembered.  Mum and I were on the train earlier this week, were we were entertained by a very small boy who told us how he used to and his little brother currently loves to drink milk from mummy.  His Mum looked mortified, it was quite sweet really.  See the toughest job in the world.

 Trying to write this bullshine.

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  “60 Days In Jail”, (ep 2 & 3).  “American Hate Preachers”.  “Citizen Khan”, (Season 5, ep 3).  “Class”, (Season 1, ep 6).  “Close To The Enemy”, (ep 2 & 3).  “Crazyheads”, (Season 1, ep 6).  “Dangerous Earth: Volcano”.  “Deep Water”, (ep 1).  “Have I Got News For You”, (Season 52, ep 7).  “Humans”, (Season 2, ep 4).  “Impact! A Horizon Guide To Plane Crashes”.  “Lights, Camera, Fashion! 1: Breakfast At Tiffanys”.  “Nativity”, (2009).  “Planet Earth II”, (ep 3).  “Stacey On The Frontline: Girls, Guns And Isis”.  “Strictly Come Dancing”, (Season 14, ep 9).  “The Apprentice”, (Season 12, ep 8).  “The Apprentice: Honest Subtitles”, (Season 2, ep 8).  “The Apprentice: Your Fired”, (Season 11, ep 8).  “The Chronicles Of Narina: The Voyage Of The Dawn Trader”, (2010).  “The Douglas Anderson Show”, (ep 1).  “The Grand Tour”, (Season 1, ep 2).  “The Last Leg”, (Season 9, ep 6).  “Two Doors Down”, (Season 2, ep 1).        

This week I have mainly been listening to:  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (17/11/16).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (17/11, 18/11, 21/11, 22/11/16).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Live)”, (21/11, 23/11 (Bob Mills), 24/11 (Jake Yapp), 25/11).  ”LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (24/11/16).   “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (18/11, 19/11/16) “Scroobius Pip, Distraction Pieces”, (ep 120, 10/10/16)(ep 123, 23/11/16).  “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 8, 15/11/15)(ep 14, 24/03/16)(ep 22, 12/06/16)(ep 22B, 19/06/16).  “These People Podcast”, (ep 4, 23/11/16).  “Toby Hadoke’s Who’s Round”,(ep 99, ep 100, 12/14)(ep 101, ep 102, 01/15)(ep 195, 11/16).  “Morrissey”, “Smiths”, “Turin Breaks”, “Frankie Geos To Hollywood”, ”OK GO”, “The Flaming Lips”, “The Smashing Pumpkins”, “Beatles”, “Foo Fighters”.