Misfits Mid-Life Crisis……..

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East & Central London and Northamptonshire (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 171 Saturday 23 ^rd until Friday 29 ^th September 2017.

The following might appear to be a little more relaxed and chilled than normal. This is because I have been out of the big smoke, wondering country lanes and fields of Northamptonshire visiting my mum and one of my sisters.

  “I want to ride through that tunnel”.

Arriving at Euston Station after work on Monday my heart sank when I discovered that every train was delayed.  I managed to squeeze my large ass onto an already packed train and escaped London with relative ease in the end.  Euston station always makes me feel nostalgic because I worked there for 18 months towards the end of the 80s.  And have fond memories of making “occasional” trips to the basement bar where i would see one or two other patron rushing that final pint, before they sat in the front of a speeding train “up north”.  Who am I to judge?

  “Met some lovely ladies while out and about”.

I love to being away from the capital, the air is fresher even with the whiff of manure floating around it smells so much better than most of London.  People appear to be kinder, they nod, say hello, good morning.  Coming from London I’m used to the fact that you don’t look at others, and definitely never EVER talk to another person unless you want to receive a mouthful of abuse or be splashed in the face with acid.

  “This canal vent is over 150 years old”.

While away I walked a couple of miles each day to the canal where I would write this shiz or drew like a 4 year old using colour pencils.  Everyday a random car would stop and a kind smiling local would ask if I wanted a lift, the only time that this would happen in London is if the driver was aiming a gun or attempting a kidnap.  There could of course be an ulterior motive for this countryside friendliness.  I did have images of waking up in a basement handcuffed to a pole wearing a gimp suit with a ping pong ball stuffed in the mouth while a cow licked my leg.  I’m not suspicious of others honest, living in London hasn’t affected me one bit.

  “Calming”.

I should mention that even speeding drivers are kind in the countryside.  Walking country lanes there were times when I would have to step into the verge covered in stinging nettles without a lot of notice to allow cars to pass.  I noticed drivers would wave “thank you“.  Thinking about it they might have actually just been showing me the finger or “the coffee beans hand gesture”.  It’s difficult to tell at speed.

  “I spent hours watching boats go up and down”.

Being away I made a daily pilgrimage to a local petrol station for a Starbucks (it’s from a machine, it’s not a proper Starbucks) I am an addict remember.  These last few days have been for relaxing, restful and regenerative and other things starting with the letter R.

  “I did clear up the mess, honest”.

And Now For Something Completely Different…… 

  “Gotta love nature”.

Have you ever chased after a bus as if you were in an action movie, last weekend I did.  Last weekend I couldn’t find my plastic wallet in my pocket or bag, forget the Oyster card it’s my Starbucks card that I was worried about.  Without asking I handed Calamity my bags as I turned on my heels and ran.

  “Making friends, and drawing badly”.

The bus stopped at a crossing at the top of the hill.  This gave me the opportunity to speak to the driver and explain my predicament.  Once back on the bus I looked around and under the seat I had been sitting on and saw nothing.  Meanwhile behind me other passengers were attempting to alight, but my large arse was blocking the exit.  It was then I panicked and rummage deeper inside my bag, which was when I saw my pass.  Stepping off the bus I felt like a total plum especially when I saw that my poor friend carrying all the bags and remembering that she had struggled up the hill with a bad foot for no reason.  She was clearly not impressed.   

And In Other News…… 

  “Thanks to these lovelies for a great few days”.

Heard a woman say ” I can feel my holes” as she massaged her earlobes.

Saw a horse rolling on the grass, which in my opinion was enjoying its self.  I grabbed my camera, stood up and aimed.  The horse was standing staring straight back at me…..bastard.

   “I lay on the floor in the dark, while Iain Lee played the radio, so much fun”.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts…… 

 “Writing this Shiz”.

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“60 Day’s In Jail”, (S2, ep 12: TX 25/09/17).  “60 Day’s In Jail…. From Inmate To Officer”, (short 1 & 2).  “Alien Covenant”, (2017).  “Astronauts: Do You Have What It Takes?”, (S1, ep 5: TX 24/09/17).  “Black Lake”, (S1, ep 1).  “Click”, (TX 23/09/17).  “Egypt’s Great Pyramid: The New Evidence”, (TX 24/09/17).   “Phillip K Dicks: Electric Dreams: Impossible Planet”, (S1, ep 2).  “Precision The Measure Of All Things”, (S1, ep 3 : TX 23/06/13).  “Rellik”, (S1, ep 1).  “Serenity”, (2005).  “Star Trek IV The Voyage Home”, (1986).  “Star Trek The Next Generation”, (S2, ep 19 & ep 20)(S3, ep 3 to ep 7).  “Strike – The Silkworm”, (S1, Story 2, ep 2).  “The Crystal Maze (2017)”, (S7/S1, ep 9).  “The Golden Girls”, (S4, ep 9 to ep 12).  “The Great British Bake Off”, (S8/S1, ep 5: TX 26/09/17).  “The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice”, (S4/S1, ep 5: TX 28/09/17).  “The Insider: Reggie Yates: US Jail Guard”, (S2, ep 3 : TX 27/09/17).  “The Sarah Jane Adventures”, (S1, ep 1 & 2)(S3, ep 5 & ep 6)(S5, ep 3 & ep 4).  “The Space Shuttle: A Horizon Guide”, (TX: 24/07/11).  “Without Limits: Vietnam”, (S1, ep 1: 14/09/17)(S1, ep 2: 21/09/17).

This week I saw live:

“Light’s Out”, (With Iain Lee, At Big Green Bookshop).              

This week I have mainly been listening to:   

“Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 8, 25/08/17)(ep 9, 08/09/17)(ep 10, 15/09/17)(ep 11, 22/09/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (21/09, 22/09, 2x 25/09, 2x 27/09, 2x 28/09/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (21/09, 22/09. 25/09, 26/09, 27/09, 28/09/17).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (28/09/17).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (23/09, 29/09/17).  “NASA Silicon Valley”, (ep 60, 21/09/17)(ep 58, 07/09/17).  “Quick Questions”, (ep 1, 14/07/17)(ep 2, 24/07/17)(ep 3, 21/07/17)(ep 4, 07/08/17)(ep 11, 26/09/17).  “Strange Times”, (ep 233, 15/09/17)(ep 41, 29/12/14)(ep  40, 21/12/13)(ep 39, 16/12/13)(ep 38, 07/12/13)(ep 37 & ep 36, 03/12/13)(ep 35, 17/11/13)(ep 34, 10/11/13)(ep 33, 26/10/13)(ep 32, 13/10/13)(ep 31, 05/10/13)(ep 30, 29/09/13)(ep 29, 23/09/13).  “Strange Times: ExtraCRAP”, (#11, 21/12/13)(#10, 10/12/13)(#8, #7, #6, 19/11/13)(#5, #4, #3, #2, 07/10/13)(#1, 10/10/13).  “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 49, 24/09/17).  “The Angelos And Barry Podcast”, (28/09/17).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 28, 28/09/17).  “Morrissey”,  “The Coral”,  “The XX”,  “The Courteeners”,  “Moby”,  ”James”,  “Stereophonics”.    

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East & Central London and Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 170 Saturday 16^th until Friday 22^nd September 2017.

I can’t lie, some weeks I really don’t have anything to say.  It’s those weeks that the blog get quite a lot of views.  Other weeks such as last week (Week 169) which I thought was blogging gold and only a small number people saw it.  In the grand scheme of life of course this doesn’t matter.  I am just grateful that anyone spends their valuable time glancing at words I have attempted to string to together.

  “Talent ozzing from every pore”.

I spend 8 hrs a day talking to people on the phone, unfortunately almost all of them are unhappy and don’t understand that I am just a “Phone Monkey” who has as much authority as a coffee stain in the office kitchen.  A place no one wants to spend much time in just in case they catch something nasty.  If you have read this shiz before you will know how important being creative is, this includes while at work in-between and even during calls.  Not only do I write this shiz but I love to doodle, most of the drawing start as just a squiggles or scribbles and grow organically over time.

  “Kings Cross fun”.

Recently I have got back into watercolour painting after a year of not touching a brush. The paintings are nothing to shout about and very old school, if for instance lettering is needed then this is either painted directly on to the paper or each letter cut out individually which is satisfying in a strange way.

  “Podcasting heroes, all of them”.

This week started in very creative atmosphere at the #LondonPodFest to watch the “The Rabbit Hole” podcast being recorded.  I met up beforehand with a group of very creative Podcast people including “Penny and Lee” (These People Podcast), “Gatford” (The Custard TV Podcast) and “Davian Dent” (Strange Time).  None of them i am truly worthy to be seen with in public with and therefore made sure that I was the correct distance behind them on the pavement, while sucking on the teat of their creativeness.

   “Was great seeing Frank on the screen”.

If you look back over the last 170 weeks of this shiz, the subject of creativity I suspect appears more than most, it helps keep me sane.  At the Podfest I met and spoke to a number of other very creative types who said they might be able to help me and said to send them some of my rubbish.  I am going to take them up on their offer and see what they think of my stuff.  If you’re STILL reading this can, I firstly want to say “Thank You”, and secondly if you’re a creative type and think you can help me please get in contact.

 “Its Shiz, but i enjoyed doing it”.

At the start of this ramble I mentioned I didn’t have anything really to talk about this week, apologies if I have wasted your time.

  “Fun in the Capital”.

And Now For Something Completely Different (Ish)…… 

Earlier I mentioned I speak to a lot of people on the phone.  What follows is my list in no particular order of telephone peeves, things that really do wind me up and annoy me.

  “Calamity inside a large tent”.

Heavy breathing.  This includes huffing and puffing, coughing and  spluttering and sneezing.

 “Shiz doodle”.

Drinking, eating or smoking.

Talking with other people.  The person that I am trying to help will suddenly start a conversation with another person out of the blue, leaving me hanging.

Someone rings up to make a payment, and they don’t have their card ready, then spend a minute or two looking for the bank card.

 “Evolution could be painful”.

Not having a pen or paper.  Why ring up for information and not have the essentials, also when they don’t have paper, why not use a hand or arm.

People holding a screaming child next to the phone, meaning it is very difficult to hear, speak and concentrate.

 “I’d watch the show, with talent like this”.

There are two subjects that people like to throw in regularly thinking it will make a difference to the outcome of the call.  No matter how sympathetic I am, these have no bearing at all.

“I’m (insert age here), blah blah blah” Or “I am disabled, blah blah blah”.

This will sound strange, but if a phone lines is bad or someone has a strong accent I have discovered that if I close my eyes I seem to hear them better…….. just me then.

  “Essex, 7.15am Friday morning”.

And In Other News…… 

  “Munchkin time”.

I have heard that the world is due to end on Saturday 23 September 2017, when Planet X or Nibiru a mythological planet is supposed to crash into our ball of rock we call home.  If this happens then it’s been fun guys.  I hope you all have your towel ready to hitch a lift from a passing galactic hitchhiker.  Take care, kids “and, so long and thanks for all the fish“….

Hopefully speak to you all next week. 

 “Writing this shiz”.  

My Mid Life Crisis Conts…… 

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“60 Day’s In Jail”, (S2, ep 11: TX 11/09/17).  “American Made”, (2017).  “Bake Off: An Extra Slice”, (S4/S1, ep 4: TX 21/09/17).  “Click”, (TX 16/09/17).  “Comedy Playhouse: Static”, (S18, ep 3).  “Electric Dreams: The Hood Maker”, (S1, ep 1).  “Horizon 2017: Goodbye Cassini – Hello Saturn”, (TX18/09/17).  “Marc Bolan Cosmic Dancer”, (TX 15/09/17).  “People Just Do Nothing”, (S4, ep 6).   “Precision The Measure Of All Things”, (S1, ep 2 : TX 17/06/13).  “The Brain With David Eagleman”, (S1, ep 4: TX 11/02/16)(ep 5: TX 18/02/16)(ep 6: TX 25/02/16).  “The Chase”, (S11, ep 33).  “The Crystal Maze (2017)”, (S7/S1, ep 7 & ep 8).  “The Golden Girls”, (S4, ep 5 to ep 8).  “The Great British Bake Off”, (S8/S1, ep 4: TX 20/09/17).  “The Insider: Reggie Yates: In A Refugee Camp”, (S2, ep 2 : TX 20/09/17).  “The Other One”, (S1, ep 1).  “Tipping Point”, (S7, ep 114).  “Upstart Crow”, (S2, ep 3 & ep 5).  “W1A”, (S3, ep 1 & ep 2).  “World’s Busiest Cities”, (S1, ep 3: TX 13/09/17)(ep 4: TX 31/08/17).             

This week I have mainly been listening to:   “Houston We Have A Podcast”, (30/08, Hurricane Special)(ep 6, 11/08/17)(ep 7, 18/09/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (14/09, 15/09, 2x 18/09, 19/09, 20/09, 21/09/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (14/09, 15/09, 18/09, 19/09, 20/09, 21/09/17).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (21/09/17).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (16/09, 22/09/17).  “NASA Silicon Valley”, (12/09, 19/09, ep 59, 14/09/17)“Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 56, 16/09/17)(ep 57, 22/09/17).  “Strange Times”, (ep 48, 17/02/14)(ep 47, 09/02/14)(ep 46, 02/02/14)(ep 45, 25/01/14)(ep 44, 21/01/14)(ep 43, 12/03/14)(ep 42, 05/01/14).  “Strange Times: ExtraCRAP”, (#12 (another) 02/03/14).  “The Aggy Fox Podcast”, (ep 12, 05/05/17).  “The Kundalini Files: Redux”, (28/11/14).  “The Nick Abbot Habit”, (ep 12, 22/09/17).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 27, 21/09/17).  “Morrissey”,  “The Cure”,  “The Killers”,  “Kasabian”,  “Artic Monkeys”,  ”Bowie”,  “John Shuttleworth”, “The Fizz”, “The Libertines”.    

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East & Central London and Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 169 Saturday 9^th until Friday 15^th September 2017.

                               A Space Special.

There is a group of jump suited people that I am jealous of.  No not “Elvis” impersonators!  I am talking about Astronauts.  From an early age, apart from wanting to be a BBC camera person I desperately wanted to be an Astronaut, and still do.  It won’t come as a surprise to find out that I haven’t achieved either of those ambitions.  However, I did get to mess about with a BBC camera a couple of times when I worked there, and still get very excited when I see a TV camera of any description.  But that’s for another week.

   “Lens flare enhanced by a drink”.

Yes, I still desperately want to be a space traveller.  In my eyes, those who do manage to break free of our thin atmosphere are HEROES.  During the early days of manned spaceflight astronauts were white middle class men mostly from the US military, such as test pilot.  Today a lot of astronauts still have a military background, but many others are engineers, medical doctors, scientist from different disciplines and teachers.  Every single one is an expert in their particular field.

  “Surrey fun”.

Recently I have been watching a TV programme that is putting a group highly qualified “ordinary” people through “as near” and in some cases real Astronaut training.  The participant who makes it through to the end will get a recommendation to ESA (European Space Agency) the next time they recruit for candidate astronauts.  Last year when I heard about this programme I did look into applying, unfortunately because a Goldfish found in a fairground living in a clear plastic bag has more brains than me, I didn’t waste anyone’s time.  Also, rejection hurts.

  “Thank you These People Podcast for asking me to scribble some shiz”. 

If I had between $20-40 million in loose change I would definitely become a Space Tourist.  So far 7 people have paid to travel to the ISS (International Space Station), one person has been twice, greedy sod!  Alternatively, for about £250,000 there are a number of companies who are in the final stages of developing reusable crafts which will take paying customers into low orbit for a short time, to experience weightlessness while viewing the curvature of the earth below and the blackness of space above.

   “Random things i’ve seen this week”.

An option that is still expensive but a little more affordable, is having a small sample of ashes sent up into space.  Looking at the various websites I’m not sure how many of these companies have actually sent anything into orbit.  It’s something to think about if I find some spare cash under the sofa.

  “We shopped for far longer than planned”. 

However, I suspect that the only way I’ll be involved with a launch is by using a D.I.Y method placing my ashes inside a firework.  Of course, I won’t be around to enjoy the experience but I’m sure it will look pretty.  Could I request that the rest of my ashes be scattered at what remains of BBC Television Centre (my fave building).  I could then haunt the studios, push the cameras around and annoy “the talent”.

 “Calamity, enjoying the sun for a minute or two”. 

It would be a dream come true to ride a rocket and experience space, I would go tomorrow if I could.  Until that day I’ll continue to look up and dream, watch programmes and read about the “heroes” who have the “Right Stuff”.  Thinking about it, maybe if I did become an “Elvis” impersonator I could make enough money to take a trip into orbit.  It’s something to think about!

  “An erection in London i like”.

And Now For Something Completely Different (Ish)…… 

 “A quick tribute to a plucky probe”.

By the time you read these words, the solar system will be a little emptier.  At 12.55 (BST) on 15 Sept the joint NASA, ESA (European Space Agency) and Italian Space Agency spacecraft Cassini plunged into the most beautiful planet in the solar system, Saturn.

 “Something not finished until later Friday night”.

Cassini was launched in 1997 arriving at Saturn in 2004.  One of early highlights of the mission was the detachment of the Huygen’s probe that successfully landed on Saturn’s moon Titan.  Cassini continued to study Saturn, it’s stunning ring system, discovered 7 previously unknown moons while closely investigated others such as Enceladus.

 “Making a mess at night in the bedroom”.

The reason the craft was deliberately destroyed, is because her fuel was running low.  NASA /ESA didn’t want to risk Cassini crashing and contaminating moons such as Titan and Enceladus which scientist believe “may have/might have” microbial life.  The only way to ensure that these future targets of exploration are kept pristine was to deorbit the craft into Saturn’s atmosphere.  Cassini continued to transmit vital information until moments before being destroyed by the crushing pressure of the gas giant’s atmosphere.

 “Shhhh, its ART, darling”.

The legacy of Cassini will continue for decades as scientist study the information sent back over the last 13 years.  The probe will also influence future missions, manned and unmanned around the solar system and beyond.

Thanks Cassini for the memories.

And In Other News…… 

A man walked in front with a noisy walkie talkies in his back pocket.  A woman passed and I heard her say “people at work talk out of there arse”.

 “Writing this Shiz”.   

My Mid Life Crisis Conts…… 

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“60 Day’s In Jail”, (S2, ep 10: TX 11/09/17).  “Astronauts: Do You Have What It Takes?”, (S1, ep 4: TX: 10/09/17).  “Bake Off: An Extra Slice”, (S4/S1, ep 3: TX 14/09/17).  “Being Human”, (S5, ep 6).  “Click”, (TX 09/09/17).  “Comedy Playhouse: Mister Winner”, (S18, ep 2).  “From Russia To Iran: Crossing The Wild Frontiers”, (S1, ep 4: TX 10/09/17).  “Horizon 2008/9: Can We Make A Star On Earth”, (ep 10, TX 17/02/09).  “Horizon 2017: Mars A Traveller’s Guide”, (TX 12/09/17).  “I Know Who You Are”, (S1, ep 9 & ep 10).  “Lego Masters”, (S1, ep 4: TX 14/09/17).  “Mission To Mars”, (2000).  “My Life”, (S8, ep 3).  “Nanny McPhee Returns”, (2010).  “Our Wild Week In Croatia”, (TX 09/09/17).  “People Just Do Nothing”, (S4, ep 5).  “Precision The Measure Of All Things”, (S1, ep 1 : TX 10/06/13).  “Star Trek: Into Darkness”, (2013).  “Strictly Come Dancing: Brucie Tribute Dance and Tess Speech”, (S15, TX 09/09/17).  “Strike – The Cookcoo Calling”, (S1, Story 1: ep 3).  “Strike – The Silkworm”, (S1, Story 2: ep 1).  “The Great British Bake Off”, (S8/S1, ep 3: TX 13/09/17).  “The Insider: Reggie Yates A Week In A Toxic Dump”, (S2, ep 1 : TX 13/09/17).  “The Search For A New Earth”, (TX 11/09/17).  “The Sky At Night”, (TX 10/09/17).  “Upstart Crow”, (S2, ep 1 & ep 2).  “Wonders Of The Universe”, (S1, ep 4: TX 23/03/11).           

This week I have mainly been listening to:   “Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 1, 07/07/17)(ep 2, 14/07/17)(ep 3, 21/07/17)(ep 4, 28/07/17)(ep 5, 04/08/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (08/09/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (08/09, 11/09, 12/09, 13/09, 14/09/17 (short)).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (14/09/17).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (09/09, 15/09/17).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 55, 08/09/17).  “Strange Times”, (ep 55, 04/04/14)(ep 52, 07/04/14)(ep 51, 31/03/14)(ep 50, 16/03/14)(ep 49, 23/03/14)(ep 49.5, pt2, 12/03/14).  “Strange Times: ExtraCRAP”, (#14, 31/03/14)(#13, 24/03/14)(#12, 03/03/14).  “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 48, 14/09/17).  “The Aggy Fox Podcast”, (ep 11, 22/04/17)(ep 19, 09/09/17).  “These People Podcast”, (ep 35, 09/09/17).  “Morrissey”,  “Blur”,  “Sparks”,  “Echobelly”,  “Katy Perry”,  ”Taylor Swift”,  “Sixpence None The Richer”, “Kate Bush”, “The Beatles”.    

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East & Central London, Essex and Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 168 Saturday 2^nd  until Friday 8^th September 2017.

Driving is something I love, watch any classic “Top Gear” episode “Jezzer, The Hamster or Capt Slow” might say they love the car there driving because of its speed or the (shouting) “POWER” of the engine, or maybe the colour.  Mentioning the colour of a car, when I see a dark “boiled sweet” purple or “baked bean” red/orange I do have an urge to lick that car…… (Ok, just me then).  However, if you ask me what do I love about driving; my answer would be pushing or pulling the indicator lever/stalk thingy.  Yes, I really enjoy flicking the stick which activates the small blinking light notifying fellow drivers of my intentions.

  “The beast i hired last weekend”.

Due to being a poorly paid temp I can’t afford wheels of my own, but living in a part of London which is spoilt for tubes, buses and trains (when they run of course) it’s not something I really need.  Last year I hired a car on a couple of occasions, each time it was a quick and easy process.

 “Button’s everywhere”.

Last weekend I hired a car to take friends to visit relatives, I should point out that I wasn’t just the chauffeur, I know the relatives as friends.  What happened could have been a storyline from a cheap daytime soap opera.  The pick up by the hire company ended up being a couple of hours.  Once at the office it was clear they were extremely short staffed as there were plenty of frustrated customers waiting, I didn’t look any of them in the eye as I was processed almost immediately.  I definitely felt every set of eyes watching me carefully, all wishing that I would crash over the weekend. This was when the hire company dropped the bombshell that they didn’t have the small car I had booked.  Instead I drove away in a posh, bigger and longer vehicle with blacked out back windows.  The car was so long that the garden gate at my friend’s house wouldn’t close.  Before leaving the office, I put on my unhappy customer “Watchdog” face resulting is a reduction of 35% of the bill.

  “Speakers Corner has met its match”.

The dashboard was full of flashing buttons and dials; it wasn’t difficult to imagine that I was at the helm of the “USS Enterprise”.  If you fingerprinted the interior, you would have seen that i only touched what I needed too.  Even the indicator “thingy” had additional buttons which were unnecessary for the weekend.  The only thing that mattered was it made a satisfying click when used, which I did a lot.  As I have said before I’m a simple organism, who is very easily pleased.

  “The Lovely Iain Lee and Katherine Boyle, and a sweaty old hag”.

And Now For Something Completely Different…… 

Over the weekend I got to play “Had/Tag/It” in London’s Hyde Park with a group of listeners to the “Iain Lee radio show on “talkRADIO” (Mon to Fri 10pm to 1am).

  “Liquid refreshment, before and after our fun in Hyde park”.

Before competition commenced I met up with a small group.  This consisted of a couple of podcasters/friends, a guy called Jonathan who was lovely.  And Gatford, a man I had not before but I felt I knew because he has been a regular caller to the radio show for years.  My life is complete I have met “Gaztech Camera”.

  “Gatford (Gaztech Camera) checking in with his agent”.

Life as an adult is mostly serious and boring.  Playing “It” a simple children’s game even for just an hour actually did ease feelings of stress or lack of self-confidence.  Maybe this activity should be prescribed instead of pills.  Many us at the end were out of breath and aching in places which should be painful on a Sunday afternoon, but most importantly we had fun.  The children who had been dragged along, really wanted to be “It” running up to the person that they should have been avoiding.  That must be how they play the game these days.  Whereas the adults played by old school rules “run away as fast as possible in the opposite direction”.  Once group photos were taken, everyone scattered with smiles their faces, I definitely felt part of a secret community.  What a great way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

 “We came, We played IT, We survived”.  

And In Other News……

   “A great way to spend a Sunday”.

After celebrating Voyager 2, 40^th anniversary on 19th August.  This week it was the turn of Voyager 1 which launched 40 years ago on 5th Sept 1977.  The probe packed with 70s tech and is still sending back vital information about its environment.  At 20.00 pm (GMT) on 5^th September, Voyager 1 was 12, 977, 518, 818, miles from our small insignificant pale blue dot.

 “Its Veggie, dont worry”.

If undisturbed, in about 40,000 years the probe should pass within 1.6 light-years of the star “Gliese 445”.  Happy b’day Voyager 1, you’re not forgotten.

 “Happy Travelling V1 & V2” (Wish i had drawn this, i didn’t).

And Finally, Honest……

This week the number views for this blog overtake the grand total for the whole of 2016.  It really means a lot that people spend a few minutes reading this shiz or looking at nice (in my opinion) pictures.  It will be interesting to see how many views can be registered by the end of the year.

 “Writing this shiz”.

 My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

 This week I have mainly been watching:  

“60 Day’s In Jail”, (S2, ep 9: TX 04/09/17).  “A Big Lego Crimbum”, (TX 26/12/16).  “Astronauts: Do You Have What It Takes?”, (S1, ep 3: TX: 03/09/17).  “Bake Off: An Extra Slice”, (S4/S1, ep 2: TX 07/09/17).  “Being Human”, (S5, ep 2 to ep5).  “Can Robots Love Us?”, (TX 04/09/17).  “Click”, (TX 02/09/17).  “Comedy Playhouse: Tim Vine Travels In Time”, (S18, ep 1).  “Fawlty Towers”, (S1, ep 2).  “From Russia To Iran: Crossing The Wild Frontiers”, (S1, ep 3: TX 03/09/17).  “Game Of Thrones”, (S7, ep 7).  “I Know Who You Are”, (S1, ep 7 & ep 8).  “Inside Lego At Crimbum”, (TX 26/12/16).  “Lego Masters”, (S1, ep 3: TX 07/09/17).  “People Just Do Nothing”, (S4, ep 4).  “Sex Map of Britain”, (S1, ep 1: TX 31/08/17).  “Storyville Out Of Thin Air: Murder In Iceland”, (TX 14/08/17).  “Storyville Silk Road: Drugs, Death And The Dark Web”, (TX 21/08/17).  “Strictly Come Dancing: Meet The Celebrities”, (S15, TX 31/08/17).  “Strike – The Cookco Calling”, (S1, ep 1 & ep 2).  “The Crystal Maze”, (S7/S1, ep 5 & 6).  “The Great British Bake Off”, (S8/S1, ep 2: TX 05/09/17).  “The 21^st Century Race For Space”, (TX 05/09/17).  “Wonders Of The Universe”, (S1, ep 3: TX 20/03/11).  “World’s Busiest Cites”, (S1, ep 1: TX 30/08/17,ep 2: TX 06/09/17).         

This week I have mainly been listening to:   “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (2 x 31/08, 2 x 04/09, 07/09/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (31/08, 01/09, 04/09, 05/09, 06/09, 07/09/17).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (07/09/17).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (02/09, 08/09/17).    “Strange Times”, (ep 232: 02/09/17, ep 60: 08/06/14, ep 59: 01/06/14, ep  58: 27/05/14, ep 57: 21/05/14, ep 56: 12/05/14, ep 54: 27/04/14, ep 53: 14/04/14).  “Strange Times: ExtraCRAP”, (#18: 09/06/14, #17: 27/05/14, #16: 12/05/14, #15: 21/04/14).  “The Aggy Fox Podcast”, (ep 10, 19/03/17).  “The Angelos And Barry Podcast”, (07/09/17).  “The Nick Abbot Habit”, (ep 11, 08/09/17).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 27, 07/09/17).  “Morrissey”,  “Supergrass”,  “The White Stiripes”,  “Echobelly”,  “Barenaked Ladies”,  ”Daft Punk”,  “Sixpence None The Richer”, “Dubstar”, “The Cranberries”.    

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East & Central London (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 167 Saturday 26 ^th  August until Friday 1 ^st September 2017.

Currently i work in a part of East London / Essex which i consider a Bermuda triangle for coffee lovers.  I spend far too much time and money in coffee shops, the public houses of the 21^st century.  Living in London it’s easy to be an addict because there are branches of the coffee giants on every high streets.  The area I am located in however is untouched by the large companies even though there is adequate electrical supply, complicated spoken language and money made of paper and metal, they haven’t used leaves and peddles in years.

  “Hanging around in Whitechapel”.

There are occasions when I am sitting in the comfortable bosom of the mega-corporation and notice outside a small indie coffee shop struggling in its shadow.  Quite why anyone would want to open a rival bean grinding establishment next door to an outlet who probably uses the milk from an entire herd in one day is beyond my thinking.  Of course, the indie might have been making drinks with a personal touch for a while when suddenly the corporate behemoth appears and literally sucks them dry.

   “The very flexible Tavaziva Dance Group”.    

With the big name’s there is something comforting about the fact that no matter which branch you visit the decors the same, the drink taste and look the same.  I’m a simple organism who knows what she likes and what I can expect for my hard-earned cash.  However, with an indie you never quite know what will be served up, it’s definitely more personal.  A couple I would like to mention are “La Gauloise” (Melcombe St) near Baker Street which has amazing cakes on display in the window.  Another favourite is “Tiny Tims” (5 Northgate) Rochester, Kent an establishment that severe up huge slices of homemade cake and unlimited caffeine top ups.  Cake does seem to be a running theme, I said I was simple.

   “The lovely Phil King”.

“Back in the coffee Bermuda triangle, while rushing through the station daily I noticed “EzO Bistro” which has shelve after shelve of books, a café with lots of reading material needed to be investigated.  Due to arriving for work early I used to sit on the platform listening to podcast’s while watching the world pass by.  These days I sit in the coffee shop sipping a drink, listening to a podcast, while reading a page or two about Mars (it’s going to take weeks to complete the book) and occasionally glancing at the world rushing by.  After a month of visiting the café the staff now only need to know what size of drink I want.

 “Chips and Cider on a Sunday by the Thames on a Bank Holiday weekend”.

The companies that charge a small fortune for a paper cup of gloopy surgery goodness who “may or may not” have questionable tax affairs will always entice me over their doorstep.  When they inform me that I am entitled to a “FREE” drink (which is of course not free when you factor in the number of full priced drinks that have had to be bought) I foolishly feel special.  Even though the staff are always pleasant I never feel that the service is personal in the corporate environment.  This is what the small independent café does so well, spending a little more time adding that personal touch.  Of course, when the next customer arrives they do it all again, it must be exhausting working in a coffee shop definitely a job I wouldn’t be good at.

  “Calamity and Lunge talking a lot of ball’s”. 

This got me thinking I really hope that the friendly barista washes their hands well after cleaning out the loo……  Just a thought I’ll leave with you.

 “Nuff said”….

And Now For Something Completely Different…… 

 “For a couple of seconds, i was in the lead”.

Last weekend the sun came out; this meant I was smeared in Factor 50, walking in the shade watching others sizzle.  For the second year running Calamity and I spent Sunday of the bank holiday weekend on the South Bank enjoying free entertainment at the River Stage organised by the National Theatre.  We managed to get good seats and saw “Tavaziva” a dance group, the beautiful music of “Phil King” who I met afterwards.  We finally enjoyed a recorded (earlier in the year) theatre performance of “Twelfth Night” with “Tasmin Greig”.  I’m not a Shakespeare fan, but still enjoyed the production, even if I didn’t understand every word because the “Ye Olde” script.  As I mentioned earlier, I’m simple.

And In Other News…… 

 “Writing this Shiz”.

To keep me sane at work I doodle.  Last week I was asked to do one for the lovely “These People Podcast”.  Last weekend I drew, painted and managed to rehydrate an old Pritt Stick ™.  The picture is basic, but a lot of fun to do.  The drawing has an embargo on it until the podcast is released so below is my original scribbled idea.

 “Top left it says Gatford, top right it says Aggy, the P means Penny and the L is for Lee”.

Here is a link for “These People Podcast”  www.thesepeoplepodcast.com your ears will love you.   

My Mid Life Crisis Conts…… 

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“60 Day’s In Jail”, (S2, ep 8).  “Angel”, (S1, ep 15 to ep 17).  “Astronauts: Do You Have What It Takes?”, (S1, ep 2: TX: 27/08/17).  “Bake Off: An Extra Slice”, (S4/S1, ep 1: TX 31/08/17).  “Being Human”, (S4, ep 7 & ep 8)(S5, ep 1).  “Detectorist”, (S2, ep 6).  “From Russia To Iran: Crossing The Wild Frontiers”, (S1, ep 1: TX 20/08, ep 2: TX 27/08/17).  “Gluck: Who Did She Think He Was?, (TX: 27/08/17).  “Lego Masters”, (S1, ep 1: TX 24/08, ep 2: TX 31/08/17).  “Live AT The NFT: Twelfth Night”.  “People Just Do Nothing”, (S4, ep 3).  “Strange Times: Videocast”, (ep 8: TX 23/04/14, ep 7: TX 01/04/14, ep 6: TX 28/03/14, ep 5: TX 14/03/14, ep 4: TX 03/03/14, ep 3: TX 23/01/14, ep 2: TX 22/01/14, ep 1: TX 17/01/14).  “The Crystal Maze”, (S7/S1, ep 4).  “The Golden Girls”, (S4, ep 1 to ep 4).  “The Great British Bake Off”, (S8/S1, ep 1: TX 29/08/17).  “Top Of The Lake: China Girl”, (S2, ep 2 to ep 6).  “Trust Me”, (S1, ep 4).        

This week I have mainly been listening to:   “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (24/08, 30/08/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (24/08, 25/08, 28/08, 29/08, 30/08/17).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (31/08/17).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (26/08, 27/08/17, 01/09/17).  “RHLSTP”, (ep 143, 30/08/17).  “Scroobius Pip Distraction Pieces Podcast”, (ep 166, 30/08/17).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowmen”, (ep 53, 26/08/17, ep 54, 01/09/17).  “Strange Times”, (ep 64, 07/07/14, ep 63, 30/06/14, ep 62, 22/06/14, ep 61, 16/06/14).  “The Aggy Fox Podcast”, (ep 9, 13/03/17, ep 18, 30/08/17).  “The Angelos And Barry Podcast”, (01/09/17).  The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 26, 31/08/17).  “Morrissey”,  “Queen & Bowie”,  “Moby”,  “Manic Street Preachers”,  “The Cheeky Girls”,  ”Bill Hailey”,  “Phil King”, The Killers”, “Noel Gallagher And The High Flying Birds”, The Artic Monkeys”.    

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East & Central London and Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 166 Saturday 19^th August  until Friday 25^th August  2017.

     The Anniversary Weekend Special: 19/20 August 2017 

  Eve wasn’t coughing up a hairball.

We have no control over the passage of time, it’s probably the only thing that we cannot control in this modern age and the one aspect of our life’s that we wish we could slow down, even stop.  My niece and nephews are aged between 2 ½ and nearly 6.  I remember my mum saying how sad it is that they will grow up so quickly.  At this point in this ramble I would like to publicly apologise to my mum (of course I should have remembered that mothers are always correct).  Those little ones are not so small now, it won’t be long before they will be as tall as me and I’ll be asking them for lifts.  Also I wonder what they will think when they read these weekly rants.

  Who’s farted, MOZ, Paul, Sigrida or Joleen.  You decide.

And Now For Something Completely Different…… 

   SAZ and the seating plan.  If your name’s not on your not coming in.

At this time of year, you hear people saying “I can’t believe it’s nearly the end of August, where has the year gone”.  I have been thinking of this because on 19th August it was the first wedding anniversary of my sister and her lovely hubby.  The thought that 365 days has passed since that memorable occasion is difficult to fathom even though I experienced them and remember how tedious and monotonous most of them were.

    I slaved for hours over these.    

To celebrate the anniversary and the fact that my sister reached a milestone last December (I should point out that my sister is a twin, and spookley they both reached the same milestone. I’m not sure who is copying who) she organised a party.  If you have read or seen “Lord of the Rings” you might remember “Bilbo’s” bday jamboree, SAZ’s shindig was far more impressive very much like a mini festival, all that was missing were rows of portable chemical loos (though one was spotted on a drunken walk through the village).

  These cool kats know how to party.

I don’t want to embarrass my sister but she had arranged a chef who prepared wonderful food in her kitchen which was brought to the tables by waiters.  There was lovely selection of wines to taste, plus of course everyone brought bottles this meant that no one’s glass was empty for long.  The effort my sister went into decorating the house and garden was appreciated by all.  Most of the people in attendance I have known for many years but many I haven’t seen since that special day last year.  For me it was a great occasion to catch up and continue conversations about a shared love of “Morrissey” and “Doctor Who”.  I danced, chatted and drank throughout the night, enjoyed a walk through the village with SAZ, cuz Catherine and Joleen as the sun came up finally going to sleep at 7.14am on Sunday morning.

   Now a moment with our sponsor. This week’s Blog is brought to by Toilets Plus.

Thanks, SAZ and Tim for a really great time, look forward to the next anniversary.

 Huh-huh-huh-huh, snogging.

And In Other News…… 

 Please call a responsible adult, the kids have escaped.

On Sunday 20^th August, it was the 40 anniversary of the launch of Voyager 2 (her sister Voyager 1 launched on 5 September 1977).  I have been captivated by these two space probes ever since they took off from Cape Canaveral.  Like millions of others I fell in love with the beautiful images the on-board cameras took of the four gas giants Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune between 1979 and 1989.  Plus I have enjoyed programmes, magazines, books and in recent years I am a regular visitor to the NASA website checking up on how the crafts are faring in void.

   One of these outfits was vetod, and quite rightly   

Both probes continue to transmit vital data back to Earth about the environment its travelling through.  A number of instruments have been deactivated over the years to conserve energy from the nuclear power plant which produces electrical power.  In 2025 it is predicted that Voyager 2 final science instrument will be deactivated due to lack of energy.  However, NASA believes that they may still receive engineering data well into the 2030s.

 Screen shot taken at 19:00pm (see below).  

As of 19:00pm on 25 August 2017, Voyager 2 was 10,654,999,412 miles from earth, of course that figure grows every second as probe speeds further away.  These examples of 1960s/70s technology are the ultimate ambassadors of the human race.  Even if you don’t know much about the Voyager project you probably have heard of the golden record secured to the side of each of the spacecraft’s that contains music, images and greetings from “The planet Earth”.  Once the human race has become extinct, those gold-plated copper discs (as well as the plaques on Pioneer 10 and 11 launched in the early 70s) will be the only signs that humans ever existed.

  My tattoo of the Solar System map as seen on Pioneer 10 & 11.

Voyager 2 is expected to pass Sirus the brightest star in the sky in 296.000 years’ time.  In my opinion, the Voyager twins are greatest “hunks of junk” humans have thought off and human hands have made.  Happy bday Voyager 2, travel safe, you’re not forgotten. 

 Writing this Shiz.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts…… 

 Party lushes.

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“60 Day’s In Jail”, (S2, ep 7).  “Angel”, (S1, ep 9 to ep 14). “Astronauts: Do You Have What It Takes?”, (S1, ep 1: TX: 20/08/17).  “BBC News Special: Solar Eclipse”, (TX: 21/08/17).  “Being Human”, (S4, ep 3 to ep 6).  “Cleverman”, (S2, ep 6).  “Click: 2 x India Specials”, (TX: 19/03/17).  “Game Of Thrones”, (S7, ep 4 to ep 6).  “People Just Do Nothing”, (S4, ep 2).  “The Brain With Dr David Eagleman”, (S1, ep 1: TX 21/01, ep 2: TX 28/01, ep 3: TX 04/02/16).  “Trust Me”, (S1, ep 3).  “Utopia: In Search Of The Dream”, (ep 3, TX: 22/08/17).  “Wonders Of The Universe”, (S1, ep 1: TX 06/03, ep 2: TX 13/03/11)         

This week I have mainly been listening to:   “Anarchic Audio: Open Mic At The Frog And Backpack”, (pt 1: 25/07/18)(pt 2: 24/08/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (21/08/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (15/08, 16/08, 17/08, 21/08, 22/08, 23/08/17).  “Keith And The Girl”, (ep 2653, 16/06/17).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (19/08, 25/08/17).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowmen”, (ep 52,18/08/17).  “Strange Times”, (ep 231, 18/08/17)(ep 70, 30/08/14)(ep 169, 25/08/14)(ep 68, 11/08/140)(ep 67, 28/07/14)(ep 66, 22/07/14)(ep 65, 14/07/14).  “Strange Times: ExtraCRAP”, (#20, 14/08/14)(#19, 03/08/14).  “The Aggy Fox Podcast”, (ep 8, 13/03/17)(ep 17, 24/08/17).  “The Angelos And Barry Podcast”, (23/08/17).  “The Documentary: Cassini’s Last Adventure”, (BBC World Service, TX: 22/08/17).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 25, 24/08/17).  “These People Podcast: We Need YOU For Summer”, (19/08/17).  “Morrissey”,  “Wombats”,  “Biffy Clyro”,  “Alanis Morissette”,  “Snow Patrol”,  ”The B-52’s”,  “Lady Gaga”.    

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East London, Northamptionshire and Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 165 Friday 11^th August  until Friday 18^th August  2017.

If you read the previous week’s blog, you would know that I spent last weekend in the countryside at my mum’s.  Letting the train take the strain, I sat back watching the capital disappear only to be replaced by rolling green fields.  Many of these were not filled with sheep and cows as expected; they have been evicted and replaced by solar farms and forests of wind turbines.

  Public transport was a breeze for once.

After I stepped off the train I witnessed something special.  A dog that had been waiting patiently with its owner suddenly got excited barking and pulling on the lead.  After a couple of minutes, a young woman appeared who scooped up the dog in a loving embrace and was welcomed with a sloppy puppy kiss.  My welcome was nearly as messy, sitting with my sister in her car were my mum and a very excited 5 year old.  My niece planted a sloppy kiss on me which was almost as messy as the canine smooch.  What a wonderful way to be greeted and a lovely start to a weekend away from the big smoke.

   Fun getting dirt under the finger nails.

My niece and I spent a lot of time in the garden rummaging around looking for ants and other creepy crawlies under stones.  The two of us helped a Bumble Bee who appeared to have gotten lost in the undergrowth unable to find the big blue sky.  When a child invents a game that they enjoy, one thing they love is to repeat it over and over.  So, for a period of time we roamed through the garden pretending to be lost, only to stumble across the house and grandma sitting in the sun on the garden bench.  There was a moment of delight for all when a wild baby bunny was spotted sunning its self on the grass.  My sister said she has seen this and other bunnies before, very sweet.

   I didn’t spill very much keeping up. 

Every morning I took my niece for a walk to the petrol station, we both came away excited because I had a Starbucks and she was holding another magazine with a badly made toy, but more importantly lots of stickers, every child loves stickers.  Highlights on these trips (apart from the Starbucks of course) were waving at lorry drivers and motorcyclist who not only waved back but in the case of the lorry drivers flashed all their lights to the delight of a little girl.

  Loving Aunty H and teaching Grandma a thing or too.

My mums house is small so at night my niece and I slept in the living room.  The sofa bed was mine, while my sister had bought a new “Spiderman” sleeping bag/bed for the pint-sized visitor.  However, Friday night she slept with me, being worried about her rolling off the edge I stacked all the remaining cushions next to her just in case.  Maybe my snoring put her off doing that again because on Saturday she crawled into her sleeping bag once she’d had enough of the film we were watching.  One thing that didn’t make her fall asleep was watching 3 episodes of  ”Doctor Who” (Season 10) back to back, she requested them honest!

  Down the Pub.

Sunday was the final day.  Even though my niece was having fun, she was very excited when her mum arrived to take her home later that day; I was hitching a lift with them back to leafy Surrey.  This wasn’t until after a lovely pub lunch at a local family run country pub where we met my up with cousin Catherine.  Once again, I spent a lot of time playing, helping a little girl hang from monkey bars, or climbing up ropes or just sliding repeatedly down various slides.

 Look who was snoring in the back of the car. 

The weekend was so much fun, of course it was great to see my mum, sister and cousin.  But spending quality time with one of my favourite little people in the world made the whole weekend very special.  I don’t get out into the countryside that often, I need to visit mum more often, I’m a bad daughter.  There is a date in September that I am eyeing up, and already looking forward to my next visit.

   I was told not to play with my food, but who cares.

And Now For Something Completely Different……  

 Do i look like i care, about your missed bin.

About a month ago I was approached by the lovely Tommy Royal who I knew off through listening to certain podcasts.  He wanted to adapt a short film script I had written into a radio play.  Within a period of a month he had produced a full audio production, there is a link at the bottom of this ramble.

   A star in the making.

Amongst the talented voice artist are my niece and sister who are both integral to the plot.  However the person playing the policewoman is just a hanger on who wrote herself a part wanting to be involved in this exciting project.

  Look away nothing to see here.

If you would like to listen to the story of “Sookie” please click here.

https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/sookie/id1264683877?i=1000390979648&mt=2

 Quiet, its a baby bunny….

 Writing this shiz.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“60 Day’s In Jail”, (S2, ep 6).  “Angel”, (S1, ep 4 to ep 8).  “Being Human”, (S3, ep 6 to ep 8)(S4, ep 1 & ep 2).  “Boss Baby”, (2017).  “Celebrity Big Brother”, (S20, ep 13).  “Cleverman”, (S2, ep 2 to ep 5).  “Click”, (TX: 12/08/17).  “Doctor Who”, (S36/S10, ep 1 to ep 3).  “Gravity”, (2013).  “I know Who You Are”, (S1, ep 3 & ep 4).  “Living Differently”, (S2, ep 1: TX:10/08/17).  “Night At The Museum”, (2006).  “People Just Do Nothing”, (S4, ep 1).  “Quacks”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 6).  “Secrets Of Silicon Valley”, (ep 2, TX: 13/08/17).  “Super Small Animals”, (TX: 09/08/17).  “The Bug Grub Couple”, (TX: 07/08/17).  “The Last Leg”, (S11, ep 13).  “The Mash Report”, (S1, ep 4).  “The Sky At Night”, 9TX: 13/08/17).  “Thunderbirds Are Go”, (S2, ep 6).  “Top Of The Lake: Paradise Lost”, (S1, ep 5 & ep 6).  “Top Of The Lake: China Girl”, (S2, ep 1).  “Tornado-100mph Steam Train”, (TX: 15/05/17).  “Trust Me”, (S1, ep 2).  “Utopia: In Search Of The Dream”, (ep 1, TX: 08/08/17)(ep 2, TX: 15/08/17).         

This week I have mainly been listening to:

“Anarchic Audio: Intro”, (25/07/17).  “Anarchic Audio: Punny You Should Say That, (pt 2: 16/08/17).  “Anarchic Audio: Sookie”, (13/08/17).  “Feedback (R4)”, (13/08/17)“Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (09/08, 10/08/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (10/08, 11/08, 14/08/17).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (09/08/17).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (11/08, 12/08, 18/08/17).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowmen”, (ep 51,11/08/17).  “Strange Times”, (ep 230, 14/08/17)(ep 75, 06/10/14)(ep 74, 30/09/14)(ep 73, 21/09/14)(ep 72, 14/09/14)(ep 71, 09/09/14).  “The Aggy Fox Podcast”, (ep 7, 13/03/17).  “The Angelos And Barry Podcast”, (14/06/16)(11/08, 16/08/17).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 24, 17/08/17).  “These People Podcast”, (ep 35, 14/08/17).  “Morrissey”,  “P.J Harvey”,  “Suede”,  “Ladyhawke”,  “Arcade Fire”,  ”R.E.M”,  “Nirvana”.    

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East and Central London (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 164 Saturday 5^thAugust  until Thursday 10^thAugust  2017.

This week’s blog is being published on Thursday because I am spending the coming weekend visiting my mum and one of my sister’s.  Things I intend on doing include eating lots of home cooked food, while trying to persuade mum to make as many veggie Yorkshire puddings as possible.  Walking and running (not at the same time) along country roads where I have to step quickly into the grass verge when traffic appears.  As well as going to the local country pub.

  I did run this week, ok it was more of a stagger but i did move.

One thing I am very excited about is my niece will also be there.  Really looking forward to spending a few days in the countryside with one of my favourite 5 year old’s.  Don’t worry next week I will bore you in detail with lots of pictures.

 Enjoyed having a coffee before work every morning.

And Now For Something Completely Different…… 

 Managing to read a few pages a day before work, i might have to sneak the book out of the cafe.

Over the last few months I’ve been re-watching all seven seasons of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” with my bowling friend Calamity.  We both watched and loved the show when it was originally aired between 1997 to 2003.  What was nice about doing this marathon is we were sharing the experience of remembering the story-line, who said what to whom.  In the case of some characters it was fun remembering how often they got knocked out cold, and who spoke the best lines.

 Summer in East London during August.

These days we are spoiled by the amount of TV available with channels showing programmes about every possible subject.  My first multi-channel experience was when I visited Canada in the mid-80s, I was exposed to so many channels that my family had to drag me out of the house just to see the sites of Toronto.  I was a pig in shiz, watching original series “Star Trek”, 1970s “Doctor Who” and 60s “Twilight Zone” episodes a number of times a day on different channels, as well as many other favourite shows.  My family joke that we are all addicted to the magic screen in the corner of the room, I think there is truth to this.

 You cant see me, nothing to see here.

This may be a case of rose tinted glasses, but because of the amount of choice these days people don’t watch the same thing at the same time.  In the 1970’s when there were only 3 channels in the UK, “Morecambe and Wise” were watched by a huge percentage of the population all at the same time.  People would talk and share their experience the next day about how they enjoyed the programme.  This doesn’t really happen anymore, partly because of the myriad of channels and because we can watch a programme at any time anywhere.  No one is a slave to the Radio Times, i remember with fondness circling a programme in biro and getting frustrated when there was a clash because you didn’t know if there would be a repeat.  This meant you had to make a choice as to which one to watch.  “Game of Thrones” is probably the biggest show at the moment, the one that people are talking and sharing their experience about that hour of entertainment and what it means to them.  However there not all watching it at the same time due to the way we consume our viewing now.

 I pass this every morning, and just like it.

These days an entire season can be downloaded with the swipe of a finger.  I have happy memories of buying the latest DVDs or VHS boxset which contained multiple hours of entertainment.  Before these I would make my own boxsets, religiously videotaping episode after episode of a show, then lovingly labeling the spine sticker with episode number and title trying to write as small as possible.  In the early 80s many “Doctor Who” fans including myself would send blank videos through the post, only to then wait patiently for weeks for the jiffy bag to return.  The images occasionally were barely watchable scratchy black and white or washed out colour classic stories from 60s and 70s which had been recorded in the US or Australia but they were devoured and watched again and again.

 Pretty in purple.

Re-watching Buffy slay vampires, defeat other demonic menaces in Sunnydale California has really has been an enjoyable shared experience.  We sat together and shared the emotional ups and downs of the story-line while getting to know characters we already loved all over again.  There were occasions when we were both surprised at the direction the show took as it was different to how it was remembered.  Watching a programme at the same time with a friend does bring a shared common feeling.  TV used to be a family event everyone sat around one box in the living room.  Today we tend to watch a small screen on our own, sat on the train, in the office or on the loo.  Television has become a solitary experience.  Let’s start a new trend by watching with others so that we can enjoy and share memories and emotions together.

 Sorry “CB”, i forgot to mention your bday last week, oops.

And Finally……

The excitement of seeing a squirrel in the garden, climbing a tree and stealing from the bird feeder.  I rushed outside heroically when one of the local cats appeared, resulting in a face-off between the two furry visitors.  I am pleased to say the squirrel has returned.

 Writing this shiz, early.

 My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“60 Day’s In Jail”, (S2, ep 5).  “Angel”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 3).  “Being Human”, (S3, ep 4 & ep 5).  “Buffy The Vampire Slayer”, (S7, ep 17 to ep 22).  “Cleverman”, (S2, ep 1).  “Click”, (TX: 05/08/17).  “I know Who You Are”, (S1, ep 1 & ep 2).  “Prejudice And Pride: The People’s History Of LGBTQ Britain”, (ep 2,TX: 03/08/17).  “Queers”, (S1, ep 3, ep 7 & ep 8).  “Secrets Of Silicon Valley”, (ep 1, TX: 06/08/17).  “Stacey Dooley Investigates”, (TX: 07/08/17).  “The Last Leg”, (S11, ep 12).  “The Mash Report”, (S1, ep 3).  “Top Of The Lake: Paradise Lost”, (S1, ep 1 t ep 4).  “Trust Me”, (S1, ep 1).         

This week I have mainly been listening to:   “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (04/08, 08/08/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (04/08, 07/08, 08/08, 09/08/17).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (03/08/17).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (05/08/17).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowmen”, (ep 50, 04/08/17).  “Strange Times”, (ep 82, 10/11/14)(ep 80, 28/10/14)(ep 79, 21/10/14)(ep 78 & ep 77, 20/10/14)(ep 76, 10/10/14).  “Strange Times ExtraCrap”, (#23, 21/10/14)(#22, 13/10/14)(#21, 23/09/14).  “The Aggy Fox Podcast”, (ep 6, 13/03/17).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 23,10/08/17).  “These People Podcast”, (ep 34, 05/08/17).  “Morrissey”,  “National Pigeon Unity”,  “The Manic Street Preachers”,  “Pulp”,  “Smiths”,  ”Led Zepplin”,  “The Fratellis”, “Cornershop”, “Ladyhawke”.    

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East and Central London (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 163 Saturday 29^th July until Friday 4^th August  2017.

If you look at pictures of me you would never think of me as a runner.  For a long time I ran at the gym while watching classic Top Gear repeats.  Eventually I was doing a number of 5 to 10 km runs a week.  Occasionally I would unleashed myself onto public roads wearing hi-vis clothing hoping that drivers wouldn’t run me over thinking some wild animal was on the loose.

 This is not the face of a sprinter.

When I was in Mozziebeak I would run regularly to the petrol station and back (about 9km in total), during the run I would watch the sun rise and fall behind the palm trees while listening to Morrissey who always kept me company.  Very occasionally I would come across another runner who wasn’t a sweaty mess leaving a trail of perspiration dripping on the tarmac.  I would entertain local children who sometimes ran barefooted with me or just laugh and point as I stumbled and staggered past their homes.

  These started as just a scribble, nothing was planned.

My running career came to an end about a year ago due to concern regarding my knees.  The sounds that they made reminded me of a creaky door sound effect in a classic Hammer Horror film.  I had images of my knees buckling under my considerable bulk while pounding the pavement.

  I’ve enjoyed visiting this indie cafe before work every morning.

If I am totally honest I never really enjoyed running it was always a chore, but a satisfying one once I had finished.  This was because I saw results, I felt better about myself in mind and body, plus I lost weighed around the expanse I call my equatorial region.  Competing in 5 or 10k “Race for Life” runs and a small number of triathlons was always fun.  Coming away with a shiny medal even if I was one of the last people to drag my sad old carcass across the finishing line made me feel like I had achieved something.

  I have no idea what any of this is supposed to be.

Being middle-aged with an expanding sub-equatorial region I am finding it’s a constant battle to lose weight hoping to fend off an early death or disease.  To do this I swim a number of times a week as well as regularly go to aerial yoga.  But the real problem is I eat all the wrong shiz at the wrong time while sat on my fat arse watching my tablet.  After doing a little research while sitting on my lardy bottom, I discovered that there is a local running club.

 Calamity is full of hot air.

Looking at pictures I already know I probably won’t make friends as they all appear thin, athletic and smiley.  I am none of these things.  But I am going straps my knees restraints and visit the club.  As with anything like this I am nervous what will people think when “Jabba the Hutt’s” uglier sister arrives in shorts and trainers.  More importantly will they have a defibrillator within easy reach and is anyone trained to use it.  Something else that concerns me is I haven’t run in a while; will I be able to do more than an old person’s shuffle.

 Enjoyed seeing this Fox every afternoon relaxing beside the District line track, makes me smile.

Hopefully I will be able to stagger more than a couple of metres, and that this might become a weekly social occasion.  One really good things about the running club is it will stop me from sitting on my ever expanding behind one evening a week stuffing my face with even more tasty E number and Trans fats, emmmm but they taste so good.

 Pretty to see, but i wont be putting these in my salad for lunchtimes.

And Now For Something Completely Different…… 

 Seen at Tower Hill tube station.

I speak to so many people Monday to Friday from 8am to 4pm that by the end of the day I’m sick of hearing my own voice.  During the week, I spoke to was a Police woman.  Once the call ended I turned to my colleague and said “I liked a woman in uniform, it would be even better if she was a red head.  I like redheads”.  This was when I shut up, my mouth hanging open with nothing coming out.

  Has so much fun recording a new “These people Podcast” with penny and Lee. 

My colleague is a very pretty woman who has lovely red hair.  During this silence, I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole.  The windows don’t open very wide so climbing out and shinning down the drain pipe was not an option, plus it was raining and I didn’t have a coat.  As I backtracked I felt my foot plunging deeper in to my cavernous open mouth.  The situation was saved when the next call came through from an angry customer regarding a missed bin.

Note to self: Put brain into gear before speaking.

And Finally……

Quote of the week, “people keep telling me to ring www. and I can’t, i don’t understand”.

 Damn you, travel mug.  

Sipping coffee from my travel mug at work, I decided to blow instead of suck.  There is a pin prick of a hole which I think helps steam escape, it’s something I’ve never really noticed before.  Cold coffee spurted out of the hole and into my eyes.

Note to self: Suck don’t blow.

Writing this Shiz.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“60 Day’s In Jail”, (S2, ep 4).  “Being Human”, (S2, ep 6 to ep 8)(S3, ep 1 to ep 3).  “Buffy The Vampire Slayer”, (S7, ep 7 to ep 16).  “Click”, (TX: 29/07/17).  “Detectorist”, (S2, ep 5).  “Game Of Thrones”, (S6, ep 2 & ep 3).  “Hive Alive”, (ep 1, TX: 15/07/14)(ep 2, TX: 22/07/14).  “Hyper Evolution: Rise Of The Robots”, (ep 2, TX: 02/08/17).  “Orphan Black”, (S4, ep X).  “Prejudice And Pride: The People’s History Of LGBTQ Britain”, (ep 1,TX: 29/07/17).  “Queer As Art”, (TX: 29/07/17).  “Super Senses: The Secret Power Of Animals”, (ep 2, TX: 26/08/14)(ep 3, TX: 02/09/14).  “The Betrayed Girls”, (TX: 03/07/17).  “The Last Leg”, (S11, ep 11).  “Two Types: The Faces Of Britain”, (TX: 31/07/17).  “Wild Alaska Live”, (S1, ep 3).       

This week I have mainly been listening to:   “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (27/07: pt1 & pt2, 31/07, 01/08, 02/08, 03/08/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (27/07, 28/07, 31/07, 01/08, 02/08, 03/08/17).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (03/08/17).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (27/07, 04/08/17).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowmen”, (ep 49, 28/07/17).  “Strange Times”, (ep 229,28/07/17)(ep 87, 14/12/14)(ep 86, 07/12/14)(ep 85, 30/11/14)(ep 84, 24/11/14)(ep 83, 16/11/14)(ep 81, 11/11/14).  “Strange Times ExtraCrap”, (#24, 09/12/14).  “The Aggy Fox Podcast”, (ep 5, 13/03/17)(ep 16, 02/08/17).  “The Angelos And Barry Show”, (03/08/17).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 22, 03/08/17).  “These People Podcast”, (ep 33, 01/08/17).  “Morrissey”,  “David Bowie”,  “Dusty Springfield”,  “Arcade Fire”,  “Frankie Goes To Hollywood”,  ”The Communards”,  “Bronski Beat”, “New Order”, “Ladyhawke”.    

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East and Central London & Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 162 Saturday 22^nd July until Friday 28^th July 2017.

If you have been reading this shiz for a while you will know that I am a frustrated creative type.  With a head full of ideas, none of which manage to break free from inside my thick skull.  Somehow ideas need to navigate past my extremely thick fat neck and arrive at my slender fingers in order for them to be excreted into the world.  One problem is that there are so many ideas floating around my cranial cavity all bumping into each other which only produce even more ideas, it’s a never ending cycle.  The inside of my head may be empty of brains, but it’s full of strange creativeness.  Does this shiz count as being creative, the jury’s still out on that one.

   Spent a long time trying to decide what to eat in Spitalfields.  I think we “Choose wisely”.

An Idea I am putting into action is to write a page of a story or script a day.  I am wonderful at talking the talk, because only a small amount has been written over the course of this week, but there will be more.  I am under no illusion that anything that comes out of the end of my fingers will be worth reading or that anyone will ever want to see it.  I think of this process as creative exorcism.

  The sites of “London town”, in the rain.

A project that has been ready for a couple of years is the children’s book I wrote while in Mozambique.  While the paintings were completed in my sister’s spare bedroom in Surrey.  All I need to do is finish putting the words onto the pictures then I could e-publish it.  It can’t be difficult, I know a couple of people who have published books this way so surly I can do it.

 Still very proud.

Monday to Friday between 8am to 4pm I write this shiz in between calls listening to people complaining about not having their bins emptied. During those precious occasional minutes there’s not enough time to get involved with a story or a script which is why this shiz is perfect.  Another thing I do a lot while waiting for a call is doodle.  Sometimes the doodle is barley a scribble; others are a proper drawing which I’d never call art but there an identifiable drawing. These little creative burst keep me sane throughout the day.

  These keep me occupied during the day.

Creativeness is like a spot, one that i can’t help but pick daily.  As with any zit, I know I shouldn’t squeeze it but I can’t stop myself.  Creativeness is the puss inside this hypothetical spot, managing to get an idea on to the page or tablet successfully is like squeezing that spot all over the bathroom mirror.  If writing something is like popping a teenage spot, what is painting a picture or taking pleasant photo (which I also do by the way).  I’ll have to think about when I’m not writing this or doodling in between calls about missed refuge.

  Some Friday scribbles.
And Now For Something “sort of” Different…… 

I love to sleep. Thinking about it I would curl up given any opportunity for a nap I really don’t need an excuse.  This is strange because most nights I sleep badly (I should say that I don’t daytime nap often, that’s not causing my night-time problems) waking up a number during the night.

   Travelling to see some small friends.  Saw a mug at work, which reminded me i should see this classic again.

Lately I have used this disturbance to my advantage.  I am lucky to dream most nights, now I fumble around for the iPad and make notes?  You never know one of those ideas might turn out to be something that others might be interested in reading or seeing.

  Who was having more fun.

Maybe this is the time I should admit that I don’t sleep on my own.  Hopefully this is not too personal for you and you will continue to read to the end.  You didn’t think that a 48 year old slept alone.  Admittedly most mornings I have to search around under the sheets or even the surrounding floor as “WB” my teddy has tried to escape during the night.  But don’t worry I find him every morning, its a little game we like to play.

 “WB” wants an agent for this picture.

And Finally……

Saw a man on his knees cutting the border of his grass with a pair of scissors; I thought that was a myth.

 Pole dancing at 7.30 am on the District Line.

Watched a woman walking from the loo with toilet roll stuck to her shoe.  I had to wave and point downwards, I couldn’t let her walk all the way through a packed room like that.

A colleague said “I’m going to boost my immune system”, as she took a fag out of her bag and left the office.

 Writing this shiz.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“60 Day’s In Jail”, (S2, ep 3).  “Being Human”, (S1, ep 6)(S2, ep 1 to ep 5).  “Buffy The Vampire Slayer”, (S7, ep 4 to ep 6).  “Click”, (TX: 22/07/17).  “Deep Down & Dirty: The Science Of Soil”. (TX: 17/04/14).  “Detectorist”, (S2, ep 4).  “Doctor Who”, (S36/S10, ep 10).  “Game Of Thrones”, (S6, ep 7 to ep 9).  “Home Alone”, (1990).  “Hyper Evolution: Rise Of The Robots”, (ep 1, TX: 26/07/17).  “Living Differently Paralysed Beauty Blogger”, (BBC3, TX: 20/07/17).  “One Deadly Weekend In America”, (TX: 09/07).  “Orphan Black”, (S4, ep 1 to ep 4).  “Science And Islam”, (ep 3, TX: 19/01/09).  “Super Senses: The Secret Power Of Animals”, (ep 1, TX: 14/08/14).  “The Last Leg”, (S11, ep 10).  “The Mash Report”, (S1, ep 2).  “Wild Alaska Live”, (S1, ep 1 & ep 2).       

This week I have mainly been listening to:   “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (24/07, 25/07, 26/07/17).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (20/07, 27/07/17).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (22/07, 28/07/17).  “Strange Times”, (ep 96, 16/02/15)(ep 95, 09/02/15)(ep 94, 02/02/15)(ep 93, 01/02/15)(ep 92, 26/01/15)(ep 91, 18/01/15)(ep 90, 11/01/15)(ep 89, 01/01/15)(ep 88, 21/12/14).  “Strange Times ExtraCrap”, (#25, 15/12/14).  “The Aggy Fox Podcast”, (ep 4, 13/03/17).  “The Angelos And Barry Show”, (28/07/17).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 21, 27/07/17).  “These People Podcast”, (ep 32, 22/07/17).  “Morrissey”,  “Blur”,  “Pulp”,  “Placebo”,  “The XX”,  ”George Harrison”,  “The Mammas And The Pappas”, “The Killers”.