Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East, West & North East London and Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).
Week 240 Saturday 19th until Friday 25th January 2019.
Happy 7th Bday to Anoodle, this week.
Everyone thinks that bankers, businesswomen/men, the government or in some people’s minds (whispering) the Illuminati are the people in power. Wrong! The people with power can be seen walking every street (certainly in the UK) or driving around in a red van. One of them has even been entertaining children on TV since 1981. The most powerful people (in my very unscientific opinion) are post women/men. I realise that in this digital age a person sitting in their parents’ house wearing just their pants can bring an organisation to its knees or make a government look foolish. But there activities generally don’t affect every day individual lives. However people walking around in shorts (most UK post-delivery people seem to wear shorts all year round) do appear to have the power to make normal people’s lives awkward.
If you have read this shiz before you know I work in a call centre talking carp to people who would rather be picking their own (or other peoples in some cases) belly button than speak to me. The organisation I work for sends out hundreds of letters every day, some are just notifications, others reminders and finally there are red frightening ones. Once the sacks of mail have left the building its anyone’s guess when the letters will arrive at its final destination. Multiple times every day people say to me “I didn’t get any letters!” or “We have never had anything from you before, except this nasty letter!”.
“8 candles for a 7 yr old”.
Ok back to my point about post men/women. I want to stop one of these red uniformed people and ask them about the secret heavily guarded (it must be) bunker where all the letters from my department end up (there must be bunkers all over the country for other large companies and utilities, full of undelivered letters). How does the postal employee decide which letter to post and which to conceal only to end up in a bunker unread. What special training did they have to go through to make this important decision? Talking about training, in late 2017 I applied for a number of postal delivery jobs (I look good in shorts and the walking would be good exercise. Think about it, how many large postal delivery people have you seen over the years!). The test seemed so complicated for what appears (of course in reality I know there’s a lot more to it) to be a relatively easy job. It’s probably easier to apply for a position with MI5/6 than to deliver letters. When I filled in the first online application, I thought I was being clever writing all the answers and the sequence of multiple choice options. I then discovered that the questions and the pattern of answers changed with every application. Damn you HR!
“Even i was feeling chilly during this morning”.
Seriously, i sit in the call centre day after day thinking how strange (of course i am not suggesting that all customers are lying) that selective letters sent out don’t arrive at their final location. Letters do of course get lost, some come back returned but the majority do arrive correctly. The reality is that people either don’t open them or want to open them (my dept is a scary). There’s no conspiracy involving the Post Office and its army of men and women in shorts stomping up and down the streets in all weather, dodging adults (who should know better) on scooters racing for the tube. Or risking fingers with letter boxes a lot more vicious than dogs of the 70s and 80s. They do a tough job and can’t please everyone all of the time. I still maintain that postal delivery people are the power makers slipping good and bad news into your slot daily.
“Bright moon on the way to work”.
However I have always had my suspicion about Pat, a postman who delivers letters and parcels around the idyllic village of Greendale with his cat Jess. I bet he deliberately hides Granny Drydens bills, no wonder she’s has to give away her belongings.
“This waterway was partly frozen when i passed”.
“I had a swinging time in North East London”.
Blonde moment of the week. Arriving home in the car, MOZ suddenly said looking at the empty driveway. Where’s the car?
“This is a lovely room to hang upside down in”.
Magic moment of the week. Early on Sunday Arriving for Ariel yoga we saw a couple of people standing waiting for very large heavy gates to be unlocked. From the way they were talking they had been waiting a few minutes. Without thinking I pushed open a smaller gate that was set inside the larger one and stepped through as if I was David Copperfield walking through the Great Wall of China to the amazement of the people waiting.
“You can just make out the large gate that was / wasn’t closed”
Retro TV moment of the week. Met a Jonathan Higgins. I really wanted to ask if he had dogs named Zeus and Apollo.
“Aries picture of the week. What a beauty”.
Celebrity moment of the week. Spoke to a tennis player who was British number 1 in the 90s. I think he is a TV pundit these days.
“Writing this shiz, while watching funny geeks”.
My Mid Life Crisis Conts……
This week I have mainly been watching:
“Catastrophe”, (S4, ep 3). “Charmed (2019)”, (S1, ep 3). “Click”, (TX: 19/01/19). “Dark Son: Hunt For A Serial Killer”, (TX: 12/01/19). “Frasier”, (S11 ep 20 to ep 24). “Laurel And Hardy: Way Out West”, (1937). “Laurel And Hardy: One Good Turn”, (1931). “Les Miserable”, (S1, ep 4). “Mary Poppins”, (1964). “Star Trek: Discovery”, (S2, ep 2). “Swimming With Men”, (2018). “The Big Bang Theory”, (S1, ep 7 to ep 17)(S2, ep 1 to ep 23)(S3, ep 1 to ep 5). “The Graham Norton Show”, (S24, ep 14, TX: 18/01/19)(ep 15, 25/01/19). “The Inbetweeners: Fwends Reunited”, (TX: 01/01/19). “The Last leg”, (S16, ep 1, TX: 25/01/19). “The Orville”, (S2, ep 4). “The Walking Dead”, (S3, ep 1 to ep 16).
This week I have mainly been listening to:
“Best Bad Movie Ever”, (22/01/19). “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (18/01, 21/01/19). “In Poor Taste”, (ep 102, 23/01/19). “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (25/01/18). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (19/01, 25/01/19). “Skeptoid”, (ep 659, 22/01/19). “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 124, 21/01/19). “The All New Angelos & Barry Podcast”, (21/01/19). “The Nick Abbot Habit”, (25/01/19). “Morrissey”, “Tindersticks”, “Portishead”, “The Cure”, “Toto”, “John Lennon”, “Mary Poppins (OST, 1964)”, “The Barenaked Ladies”, “P.J Harvey”.