Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East, North London, & Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).
Week 147, Saturday 8thApril 2017 until Friday 14th April 2017.
I have a problem that I would like to you about. I am an addict; which could have an effect on my future. This is an addiction that I haven’t hidden in fact it’s very open and in plain view.
Travelling the Thames with Bonn, Penny and Lee.
I love drinking buckets of sugary gloppy goodness. I find there is nothing nicer than walking around clasping a semi recyclable cup, drinking ridiculously priced coffee based hot or cold drinks. My father passed away a long time ago, he would be horrified that I spend £3 to £4 on a single drink, a drink that is far removed from an actual cup of coffee. Speaking of my dad, he made a wonderful drink he called an “egg flip”, made of coffee with a raw egg and topped off with grated nutmeg. What made the drink special was the wrist action in the way he stirred it. My dear friend Jenny in Tofo, makes a lovely “Leon Lucas Egg Flip” dad would have been proud of.
On a river boat.
I worked in Bayswater’s when the coffee revolution started in the late 90s. This was when I stepped over the threshold of “Cafe Republic” and my love of overly hot sugary drinks began. These days if I have a normal coffee at home, it just doesn’t taste the same without the syrups, cream and other frills that major coffee establishments offer.
Gobby cow.
The addiction got worse when I stepped into my first Starbucks, I wish I remembered where this was. Starbucks has gripped London by the short and curlies and spread like a diseases. I know a few locations where there are multiple branches every few hundred metres. Coffee shops are the 21st century equivalent of public houses. A places where all types of people congregate, look around any branch you will see people in official meetings, interviews or just seeing friends. Everyone has same glazed look as the sugar rushes around there bloodstream.
Random pics from the week….
There is possibly another reason why these places are so popular, it could be to do with the free unlimited Wi-Fi. There have been times when I have spent far too long nursing an empty cup pretending it’s still full of hot frothy liquid hoping I don’t get asked to jog on. Other occasions all I wanted was a plug point, so I have sat at a table with someone else discarded drink (which I DON’T drink) sucking up all that free electricity. When I was in South Africa I was horrified to discover that there was no Starbucks (they might be there now). However I managed to satisfy my addiction in “Mugg and Bean”, drinking a large coffee while eating the biggest muffin I have ever seen which came with complimentary jam, cheese and butter all of which I polished off. The only problem was the Wi-Fi was limited to 30 mins, as a result there were occasions I went from branch to branch pretending that someone’s old drink was mine while I squirted the internet through my device.
This guy really was skateboarding and playing the guitar at the same time.
There’s definitely a problem when the barista remembers your name, think of the hundreds of people that they serve daily, and they remembered who I am. Currently I am working in North London arriving really early because I want a seat on the train. But as I don’t want to be in the office ridiculously early I’m happy to sit in a coffee shop drinking a warm beverage while watching the world pass by. These days I’m keeping track of my drinks because I have a loyalty card. Every 15 drinks I buy I get a free one, these are the best drinks ever, a free drink is always the tastiest one full of extra surgery flavor.
Don’t see them this quiet normally.
Once that cup has been thrown away and my sugar level drops to normal this is when I think rationally about how much that ONE drink has cost me. That “so called” free drink has cost me a small fortune; I have drunk 15 cups of gunk for ONE free coffee. This addiction needs to be nipped in the bud. I am trying to save money to return to Africa, the way I am going I won’t have enough to get across the channel let along leave the UK. I gave up smoking a long time ago which wasn’t that difficult, I should be able to halt this fake coffee habit. But it won’t be easy, because there’s a branch on every corner enticing me inside for a cup of sugary delight.
A “free” bucket is always the tastiest.
I need to close my eyes and think about the horrific look on my dad’s face at all the money I have spent. And smile at the thought of him making me a simple but tasty “egg flip”.
Writing this shiz.
And Now For Something Different……
Saw Jupiter which appeared as a tiny speck under a bright beautiful full Moon.
That speck below and to the right of the Moon is the largest planet in our Solar System.
Went to see the sexy dentist which is always nice (yes I know that sounds strange) and had a filling. This fell out the next day while eating a packet of mini pretzels. I needed to see her again a lot sooner than planned.
Woman on the tube talking on phone loudly to a friend “I want you to come to my church, I love you, I’m worried about you. I don’t want you to go to hell”.
Went to an audition for a Vodka advert, I was asked what level of kissing I am comfortable with, they asked “passionate”. I said “yes”. I was kissed on the cheek twice by a beautiful woman, nothing passionate about the audition.
The Mid Life Crisis Conts……
This week I have mainly been watching: “All Round To Mrs Brown’s”, (S1, ep 3). “Bucket”, (S1, ep 1). “Case”, (S1, ep 8 & ep 9). “Chef vs Science: Ultimate Kitchen Challenge”. “Click”, (TX: 08/04/17). “Edwardian Insects On Film”. “Everyday Miracles: The Genius Of Sofas, Stockings and Scanners”. “Eyewitness”, (S1, ep 1 & ep 2). “Galapagos”, (ep 2 & ep 3). “Gap Year”, (S1, ep 7 & ep 8). “How’d Do You Get So Rich?”, (ep 6). “Inside The Tube: Going Underground”, (S1, ep 2). “King Kong”, (2005). “Our Friend Victoria”, (ep 1). “Peter Kay’s: Car Share”, (S2, ep 1 to ep 4). “Spike Milligan: Assorted “Q”, (ep 2). “The Amazing Spiderman”, (2012). “The Big Think: Should We Go To Mars?”. “The Graham Norton Show”, (S24, ep 1). “The Last Kingdom”, (S2, ep 5). “The Last Leg”, (S10, ep 11). “The Team”, (S1, ep 8).
This week I have mainly been listening to: “Hardcore Listing With Chris And Stu”, (ep 3: pt1 10/04/17). “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (11/04/17). “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (06/04, 06/04, 10/04, 11/04, 12/04/17). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (07/04, 08/04/17). “Scroobius Pip, Distraction Pieces”, (ep 37, 27/05/15) (ep 43: pt 1 & 2, 24/06.15) (ep 50, 29/07/15) (ep 57, 06/09/15) (ep 64: pt 1 & 2, 21/10/15) (ep 79: pt 1 & pt 2, 13/01/16) (ep 90, 23/03/16) (ep 146, 12/04/17). “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 39, 13/04/17). “The Rabbit Hole”, (11/04/17). “Morrissey”, “Haim”, “Radiohead”, “Portishead”, “LCD Soundsystem”, ”Tom Robinson”, “Ash“, “Kate Nash”, “Kate Bush”, “Voice Of The Beehive”.
Misfits Mid-Life Crisis........ 
Boy did my ears perk up with the ‘i’m an addict’ only to be let down that what WOULDN’T follow were sorted tales of dark back alleys and ‘chasing the dragon’. Only you’re need for sweet and warm liquids. Oh well any addiction is bad my mother would say so good luck with your rehab. Are you thinking Hazelden’s as your in the entertainment business and that’s where all the celebs go? Also boy would i love to taste an ‘egg flip’. When i get to heaven i will look up Mr Lucas and request he make one sharpish. Who needs Moses and those other guys when Mr Lucas is serving up his famous egg flips up there. On the stealing energy I too am of the group of ‘i haven’t bought anything but will use this space for awhile’. It feels so empowering. Too bad squatting is a bad word these days. You and I would have been great at it back in the days. With the ‘church lady’ all i’ll say is the friend she was trying to save seems like she would be fun to hang out with. Your mention of the dentist brought up the scene from Little Shop of Horrors and the tooth extraction in that movie. UGGGHHH!!!. Lastly you left us hanging with the outcome of the Vodka audition. As long as they didnt holler ‘Cut’ in the middle of it consider it a success. Plus always mention it in relation to your performing c.v. Something along the lines of ‘I also was up for a Vodka advert’. No need to fill in the blanks about the outcome. Just the fact you auditioned is impressive.
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I did wonder if anyone might get a little excited about me saying I had a habit. The coffee based drink habit is costing me as much money as a normal drug one 😆, thinking about it street drugs might cost a little less. I was looking to book myself in to the Priory I’ll have a word with my agent. Hang on your my agent aren’t you 😆 my contract at Islington councils finished so I have plenty of time to go to coffee support classes. I’ll wait for you to book me in.
Yes hun, an “egg flip” is a mighty fine drunk that my dad made, there was definitely something in the wrist action which made it such a tasty drink. When we meet up we’ll have one, I’ll bring the eggs and nutmeg you supply the coffee and cups. I bet dad has the best coffee establishment up in the clouds, I wonder if he has franchised out his excellent service. Dad worked on the railways most of life, but I can see him behind a bar playing barista listening to people’s problems while he sprinkled nutmeg on a drink with a huge smile. He would have made a lot of people happy.
Yes I have a thing about my dentist, she can route around my mouth anytime in her blue latex gloves bending over me in scrubs, does that make me wrong to perv over her while she’s treating me. Oh she has red hair as well, I really love a redhead. What a wonderful film “The Little Shop of Horrors” is I saw it live on stage a couple of times.
Never heard anything back from the Vodka ad people. But at least I got kissed on the cheek twice by a beautiful lady which is always pleasant.
This reply is almost a second blog….. love ya Rogers, I’m glad your out there. WE MUST MEET SOON…..
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