Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in Northamptonshire, East & West London and Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 232 Saturday 24^th until Friday 30^th November 2018.

At junior school I really admired Andrew Oakley (The last time I saw him would have been in 1980). Maybe admire is the wrong word, I was jealous because he was such a good artist. One of those naturally talented children who could draw anything. Thinking back I wonder if he got this ability because of his habit of sucking on the business end of the pencil. Remember this was the 70s, kids! There was no internet or millions of TV channels to veg in front of, so sucking the end of the pencil had to suffice.

“Work doodle, before and after”.

Art was the only subject at school I enjoyed or any good at. I continue to draw today, during work I sit and doodle which helps keep what little brain I have from seeping out of ears while in the call centre. Looking back I don’t remember that there was ever the mention of Art College, I left school and went straight to work. Maybe today I would have been offered or at least had the opportunity to go. But because I was regarded as one of the thick kids none of these avenues were considered. Instead I was just shown the exit and told to get on with life.

“I could hardy see my hand in front of me it was that thick. Ok i lied”.

Painting is something I have never mastered; in fact I kept away from brushes for a long time. This all changed a couple of years ago when I approached them slowly, like a solider walking up to a bomb there about to defuse. The mess (painting, not an exploded bomb) I leave on paper is always disappointing, the end result looks so much better inside my skull.

“Who’s watching who!”.

Last year I thought about approaching an art agent because I have lots of drawing and paintings as well as a couple of completed kid’s book. Most publishers won’t look at anything sent to them unless an agent is involved. A friend mentioned that he knew a man who ran an agency. Of course I sent some of my finest shiz with fingers and toes crossed. A couple of weeks later I got a lovely rejection saying that what I presented was good, but not right for them. This of course is totally understandable. My friend contacted me last week to say that he had arranged a lunch meeting with his friend the boss of the agency and I was asked to bring some of my work.

“Trying to look down the tunnel”.

By the time you read this, the meeting will have happened. Secretly I hope that I will leave with a smile and an agent wanting to help me. In reality I know this won’t happen, hopefully I will get good advice and maybe names and numbers of others I can approach.

“Crimbum rehearsal”.

Andrew really was a good artist, I used to sit and watch and wish I could do that. One thing I definitely learned was not to suck on the sharp end of the pencil; his teeth were always a little discoloured. Also I have never liked putting long pointy things in my mouth!

“Middle of the night, i couldn’t sleep. Lets take a selfie”.

P.S

The meeting went well, he “sort of” liked a couple of things pieces I presented. Photoshop it seems would make them better. What concerned me was that I might have wasted his time!

“Did you leave these in my fleece pocket?”,

There are things I need to think about, maybe join a group or art classes to practice different techniques. In reality maybe I should leave art to others like Andrew Oakley (I wonder if he went on to use his talent) and look for something else that I might be good at.

And Now For Something Completely Different……

“Mum practicing her new skill”.

A couple of days ago two managers came over and asked if a new guy could sit with me and listen to calls. The desperation in their faces was visible, they really were scraping the bottom of the barrel asking me.

“Lost Oyster seen at EC”.

The young man was just that, very young! I am probably older than his parents. Making small talk in-betweens calls is not what I normally do, usually I write and draw. At one point after a call I turned and found him with his eyes closed and head lolling to the side.

I hope I was not as bitter as I normally am, I really wouldn’t want to be responsible for making a new starter feel disillusioned about a career in a call centre.

“Green Thai Curry anyone”.

And Finally……

“Mum a little lite on her feet”.

Driving to mums last weekend, a couple of cars passed me with amusing number plates. W1NKEY and BIG 2, made me smile a lot.

And

A friend overheard a women say “He like’s me coz, I can get my leg up”. A little later it became apparent that she was a dancer in a show. Out of context it certainly sounded strange.

“Just checking my feet are still there. Yep!”.

Best Line Heard In A TV Show This Week……

“Tiff, wrinkles and blow ups” (Louis Theroux).

“Writing this Shiz. So pleased Vic & Bob have returned to save us from political madness at home and abroad”.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:

“An Idiot Abroad”, (S2, ep 7, 04/11/11). “Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 10). “Click”, (TX: 24/11/18). “Colin Murphy’s Panic Room (BBC NI)”, (S1, ep 1). “Doctor Who”, (S37/S11, ep 8). “Frasier”, (S3, ep 1 to ep 9). “Have I Got News For You”, (S56, ep 8, TX: 30/11/18). “Horizon (2018): The Contraceptive Pill: How Safe Is It?”, (ep 13, TX: 19/11/18). “Hounslow Diaries (BBC Three)”, (Pilot, TX: 05/11/18). “Ireland With Simon Reeves”, (S1, ep 1, TX: 22/11/15). “Lego Masters”, (S2, ep 4, TX: 27/11/18). “Louis Theroux Altered States: Take My Baby”, (TX: 25/11/18). “Mrs Brown’s Boys: Crimbum Special 2014”, (ep 1). “People Just Do Nothing”, (S5, ep 3). “Star Wars: Episode II: Attack Of The Clones”, (2002). “Storyville: Hurt Locker Hero”, (TX: 26/11/18). “Storyville: Poisoning America: The Devil We Know”, (TX: 19/11/18). “Strictly Come Dancing”, (S16, ep 10, TX: 24/11/18). “The Apprentice”, (S14, ep 9, TX: 28/11/18). “The Apprentice: Honest Subtitles”, (S4, ep 9, TX: 28/11/18). “The Apprentice: You’re Fired”, (S13, ep 9, TX: 28/11/18). “The Graham Norton Show”, (S24, ep 9, TX: 30/11/18). “The Last Leg”, (S15, ep 6, TX: 23/11/18). “The Mash Report” , (S2, ep 4, TX: 23/10/18)(ep 5, TX: 30/11/18). “Vic & Bobs Big Night Out”, (S1, ep1). “White House Down”, (2013).

This week I have mainly been listening to:

“Chasing Earhart”, (ep 4, 22/07/17). “Clinton Baptiste’s Paranormal Podcast”, (ep 1, 27/11/18). “Griefcast”, (ep 13, 06/12/17)(ep 16, 27/12/17)(ep 61, 28/11/18). “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (24/11,26/11, 27/11, 28/11, 29/11/18). “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (29/11/18). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (24/11, 30/11/18). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot Habit”, (S2, ep 4, 29/11/18). “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 73, 30/11/18). “NASA: In Silicon Valley”, (ep 47, 23/06/17)(ep 49, 29/06/17). “Skeptiod”, (ep 651, 27/11/18). “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 116, 26/11/18). “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 85, 26/11/18). “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 68, 25/11/18). “True Crime Finland”, (ep 22, 01/06/18). “Morrissey”, “Reef”, “Puddle Of Mud”, “Radiohead”, “Shed Seven”, “Skunk Anansie”, “Biffy Clyro”, “Blur”, “Garbage”.