Misfits Mid-Life Crisis……..

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East & West and London, Essex, Surrey, Kent and Northampton (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 221 Saturday 8^th until Friday 14^th September 2018.

Last weekend Calamity and i visited “The Weald of Kent Country Craft Show” which we have been to many times over the years (It takes place twice a year in May and September) at Penshurst Place.  In a field a large number of different sized marquees were erected some for food and drink, which the local population of wasps enjoyed.  While the rest were full of arts and crafts of every description.  Of course there were activities to keep the sprogs quiet.  And something for everyone was the opportunity to watch Birds of Prey demonstrating skills.  When the birds were “performing”, I wondered if the man holding the mic ever got sweaty with panic that they might not return on cue.  I can confirm they all returned spectacularly.

 

Inside the arts and crafts marquees people sold products that they had lovingly made in living rooms, kitchens and workshops.  I suffer from terrible customer guilt and can’t look the person on the other side of the table in the eye.  If eye contact is made I feel the need to make conversation saying pointless shiz such as “how nice these are”, “that would look lovely in **** (insert location of choice) before walking to the next stall.  It cannot be easy on that side of the table after making the objects, travelling to the location, setting up and then hanging around all day doing the crossword hoping that someone will stop and spend money. 

  “Beautiful plumage”.

We saved the best till last.  Cheng Yan is a wildlife photographer and painter (his cat model’s for him) who travels the world taking breathtaking photographs of animals and landscapes.  Over the years we have bought many pictures from him and couldn’t help ourselves this time.  Even after a couple of years he remembered us giving us a free print each.  Here is a link to his site, https://www.chengyan.net

  “Wooden mushrooms, and @stephwillisuk entertaining the crowd”.

As a creative person, I admire people who sell what they have made.  If only I could buy from everyone.  It’s all very well that we (I) buy from the internet because of the convenience but it’s small independent shops and stalls that suffer.  Profits need to be shared about more, instead of filling the pockets of a few men who already have more money than some small countries.  As always it was a lovely day, look forward to the next visit.

 “Didn’t buy but wanted to”.

And Now For Something Completely Different……

  “Calamity, loves the cake!”.

Mental health is not the taboo it used to be.  People are more aware that a person might look perfectly well on the outside but inside they are in distress.  I don’t mind admitting I suffer from mental health issues, at the moment I’m ok (ish) there are good days and horribly dark days when I want to walk to jump in the Thames (being a good swimmer, I’d probably just end up at the Thames Barrier and then need money to catch a tube home).  At the end of the day, I am my worst enemy and it’s only me that can sort things out.

  “This is why Kent is known as The Garden of England”.

I recently went to a “Frazzled Café”, which was founded by comedian and fellow mental health sufferer and clever woman Ruby Wax.  The café’s are dotted around and usually take place in a branch of M&S where the café is partially closed during the event.  After being on the mailing list for over a year I thought I would go to a meeting.

  “Two phones, and two horrible shoes seen this week”.

The meeting was small with 6 others including the facilitator, everything was very informal.  No one is there to give advice, it’s a forum to talk, listen and feel safe.  Talking with strangers sometimes can be easier because they are neutral.  I’ve booked to attend another session next week.

 “Of course i would not want to get political here”.

If you have or know someone with mental health issues, you/they are not alone.  Here are a couple of useful links in the UK,

Samaritans www.samaritans.org or telephone on 116 123
Frazzled Café http://www.frazzledcafe.org

 “Young love”.

If your outside the UK please search for local help.

And Finally……

  “Enjoyed seeing this beauty on the way to work”.

Believe it or not this blog is read all over the world by a small number of lovely people.  Last weekend something special happened, I was in bed and noticed that China appeared on the stats list. In the 4 yrs that this blog has existed there has not been a single view from Russia or China.  I can now tick China off that list.  Come on Russia your next.

Note to all, thank you for reading, please share with everyone.

  “Lots of fungi, and my fave country lane”.

“Pointless” Possible Celeb spotting of the week……

“Cockwomble”, as in you “Orinoco! You complete and utter Cockwomble”.

 “Writing this shiz, distracted by Vampires”.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“Celebs On The Farm”, (S1, ep 8, TX: 29/08/18)(ep 9, TX: 30/08/18)(ep 10, TX: 31/08/18).  “Click”, (TX: 08/09/18).  “Fireman Sam”, (S6, ep 16).  “Friends”, (S1, ep 19 & ep 20)(S7, ep 11 to ep 25)(S8, ep 1 to ep 4).  “Grayson Perry: Rites Of Passage”, (TX: 13/09/18).  “Hidden Britain By Drone”, (S2, ep 5, TX: 09/09/18).  “Horizon”, (2016: 13, TX: 10/08/16).  “Krypton”, (S1, ep 4).  “Luke McQueen Comedy Pilot”, (S1, ep 1, TX: 05/09/18).  “Quatermass And The Pit (1958)”, (S1, ep1).  “Sense8”, (S1, ep 4 to ep 12).  “Serial Killer With Piers Morgan”, (S1, ep 3, TX: 13/09/18).  “Stacey Dooley Investigates”, (TX: 10/09/18).  “Star Trek II: The Wrath Of Khan”, (1982).  “The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice”, (S2 (S5), ep 2, TX: 07/09/18)(ep 3, TX: 14/09/18).  “The Great British Bake Off”, (S2 (S9), ep 3, TX: 10/09/18).  “The  Plague”, (S1, ep 3 & ep 4).  “The Sky At Night”, (TX: 09/09/18).  “Thomas & Friends: Big World! Big Adventures!”, (S22, ep 10).  “Travelman: 48hrs in…”, (S7, ep 1, TX: 09/09/18).  “Upstart Crow”, (S1, ep 3).  “Van Helsing”, (S2, ep 1 to ep 6). 

This week I have mainly been listening to:  

“Anti Social Show”, (ep 58, 07/09/18).  “Chasing Earhart”, (ep 58, 08/09/18).  “Griefcast”, (ep 50, 12/09/18).  “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (07/09, 13/09/18).  “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (07/09, 10/09, 11/09, 13/09/18).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (13/09/18).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (08/09, 14/09/18).  “NASA: Gravity Assist”, (11/09/18).  “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 61, 07/09/18).  “Quick Question”, (S2, ep 8 (ep 22),10/09/18).  “Skeptiod”, (ep 640, 11/09/18).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 104, 11/09/18).  “Strange Times”, (ep 277, 09/09/18).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 62, 13/09/18).  “True Crime Finland”, (bonus, 11/09/18).  “Morrissey”, “Air”, “Catfish And The Bottlemen”, “The Killers”, “Blur”, “Pulp”, “Lady Gaga”, “Suede”, “L7”, “4 Non Blondes”.        

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in Northamption, Surrey, East & West and South London (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 220 Saturday 1^st until Friday 7^th September 2018.

If you have read this shiz before you will know that I get up for work well before sparrow fart, in other words really early.  The reason for this is because London’s wonderful public transport system occasionally stop’s me from reaching my destination on time.  I am up so early that the fat cat which sits at the bottom of my friend’s garden under the bird feeder all day waiting for a free meal, hasn’t even opened its heavy lidded eyes.

 “Thanks SAZ for the jumper”.

Last week I felt that I was unraveling and as a result approached a boss; this could have backfired but went better than expected.  I now start an hour later; ok I don’t get a morning break and only have 30 min for lunch.  But this allows extra time in bed, time that could be spent watching a show or listening to a podcast or doing grubby things on my own!  Actually all I do is sleep, honest I just sleep!

 “For caption, see the pic”.

As Newton third law states, “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction”.  Here are a list of Pros and Cons regarding my new schedule.

 “I really want this jacket, Love Pinhead”.

Cons.

1/ The trains are much busier.  Most days I don’t get a seat until 20 mins into the journey.  I stand in the corner juggling bags and tablet while bingeing on episode after episode of adult fantasy.

 “That’s all i see these day, London is full of cranes”.

2/ The schools are back!  Yes, this week millions of sprogs are travelling to school in packs, crowding together all staring at their small illuminated devices while ignoring each other.  It would be nice when a seat becomes available if the kids would give an old lady struggling with bags and a tablet a seat.  Does that sound desperate enough?

  “About to call the register”.

3/ There is a constant worry that the trains are going to screwed up, a signal problem or a train malfunction could happen at any time.  Constantly running in my subconscious is a countdown telling me how long I have until I am shackled to my desk for 8 hrs.  It is a real first world worry.

 “If only i could find the X, that was on the treasure map”.

Pros.

1/ I get to spend an hour and a half extra in BED!  Nuff said!

This trail is for a month, fingers crossed it works and continues for as long as I am employed. However between you and me I am actively looking for work closer to home.

 “I’ll have seconds, please”.

And Now For Something Completely Different……

 “Have not been in Northampton in years”.

Last weekend I spent just over 24hrs in the countryside with my Mum and sister.  As I passed Newport Pagnell services on the M1 two memorable events happened.  1/ passed a Stobart vehicle named Vera.  And 2/ my olfactory system alerted me to fact that I had reached the countryside!  Yes I am talking about the smell of cow shIz!

  “My talented sister and Oliver.  That’s the Banjo, not me!”.
 
Highlights of my short trip include.  A visit to Northampton and a meal beside the Grand Union Canal which mum and Helen.  Also watching TV with mum; we really are a family of telly addicts.  Reality TV is not something I am interested in, but mum has been watching a Channel 5 show “Celebs On The Farm” so I sat down and watched with her.  It’s a show featuring a group of Z listers (in my opinion) dicking about on a farm.  To my horror I not only enjoyed but wanted to see more.

  “A lovely family on the canal”.

The programme got me thinking about farms.  When I visit mum I usually go on a walk (this visit was far too short) past a couple of farms, I always try from the roadside to see if I can spot animals from gates or between bushes and when I do it always makes my day.  It’s a fact that being near animals is relaxing.  Maybe that’s what I need, visit or volunteer at a farm.  Then there’s the smell, is it strange that I quite like the smell of cow shiz.  Maybe that’s how I could make my squillions, bottle the sweet smell of manure and take it to the “Dragons’ Den”.  Surely one sniff is enough to relax the most uptight Dragon or office worker.  Though thinking about it might be difficult to use in public.  That’s another money making idea flushed away.

 “Cheers!”.

Thank you to Mum and Helen for a lovely time.
 
And Finally……

 “So lovely to see my cuz again”.

This week I also met up with my cousin Jacqueline who I haven’t seen in about 30 years.  She is in the UK with her lovely hubby Ricky before they go on a coach trip around Europe.  We only had a couple of hours together, this was spent catching up and generally being shocked that so much time has passed.  I really enjoyed my time in there company, and hope that we meet again much sooner.

  “With the lovely Ricky”.

I really wish them both a wonderful tour around Europe, and a safe journey home to OZ.  I also want to thank Ricky’s Uncle Anton who welcomed me into his home.  And, yes Ricky I will be eating the String Hoppers with my fingers!

 “And Uncle Anton”.

“Pointless” Possible Celeb spotting of the week……
 
Think I saw Alexander Armstrong at the train station near work.

  “My view once at London Bridge station at night”.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

 “Writing this shiz, but slightly distracted by Tuppence”.

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“Big Star’s Little Star”, (S5, ep 6, TX: 01/09/18).  “Celebs On The Farm”, (S1, ep 1, TX: 20/08/18)(ep 2, TX: 21/08/18)(ep 3, TX: 22/08/18)(ep 4, TX: 23/08/18)(ep 5, TX: 24/08/18)(ep 6, TX: 27/08/18)(ep 7, TX: 28/08/18).  “Click”, (TX: 01/09/18).  “Doctor Who”, (S3/S29, ep 2 & ep 3).  “Fireman Sam”, (S6, ep 8).  “Friends”, (S7, ep 1 to ep 10).  “Ghost Stories”, (2017).  “Hannah Gadsby: Nanette”, (TX: 19/06/18).  “Krypton”, (S1, ep 3).  “Living Differently”, (S4, ep 1, TX: 04/09/18).  “Made By Machine: When AI Met The Archives”, (TX: 05/09/18).  “Ozark”, (S2, ep 6).  “Sense8”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 3).  “Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country”, (1991).  “The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice”, (S2 (S5), ep 1, TX: 01/09/18).  “The Great British Bake Off”, (S2 (S9), ep 2, TX: 05/09/18).  “The Joy Of AI”, (TX: 04/09/18).  “The Horizon Guide To AI”, (TX: 04/09/18).  “The Plague”, (S1, ep 1 & ep 2).  “Thomas & Friends: Big World! Big Adventures”, (S22, ep 5).  “Upstart Crow”, (S1, ep 2).  “Van Helsing”, (S1, ep 7 to ep 13). 

This week I have mainly been listening to:  

“BBFC”, (ep 72, 29/08/17)(ep 73, 21/09/17)(ep 85, 06/08/18).  “Brian Gittens And Friends”, (ep 43, 05/09/18).  “Griefcast”, (ep 25, 28/02/18)(ep 49, 05/09/18).  “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (30/08, 05/09/18).  “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (30/08, 31/08, 03/09, 04/09, 05/09, 07/09/18).  “In Poor Taste”, (ep 47, 04/08/16)(ep 48, 17/08/16).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (0609/18).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (01/09, 07/09/18).   “Quick Question”, (S2, ep 7 (ep 21), 03/09/18).  “Skeptiod”, (ep 639, 04/09/18).  “Strange Times”, (ep 274, 24/08/18)(ep 275, 31/08/18)(ep276, 02/09/18).  “The Angelos And Barry Podcast”, (04/09/18).  “True Crime Finland”, (ep 29, 07/09/18).  “Morrissey”, “R.E.M”, “Manic Street Preachers”, “Inxs”, “The White Stripes”, “Belly”.        

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East & West London and Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 219 Saturday 25^th until Friday 31^st August 2018.

Sitting on an empty train a couple of days ago I made myself comfortable spreading my shiz out for the journey into London.  I soon realised that something was wrong, it wasn’t the silence or the empty carriage (I love that) it was the heating.  Due to this I moved twice within a couple of minutes.  One thing you will never hear me say “how amazingly hot and wonderful the summer of 2018 was”, that’s because I only tolerate heat.  My heart sinks when I read that experts say that summers like the last one could become the norm.  Before anyone calls me a hypocrite the heat in Tofo or Ibiza really is different.  Plus i wasn’t commuting on stuffy trains or working in badly air conditioned offices.  Oh, by the way the serenity and quietness of the train was soon destroyed when at the next stop it filled with people travelling into town for various bank holiday events.

  “I continued there education, i’m a good aunty”.

Summer is ending and autumn is around the corner.  The knock on effect of this yearly change in climate is that shop, public transport and other public places have switched on their heating (it feels for me that it’s on full).  This is probably why so many people feel ill, because there is no gradual temperatures change; it’s either too hot or cold.

  “Zorbs of fun”.

I’m blaming this on why I feel ill this week, please send get well messages to getoverityousillycowitsjustacoughandablockednose.cock.UcaKe

  “Bank holiday fun in the park”.

I am an autumn and winter person, the rest of you can have all the summers you want.  Due to always feeling warm I tend to look out of place all year round dressed for summer.  Even when I do use a coat most of the time I’ll be carrying it because I’ll fry if I put it on, I can only wear it when it’s REALLY cold.  By carrying a coat I don’t look so out of place because everyone is wrapped up as if they are in the Antarctic (though I probably stand out like a sore thumb thinking about it).  I am part of a small group of people who enjoy this changing of seasons, I especially like the darker mornings and early afternoons.  My particular fave is when it’s dark at 3pm in December.  For a long time I felt more comfortable walking around then because in my mind I could hide from the rest of the world due to the dark.  Maybe part of me is a creature of the night (No not a lady of the night, I know that some of you have mucky minds).

 “From L to R Midnight and Misty”.

Of course I don’t want others to be cold, but use the heating appropriately.  It really doesn’t need to be on full at this time of the year.  This can’t be good for people’s health and the worlds dwindling resources (ohhh, getting serious there!).

 “Thanks SAZ, for the lovely take-a-way”.

And Now For Something Completely Different……

I spend a lot of the week travelling on trains, what keeps me sane is watching films and TV shows on my small electronic device.  Occasionally I become aware that the person next to me is also enjoying what I am watching.  Depending on my mood I might allow them to continue to watch, while other occasions a slight move of the screen will end there enjoyment.  It’s their fault if they didn’t bring entertainment for the journey. Most trains these days are littered with free newspapers read them!

 “Both Platforms going my way, its a race to see which came in first”.

I have a habit of watching with the subtitles, this might seem strange but occasionally the train is so noisy that the subs are all I have to work out what is being said.  If the freeloader next to me is annoying, then I will switch the subs off.  Yes I can be a nasty old hag when I want to be (some people might say I am one all of the time).  Recently a man who turned out to be Spanish enjoyed an episode of “Top Gear” by just reading the subs.  Yes we chatted that’s how I know he was from Spain.

 “Very excited at meeting a real celebrity”.

Lately I have been watching a lot of the MARVEL TV shows which are adult, violent and bloody, the perfect entertainment for a train trip.  One day this week I became aware of a small face looking at the screen.  A young girl had stopped as she was passing and had a good look at the tablet.  After looking at me for a moment she continued down the carriage.  I suspect she got bored straight away when she saw there were no colourful costumed characters prancing around.  I am just glad at that moment there was nothing adult on the screen.

 “I wouldn’t dream of arguing with him”.

Thinking about it I’m not sure what’s worse to watch in public.  Bloody adult content or psychedelic children’s programmes especially the ones from the 70s.  

 “I’m watching you closely”.

What’s worse you decide at surelynoonetakesdrugsintvespeciallychildrenstvinthe70s.cock.UcaKe

  “Front and back of a stone found on the way home, will post on FB then hide as requested”.

And Finally……

 “This person has pimped there ride”.

Overheard a young Women boast to her friends how she pays £500 a month into her pension.

Sentence of the week used in a podcast…..

 “Excellent use of blood in a swimming pool”.                                                                                   

 “Writing this shiz, being distracted by food and Shades (on the screen)”.                                 

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“Battlestar Galatica (1978)”, (S1, ep 9).  “Between Life And Death”, (TX: 13/07/10).  “Click”, (TX: 25/08/18).  “Daleks’ Invasion Earth 2150 A.D”, (1966).  “Despicable Me 3”, (2017).  “Disenchantment”, (S1, ep 5 to ep 10).  “Friends”, (S6, ep 1 to ep 25).  “Guardians Of The Galaxy”, (2014).  “Groundhog Day”, (1993).  “Hidden Britain By Drone”, (S2, ep 4, TX: 26/08/18).  “Horizon 2018:7”, (TX: 29/08/18).  “Horizon 2018:6”, (TX: 22/08/18).  “Krypton”, (S1, ep 2).  “MARVEL: Luke Cage”, (S2, ep 1 to ep 13).  “On The Buses”, (1971).  “Star Trek Enterprise”, (S1, ep 1).  “Star Trek The Generation”, (S7, ep 25).  “Star Wars; The Empire Strikes Back”, (1980).  “The Crystal Maze”, (S5, ep 6, TX: 24/08/17).  “The Great British Bake Off”, (S2 (S9), ep 1, TX: 28/08/18).  “The Joy Of Winning”, (TX: 28/08/18).  “The Secret Life Of Landfill: A Rubbish History”, (TX: 23/08/18).  “Upstart Crow”, (S1, ep 1).  “Van Helsing”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 6). 

This week I have mainly been listening to:  

“Anti Social Show”, (ep 57, 27/08/18).  “BBFC”, (ep 75, 10/11/17)(ep 77, 09/01/18)(ep 79, 08/02/18)(ep 81, 16/03/18)(ep 84, 22/06/18)(ep 85? Or 86, 31/08/18).  “Chasing Earhart“, (ep 57, 25/08/18).  “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (2x 27/08/18).  “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (22/08, 23/08, 24/08, 27/08, 28/08, 29/08/18).  “In Poor Taste”, (ep 49, 02/09/16)(ep 50, 16/09/16).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (30/08/18).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (25/08, 28/08, 31/08/18).  “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 59, 24/08/18)(ep 60, 31/08/18).  “NASA: The Rocket Ranch”, (ep 3, 28/08/18).  “Quick Question”, (S2, ep 6 (ep 20), 27/08/18).  “Skeptiod”, (ep 638, 28/08/18).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 103, 26/08/18)(ep 104, 31/08/18).  “Strange Times”, (ep 273, 18/08/18).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 61, 30/08/18).  “True Crime Finland”, (ep 28, 24/08/18).  “Morrissey”, “MGMT”, “James Brown”, “Richard Sherman”, “Smiths”, “Jake Bugg”, “Hole”, “Shed Seven”, “Kasabian”, The Killers”.        

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures In East & West London and Surrey.

Week 218, Saturday 18th until Friday 24th August 2018.

Firstly this week, HAPPY 2nd ANNIVERSARY TO SAZ & TIM.

Now this week’s ramble.

Its been a tough week, a week that has felt very long, which is of course a stupid thing to say as every week is exactly 100,080 minutes.  But to my tiny mushy excuse for a mind it’s felt longer than normal.  I won’t lie but these last seven days have felt more stressful than normal.  If you have read this ramble before you will know that I work in a contact centre (think of battery hens wearing headsets, saying the same thing over and over and over again).  In once sense we are a very popular because so many people ring us, but we are also the most unpopular department because of what we do and say.  One day this week as soon as the phones opened at 9am there were 3 calls waiting, that was an early sign that the day was going to be good.   Another time during the week there were 20 calls waiting.  Yes it’s been a horrible week.

 “Yes I really feel like this”.

But I didn’t want to not produce a blog after 218 weeks and disappoint my thousands of readers!  Opps did I say thousands; I meant the two or three who regularly read of this shiz (who I gratefully thank) plus the other lovely people who dip in and out when they have time.  Looking at the stats (I don’t know how accurate they are, but I look regularly) It’s always interesting to see which countries people live in who have looked at the blog.  However I still haven’t after 4 yrs had any views in Russia or China, my domination of the world is incomplete.  If you do have friends in those to amazing countries then please share the link and suggest that they have a look.  This small time blogger will feel satisfied when there country appears on the stat page.  I’m easily pleased!

 “Even West Ham Station looks good in the early evening sunshine”.

Because it’s the end of August I thought should think and start planning for the rest of the year.  This is because I am great at “talking the talk” but terrible about actually getting things done.  As you can tell from previous paragraph I hate what I do, and have applying for lots of jobs which don’t involve the public or telephones, or as little contact with both as possible.  But so far no one has wanted this washed up old hag of an applicant.  Therefore I need to ramp up the application process applying everyday so that by the end of the year I am not in such a stressful environment.

 “I know how to enjoy myself in bed”.

The other thing I MUST DO is make a list of agents who I can send my short film scripts and children’s books to.  There may/might be someone out there who could be mad enough to actually like what I have done and want to help me.  Of course I could just start a collection of rejection letters which in a year’s time would make a lovely collage as an art installation which a gallery might like to exhibit.  This really is important, I need to get off my large lardy arse and do this.  Even if in the end everyone says  “bugger off you talentless bleeping fool”  at least I tried and can grow old knowing I did my best.  But at this stage all I am doing is growing older and continually moaning.

 “Spotted on way to work. I’m not getting political promise”.

I think what I need is gentle reminders from the lovely readers of this shiz, to give me a kick every now and then.  Think of yourselves as bare electrical wires giving me a shock.

Hopefully next week will be a little more back to normal when I moan about public transport, the weather all the usual shiz that you know and love from this wonderful blog.

 “I’m a little short on decent pictures this week, as you can tell.  I won’t tell if you won’t”.

And Finally……

Think I passed actor “Nick Frost” near work.  I smiled, he ignored me, it was early so he can be forgiven.

Bought a pint of milk that sat on my desk all day.  In the afternoon  I took a swig and it was already tasting strange, I didn’t waste it of course.  Not sure what that says about the office and/or me.

 “She’s got fashion”.

This Weeks Blog Derogatory Work Of The Week……This weeks Blog derogatory word of the“Pillock”,a species of Sardine found in Europe.  It is the local name in Great Britain and elsewhere” (Britannica.com).  Oops that’s a Pilchard, what a Pillock

 “Writing this Shiz, while being distracted”.

The Mid-Life Crisis Conts…..

This Week I have Been Watching……

A quickie in the office (TX: 09/08/18).  Click (TX: 08/08/18). Disenchantment (S1, ep 1 to ep 4).  Friends (S5, ep 1 to ep 24)(S6, ep 1 to ep 5).  Happy! (S1, ep 1 to ep 8).  Hidden Britain by drone (S2, ep 3, TX: 19/08/18).  Krypton (S1, ep 1).  MARVEL’s Iron Fist (S1, ep 1 to ep 13).  MARVEL’s The Punisher (S1, ep 1 to ep 13).  Matrix Reloaded (2003).  The Crystal Maze (S5, ep 5, TX: 17/08/18.  The Last Leg (S14, ep 9, TX: 17/08/18).  The Real Marigold Hotel (S3, ep 4, TX: 22/08/18)

This Week I have Been Listening To……

Bbfc (ep 8, 26/10/12)(ep 83, 08/06/18)(ep 82, 30/04/18)(ep 80, 02/03/18).  Chasing Earhart (ep 56, 18/08/18).  IAin Lee (Highlights) (17/08, 20/08, 21/08, 23/08/18).  LBC NIck Abbot (Whole Show)(17/08, 18/08, 24/08/18). NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast (ep 58, 17/08/18).  Quick Question (s2, ep 5(ep 19), 20/08/18).  Skeptoid (ep 637, 21/08).  Soundtracking with Edith Bowman (ep 102, 17/08/18).  Strange Times (ep 272, 17/08/18).  True Crime Finland (ep 27, 10/08/18).  The Adam Buxton Podcast (ep 78, 18/08/18).  The Bad Day (ep 4, 17/02/18)(ep 5, 23/02/18)(ep 6, 02/03/18)(ep 7, 12/03/18)(ep 8, 08/08/18)(ep 9, 16/08/18).  MORRISSEY, Elestica, Sleeper, Iggy Pop, Buffy Clyro, MSP, Marilyn Manson.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East & West London and Essex (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 217 Saturday 11^th until Friday 17^th August 2018.

When the Olympics arrived in London 2012, I was surprised that queuing wasn’t added as a demonstration sport.  This is because queuing is something that people in the UK are good at.  Every day you see parents telling there sprogs to wait their turn to hand over a sticky half eaten packet of sweets, or a scrunched up magazine that a few minutes before had a badly produced toy stuck to the cover.  Most of the time the magazine won’t even be opened, but hopefully it will end up in a recycling bin, so in the future it might have a more useful existence as something else.

  “This place is full of oddity’s i would buy if i had some dosh”.
 
Back to queuing.  Look around the capital you will see lines of bored people standing behind each other, all of them wishing they were somewhere else.  Some people try to use the power of the mind to make the queue move faster and then look surprised when it doesn’t work (just me then).  Others will eye up a person ahead wondering if the front is as nice as the behind.  When the person there ogling looks round, they quickly return there gaze to the small electronic device in there hand pretending they are really popular on social network, while hoping that the person didn’t notice them staring (Just me again). 

 “Those damn papps get everywhere”.
 
But times are changing; queuing is not the art it used to be.  Especially on public transport!

  “I like the unusual”.
 
When travelling on the “Ginger line” (A term used with affection because I am a big ginger lover) there are readers that plastic “top up” tickets (Oyster cards) need to touch in order for the appropriate price to be charged.  Around these there is no such thing as queuing, what happens can only be described as a scrum (at least in Rugby there are rules).  Hand’s fight from every direction all trying to touch a plastic wallets, credit cards on the small pad.  With every train that arrives, a race starts as soon as the doors open as people rush to get to the reader first.  There are still one or two old fashioned people like me who queue, shuffling forward a centimetre at a time to validate their pass.  I am just glad the ticket machine is not sentient, because I can imagine it being terrified while it tries to escape through the forest of legs (Just me then).

  “Thats a very expensive and large Penny.  Loved the group of Dragons, who called themselves RAC’s gang”.

This is one example of where queuing has become extinct.  And it’s spreading!

  “The sign outside the loos and wasn’t for sale, the food wasn’t in the loo honest”.
 
Waiting for a bus used to be a gentle pursuit with people standing behind each other, the person at the front by the bus stop would stick out there arm when the large red vehicle approached.  It’s now unclear who is waiting for a bus and who is waiting for friends to arrive and block the bus stop with a car while they greet each for a couple of minutes before racing off.  Other people sit at bus stop’s to make a call or just watch the world go by, because they don’t seem to have anything better to do.  The actual people waiting for the bus stand wherever they want, many of them appear as if from thin air all waving the bus down as it approaches.  If i was the driver and saw this mass of hands, i would hit the gas and see how fast a double decker can really travel.  Once the doors open everyone pushes and shoves there way on board.  Maybe I’m just old and long for the days of one person moving at a time.  What the hordes of people fighting to get on board (this also happens on trains and tubes) don’t realise is this lack of order just delays them from getting to their destination!

   “A few of the locals in Battlesbridge, who are always welcoming”.
 
I was in Canada in the late 80s travelling on The Trans Canadian Railway.  I approached a group of people asking if this was the queue to buy food.  The blank looks on the face of the very nice Canadians was priceless.  I was firmly put in my place, they didn’t queue they lined up.

  “was very tempted for £15”.

Queuing really used to be an art, however these days it’s every person for themselves.

And Now For Something Completely Different……

  “We travelled light”.  The show was in full swing when we arrived”.

Last weekend my friend “Calamity” and I visited the Southbank “River Stage” outside The National Theatre for the third year running.  Surprisingly the live music during the afternoon and the screening of a play recorded from the stage of The National Theatre in the evening is free.  This year was the first when the weather was against us, we took coats because we were determined to enjoy the show and a little rain was not going to stop us.  When the rain did fall what was nice was that the event organisers handed out plastic poncho allowing the audience to continue enjoy the show.

   “Plenty of people got up, don’t worry i stayed seated because i was glued to the chair”.

This made me think of when “Calamity” and I saw “Babe” at Regent Park Open Air Theatre a number of years ago. The show continued when the heavens opened, and the play only stopped because it became unsafe for the cast to continue.  Don’t worry we returned the next day and saw the entire show that time.

  “Calamity commentating at a new Olympic demonstration sport”. 

This is another thing that people in the UK do well.  We don’t allow the weather to ruin our enjoyment of an open air event.  There is a classic image that springs to mind of a family on holiday on in the 1950s eating ice cream, sitting in deckchairs on the beach on a gloomy day.  Maybe that could become a demonstration sport if the Olympics ever return to the UK, it’s definitely one that we would win not have had to train for, were all good at it. 
 
 And Finally……

  “It was not as messy as it looks, honest”.

A couple of coincidences involving my friend’s car.  When I started the engine for the first drive a couple of weeks ago “Shed Seven, Going for Gold” was playing on the radio. I turned on the engine last weekend the same song was playing.  As we reached our location I was singing (yes I call it singing) to “Oasis, Whatever”.  Three to four hrs later when I started the engine that same track was playing, and yes I continued to sing.

What are the chances of this happening? Or has “Absolute Radio” really only got a couple of tracks to play.

     “End of a wet but fun evening”.

If you would like to complain about the quality of this blog please email.

shutupandwritesomethingmoreinterestingnextweek.go.UcaKe                                     

 “Writing this shiz trying not to be detracted by Rachel and Monica”.                                                      

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“Chucklevision”, (S21, ep 1).  “Click”, (TX: 11/08/18).  “Friends”, (S3, ep 24 to ep 25)(S4, ep 1 to ep 24).  “Hidden Britain By Drone”, (S2, ep 2, TX: 13/08/18).  “MARVEL’s: Daredevil”, (S2, ep 12 to ep 13).  “MARVEL’s: Luke Cage”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 13).  “Mechanical Monsters”, (TX: 08/08/18).  “Sylvia Plath: Inside The Bell Jar”, (TX: 11/08/18).  “The Crystal Maze”, (S5, ep x, TX: xx/08/17).  “The Last Leg”, (S14, ep 8, TX: 10/08/18).  “The Matrix”, (1999).  “The Real Marigold Hotel”, (S3, ep 3, TX: 15/08/18).  “The Sky At Night”, (TX: 10/08/18).  “Train Surfing Wars: A Matter Of Life And Death”, (TX: 11/08/18). 

This week i saw live at the River Stage:

“Roger Chinety And The Ballroom Dance Band”, “The Shirt Tail Stompers”, “Follies”, (performed and recorded on 16/11/17)

This week I have mainly been listening to:  

“Brian Gittens And Friends”, (ep 42, 14/08/18).  “Chasing Earhart“, (ep 55, 10/08/18).  “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (09/08/18).  “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (09/08, 14/08, 15/08/18).  “In Poor Taste”, (ep xx, xx/10/16).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (11/08/18).  “NASA: Gravity Assist”, (15/08/18).  “Quick Question”, (S2, ep 4(ep 18), 13/08/18).  “Skeptiod”, (ep 636, 14/0x/18).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 101, 10/08/18).  “Strange Times”, (ep 270, 10/08/18)(ep 271, 11/08/18).  “The Aggy Fox Podcast”, (ep 33, 06/08/18)(ep 34, 14/08/18).  “The Angelos And Barry Podcast”, (11/08/18).  “The Bad Day”, (ep 1 to ep 3, 08/02/18).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 60, 17/08/18).  “Morrissey”, “k.d Lang”, “Shed Seven”, “Oasis”, “Nirvana”, “Bombay Bicycle Club”, “The Communards”, “Tiffany”, “Stevie Wonder”, “P.J Harvey”.       

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East and West London & Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 216 Saturday 4^th until Friday 10^th August 2018.

It’s been a week of “firsts”.  My first memory is drumming on toys and kitchen containers.  The first person I called a friend can still be pictured in my mind, I remember their name, where they lived but have no idea what happened once there family moved during the mid 70s.  Over the years I have wondered what happened to that friend and others I was close to when young.  Searches on-line haven’t produced results, I wonder if they remember me as I do them.
 
And now this week’s “first”, first.

 “After this you might find me in the kitchen more”.
 
I’m not a cook, but this week I wore a pinny and made sweet potato chips for the first time.  If I am being completely transparent the prep was done by my friend, all I did was to jiggle them around to stop them burning.  This is of course a vital job helping to make them the best sweet potato chips around.  I was rightly proud.

 “Do you want them open or wrapped”.

The next “first”.

 “Power!!!!”.
 
I drove my friend’s car (I am allowed, if you were wondering) on what was his maiden journey to a large shopping centre.  I felt like “Parker” to my friends “Lady Penelope”, I know my place.  Looking forward to more trips, even if it’s to the shops.

 “Calamity and Arty”.
 
And now the most impressive “first” (cue fanfare) of the week !!! 

 “This fellow travelled with me on the tube for a couple of stops, i did asked if he had an valid Oyster”.
 
London has been until a couple of days ago as hot as hell.  Because I am a caring individual I suggested that I could “water the plants “.  Picture the scene, it’s a hot early summers evening, I’m wearing shorts and vest top, using a couple of large recycled bottles filled with refreshing H2O.  As I feed the plants my friend pops out of the house to do something to the car.  At that moment a welcomed breeze flicked my hair and slamming the front door.  We stopped what we were doing and looked at each other in horror!

 “Someone got out of bed the wrong side”.
 
Calamity tried the door which of course wouldn’t open; because I hadn’t put the latch on.  This is what happens every time I try to be “helpful, something goes wrong.  Luckily the kitchen door was open, but this was the other side of a fence.   At that moment I morphed into an old lardy female version of Tom Cruise and channelled my inner “Mission Impossible” springing into action.  After a moment to assess the situation I commandeered the neighbour’s largest wheelie bin and climbed on top, struggled over the fence and gate balancing on a thin beam of wood before jumping to the ground out of sight.  

 “A fave chip shop closed for summer!!!!!  Oh we wont mention the small flies on the bottom of the sign”.
 
Cut to the end of a long boring story.  The fence didn’t collapse, the kitchen door was still open and because I am a nice person my friend was let back into her own house.  If you’re concerned about the wheelie bin, the lid suffered only minor damage due to the extreme weight placed on top of it, but this will never be detected, hopefully! 
 
What have I learnt from this incident?  When attempting to be helpful don’t just assume.  If going outside put the latch on or ensure that the doormat is in the way of a closing door.

 “Someone came home. I couldn’t leave him”.
 
And, a final “first”!  
 
Sitting on a slow train at the end of another hot day, the man next to me opened a drink which exploded over him and spayed me.  That’s the first time in a long time I have been squirted by a man!!!                                                                                                                              

And Now For Something Completely Different……

At my 1 to 1 this week I was congratulated on the fact that I had been late once in many months.  Of course being late for work is never good, but my journey is a long one which can involve various different trains.  Because I don’t want to be late, I leave a lot earlier than I actually need to.  This means I normally spend time in a café near work or walking by the Thames taking time to relax before the madness of the day begins. 

 “I saw this Caterpillar having a poo”.
 
That next morning, tubes, buses and trains all seemed to be against me.  Yes you guessed correctly, I was very late.  It took me as longer to travel across the capital than it did recently to fly to Ibiza.  Of course I realise I shouldn’t complain because there are people who really have tough lives and my first world problem is nothing to really moan about.  I am very lucky to be born in this country and city when I was.  However a job nearer home would really help, last weekend I applied for so many jobs, fingers crossed someone will want me and help make life a little easier.

 “Who forgot to brush there hair the night before”.
 
I have mentioned this before, but on difficult days I have to remember why I am subjecting myself to this, so I can return to Tofo in Mozambique in early 2019. 
 
Rant over, for now.

 “Trying to write this shiz, but being distracted by creamy things”.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“Australia With Simon Reeves”, (S1, ep 1, TX: 19/05/13).  “Click”, (TX: 04/08/18).  “Friends”, (S2, ep 17 to ep 24)(S3, ep 1 to ep 23).  “Hidden Britain By Drone”, (S2, ep 1, TX:05/08/18).  “Horizon 2018:5, Jupiter Revealed”, (TX: 07/08/18).  “Humans”, (S3, ep 8).  “Keeping Faith”, (S1, ep 1).  “MARVEL’s: Daredevil”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 13)(S2, ep 1 to ep 11).  “The Crystal Maze”, (S5, ep 3, TX: 03/08/17)(ep 4, TX: 10/08/18).  “The Last Leg”, (S14, ep 7, TX: 03/08/18).  “The Real Marigold Hotel”, (S3, ep 2, TX: 08/08/18). 

This week I have mainly been listening to:  

“Anti Social Show”, (ep 56, 10/08/18).  “BBFC”, (ep 1, 31/07/12)(ep 5, 31/07/12).  “Chasing Earhart“, (ep 53, 05/08/18).  “Crossing Continents: Euthanasia – Aurelia’s Story (BBC R4)”, (TX 09/08/18).  “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (06/08/18).  “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (06/08, 07/08, 08/08/18).  “In Poor Taste”, (ep 51, 17/10/16).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (09/08/18).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (04/08, 05/08, 06/08, 10/08/18).  “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 57, 10/08/18).  “NASA: In Silicon Valley”, (ep 54, 10/08/17)(ep 100, 20/07/18).  “Skeptiod”, (ep 608, 31/01/18)(ep 614, 13/03/18)(ep 635, 07/08/18).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 100, 08/08/18).  “Strange Times”, (ep 269, 04/08/18).  “The Aggy Fox Podcast”, (ep 32, 06/08/18).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 59, 09/08/18).  “Morrissey”, “Miles Kane”, “Supergrass”, “Gaz Coombes”, “The Black Keys”, “Elton John”, “Ash”, “Suede”, Kasabian”, Madonna”.        

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East, West and South East London (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 215 Saturday 28^thJuly until Friday 3^rd August 2018.

The streets of London are a battleground of Red, Yellow and Orange.  Which rental bike scheme would you or do you use?  Travelling by bicycle is fun; it’s easy, anyone can do it.  It helps keep people fit, plus in a city like London it’s sometimes the fastest way to travel.  I have many fond memories of cycling, such as when my dad took the stabilisers off and I cycled on two wheels for the first time.  Or when my friend “The Big Fellow’s” brakes failed on a steep hill with one of the break pad actually hitting him in the face (don’t worry he survived, just!).

  “This famous Tea clipper was for once not on fire!”

In recent years there has been an explosion in the amount of people peddling around the capital. This has resulted in cycle lanes on many roads and in the centre of town the infamous Blue Cycle Super Highways which caused a lot of disruption during its construction.  Safety is an issue; there have sadly been a number of accidents, many fatal (I was hit twice when I cycled regularly).

  “London old and new”. 
 
As I mentioned at the top of this ramble there are a number of different rental schemes available.  The oldest and most popular are nicknamed “Boris Bikes” after the “Major of London” in office when they were launched.  These bikes are parked in docking stations so don’t cause an obstruction.  However recently there has been an invasion of Yellow and Orange bikes which sometimes are found on their own or in rows ready to fall over like dominos when bored school kids on holidays knock them over for shiz and giggles.  Important advice, if you ever use a rental bike “wipe the seat with a wet wipe”.  I say this as a couple of years ago on “Naked Cyclist Day” (yes it’s a real thing) amongst the procession I saw a couple of rental bikes being ridden by naked cyclist.  We are constantly being told that Cycling is not just good for us, but the environment.   However I also suspect it’s GOOD for the businesses that are making piles of money out of this mode of transport.

 “A lone Yellow Peril, waiting to be knocked over for shiz and giggles”.
 
In the centre of town the majority of rental bikes are used by tourist (I have no proof other than what I have seen).  Cycling Londoners tend to speed around in Hi-Viz clothing wearing helmets with lights and small camera attached.  When I used to cycle to work I would do a quick change (superhero style) in the loo before arriving in the office looking hot and flustered after rushing up a number of flights of stairs.

  “Calamity, didn’t write this message on the leaf if your wondering”.  
 
As I said I am a fan of cycling, but one thing that annoys me are clearly capable adults riding on the pavement who “tut” and get annoyed when pedestrians who get in there way.  Walking beside the North London canal recently myself and other pedestrians had to keep dodging cyclists constantly who didn’t care that they were making things difficult for people out for a walk with prams or dogs.  I’m surprised that there weren’t a number of cyclists paddling in the canal.  Sometimes I wish I had a broom handle to shove into there passing spokes.  But of course this wouldn’t be nice to the broom handle.  My bicycle has been in my sisters shed for a couple of years, maybe I should pull it out and start pedaling again.  Is the world ready to see me in Lycra?  That would definitely deserve a broom handle in the spokes from a passers-by.

  “This train couldn’t decide if it was coming or going”.

 

 And Now For Something Completely Different……

  “Saw an interesting designer bag. And bought fudge in a shop with Star Wars toys on shelves”.

I’ve always been a cat person, as a child I was terrified of dogs but that’s for another week.  Cats have always been very important in my life and still are.

  “This cat seen in Ibiza recently was not a “Little Fatty”.

 
While re-watching “A Street Cat Named Bob” a couple of evenings ago, I became aware of movement on the floor.  A cat that my friend and I call “Little Fatty”, because when it lays down its tummy spills around it like a puddle had walked in through the French windows and plonked its large behind on the carpet.  “Little Fatty” possibly wanted to get tips on how “Bob” changed a homeless man’s life. 

  “This week i saw an American old banger, and a lost hat”.
 
My friend and I looked at each other and then at the cat, who stood up and waddled outside.  It’s not a “come stroke me” wanting to be fussed cat, it keeps its distance and can usually be found in the garden under the birdfeeder hoping for free fast food.  Because of its size, I suspect even the slowest bird would get away without a problem.  The cat is aware that it’s safe when around us and just lies sunning itself when we are in the garden.  I thought it was funny that while watching a film about a cat, a cat came in.  Apologies for this boring story, it’s tough every week to have interesting content.

 “Look in to my eyes, you are feeling very sleepy”.
 
If you would like to complain about lack of content please contact,
yourblogisboringyousillycow@hotfemail.co.ucake 

And Finally……

 “Pretty coloured dog”.

The small amount of rain which has fallen this week was definitely welcomed by strange people like me, who have recently felt so uncomfortable in the heatwave just trying to do normal daily things.  Am I the only person that likes the smell of the air after rain?  I sound like a real hippy.  I’ll go hug a tree.

 “Writing this SHIZ, while playing buses”.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“13 Reason’s Why”, (S1, ep 3).  “A Street Cat Named Bob”, (2016).  “Click”, (TX: 28/07/18).  “Friends”, (S1, ep 22 to ep 24)(S2, ep 1 to ep 16).  “Horizon 2018:4, Spina Bifidar & Me”, (TX: 26/07/18).  “Leading Lady Parts”, (TX: 30/07/18).  “MARVEL: Jessica Jones”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 13)(S2, ep 1 to ep 13).  “MARVEL: The Defenders”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 8).  “Stath Lets Flats”, (S1, ep 6).  “The Big Fix: Inventing The Impossible”, (S1, ep 1, TX: 26/07/18).  “The Crystal Maze”, (S5, ep 2, TX: 27/07/17).  “The Five Billion Pound Super Sewer”, (S1, ep 3, TX: 31/07/18).  “The Last Leg”, (S14, ep 6, TX: 27/07/18).  “The Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers (Ext Ed Pt 2)”, (2002).  “The Real Marigold Hotel”, (S3, ep 1, TX: 01/08/18).  “Were Doomed! The Dad’s Army Story”, (TX: 22/12/15).

This week I have mainly been listening to:  

Chasing Earhart“, (ep 52, 29/07/18).  “Grief Cast”, (ep 26, 07/03/18)(ep 48, 01/08/18).  “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (2x 30/07/18).  “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (26/07, 27/07, 30/07, 01/08/18).  “In Poor Taste”, (ep 17, 13/04/15)(ep 52, 05/11/16).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (02/08/18).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (28/07, 03/08/18).  “NASA: Gravity Assist”, (01/08/18).  “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 56, 03/08/18).  “Quick Question”, (S2, ep 3 (ep 17), 30/07/18).  “Skeptiod”, (ep 616, 27/03/18)(ep 634, 31/07/18).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 99, 30/07/18).  “True Crime Finland”, (ep 26, 27/07/18).  “Morrissey”, “The Strokes”, “The Manic Street Preachers”, “Bowie”, “The Cure”, “The Kinks”, “The White Stripes”.        

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East & West London and Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 214 Saturday 21^st until Thursday 27^th July 2018.

This week I did think about complaining about the continued heatwave that the UK is experiencing, but you know me I try to be positive in this blog and don’t like moaning.

  “What a fab set of pins on this little lady”.
 
This week something more important and personal has happened, my travelling companion of many thousands of miles, who also keeps me company at night, is acting up.  I would even say it’s ill.  My tablet! (What did you think I was talking about) is showing its age.  This device has been my rock; it’s kept me going when emotionally I was ready to jump into the Thames.  It was given to me as a gift two years ago and since then it has been used every day for news, entertainment and writing this shiz weekly.  This electronic wonder has really been very important in fighting the daily drudgery of work, it’s my anesthetic against the world.  For instance when travelling on the tube, I can slump in a corner (if I have a seat) and allow the moving images to numb my mind.  It also helps because as everyone knows Rule One of travelling in the capital is “never look at fellow passengers”, while Rule Two is “there is NOOOO…. rule two!”. 

  “A tube of PRIDE”.
 
At work during breaks or lunch the tablet helps block out the world allowing me to be quiet and wonder why my life appears to continually go wrong.  When lunchtime starts I plug in at my desk and continue listening to a podcast, then race down the high street dodging pushchairs, mobility scooters and drunks (some drunks are driving mobility scooters, while others push passed-out friends in pushchairs) to reach the coffee shop.  Once in the queue for my beverage (a word I really don’t like) the podcast is switched off and the film or TV prog I was watching will resume.  During that hour I am desperate to get maximum entertainment out of my free time away from the shackles of the office (reading this last paragraph make me realise A/ how strange I am, and B/ how VERY strange I am!).

  “Taking a driving lesson early morning on the Thames”.
 
The last couple of weeks the battery has started to show its age by not holding its power like it used to and, on other occasions, just dying.  I visited an “authorised” shop a couple of days ago.  Actually I never made it inside because I had to queue outside and be triaged by staff with smiles from ear to ear who decide if a customer is important enough to be allowed to cross the threshold.  The very smiley women basically told me what I expected her to say “you need to buy a new tablet”.   Leaving, what crossed my mind was, when did all employees in a shop wear an earpiece.  It’s normal for security or a manager to have one or at least a radio, but every member of staff in this branch (I peered in the window) appeared to be jacked in.  So I wonder if the smiley lady was being told what to say by a disembodied voice in a bunker full of screens, watching and vetting potential customer.  It was all very strange, all the staff walked around as if they worked for the security service (not that I’m paranoid!…. Who said that!).

  “I surprised little ones by jumping in this paddling pool, so refreshing”. 
 
The tablet and I are continuing to travelling daily, but due to its condition I now carry an external power pack and cable in my already heavy rucksack, plus I am always on the lookout for an old fashioned plug point.  So I don’t look suspicious in anyway in the current climate with a rucksack pulling out wires connected to electrical devices while looking around for power points!!!!

  “The heat was all to much for JBomb”.

 There may come a time when I have to dust off the kindle and read a downloaded book, or worse pick up a free morning paper trying to find something that’s interesting to take my mind of the journey.  The long term plan is to save up enough to buy an “all singing and dancing” shiny new tablet which will help take my mind off the drudgery of life while I watch drama and documentaries in which others are having a miserable time and trying to escape their lives.  I really know how to enjoy myself.

  “There are a lot of nerds near my work”.
 
If you would like to contribute to the above please send leaves, conkers or pieces of string to the following

BUY YOUR OWN TABLET YOU SILLY COW
52 Big Beaver
Olympus Mons
Llandudno
W12 8QT  

 “This kitty is a regular law breaker”.                                                                                                                                         

And Now For Something Completely Different…… 

 “Already very hot at 6.40am”.

As I said at the top of this ramble, and I wasn’t moaning honest!  It’s been incredibly hot this last week beating records from 1976. I joked to my niece and her friend that it was so hot they could fry an egg on paving stones.  It was only the next day I really thought about this, now they’re on school holidays I hope that they don’t try this.  I’m supposed to be a responsible adult.  Also I definitely don’t want them to try this before I get a chance. That just wouldn’t be fair!

And Finally……

  “Early morning Geek alert”.

BREAKING NEWS.

It’s rained…….. “Thank the Great Pumpkin!”

 “Writing this Shiz, with IBIZA goblets”.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“13 Reason’s Why”, (S1, ep 1 & ep 2).  “Click”, (TX: 21/07/18).  “Final Space”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 10).  “Friends”, (S1, ep 20 & ep 21).  “Hidden”, (S1, ep 8).  “Incredibles 2”, (2018).  “Japan’s Secret Shame”, (TX: 28/06/18).  “Mortimer & Whitehouse: Gone Fishing”, (S1, ep 6, TX: 25/07/18).  “Stath Lets Flats”, (S1, ep 4 & ep 5).  “Stupid Man, Smart Phone”, (S1, ep 4, TX: 22/05/16)(ep 5, TX: 29/05/16).  “The Crystal Maze”, (S5, ep 1, TX: 20/07/17).  “The Five Billion Pound Super Sewer”, (S1, ep 2, TX: 24/07/18).  “The Last Leg”, (S14, ep 5, TX: 20/07/18).  “The New Legend Of Monkey”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 10).  “Top Gear: Africa Special”, Pt1 (S19, TX: 03/03/13) Pt2, (TX: 10/03/13).  Top Gear: Bolivia Special”, (S14, ep 6, TX: 27/12/09).  “Top Gear: Burma Special”, Pt1 (S21, ep 6, TX: 09/03/14) Pt2, (ep 7, TX: 16/03/14).  “Top Gear: East Coast Special”, (S16, TX: 21/12/10).  “Top Gear: India Special”, (S18, TX: 28/12/11).  “Top Gear: Middle East Special”, (S16, TX: 26/12/10).  “Top Gear: Patagonia Special”, Pt1, (S22, TX 27/12/14) Pt2, (S22, TX:28/12/14).  “Top Gear: Vietnam Special”, (S12, ep 8, TX: 28/12/08).  “Trump: A Very British Welcome?”, (TX: 16/07/18)

This week I have mainly been listening to:  

“Anti Social Show”, (ep 55, 27/07/18).  “BBFC Podcast”, (ep 16, 15/11/13)(ep 44, 24/02/16)(ep 45, 24/02/16)(ep 46, 23/03/16).  “Brian Gittens And Friends”, (ep 41, 25/07/18).  “Grief Cast”, (ep 27, 14/03/18)(ep 47, 25/07/18).  “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (19/07, 20/07, 23/07, 24/07, 25/07/18).  “In Poor Taste”, (ep 54, 24/11/16)(ep 55, 12/12/16).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (26/07/18).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (21/07, 27/07/18).  “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 54, 20/07/18)(ep 55, 27/07/18).  “NASA: Rocket Ranch”, (ep 2, 25/07/18).  “Quick Question”, (S2, ep 2 (ep 16), 23/07/18).  “Skeptiod”, (ep 539, 17/10/17)(ep585, 22/08/17)(ep 587, 05/09/17)(ep 596, 07/11/17)(ep 633, 24/07/18).  “Morrissey”, “Olivia Newton John”, “The XX”, “Meatloaf”, “Rocky Horror Show OST”, “The Mammas & The Papas”, “Iggy Pop”, “Smiths”, “Air”, “Lorde”.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in IBIZA, Surrey, East & Central and West London (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 213 Saturday 14^thJuly until Friday 20^th July 2018.

Growing up my family went on camping trips to South Wales or Cornwall.  Spain might as well have been another planet; my image of the country was a place with people who had skin as tough as red tanned show leather.  

   “All aboard the Skylark”.

Of course I am uglier and older now and am never happier than sitting belted into a large metal tube travelling at speed thousands of feet in the air.  I still don’t enjoy the heat but some of my favourite places have been warm (Tofo, Mozambique) it’s all part of travelling.  A few years ago I spend a long weekend in Barcelona, what a beautiful city with people whose skin was nothing like tanned red leather, in fact there were a lot of very beautiful people speaking a lovely language.  Last week i visited the legendary party island of Ibiza.  I decided on the plane to let groups like the hen party (“Team Sullivan”) who travelled out on our flight to party hard while on the island, this gave me licence to do nothing.

   “What a beautiful place”.

The family hired a villa in Sant Joan de Labritja, which I read is the least populated Municipal on the island.  Our nearest neighbours were a couple of hundred metres away on every side.  As you would expect I spent most of my time in the pool, catching children (my niece and nephew if you’re wondering as they jumped in).  Or lying in a hammock (I only fell out once) attempting to read but usually falling asleep.  Something that was very relaxing at any time was the sound of crickets and other insects nearby.  Because the villa was secluded, I embraced skinny dipping (sorry if that image has psychologically damaged you) which is something that everyone should try.

   “Were good at sitting down”.

We hired two cars; luckily all I had to do was follow my brother-In– law like an excited dog sniffing the arse of a friendly puppy.  Every car in rural areas was covered in layer of red dust which looked very much like Martian regolith.  I did wonder what the dust was doing to the cardiovascular systems of the population who live on the island and its visitors.  Thinking about this, a lot of clubber are probably inhaling powders and other substances a lot more dangerous than red dust covering cars.  Even though the countryside appeared very desert like, there were a lot of trees and other vegetation which have adapted to survive this harsh environment.  All over the island there were trees full of Lemon’s, Orange’s, Plum’s and other fruits.  In the grounds of our villa we had so many trees with fresh fruit which of course we enjoyed.

   “Look at the fruits”.

As you would expect, the beaches were stunning!  The sand burnt your toes, the sea was an incredible shade of blue and a lot of women were topless!   I took every opportunity to swim and generally mess about in the ocean including jumping in fully clothed to the amusement of my niece and nephew.  No I didn’t go topless!

   “What can i say, just beautiful”.

Those seven days were not enough, with so much more to see.  Flights are cheap; it’s just the delays that can be a pain (thank you a certain budget airline).  I would imagine that no frills accommodation would not break the bank; it might be useful to learn how to ride (balance) on a small clapped out moped.  During the last day I noticed a couple of dive centre so maybe this could be my future.  Who knows? 

   “I really liked the old red car, very European”.

Growing up, Spain or the Mediterranean was a location that didn’t excite me.  This attitude I suspect was because all I ever saw on TV and in Film’s was the UK or US.  The lifestyle of children growing up in the Mediterranean was completely different to that of South London.  That’s all changed, I realise that places like Spain and the Mediterranean are exciting and full of adventure.  Of course I wouldn’t say no to re-visiting Newquay or Tenby, as I have many happy memories of them from childhood.  One which that stands out is seeing Tony Blackburn presenting the Radio 1 Roadshow in August 1977 in Newquay.  What a  show and of course Tony is still a radio legend, but it’s the tight white shorts he wore that have haunted me to this day.  Maybe I should book another flight to the Med as therapy. 

   “Smiles, kisses and a couple of drinks”.

And Now For Something Completely Different…… 

   “So pleased mum got in the pool a couple of times.  Which boat should i buy”.

While I was away the office had a reshuffled.  As a result I have lost my limited view outside, such as seeing the top of vans parked or clouds passing.  Now I can see the lift and the occasionally a head bobbing back and forth in the reception.  I miss the clouds!

   “It really was that hot in the car”.

And Finally……

   “Roisin Murphy was wonderful”.

I joked at the opticians when I picked up my glasses “its all down hill from now”.  The guy looked at me seriously and said ”yes it is”.  Opps that put me in my place, eyesight is not to be joked about. Yes I am wearing the specs as I type this.  Do I look intelligent or a bigger knob?

 “Trying to write this shiz, if only i can find those specs”.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“Can’t Cope, Won’t Cope”, (S2, ep 4).  “Click”, (TX: 07/07, 14/07/18).  “Doctor Who S11 Trailer”, (TX: 15/07/18).  “Gnomeo And Juliette”, (2011).  “Hidden”, (S1, ep 6 & ep 7).  “Horizon 2018:3, How To Build A Time Machine”, (TX: 10/07/18).  “Jack Whitehall At Large”, (2017).  “Jack Whitehall: Travels With My Father”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 6).  “Mortimer & Whitehouse: Gone Fishing”, (S1, ep 4, TX: 11/07/18)(ep 5, TX: 18/07/18).  “Plebs”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 6)(S2, ep 1 to ep 8)(S3, ep 1 to ep 8).  “Star Trek: Beyond”, (2016).  “Stath Lets Flats”, (S1, ep 3).  “Stupid Man, Smart Phone”, (S1, ep 1, TX: 15/05/16)(ep 2, TX: 22/06/16)(ep 3, TX: 15/05/16).  “The Five Billion Pound Super Sewer”, (S1, ep 1, TX: 17/07/18).  “The Last Leg”, (S14, ep 3, TX: 07/07/18)(ep 4, TX: 13/07/18).  “The Misadventures Of Romesh Rangernathan”, (S1, ep 2, TX: 08/07/18)(ep 3, TX: 15/07/18).  “The Rise And Fall Of Nokia”, (TX: 10/07/18).  “The Sky AT Night”, (TX: 08/07/18).  “Top Gear: America Special”, (S9, ep 2, TX: 02/02/07).  “Top Gear: Botswana Special”, (S10, ep 4, TX: 04/11/07).  “Top Gear: Polar Special”, (S9, ep 8, TX: 25/07/07).

This week I saw live:  

“Roisin Murphy At Somerset House”, (15/07/18).

This week I have mainly been listening to:  

“BBFC Podcast”, (ep 20, 25/04/14)(ep 38, 08/12/15)(ep 46, 23/03/16)(ep 50, 18/05/16)(ep 76, 06/12/17).  “Chasing Earhart”, (KPH Special, 14/07/18)(ep 51, 15/07/18).  “Grief Cast”, (ep 46, 18/07/18).  “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (12/07, 13/07/18).  “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (12/07, 13/07, 16/07, 17/07, 18/07/18).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (19/07/18).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (13/07, 14/07, 20/07/18).  “NASA: Gravity Assist”, (17/07/18).  “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 53, 13/07/18).  “NASA: In Silicon Valley”, (ep 99, 13/07/18).  “Quick Question”, (S2, ep 1 (ep 15), 16/07/18).  “Skeptiod”, (ep 632, 17/07/18).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 97, 16/07/18).  “The Kimchi Chronicles – What?!# 6”, (15/07/18).  “True Crime Finland”, (ep 25, 13/07/18).  “Morrissey”, “Suede”, “Erasure”, “The Pet Shop Boys”, “Nirvana”, “Blur, Roisin Murphy”.        

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Week 212, Friday 6th July until Friday 13th July 2018 in East and West London, Surrey.  But mainly in IBIZA.

Even though I have been away this week, I didn’t want to break tradition and not post something.

But if I am honest, it’s been very tough to pull myself away from the pool, the beach and just enjoying doing nothing to write anything that might be considered interesting (which if you have read this before you will know that doesn’t happen often).  Therefore I will write and post lots of pictures next week about this lovely time away.

I need to go as SAZ and Aunty H and I are trying to pack the pool brick by brick into our luggage, while mum and Tim suck all the Spanish water into Anoodles and Jbombs cases.  We just don’t want to leave it behind.

Please come back next week for a proper Ibiza special (let’s face it, nothing interesting will happen back in London so I need content).

Big thanks this week to SAZ, Tim, Aunty H, Mum, Anoodle and JBomb.

 

This week I have mainly watched the following……

Bottom, (S1, ep 1 to ep 6)(S2, ep 1 to ep 6)(S3 ep 1 to 6).

Can’t Cope, Won’t Cope, (S2, ep 3).

Friends, (S1, ep 17 to ep 19).

Hidden (2011, TV mini series), (S1, ep 1).

How Do They Do That, (S9, ep 19 & ep 20).

Monty Python Live At The Hollywood Bowl, (1982).

Red Dwarf, (S5, ep 1 to ep 6)(S6, ep 1 to ep 6)(S7, ep 1 to ep 8)(S8, ep 1 to ep 8).

The Crystal Maze, (S8/S4, ep 5, TX: 06/07/18).

 

This week I have mainly listened to……..

Brian Gitten and Friends, (ep 40, 12/07/18).

Griefcast, (ep 45, 11/07/18).

In Poor Taste, (ep 99, 08/07/18).

LBC, Mystery Hour, (12/07/18).

LBC, Nick Abbot, (06/07, 07/07, 13/07/18).

NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast, (ep 52, 06/07/18)(Bday ep, 06/07/18).

NASA: In Silicon Valley, (ep 98, 06/07/18).

Quick Question, (S2 Tease, 10/07/18).

Skeptoid, (Bonus 06/07/18)(ep 631, 10/07/18).

Soundtracking With Edith Bowman, (ep 96, 06/07/18).

TalkRADIO: Iain Lee (Highlights), (05/07, 07/07, 09/07, 10/07, 11/07/18).

The Rabbit Hole, (Bonus 11/07/18).

True Crime Finland, (ep 1, 27/07/17)(ep 24, 29/06/18).

As well as Morrissey, The Communards, All Saints, Simian Moble Disco, White FM 103.7

More shiz next week.