Week 241, Saturday 26th January until Friday 1st February 2019.

This weeks ramble is being edited (yes it really is edited!) and published from the Isle of Wight, so it may look a little different due to using a different device. I am visiting for a couple of days (trying to escape the “B” word **. Only joking! That’s impossible at the moment) all will be revealed in next weeks in blog week 242 (I bet you can’t wait).
That’s the over long unplanned intro, here’s the ramble……..

I am an electronic genus!!! My friends small electronic handheld device (not that type, you mucky pups!) decided to have a fit, it wouldn’t unlock. Trying to be helpful I suggested looking up the official website. Within a couple of minutes she was having a “live text chat” with an advisor (*** who I like to think was sitting in there bedroom playing video games and probably just wearing there pants). Whose only suggestion was to take the device to a store so it can be looked at by someone very clever person who probably has no friends. Which would more than likely result in her losing everything, especially all the pictures of our adopted hamster!

Once the useless chat was over, I opened my cavernous gob and uttered the phrase “have you pressed all the buttons at the same!”. Quite where that statement came from I have no idea. My friend who was clearly frustrated did just this and suddenly as if by magic (all small electronic devices are powered by rainbows and unicorns or so I have told my niece) the screen came to life in vivid bright colours. Why didn’t the advisor suggest something so simple? I am not a conspiracy nut, but by telling someone that need to visit a support centre which will more than likely result in them spending more money, when there was such a quick fix just seems wrong.

By the way my friend was very pleased that her small devise was vibrating happily to itself again (i still don’t mean that kind of device, yes I’m looking at you Davian).

And Now For Something Completely Different……

I am not competitive; it doesn’t matter if I come first or last. When I completed in a number of triathlons (yes you read that correct, I really have done 9 of them). I wasn’t racing others I just wanted to finish with my aging knees still attached. There is however one situation where I get a tad competitive. Stepping on to a tube every morning I scan the carriage for who is likely to get off allowing my lardy arse a rest from the pull of gravity which is dragging it towards the ground faster that Usain Bolt on a good day. At each stop there’s a primeval part of my brain willing the person sitting in front to stand up and let my derriere rest on the still warm fabric of the seat (the warmth from someone’s patootie **** is something I really dislike).

One journey this week, as normal I positioned myself in such a way that when/if the person in front stood up they could walk away easily as I lower my wide load onto the seat. This particular morning a small woman managed to squeeze herself through a gap in the crowd to stand next to me. Normally as a train pulls into a station the seated person gathers up bags and belonging which is an indication that I need to be ready. This morning the train slowed and nothing. Only when the doors had fully opened did the man suddenly stand up. As he stepped aside the women next to me in one fluid movement sat on my seat. Everything happened so quickly, I was furious and wished I could produce death ray’s from my eyes. My whole being ached feeling robbed of what should have been mine.

I really am not a competitive person. But when it comes to getting a seat on the train, let the games begin! From now on I need to up my game, be sharper on my feet and ready for any last minute attacks such as the one describe above. If you’re on the District line in the morning, be afraid, be very afraid!

And Finally……

Last Sunday afternoon it raining and the temp was 10c, in the distance a couple of times I could hear an ice cream van touting for business. Times are tough i realise, but are there really enough people rushing outside to buying a 99 from the roadside in late January.

P.S……

** If you didn’t guess the “B” word is of course “Brexit”, my head wants to explode and my heart sinks every time I hear it.

*** My apologies for the stereotypical comment (I’m a geek, and suppose I’m jealous of techy homeworking geeks).

**** This would make a great name for a Star Wars planet.
My Mid-Life Crisis Conts……
This week I have mainly been watching:

To follow…
This week I have mainly been listening to:

To follow….