Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East & West London and Essex (The NEXT Chapter).
Week 217 Saturday 11th until Friday 17th August 2018.
When the Olympics arrived in London 2012, I was surprised that queuing wasn’t added as a demonstration sport. This is because queuing is something that people in the UK are good at. Every day you see parents telling there sprogs to wait their turn to hand over a sticky half eaten packet of sweets, or a scrunched up magazine that a few minutes before had a badly produced toy stuck to the cover. Most of the time the magazine won’t even be opened, but hopefully it will end up in a recycling bin, so in the future it might have a more useful existence as something else.
“This place is full of oddity’s i would buy if i had some dosh”.
Back to queuing. Look around the capital you will see lines of bored people standing behind each other, all of them wishing they were somewhere else. Some people try to use the power of the mind to make the queue move faster and then look surprised when it doesn’t work (just me then). Others will eye up a person ahead wondering if the front is as nice as the behind. When the person there ogling looks round, they quickly return there gaze to the small electronic device in there hand pretending they are really popular on social network, while hoping that the person didn’t notice them staring (Just me again).
“Those damn papps get everywhere”.
But times are changing; queuing is not the art it used to be. Especially on public transport!
“I like the unusual”.
When travelling on the “Ginger line” (A term used with affection because I am a big ginger lover) there are readers that plastic “top up” tickets (Oyster cards) need to touch in order for the appropriate price to be charged. Around these there is no such thing as queuing, what happens can only be described as a scrum (at least in Rugby there are rules). Hand’s fight from every direction all trying to touch a plastic wallets, credit cards on the small pad. With every train that arrives, a race starts as soon as the doors open as people rush to get to the reader first. There are still one or two old fashioned people like me who queue, shuffling forward a centimetre at a time to validate their pass. I am just glad the ticket machine is not sentient, because I can imagine it being terrified while it tries to escape through the forest of legs (Just me then).
“Thats a very expensive and large Penny. Loved the group of Dragons, who called themselves RAC’s gang”.
This is one example of where queuing has become extinct. And it’s spreading!
“The sign outside the loos and wasn’t for sale, the food wasn’t in the loo honest”.
Waiting for a bus used to be a gentle pursuit with people standing behind each other, the person at the front by the bus stop would stick out there arm when the large red vehicle approached. It’s now unclear who is waiting for a bus and who is waiting for friends to arrive and block the bus stop with a car while they greet each for a couple of minutes before racing off. Other people sit at bus stop’s to make a call or just watch the world go by, because they don’t seem to have anything better to do. The actual people waiting for the bus stand wherever they want, many of them appear as if from thin air all waving the bus down as it approaches. If i was the driver and saw this mass of hands, i would hit the gas and see how fast a double decker can really travel. Once the doors open everyone pushes and shoves there way on board. Maybe I’m just old and long for the days of one person moving at a time. What the hordes of people fighting to get on board (this also happens on trains and tubes) don’t realise is this lack of order just delays them from getting to their destination!
“A few of the locals in Battlesbridge, who are always welcoming”.
I was in Canada in the late 80s travelling on The Trans Canadian Railway. I approached a group of people asking if this was the queue to buy food. The blank looks on the face of the very nice Canadians was priceless. I was firmly put in my place, they didn’t queue they lined up.
“was very tempted for £15”.
Queuing really used to be an art, however these days it’s every person for themselves.
And Now For Something Completely Different……
“We travelled light”. The show was in full swing when we arrived”.
Last weekend my friend “Calamity” and I visited the Southbank “River Stage” outside The National Theatre for the third year running. Surprisingly the live music during the afternoon and the screening of a play recorded from the stage of The National Theatre in the evening is free. This year was the first when the weather was against us, we took coats because we were determined to enjoy the show and a little rain was not going to stop us. When the rain did fall what was nice was that the event organisers handed out plastic poncho allowing the audience to continue enjoy the show.
“Plenty of people got up, don’t worry i stayed seated because i was glued to the chair”.
This made me think of when “Calamity” and I saw “Babe” at Regent Park Open Air Theatre a number of years ago. The show continued when the heavens opened, and the play only stopped because it became unsafe for the cast to continue. Don’t worry we returned the next day and saw the entire show that time.
“Calamity commentating at a new Olympic demonstration sport”.
This is another thing that people in the UK do well. We don’t allow the weather to ruin our enjoyment of an open air event. There is a classic image that springs to mind of a family on holiday on in the 1950s eating ice cream, sitting in deckchairs on the beach on a gloomy day. Maybe that could become a demonstration sport if the Olympics ever return to the UK, it’s definitely one that we would win not have had to train for, were all good at it.
“It was not as messy as it looks, honest”.
A couple of coincidences involving my friend’s car. When I started the engine for the first drive a couple of weeks ago “Shed Seven, Going for Gold” was playing on the radio. I turned on the engine last weekend the same song was playing. As we reached our location I was singing (yes I call it singing) to “Oasis, Whatever”. Three to four hrs later when I started the engine that same track was playing, and yes I continued to sing.
What are the chances of this happening? Or has “Absolute Radio” really only got a couple of tracks to play.
“End of a wet but fun evening”.
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“Writing this shiz trying not to be detracted by Rachel and Monica”.
My Mid Life Crisis Conts……
This week I have mainly been watching:
“Chucklevision”, (S21, ep 1). “Click”, (TX: 11/08/18). “Friends”, (S3, ep 24 to ep 25)(S4, ep 1 to ep 24). “Hidden Britain By Drone”, (S2, ep 2, TX: 13/08/18). “MARVEL’s: Daredevil”, (S2, ep 12 to ep 13). “MARVEL’s: Luke Cage”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 13). “Mechanical Monsters”, (TX: 08/08/18). “Sylvia Plath: Inside The Bell Jar”, (TX: 11/08/18). “The Crystal Maze”, (S5, ep x, TX: xx/08/17). “The Last Leg”, (S14, ep 8, TX: 10/08/18). “The Matrix”, (1999). “The Real Marigold Hotel”, (S3, ep 3, TX: 15/08/18). “The Sky At Night”, (TX: 10/08/18). “Train Surfing Wars: A Matter Of Life And Death”, (TX: 11/08/18).
This week i saw live at the River Stage:
“Roger Chinety And The Ballroom Dance Band”, “The Shirt Tail Stompers”, “Follies”, (performed and recorded on 16/11/17)
This week I have mainly been listening to:
“Brian Gittens And Friends”, (ep 42, 14/08/18). “Chasing Earhart“, (ep 55, 10/08/18). “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (09/08/18). “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (09/08, 14/08, 15/08/18). “In Poor Taste”, (ep xx, xx/10/16). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (11/08/18). “NASA: Gravity Assist”, (15/08/18). “Quick Question”, (S2, ep 4(ep 18), 13/08/18). “Skeptiod”, (ep 636, 14/0x/18). “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 101, 10/08/18). “Strange Times”, (ep 270, 10/08/18)(ep 271, 11/08/18). “The Aggy Fox Podcast”, (ep 33, 06/08/18)(ep 34, 14/08/18). “The Angelos And Barry Podcast”, (11/08/18). “The Bad Day”, (ep 1 to ep 3, 08/02/18). “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 60, 17/08/18). “Morrissey”, “k.d Lang”, “Shed Seven”, “Oasis”, “Nirvana”, “Bombay Bicycle Club”, “The Communards”, “Tiffany”, “Stevie Wonder”, “P.J Harvey”.