Week 234, Saturday 8th until Friday 14th December 2018.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East and West London, Hertfordshire and Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 234 Saturday 8th until Friday 14th December 2018.

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Special B’day mention this week to my lovely Sister-in-law Sigrida.

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I may be old, but I still have a very over active imagination, its because of this my niece who is nearly 7 calls me an “adult-baby”. For instance if I am going to take the car for a spin, as I open the gates of the driveway and drive on to the road outside the house, in my mind I am piloting a Soyuz as it undocking from the ISS. I can envisage the docking clamps unlatching as the two crafts drift apart in the soundless vacuum of space. This car thing is not new! After watching “Star Trek The Motion Picture” in 1979, every time dad brought the family old banger out of the garage, I saw the USS Enterprise leaving space dock.

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“This man got his huge package out in the Post Office”.

At junior school my duffel coat would be a spacesuit from “Space 1999” (1975-77). The hood was the helmet; knitted gloves made by mum were in my mind bulky environmental suit gauntlets that needed to be secured to the “O ring” at the end of the sleeve to achieve an air tight seal. This theme continues while scuba diving, I imagine myself weightless on an EVA (Extra vehicular Activity) that feeling is the nearest I will get to being in space.

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“Its east London, not Yorkshire”.

There are a lot of things about getting older which are not fun, many of them I could change if I got off my large lardy arse more often (I feel a New Year resolution coming on!). One muscle that doesn’t need any continued exercise is the jaw. My Masseter Musculus should be the most toned muscle in this lardy excuse for a body due to the amount of food that passes my lips.

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“This week’s Blog is brought to you by a random letter “K”!

My imagination doesn’t need any exercise; as I get older it appears to get more vivid. In early January I plan to send a sample script to a number of agents hoping that one of them might reply saying “oh, that was an interesting read, please tell me more”. Of course I am realistic, the chances that one of them will look at what I send is so small there’s probably more chance of becoming worshiped by the population of a small south pacific island! Or bitten by a radioactive Hedgehog than an agent liking something I have created.

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“Guessed who pissed on me again”.

See! I stated that at the top of this ramble that I have an overactive imagination.

And Now For Something Completely Different……

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“Jbomb, watching an awful 2014 film. See the list below to find out what its called”.

Look at any picture of me from the last few years and you will notice immediately that I really don’t give a flying fig about my appearance. There was a time when I went to work fully made up, looking like a cross between a victim of a paint factory explosion and a clown who has been waterboarded. Eventually I realised how stupid I appeared, and that the wasted time used to splatter chemicals over my fat face could be spent in bed. I don’t sleep well, so those extras valuable minutes spent dreaming or just being vertical are so important to what’s left of my mental health.

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“One of these people is suppose to be responsible”.

It’s the same with hair! Generally my style is “what style?” I don’t see the point of fussing and teasing each individual strand, this is because by the time the front door has been locked I will look as if I have been dragged through a hedge backwards. In my mind I am rocking an image of my own called “Scarecrow chic”, think of Robert Smith from “The Cure” just not as sexy. On the train every day I see people who look like they “just stepped out of a salon”. How much earlier do they have to get up in order to look that good?

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“Someones ready for Crimbum”.

Last week my hair was cut for the second time this year, that’s good considering most years scissors never go near the barnet. Jules the hairdresser within 20 mins made me look “normal”. However in the morning I returned to my natural state of looking like I had slept with a saucepan on my head. When I ask if she would pop over to where I live every morning and make me look respectable; strangely she turned that offer down that charitable offer.

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“Someone, started early”.

In a world where so many strive to look like each other, I’ll continue to remain an individual. Style and fashion have never bothered me. I have never been normal, why change now at this great age.

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“I thought it was a pretty picture”.

And Finally……

This week I uttered the line “could you remove that from between my legs?” I was talking about a packet of crisps that I put there before a drive. It soon became apparent that I couldn’t do both. Thank you MOZ for obliging, I hope you disinfected your hands.

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“Blog joke of the week”.

In the supermarket I kept bumping into the same smiley man isle after isle. While talking it turned out we had something in common. Our conversation ended in a geek fest gushing over how good Jodie Whittaker has been in “Doctor Who”. Be afraid, Geeks are amongst you, everywhere even in the cheese isle.

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“Writing this shiz, while watching Vic & Bob, WB wants to watch as well”.

This week I have mainly been watching:

“Black Mirror”, (S3, ep 1 & ep 2). “CBeebies Bedtime Stories”, (ep 666, TX: 02x/12/18)(ep 612, 31/12/17). “Celebrity Lego Masters Crimbum Special”, (S2, ep 6, TX: 11/12/18). “Click”, (TX: 09/12/17)(TX: 08/12/18). “Colin Murphy’s Panic Room (BBC NI)”, (S1, ep 3, TX: 10/12/18). “Doctor Who”, (S37/S11, ep 10). “Four Weddings And A Funeral”, (1995). “Frasier”, (S4, ep 17 to ep 23). “Have I Got News For You”, (S56, ep 10, TX: 14/12/18). “Ireland With Simon Reeves”, (S1, ep 2, TX: 29/11/15). “Jonathan Pie’s, American Pie”, (TX: 12/12/18). “Michael Mcintyre’s Big Show”, (S4, ep 4, TX: 08/12/18). “Ministry Of Justice”, (S1, ep 3, TX: 14/12/18). “Nativity 3, Dude, Where’s My Donkey?”, (2014). “Nightflyers”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 4). “Origin”, (S1, ep 5 to ep 10). “People Just Do Nothing”, (S5, ep 5). “People Just Do Nothing Vs Top Gear”, (TX: 10/12/18). “Stargate SG1”, (S1, ep 1). “Strictly Come Dancing”, (S16, ep 12, TX: 08/12/18). “The Apprentice”, (S14, ep 11, TX: 11/12/18)(ep 12, TX: 12/12/18)(ep 13, TX:13/12/18). “The Apprentice: Honest Subtitles”, (ep 10, 05/12/18)(ep 11, 12/12/18). “The Apprentice: You’re Fired”, (S13, ep 11, TX:12/12/18). “The Last Leg”, (S15, ep 9, TX: 14/12/18). “The Sky At Night”, (09/12/18). “Van Helsing”, (S3, ep 8 to ep 10). “Vic & Bobs Big Night Out”, (S1, ep 3).

This week I have mainly been listening to:

“Best Bad Movie Ever”, (ep 41, 11/12/18). “Chasing Earhart”, (ep 68, 09/12/18). “Clinton Baptiste’s Paranormal Podcast”, (ep 3, 11/12/18). “Griefcast”, (ep 63, 12/12/18). “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (07/12, 08/12,11/12,13/11/18). “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (13/12/18). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (08/12, 14/12/18). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot Habit”, (S2, ep 6, 13/12/18). “NASA: Gravity Assist”, (ep 23, 11/12/18). “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 75,14/12/18). “NASA: Silicon Valley Live”, (14/12/18). “Rule Of Three”, (ep 15, 27/09/18)(ep 19, 25/10/18)(ep 25, 06/12/18)(ep 26, 13/12/18). “Skeptiod”, (ep 653, 11/12/18). “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 118, 10/12/18). “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 87, 10/12/18). “The All New Angelos And Barry Podcast”, (ep 4, 14/12/18). “Morrissey”, “Fuzzbox”, “Transvison Vamp”, “David Grey”, “The Waitresses”, “Band Aid (Original)”, “No Doubt”, “Lush”, “Manic Street Preachers”, “Radiohead”, “Velvet Underground”, “Weezer”.

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