Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East and West London & Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).
Week 216 Saturday 4th until Friday 10th August 2018.
It’s been a week of “firsts”. My first memory is drumming on toys and kitchen containers. The first person I called a friend can still be pictured in my mind, I remember their name, where they lived but have no idea what happened once there family moved during the mid 70s. Over the years I have wondered what happened to that friend and others I was close to when young. Searches on-line haven’t produced results, I wonder if they remember me as I do them.
And now this week’s “first”, first.
“After this you might find me in the kitchen more”.
I’m not a cook, but this week I wore a pinny and made sweet potato chips for the first time. If I am being completely transparent the prep was done by my friend, all I did was to jiggle them around to stop them burning. This is of course a vital job helping to make them the best sweet potato chips around. I was rightly proud.
“Do you want them open or wrapped”.
The next “first”.
I drove my friend’s car (I am allowed, if you were wondering) on what was his maiden journey to a large shopping centre. I felt like “Parker” to my friends “Lady Penelope”, I know my place. Looking forward to more trips, even if it’s to the shops.
“Calamity and Arty”.
And now the most impressive “first” (cue fanfare) of the week !!!
“This fellow travelled with me on the tube for a couple of stops, i did asked if he had an valid Oyster”.
London has been until a couple of days ago as hot as hell. Because I am a caring individual I suggested that I could “water the plants “. Picture the scene, it’s a hot early summers evening, I’m wearing shorts and vest top, using a couple of large recycled bottles filled with refreshing H2O. As I feed the plants my friend pops out of the house to do something to the car. At that moment a welcomed breeze flicked my hair and slamming the front door. We stopped what we were doing and looked at each other in horror!
“Someone got out of bed the wrong side”.
Calamity tried the door which of course wouldn’t open; because I hadn’t put the latch on. This is what happens every time I try to be “helpful, something goes wrong. Luckily the kitchen door was open, but this was the other side of a fence. At that moment I morphed into an old lardy female version of Tom Cruise and channelled my inner “Mission Impossible” springing into action. After a moment to assess the situation I commandeered the neighbour’s largest wheelie bin and climbed on top, struggled over the fence and gate balancing on a thin beam of wood before jumping to the ground out of sight.
“A fave chip shop closed for summer!!!!! Oh we wont mention the small flies on the bottom of the sign”.
Cut to the end of a long boring story. The fence didn’t collapse, the kitchen door was still open and because I am a nice person my friend was let back into her own house. If you’re concerned about the wheelie bin, the lid suffered only minor damage due to the extreme weight placed on top of it, but this will never be detected, hopefully!
What have I learnt from this incident? When attempting to be helpful don’t just assume. If going outside put the latch on or ensure that the doormat is in the way of a closing door.
“Someone came home. I couldn’t leave him”.
And, a final “first”!
Sitting on a slow train at the end of another hot day, the man next to me opened a drink which exploded over him and spayed me. That’s the first time in a long time I have been squirted by a man!!!
And Now For Something Completely Different……
At my 1 to 1 this week I was congratulated on the fact that I had been late once in many months. Of course being late for work is never good, but my journey is a long one which can involve various different trains. Because I don’t want to be late, I leave a lot earlier than I actually need to. This means I normally spend time in a café near work or walking by the Thames taking time to relax before the madness of the day begins.
“I saw this Caterpillar having a poo”.
That next morning, tubes, buses and trains all seemed to be against me. Yes you guessed correctly, I was very late. It took me as longer to travel across the capital than it did recently to fly to Ibiza. Of course I realise I shouldn’t complain because there are people who really have tough lives and my first world problem is nothing to really moan about. I am very lucky to be born in this country and city when I was. However a job nearer home would really help, last weekend I applied for so many jobs, fingers crossed someone will want me and help make life a little easier.
“Who forgot to brush there hair the night before”.
I have mentioned this before, but on difficult days I have to remember why I am subjecting myself to this, so I can return to Tofo in Mozambique in early 2019.
Rant over, for now.
“Trying to write this shiz, but being distracted by creamy things”.
My Mid Life Crisis Conts……
This week I have mainly been watching:
“Australia With Simon Reeves”, (S1, ep 1, TX: 19/05/13). “Click”, (TX: 04/08/18). “Friends”, (S2, ep 17 to ep 24)(S3, ep 1 to ep 23). “Hidden Britain By Drone”, (S2, ep 1, TX:05/08/18). “Horizon 2018:5, Jupiter Revealed”, (TX: 07/08/18). “Humans”, (S3, ep 8). “Keeping Faith”, (S1, ep 1). “MARVEL’s: Daredevil”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 13)(S2, ep 1 to ep 11). “The Crystal Maze”, (S5, ep 3, TX: 03/08/17)(ep 4, TX: 10/08/18). “The Last Leg”, (S14, ep 7, TX: 03/08/18). “The Real Marigold Hotel”, (S3, ep 2, TX: 08/08/18).
This week I have mainly been listening to:
“Anti Social Show”, (ep 56, 10/08/18). “BBFC”, (ep 1, 31/07/12)(ep 5, 31/07/12). “Chasing Earhart“, (ep 53, 05/08/18). “Crossing Continents: Euthanasia – Aurelia’s Story (BBC R4)”, (TX 09/08/18). “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (06/08/18). “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (06/08, 07/08, 08/08/18). “In Poor Taste”, (ep 51, 17/10/16). “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (09/08/18). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (04/08, 05/08, 06/08, 10/08/18). “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 57, 10/08/18). “NASA: In Silicon Valley”, (ep 54, 10/08/17)(ep 100, 20/07/18). “Skeptiod”, (ep 608, 31/01/18)(ep 614, 13/03/18)(ep 635, 07/08/18). “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 100, 08/08/18). “Strange Times”, (ep 269, 04/08/18). “The Aggy Fox Podcast”, (ep 32, 06/08/18). “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 59, 09/08/18). “Morrissey”, “Miles Kane”, “Supergrass”, “Gaz Coombes”, “The Black Keys”, “Elton John”, “Ash”, “Suede”, Kasabian”, Madonna”.