Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East, North London, & Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).
Week 146 Saturday 1st April 2017 until Friday 7th April 2017.
I’m trying to not get stressed at this stage of my mid-life crisis by forgetting my dodgy knees and clicking little finger. But this week I need to complain and vent some frustration.
Watching Icelandic drama at my desk.
I travel daily on the trains and tubes of the capital like millions of others all scurrying to and from work trying to get from point A to C via B. There are many problems which are out of the control of passengers such as signal failures, train malfunctions, station overcrowding and people taken ill. However there are a few minor sounding things that can affect a commuter’s journey resulting in them arriving late at point C.
This hard worker was spotted having a rest.
Everyone wants a seat, think of this as a travelling lottery played by commuters. As with any lottery there are winners and losers, with this game that happens at every station. When the train starts to decelerate (I wanted a posh word for slows down) everyone standing who has been trying not to sniff the armpit of the person next to them scans the occupied seats around. There looking for signs that someone is about to leave the train. The problem is that multiple people are playing this lotto at the same time; everyone is working out in their mind the logistics of how they can reach a certain seat before another passenger. Who will win and plant there lardy arse on the badly upholstered chewing gum stained seat.
Everything really looks better with a little sun.
I have been playing this game for a long time, but every now and then I make a newbie error. I might be watching the surrounding seats on the other side of the carriage trying to detect if a fellow passenger has lifted a buttock a few extra millimeters off their seat. This means I’ve accidentally taken my eye off the seat next to me, the one I have been eyeing my whole journey. The next thing I knew is another lotto player slips in behind me as if there had been made from molten metal and plant there behind on the already warm seat left from the previous occupant. Luckily the loss of a seat like this doesn’t happen very often, however for the rest of the journey I stare evilly at them hoping that they trip up as they leave. There has to be some pleasure from a journey like that.
Early evening fun in Surrey.
The biggest daily battle though on public transport takes place before you have even step foot on the train. Imagine two opposing forces facing each other off, the people inside the train and the crowd waiting on the platform. Both want to exist in the same location at the same time. I’m not a scientist, but even I know this is not going to be easy. When the doors open war commences. The reason it’s a struggle is because the army standing on the platform have created a wall of bodies and won’t allow the passengers getting off the train to pass through. The platform people are always so impatient, they charge forward as soon as the doors open not allowing the departing passengers a moment to actually climb out of the metal monster. This really annoys me as everyone is trying to get to point C, but acting like this is only going to cause delays which annoys everyone especially the platform people.
Working in local government can be tough.
I am not trying to claim I am a commuting saint. However if I am balancing on the edge of the platform in the correct position for the doors, I do my best to make sure that I am out of the way so that the throng of hot, flustered, sweaty passengers can get off the train quickly. Too me, it makes total sense to leave a free space for them to march on to the platform so I can get on the train. This will allow me to start to play the travelling lotto game and hope that I get a seat for part of my journey to point C.
Islington looking great early morning.
I realise that there are far more important things to worry about, such as when will the super volcano under Yellowstone explode (scientist say that it’s late). Or will I be prepared when the zombie apocalypse happens. But while travelling to point C all I really want is an easy journey and a seat, is that a lot to ask.
I believe in Karma.
And Now For Something Different……
Eating out in Essex.
The joy of sitting at work with my headphones over my left ear and an ear bud in my right ear. In between calls about boring Council Tax I was able to listening to excellent Podcast.
Spoke to a woman calling from Swaziland, I recommend Mozambique and Tofo to her.
Writing this shiz.
The Mid Life Crisis Conts……
This week I have mainly been watching: “All Round To Mrs Brown’s”, (S1, ep 2). “Brian Pern At The BBC”. “Case”, (S1, ep 1 to 7). “Catastrophe”, (S3, ep 6). “Click”, (TX: 01/04/17). “Cradle To Grave”, (S1, ep 8). “Do We Really Need The Moon”. “Elysium”, (2013). “Gap Year”, (S1, ep 6). “How’d Do You Get So Rich”, (ep 5). “How To Be A Surrealist With Phillipa Perry”. “Inside The Tube: Going Underground”, (S1, ep 1). “Postman Pat: Special Delivery Service: Pat And The Spacesuit”, (S3, ep 26). “Rhod Gilbert’s Work Experience”, (S7, ep 3). “Robot Wars”, (S9, ep 5). “Spike Milligan: Assorted “Q”, (ep 1). “Starz”. “The Bermuda Triangle: Beneath The Waves”, “The Last Kingdom”, (S2, ep 3). “The Last Leg”, (S10, ep 10). “The Man Who Shot Tutankhaman”. “The Secret Surrealist: Desmond Morris”. “The Team”, (S1, ep 7). “Top Gear”, (S24, ep 5). “Travelman 48hrs in….”, (S5, ep 5).
This week I have mainly been listening to: “Hardcore Listing With Chris And Stu”, (ep 2, pt 1: 03/04/17) (ep 2, pt 2: 04/4/17). “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (05/04, 06/04/17). “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (31/03, 03/04, 04/04, 05/04/17). “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Live)”, (07/04/17). “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (06/04/17). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (31/03, 01/04/17). “Scroobius Pip, Distraction Pieces”, (ep 8, 03/12/14) (ep 80, 20/01/16) (ep 89, 16/03/16) (ep 145, pt 1 & pt 2: 05/04/17) (ep 145, pt 3: 06/04/17). “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 35, 01/04/17) (ep 36, 07/04/17). “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 37, 06/04/17) (ep 38, 06/04/17. “The Nick Abbot Habit”, (ep 3, 07/04/17). “The Rabbit Hole”, (06/04/17). “Morrissey”, “The Coral”, “The Kings Of Leon”, “The Libertines”, “Pulp”, ”MUNA”, “Sophie B Hawkins“, “Boy George”, “Biffy Clyro”, “Wilsons Phillips”, “T’Pau”.