Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East & West and Central London, Essex, Northamptonshire and Hertfordshire (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 222 Saturday 15^th until Friday 21^st September 2018.

Last weekend was very busy rushing up and down the M1, M25 and my personal fave the M40.  During those couple of days I sat stationery in a number of very traditional British traffic jams hoping that break lights in front would disappear signalling that everything was on the move again.  My visit “up north” was far too fleeting, once again.

  “Thanks Helen for having me this weekend”.

Something I have realised is that I just don’t have “time”, for anything I really want or have to do.  This is how I have come to the conclusion that I need a P.A to allow me to do the “important” things in life.  It’s late September and I still haven’t done any of the creative objectives planned a while ago.  I lead a busy mundane life, getting up early for work and returning late and when I do arrive home I’m knackered with only time to fill my face and numb the grey matter by watching flickering images before bed.

  “Its always so peaceful beside the canal”.

Every week I speak to P.A’s who call because there boss is too busy doing “executive” things to ring themselves.  One of them actually said that she thought it was a cheek because she hadn’t worked for the manager long and felt uncomfortable ringing.  From the way she spoke it wouldn’t surprise me that as well as making tea, she would feed him the warm drink with a teaspoon! Cut the crusts off his sandwiches! And shake stray drops of his winky!

 “Someone parked in a well known local Dogging location”.

Going to the loo is one thing i am capable of doing all on my own.  But an assistant could do lots of other so-called important things, such us sitting in the office for 8 hrs a day, eating pointless snacks just to exercise the mouth and stare pointlessly out of the window.  It would also be nice if they could stand in the corner of a packed train carriage with sweat dribbling down there back making them feel self-conscious and uncomfortable.  Having someone else do all these boring jobs would allow me time to draw and paint as well as sort out my storage shiz which would mean I actually might achieve something in this rather pointless existence I call life.  Plus I would get to spend more time with family.

  “I found some great accommodation “up north”, and people are so trusting”. 

Yes I need a P.A, if you think you’re the kind of person who can sit on their arse and eat all day then send a C.V to p.a.toalardyarsednohoperwhothinksthere-creative.cock.UcaKe

   “I wonder what famous bottom has used the same seat as me”.

Emmmm, pay! That could be a problem! Tell you what I’ll rethink this and get back to you. In the meantime maybe I should get off my lardy behind and get on with things.

And Now For Something Completely Different……

  “I’ve grown up watching entertainment produced inside these buildings”. 

Last weekend I visited Elstree film studios, where many of my fave tv series and films have been produced.  Standing in the the access road beside studios 7, 8 and 9 I could imagine the crew rushing around looking important holding clipboards.  While actors in costume remembered there lines.  I get very excited at any opportunity to visit a studio, and if there is a chance to peer behind the scenic doors and glimpse, sets, cameras and other pieces of equipment than that visit becomes even more special.  I hope that I get another chance to visit and manage to look behind the sound proof doors.

  “Two shows i don’t watch, but one is more impressive than the other”.

On a couple occasion i had to step aside as golf buggies took people in the direction of the “Big Brother” house (which didn’t impress).  A couple of cars pulling trailers with old vehicles strapped on the back which (and I have no proof of this) went in the direction of the stages where “The Crown” is currently filming.

  “Currently inside uncle Georges two stages are “Strictly” and “The Crown”.

I also visited the huge Tesco next door because where the in store fishmonger is where the Ewok village was built for Star Wars: Return Of The Jedi in 1983.  The supermarket in situated on land that used to be part of the studio complex.

  “I am definitely no “Saint”. 

Friends Highlight Of The Week……

  “I am deffo NOT a celebrity”.

Highlight of the week, was meeting my friend George who I have known for 37/38 yrs in central London.  As well as catching up on news, we were trying to remember names of comedy writers who passed a long time ago.  Look forward to another session.

Thank you George and Fiona for the beautiful gift.

  “2018’s Budgie and Phantom reunion”.

And Finally……
 “Grandma on the left, Dad on the right in the last century”.

Spoke to a lovely older couple on a county bus to Northampton who had just seen “Warhorse” in Milton Keynes.  The women was the spitting image of my mum’s mother, she really did look liked my grandmother.  Speaking to them about areas in London we had in common helped the journey pass quickly.

 “Writing this shiz, while enjoying a bag of Radishes”.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

 “One last pic of Elstree”.

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“Click”, (TX: 16/09/18).  “Constantine”, (S1, ep 2).  “Friends”, (S8, ep 5 to ep 25)(S9, ep 1 & ep 2).  “Have I Got A Bit More News For You”, (S46, ep 10, TX: 13/12/13).  “Killing Eve”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 8).  “Krypton”, (S1, ep 5).  “Lara Croft: Tomb Raider”, (2001).  “Luke McQueen Comedy Pilot”, (S1, ep 2, TX: 12/09/18)(ep 3, 09/09/18).  “Maniac”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 5).  “Michael Palin In North Korea”, (S1, ep 1, TX: 20/09/18).  “Star Trek III: The Search For Spock”, (1984).  “The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice”, (S2 (S5), ep 4, TX: 21/09/18).  “The Great British Bake Off”, (S2 (S9), ep 4, TX: 18/09/18).  “The  Plague”, (S1, ep 5 & ep 6).  “TNG First Steps Into The Digital Frontier (The Trek Not Taken) Best Buy Exclusive (16/11/16).  “Travelman: 48hrs in…”, (S7, ep 2, TX: 17/09/18).  “Upstart Crow”, (S1, ep 4).  “Van Helsing”, (S2, ep 7 to ep 13). 

This week I have mainly been listening to:  

“Anti Social Show”, (ep 59, 21/09/18).  “Chasing Earhart”, (ep 59, 15/09/18).  “Griefcast”, (ep 51, 19/09/18).  “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (17/09, 20/09/18).  “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (14/09, 18/09, 20/09 x 2).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (20/09/18).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (15/09, 21/09/18).  “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 62, 14/09/18)(ep 63, 21/09/18).  “NASA: In Silicon Valley, Live”, (14/09/18)(20/09/18).  “Quick Question”, (S2, ep 9 (ep 23), 17/09/18).  “Skeptiod”, (ep 641, 18/09/18).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 105, 14/09/18).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 63, 20/09/18).  “Treasure Quest”, (BBC Three Counties Radio, 15/09/18).  “True Crime Finland”, (ep 30, 21/09/18).  “Morrissey”, “Bowie”, “Boston”, “Kenickie”, “The Strokes”, “Lorde”, “Space”, “PiL”, “Basement Jaxx”, “John Lennon”, “Travis”, “Art Of Noise”.