Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East London & Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 141 Saturday 25^th February 2017 until Friday 3^rd March 2017.

Los Angeles last Sunday night might have been the place for the glitz and glamour because of the 2017 Oscars (™ AMPAS).  However the place to see real talent was a small comedy club The Bill Murray in North London.  Why was I there I hear you ask………… thank you for asking.

  Jesse enjoyed his 3rd Bday party.

This was the location of the 3rd Iain and Kath’s Performance Ring.  Hosted by Iain Lee who currently presents a phone-in show unlike any other (© Iain Lee) on talkRADIO Monday to Friday 10pm to 1am, and his producer Katherine Boyle.  This was probably the friendliest environment in which to try stand-up in front of 100 people who have paid cash expecting to be entertained.  The reason this was such a joyful place is because 99.9% of the audience are listeners to the show.  MOZ was among the few people in the venue who were not listener; she arrived just before the show started rushing through London in the rain hoping to be entertained.

  Aunty MOZ modelling her party outfit.

Most of the acts particularly me haven’t got a lot of experience.  I don’t know what this says about me but standing in front of about 200 people didn’t faze me at all.  Hand me a mobile phone and ask me to speak I’ll start to stutter, sweat and wish that a sink hole would open up beneath underneath me.  Holding the microphone while taking it off the stand without hitting my face, and not tripping over the cable was a good start to the set.  I like to think I am a born show off and this was the perfect opportunity to just let everything out and not care.

  Iain and Kath on stage.

During the 480 seconds that I tried to be funny most of the eyes in the room were on me, I say most because MOZ was probably fast asleep dribbling on another friend Penny’s shoulder. I’m not qualified to talk about Brexit or Trump all I can do is take the P out of myself, tell stories about my life and experiences.  I did dry a couple of times, there were things that I wanted to say but they never made it to my lips.  For those few minutes my brain was on lock down and only fed my mouth with a few things, there was so much more I wanted to say but that mass of neurons in my skull wasn’t making things easy for me.

  Some unfunny old bag putting everyone to sleep.

Next time I need to be more rehearsed, because I really wasn’t prepared.  In the future I might make notes and have the note book with me on stage not just as a prompt but a prop.  I loved the opportunity to stand on a small stage in front of 300 with fingers crossed hoping that someone might find something funny.  I have too many regrets in life, but at least I can now cross this off my bucket list.

  The wonderful “Jim The Dancer”, who ended Performance Ring 3.

LA Sunday night might have had more glamorous people than you can shake a muddy stick at, but were they actually entertained.  The audience at the Bill Murray walked away with a smile on their face and a song in there heart.  LA might have had Ryan Reynolds but we had “Jim the Dancer”, who was the highlight of the show it was a thrill to see him live on stage and wonderful to chat to him afterwards.  I am really looking forward to having another go with an audience who may not be as friendly as the one that Sunday night.

 Back at the party, Uncle Tim being taught a lession by Nico and Leo

And now for something completely different.  

 Writing this shiz.

During the pre-digital age when travelling on the tube people used to look over another passengers shoulder trying to read there book or newspaper.  In the 21st century people travel looking at a tablet or laptop but you still have others leaning over trying to read or watch what the other person is enjoying.  This happened to me a couple of times this week, at times like this I get a kick out of messing about with the screen interrupting the show, maybe even changing the programme.  There are plenty of free newspapers scattered around the carriage, why can’t they pick one up and read about all the doom and gloom in the world instead of disturbing me. 

In Other News… 

There seem to be a lot of skateboards around at the moment, has the age of the scooters ended.

Nature highlight of the week.  Watching a field mouse in the rain during my break at work, jumping from a bin into a bush and back.

 Leo wouldn’t wear the silly hat, sensible boy.

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  “Catastrophe”, (S1, ep 1 & ep 2).  “Cradle To Grave”, (S1, ep 3).  “Inside No 9”, (S3, ep 3).  “Not Going Out”, (S8, ep 6).  “Paw Patrol”, (S1, ep 44).  “Peter Kay’s Car Share”, (S1, ep 2 & 3).  “Special Forces: Ultimate Hell Week”, (S2, ep 5).  “Stacey Dooley Investigates: Young Sex For Sale In Japan”. “Taboo”, (ep 8).  “The Graham Norton Show”, (S20, ep XX).  “The Last Leg”, (S10, ep 5).  “The Trouble With Dad”,  “This Country”, (ep 3).  

This week I saw live: “Iain And Kath’s Performance Ring 3”, (26/02/16)                   

This week I have mainly been listening to:  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (27/02, 28/02/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (24/02, 27/02, 28/02/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Live)”, (24/02, 27/02, 28/02, 01/03/17).  ”LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (02/03/17).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (25/02/17).  “Richard Herring’s Leicester Square Theatre Podcast”, (ep 120, 02/11/16).  “Scroobius Pip, Distraction Pieces”, (ep 4, 05/11/14) (ep 22, 05/03/15) (ep 36, 20/05/15) (ep 139, 01/03/17).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 30, 25/02/17).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (02/03/17).  “These People Podcast”, (ep 15, 25/02/17).  “Morrissey”, “The Black Keys”,  “Pulp”,  “Kings Of Leon”,  “INXS”,  ”Simple Minds”, “CHiPs Theme”, “Kylie”, “James Blunt”, “P.J Harvey”.    

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East & North West London & Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 140 Saturday 18^thFebruary 2017 until Friday 24^thFebruary 2017.

I like a joke, I love surreal humour, in fact I can and do laugh at the strangest of things.  There are times when I laugh like a drain while everyone else is thinking “eh”.  If you have read this shiz before you will know I am well in to my Mid-Crisis, however I can still become childlike and laugh at the stupidest of things.  Shamefully I have laughed at others when something is clearly not funny for them, which is not clever I realise.  I am firm believer in Karma, keep reading.

   Can you guess where i was.

Recently I have been doing a little acting, supporting artist work.  Yes I have become a lovey darling type person flouncing around looking for “my motivation“.  Admittedly most of what I have done since September is walking around, sitting in the background pretending to have a conversation or eat (yes pretending to eat the same meal all day).  None of this can really be called acting, but once or twice I have had to learn a passage of script and actually be directed by the director.

  Hanging around at on my own.

I have wanted to act for a long time, but I never thought a person like me (old, fat and Trans) could.  In the past I have worked behind the scenes in TV and theatre but secretly I wanted to be out In front.  My mum will tell you, I am a born show off.

 This was how i felt after my visit to North West London.

When my circumstances changed last year I decided to have a go, not caring what anyone thought and guess what I enjoyed it.  However because I now work evenings (no not that type of job) I feel it’s going to be tough to applying for castings.  The acting world will have to do without me for a while; my career has had to be put on the back burner temporarily.

  A couple of “old bangers”.

Before I retire there was one last filming commitment that I wanted to complete because it was on a Saturday morning.  This acting job was only a couple of scenes, but I had lines to learn and stage directions to memorise.  On the day I travelled across the capital early until I reached the location, a school because my role was a teacher.  When I arrived the school was totally quiet.  Normally I would have expected to see a hire van or two, while people rush around with lights, camera equipment and props.  Rolls of multi coloured electrical tape hanging from industrial bum bags bouncing about is a common site. People standing looking important, studying clipboards while drinking hot coffee is the norm.  On this occasion there was nothing. I checked every exit and still didn’t see anyone.  I hear you shout “why didn’t you call the director” I didn’t have a number which should have rung alarm bells, she had mine.

 Happy 3rd Bday to Jesse my nephew, looking forward to the party.

Every time a vehicle passed I wondered if this was the crew, as it drove away I imagined a group of people chuckling while staring in the rear view mirror at the lonely fool standing on the pavement.

 Cagney and Lacey (the reboot) make there first arrest.

Deep inside I was hoping that this would turn out to be a Candid Camera style stunt.  With a presenter and film crew appearing out of the bushes.  I wouldn’t have minded if Noel Edmonds skipped over the road excitedly to hand me a Goctha.  If Jeremy Beadle had still been alive this would have been worthy of his cunning mind.  No there was no one but me standing on the street feeling like a grade A plonker.

 A proud Grandma and Aunty Helen.

Karma had caught up with me, in future I better not laugh at others when they trip or something happens which is clearly not a laughing for them.  Karma has well and truly been served on me that Saturday morning.

 “Ouch”.

And now for something completely different.  

Tofo the little place I call paradise beside the Indian Ocean was last week hit by a devastating cyclone named Dineo.  There has been a lot of damage; many people including friends have lost their homes.  This tiny part of Mozambique will never be mentioned in the press, but these are good hardworking people with families who need help.  If you would like to make a donation then please contact me on misfitscully@icloud.com and I will be able to put you in contact with friends who are raising money to help those in need.

 Writing this Shiz, the shade kept moving.

In Other News… 

 Showing ID for Ribena, that’s a way to stop teeth rotting i suppose.

Went to a NHS walk in centre as I have been coughing for a month.  When the nurse said she wanted to listen to my chest, all I was concerned about was “why didn’t I wear a nicer looking bra“.

What has happened to the “youth of today”.  I heard a young indie goth kid say confusingly to a friend “who is Depeche Mode”.  This was because they were being played around Forbidden planet as I browsed.  I was appalled, I thought she should be made to hang up her black clothes, bracelets and DM boots and start listening to Little Mix instead.

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  “Bin Laden: Shoot To Kill”.  “Comic Roots: Kenneth Williams”, (TX 02/09/1983).  “Cradle To Grave”, (S1, ep 1 & 2).  “ET The Extra-Terrestrial”, (1982).  “Easter Island Mysteries Of A Lost World”.  “Inside No 9”, (S3, ep 2).  “John Richardson: How To Survive The End Of The World”.  “Lebanon Stories Gay, Trans And Illegal”.  “My Wife And Kid”, (S3, ep 1 to 3).  “Not Going Out”, (S8, ep 5).  “Peter Kay’s Car Share”, (S1, ep 1).  “Prehistoric Megabeasts: Croc vs Snake”.  “SS-GB”, (S1, ep 1).  “Special Forces: Ultimate Hell Week”, (S2, ep 4).  “Taboo”, (ep 6 & 7).  “The Drug trial: Emergency At The Hospital”.  “The Graham Norton Show”, (S20, ep 18 & ep 19).  “The Last Leg”, (S10, ep 4).  “The Real Marigold Hotel”, (S2, ep 2).  “This Country”, (ep 3).                      

This week I have mainly been listening to:  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (21/02, 22/02, 23/02 x2/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Short, Bonus)”, (21/02/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (17/02, 20/02, 21/02, 22/02, 23/02/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Live)”, (17/02, 20/02, 21/02, 22/02, 23/02/17).  ”LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (22/02/17).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (17/02, 18/02, 24/02/17).  “Scroobius Pip, Distraction Pieces”, (ep 3,29/10/14) (ep 15,21/01/15) (ep 16,28/01/15) (ep 93,12/04/16) (ep 138,22/02/17).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 29,17/02/17).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (22/02/17).  “These People Podcast”, (ep 14,18/02/17).  “Morrissey”, “Suede”,  “The Foo Fighters”,  “The Strokes”,  “Radiohead”,  ”Imagine Dragons”, “Pulp”, “The Beverley Sisters”, “The Communards”, “Gorillaz”, “Viola beach”.   

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East & Central London (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 139Saturday 11^thFebruary 2017 until Friday 17^thFebruary 2017.

This week I restarted being a useful member of society; I’m working and paying tax.  I’m back at a large shop that I worked for over Crimbo.  I might not know all the names but everyone is so welcoming (including a couple of people who were a little grumpy previously). Of course the real reason everyone might be happy is that there is a new mugg to clean up spillages in isle 3.  Small things give me pleasure such as hearing the grating metal on metal sound of the large scissor lift that can carry 2500 kg go up and down.

 Dana “Two pairs of tights” signed in for work.

I turned up on Monday expecting to have to redo the induction day which i did in December.  Too me this felt like a total waste of time but there paying me so I will sit and watch videos telling me how not to lift things, how alcohol shouldn’t be sold to dogs and knives to squirrels or something like.  Once the training started the group I was amongst were hit with a bombshell, one that produced mixed emotions.  The managers had realised that it was silly for us to be stuck in a boardroom on the 4th floor when we could be on the ground floor stacking shelves or cleaning up marmalade explosions.  When I realised I was going to be set free with the public so quickly I suddenly wanted to spend the rest of the day watching instructional videos about angry cats wanting Deli refunds.

   Moira enjoying art at the Tate.

At Crimbo I remember the shop felt chilly, partly because I was working nights and because I spent a lot of time in the freezer sections.  This week I also didn’t have a uniform so I made the decision to wear two pairs of thick tights.  The result of this was my legs were warm, if a little stiff due to the thickness of the material.  But worse there was slippage (I’m sure this is a technical term) between the two garments, the outer pair kept trying to make their way down the inner pair.  If you’re not a regular tights wearer then you won’t know how annoying it is when what you’re wearing is slowly slipping down your thighs. All throughout the rest of the shift I was having to stop and hoick the Lycra ™ over my ample ass.

   Is it Art.

Being a shop drone is not well paid, in fact for my age it’s pitiful.  As I have said I like the people with but it’s a tough job, standing all the time, lifting, pushing and of course answering silly questions about the size of eggs.  I have come to the painful conclusion that I might have to become an office drone again sitting on my large arse all day.  By doing this I could earn just over double what the shop is paying.  I’ll hate doing the job, but unlike most of the others I will only be there for a short period of time.  I have to tell myself to grow some balls and just get on with it.

  My fave art at the Tate, found on back of the loo door.

I admit I’m only doing this to make money (actually who doesn’t work to make money, what a stupid thing to say) so I can return to that paradise by the Indian Ocean I miss so much.  Being an office lackey temporarily will get me there quicker than working in the shop floor stacking shelves or cleaning spillages on the floor.  Where do I apply….

   Ive never been a Shakingspear fan, but this is impressive.

And now for something completely different. 

  I’ll have to get a pic of me upside down next time.

Last weekend MOZ and I went for our third session of Ariel yoga.  I find hanging upside with my legs wrapped around parachute material a couple of feet above the ground really exciting, even exhilarating.  I’m not very competitive normally, but during these sessions I WANT to be the last person upside down.  I walk away feeling a foot taller with all my joints swinging loosly in the breeze, the world always feels better after my visits to Whitechapel.

In Other News… 

Travelling up an escalator on the 14th February, I overheard a woman behind me telling a friend that her skirt had ridden up slightly under her coat.  She said “I almost gave that man in front of me an early valentine’s surprise”.

  Really enjoyed being in the company of Angelos and Barry a couple of “cockamamie sons of bitches”.

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  “Buffy The Vampire Slayer”, (S3, ep 11 to 13).   “Click”, (TX 11/02/17).  “Funny Valentine,  Bill Bailey (Love Song),  Katy Wix (Jean – Pierre),  Limmy (A Wee Video! For The Lassies!),  Matt Berry (Wild Love),  Modern Toss (Lady And The Fly),  Nick Helm (Elephant),  Romesh Ranganathan (Rom Com),  Sara Pascoe (Music Lovers) ”.  “Horizon: Truth About Meteors: A Horizon Special”, (2012/13, ep 7).  “James May At The Edge Of Space”.  “Not Going Out”, (S8, ep 4).  “Some Like It Hot”, (1959).  “Special Forces: Ultimate Hell Week”, (S2, ep 3).  “Taboo”, (ep 5).  “Terry Pratchatt- Back in Black”.  “The Fake News Show”.  “The Graham Norton Show”, (S20, ep 17).  “The Grand Tour”, (S1, ep 4 & 5).  “The Last Leg”, (S10, ep 3).  “The Real Marigold Hotel”, (S2, ep 1).  “The Sky At Night”, (ep 771).  “This Country”, (ep 2).  “Who Do You Think You Are: Warwick Davis”, (S13, ep 8). 

This week I saw live:  “Angelos & Barry: The New Power Generation”.                    

This week I have mainly been listening to:  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (10/02, 15/02/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (10/02, 13/02, 14/02, 15/02/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Live)”, (10/02, 13/02, 14/02, 15/02, 16/02 (james maxx).  “Iain Lee vs Radio Podcast”, (ep 1,13/06/15) (ep 2,14/06/15) (ep 3,16/06/15) (ep 4,18/06/15) (ep 5,19/06/15) (ep 6,22/06/15) (ep 7b & 7a,22/06/15) (ep 8,01/07/15) (ep 9,04/07/15) (ep 10,09/07/15).  ”LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (16/02/17).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (11/02/17).  “Scroobius Pip, Distraction Pieces”, (ep 70, 02/12/15) (ep 109, 09/08/16) (ep 112, 24/08/16) (ep 113, pt1 & pt2 31/08/16) (ep 137, 15/02/17).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 28, 10/02/17).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (16/02/17).  “The Scott Balcony And Iain Lee Podcast”, (ep 1, 04/01/16) (ep 2, 05/01/16).  “Morrissey”, “Nirvana”,  “Rag n Bone Man”,  “Belinda Carlisle”,  “The XX”,  ”Kula Shaker”, “Stereophonics”, “Fun Loving Criminals”, “M.I.A”, “Sleeper”, “Ed Sheeran”, “Wheatus”.   

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East London, Camden & Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 138 Saturday 4^th February 2017 until Friday 10^th February 2017.

A good friend said last week that the Blog was and I quote “the best friggin ever”.  Rogers you’re going to want a refund after reading this week, please send me a copy of your receipt.

 Writing this shiz.

I listen to a lot of podcast I think there the future of audio broadcasting.  If you look at the various podcast providers you will be able to listen to a recording on every subject under the sun (I should say for legal reasons I don’t know for definite that there are pods about everything, but if someone can think it then I imagine someone’s talking about it).  Look through the podcast charts (yes there is such a thing) and you will see a lot of professional radio shows that release edited versions or in some cases the full programme as a pod.  But a huge number of productions are recorded and produced by people like you and me, ordinary people.

 The mic is big and ugly,but works.

Over Crimbum I had an idea; yes I had another one of my so called creative spark that never comes to fruition.  I admit I am all mouth and no trousers, what I mean is I have ideas all the time but nothing ever ferments into a finished product.  This went round and round my head, if others can produce a pod then surely I can.

   The CAA (Club for Acts and Artistes)

During January I had a lot of time to think, to plan.  I approached a couple of celebrities who agreed to be interviewed this was the start of the idea sprouting shoots.  I bought a microphone which if I’m honest is ugly and large, but it works well.  How do I know this, I hear you ask.  This week I went into central London and met up with comedian, TV, theatre, radio actor, writer and Doctor Who podcaster Toby Hadoke.  We agreed to meet outside a private members club for actors and artists; I stood on the pavement freezing my bits off getting strange looks from passing traffic wardens and other people going about their evening.

   The lovely Mr Toby Hadoke, who i interviewed.

I know Toby’s work and am a fan but of course we had never met, so when a friendly smiling face appeared in the doorway I knew there was no reason to be nervous.  Toby got the drinks (I did buy a round later fact fans) while I set up the large mic and computer.  We spent the next hour and a half just chatting about his life and career, there are things that he said which I felt was very personal and I’ll have to decide if I should use.  There was only one really nice story he asked if I wouldn’t cut that referenced a very famous British comedian.

  Anna on the tube.

The next day I was actually scared to listen to the material partly because I was concerned that maybe it hadn’t recorded or the background noise in the small bar was too loud.  I didn’t need to worry as the background added atmosphere to the recording.  I didn’t have structured questions, the recording is a conversation going from one subject to any other, I’m no Michael Parkinson and think it’s best to talk to each other.  I did have a few notes but I found I didn’t really need to look at them which hopefully will come across in the recording.  All I need to do now is learn to edit and release the pod on to the world.  Fingers crossed it works and that someone will want to listen to this.  This creative shoot is growing and growing, I’ll look after it and nurture it and hope it flowers in to a beautiful bloom and not a weed.

  A lovely coffee diversion in Camden.  And “Klaatu Barada Nikto” you need to know your sci-fi for that.

And now for something completely different. 

   Horsing around in Camden, which is trying to remain positive.

I spent a lovely Friday afternoon wondering around Camden while small flakes of snow fluttering down with the lovely Anna.  Anna is a hugely talented actress; musician, prop maker an all-round creative type who made me feel that I was not a total waste of space.

 Opps, the Jbomb parked on a yellow line.

In Other News… 

  Poor MOZ after her extraction, shes a brave lady.

Visited Guys & St Thomas hospital with MOZ as she needed to have a tooth out.  While waiting I heard an old woman speak to the reception saying that she had been there the week before “but she didn’t want to teach them to suck eggs”, this did make me chuckle.  I wonder where she got her dental qualifications from.

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  “60 Days In Jail”, (ep 12).  “British History Biggest Fibs With Lucy Worsley”, (ep 3).  “Buffy The Vampire Slayer”, (S3, ep 7 to 10).  “Chewing Gum”, (S2, ep 5 & 6).  “Click”, (TX 04/02/17).  “Click: Space Special”, (TX 28/01/17).  “Columbia Space Shuttle Disaster: Nova Documentary (BBC)”.  “Italy’s Invisible Cities”, (ep 1 to 3).  “Not Going Out”, (S8, ep 3).  “Secrets of Bones”, (ep 6).  “Special Forces: Ultimate Hell Week”, (S2, ep 2).  “Superman”, (1978).  “Taboo”, (ep 4).  “The Graham Norton Show”, (S20, ep 16).  “The Last Kingdom”, (S1, ep 6 to 8).  “The Last Leg”, (S10, ep 2).  “This Country”, (ep 1).  “Timeshift: Flights Of Fancy, Pigeons And The British”, (S16, ep 5).                    

This week I have mainly been listening to:  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (09/02/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (02/02, 03/02, 06/02, 07/02, 08/02, 09/02).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Live)”, (03/02, 06/02, 07/02/17).  ”LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (09/02/17).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (03/02, 04/02, 10/02/17).  “Scroobius Pip, Distraction Pieces”, (ep 23, 11/03/15) (ep 24, 12/03/15) (ep 28, 26/03/15) (ep 30, 08/04/15) (ep 35: pt 1, pt 2, 13/05/15) (ep 136, 08/02/17).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 27, 03/02/17).  “The Angelos And Barry Podcast”, (ep 74, 04/02/17).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (09/02/17).  “Toby Hadoke’s Who’s Round”, (ep 177, ep 178, 06/16) (ep 179 to ep 182, 07/16).  “Morrissey”, “Elbow”,  “Chas n Dave”,  “The Beach Boys”, ”The XX”, “The Verve”, “The Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band”, “All Saints”, “M.I.A”, “Santigold”, McAlmond And Butler”.   

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East London & Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 137 Saturday 28^th January 2017 until Friday 3^rd February 2017.

I spent the start of this week in Surrey where it just rained and rained, I walked around feeling damp starting to suffer from foot rot, making splish splash sounds every time I take a step.  I might suggest to my sister that she build an ark in the garden.

  The high street had not been washed away by days of rain at this point.

I’m still not feeling well, when I start coughing I can cough for quite a long time.  There are times when I sound like a deer during rutting season, I open my mouth and this horrible guttural sound emerges.  Feeling a little low I decided to “live life” and go see T2 Trainspotting, the original film is very special to me, what an amazing soundtrack.  I was concerned about another after 20 years did the world need a new slice of Renton and Co.

  Should i be worried that i got three skulls in my change.

Going to the cinema is such a joyful experience, but this time I felt a little stressed due to this cough.  I say this as I find it annoying if people are disruptive during a screening.  There are 3 different degrees of cinema annoyance in my opinion.  The worst offenders I call a Category A, who are people who find that they have to carry on that extremely important phone call or worse there conversation with the friend sitting next to them.  Category B offenders are people who eat noisily, popcorn opening sweets or sucking hard on a drink.  And finally the Category C people who are ill and cough.

  Whats better than seeing a film in a big room on a large screen.

It was about 30 to 40 mins into the film which when I started to feel myself get hot and bothered.  The coughing started and decided to carry on trying to drown out the excellent foot tapping leg shaking soundtrack.  This screening was just after noon, my thinking was that surly there won’t be many other saddo wanting to sit in a large dark room.  I was wrong, I hadn’t factored in the continual rain so there were a lot more patrons than I expected. Sitting there coughing I couldn’t concentrate on what Begbie and friends we’re doing or saying.  Even though this is a Category C offence I didn’t want to annoy others, because it would be grating on me I can assure you.  Without thinking I gathered up my bags, held my breath as I left the screen I did this s that I didn’t cough as I passed others concentrating on what Spud was doing in front of them.

 Jack watched over me as i sat in the Big Brother style chair coughing.

Outside the screen I sat in the hallway by the loos feeling really frakked off while continuing to cough for over 5 mins.  At one point a member of staff looked over the banister looking down at me and asked “if I was ok”.  It was at this point while putting on my coat because I had decided to leave; I discovered I couldn’t find my cheap headphones.  It wasn’t the fact they were cheap that was annoying it was that I had only owned them 3 days.  I must have dropped them when grabbing my bags in the dark.

 Had a really nice morning meeting Penny, talking creative things. (Pic taken by Penny)

While all of this was happening I became aware that the “cough rate”, my newly patented scientific way of judging the gap between chest spasms was getting longer.  Could I go back in, could I find my headphones in the dark?  Once back in my seat I groped around the sticky carpet but found nothing.  1 minute became 5 which became 10 and eventually the end credits rolled, I saw the rest of the film.  All the way through the rest of Danny Boyle beautiful film I was on cough alert ready to grab my bags and leave without notice.  When I walked out of the Small local indie cinema I had a huge smile on my face, not just because I really enjoyed the film but because I made it to the end.  I of course will have to re-watch it as there is a missing period of about 10 minutes, so I can’t really say I experienced the full cinematic experience.  I should say that when the house lights came up I did find my headphones, so it was a win win situation all round.

 Seen on a Tube train, my feelings exactly.

I did ring the doctors but I think he had better things to be doing such as counting the small wooden sticks he uses when he asks a patient to “open wide and say ahhhhhh”. Until then I will have to continue to “live life” while coughing……..

In Other News… 

 That’s where the bus landed.

This week a train nearly went over a bus….. don’t panic it’s not as bad as it sounds.  After taking my nephew over a local level crossing, it became apparent that he had dropped his little bus that he carries everywhere.  This had landed in the grove that the train wheel goes through.  The bus was rescued, my nephew was happy, for a couple of minutes I was his hero.

 The rescued little bus.

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  “60 Days In Jail”, (ep 11).  “Blackadder II”, (ep 5 & 6).  “British History Biggest Fibs With Lucy Worsley”, (ep 1 & 2).  “Chewing Gum”, (S2, ep 4).  “Cosmic Scrat-Tastrophe”, (2015).  “Crashing”, (intro cast short).  “Hail Caesar”, (2016).  “Ice Age: The Great Egg-Scarpade”, (2016).  “Mr Beans Holiday”, (2007).  “My Digital Death”.  “Pitch Perfect”, (2012).  “Rage In The USA: Inside The Anger Room”.  “Revolting”, (ep 5).  “Rich Halls California Stars”.  “Secrets of Bones”, (ep 5).  “Smashing Glass Ceilings: The Women Of WWE”.  “Special Forces: Ultimate Hell Week”, (S2, ep 1).  “Stonehearst Asylum”, (2014).  “Stick Man”, (2015).  “T2 Trainspotting”, (2017).  “The Cult Nextdoor”.  “The Graham Norton Show”, (S20, ep 15).  “The Horizon Guide To Space Shuttle”.  “The Last Kingdom”, (S1, ep 1 to 5).  “The Last Leg”, (S10, ep 1).  “The Secret Life Of Pets”, (2016).  “Walking The Americas”, (ep 4).  “Zootopia, (Zootroplis)”, (2016).                  

This week I have mainly been listening to:  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (26/01, 27/01/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (26/01, 27/01, 30/01, 31/01, 01/02/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Live)”, (31/01, 01/02, 02/02/17).  ”LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (01/02/17).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (28/0/17).  “Scroobius Pip, Distraction Pieces”, (ep 11, 24/12/14) (ep 14, 14/01/15) (ep 19, 18/02/15) (ep 58, 16/09/15) (ep 135, pt 1 & pt 2, 01/02/17).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 26, 27/01/17).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (20/01, 26/01, 02/02/17).  “These People Podcast”, (ep 13, 28/01/17).  “Toby Hadoke’s Who’s Round”, (ep 168 to ep 170, 04/16) (ep 171 to 174, 05/16) (ep 175 & 176, 06/16).  “Morrissey”, “The Killers”,  “Manic Street Preachers”,  “Pulp”, ”Heim”, “Izzy Bizu”, “Underworld”, “Echobelly”, “Crash Test Dummy’s”.   

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East London & Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 136 Saturday 21^stJanuary 2017 until Friday 27^th January 2017.

 I’m not advertising, honest.

Warning this week’s shiz sorry ramble has been written under influence of various cold and cough remedies that I may have gulped instead of sipping with a tiny plastic spoon.  Plus gallons of glucose energy drinks, because I remember as a child it felt comforting.

This week was a very big week for my niece, who was 5 years old last Monday, where has all that time gone.  When we woke up on the big day, the two of us had camped out in her living room allowing Aunty MOZ a room to herself.  She looked at me and said “is it really my birthday”, how sweet is that.  I took a picture of her mirroring her first picture that had been taken within an hour of her entering the world, my finger stood in for her dads who appeared in the original, I must try to remember to do that again when she’s 10.  That little girl has made the last 1827 days a real pleasure.  I must mention that I have 3 nephews who I love dearly but it’s wasn’t there birthday this week, reading that back I’m worried that sounds bad I hope not.  All of these children have not just changed my life for the better but everyone else around them.

  2012 and 2017, camping out in the living room.

I am the kind of person who feels that the glass is broken as well as being mostly empty most of the time.  My opinion of myself is not high, in fact my opinion is not great about human’s in general just look at how we treat each other, animals or the planet in general.  But when it comes to the little ones in my life (and I can only talk about mine) I just have to smile, no matter how bad things are when I see the four of them I turn that frown upside down.

   Making of a special cake.

It’s rare I think about children, I mean a family of my own which I never had. However I definitely don’t feel I lost out, it just never happened.  In reality I think it’s a good thing that I never had little ones as this would have made my already complicated life even more difficult.  I have said this in a previous blogs that being a parent is in my opinion the most difficult job in the world.  Whereas being an Aunty is so easy, I get to play, look after them, treat them as if there mine but most importantly I get to hand them back to mum and dad.  If there was a qualification for being an Aunty, I might get a C+ or possible scrap a B-.

  No soggy bottom here.

Any chance I get to spend time with the kids is always welcome because running around makes me feel like a 5 year old again.  This ancient body is able to forget for a short time the normal worries of a person having a mid-life crisis such as creaky knees, lack of direction, money worries.  What I like is they make me laugh and I enjoy making the chuckle, I can be as silly as I like and they don’t question it.

   Grandma was in charge of the dance floor.

At my niece’s bday party there were about 15 small people, the noise was cranked up to 11.  I can report that there was only one major spillage which was cleared up by a roll of extra absorbent kitchen roll.  And one dirty mark on the wall that can be painted over, so there wasn’t a lot of damage.  Of course there were plenty of traditional party games such as pass the parcel, musical statuses and bumps.  But the best game was cleaning the floor.  Well that’s what it looked like to me, one of the fathers daughters started to cling to his leg as he walked.  Before you could say “who wants another cup of cola or cake” there were a number of children including the birthday girl clinging on to his legs.  He was a trooper and dragged them back and forth through my sister’s house for quite a while.  Watching this entertained the adults just as much as the children.

  The bday girl and friend on the dance floor.  Aunty MOZ and a new pal.

Maybe that’s what jaded adults need, not being dragged along the floor by a poor tired father.  No I mean let our hair down, laugh, run around and generally have a good time like were 5 years old.  Who’s up for a party?

  Not the bday party, an adult lunch with MOZ, SAZ and Mum.

In Other News… 

MOZ to me “what’s that programme Feed the Midwife”….  I looked at her and said “do you mean Call the Midwife”.  That amused me for a while.

 I was supposed to be writing this shiz and other important things, but got distracted.

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  “60 Days In Jail”, (ep 9 & 10).  “Allo Allo”, (S1, ep 2).  “Apple Tree Yard”, (ep 1).  “Chewing Gum”, (S2, ep 3).  “Close To The Enemy”, (ep 7).  “Crashing”, (ep 1 to 6).  “Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them”, (2016).  “Horizon”, (2016/17, ep 18 & 19).  “Jack Dees Helpdesk, US Presidential Inauguration 2017”.  “Mr Beans Holiday”, (2007).  “Not Going Out”, (S8, ep 2).   “Revolting”, (ep 4).  “Spies”, (ep 3 & 4).  “Storyville Zero Day: Nuclear Cyber Secrets”.  “Taboo”, (ep 3).  “The Brit Who Tried To Kill Trump”.  “The Golden Girls”, (S3, ep 6 to 13).  “The Graham Norton Show”, (S20, ep 14).  “The Story Of Adele”.  “Time Team”, (S19, ep 12 Britain’s Burial Past).  “Top Gear”, (9, ep 5 & 6) (S10, ep 2) (S12, ep 6).  “Trainspotting”, (1996).  “Walking The Americas”, (ep 3).  “Winterwatch 2017”, (S5, ep 1 to 4).  “Winterwatch – Wrapped Up 2017”, (ep 1 to 4).  “Witless”, (S2, ep 1 to 5).  “Who Do You Think You Are?”, (S13, ep 6).               

This week I have mainly been listening to:  “Desert Island Disc’s”, (14/01/1990) (22/01/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (20/01, 23/01, 24/01, 25/01).  ”LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (26/01/17).   “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (21/01, 27/01/17).  “Scroobius Pip, Distraction Pieces”, (ep 51, 03/08/15) (ep 134, 25/01/17).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 25, 20/01/17).  “These People Podcast”, (ep 12, 21/01/17).  “Toby Hadoke’s Who’s Round”, (ep 156, 12/15) (ep 157 to ep 159, 01/16) (ep 160 to 162, 02/16) (ep 163 to 167, 03/16).  “Morrissey”, “Two Door Cinema Club”,  “Tatu”,  “Sterophonics”, ”The Manic Street Preachers”, “The XX”, “Adele”, “Peaness”, “Muse”.   

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East London & Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 135 Saturday 14^th January 2017 until Friday 20^th January 2017.

I have mentioned before that as a child I wanted to be in no particular order a BBC camera person or an astronaut.  If you asked me today, I still want to achieve both of those jobs but I’m not clever enough so those dreams will remain out of reach.  If you were to ask me today how do I see my future I would say as a writer and director, these are still difficult but achievable.

  After a swim, it was nice to see a couple of heroes on a big screen. 

I am a creative person, I realise you wouldn’t have guessed this from the shiz.  Over the years I have done cartoons in magazines, hospital radio, theatre stages management, made small short films with a cine camera and jumped out of a plane. That wasn’t creative but it was a fun.  I have written for a long time and have stored away note pad after note pad of ideas and stories that no other human will ever read.  But at least I know if I run out of loo roll there is plenty of scrap paper around.  I have to make changes to this existence I call life.  After spending what feels like most of my life believing that I can’t do things, I am now trying have a go.  For years I wanted to act, do stand up but I really thought that a person like me could never do it.  It’s only now at the late stage in life that I am beginning to not care about what others think.

   Lovely evening at the Apollo Theatre, the star of the show popped up to see the cheap seats.

I’m currently at a cross roads and have to make decisions.  I need to make money as well as save some, of course I have bills to pay but I also want to feel that I am a useful member of society again.  Over the last few days I have had thoughts which distress me greatly.  Do I go back to working In an office Monday to Friday demanding that people pay their taxes.  This is something I desperately don’t want to do, when I finished doing that last August I won’t lie but my mental health was in tatters.  The thought of going back into that stressful air conditioned environment is already making me feel ill.

  Enjoying a little culture in Theatreland.

Or do I stand my ground and try to get background and possible acting work none of this is regularly and so far I have been working for free.  I have joined an agency which mainly deal with paid work, so fingers crossed I’ll get a call or text from them.  But it’s not just paying bills that’s important I really want (NEED) to return to  Mozambique a place that stole more than my heart a few years ago.  My next visit probably won’t be for as long as previous trips because of lack of money, but if I can go for a few months I’ll be happy.  In fact if I could return once or twice a year to that beautiful place by the Indian Ocean I would be happy.

 Mum said this was her first Starbuck, so we started with a very small cup.

But I’m here in the UK, and as I have said its decision time, which way do I go left or right, take the red pill or the blue pill.  I need to knuckle down, write the scripts which are floating around my head.  As well as finish the children’s book I’ve been working on for years.  I have this vain of creativeness flowing through me continually but none of it ever breaks through the surface.  I’m like a volcano constantly bubbling making the odd rumble but never erupts.

 I think she’s really hoping that this is not something she’ll get on her Bday next week.

I’m never going to be considered a success, I never going to make money but that’s ok with me because I just want to be happy.  Yes if you were to ask me right now, what do I want to do I would love to write and direct so it’s time to pull my finger out stop wasting time and get on with it.  Maybe one day I will have a project however small that my friends and family will be proud of, and earn me a few pounds.

  Original Moomins art at the Royal Festival Hall.

Im 48 and really haven’t achieved anything and I feel it’s time to turn this ship around.  You can’t turn an oil tanker straight away, it takes a long time and many miles to achieve that.  Yes I consider myself an old rusty tub that probably should be sunk and turned in to an artificial reef.  But at the moment i am still afloat, so I better start to turn this ship around and do some good.

 Coffee while writing this shiz.

In Other News…

Myself to MOZ what’s that album called “obese”.

MOZ looking at me with a smile “no older”.

Mum spoke to Iain Lee live on the radio, I think she enjoyed herself.  Luckily we didn’t wake the whole house up, that could have been awkward.

 My excuse was it was cold while waiting for my train.

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  “Britain Ancient Capital: Secrets Of Orkney”, (ep 3).  “Buffy The Vampire Slayer”, (Season 3, ep 5 to 7).  “Chewing Gum”, (Season 2, ep 1 & 2).  “Close To The Enemy”, (ep 6).  “Drones WTF?”.  “James May, The Reassembler”, (Season 2, ep 4).  “Live Lounge: The XX”.  “Mr Beans Holiday”, (2007).  “Not Going Out”, (Season 8, ep 1).  “Pointless”, (Season 16, ep 36, the 1000 ep).  “Revolting”, (ep 3).  “Sherlock”, (Season 4, ep 3).  “Spies”, (ep 1 & 2).  “Taboo”, (ep 2).  “The Graham Norton Show”, (Season 20, ep 13).  “The Mystery Of The Crossrail Skulls”.  “Walking The Americas”, (ep 1 & 2).  “Walking The Himalayas”, (ep 1 to 4, 2 x short extras).  “Walking The Nile”, (ep 1 to 4).        

This week live on Stage: “Peter Pan Goes Wrong” (Apollo Theatre London).     

This week I have mainly been listening to:  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (16/01, 17/01, 19/01/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (31/12/16, NYE) (12/01, 13/01, 16/01, 17/01, 18/01, 19/01/17.  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Live)”, (16/01, 19/01/17).  ”LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (19/01/17).   “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (14/01, 20/01/17).  “Scroobius Pip, Distraction Pieces”, (ep 39, pt 1 & pt 2: 05/06/15) (ep 40, 10/06/15) (ep 133, 18/01/17).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 13, 28/10/16) (ep 14, 06/11/16) (ep 19, 09/12/16) (ep 23, 06/01/17) (ep 24, 13/01/17).  “These People Podcast”, (ep 11, 14/01/17).  “Toby Hadoke’s Who’s Round”, (ep 147, ep 148, 10/15) (ep 149, ep 150, ep 151, ep 152, 11/15) (ep 153, ep 154, ep 155, 12/15).  “Morrissey”, “Teagan And Sara”,  “Marillion”,  “Wheatus”, ”Bronski Beat”, “Queen”, “The XX”, “The Vaccines”, “Arcade Fire”.   

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East London & (snowy) Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 134 Saturday 7^th January 2017 until Friday 13^th January 2017.

I always feel sad at the start of the year, actually thinking about it a lot of people feel a little gloomy.  This would be for a number of reasons; such as they have received the credit card bill informing them of how much they spent in December on tatt that was broken by 26th December.  Or on 31^st December they made a number of New Year’s resolution which by now they have broken.  It could be because its cold and snow has fallen, and as everyone knows if London gets a tea spoon of the white stuff then everything falls apart especially the transport system.  No I personally feel sad for a different reason.

   These trees need our love.

I want to bring to your attention to something that occurs every year at this time, something that makes me feel sad.  Look around most residential road’s, street’s, lane’s, close or crescent’s and you will see the unwanted, the unloved sitting lonely on the pavement or worse stuck in the top of a brown recycling bin.

   A few more waiting to be recycled.

Of course I’m talking about Christmas trees, all the pictures you see in this blog we’re taken down one road within minutes of each other.  Each of these trees was lovingly grown commonly between 7 to 10 years.  They were chosen because they were right for the particular room or house that they ended up in.  Or maybe a small child just fell in love with its shape, while the parents carried it, or dragged it home proudly.  There will of course be some people who picked there tree just to outdo the friends or neighbors this is what I call the “my tree is bigger than your tree syndrome”.

 Someone was excited about the teaspoon of snow that had settled over night. 

Many hours would have been taken to carefully decorate them with lights and other trinkets.  There might be something that had been lovingly made by a small child in some cases a number of years ago which only come out for a few weeks every year.  The trees were loved; people took pride over how and where they were displayed.  But in January that relationship is over, after weeks of stopping the cat or dog from playing, pulling the tree down or peeing up it.  It’s dragged outside and no one care if an animal decides to leave there mark up against it.

  Whats left of what was my fave building in the world, BBC TV Centre, went and had a look.

I understand that most people can’t keep the tree, they can’t replant them.  I wouldn’t be surprised if the percentage of trees that are replanted is infinitesimally small.  The trees that end up on the pavement will hopefully be collected by the local council and recycled instead of just being dumped and left on the already overflowing landfill.  I have looked around on the net and there many creative people who make interesting products from old unwanted Christmas trees, it would seem that every part of the tree can be used and to serve a useful function in a different form.

 Not all references to TVC has been removed, this was seen at Wood Lane tube station.

I will admit I have hippy tendencies; I am a bit of a tree hugger at heart.  It makes me sad that the human race has and is continuing to destroy trees at such an alarming rate in order for us to live our modern lives of concrete and metal.  I know that the worlds not perfect but I just wish there was a better way to deal with all these Christmas trees.  One answer might be that everyone uses artificial trees, but that then throws up a lot of other problems and arguments which I suppose are for another time.

   Filming at Tate Modern.

If your walking down the road and see a sad looking Christmas Tree waiting to be picked up, just think of the pleasure it gave the people who bought it, and the possible life it’s component parts could go on to serve.

 Seen at Tottenham Court Road tube station.

In Other News… 

Stood next to a man at work who is 106 Years old, he really looked like he was in his 80s.  I didn’t speak to him, if I had I would have found out what his secret is.  Oh I know he is 106 as a colleague knew him.  The temporary job i have been doing has come to an end, i don’t want to become a Government statistic again so need to pull my finger out.

 Recording These People Podcast.

This week I guested on a Podcast (These People Podcast), while recording from the bedroom the internet decided to have a fit.  As a result had to do pickups late Friday night.  I really enjoyed the experience so much.  I am looking at starting my own Podcast soon.

  The future and the past…..

Did some filming at the Tate Modern, I walked out questioning myself asking “what is art”.

 Writing this shiz.

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  “60 Days In Jail”, (ep 7 & 8).  “Britain Ancient Capital: Secrets Of Orkney”, (ep 2).  “Buffy The Vampire Slayer”, (Season 3, ep 1 to 4).  “Cats And Dogs, The Revenge Of Kitty Galore”, (2010).  “Close To The Enemy”, (ep 5).  “David Bowie: The Last Five Years”.  “Egypt Lost Cites”.  “James May, The Reassembler”, (Season 2, ep 3).  “Horizon: The Trouble With Space Junk”, (2014/15 ep 13).  “Muppets Most Wanted”, (2014).  “Nanny McPhee”, (2005).  “Pompeii”, (2014).  “Revolting”, (ep 2).  “Secret of Bones”, (ep 2 to 4).  “Sherlock”, (Season 4, ep 2).  “Sugar Free Farm”, (ep 1).  “Supersize Earth”, (ep 1 & ep 2).  “Taboo”, (ep 1).  “The Graham Norton Show: Graham’s Big Red Chair”.  “The Magic Of Mushrooms”.  “The Real Marigold Hotel”, (ep 2 & 3).  “The Sky At Night”, (ep 770).  “Winnie-The-Pooh, The Most Famous Bear In The World”.                 

This week I have mainly been listening to:  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (06/01, 09/01, 10/01, 11/01, 12/01/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Live)”, (09/01, 10/01/17).  ”LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (12/01/17).   “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (06/01, 07/01, 13/01/17) “Scroobius Pip, Distraction Pieces”, (End of Year Review, ep 74: pt 1, 23/12/15.  ep 75: pt 2, 24/12/15.  ep 76: pt 3, 30/12/15.  ep 77: pt 4, 31/12/15.  ep 78: pt 5, 06/01/16) (ep 132, 11/01/17).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 11, 14/10/16) (ep 12, 21/10/16).  “These People Podcast”, (ep 10, 06/01/17).  “Toby Hadoke’s Who’s Round”, (ep 136, ep 137, ep 138, ep 139, ep 140, ep 141, 09/15) (ep 142, ep 143, ep 144, ep 145, ep 146, 10/15).  “Morrissey”, “Space”,  “Ash”,  “The littlest Hobo Theme”, ”The Fall Guy Theme”, “The Divinlys”, “The Flaming Lips”, “Bowie”, “Chas n Dave”, “The Guillemots”, “The XX”, “Florence And The Machine”, “Goldfrappe”.   

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East London (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 133 Saturday 31^st December 2016 until Friday 6^th January 2017.

“Happy New Year” to everyone reading, I won’t wish the others as there either still drunk or throwing up into a friends laps. What will 2017 bring; for me it will be the initial confusion when writing the date trying to remember to put 2017.

  All wrapped up towards the end of 2016.

Normally on New Year’s Eve I just veg out in front of the TV.  Until a few years ago the main gathering point in London was Trafalgar Square.  I went there in the 90s, I remember that everyone was very plastered even though drink was not allowed; one of my main memories is drinking blue Maddog 2020 from someone’s bottle.  Now days, the big celebration is by the Thames where you have to pay for the privilege of seeing a few fireworks.

 London’s fireworks as seen from Parliament Hill.

New Year’s Eve 2016 MOZ and I ventured out into the madness making our way to Parliament Hill a few miles north of the Thames.  I don’t own gloves, London has got very chilly recently so I used a pair of thick novelty bed socks/slippers, it was dark no one would notice.

 First SB of 2017, i’m still addicted. 

There are strict rules when travelling on London Transport.  These include never speak to fellow passenger, don’t ever make eye with anyone.  In fact it’s very important that you ignore everyone including a Underground official when there trying to help you.  New Year’s Eve is the one night when the rule book is thrown away.  There were carriages full of people partying, the drink was flowing there was a sense of community.  What was nice to see was how friends looked after each other; one woman in very sparkly eye make cradled a very drunk friend in a caring way.  A not so pleasant memory is the number of men who you saw urinating like a dog up against any piece of tube infrastructure.  Note to self; be careful where I put my bag or what I lean against.

 I need to look before i get on a train, i really don’t want to visit Upminster YET again (picture not taken by me).

Because we arrived in the big smoke early it was decided that a drink would be a good idea, our regular pub must have been one of the few that didn’t have a doorman, wasn’t busy and had not hiked up there prices.  New Year’s Eve brings out a lot of knobs (ref the above and other people).  The biggest I encountered sat near us and spoke very loudly and drunkenly to his friend (who never replied) about how he constantly comprised his life because of women, his attitude was appalling.  He then went on to explain how he didn’t mind spending 6 to 7 years training to be a dentist because he will in the end make millions.  Oh one last thing, I really felt for his mother as he said he would like to take her out for a drink so she would realise how tough his life is.  What a tough life.

 I don’t have many pics this week, a card from my niece to Aunty MOZ.

Once we arrived at Parliament Hill we following the crowds in the dark.  A group in front of had a man shouting “Oliver” this continued until someone replied “Oliver is dead”.  I can report that Oliver was still being searched for afterwards.  We were happy that we saw the fireworks all be it in the distance, at least we didn’t have to pay.

 Saw Rogue One, A Star Wars Story for the third time this week, in a Super Screen….

Even in the early hours of the New Year day people were still in good humour on the tube.  One woman was talking to anyone who would listen about how annoying it was that she kept getting pics of champagne corks on social media.  The poor woman next to her who was trying to have New Year chat with her mother ended up with having two conversations just to keep everyone happy.

 My time at M&S is coming to an end.

MOZ will remember New Year for a different reason, she wore boots for warmth.  But we didn’t realise the amount of walking up and down hills, on pavements and gravel tracks in and around the Heath.  By the time we got back to hers around 3am I think she will admit that she wasn’t walking it was more of a New Year mince.

 Cheers to the New Year.

It was still a good evening, a few drinks with my best friend and seeing fireworks.  I hope 2017 will be a Happy New Year.

 All the countries that this Blog was read during 2016.  In 2017 i want world domination.

In other news…..  

Sometimes the simplest things are the most joyful, this week I really enjoyed going to the local park in the cold and feeding squirrels with monkey nuts.

I did my first session on the tills at work.  I sat there smiling as two women argued about the fact that one felt the other had pushed in.  All that went through my head was “do you need a bag” or “have you got a loyalty card”.  Punches were not thrown and security didn’t muscle in.

Other….

I have been re watching a lot of Buffy over the holiday season.  As a result there are 2 Buffy references within this ramble (this doesn’t include the Buffy mention in the “what I have been watching” section) can you find them.

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  “Britain Ancient Capital: Secrets Of Orkney”, (ep 1).  “Buffy The Vampire Slayer”, (Season 2, ep 9 to 22).  “Humans”, (Season 2, ep 8).  “James May The Reassembler”, (Season 2, ep 2).  “Jaws 2”, (1975).  “Jonathan Creek Daemons’ Roost”, (Crimbo 2016).  ”Mrs Browns Boys”, (Crimbo 2016, ep 2).  “Peter Cook And Dudley Moore, Missing Sketches”.  “Peter Pan Goes Wrong”.  “Planet Earth II”, (ep 6).  “Revolting”, (ep 1).  “Robot Wars: Battle of The Stars”, (ep 2).  “Rogue One: A Star Wars Story”, (2016).  “Secret of Bones”, (ep 1).  “Sherlock”, (Season 4, ep 1).  “The Graham Norton Show”, (Season 20, ep 13, New Years Eve).  “The Real Marigold Hotel”, (ep 1).  “The Real Marigold On Tour”, (ep 1 & ep 2).  “Titanic The New Evidence”.  “Yellowstone, The Wildest Winter To Blazing Summer”, (ep 1 to 3).               

This week I have mainly been listening to:  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (23/12/16, 02/01, 03/01, 04/01, 05/01/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Live)”, (02/01, 03/01, 06/01/17).  ”LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (05/01/17).   “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (31/12/16, 01/01/17) “Scroobius Pip, Distraction Pieces”, (ep 66, 04/11/15,  ep 96, 03/05/16,  ep 131, 04/01/17).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 15, 11/11,  ep 16, 18/11/16,  ep 22, 01/01/17).  “Theres Podcast People”, (ep 9).  “Toby Hadoke’s Who’s Round”,(ep 129,  ep 130,  ep 131, 07/15)(ep 132,  ep 133,  ep 134,  ep 135, 08/15).  “Morrissey”, “Artic (Cuddle) Monkeys”,  “Suede”,  “The Libertines”, ”Beck”, “Dingos Ate My Baby”, “Ladyhawk”, “Bowie”, “Spinal Tap”, “Oasis”, “Ian Dury”, “Ash”.   

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East London & Roade, Northamptonshire (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 132 Saturday 24^th December until Friday 30^thDecember 2016.

Due to a small event called Crimbo, this week’s ramble is a little different.

I cant lie I just haven’t had the time.

I hired a car, and scratched it leaving MOZ.  I did consider trying to cover it with a sharpie, but didn’t thought i better be honest. I lost £100 of the £200 deposit.

Spent crimbo day in Essex, had a very good time as you can see in these pics

On Boxing day the family met up at mums in Northamptonshire.  Once everyone arrived the grand children managed to open all there presents in record time, it was like watching a frenzied group of happy Piranhas.

Lunch was spent in a very busy local pub.

where i ate and played.

Some people took there fave present everywhere.

Even i enjoyed Crimbo in the end.

  Seeing as everything was complimentary i cleared the mini fridge out.

Finished the week in deepest foggy Essex bowling with MOZ and Rac. The winner deserved to win after being called Lunge…..

Im not the biggest Crimbo fan as a rule, but i really had a good week, here’s to next year.

In Other news…..

Saddest image of the week, a one armed doll on next doors wall, she’s been there all week.

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  “Adapting A Classic, We’re Going On A Bear Hunt”.  “Buffy The Vampire Slayer”, (Season 1, ep 1 to 12) (Season 2, ep 1 to 8).  “Citizen Khan”, (Season 5, ep 7).  “Charlie Brookers 2016 Wipe”.  “Cunk On Christmas”.  “Digging For Britain”, (Season 5, ep 3).  “Doctor Who Christmas 2016: The Return Of Doctor Mysterio”.  “Have I Got News For You”, (Season 52, ep 11).   “Inside Chernobyl’s Mega Tomb”.  “Inside No9, The Devil Of Christmas”, (2016).  “James May: The Christmas Reassembler”, (Season 2, ep 1).  “Jaws”, (1975).  “Mrs Browns Boys: Christmas 2016”, (ep 1).  “Outnumbered: 2016 Christmas Special”.  “Rillington Place”, (ep 3).  “Review: 2016 Year In Science”.  “Robot Wars: Battle Of The Stars”, (ep 1).  “The Entire Universe”.  “The Graham Norton Show”, (Season 20, ep 12).  “The Great British Bake Off, Christmas Special”, (ep 1 & ep 2).  “The Last Leg”, (Season 9, ep 11).  “The Mighty Boosh”, (Season 1, ep 1).  “The Royal Institution Christmas Lectures”: 80^th Anniversary”, (ep 1 to 3).  “Travelman 48hrs In Florence”, (2016 Christmas Special).  “We’re Going On A Bear Hunt”.                

This week I have mainly been listening to:  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (22/12/16).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (23/12, 24/12, 25/12, 26/12, 27/12, 28/12, 29/12, 30/12/16).  “Scroobius Pip, Distraction Pieces”, (ep 130, Drunkcast MK6, Crimbo special pt 3: 25/12/16, pt 4: 28/12/16 ).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 10, 04/10/16)(ep 21, 23/12/16).  “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 34, Adam And Joe Christmas Special, 25/12/16).  “These’s Podcast People”, (ep 8).  “Toby Hadoke’s Who’s Round”,(ep 127, ep 128, 06/15)(ep 199, 12/16).  “Morrissey”, “MIA”,  “Suede”,  “Mazzy Star”, ”Santigold”, “Beck”, “BuffyThe Vampire Slayer Soundtrack: inc Superfin, Velvet Chain, Hepburn & Cabo Matti”.