Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East & West London and Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 231 Saturday 17^th until Friday 23^rd November 2018.

This week has not been great. Originally I was going to write about the dark raincloud that seems to be following me. Instead I want to tell you about an experience with nature last weekend, one that really made me happy, if a little stressed.

“This really is how i felt at the start of the week”.

Last weekend my best friend wanted to continue brushing up on her driving skills at the centre we visited a few weeks ago. This is a series of roads on private land, a safe place for learners and people who are qualified but haven’t driven for a while to practice their skills. In between the roads is grassland with a steep verge beside one of the straight road leading up to housing.

“Real art, Courtesy of JBomb”.

My only complaint about the centre is that there are no lights, when it’s dark its pitch black! For a seasoned driver that’s not so much of a problem, but for less experienced ones this can be tricky. I witnessed how difficult it can be because a couple of other drivers thought they were on the “Top Gear” test tacking when taking a tight corner in the dark at speed. I might work in a call centre, but can confirm that MOZ executed a perfect emergency stop when we spotted a lump moving on the tarmac in front of us.

“Aries picture of the Week, what a cutie”.

The Hedgehog was minding its own business in the middle of the road. I needed to decide quickly, should it be placed on the grass beside/between the roads or in the undergrowth near the verge. The latter seemed like a safer bet! The hog was carefully wrapped in my fleece (thanks Helen for recently giving it to me) but I could still feel the ends of it spines through the material. Once uncovered in the undergrowth Hedgy totally ignored me and wondered off.

“Winter sun”.

A couple of laps later, MOZ made another excellent unplanned stop, because in the middle of the road was another Hedgehog. I would like to think that the “J Walker” was the same animal because this was the exact same location, but I can’t be sure as the first one didn’t tell me its name! Even though there were not many cars on the circuit at that late time there was a good chance that it would end up a sticky smudge looking like a “John Squires” painting if left on the tarmac. This time I climbed the verge and placed Erinaceus Europaeus (yes, I looked that up) on a ledge with a hole at the end which it scurried into straight away. Yet again there was no “thank you”, not even a backward glance. All I saw was a large wobbly bottom disappearing into the darkness.

“Everywhere i look, all i see are cranes in London these days”.

For the rest of the session all I could do was scan the road looking for moving lumps and bumps. I am pleased to report that no further animals were seen. I mentioned to her that I really don’t to visit again in the dark because it’s just too stressful. Seeing these Hedgehogs was really special. The only time I have ever seen a live one was a long time ago at school, when one was brought in for the class to frighten and prod with a thick glove. Otherwise I have only witnessed them sadly as fatal road traffic victims. I do know that there has been a huge decline in the number of Hedgehogs spotted these days. This is partly due to all the extra traffic, but also because of the building work taking place on land that they used to inhabit. Another factor is that people have paved gardens and driveways and replaced fences that they used to travel through gaps and holes.

“I don’t look good in the morning, the afternoon or the evening”.

When i am out and about I wonder what wildlife could be in the bushes just waiting me for and other lardy meat sacks to vacate the area so that they can come out only to be predated by fiercer animals. I do hope the Hog or Hog’s I encountered keep out of the way of speeding cars. What a wonderful unexpected experience.

“I really do doodle shiz while at work, it helps keep me sane”.

And Now For Something Completely Different……

Visited the bank this week which opened late! Once inside i was told the reason for the delay was because they couldn’t open the safe, and were worried they might have triggered the alarms.

“Surrey in the early evening”.

Maybe I should have looked behind the desk, just in case there was a person bound and gagged trying to signal for help that the branch is being robbed. There is a possibility I have seen to many films!

And Finally……

“I know which one i would choose”.

Cough and sneeze season has commenced. All over there are people spluttering and excreting ooze from various orifices all over their faces. I bet the Hedgehogs wouldn’t act like this, “Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle” would have taught them better.

Indulge Me For A Moment……

“Celebrating my fave timelord in style”.

Happy 55^th bday to the greatest time travel TV drama ever on 23^rd November. “Doctor who” started in 1963, and is still going strong. If you have never seen the very first episode search for “An Unearthly Child”. Have your reviews on my desk Monday morning, sharp!

“Writing this Shiz, loving Jennifer on 12 Monkeys”.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:

“12 Monkeys”, (S4, ep1 to ep 11 ). “BBC Children In Need 2018”, (TX: 16/11/18). “BBC Children In Need 2018: Mastermind”, (TX: 16/11/18). “Blue Peter”, (ep 5042, TX: 22/11/18). “Click”, (TX: 17/11/18). “Doctor Who”, (S37/S11, ep 7). “Frasier”, (S4, ep 4 to ep 12). “Have I Got News For You”, (S56, ep 7, TX: 23/11/18). “Lego Masters”, (S2, ep 3, TX: 20/11/18). “Louis Theroux Altered States: Choosing Death”, (TX: 18/11/18). “People Just Do Nothing”, (S5, ep 2). “Salems Lot”, (1979). “Space Dive”, (TX: 04/11/12). “The Apprentice”, (S14, ep 8, TX: 21/11/18). “The Apprentice: Honest Subtitles”, (S4, ep 8, TX: 21/11/18). “The Apprentice: You’re Fired”, (S13, ep 8, TX: 21/11/18). “The Graham Norton Show”, (S24, ep 8, TX: 23/11/18). “The Last Leg”, (S15, ep 5, TX: 16/11/18). “The Mash Report: Season 1 Best Bits”, (S1, ep 7, TX: 17/10/18). “The Sky At Night”, (TX: 18/11/18). “Tomorrows World Live: For One Night Only”, (TX: 22/11/18). “Van Helsing”, (S3, ep 1 to ep 7). “Will & Grace”, (S10, ep 6). “Zapped”, (S3, ep 6).

This week I have mainly been listening to:

“Aggy Fox And Dana Podcast”, (ep 4, 18/11/18). “Anti Social Show”, (ep 63, 16/11/18). “Brian Gittens And Friends”, (ep 47, 22/11/18). “Chasing Earhart”, (ep 66, 17/11/18). “Griefcast”, (ep 15, 20/12/17)(ep 17, 03/01/18)(ep 19, 17/01/18)(ep 60, 21/11/18). “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (16/11, 19/11, 20/11, 22/11/18). “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (22/11/18). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (17/11, 23/11/18). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot Habit”, (S2, ep 3, 21/11/18). “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 72, 23/11/18). “NASA: In Silicon Valley Live”, (19/11/18). “NASA: Rocket Ranch”, (ep 6, 20/11/18). “Skeptiod”, (ep 650, 20/11/18). “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 116, 19/11/18). “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 84, 17/11/18). “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 67, 18/11/18). “Morrissey”, “Kenickie”, “Ash”, “Smith”, “Toto”, “Depeche Mode”, “Biffy Clyro”, “Richard Ashcroft”, “Ian Brown”, Simple Minds”, Bill Medley And Jennifer Warnes.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in Surrey, East and West London (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 230 Saturday 10^th until Friday 16^th November 2018.

I am a huge fan of time travel, my fave TV show is the ultimate drama about travelling through Time “Doctor Who” (I am currently loving Jodie Whittaker). Over the last couple of weeks I have been bingeing on “12 Monkeys”, a drama with a story line heavy on time travel. Apart from wanting humans to step foot on Mars or alien’s making contact during my lifetime. I could die happy if time travel became a reality.

“Sitting on the sofa, on a very wet day”.

Sitting on the tube this week watching a very “Timey Wimey” episode of “12 Monkeys”, i noticed that the man next to me was struggling with a package which was taped up extremely securely. Once he had cut through the packing tape with a key, there were 2 further layers of padding protecting the precious cargo. Finally he pulled out was a magazine! This got me even more interested; when a magazine I have ordered or am subscribed to arrives it usually turns up in a clear bag with bent pages.

“(Not my picture) Don’t you wish you could read this classic gem?”.

Then I saw the cover, this was an edition of the “TV Times” from 1991 (doing some research I discovered the date of the magazine is 29 June until 5 July 1991). As he looked through the pages I could see faces popular then who haven’t been seen since. While others are still on TV, a number of them playing the same role. These were that days of 4 terrestrial channels, satellite TV wasn’t as big as it is today. Until he stepped off the train, I wondered why he wanted with such an old magazine. Could he be a collector; did this issue fill a gap on his dusty bulging shelves? Or maybe he is writing a book and this is research about the “quality” entertainment in 1991. Sadly we will never know!

“Its 1991, TV guide porn”.

This really got me thinking about time travel! The early 90s were good! I worked at the BBC, in my spare time I did unpaid work as a stage manager at an amateur theatre that’s regarded as one of the best in the country. Attended parties, went to gigs, and met interesting people. For a couple of years I presented a hospital radio show, music back then (late 80s, early 90s) was really good. The main reason a time machine would be useful is because I was made redundant from the BBC in 1992. With 2018 knowledge I would make better decisions, which might have resulted in me staying at the Beeb or at least having a creative career, instead of ending up in a call centre!

“7.30am, waiting for a tube”.

Of course I live in the real world and realise that time travel into the past is not possible (at the moment). But we are all travellers through time in a sense. We experience time one second (a man-made concept, that far cleverer people can discuss and argue. Remember I’m a call centre monkey who knows nothing) at a time. The future becomes the present, which in turn trails behind as the past. There is no mystical power that can change the future for me, it is only through my decision making that I will escape the hell that is the call centre, and live a creative existence.

“Watching Ghostbusters 2, twice with in 12 hours”.

Of course i will continue to dream of travelling into the past, at least with dreaming I know that anything I do won’t have an effect on today or the future. Whatever the reason for the 1991 magazine, it really got me thinking about the last 27 years. At this late stage in 2018, I’m really hoping that the future will be brighter and better. Also I hope that the publication was as useful to the man, on a couple of vintage magazine sites that particular issues go for a tenner.

“This is what i looked like after spending over 2 hrs on a tube train”.
And Now For Something Completely Different……

This week Stan Lee died at the age of 95. A man responsible for so many memorable characters such as Ant Man, Daredevil and of course Spiderman plus many more.

“Spidey gets everywhere”.

As a child I read the comics, watched the cartoons. These last few years I have enjoyed a number of live action TV series and mega budget films based on his work. One thing that i and others have enjoyed over the years is “Where’s Stan!”. Trying to spot his cameo either in person or a perhaps a picture of him, which would turn up in an unexpected location.

“Anyone fancy a race”.

“Not all superheroes wear capes”. This week we lost such a visionary, an amazing creative mind. Thanks Stan for all the entertainment.
And Finally, The Honestly Section……

“Its been a tough week”.

As a women passed I said to a friend, “Mine swells up a lot”. I was talking about pasta honest!

While on the phone another friend asked what I was doing, I replied “Stroking my Hamster!”. The hamster was running around a crate on my lap, I honestly was “stroking the Hamster”.
One Final Quickie……

“Thanks for reading, please SHARE.”

Overheard a woman at work on the phone. “Give them a whirl” (pause), “Give them a bell” (longer pause) and finally with frustration, “Give them a ring”.

“Writing this shiz, sort of. In bed”.
My Mid Life Crisis Conts……
This week I have mainly been watching:

“12 Monkeys”, (S3, ep 2 to ep 10 ). “Click”, (TX: 10/11/18). “Doctor Who”, (S37/S11, ep 6). “Frasier”, (S2, ep 21 to ep 24)(S4, ep 1 to ep 3). “Ghostbusters 2”, (1989). “Lego Masters”, (S2, ep 2, TX: 13/11/18). “MARVEL: Daredevil”, (S3, ep 1 to ep 13). “People Just Do Nothing”, (S5, ep 1). “Predator”, (2018). “Quickies: Life After Brexit (BBC Three)”, (TX: 26/09/18). “Stacey Dooley: The Young And Homeless”, (TX: 13/11/18). “The Apprentice”, (S14, ep 7, TX: 14/11/18). “The Apprentice: Honest Subtitles”, (S4, ep 7, TX: 14/11/18). “The Apprentice: You’re Fired”, (S13, ep 7, TX: 14/11/18). “The Great Model Railway Challenge”, (S1, ep 6, TX: 09/11/18). “The Inbetweeners Movie”, (2011). “The Last Leg”, (S15, ep 4, TX: 09/11/18). “The Mash Report: Season 1 Best Bits”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 6, TX: 17/10/18). “There She Goes”, (S1, ep 5). “Would I Lie To You”, (S12, ep 5, TX: 09/11/18). “Zapped”, (S3, ep 5).
This week I have mainly been listening to:

“Aggy Fox And Dana Podcast”, (ep 3, 16/11/18). “Brian & Roger”, (S1, Trailer, ep 1 to ep 3, 19/10/18)(ep 4, 24/10/18)(ep 5, 26/10/18)(ep 6, 31/10/18)(ep 7, 02/11/18)(ep 8, 07/11/18)(ep 9 & ep 10, 09/11/18). “Chasing Earhart”, (Audio Trailer 12/11/18). “Griefcast”, (ep 58, 14/11/18). “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (08/11/18). “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (08/11, 09/11, 13/11, 14/11, 15/11/18). “In Poor Taste”, (ep 30, 13/10/15)(ep 31, 26/10/15)(ep 32, 21/11/15)(ep 33, 10/12/15). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (10/11, 16/11/18). “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 71, 16/11/18). “Quick Question”, (S2, ep 12 (ep 26), 22/10/18). “Skeptiod”, (ep 649, 13/11/18). “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 114, 12/11/18). “Strange Times”, (ep 283, 09/11/18)(ep 284, 11/11/18). “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 83, 12/11/18). “The Hitchhickers Guide To The Galaxy”, (S3, ep 5). “True Crime Finland”, (ep 43, 16/11/18). “Morrissey”, “Queen”, “Tears For Fears”, “Johnny Mathis”, “Kate Bush”, “Basment Jaxx”, “Underworld”, “Interpol”, “The Editors”.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East, North East & West London, and Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 229 Saturday 2^nd until Friday 9^th November  2018.

And now, its time for a rant about car park’s.

 “I recycled this pointless pieces of paper”.

Last Sunday I needed to do some shopping, the car park I visit is free that day.  To enter though I still needed to press a button take a ticket for the barrier to lift.  Later when leaving the barrier rose automatically as the car approached.  What was the point of the ticket!  Think of the thousands of pointless tickets issued that day and every Sunday.  We are constantly being told that we need think about waste, saving Earth’s precious resources; this is a good example of needless waste.  There could be a good reason for the tickets, but surely there system could be adjusted so that they are not issued on a free day.  But who am I to comment! I’m a nobody working in a call centre!

 “Heard this man giving a call centre worker hell, i would have loved to say something! I didnt!”

In other car park news.

 “Enjoyed some Sri-Lankian and Indian food this week”.

A couple of nights ago my best friend and I saw the new Halloween film, which was very good.  Because MOZ was with me, I didn’t lose her car (read last week’s blog) in the multi-story.  After the film we hunted around our bags looking for pound coins, while keeping an eye out for any masked lunatic’s brandishing a kitchen knife lurking in the shadows.  Driving down the ramp leading to the outside world we discovered that the barrier was in the “up” position.  We could have exited for free! Couldn’t there be a process that warns drivers that they don’t actually need to pay?  Deep down I felt robbed of four quid, though on the upside I found things in my bag I thought I had lost, and didn’t get killed by an escaped mad man.

And Now For Something Completely Different……

 “MOZ demonstrating her Chicken Wings move”.

You may remember if you have been reading this shiz for a long time that from November 2016 until late September 2017 my best friend and I were doing Aerial Yoga in a basement in Central London.  This is Yoga which uses a sling suspended from the ceiling made of parachute silk.  This came to an end when the instructor packed up and moved to India.

 “I pay good money to be strung up like this”.

A couple of months ago we got word that he was now in Lithuania and coming back to London for a special session (last weekend).  This will hopefully lead to regular monthly classes from January 2019?

 “Never been here before, not sure what else to say……”

Both of us have really missed this form of exercise.  For me I particularly enjoy lying completely enveloped in the sling while it gently swings back and forth.  My signature position however, is hanging upside down with my feet wrapped around the silk holding me above the floor.  The 75 min session came and went far too quickly.  Not only was it lovely to see instructors Richard and Agne again, but others that used to attend the Whitechapel sessions.  Both of us left with a spring in our step and a totally euphoric feeling.  Once a month is never going to be enough, but if that’s what it has to be, then so be it.

 “Billy the puppy, and waterfowl.  Not a good mix”.

And Finally……

 “7.30am, looks pretty”.

It’s early November and I am already seeing full on “big budget” Crimbum ads on TV. Traditionally these have appeared in early December.  Seeing them now just points out how desperate shops are to persuade you / me to spend with them instead of going online.

 “7.45am, looking even nicer”.

Crimbum really does seem to be getting earlier and earlier every year.  Tinsel and tacky gifts start appearing on shelves at the end of August.  I heard this week that a branch of a large corporate coffee shop in a fashionable part of London (I assume all branches have had the same memo) has been told to play seasonal song on a Friday.  I love a festive hit like the next person, but I only want to hear them during the week of holiday.  In the late 90s I worked in a Sci-Fi shop, we were told to play annoyingly happy tunes about snowmen and fat men in red suits, which the staff felt didn’t fit the character of the shop.  Of course when anyone from head office visited we played them loudly, but once the visit was over the CD was changed to something that suited the environment better.  Customers might have preferred the jingling tunes, but they were not there for 8 hours a day.  “The customer is NOT always right”.

 “Visit to the local flee pit.  Something was happening, a red carpet”.

Crimbum is fun for kids! For adults (certainly me) it’s a couple of extra days away from the grind of work.  The celebration takes place over 2 days, it should not last for 6 months.  But I’m not a company owner who is trying to keep things afloat I suppose, but to me it does seem over the top.

There Bah-humbug Grumpy rant over.

 “We remember”.

Oh, One More Thing……

I would to apologise to London Overground passengers a couple of days ago for my Mackerel breathe, which I made worse by eating spicy nuts.  Don’t worry I will be contacting the authorities and handing myself in. “#See it. Say it. Sorted”.

 “Writing this shiz, what a Krunt”.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“12 Monkeys”, (S2, ep 2 to ep 13)(S3, ep 1).  “Click”, (TX: 03/11/18).  “Crow’s Blood”, (S1, ep 1 to 4).  “Doctor Who”, (S37/S11, ep 5).  “Frasier”, (S2, ep 10 to ep 20).  “Halloween”, (1978).  “Halloween”, (2018).  “Have I Got News For You”, (S56, ep 6, TX: 09/11/18).  “Informer”, (S1, ep 5 & ep 6).  “Lego Masters”, (S2, ep 1, TX: 06/11/18).  “Louis Theroux’s: Altered States: Love Without Limits”, (TX: 04/11/18).  “Odd Squad”, (S1, ep 11).  “Our Musical History, Indie And Beyond With Shaun Ryder And Alan Mcgee”, (TX: 02/11/18).  “The Apprentice”, (S14, ep 6, TX: 07/11/18).  “The Apprentice: Honest Subtitles”, (S4, ep 6, TX: 07/11/18).  “The Apprentice: You’re Fired”, (S13, ep 6, TX: 07/11/18).  “The Great Model Railway Challenge”, (S1, ep 5, TX: 02/11/18).  “The Last Leg”, (S15, ep 3, TX: 02/11/18).  “The Mash Report”, (S3, ep 3, TX: 09/11/18).  “There She Goes”, (S1, ep 4).  “Tuckers”, (S1, ep 1).  “Will & Grace”, (S10, ep 5).  “Zapped”, (S3, ep 4).           

This week I have mainly been listening to:  

“Brian Gittens And Friends”, (ep 46, 06/11/18).  “Chasing Earhart”, (ep 65, 04/11/18).  “Griefcast”, (ep 58, 07/11/18).  “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (02/11, 05/11, 06/11, 07/11).  “In Poor Taste”, (ep 34, 23/12/15)(ep 38, 29/01/16).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (08/11/18).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (03/11, 09/11/18).  “NASA: In Silicon Valley LIVE”, (06/11/18).  “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 70, 09/11/18).  “Skeptiod”, (ep 648, 06/11/18).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 113, 05/11/18).  “Strange Times”, (ep 282, 28/10/18).  “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 82, 03/11/18).  “The Hitchhickers Guide To The Galaxy”, (S3, ep 4).  “The Nick Abbot Habit”, (S2, ep 2, 09/11/18).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 66, 04/11/18).  “Morrissey”, “T-Rex”, “King Of Leon”, “Natalie Imbruglia”, “The Halloween Theme”, “Black Grape”, “The Stone Roses”, “Bowie”, “Fun Boy Three”, “The Sex Pistols”.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in Suffolk, Surrey, East and West London (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 228 Saturday 27^thOctober until Friday 2^nd November  2018.

This week could be considered as a Southwold mop-up blog.

If you have been reading this shiz recently you will know that I passed a so-called milestone bday a few weeks ago.  The following incidents could be chalked up to this “Great Age” that I have reached, or just plain stupidity.  The latter is more likely.

  “Just a normal evening in Surrey”.

My natural hair colour is brown (ish), I say this because it’s been dyed a lot over the years so it’s a hotch potch of shades.  Due to being “So Old” I have what can only be described as a set of grey curtain that frame my stunning model (no, not a broken Airfix ® kit) like face (don’t worry I have fingers down my throat when I joke like that).  While in Mozambique I was dying the grey blonde because the sun had lightened the rest of my barnet.  This continued for a while when I returned to the UK, but I soon got bored.  I am not known for making an effort with my appearance, if you looked like this you wouldn’t either.

 “London traffic problems are just getting worse”.

In June I bought some dye for the Ibiza holiday, blonde always looks good in the sun!  For some reason (probably laziness) I didn’t get round to applying it.  During Sept a couple of people reminded me that my cousin Catherine’s wedding was during the annual Southwold family holiday (last week) and I needed to do something about the mess on my head.  Two days before the trip I grabbed the box, mixed the foul smelling eye stinging chemicals and smeared it over my head.  Looking in the mirror briefly it looked a little dark, “but it does while developing, doesn’t it?”.

 “Before”.

It was only after I washed the excess dye out and towel dried my head that I actually saw the final result.  Of course I was expecting to see Kylie, Jennifer Aniston or at a stretch Diana Dors (Google her kids) looking back at me.  I was totally unprepared for what I saw, reaching up I touched my hair just to make sure that what was in front of me was real.  The colour was a reddish brown, under the bathroom light it appeared a very deep purple.  This was when I pulled the box out of the bin, only to see a beautiful woman with the same colour hair smiling back.  How and why did I think this was blonde? All that matters is, I like it, the family liked it and the shade went well with the outfit I planned to wear (the only dress I could actually fit in to).  That was a close call; I really need to take note of small details such as the colour of hair dye.

Speaking of noticing small details! Normally when I drive I am with MOZ after all it’s her car. My friend is very good at remembering where we parked.  Earlier this week I had a day off so visited a HUGE shopping centre which I have driven to hundreds of times.  My carpack of choice is normally D.  After doing my shiz, I spent 10 mins walking around looking like a total numpty trying to find the car.  In the end I actually rang MOZ and joked that her car was missing.  I firmly believe that her car was playing hide and seek with me.  After chatting for a few mins, Sherlock MOZ deduced from what I had told her that I was on the wrong floor. Sure enough there was her car on the second floor.  I am still convinced it wasn’t my fault; the car must have changed floors to confuse me.

 “JBomb on the phone to Santa.  He rang especially to speak to this chap”. 

Seriously, both of these recent events are proof that I need to open my eyes.  Thank the “Great Pumpkin” I am not responsible for anything important, critical or anyone other than myself.  Luckily with both of these incidents no damage occurred, accept maybe my pride. By the way I am thinking of electronically tagging MOZ car just in case he plays that game with me in future.

 “I really wanted to ride this when out shopping”.

And Now For Something Completely Different……

 “Poppies on the front of District Line tubes”.

Last week SAZ and I were wondering around Southwold looking for red onions.  Suddenly we both took a collective gasp as we realised that the man standing next to us was non other than Richard Curtis.  He must have heard the joint intake of breath as he turned on a sixpence and walked away in the opposite direction.  I would have loved to have got a piccy and autograph while handing him a number of short film scripts i have written, but he was off duty.  My niece was confused as to why her mum and aunty were so excited about seeing a man.

 “Aggy and i recording ep 2 of our Podcast”.

P.s a couple of years ago the same trio of sister, niece and myself saw Emma Freud (Mr. Curtis partner) cycling. Do we win a prize for playing “Celebrity Couple Snap”. 

  “Writing this shiz and watching Victoria at the same time”.                                                                                             

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“12 Monkeys”, (S1, ep 13)(S2, ep 1).  “Blue Peter 60^th Birthday Poem”, (TX: 14/10/18).  “Blue Peter: Big 60^th”, (ep 5037, TX: 16/10/18).  “Click”, (TX: 27/10/18).  “Doctor Who”, (S37/S11, ep 4).  “First Dates: Celebrity Special SU2C”, (TX: 25/10/18).  “Frasier”, (S2, ep 7 to ep 9).  “Have I Got News For You”, (S54, ep 5, TX: 02/11/18).  “Horizon 2018”, (ep 11, TX: 25/10/18)(ep 12, 01/11/18).  “In My Skin (pilot)”, (TX: 14/10/18).  “Informer”, (S1, ep 3 & ep 4).  “Inside No9: LIVE”, (TX: 28/10/18).  “Magic Numbers: Hannah Fry’s Mysterious World Of Maths”, (S1, ep 3, TX: 24/10/18).  “Matilda”, (1996).  “Mediterranean With Simon Reeves”, (S1, ep 4, TX: 28/10/18).  “Motorways Life In The Fast Lane”, (S1, ep 4, TX:30/09/14).  “Outnumbered”, (S5, ep 2).  “Strictly Come Dancing”, (S14, ep 6, 27/10/18).  “The Apprentice”, (S14, ep 5, TX: 31/10/18).  “The Apprentice: Honest Subtitles”, (S4, ep 5, TX: 31/10/18).  “The Apprentice: You’re Fired”, (S13, ep 5, TX: 31/10/18).  “The First”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 8).  “The Graham Norton Show”, (S24, ep 6, TX: 02/11/18).  “The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice”, (S2 (S5), ep 10, TX: 02/11/18).  “The Great British Bake Off”, (S2 (S9), ep 10, TX: 30/10/18).  “The Mash Report”, (S3, ep 2, TX: 02/11/18).  “The Secret Story Of Stuff: Materials Of The Modern Age”, (TX: 31/10/18).  “There She Goes”, (S1, ep 3).  “Will & Grace”, (S10, ep 1 to ep 4).  “Zapped”, (S3, ep 3).           

This week I have mainly been listening to:  

“Aggy Fox And Dana Podcast”, (ep 1, 20/10/18)(ep 2, 03/11/18). “Chasing Earhart”, (ep 64, 28/10/18).  “Griefcast”, (ep 57, 31/10/18).  “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (01/11/18).  “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (25/10, 26/10, 29/10, 31/10, 01/11/18).  “In Poor Taste”, (35, 01/01/16)(ep 36, 08/01/16)(ep 37, 17/01/16).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (01/11/18).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (27/10, 02/11/18).  “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 69, 02/11/18).  “Skeptiod”, (ep 647, 30/10/18).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 112, 29/10/18).  “Strange Times”, (ep 280, 21/10/18)(ep 281, 27/10/18).  “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 81, 27/10/18).  “The Hitchhickers Guide To The Galaxy”, (S2, ep 4 to ep 6)(S3, ep 1 to ep3).  “True Crime Finland”, (ep 33, 02/11/18).  “Morrissey”, “Mamas And Papas”, “Wilson Phillips, Supergrass”, “Zoe”, “Bananarama”, “New Order”, “The Cure”.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in Surrey, Suffolk and Northamptonshire (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 227 Saturday 20^thuntil Friday 26^th October 2018.

SOUTHWOLD HOLIDAY SPECIAL.

This week is the annual visit to Southwold in Suffolk, with Mum, Helen, SAZ, Tim and Anoodle and JBomb.
Due to being on holiday i haven’t written anything, so instead here are some pictures of the week.

“Such a pretty location beside the sea”.

“Plenty of time spent on the pier, this week”.

“Someone might have had a drink”.

“Cheers mum”.

“We have had wonderful views of the moon this week”.
And Now For Something Completely Different……
Congratulations to cuz Catherine who married Charlie this week. SAZ, Tim and myself were able to celebrate with them.
.

“Catherine and Charlie, Aunty Jean and Bob”.

“Drinking in the Lambing Shed”.
And Finally……

“Putting this shiz together in the back of the car”.
Next Week normal service will resume.
My Mid Life Crisis Conts……
This week I have mainly been watching:
“Babe”, (1995). “Celebrity Hunted”, (S2, ep 2, TX: 23/10/18). “Click”, (TX: 20/10/18). “Despicable Me 2”, (2013). “Doctor Who”, (S37/S11, ep 3). “Have I Got News For You”, (S54, ep 3, TX: 19/10/18)(ep 4, TX: 26/10/18). “Horizon 2018”, (ep 10, TX: 18/10/18). “Informer”, (S1, ep 1 & ep 2). “Mediterranean With Simon Reeves”, (S1, ep 3, TX: 21/10/18). “Motorways Life In The Fast Lane”, (S1, ep 3, TX: 21/09/14). “Strictly Come Dancing”, (S16, ep 5, 20/10/18). “Strictly Come Dancing The Results”, (S16, ep 5, TX: 21/10/18). “Strictly-It Takes Two”, (S16, ep 23, TX: 24/10/18). “The Apprentice”, (S14, ep 4, TX: 24/10/18). “The Apprentice: Honest Subtitles”, (S4, ep 1, TX: 03/10/18)(ep 2, TX: 10/10)(ep 3, TX: 17/10)(ep 4, TX: 24/10). “The Apprentice: You’re Fired”, (S13, ep 4, TX: 24/10/18). “The Graham Norton Show”, (S24, ep 4, TX:19/10/18)(ep 5, TX: 26/10/18). “The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice”, (S2 (S5), ep 9, TX: 25/10/18). “The Great British Bake Off”, (S2 (S9), ep 9, TX: 23/10/18). “The Great Model Railway Challenge”, (S1, ep 4, TX: 26/10/18). “The Mash Report”, (S3, ep 1, TX: 25/10/18). “There She Goes”, (S1, ep 2). “Walking Britain’s Lost Railways”, (S1, ep 5, TX: 19/10/18). “Zapped”, (S3, ep 1& ep 2).
This week I have mainly been listening to:
“Angelos And Barry”, (24/10/18). “Anti Social Show”, (ep 61, 20/10/18). “Griefcast”, (ep 56, 24/10/18). “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (19/10, 22/10, 23/10, 24/10, 25/10/18). “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (19/10, 25/10/18). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (26/10/18). “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 68, 26/10/18). “NASA: In Silicon Valley”, (ep 19/10/18). “NASA: Rocket Ranch”, (ep 5, 25/10/18). “Quick Question”, (S2, ep 12 (ep 26) 21/10/18). “Skeptiod”, (ep 646, 23/10/18). “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 111, 21/10/18). “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 80, 20/10/18). “The Hitchhickers Guide To The Galaxy”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 6)(S2, ep 1 to ep 3). “True Crime Finland”, (ep 32, 19/10/18). “Morrissey”, “Lots of Beach FM”, “Queen”, “UB40”, “Smiths”.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in Northamptonshire, East and West London an Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).
Week 226 Saturday 13^thuntil Friday 19^th October 2018.

“Happy B’Day this week to my Mum, love ya xxxx“
This week my best friend MOZ and I adopted a four month old female Hamster. A couple of weeks ago we were in a large pet superstore, just mooching not there for any reason. When we passed the adoption centre we saw a number of rabbits, guinea pigs, chinchillas and other balls of fur needing loving homes. This is When we spotted two dwarf hamsters living next to each other (looking like cellmates divided by a wall) called Jupiter and Aries who caught our attention. Over the next couple of weeks we popped in again, as well as looking them up on the website. Of course we weren’t really going to get adopt a hamster! Then Jupiter disappeared off the website leaving Aries on her own. Last Monday MOZ asked if I wanted to meet her at the shop in the evening. We really were adopting a Hamster!

“My little girl, and her new home”.
Both of us have experience with Hammies. A long time ago I had a tiny South London bruiser who had lots of attitude. MOZ actually found a one rummaging around in the gutter of her road. Once rescued he lived a happy life being loved and eating cooked sprouts covered in gravy (once he tasted a cooked one the raw ones were never good enough). Both are buried in her garden, they may have been small and physically in our lives for a short time, but both are fondly remembered.

“MOZ having quality time with our Tribble”.
In the shop we bought everything that a young hamster needs. Aries now lives in a huge multi-level home. Setting this up was as frustrating as building Scandi flat pack furniture. My constant worry was that she might nibble her way out of the temporary box that she was transported in. I can report that she didn’t, and came out straight away once the box was opened to explore her new world.

“wet in Northamptonshire, and West London”.
The next evening I was even more annoyed by the normal tube delays, because this was shortening the amount of time I would spend with Aries. Once home the first thing I did was to check if the small sand coloured fluffy baby was awake. Aries is so small that she can sit in her food bowl and eat around herself. When I see her like that she reminds me of a “Tribble” from “Star Trek”. Inside the cage the first floor is separated by a large gap with ramps leading to the sawdust floor. This hamster is a little bit of a daredevil and likes to climbs across the divide by gripping on to the cage. Hopefully she will get used to using the ramps and realise that she can travel without breaking a sweat. The cage/house has a number of surprise sections made up of tubes that she has not discovered yet, I am looking forward to when she does make her way through them.

“Visited Kettering, and thought i broken mums TV”.
I can only speak for myself, but this week I have spent a lot of time laying on the floor watching and talking to her. We also have a ball for her to climb inside so she can roll around the room. Both previous hamsters enjoyed this, Aries being an adventurer and will definitely have fun roaming around at floor level.

“Read on, this man made me move seats”.
This little baby has already changed our lives. I hope that we have changed her life for the better.
And Finally Now For Something Completely Different……

“I just thought the sign was funny”.
Walked in the rain while “up north” to the cash point. It was only when I pulled the plastic out I realised it was the wrong card (being clever, I didn’t bring my bag). Yes you guessed correct, I walked the 10 minutes back to mums, picked up the correct card and returned. I’m sure the man behind the counter did a double take as I crossed the forecourt looking even soggier than 30 mins before.

“I thought it was blonde, say no more”.
Driven to MK station by a cab driver called Mr Jolly, who was nothing like the character in “Psychoville”. Once at the station that’s when I discovered it was the SLOW train. (Note to self, must check route when booking ticket’s in future). I won’t waste a lot of time mentioning the knob on the train that wouldn’t stop talking and asking me stupid questions. In the end I had to move when his chat became racist. The look on his face when I told him I am part foreign was priceless.

“Anoodle, Carol (the pillow) and Niki providing the glamour”.
And Finally……

“Dan, Eric and Will what a great night”.
Ever been on a tube train where the driver threatens to cancel the service because people keep obstructing the door. Earlier this week I could hear that the train operator was rightly getting more and more annoyed that his service was being delayed. In the end he actually shouted “right, everybody off”. The looks on faces around must have mirrored mine. However after a couple of seconds we were finally on the move. I like to think that the numpty causing the obstruction moved there large arse from the doors due to the looks from other passengers.
NEXT WEEK……

“Someone near work, has pointed out all the chewing gum on the pavement”.
It’s the annual Southwold holiday special. This will consist of eating lots of chips, the odd drink, visiting the sweet shop and Tim’s roast. Walking in the countryside, on the beach and pier while everyone will be spotting the lighthouse. There is also a very special family wedding.

“Writing this shiz, but being distracted by 13“. My Mid Life Crisis Conts……
This week I have mainly been watching:
“12 Monkeys”, (S1, ep 2 to ep 12. “An American Werewolf In London”, (1981). “Autumnwatch (2018): New England, (ep 1, TX: 15/10)(ep 2, TX 16/10)(ep 3, TX: 17/10)(ep 4, TX: 18/10/18). “Celebrity Juice”, (S20, ep 5, TX: 11/10/18). “Click”, (TX: 13/10/18). “Doctor Who”, (S37/S11, ep 2). “Fraser”, (S2, ep 3 & ep 6). “Magic Numbers: Hannah Fry’s Mysterious World Of Maths”, (S1, ep 2, TX: 17/10/18). “Mediterranean With Simon Reeves”, (S1, ep 2, TX: 14/10/18). “Outsiders”, (TX: 10/10/18). “Peter Kay’s Comedy Shuffle”, (S3, ep 1, TX: 15/10/18). “Strictly Come Dancing”, (S16, ep 4, 13/10/18). “Supernatural”, (S13, ep 16 Scoobynatural). “The Apprentice”, (S14, ep 3, TX: 17/10/18). “The Apprentice: You’re Fired”, (S13, ep 3, TX: 17/10/18). “The Bisexual”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 4). “The Graham Norton Show”, (S24, ep 3, TX: 11/10/18). “The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice”, (S2 (S5), ep 8, TX: 19/10/18). “The Great British Bake Off”, (S2 (S9), ep 8, TX: 16/10/18). “The Great Model Railway Challenge”, (S1, ep 3, TX: 19/10/18). “The Last Leg”, (S15, ep 2, TX: 19/10/18). “There She Goes”, (S1, ep 1). “The Orville”, (S1, ep1 to ep 5). “The Sky AT Night”, (TX: 14/10/18).
This week I have mainly been listening to:
“Brian Gitten’s And Friends”, (ep 45, 17/10/18). “Chasing Earhart”, (ep 13, 22/10/17)(ep 15, 05/11/17)(ep 63, 14/10/18). “Griefcast”, (ep 21, 31/01/18)(ep 22, 07/02/18)(ep 23, 14/02/18)(ep 55, 17/10/18). “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (16/10, 17/10/18). “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (11/10, 12/10, 15/10, 16/10, 17/10/18). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (13/10, 19/10/18). “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 66, 12/10)(ep 67, 19/10/18). “NASA: In Silicon Valley”, (ep 48, 29/06/17)(ep 50, 14/07/17)(ep 53, 03/08/17)(LIVE 16/10/18). “Skeptiod”, (ep 645, 16/10/18). “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 110, 15/10/18). “Treasure Quest (BBC Three Counties Radio)”, (13/10/18). “Morrissey”, “Irene Cara”, “T-Rex”, “SIA”, “The Foo Fighters”, “Suede”, “Pulp”, “Soft Cell”, “The La’s”, “Stereophonics”, “Bronski Beat”, “The Thompson Twin”.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East, West and Central London, Surrey and Northamptonshire (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 225 Saturday 6^th until Friday 12^th October 2018.

If you have read this over ramble over the last four years you may know I love Sci-Fi of, from million dollar movies to television shows filmed in a gravel pit in Surrey.  My favourite programme which I have watched since the age of five is “Doctor Who”.   I could go on for multiple paragraphs about how and why I love the show, telling you about the actors I have met, when I watched the programme actually being recorded, helped organised conventions and the piles of books and other merchandise which costs me a fortune in storage monthly.

 “One day, i hope to meet the real 13“. 

Last Sunday the programme returned starting Season 37(since 1963) or Season 11 if you discovered the show when it returned in 2005.  Whenever a new series commences there is anticipation about what stories are coming, who is the Doctor going to meet and how many times they might save the universe with nothing but a spoon and / or the Sonic Screwdriver.  But things get extra special when a new actor takes over the role, how are they going to portray this well loved established character that has been a staple of British TV since the early 60’s, that is now is a worldwide phenomenon.

 “Jbomb, watching 13“.

All 12 (there are a couple of other incarnation of the Doctor, which I don’t count them among the main list. However I don’t want to wash “Whovians” dirty laundry here) actors up to 2017 were white men!  That’s just who the Doctor has always been! Who else is going to play the character, a shop mannequin!  This all changed on 16 July 2017 when Jodie Whittaker was announced as the 13th Doctor.  While watching the short teaser film I became five years old all over again, so excited about the future of the programme I really do love.  Almost immediately there were people venting on social media saying, “They will never watch again,” (I bet they watched last Sunday), “This is political correctness gone wrong” and “What were the BBC thinking of, and who sold them the drugs they were on when they made this decision?”.  I have no right to judge anyone, but come on people give Jodie a chance.  There has been talk of a female lead as far back as the 1980s, but it was just that, talk!  These comments appeared in interviews probably conducted while propping up the BBC bar on the 4th floor of the much missed Television Centre I suspect.

“Having trouble with my droid”.

I’ll be honest; I have been looking forward to this series more than any other in recent years.  The gender of the lead actor doesn’t mean anything personally; all I want is the best actor to bring the character to life.  One thing that is so important is that half of the audience now have a lead actor that looks a little like them, someone that they can associate with.  Girls and women watching the show will now see that a woman is as good as man running up and down corridors, fighting evil while saving planets.  Admittedly my six year old niece would rather as she put its “Watch the boy Doctor” but in time I am sure she will come to love 13 as much as I already do after only one episode.  They say that 13 is an unlucky number, I think for old and new fans 13 is going to be a very lucky indeed.

  “Back seat driving up north”.

Last Sunday evening I sat on the carpet as if I was five years old soaking every second up.  When Jodie as the Doctor said that name for the first time (at 51.00 mins, time code fans) I felt a wave of excitement I haven’t felt before watching the show.  Sunday nights have always been boring, partly because of the thought of work / school the next day but for the next 10 weeks things are going to be “Brilliant”.

 “Who puts a wet brolly on a seat.  This fool does”.

And Finally Now For Something Completely Different……

 “But which way”.

I am currently on antibiotics, because of a b’day gift.  The prezzie in question was an additional piercing in my ear.  Everything was good until the start of this week when the top of the ear started to glows brighter than a beacon in thick fog.  Many of you including my mum (when she sees it this coming weekend) would say “take it out”.

  “Early morning in East London”.

I’ve always had problems with piercings.  My noses was pierced about five years ago, but before that there were a number of attempts including once having it pierced in the office by a colleague with a home kit.  I just don’t heal well!  Hopefully this time next week I’ll still have two ears and ill post a picture for you.

  “Wondering if the shop would notice if  this went missing”.

And Finally…… 

  “Yum!”.

MOZ and I went for a meal at a fave London pub which also does great Thai food.  Just before we left, I popped to the loo.  When I returned there was a strange bag on the seat I had been sitting on and a women squeezing between the tables.  It seems that the women had asked if we were leaving, but didn’t want to wait for us to actually vacate before starting to park her wide load.

 “It would have been wrong not to!”.

I should have picked up her bag, replanted my cheeks against the material and left a smell that really would have put Thai food for ever.

 “Writing this shiz, while watching Jodie”.                              My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“12 Monkeys”, (S1, ep 1).  “Click”, (TX: 06/10/18).  “Doctor Who”, (S37/S11, ep 1).  “Drowning In Plastic”, (TX: 01/10/18).  “Fraser”, (S1, ep 3, ep 24)(S2, ep 1 & ep 2).  “Have I Got News For You”, (S56, ep 2, TX: 12/10/18).  “Horizon 2018”, (ep 8, TX: 04/10/18)(ep 9, TX: 10/10/18).  “King Of Thieves”, (2018).  “Krypton”, (S1, ep 9 & ep 10).  “Magic Numbers: Hannah Fry’s Mysterious World Of Maths”, (S1, ep 1, TX: 10/10/18).  “MARVEL: Iron Fist”, (S2, ep 5 to ep 10).  “Mediterranean With Simon Reeves”, (S1, ep 1, TX: 07/10/18).  “Motorway Life In The Fast Lane”, (S1, ep 1, TX: 09/09/14)(ep 2, TX: 16/09/14).  “Stacey Dooley Investigates”, (TX: 08/10/18).  “The Apprentice”, (S14, ep 2, TX: 10/10/18).  “The Apprentice: You’re Fired”, (S13, ep 2, TX: 10/10/18).  “The Graham Norton Show”, (S24, ep 2, TX: 05/10/18)(ep 3, TX: 12/10/18).  “The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice”, (S2 (S5), ep 7, TX: 12/10/18).  “The Great British Bake Off”, (S2 (S9), ep 7, TX: 09/10/18).  “The Great Model Railway Challenge”, (S1, ep 1, TX: 05/10/18)(ep 2, TX: 12/10/18).  “The Last Leg”, (S15, ep 1, TX: 12/10/18).  “This Country: The Aftermath”, (TX: 10/10/18).  “Walking Britain’s Lost Railway’s”, (S1, ep 3, TX: 05/10/18)(ep 4, TX: 12/10/18).          

This week I have mainly been listening to:  

“Anti Social Show”, (ep 60, 05/10/18).  “BBFC”, (ep 32, 03/09/15)(ep 54, 13/07/16)(ep 55, 28/07/16)(ep 62, 06/12/16)(ep 65, 28/02/17).  “Chasing Earhart”, (ep 62, 06/10/18).  “Griefcast”, (ep 54, 10/10/18).  “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (09/10/18).  “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (05/09 x 2, 08/10, 09/10, 10/10/18).  “In Poor Taste”, (ep 39, 23/02/16)(ep 40, 08/03/16)(ep 41, 07/04/16)(ep 42, 25/04/16)(ep 43, 12/05/16).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (11/10/18).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (06/09, 12/10/18).  “Quick Question”, (S2, ep 11 (ep 25) 08/10/18).  “Skeptiod”, (ep 605, 09/01/18)(ep 606, 16/01/18)(ep 644, 09/10/18).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 109, 08/10/18).  “Strange Times”, (ep 279, 07/10/18).  “Morrissey”, “Skunk Anansie”, “ELO”, “Lady Gaga”, “Lorde”, “Electric Six”, “David Gray”, “PJ Harvey”, “MGMT”.        

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East & West London, Kent and Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 224 Saturday 29^th September until Friday 5^th October 2018.

I don’t blow my trumpet often; I tried once and was told by a very nice constable to never do that again otherwise I would end up in A&E.  But it was my bday this week.  This is partly why I don’t have much in the way of content (it’s also been very busy at work).

 “Emmmm, cake”.

In many people’s eyes I’ve reached a milestone year, personally I’m surprised I have made it this far.  On the big day MOZ and I drove to Rochester, there was no pressure to do anything.  Highlights of the day were spending time with my best friend, eating cake, finishing season 10 of “Friends” and looking through a telescope in the garden.  Plus, finding out that in early November MOZ and I will be doing Ariel Yoga again.

  “The party had started”.

Until this week I’d never had a bday party, this all changed when I arrived at my sister’s house the day after.  For a couple of hours I was spoilt like a princess, all be it an old, fat, large bottomed wrinkly (no! I don’t have a wrinkly bottom, I mean wrinkles on the face) princess, but still a princess.  We partied, eating home cooked food and cake that Anoodle chose.  And of course, I still danced like a loon around the living room.

   “Lovely decoration and great cake”.

Big thanks to in no particular order to.  Sigrida for the message from her family.  Chatting with Mum, who told me the story of how she wanted to finish her Pilchard curry and watch “Coronation Street” before going to hospital to have me.  Catching up with Helen.  Big love to MOZ, SAZ, Tim, Anoodle and JBomb for a wonderful couple of days.   And far too many people who said nice things on “The Book of Faces”.

   “Bday in Kent”.

Next week I PROMISE this ramble will be back to normal.  All the usual complaining that you have come to know and love!  If you have a topic that you would like me to moan about then please contact,

comeupwithyourowncontent-nowonderonlyafewpeoplereadthis_shiz.cock.UcaKe

 “Another possible exploding cake”.

And Finally, Now For Something Completely Different……

 “Which boat have you bought me as a prezzie”.

While at work I heard someone behind me say “John Cleese”, a comedy GOD was filming just outside of the office.  But because I was having far too much fun talking BollX to unhappy people about money that they haven’t paid, I didn’t go outside.  “I chose poorly”.

Ingenious use of a beauty product of the week……

 “Emmmm, cake”.

Passing a hairdresser, I saw an employee waving a hairdryer about blowing leaves and other shiz on the pavement outside.  The electrical lead was pulled tight going back through the doorway waiting to grot any customer or employee trying to pass.  Seeing this made me smile, not the grotting idea!  But the novel use of the hairdryer.

 “Attempting to write this Shiz”.                                        My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“Bargain Hunt (BBC Music Day!)”, (S51, ep 4, TX: 28/09/18).  “Click”, (TX: 29/10/18).  “Don’t Tell The Bride”, (S14, ep 8, TX: 03/10/18).  “First Dates Hotel”, (S3, ep 5, TX: 02/10/18).  “Fraser”, (S1, ep 1, ep 2).  “Friends”, (S9, ep 19 & ep 24)(S10, ep 1 to ep 18).  “Have I Got News For You”, (S56, ep 1, TX: 05/10/18).  “Jack Whitehall: Travels With My Father”, (S2, ep 1 to ep 5).  “Krypton”, (S1, ep 8).  “Later…. With Jools Holland”, (S53, ep 1, 29/09/18).  “MARVEL: Iron Fist”, (S2, ep 1 to ep 4).  “Sence8”, (S2, ep 8 to ep 12).  “The Apprentice”, (S14, ep 1, TX: 03/10/18).  “The Apprentice: You’re Fired”, (S14, ep 1, TX: 03/10/18).  “The Graham Norton Show”, (S24, ep 1, TX: 28/09/18).  “The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice”, (S2 (S5), ep 6, TX: 05/10/18).  “The Great British Bake Off”, (S2 (S9), ep 6, TX: 05/10/18).  “Travelman: 48hrs in…”, (S7, ep 4, TX: 01/10/18).  “Upstart Crow”, (S1, ep 6).       

This week I have mainly been listening to:  

“1/3 Of An Hour”, (S1, ep 4 to ep 6, 08/06/17)(S2, ep 1, 11/07/17)(ep 2, 29/07/17)(ep  3, 03/08/17)(ep 4, 10/08/17).  “BBFC”, (ep 57, 08/09/16)(ep 59, 28/10/16)(ep 60, 31/10/16).  “Chasing Earhart”, (ep 61, 29/10/18).  “Griefcast”, (ep 53, 03/10/18).  “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (02/10/18).  “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (28/09, 01/10, 02/10, 03/10, 05/10/18).  “In Poor Taste”, (ep 44, 01/06/16).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (04/10/18).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (30/09, 05/10/18).  “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 65, 05/10/18).  “NASA: In Silicon Valley: LIVE”, (03/10/18).  “Skeptiod”, (ep 643, 01/10/18).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 108, 01/10/18).  “Strange Times”, (ep 278, 22/09/18).  “The Nick Abbot Habit”, (S2, ep 1, 01/10/18).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 65, 04/10/18).  “True Crime Finland”, (ep 31, 05/10/18).  “Morrissey”, “Bastelle”, “Toad The Wet Sprocket”, “The Connells”, “Placebo”, “Interpol”, “Elbow”, “Hole”, “Soft Cell”, “M.I.A”.        

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in Northamptonshire, East & West London and Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 223 Saturday 22^nd until Friday 28^th September 2018.

This might be regarded as “old news” because I posted on Facebook ® last week, but thought I’d like to mention it here to a wider audience.
“What is the etiquette in this situation”.

“So beautiful being home”.
I plonked my lardy arse in a corporate coffee shop at a major London train station because I was travelling “up north” for a couple of days. The reason I picked that seat was because a plug point was underneath, I am always looking for somewhere I can power small electronic devices, yes I’m addicted to small screens. As I rummaged in my bag, a women sat down on the other side of the small table. She had not inquired if I had someone with me who might be in the queue for a drink. Or maybe a friend was travelling with me and was late.

“I’m no fashion expert, and neither was this lady”.
As I reached under the seat holding my plug, the women’s hand appeared also holding a plug and actually tried to push my hand out of the way. What was odd was that there was another socket a couple of inches to the right. For once I stood my ground (I prefer an easy life, so tend not to fight back) and inserted the plug pin’s into the three small holes. Of course the women used the other socket; the result of this was her lead was technically between my legs. Before my train I thought I would relax after another busy boring week by bingeing on shiz I enjoy. Unfortunately I had to crank up volume because the woman who was now leaning back in the plastic chair started to conduct a very loud conversation on her phone. The fact that I could hear her conversation over the programme wasn’t the worst of it, she then relaxed completely by putting both feet up next to me on the seat.

“How rude!”.
Confrontation is not something I like, on the inside I was giving her “evils”, but outside I continued stare at the tablet as if nothing was wrong. It must be thirsty work talking rubbish very loudly because when the call ended the women got up to buy a drink. Before making her way to queue she attracted my attention and asked (nicely) if I would watch the external power pack resting on the table connected to the wire between my legs.

“Interesting way to leave your morning cuppa”.
After about 30 seconds, I realised that my train was due to leave soon. This plunged me into a moral dilemma. Do I be a caring, conscientious, good citizen and wait for her to return! Or just leave! Without thinking i grabbed my bags and rushed out never looking behind me. Making my way through the crowded rush hour station concourse, I did worry that if the power pack had gone missing by the time she returned she might think it was me and hunt me down. Whether the power pack got stolen or not, I have no idea, is it wrong to say I don’t care? Not long later, I sped out of the capital towards green fields.

“#EveryLoveMatters on platform 3, leaves in one minutes”.
I am far from perfect! I am queen of making errors and mistakes! I annoy the people around me constantly, but for some reason they still call me a friend. I am many things, but one thing I hope I am not is rude! If I had been that women I‘d have asked if the seat was free, aimed the plug for the empty socket. And definitely wouldn’t have put feet up on the seat.

“You will read to the end”.
If you know what the etiquette is in a situation like this please let me know. Send your email to,
Iwouldhavetoldthesillycowtogetherfeetofthechair-andshutup.coke.UcaKe
And Now For Something Completely Different……

“JBomb auditioning for Strickly”.
After spending a couple of days at mums, I took a bus to Milton Keynes. Smiling I told the driver where I wanted to go, he smiled back and moved his head slightly as if he had a tic. Not understanding I stood my ground holding £4.50 ready to pay. The driver continued to smile and nodded his head clearly in the direction of the interior of the bus. That’s when the penny dropped. I would like to think that my Jedi powers influenced him to allow me on without paying. I better keep practicing maybe one day they will really work.

“Hel and I didn’t expect to see Southwold in Northamptonshire”
At the train station I stepped off and smiled saying “thank you”, I’m not used to people being nice like that. It really was very sweet of him. I didn’t look back just in case he was taking a picture of my lardy arse for the depo notice board for “Biggest BUM Of The Week”. Seriously though it was a very kind gesture, I was flattered.
And Finally……

“The invasion, has begun”.
Spoke to “Lilly Allen’s” tour manager, was tempted to ask A/ for an autograph and B/ a job. I didn’t with either.
Also spoke to a woman who worked on both “Mamma Mia” (and other) films.
This Week’s First’s……

“Fog hiding the way forward”.
Frost in the park. Fog in Surrey and smoky breath when I breathed out early in the morning.

“Frosty morning”.
My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

“Trying to write this shiz, while stuff my tum”.
This week I have mainly been watching:
“Click”, (TX: 22/09/18). “Defending The Guilty (PILOT)”, (TX: 19/09/18). “Don’t Tell The Bride”, (S14, ep 7, TX: 26/09/18). “Friends”, (S9, ep 3 & ep 18). “King Arthur’s Britain: The Truth Unearthed”, (TX: 16/09/18). “Krypton”, (S1, ep 6). “Maniac”, (S1, ep 6 to ep 10). “Michael Palin In North Korea”, (S1, ep 2, TX: 27/09/18). “Sacred Games”, (S1, ep 1). “Sence8”, (S2, ep 1 to ep7). “Stacy Dooley: Face To Face With Armageddon”, (TX: 18/09/18). “Strictly Come Dancing”, (S16, ep 2, TX: 22/09/18). “The Apprentice: Meet The Candidates”, (S14, ep 1, TX: 25/09/18). “The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice”, (S2 (S5), ep 5, TX: 27/09/18). “The Great British Bake Off”, (S2 (S9), ep 5, TX: 25/09/18). “The OA”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 8). “Travelman: 48hrs in…”, (S7, ep 3, TX: 23/09/18). “Upstart Crow”, (S1, ep 5). “Walking Britain’s Lost Railways”, (S1, ep 1, TX: 22/09/18)(ep 2, TX: 28/09/18).
This week I have mainly been listening to:
“Brian Gittens And Friends (LIVE)”, (ep 44, 28/09/18). “Chasing Earhart”, (ep 60, 23/09/18). “Griefcast”, (ep 24, 21/02/18)(ep 52, 25/09/18). “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (21/09, 24/09, 25/09, 26/09, 27/09). “In Poor Taste”, (ep 45, 27/06/16)(ep 46, 28/06/16). “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (27/09/18). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (22/09, 28/09/18). “NASA: Gravity Assist”, (25/09/18). “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 64, 28/09/18). “NASA: Rocket Ranch”, (ep 4, 25/09/18). “Quick Question”, (S2, ep 10 (ep 24), 24/09/18). “Shsun Keveny (Jodie Whittaker)”, (BBC 6 Music)(27/09/18). “Skeptiod”, (ep 642, 25/09/18). “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 106, 14/09/18)(ep 107, 24/09/18). “The Angelos And Barry Podcast”, (REWIND)(rpt 25/09/18). “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 64, 28/09/18). “Treasure Quest”, (BBC Three Counties Radio)(22/09/18). “Morrissey”, “Alanis Morissette”, “Nick Cave”, “The Artic Monkeys”, “The Polyphonic Spree”, “Alt-J”, “4 Non Blondes”, “MGMT”.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East & West and Central London, Essex, Northamptonshire and Hertfordshire (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 222 Saturday 15^th until Friday 21^st September 2018.

Last weekend was very busy rushing up and down the M1, M25 and my personal fave the M40.  During those couple of days I sat stationery in a number of very traditional British traffic jams hoping that break lights in front would disappear signalling that everything was on the move again.  My visit “up north” was far too fleeting, once again.

  “Thanks Helen for having me this weekend”.

Something I have realised is that I just don’t have “time”, for anything I really want or have to do.  This is how I have come to the conclusion that I need a P.A to allow me to do the “important” things in life.  It’s late September and I still haven’t done any of the creative objectives planned a while ago.  I lead a busy mundane life, getting up early for work and returning late and when I do arrive home I’m knackered with only time to fill my face and numb the grey matter by watching flickering images before bed.

  “Its always so peaceful beside the canal”.

Every week I speak to P.A’s who call because there boss is too busy doing “executive” things to ring themselves.  One of them actually said that she thought it was a cheek because she hadn’t worked for the manager long and felt uncomfortable ringing.  From the way she spoke it wouldn’t surprise me that as well as making tea, she would feed him the warm drink with a teaspoon! Cut the crusts off his sandwiches! And shake stray drops of his winky!

 “Someone parked in a well known local Dogging location”.

Going to the loo is one thing i am capable of doing all on my own.  But an assistant could do lots of other so-called important things, such us sitting in the office for 8 hrs a day, eating pointless snacks just to exercise the mouth and stare pointlessly out of the window.  It would also be nice if they could stand in the corner of a packed train carriage with sweat dribbling down there back making them feel self-conscious and uncomfortable.  Having someone else do all these boring jobs would allow me time to draw and paint as well as sort out my storage shiz which would mean I actually might achieve something in this rather pointless existence I call life.  Plus I would get to spend more time with family.

  “I found some great accommodation “up north”, and people are so trusting”. 

Yes I need a P.A, if you think you’re the kind of person who can sit on their arse and eat all day then send a C.V to p.a.toalardyarsednohoperwhothinksthere-creative.cock.UcaKe

   “I wonder what famous bottom has used the same seat as me”.

Emmmm, pay! That could be a problem! Tell you what I’ll rethink this and get back to you. In the meantime maybe I should get off my lardy behind and get on with things.

And Now For Something Completely Different……

  “I’ve grown up watching entertainment produced inside these buildings”. 

Last weekend I visited Elstree film studios, where many of my fave tv series and films have been produced.  Standing in the the access road beside studios 7, 8 and 9 I could imagine the crew rushing around looking important holding clipboards.  While actors in costume remembered there lines.  I get very excited at any opportunity to visit a studio, and if there is a chance to peer behind the scenic doors and glimpse, sets, cameras and other pieces of equipment than that visit becomes even more special.  I hope that I get another chance to visit and manage to look behind the sound proof doors.

  “Two shows i don’t watch, but one is more impressive than the other”.

On a couple occasion i had to step aside as golf buggies took people in the direction of the “Big Brother” house (which didn’t impress).  A couple of cars pulling trailers with old vehicles strapped on the back which (and I have no proof of this) went in the direction of the stages where “The Crown” is currently filming.

  “Currently inside uncle Georges two stages are “Strictly” and “The Crown”.

I also visited the huge Tesco next door because where the in store fishmonger is where the Ewok village was built for Star Wars: Return Of The Jedi in 1983.  The supermarket in situated on land that used to be part of the studio complex.

  “I am definitely no “Saint”. 

Friends Highlight Of The Week……

  “I am deffo NOT a celebrity”.

Highlight of the week, was meeting my friend George who I have known for 37/38 yrs in central London.  As well as catching up on news, we were trying to remember names of comedy writers who passed a long time ago.  Look forward to another session.

Thank you George and Fiona for the beautiful gift.

  “2018’s Budgie and Phantom reunion”.

And Finally……
 “Grandma on the left, Dad on the right in the last century”.

Spoke to a lovely older couple on a county bus to Northampton who had just seen “Warhorse” in Milton Keynes.  The women was the spitting image of my mum’s mother, she really did look liked my grandmother.  Speaking to them about areas in London we had in common helped the journey pass quickly.

 “Writing this shiz, while enjoying a bag of Radishes”.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

 “One last pic of Elstree”.

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“Click”, (TX: 16/09/18).  “Constantine”, (S1, ep 2).  “Friends”, (S8, ep 5 to ep 25)(S9, ep 1 & ep 2).  “Have I Got A Bit More News For You”, (S46, ep 10, TX: 13/12/13).  “Killing Eve”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 8).  “Krypton”, (S1, ep 5).  “Lara Croft: Tomb Raider”, (2001).  “Luke McQueen Comedy Pilot”, (S1, ep 2, TX: 12/09/18)(ep 3, 09/09/18).  “Maniac”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 5).  “Michael Palin In North Korea”, (S1, ep 1, TX: 20/09/18).  “Star Trek III: The Search For Spock”, (1984).  “The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice”, (S2 (S5), ep 4, TX: 21/09/18).  “The Great British Bake Off”, (S2 (S9), ep 4, TX: 18/09/18).  “The  Plague”, (S1, ep 5 & ep 6).  “TNG First Steps Into The Digital Frontier (The Trek Not Taken) Best Buy Exclusive (16/11/16).  “Travelman: 48hrs in…”, (S7, ep 2, TX: 17/09/18).  “Upstart Crow”, (S1, ep 4).  “Van Helsing”, (S2, ep 7 to ep 13). 

This week I have mainly been listening to:  

“Anti Social Show”, (ep 59, 21/09/18).  “Chasing Earhart”, (ep 59, 15/09/18).  “Griefcast”, (ep 51, 19/09/18).  “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (17/09, 20/09/18).  “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (14/09, 18/09, 20/09 x 2).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (20/09/18).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (15/09, 21/09/18).  “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 62, 14/09/18)(ep 63, 21/09/18).  “NASA: In Silicon Valley, Live”, (14/09/18)(20/09/18).  “Quick Question”, (S2, ep 9 (ep 23), 17/09/18).  “Skeptiod”, (ep 641, 18/09/18).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 105, 14/09/18).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 63, 20/09/18).  “Treasure Quest”, (BBC Three Counties Radio, 15/09/18).  “True Crime Finland”, (ep 30, 21/09/18).  “Morrissey”, “Bowie”, “Boston”, “Kenickie”, “The Strokes”, “Lorde”, “Space”, “PiL”, “Basement Jaxx”, “John Lennon”, “Travis”, “Art Of Noise”.