Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in Northamptonshire, East & West London and Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 223 Saturday 22^nd until Friday 28^th September 2018.

This might be regarded as “old news” because I posted on Facebook ® last week, but thought I’d like to mention it here to a wider audience.
“What is the etiquette in this situation”.

“So beautiful being home”.
I plonked my lardy arse in a corporate coffee shop at a major London train station because I was travelling “up north” for a couple of days. The reason I picked that seat was because a plug point was underneath, I am always looking for somewhere I can power small electronic devices, yes I’m addicted to small screens. As I rummaged in my bag, a women sat down on the other side of the small table. She had not inquired if I had someone with me who might be in the queue for a drink. Or maybe a friend was travelling with me and was late.

“I’m no fashion expert, and neither was this lady”.
As I reached under the seat holding my plug, the women’s hand appeared also holding a plug and actually tried to push my hand out of the way. What was odd was that there was another socket a couple of inches to the right. For once I stood my ground (I prefer an easy life, so tend not to fight back) and inserted the plug pin’s into the three small holes. Of course the women used the other socket; the result of this was her lead was technically between my legs. Before my train I thought I would relax after another busy boring week by bingeing on shiz I enjoy. Unfortunately I had to crank up volume because the woman who was now leaning back in the plastic chair started to conduct a very loud conversation on her phone. The fact that I could hear her conversation over the programme wasn’t the worst of it, she then relaxed completely by putting both feet up next to me on the seat.

“How rude!”.
Confrontation is not something I like, on the inside I was giving her “evils”, but outside I continued stare at the tablet as if nothing was wrong. It must be thirsty work talking rubbish very loudly because when the call ended the women got up to buy a drink. Before making her way to queue she attracted my attention and asked (nicely) if I would watch the external power pack resting on the table connected to the wire between my legs.

“Interesting way to leave your morning cuppa”.
After about 30 seconds, I realised that my train was due to leave soon. This plunged me into a moral dilemma. Do I be a caring, conscientious, good citizen and wait for her to return! Or just leave! Without thinking i grabbed my bags and rushed out never looking behind me. Making my way through the crowded rush hour station concourse, I did worry that if the power pack had gone missing by the time she returned she might think it was me and hunt me down. Whether the power pack got stolen or not, I have no idea, is it wrong to say I don’t care? Not long later, I sped out of the capital towards green fields.

“#EveryLoveMatters on platform 3, leaves in one minutes”.
I am far from perfect! I am queen of making errors and mistakes! I annoy the people around me constantly, but for some reason they still call me a friend. I am many things, but one thing I hope I am not is rude! If I had been that women I‘d have asked if the seat was free, aimed the plug for the empty socket. And definitely wouldn’t have put feet up on the seat.

“You will read to the end”.
If you know what the etiquette is in a situation like this please let me know. Send your email to,
Iwouldhavetoldthesillycowtogetherfeetofthechair-andshutup.coke.UcaKe
And Now For Something Completely Different……

“JBomb auditioning for Strickly”.
After spending a couple of days at mums, I took a bus to Milton Keynes. Smiling I told the driver where I wanted to go, he smiled back and moved his head slightly as if he had a tic. Not understanding I stood my ground holding £4.50 ready to pay. The driver continued to smile and nodded his head clearly in the direction of the interior of the bus. That’s when the penny dropped. I would like to think that my Jedi powers influenced him to allow me on without paying. I better keep practicing maybe one day they will really work.

“Hel and I didn’t expect to see Southwold in Northamptonshire”
At the train station I stepped off and smiled saying “thank you”, I’m not used to people being nice like that. It really was very sweet of him. I didn’t look back just in case he was taking a picture of my lardy arse for the depo notice board for “Biggest BUM Of The Week”. Seriously though it was a very kind gesture, I was flattered.
And Finally……

“The invasion, has begun”.
Spoke to “Lilly Allen’s” tour manager, was tempted to ask A/ for an autograph and B/ a job. I didn’t with either.
Also spoke to a woman who worked on both “Mamma Mia” (and other) films.
This Week’s First’s……

“Fog hiding the way forward”.
Frost in the park. Fog in Surrey and smoky breath when I breathed out early in the morning.

“Frosty morning”.
My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

“Trying to write this shiz, while stuff my tum”.
This week I have mainly been watching:
“Click”, (TX: 22/09/18). “Defending The Guilty (PILOT)”, (TX: 19/09/18). “Don’t Tell The Bride”, (S14, ep 7, TX: 26/09/18). “Friends”, (S9, ep 3 & ep 18). “King Arthur’s Britain: The Truth Unearthed”, (TX: 16/09/18). “Krypton”, (S1, ep 6). “Maniac”, (S1, ep 6 to ep 10). “Michael Palin In North Korea”, (S1, ep 2, TX: 27/09/18). “Sacred Games”, (S1, ep 1). “Sence8”, (S2, ep 1 to ep7). “Stacy Dooley: Face To Face With Armageddon”, (TX: 18/09/18). “Strictly Come Dancing”, (S16, ep 2, TX: 22/09/18). “The Apprentice: Meet The Candidates”, (S14, ep 1, TX: 25/09/18). “The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice”, (S2 (S5), ep 5, TX: 27/09/18). “The Great British Bake Off”, (S2 (S9), ep 5, TX: 25/09/18). “The OA”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 8). “Travelman: 48hrs in…”, (S7, ep 3, TX: 23/09/18). “Upstart Crow”, (S1, ep 5). “Walking Britain’s Lost Railways”, (S1, ep 1, TX: 22/09/18)(ep 2, TX: 28/09/18).
This week I have mainly been listening to:
“Brian Gittens And Friends (LIVE)”, (ep 44, 28/09/18). “Chasing Earhart”, (ep 60, 23/09/18). “Griefcast”, (ep 24, 21/02/18)(ep 52, 25/09/18). “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (21/09, 24/09, 25/09, 26/09, 27/09). “In Poor Taste”, (ep 45, 27/06/16)(ep 46, 28/06/16). “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (27/09/18). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (22/09, 28/09/18). “NASA: Gravity Assist”, (25/09/18). “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 64, 28/09/18). “NASA: Rocket Ranch”, (ep 4, 25/09/18). “Quick Question”, (S2, ep 10 (ep 24), 24/09/18). “Shsun Keveny (Jodie Whittaker)”, (BBC 6 Music)(27/09/18). “Skeptiod”, (ep 642, 25/09/18). “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 106, 14/09/18)(ep 107, 24/09/18). “The Angelos And Barry Podcast”, (REWIND)(rpt 25/09/18). “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 64, 28/09/18). “Treasure Quest”, (BBC Three Counties Radio)(22/09/18). “Morrissey”, “Alanis Morissette”, “Nick Cave”, “The Artic Monkeys”, “The Polyphonic Spree”, “Alt-J”, “4 Non Blondes”, “MGMT”.