Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East, West & Central London, Essex and Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).
Week 233 Saturday 1st until Friday 7th December 2018.
HAPPY B’DAY this week to, MOZ, Hel & SAZ on December 2nd. And a special mention to Nico, 7 on 5th December.
Recently shop windows have displayed huge posters enticing people inside because of the madness of “Black Friday”, which lasts a lot longer than one day I noticed. Last weekend I succumb to the bribing of a few quid off the RRP. Don’t worry I didn’t queue up at 6am, pushing others out of the way, no this was a far more civilised affair.
“I didn’t drop the phone, down this one”.
My phone has never worked properly after it took a dive into the bog 6 weeks after I bought it just over a year ago. While in town last weekend I stumbled across a worldwide electrical company (not the fruit named one) which sells products that to my simple mind must be powered by pixie dust. Fifteen mins later, I stepped onto the pavement holding a small box which made my credit card feel a lot heavier. That evening I really felt for the staff of a large UK high streets electrical shop across the road who were turning people away, because there systems being down. It must have been painful for them to see potential “Black Friday” customers crossing the road to the worldwide name. For me, this just goes to show how our reliance on computers may have gone too far. Except of course when systems at work go down, “oh dear” I have to sit at my desk writing this shiz or doodling. Honestly I love tech, but at heart I think I am a Luddite.
“Two tiny slugs and mushrooms seen this week”.
Next I need to contact my phone provider. Because i work in a call centre I really don’t want to speak to another “call centre monkey”. Finding a branch to visit is proving difficult. Looking at my old device I found that there was a branch in Oxford St, when I reached the location the shop had camouflaged itself as a foreign language school. During the week I tried to visit a kiosk stall, which I discovered was closed during the afternoon I visited. If I do have to ring a call centre, I will really empathise with the poorly paid sole on the other end and try to make that call the easiest of their day.
And Now For Something Completely Different……
“All aboard”.
Last weekend I took MOZ on the Necro bus, a ghost tour around central London in a black-double decker Routemaster. It’s claimed that the bus is the last of its fleet, due to a fire in depot in 1967. This it turns out is a fictional history, but could be based on the very real “London Necropolis Railway” which ran between 1854 until 1941.
“Which of these two more scary”.
The trip is not scary, it funny and informative. The conductor who would stand on the open platform at the back appeared on screens around the bus, and tells stories of ghost in various locations as we passed them. Not long after the tour started, while sat in traffic a man stepped on to the bus. I was expecting the conductor to say something, he didn’t! It soon became apparent that the additional passenger is part of the act. For the rest of the tour both men raced between the two deck telling us chillingly ghoulish tales, while at the same time weaving a narratives that the passengers were included in which had a conclusion at the end of the tour.
“Mum would love one of these, is it bolted down?”.
I imagine that both hosts are actors, who after spending years studying “Shake-in-spear” or the “Stanislavski method” have ended up telling spooky tales in an old black Bus. I Imagine that this would probably be a really fun job, I’ve done a little acting and wonder if I should apply. Anything is better than sitting in a call centre.
“The tour starts and stops here”.
MOZ really enjoyed herself; it was definitely an interesting way to spend 75mins. By the way, we bag the best seats, front of the top deck. As a child these were the seats I was desperate to occupy, and of course I would pretend to drive the bus. During the ghost tour I left the driving to the ghoul in the driver’s seat.
“If the Ghost bus didnt scare you, this might”.
And Finally……
“Nearly a Strike”.
RAC and I took MOZ bowling (a continuation of her bday celebrations). The embarrassing memory I won’t forget is when I did a “Johnson” (a reference to Bojo the ex London major who floored a child accidentally years ago) as I stumbled while snuffling backwards after bowling and missing every skittle. The reason for this was because a small child from the next lane wondered into ours. I am thinking of having flashing lights and a reversing siren fitted for future occasions.
“If you don’t want to know the final score, look away!”.
Honorary mention must go to the women who had a couple of bowling balls spilling over the top of her dress. Once her boobs were pointed out, I couldn’t help not see them.
“The Shuffle, Fabulous50 (Calamity) and Lunge”.
And finally, honest!
“She pissed on me last week”.
Is it good luck when a Hamster whizzes on you. Aries the Hamster enjoys running from hand to hand, what I call hamster juggling. A couple of nights ago I felt a wet patch on my fingers. Am I about to win the lottery?
(Writing this shiz, while Vic & Bob are dancing)
My Mid Life Crisis Conts……
This week I have mainly been watching:
“Altered Carbon”,(S1, ep 5 to 10). “Black Mirror”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 3)(S2, ep 1 to ep 4). “CBeebies Bedtime Stories”, (ep 667, TX: 07/12/18). “Click”, (TX: 01/12/18). “Colin Murphy’s Panic Room (BBC NI)”, (S1, ep 2). “Digging For Britain”, (S7, ep 1, TX: 28/11/18). “Doctor Who”, (S37/S11, ep 9). “Frasier”, (S3, ep 10 to ep 24)(S4, ep 13 & 14). “Have I Got News For You”, (S56, ep 9, TX: 07/12/18). “Hey Duggie”, (S1, ep 18). “Horizon (2008/09): 10, Can We Make A Star On Earth?”, (TX: 17/02/09). “Jamie And Jimmy’s Friday Night Feast”, (S6, ep 1, TX: 07/12/18). “Lego Masters”, (S2, ep 5, TX: 04/11/18). “Ministry Of Justice”, (S1, ep 1, TX: 30/11/18)(ep 2, TX: 07/12/18). “Origin”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 4). “People Just Do Nothing”, (S5, ep 4). “Rouge One: A Star Wars Story”, (2016). “Searching For Starlite (BBC News)”, (TX: 10/11/18). “The Apprentice”, (S14, ep 10, TX: 05/12/18). “The Apprentice: You’re Fired”, (S13, ep 10, TX: 05/12/18). “The Graham Norton Show”, (S24, ep 10, TX: 07/12/18). “The Last Leg”, (S15, ep 7, TX: 30/11/18)(ep 8, 07/12/18). “The Mash Report”, (S2, ep 6, TX: 07/12/18). “Tomorrow’s World: The Science Behind Spiderman”, (TX: 19/06/02). “Vic & Bobs Big Night Out”, (S1, ep 2).
This week I have mainly been listening to:
“Anti Social Show”, (ep 64, 30/11/18). “Best Bad Movie Ever”, (ep 19, 19/06/18)(ep 39, 06/11/18)(ep 40, 13/11/18). “Brian Gittens And Friends”, (ep 48, 06/12/18). “Chasing Earhart”, (ep 67 02/12/18). “Clinton Baptiste’s Paranormal Podcast”, (ep 2, 04/12/18). “Griefcast”, (ep 62, 05/12/18). “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (30/11/18). “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (30/11, 02/12, 03/12, 05/11, 06/11/18). “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (06/12/18). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (01/12, 07/12/18). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot Habit”, (S2, ep 5, 05/12/18). “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 74, 07/12/18). “Skeptiod”, (ep 652, 04/12/18). “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 117, 04/12/18). “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 86, 03/12/18). “The All New Angelos And Barry Podcast”, (ep 1, 21/11/18)(ep 2, 30/11/18)(ep 3, 07/12/18). “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 69, 06/12/18). “Morrissey”, “Kate Bush”, “ACDC”, “Ash”, “Bran Van 3000”, “The Wannadies”, “Kula Shaker”, “Heaven 17”, “The Human League”, “Alanis Morissette”.
Misfits Mid-Life Crisis........ 