Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East and South West (Inc Kew) London, Surrey and Essex (Hyland House) (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 271 Saturday 24^th until Friday 30^thAugust 2019.

Since January apart from holidays and special occasions I haven’t drank alcohol. I thought that more and more people were choosing to not drink the hard stuff. But look in most supermarkets and you’ll find it’s not easy to locate the small amount of shelf space with non-alcoholic drinks. Some people decided to go down this route for health reasons, others for fitness or people like me who just fancied saving a few pennies and hoping to lose weight (more about that later).

“A bloody hot bank holiday Monday”.

One thing I have noticed is that there is very little difference in taste I don’t feel I’m missing anything. Because of drink I have met lovely people, with many happy memories and experiences. But there are several incidents that I am still mortified by; these include the time I was in my sister in laws car. Or when I missed my young nephew by millimetres as I projectile vomited outside his school (sorry Thomas). Plus the advantage of a 100% alcohol free drink is I can drive and have a sip or two (not at the same time of course).

“I love a pretty bird”.

Price tends to be the same. That was until I visited Kew Gardens on Bank Holiday Monday this week. The small bottle of water in my bag was warm and not refreshing. Standing in one of the many food stalls around the gardens, l worried that I might need the use of a defibrillator after I saw the prices. All the 330ml cans (the size of a standard can cola) of non- alcohol or alcoholic drink cost just over £5! While a normal can of pop was £2.80, there were cans of water (yes, water in a can) for £1.80. Due to the heat of the day, the tills were continuously busy. Next time I visit I will pop in to the small express supermarket situated near the tube station and smuggle my own supplies inside. On a positive note, the gardens are spectacular and well worth a visit.

“Taken from the balcony in a hot house, on a very hot day”.

Back to the non-alcoholic drink. I am enjoying drinking them; one of the main advantage is that the next morning I don’t wake up feeling like I’ve been bit by a gold brick with a slice of lemon wrapped around it and covered in sick.

“Found free water at Kew, handy to know for next time”.

And Now For Something Completley Different……

“Not a lot to say, its a Pagoda in London”.

I sometimes sit at work and wonder what it would be like if I had an attack of amnesia. What would it be like to completely forget something?
Earlier this week I needed to speak to a manager sitting a couple of feet across the desks. That’s when I didn’t know his name, I looked at his face but I just couldn’t remember his name. He saw me looking so I was honest, luckily he found this funny, but I really had no idea of the name I use most days. I could almost feel areas of my brain desperately trying to reconnect with each other, it was as if a plug had been pulled out and the signal couldn’t reach the receiver. I told him he looked like a Steven or Andrew!

“The glass houses have a cathedral”.

It was only after i restarted talking to the customer that my memory snapped in to place, “Peter”!. No, the customer didn’t have the same name. Hopefully this is not the start of brain deterioration, the family have healthy ones. I must be ok because I can I still remember in the correct order all the companions that have travelled with the Doctor. Or quote my favourite obscure “Monty Python” sketches. It’s really been a very busy couple of week, my brain was just having moment.

“That’s more money from the Tooth Fairy”.

A Diet Newsflash……
I haven’t bored you recently about how the diet is going (its all content). You may remember a few months ago i started a low carb diet. At the time of the Sri Lanka trip a few weeks ago i had lost just over a stone and a half. However, during the 7 days in away i gained 5lb, it’s not all my fault I kept being give tasty food! (It would have been rude not to have eaten everything given to me).

“Seen at Hyland House, Essex”.

At the start of this week i reached the pre holiday weight and have actually now at the time of publishing this shiz lost a further two pounds. It’s slow progress but I am shrinking. More exciting updates soon!

“MOZ, knocking dowing this is one!”.

Scare Of The Week……

“I spent a lot of time at Kew looking up”.

Sitting at traffic lights with a car in front and another on my left. I suddenly saw in the rear view mirror a fire engine flashing both red and blue lights as well as its siren blearing. The image of the engine got bigger and bigger as it raced towards me. At the very last moment (or so it seemed) it swerved to the right and passed at speed on the wrong side of the road (the junction was clear due to the traffic lights).

“Emmmm, even more planes”.

Of course, I knew they weren’t going to hit me, London fire brigade drivers/crews are so well trained. But I can’t lie, nearly shizzed myself.

“Don’t worry its a glass sculpture, not a monster after the plane”.

And Finally……
Heard a woman say to her friend as she climbed out of a car. “Careful I can see your Onion bagel!

“Loving the return of Fizzgig”.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:
“Arena: Cindy Sherman #Untitled”, (TX: 28/07/19). “Better Than Us”, (S1, ep 1). “Building Cars: Secrets Of The Assembly Line”, (ep 1, TX: 20/10/15)(ep 2, TX: 21/10/15). “Celebs On The farm “, (S2, ep 1, TX: 26/08/19). “Click”, (TX: 24/11/18, rpt 24/08/19). “Dexter”, (S2, ep 8 to 10). “Doctor Who, The Invisible Enemy”, (S15, ep 1, TX: 01/10/1977). “Fear The Walking Dead”, (S5, ep 11). “Final Space”, (S2, ep 10). “From Dusk Till Dawn”, (S1, ep 4). “Haters Back Off”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 6). “Horizon: Cannabis Miracle Medicine Or Dangerous Drug?”, (2019, ep 6, TX: 28/08/19). “Kathy Burke’s All Women”, (S1, ep 3, TX: 29/08/19). “Legion”, (2010). “Lucy And D.i.C”, (S1, ep 4). “Mercury 13”, (2018). “Mission Control The Unsung Heroes Of Apollo”, (2016). “Mortimer & Whithouse: Gone Fishing”, (S2, ep 5, TX: 30/08/19). “Pandora”, (S1, ep 7). “Red”, (2010). “Stacey Dooley Face To Face With The Arm Dealers”, (TX: 29/08/19). “Stath Lets Flats”, (S2, ep 2). “Step Up To The Plate”, (S1, ep 6, TX 19/08/19)(ep 7, TX: 20/08/19). “The Dark Crystal: Age Of Resistance”, (S1, ep 1 & ep 2). “The Great British Bake Off”, (S3 (S10), ep 1, TX: 27/08/19). “The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice (S3 (S6), ep 1, TX: 30/08/19). “Toy Story 4”, (2019). “Wu Assassins”, (S1, ep 2).

This week I have mainly been listening to:
“30 Animals That Made Us Smarter (BBC World Service)”, (S1, ep 23, 26/08/19). “Brian Gittens And Friends”, (ep 63, 27/08/19). “Daddy Look At Me”, (S1, ep 13, 29/08/19). “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (26/08, 27/08, 28/08, 29/08/19). “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (29/08/19). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (24/08, 25/08, 30/08/19). “NASA: Gravity Assist”, (23/08/19). “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 107, 30/08/19). “Rule Of Three”, (22/08/19). “Space Boffins Podcast: TheNaked Scientist”, (08/11/13) (10/12/13) (10/01/14) (10/02/14) (10/04/14) (10/05/14) (10/06/14) (10/02/17) (10/03/17). “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 157, 30/08/19). “Strange Times”, (ep 313, 26/08/19)(ep 314, 27/08/19). “The Angelos And Barry Show”, (26/09/18). “The Nick Abbot Habit”, (26/08/19). “Morrissey”, “Echo And The Bunnymen”, “Black Grape”, “Happy Mondays”, “The Stone Roses”, “Petula Clark”, “Aerosmith”, “The Coral”, “Beck”, “Oasis”, “Erasure”.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East and West London, Surrey and West Sussex (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 270 Saturday 17^th until Friday 23^rdAugust 2019.

Happy 3rd Wedding Anniversary to SAZ and Tim on 19 August.

 “Love you guys”.

I always enjoy an encounter with a wild animal. This week while feeling stressed and tired on the tube I had a surprisingly lovely couple of minutes. I was watching my tablet desperately trying to keep awake, when a ladybird landed and just sat there. There were several stops until I reached my destination; I kept still hoping that the insect would stay still until I got off. Then it could fly off into the late August morning gloom above London.

 “I hope there Oyster card was topped up”.

No, this beauty had its own agenda! After a few minutes making me smile and forget my worries it flew off. Its work with me was done! I’d like to think that it disappeared to find another tired commuter and make them smile.

 “But, is it art!”.

A nature story that has been in the news this week. A van was stolen in Leeds last Saturday, which had a cat carrier inside that contained a blind hedgehog named Stephen. Stephen is being cared for by Andrew’s Hedgehog Hospital near Scunthorpe since he was squirted in the face with chemicals in June. He was being taken to a local market so that people could see for themselves the plight of hedgehogs.

 “You get the message”.

I have been checking the news websites regularly throughout the week, with no news that he had been recovered. Early afternoon on Thursday I logged on to read that Stephen had been found by a couple walking their dog. He was still in the cat carrier and appears to have been fed and given water. The scumbag that stole the van, is slightly less of a scoundrel in mine and many others opinion. The van can be replaced, Stephen is a one off. I’m so pleased to have had to rewrite this part of the ramble late in the week because of good news. This story has given me a little more faith in humanity.

If you would like to make a donation to Andrew’s Hedgehog Hospital please visit http://www.andrewshedgehoghospital.org.uk

Or find them on Facebook at Andrew’s Hedgehog Hospital.

 “Proudly wearing my Sri Lankan flag”.

And Now For Something Completley Different……
I’ve talked before about the fact that I work in a call centre. The large room is two call centres that deal with different parts of London. But both take a variety of telephone calls for several public services.

 “A world of plants and flowers”.

Recently I moved to a new desk, one which allows me to see the other side of the room, the other call centre! What I noticed straight away is that they are not as busy as we are. At one point on Tuesday’s afternoon we had 20 calls waiting to be answered. Looking over at the other authorities call team there were officers playing office tennis hitting back and forth a scrunched-up paper ball. A couple of were reading various websites and one or two were standing chatting. I need to see if there are any jobs on that side of the room. I have no issues sitting flicking bogies at the screen to check if they stick. Or picking fluff out of my belly button and weaving it in to a ball. Yes, I could definitely do that and get paid.

 “How beautiful are these workers”.

I hate my job, but I believe it’s better to be busy. The day must really drag in an environment like that if you don’t have a lot to do most of the day. It’s nearly two years that I have worked there, it’s time I got out or worked my way to the other side of the room.

And Now Time For An Apology……

 “Why have only one coffee and cake?”.

It’s at this point I would like to apologise to all the people who were standing in the queue behind me at the bank on Thursday morning. Don’t worry I hadn’t guffed (that was my previous visit). The reason I was there was to deposit money into my account. The problem was I couldn’t remember how much!

 “That’s right, ignore me!”.

The poor women behind the desk smiled politely as I counted and recounted the notes, then the coins. It was early; I was tired I just found it difficult to count. I sensed the queue getting longer behind me, I didn’t look. Mainly because I didn’t want to catch the eye of the sweet looking grandma as she pulled out a anti-tank rocket launcher from her wheeled shopping trolley. The grannies around where I work are known for their violence and are not to be messed with.

 “before and after”.

Yes, I am deeply sorry to all those in the branch while I faffed about like a toddler with an itchy nappy! I promise in future i will know exactly how much I would like to put in to the account. Plus I’ll have it ready, instead of having to rummage around my bag, I hope I didn’t make any of you late for the rest of your morning.

 “Cheese”.

And Finally……

A man passed with a two small children. I heard him say “unless you eat all your dinner, you won’t get any sweets “. I’ll have to try that with a few hobbits I know!

 “The castle gatehouse”.

While visiting the world garden of Lullingstone castle in Kent, I became distracted by a number of vintage planes circling above very noisily. Later i discovered that these were taking part in Biggin Hill Air show. I must go one year.

 “Thats a BIG Bird”!.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:

“A Girls Guide To TV”, (TX: 09/06/18). “All About Steve”, (2009). “Bauhaus 100”, (TX: 21/08/19). “Bauhaus Rules With Vic Reeves”, (TX: 21/08/19). “Click”, (ep 1006, TX: 17/08/19). “Dancing D.i.C – Yes D.i.C Dances”, (TX: 15/05/19). “Dexter”, (S2, ep 3 to 7). “D.i.C In Suggested Reality-Pocket D.i.C Beta Test”. “D.i.C Talks”, (ep 2, TX: 22/02/18). “Doctor Who, An Unearthly Child”, (S1, ep 1, TX: 23/11/1963). “Doctor Who, Castrovalva”, (S19, ep 1, TX: 04/01/1982). “Due Date”, (2010). “Fear The Walking Dead”, (S5, ep 10). “Final Space”, (S2, ep 9). “From Dusk Till Dawn”, (1996). “Gameface”, (S2, ep 6). “Ghost Town”, (2008). “Inside The Factory”, (S5, ep 4, TX: 20/08/19). “Kathy Burke’s All Women”, (S1, ep 2, TX: 20/08/19). “Legion”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 8)(S2, ep 1). “Lucy And D.i.C (Original Short)”, (2017). “Lucy And D.i.C”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 3). “Lucy And D.i.C, Mini-Adventures”, (ep 1 & ep 2). “Lucy And D.i.C, Season 1 Outtakes”. “Lucy And D.i.C, Season 1 Trailer”, (TX: 09/07/19). “Mortimer And Whitehouse Gone Fishing”, (S2, ep 4, TX: 23/08/19). “Natural World: The Octopus In My House”, (2019/20, ep 5, TX: 22/08/19). “Pandora”, (S1, ep 6). “Revolutions: Ideas That Changed The World”, (S1, ep 5, TX: 20/08/19). “Skies Above Britain”, (S1, ep 1, TX: 17/08/16)(ep 2, TX: 24/08/16)(ep 3, 31/08/16)(ep 4, TX: 07/09/16). “The Misadventures Of Romesh Ranganathan”, (S2, ep 4, TX: 18/08/19). “The Rook”, (S1, ep 5).

This week I have mainly been listening to:

“30 Animals That Made Us Smarter (BBC World Service)”, (S1, ep 22, 19/08/19). “Codes That Changed The World (BBC Radio 4)”, (ep 1, 06/04/15)(ep 2, 07/04/15)(ep 3, 08/04/15)(ep 4, 09/04/15)(ep 5, 10/04/15). “Daddy Look At Me”, (S1, ep 12, 22/08/19). “Go Guerilla FilmCast”, (ep 61, 19/08/19). “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (16/08/19). “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (15/08, 16/08, 19/08, 20/08, 21/08, 22/08/19). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (17/08, 23/08/19). “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 106, 23/08/19). “NASA In Silicon Valley Live”, (24/06/19). “NASA In Silicon Valley Live: Apollo 50^th Anniversary Show”, (19/07/19). “Rule Of Three”, (08/08/19). “Space Boffins Podcast: TheNakedScientist”, (10/05/13) (10/07/13) (10/08/13) (10/10/13) (10/12/13) (10/04/17) (10/05/17) (10/06/17) (10/07/17) (10/10/17) (12/03/18). “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 156, 23/08/19). “Strange Times”, (ep 312, 18/08/19). “The Angelos And Barry Podcast”, (23/01/15, rpt 21/08/19)(19/02/15, rpt 21/08/19)(24/10/18, rpt 21/08/19). “The Nick Abbot Habit”, (19/08/19). “Morrissey”, “Green Day”, “Noel Gallaghers High Flying Birds”, “The Strokes”, “U2”, “Placebo”, “Manic Street Preachers”, “Nirvana”, “Snow Patrol”, “Blondie”, “Train”, “The Chemical Brothers”.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in Sri Lanka. Dubai (International Airport). West Sussex (Gatwick Airport). Surrey. Central, East and West London (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 269 Saturday 10^th until Friday 16^thAugust 2019.

Sri Lanka 2019 special Sri Lanka 2019 Special.

From 4th until 11th Aug, my sisters and i were in Sri Lanka. SAZ and Hel had been a few times over recent years, but this was my first visit for 32 years! While there we saw relatives and the sites. Plus, close encounters with beautiful animals, some more exotic than others.

“Drinking and flying, so much fun”.

One of the first things i did when i arrived home was to dump all the pictures from the various cameras I took with me onto the computer. This was when i discovered that during the week i had taken around 2500 pictures! Due to being broke after the trip, i am sadly unable to hire The O2, The Royal Albert Hall or even Thornton Heath’s Darby And Joan Hall to show you them. So instead this week’s blog is basically lots of pics (not all 2500, don’t worry) which hopefully will give you a flavour of the trip.

“With cuz Jezzer”.

Thanks in no particular order to SAZ, Hel, Jezzer (Jeremy), Yaan and Andrea (and girls), Bevo and Lal and Uncle Ellis. Plus thanks to Nishantha and Imran for helping to get us around from location to location.

“With Bevo, Lal, Yaan and Jezzer”.

“Uncle Ellis”.

“Loving the infinity pool”.

“Making friends”.

“Nishantha our driver at the Elephant Orphange”.

“Loved this kitten, fed it Hels left over burger”.

“Found my new calling, Colombo Tuk Tuk driver”.

“Cheap, tasty food. During a pitstop“.

“If only i was an artist like this lady”.

“Imran, an excellent Tuk Tuk driver.

“I really enjoyed watching trains pass”.

“Visiting the Tsunami museum”.

 “SAZ and i conquered the rock, by climbing to the top”.

 “Some distant relatives”.

“My baby sisters”.

And Finally……

Normal services of me moaning about being in the capital will return next week. Just in case you were wondering.

“Writing this shiz, in the back of the van”.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:

“Alita: Battle Angel”, (2019). “Bitten”, (S1, ep 2). “Black Spot”, (S1, ep 2). “Click”, (ep 1004, TX: 03/08/19)(ep 1005, TX: 10/08/19). “Dark”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 4). “Dexter”, (S1, ep 11 & ep 12)(S2, ep 1 & ep 2). “Fear The Walking Dead”, (S5, ep 9). “Final Space”, (S2, ep 8). “Gameface”, (S2, ep 4 & ep 5). “Horizon: How To Build A Time Machine”, (2018, ep 3, TX: 10/07/18). “Inside The Factory”, (S5, ep 2, TX: 06/08/19)(ep 3, TX: 13/08/19). “Kathy Burke’s All Women”, (S1, ep 1, TX: 13/08/19). “Krypton”, (S2, ep 10). “Mortal Engines”, (2018). “Mortimer And Whitehouse Gone Fishing”, (S2, ep 2, TX: 09/08/19)(ep 3, TX: 16/08/19). “Panarama: Stacey Meets The IS Brides”, (TX: 05/08/19). “Pandora”, (S1, ep 4 & ep 5). “Revolutions: Ideas That Changed The World”, (S1, ep 3, TX: 06/08/19)(ep 4, TX: 13/08/19). “Stacey Dooley Investigates: Nigeria’s Female Suicide Bombers”, (TX: 14/08/19). “Terry Nation Army”, (S1, Bonus ep, TX: 12/08/19). “The Kapil Sharma Show”, (S2, ep 63 (ep 194 in total), TX: 10/08/19). “The Misadventures Of Romesh Ranganathan”, (S2, ep 2, TX: 04/08/19)(ep 3, TX: 11/08/19). “The Sky At Night”, (ep 792, TX: 11/08/19). “This Way Up”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 6). “Westworld”, (S1, ep 5). “Wu Assassins”, (S1, ep 1).

This week I have mainly been listening to:

“30 Animals That Made Us Smarter (BBC World Service)”, (S1, ep 21, 12/08/19). “Brian Gittens And Friends”, (ep 62, 12/08/19). “Daddy Look At Me”, (S1, ep 11 15/08/19). “Griefcast”, (ep 90, 24/07/19). “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (13/08/19). “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (05/08, 06/08, 07/08, 08/08, 10/08, 12/08, 13/08, 14/08/19). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (10/08, 16/08/19). “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 104, 09/08/19)(ep 105, 16/08/19). “Rule Of Three”, (08/08/19). “Space Boffins Podcast: TheNakedScientist”, (10/09/13) (10/09/17) (10/10/17)(14/08/19). “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 154, 09/08/19)(ep 155, 16/08/19). “The Nick Abbot Habit”, (12/08/19). “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 88, 01/08/19). “Morrissey”, “LCD Soundsystem”, “Suede”, “David Bowie”, “The White Stripes”, “The Killers”, “MGMT”, “Air”, “Elbow”, “Blur”.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in Surrey, West Sussex (Gatwick Airport), Dubai (International Airport) and Sri Lanka.

Week 268, Saturday 3rd until 9th August 2019.

This week my sisters and I have been in Sri Lanka, visiting family and seeing the sites. Next weeks blog will reveal all, including which numpty booked 2 rooms (if you want to guess early, then please send your message by Tuk Tuk to the usual address in Colombo 3).

Thank you SAZ and Hel for being great travelling companions. Lots of love and special thanks to Jezzer Lucas. Yaan (and family). Bevo and Lal. And Uncle Ellis.

This week I have mainly watched the following……

“Baby’s Day Out“, (1994). “Bitten”, (1, ep 1). “Black Spot“, (S1, ep 1). “Buck Roger’s in The 25th Century”, (S1, ep 4 & ep 5). “Captain Marvel“, (2019). “Comedy Shorts: Brain In Gear“, (TX: 03/08/19). “Comedy Shorts: Funny Valentine: ep 3: Sara Pascoe: Music Lovers“, (TX: 13/02/15). “DC Swamp Thing”, (S1, ep 10). “Dark“, (S1, ep 1). “Deadpool 2”, (2018). “Final Space”, (S2, ep 7). “Have I Got News For You“, (S53, ep 1, TX: 21/04/17). “IZombie”, (S5, ep 13). “Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle“, (2017). “Jurassic World“, (2015). “Krypton”, (S2, ep 9). “Mortimer And Whitehouse Gone Fishing“, (S2, ep 1, TX: 02/08/19). “Pandora“, (S1, ep 1 to ep 3). “Premium Rush“, (2012). “Terry Nation Army“, (S1, ep 6, TX: 05/08/19). “The Mind Of Herbert Clunkerdunk“, (S1, ep 1 to ep 4). “The Rook“, (S1, ep 2 to ep 4). “Westworld“, (S1, ep 1 to ep 4).

This week I have mainly listened to the following……

“30 Animals That Made Us Smarter“, (S1, ep 20, 05/08/19). “Daddy Look At Me“, (S1, ep 10, 08/08/19). “Griefcast”, (ep 92, 07/08/19). “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (09/08/19). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (03/04, 09/08/19). “Life Coaching“, (ep 1, 01/08/19)(ep 2, 02/08/19)(ep 3, 06/08/19). “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (01/08, 02/08, 05/08, 06/08, 07/08/19). “NASA Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 103, 02/08/19). “Rule Of Three“, (01/08/19)(08/08/19). “Soundtracking with Edith Bowman”, (ep 153, 03/08/19). “Space Boffins“, (10/04/13) (10/05/13) (10/06/13) (10/11/17) (11/12/17) (10/01/18) (09/02/18). “The Nick Abbot Habit“, (05/08/19). “Morrissey”, “David Bowie”, “The Beatles”.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East, West and Central London & Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 267 Saturday 27^th July until Friday 2^ndAugust 2019.

July was LGBT pride month around the world.  I have only been to Pride London a couple of time during the early 90s.  Over the years there have been times I have wanted to take part but just didn’t feel that “I” would fit in, plus going on my own wouldn’t be much fun.

 “I slipped”…

Romford in Essex is a few miles away from where I live; it’s a place I only visit for shopping. Last Saturday when I arrived with a friend our first thought was “what’s happened here?” This was because all the emergency services were lined up.  Living in London today, when you see a couple of police cars, an ambulance and a fire engine that’s normally not a good sign.  I relaxed when I noticed that one of the paramedics had rainbow epaulettes and a couple of women walked past with paint smears across their cheeks in rainbow colours.  The second Romford Pride was taking place.

 “Londons finest, standing around”.

These days there are pride events all over, it’s not just the big cities like London, New York that people gather and celebrate who they are!  And their history.  A couple of days before it was the hottest day in recorded history, this particular Saturday could have been a contender for the wettest.  The bad weather didn’t stop the large group of people wrapped in rainbow flags and banners from enjoying themselves, meeting friends and making new ones while enjoying live entertainment from a small stage.

 “Even the Fire engine was full of Pride”.

I have kept myself away from the LGBT community for a long time.  Because I felt awkward, partly about myself and the belief that I didn’t fit in.  Plus, my interactions with other trans people in the early 90s never resulted in much.  They were very nice, but I felt that they flounced around wanting to just discuss “there journey”, which is of course important.  But I (and I only speak for myself) want to get on with my life and not keep thinking about the past. This has meant I have deliberately kept away from the very people who might understand me better than any other.

It’s only now, that I am trying to reach out.  Recently I have started to notice more and more trans people out and about.  So far “first contact” has not been made, but if it does I am ready to smile.  Before I’d have done everything not to have made eye contact and be seen by them.

 “Really nice to see these all around”.

Back in Romford!  I wasn’t at the pride event for long, if I hadn’t been in the area to do other things I think i would have stayed.  I left with a handful of leaflets, smiled at happy revellers and got bumped into by a woman dancing like Kate Bush in the Wuthering Heights video (still a damn good song and a wonderful video).  She was very apologetic; however I would have preferred a kiss!  In September I am planning on going to a LGBT group, who knows I might make a few friends which will help me feel a little more at ease with myself.  One thing I deffo won’t be doing is flounce around and discuss “my journey”, that’s so early 1990s, darling!

 “See you next year”

And Now For Something Completely Different……

I’ve talked about my love of going to the local recycling dump before.  Whenever I visit I love to stop and look at all the huge machine which wouldn’t look out of place in an episode of “Thunderbirds” (I’m talking about the original 1965-66 series, of course).

 “Is MOZ growing an alien seed pod”.

Last weekend I helped my friend visit the tip.  Looking over the edge of the skip for electrical goods all i could see were fans.  I mentioned earlier last week we had the hottest day in recorded history; personally Venus would have been a more comfortable than London.  It would appear that locally a lot of people discovered that there old fans were not working and throw them away.

 “Lovely meeting Dinsdale again.  Must do this again soon”.

I know that people say if only “something” could talk.  The way technology is going in the near future fans probably will talk as well as switching themselves on and off.  Just think of the stories and/or information that might be downloadable in a few years’ time from a graveyard of old fans.  Looking down at the unwanted fans, did make me feel sad.  There really must be a better way of getting rid of items like this.  We’ll carry that conversation over to another week!

  “Even in the rain, an open air cinema is exciting”.

And Finally……

Got squirted as a friend opened a grapefruit. I looked up and said, “if I get pregnant, then I know who to blame”.

 “Near the open air cinema”.

Walking into the kitchen holding a paperback I proudly stated, “I’ve read an entire paragraph, that’s more than I have done in years”.  My friend looking confused said, “do you mean chapter?”.  (Just to clarify all my reading these days involves ebooks. It’s nice to be walking round with an actual paperback).

 “What a pretty girl”.

Speaking to a man on a bad phone line, I asked his partners last name.  I thought he said Slapper, which made me smile like a school kid.  I’m so glad I didn’t say anything, because when he repeated what he said the name was nothing like what I heard.  Phew, just got away with that!

 “Sri Lanka, here i come”.

NEXT WEEK…. “The Lucas Sisters Tour” continues from Sri Lanka.  We’re visiting family and of course seeing the sites.  I’ll meet you beside the pool with a drink for a spot skinny dipping.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“Another Life”, (S1, ep 4 to ep 10).  “Click”, (ep 1003, TX: 27/07/19).  “DC: Swamp Thing”, (S1, ep 9).  “Dexter”, (S1, ep 2 to ep 10).  “Final Space”, (S2, ep 6).  “Focus: The Silicon Valley Space Race (BBC News)”, (TX: 22/07/19).  “From Dusk Till Dawn”, (1996).  “From Dusk Till Dawn (TV Series)”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 3).  “Game Face”, (S2, ep 3). “How To Train Your Dragon 2”, (2014).  “Inside The Factory”, (S5, ep 1, TX: 30/07/19).  “James May On The Moon”, (TX: 21/06/2009).  “Krypton”, (S2, ep 7 & ep 8).  “Moonshot (BBC Cymru / Wales)”, (TX: 16/07/19).  “NASA Triumphs And Tragedy”, (ep 1, “One Small Step”, TX:24/06/2009)(ep 2, “One Giant Leap”, TX: 01/07/2009).  “Revolutions: Ideas That Changed The World”, (S1, ep 2, TX: 30/07/19).  “Stacey Dooley: Face To Face With The Bounty Hunters”, (TX: 31/07/19).  “Surviving Sid”, (2008).  “Terry Nation Army”, (S1, ep 5, TX: 29/07/19).  “The Chase”, (S3, ep 19, TX: 27/01/11).  “The Crystal Maze: Celebrity Crystal Maze”, (S6, ep 6, TX: 26/07/19).  “The Misadventures Of Romesh Ranganathan”, (S2, ep 1, TX: 28/07/19).  “The Rook”, (S1, ep 1).   “Typewriter”, (S1, ep 5).  “IZombie”, (S5, ep 12).   

This week I have mainly been listening to:  

“30 Animals That Made Us Smarter (BBC World Service)”, (S1, ep 19, 29/07/19).  “Buffy Speak”, (ep 12, 05/06/16).  “Daddy Look At Me”, (ep 9, 01/08/19).  “Griefcast”, (ep 90, 24/07/19).  “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (2 x 26/07, 29/07, 30/07/19).  “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (26/07, 29/07, 30/07, 31/07/19).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (30/07, 31/07/19).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (27/07, 02/08/19).  “Like Minded Friends”, (23/05/19).  “SpaceBoffinsPodcast:TheNakedScientist”,(11/02/19)(16/01/19)(13/12/18)(12/11/18)(10/10/18)(11/09/18)(10/08/18)(10/07/18)(10/06/18)(11/05/18)(10/04/18)(10/02/13)(10/01/13)(10/09/12)(10/12/12).  “Strange Times”, (ep 311, 31/07/19).  “The All New Angelos And Barry Podcast”, (01/08/19).  “The Nick Abbot Habit”, (29/07/19).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 88, 01/08/19).  “Morrissey”,  “Madness”, “Adam And The Ants”,  “Lana Del Rey”,  “Sophie B Hawkins”,  “The KLF”,  “The Flaming Lips”,  “The Vaccines”,  “James”, “The Dandy Warhols”.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East and West London & Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 266 Saturday 20^th until Friday 26^thJuly 2019.

The friend I live with has a little car.  Because the local council won’t cut the tree next to her house that lots of birds love to sit on, the car is covered over when not in use because of all there poop.

 “I should have dusted for finger prints, ive seen enough C.S.I”.

Last weekend was the first time in a couple of weeks that the car had been used.  As soon as the cover was removed I noticed something wrong.  The driver side passenger wheel was black instead of sliver. Looking closely, I discovered that the hubcap was missing! Walking round I noticed the front passenger hubcap showed signs of being tampered with.  Here is my “Crimewatch” reconstruction of what I think took place.  The culprit creeped up to the car and tried to steal the passenger front hubcap but realised that they were exposed.  So hid at the back between a bush and the car.

 “The scumbag hid here”.

The following are photofits that my Niece and Nephew have drawn of the scumbag concerned.  If you see this person, then please let me know behind the normal wheelie bin outside the chip shop.

 “Anoodles on the left says “I stole De De (what she calls me) hubcap”.  JBombs on the right says “I am a naughty man”.

Stealing is sadly part of the human condition. Let’s be honest “we” all want what another has, and if it’s free that’s even better.  I suspect that even in prehistoric times, one caveman would jealousy eye up a neighbour’s larger pile of rocks.  My life of crime came to an end when I was 4, after mum marched me back to the local newsagents to return a packet of Wrigleys gum that mysteriously found its way into my pocket.

 “Someone celebrating finishing infants school”.

I hope that the person who stole the hubcap has put it to good use.  After the initial shock all kinds’ preventive measures were running around my mind.  Such as fitting barbwire or adding a Boudica spike to each of the remaining ones.  Could the hubcaps be rigged up to the battery or coated with anti-theft paint or glue!  However, the best preventive measure is just keep an eye on the car and hoping for the best.

 “How long will this one live”.

And Now For Something Completely Different……

At school I didn’t do an Individual science, due to being considered thick.  As a result I did “general” science which mainly consisted of sitting at the back of the class fiddling with the gas taps and dreaming.  If only I had been cleverer or given more help then maybe I could have been a scientist who specialised in space.

 “How cute is this little lady”.

I love space, fact and fiction.  I am definitely an armchair astronomer and scientist. Unless you have lived down the bottom of a well recently you will know that last Saturday (21st July) was the 50th anniversary of Neil and Buzz strolling on the moon. Let’s not forget my personal fave astronaut Michael Collins, who orbited the moon’s surface as he piloted the command module Columbia.

 “Not a design i liked“.

I was 9 months old and am told that I saw the moon landing with my parents.  Maybe this influenced my lifelong love of the stars.  It’s such a pity the soggy mass inside my skull wasn’t very good, or more importantly why didn’t I listen to my parents and the teachers (I tell my niece and nephews, study now it’s not for long compared to the amount of time that they will have to mess around and enjoy after.  I wouldn’t want them ending up like me in a call centre!).

 “This was not going to be a comfortable day”.

As a child I wrote to NASA, I can’t remember if I got a reply!  And visit their website most days.  Whenever they or ESA (European Space Agency) ask for new astronaut applications I always have a look even though of course I couldn’t apply (due to being stupid).  If I had enough money I would definitely pay for an orbital trip with one of the commercial companies hoping to start flights soon.  Or if I was a lotto jackpot winner I would become a space tourist and spend 10 days on board the ISS. Unfortunately i don’t do the lotto, and working in a call centre is never going to pay enough to reach orbit.

 “Its rare i smile at work”.

Recently I have enjoyed a large number of programmes and podcast about Apollo 11. Personally I think it’s a pity humans didn’t continue to visit our nearest Celestial neighbour.  However NASA plans on returning in 2024 with “The Artemis Program”, when the first women will step foot on the regolith.  This is intended as the start of a sustainable human presence.  Which will lead to humanity walking on Mars by the mid-2030s.  Hopefully by then I’ll have stopped working in a call centre, so I can enjoy all the exciting coverage from an armchair.  The place I do all my best science!

 “The hottest day of the year”.

Happy anniversary NASA.  Thank you to the 400.000 people that made Apollo 11 possible allowing Neil, Buzz and Michael to make history and influence millions.

 “I liked mine while along the high street”.

And Finally……

While fondling a sharp pronged forked implement in a garden centre.  An old man walked past just as i said loudly “just think of the damage I could do with this”!  He gave me a wide berth.

 “Writing this shiz, while Katie speaks dirty!”.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“600 Bottles Of Wine”, (S1, ep 2 to ep 4).  “Another Life”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 3).  “Click”, (ep 1002, TX: 20/07/19).  “Comedy Shorts: Sorry”, “Lazy Susan” & “Mandy”, (TX: 25/07/19).  “DC: Swamp Thing”, (S1, ep 8).  “Dexter”, (S1, ep 1).  “Fear The Walking Dead”, (S5, ep 8).  “Final Space”, (S2, ep 5).  “Game Face”, (S2, ep 2).  “James May’s Toy Stories: Flight Club”, (TX: 23/12/12).  “Horizon: Britain’s Next Air Disaster? : Drones”, (S2019, ep 3, TX: 01/07/19).  “Horizon: Inside The Social Network Facebook’s Difficult Year”, (S2019, ep 2, TX: 16/07/19).  “Horizon: The 250 Million Pound Cancer Cure”, (S2019, ep 5, TX: 22/07/17).  “Horizon: The Honest Supermarket: What’s Really In Our Food?”, (S2019, ep 4, TX: 08/07/19).  “Los Espooky”, (S1, ep 6).  “MISFITS”, (S5, ep 5 to ep 8).  “NOS4A2”, (S1, ep 7 & ep 8).  “Planespotting Live”, (S1, ep 1, TX: 23/07/19)(ep 2, TX: 24/07/19)(ep 3, TX: 25/07/19).  “Revolutions: Ideas That Changed The World”, (S1, ep 1, TX: 23/07/19).  “Summer Of Rockets”, (S1, ep 5).  “Terry Nation Army”, (S1, ep 4, TX: 22/07/19).  “The Clangers: Season 3 Preview”, (TX: 13/07/19).  “The Crystal Maze: Celebrity Crystal Maze”, (S6, ep 5, TX: 19/07/19).  “Typewriter”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 4).    

I also watched the following Apollo 50^th Anniversary or Space related shows.   

“Blue Peter: Apollo 11 Special”, (TX: 18/07/19).  “For All Mankind”, (TX: 20/07/19).  “James May At The Edge Of Space”, (TX: 21/06/09).  “Moon Landing Live”, (TX: 20/07/19).  “Moon Landing Live: Update”, (ep 6, TX: 20/07/19).  “Neil Armstrong: The First Man On The Moon”, (TX: 30/12/12).  “The Clangers”, (S3, ep 1, TX: 17/07/19).

This week I have mainly been listening to:  

“30 Animals That Made Us Smarter (BBC World Service)”, (S1, ep 18, 22/07/19).  “Anti Social Show”, (ep 75, 16/07/19).  “Brian Gittens And Friends”, (ep 61, 22/07/19).  “Buffy Speak”, (ep 10, 22/05/16)(ep 11, 29/05/16).  “Daddy Look At Me”, (ep 8, 25/07/19).  “Griefcast”, (ep 90, 24/07/19).  “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (25/07/19).  “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (17/07, 19/07, 21/07,  23/07, 24/07, 25/07/19).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (20/07, 21/07, 26/07/19).  “Rule Of Three”, (25/07/19).  “Strange Times”, (ep 310, 18/07/19).  “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 101, 21/07/19).  “The Comedy Club Interviews: Tosspots With Jake Yapp! (BBC Radio 4 Extra)”.  “The Nick Abbot Habit”, (22/07/19).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 87, 25/07/19).  “Morrissey”,  “Soft Cell”, “Blondie”,  “Shed Seven”,  “Tame Impala”,  “Culture Club”,  “Feeder”,  “Aerosmith”,  “The Cure”.

I also listened to  the following Apollo 50^th Anniversary or Space related shows.   

“13 Minutes To The Moon, (BBC World Service)”, (ep 12, 20/07/19).  “Jo Durrant Beautiful Universe (BBC Radio Gloucestershire)”, (20/07/19).  “NASA Edge: Apollo XI, 40^th Anniversary”, (ep 40, 16/07/2009).  “NASA Explores Apollo”, (Trailer 11/06/19)(ep 1 to ep 4, 19/06/19)(Bonus ep 19/07/19).  “NASA: Gravity Assist”, (18/07/19).  “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 102, 26/07/19).  “So Where Are All The Aliens, (BBC World Service)”, (12/02/19).  “Space Boffins Podcast: The Naked Scientist”, (10/06/12)(10/07/12)(10/08/12)(11/03/19)(10/04/19)(16/05/19)(Apollo 11, pt 1, 10/06/19 & pt 2, 10/07/19).  “Witness History: Valentina Tereshkova, Cosmonaut, (BBC World Service)”, (16/07/19).

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in Ibiza (Spain), West Sussex, East and West London (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 265 Saturday 13^th until Friday 19^thJuly 2019.

“JBomb photo bombing mum”.

Last week (6th to 13th July) I was on the beautiful Balearic island of Ibiza with family for the second year. If you have read this ramble before you will know that other than “Doctor Who”, “Star Trek” and “Star Wars” I love to travel.

“Its Gatwick, not a mirror world”.

Over the last couple of years, I have been trying to get back to Tofo, Mozambique. One of the most beautiful places on the planet I have ever seen! However, after 3yrs I’m starting to realise that maybe that particular dream will never become a reality. That thought really makes me very sad.

“Loving the villa. Out and about with my little friends”.

After the recent trip (and of course last year’s visit) I have decided to look at the possibilities of spending an extended period in the Mediterranean, more specifically the Ibiza. One issue, i don’t speak Spanish but surely I can learn, there must be room for basic Spanish in the soggy mass I call a brain!

“Mars or the Mediterranean?”.

The family hire a villa in the Saint Joan de Labritja, out in the sticks with the nearest neighbours were a good couple of hundred metres in any direction. None of us are really party people. There is nothing not too like about the island. Is it strange that I particularly love the red Martian like dust / soil seen all over? The BIG question, could someone like me with no actual talent in anything exist in a place like that. Over the next few months I must think about my future.

“Everyone enjoyed the pool”.

For this week’s blog I thought I would trawl through the hundreds (and I really do mean hundreds) of pictures and choose ones I liked and write a line or two about them. Its either this or you’ll all have to come round and sit on my friend’s new sofa and bore you with a slide show going in detail about each snap. It’s up to you! If you’re reading this at work, you have the advantage of being paid to look at my holiday pictures.

“Fun in the sun and heat”.

As I mentioned at the start of this ramble, I love to travel. In a couple of weeks’ time I’m travelling with my baby (hope they don’t mind me calling them babies, there adults who are far more responsible than I am) sisters to visit Sri Lanka to see relatives. More about that nearer the time.

“We all fell for the views. Yes i did swim out to the rocks”.

And Finally……

“Nothing to see in the skinny dipping picture. Please move along”.

At Gatwick Airport while sitting at the gate waiting for family to arrive. The reason we were separated is very boring. Don’t worry, it didn’t involve me being taken into a small room and probed with rubber gloves.

“A pair looking at Pairs”.

Standing next to me was a group of women clearly ready for a damn good time. A couple were talking about the fact that they had not brought any spare knickers. That conversation stopped when they noticed a group of men standing the other side of the gate / waiting room. Imagine the scene a pride of lions (the women) noticing a dazzle (according to the net) of defenceless Zebra’s (the men) wondering aimlessly around a watering hole. I almost felt sorry for the guys; it was going to be a messy weekend for some people!

“Someone will have a memorable scar in the future. A kiss as the sun goes down”.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

Writing this shiz, while distracted by the beauty of Ibiza”.

This week I have mainly been watching:

“600 Bottles Of Wine”, (S1, ep 1). “Click”, (ep 1000, TX: 06/07/19)(ep 1001, 13/07/19). “DC: Swamp Thing”, (S1, ep 7). “Fear The Walking Dead”, (S5, ep 7). “Final Space”, (S2, ep 4). “Game Face”, (S2, ep 1). “Game Of Thrones”, (S2, ep 7). “IZombie”, (S5, ep 11). “Krypton”, (S2, ep 6). “Los Espooky”, (S1, ep 5). “Louis Theroux: Surviving America’s Most Hated Family”, (TX: 14/07/19). “MISFITS”, (S4, ep 7 & ep 8)(S5, ep 1 to ep 4). “NOS4A2”, (S1, ep 6). “Strange Things”, (S3, ep 6 to ep 8). “Terry Nation Army”, (S1, ep 3, TX: 15/07/19). “The Crystal Maze: Celebrity Crystal Maze”, (S6, ep 4, TX: 12/07/19). “The Graham Norton Show”, (S25, ep 13, TX: 28/06/19). “The Last Leg”, (S17, ep 8, TX: 05/07/19)(ep 9, TX: 12/07/19). “Top Gear”, (S27, ep 5, TX: 15/07/19). “Tucker And Dale Vs Evil”, (2010). “Year Of The Rabbit”, (S1, ep 5 & ep 6).

I also watched the following Apollo 50^th Anniversary or Space related shows.

“8 Days To The Moon And Back”, (TX: 10/07/19). “CBEEBIES Stargazing Special”, (TX: 12/07/19). “Chasing The Moon”, (ep 1 & ep 2, TX: 16/07/19)(ep 3 & ep 4, TX: 17/07/19)(ep 5 & ep 6, TX: 18/07/19). “Horrible Histories: Moon Mayhem”, (S8, ep 7, TX: 08/07/19). “Horizon: 40 Years On The Moon”, (TX: 09/07/09). “Horizon: Guide To Space Shuttles”, (TX: 10/04/11). “Maddie’s: Do You Know? : Lifts And Spacesuits”, (S2, ep 18, TX: 05/09/18). “Moon Landing Live Update”, (ep 1, TX: 15/07/19)(ep 2, 16/07/19)(ep 3, 17/07/19)(ep 4, TX: 18/07/19)(ep 5, TX: 19/07/19). “Moon Launch Live”, (TX: 13/07/19). “Stargazing Moon Landing Special”, (TX: 15/07/19). “The Sky At Night: The Moon, The Mission And The BBC”, (TX: 14/07/19). “The Day We Walked On The Moon”, (TX: 16/07/19).

This week I have mainly been listening to:

“13 minutes To The Moon (BBC World Service)”, (S1, ep 10 & ep 11, 15/07/19). “30 Animals That Made Us Smarter (BBC World Service)”, (S1, ep 17, 15/07/19). “Daddy Look At Me”, (ep 7, 18/07/19). “Griefcast”, (ep 89, 17/07/19). “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (09/07, 10/07, 15/07, 16/07/19). “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (18/07/19). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (13/07, 18/07, 19/07/19). “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 101, 18/07/19). “Rule Of Three”, (18/07/19). “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 150, 12/07/19)(ep 151, 19/07/19). “Space (BBC World Service)”, (ep 23, 13/07/19). “Strange Times”, (ep 308, 28/06/19)(ep 309, 17/07/19). “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 100, 12/07/19). “The All New Angelos And Barry Podcast”, (16/07/19). “The Nick Abbot Habit”, (15/07/19). “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 85, 12/07/19)(ep 86, 19/07/19). “Morrissey”, “Elbow”, “Fraser Chorus”, “Betty Boo”, “Hans Zimmer, Theme to 13 Minutes To The Moon (BBC World Service)”, “The Velvet Underground”, “Pulp”, “Lush”, “Throwing Muses”.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in Surrey, West Sussex and Ibiza Spain.

Week 264, Saturday 6th until Friday 12th July 2019.

This week I’ve been on holiday with family in Ibiza. And what a wonderful 7 days it’s been.

These are the highlights for each of the above including me. But which statement fits which person?

One person read a lot of books!

One person got in a swimming pool for the first time in a year!

One person needed a Doctor and had a stitch!

One person spent 4 hours on a li-low with two inflatables (one a Flamingo) on there tummy and floated around the pool!

One person fell in the pool by accident

One person skinny dipped a lot

And finally one person swam in the sea most days.

These are genuine moments from this week I will remember.

If you can guess which statement is for which person, then keep it to yourself, and award yourself a prize.

Thank you, SAZ, Tim, Hel, Mum, Anoodle and Jbomb for a lovely seven days.

This week I have mainly been watching!

“DC Swamp Thing“, (S1, ep 6). “Fear The Walking Dead“, (S5, ep 6). “Final Space“, (S2, ep 3). “Izombie“, (S5, ep 10). “Krypton“, (S2, ep 5). “Los Espookys“, (S1, ep 4). “Scream, The TV Series“, (S1, ep 1). “Stranger Things“, (S3, ep 1, ep 5). “Terry Nation Army“, (S1, ep 2, TX: 08/07/19). “Top Gear“, (S27 ep 4, TX: 07/07/19).

This week I have mainly been listening to!

“13 Minutes To The Moon, (BBC World Service)“, (S1, ep 9, 08/07/19). “30 Animals That Made Us Smarter, (BBC World Service)“, (S1, ep 16, 08/07/19). “Daddy Look At Me“, (S1, ep 6, 12/07/19). “Griefcast“, (ep 88, 10/07/19). “Iain Lee, (Bonus)“, (04/07/19). “Iain Lee, (Highlights)“, (04/07, 08,07/19). “LBC, Mystery Hour“, (3 Podcast eps released, 10/07/19). “LBC, Nick Abbot, (whole show)”, (06/07, 12/07/19). “NASA, Houston We Have A Podcast“, (ep 100, 12/07/19). “Space, (BBC world Service)”, (ep 22, 13/07/19). “The Adam Buxton Podcast“, (ep 99, 08/07/19). “Morrissey“, “Smiths“, “White FM 103.7, Ibiza”, “The Beach Boys“, “The Cure“, “The Thompson Twins“, “Queen“, “Blur“, “Radiohead“, “Tame Impala“, “Frank Sinatra“.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East and West London, Essex & Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 263 Saturday 29th June until Friday 5thJuly 2019.

Last weekend was the hottest (in temperature) Glastonbury festival ever. Watching TV coverage it appeared that the 135,000 people who each paid £248.00 had a damn good time. Early Monday I saw a group at Victoria station with rucksacks looking tired and grubby there skin red, burnt to a crisp (admittedly they might not have been at Glasto) from the unforgiving sun during the weekend. But they were smiling.

I would love to go to Glasto, what puts me off is the price and the sheer number of people that attend. My festival experiences have mainly been inner city one day events. The type where no one’s interested in the support acts, it’s the headliner that everybody there to see. As soon as the gates open people stake there claim to a little patch of grass. If there in a group they can take turns to visit the loo or buy overpriced food and drink. However if your a “billy no mates” you have to hope that there are honest people around who will look after your belongings when a wee is required. The beauty of these events is that you can go home afterward.

My experience of a weekend event is The Reading Festival, which i visited a couple of times in the early 90s. A few memorable bands I saw include Nirvana, Manic Street Preachers, Tindersticks, Elastica, and Cypress Hill. Festivals like Reading and Glasto are small cites that appear for a few days then vanish for another year. Look away from the multiple stages of live music, food and other stalls you will see fields of tents, which i think are unnecessary. Who gets any sleep at these events! Even when the sun goes down there is music coming from every direction. At festivals like this everyone makes friends for life, who of course are never seen again!

My saddest memory of Reading is that my father had died whilst I was there. The night he passed away coincidently wasn’t a good night for me. I even left the site and tried to get a train home, but there was nothing until the morning. Once back at the festival i wrapped myself in a blanket and walked around with all the other lost souls. This all took place as my dad took his last breath. I think about that night often.

I enjoy watching Glasto and other festivals on TV. In the days before catch up telly, there was no choice but to watch the entire transmission. Nowadays I can watch live or pick and choose the bands I want to see. These days I am definitely an armchair reveller it’s the best way of attending events like this. By staying at home I save lots of money, but more importantly I never need to go any near the famous festival loos. There grim at the best of times! What must they have been like last weekend in that heat.

And Now For Something Completely Different……

Next week I return with members of the family to Ibiza. I intend on spending as much of the week as possible in or around the pool. A lot of that time will be spent catching my nephew and niece as they jump in.

During last years trip there were a few days when I felt unwell. A recent joke with family has been that “you cannot be unwell this year”. Last weekend a little cough appeared, when I mentioned this to my sisters they both replied by message immediately “Noooo”! Don’t worry I have been swigging from a bottle of tasty cough mixture. There is a possibility that I have slightly overdosed, as I type this my head is feeling woozy.

Highlights** next week may include a review of DJ Grandma spinning the wheels of steel at a Pasha foam party. Anoodle and JBomb explaining how they raced around the island Top Gear style on dodgy rental vespa’s. SAZ and Tim’s talking about their mysterious disappearance for a couple of days, only to return with huge smiles claiming they were abducted by aliens. And will Aunty Hel succeed in her Guinness skinny dipping freediving record attempt in the pool.

Please return next week for the Ibiza 2019 blog. (** i blame the cough medicine for letting my imagination run wild, none of the above highlights will happen).

And Finally……

After dealing with an enquiry on the phone, I asked “if there was anything else I could do”. The woman on the other end of the line said that she had recently been involved in a messy break up and wanted to know if I could arrange for her ex hubby to be killed.

Don’t worry I didn’t say that we could do it. However, maybe I should mention this to management, it might be an excellent new way of making money.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:

“Click”, (ep 999, TX: 29/06/19. “DC: Swamp Thing”, (S1, ep 5). “Fear The Walking Dead”, (S5, ep 5). “Final Space”, (S2, ep 2). “Game Of Thrones”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 10)(S2, ep 1 to ep 6). “Glastonbury 2019”, (Tame Impala, The Charlatans, TX: 28/06/19)(The Killers, TX: 29/06/19)(Billie Eilish, Christine And The Queens, The Cure, The Good, The Bad & The Queen, The Streets, TX: 30/06/19). “Have I Got News For You”, (S57, ep 6, TX: 09/06/19). “Krypton”, (S2, ep 4). “Los Espooky”, (S1, ep 3). “LOST”, (S1, ep 1 & ep 2). “MARVEL’s Jessica Jones”, (S3, ep 4 & ep 5). “MISFITS”, (S4, ep 4 to ep 6). “NOS4A2”, (S1, ep 5). “Solo, A Star Wars Story”, (2018). “Terry Nation Army”, (ep 1, 01/07/19). “The Crystal Maze: Celebrity Crystal Maze”, (S6, ep 3, TX: 05/07/19). “The Last Leg”, (S17, ep 7, TX: 28/06/19). “Top Gear”, (S27, ep 3, TX: 30/06/19). “Year Of The Rabbit”, (S1, ep 4).

This week I have mainly been listening to:

“13 minutes To The Moon (BBC World Service)”, (S1, ep 8, 01/07/19). “30 Animals That Made Us Smarter (BBC World Service)”, (S1, ep 15, 01/07/19). “Bian Gittens And Friends”, (ep 60, 02/07/19). “Daddy Look At Me”, (ep 5, 04/07/19). “Griefcast”, (ep 87, 03/07/19). “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (02/07/19). “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (01/07, 02/07, 03/07/19). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (29/06, 05/07/19). “Like Minded Friends”, (ep 139, 03/07/19). “NASA: Gravity Assist”, (28/06/19). “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 99, 05/07/19). “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 148, 28/06/19)(ep 149, 05/07/19). “Space (BBC World Service)”, (ep 13, 01/01/16)(ep 14, 06/01/16)(ep 15, 17/07/16)(ep 16, 12/01/17)(ep 17, 14/01/17)(ep 18, 20/08/17)(ep 19, 20/11/17)(ep 20, 11/01/18)(bonus ep, 20/05/19). “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 98, 30/06/19). “The Nick Abbot Habit”, (05/07/19). “Morrissey”, “Muse”, “Kaiser Chiefs”, “Kasabian”, “The Cure”, “Catatonia”, “Arctic Monkeys”, “U2”, “The Good, The Bad & The Queen”, “Depeche Mode”, “Frankie Goes To Hollywood”, “The Human League”.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in Northamptonshire, East, West London & Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 262 Saturday 22^nd until Friday 28^thJune 2019.

I wouldn’t regard myself as a winner. Apart from a bottle of wine I recently received because I was a member of crack pub quiz (which took place in a community hall) team. I haven’t won anything since the late 80s, when I answered a question on BBC Radio One and became the proud owner of a cheap rucksack. Earlier than that I helped my sister Hel became a runner up in a competition on BBC TV Saturday Superstore (1982 to 87). She had to think up a new member of the Nessy family for the cartoon “The Family-Ness” (1984 to 85). Her entry “Illness” was all her idea; I just draw what she wanted. And because she didn’t win I suppose that doesn’t count. No, I don’t consider myself as one of life’s natural winners.

“My Precious”.
But maybe that’s all about to change, because I have recently become the first recipient of “In Poor Taste” The Golden Crotchcumber award. When Eric and Sean who host the podcast told me that I had been bestowed this honour, I didn’t know what to say. Of course, I realise that this was really given to me by there “most excellent” producer JPro who is the real genius behind the show, keeps the guys under control and holds everything together. Other hit podcast he has produced include “Hamster Ticklers Always Welcome” and the ever popular “I Bet You Cunt Drink Me Under My Table”. Many of you will also know his name from his percussion work with “Father Bastard and his Magic Band”. There Glastonbury set a couple of years will be talked about for years to come.

“Interesting footwear seen this week”.
One thing I have no idea about is how big the award is! Will it take up a whole shelf! Is the front door big enough for it to pass through! Maybe the award will have to be situated in the garden! My friend who I live with recently bought a birdbath with a solar powered fountain for the back garden. This may have to be moved so that I can admire the award when I’m sitting in the living room. There’s room for the birdbath somewhere in the back of the garden. It’s summer after all; surly any self-respecting parent bird will be busy feeding there young to be bothered with bathing! Hopefully the award won’t be too shiny and distract the large number of planes that circle as they wait for a landing slot at Heathrow.

“The pub car park looked like the Top Gear set”.
I am confident that JPro will have dealt with everything. Having it transported to the UK, as well as checking satellite images to see what type of crane he might need (If it’s as big as I suspect). What an honour this is to have been recognised for “excellence in listening”.

“Trainspotting just got very cute”.
Seriously I was speaking to someone last week who has given me a few good ideas to help my creative side possibly make me a few pennies (don’t worry I am under no illusions that I will ever be able to stop doing a proper boring job). But to do this I have to get off my lardy ass. That’s what podcasters like Sean and Eric do. They record, edit and then put their creativity out there for the world to enjoy. I need to be a little bit more like them. Even if the creative side doesn’t make any money, it’s the thought that someone might like what they have seen, even made them smile that may help me feel better.

“Enjoying Iain, Katherine and Dom on the Rabbit Hole”.
I can’t wait for my award to arrive from across the pond. Maybe Lizo Mzimba BBC entertainment correspondence might be interested in covering the story.

“Almost life sized these pics”.
You can listen to In Poor Taste by going to Podbean, itunes or www.podsburgh.com. Tell them I sent you.
And Now For Something Completely Different……

“Lets play spot the difference”.
Last weekend I spent time with my mum and sister. Its’s always relaxing and nice to be away from the capital.
Here are the edited highlights.

“Two peas in a pod”.
Being told that the beans I found in the garden and eaten, were not beans and should have gone in my mouth.
Watching a Blackbird’s nest from the kitchen window. It was lovely seeing the diligent parents feeding the 3 or 4 hungry babies. (Who have since fledged successfully).

“Look carefully, there are chicks in this picture”.
Coming out of the loo in the early hours of the morning, then suddenly hearing a voice say “hello”. Once my heart returned to its regular rhythm, I discovered my sister sitting in the kitchen in the dark with a smile on her face.

“You may all be seated”.
Visiting the canal, and watching Ducks waddling up an improvised bridge (a plank of wood) to get out of the water.

“I like looking down”.
Speaking to my Aunty Jean. Who by the time you read this will have gone on a climate change march in London. Good on you Aunty, “power to the people”.

“The food was better than i thought”.
And Finally……
Stuck at traffic lights I was entertained by looking in my rear-view mirror and watching a man on a motorbike. Who was staring at his mirror, looking up his nose from different directions?

“See it doesn’t shine out of my……”.
Plus
I am pretty sure that actress Jane Horrocks walked passed me at the train station I work near.

“Wishing i could go through the Stargate, while writing this shiz”.
My Mid Life Crisis Conts……
This week I have mainly been watching:
“Before I Go To Sleep”, (2014). “Click”, (TX: 22/06/19). “Coin Operated”, (2017). “DC: Swamp Thing”, (S1, ep 4). “Fear The Walking Dead”, (S4, ep 3 to ep 16)(S5, ep 1 to ep 4). “Final Space”, (S2, ep 1). “Game Of Thrones: The Last Watch”, (2019). “Glastonbury 2019: Georgia”, (TX: 28/06/19). “Good Omens”, (S1, ep 5 & ep 6). “In The Dark”, (S1, ep 12 & ep 13). “IZombie”, (S5, ep 8 & ep 9). “Krypton”, (S2, ep 3). “Last Voyage Of The Empress”, (2005). “London Kills”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 5). “Los Espooky”, (S1, ep 1 & ep 2). “MARVEL’s Jessica Jones”, (S3, ep 4 & ep 5). “NOS4A2”, (S1, ep 4). “Stargate SG1”, (S10, ep 5 & ep 6). “Storyville: Kate Nash, Underestimate The Girl”, (2018). “Summer Of Rockets”, (S1, ep 4). “The Crystal Maze: Celebrity Crystal Maze”, (S6, ep 2, TX: 28/06/19). “The Graham Norton Show”, (S25, ep 12, TX: 21/06/19). “The Planets”, (S1, ep 5, TX 25/06/19). “The Ranganation”, (S1, ep 6, TX: 23/06/19). “Tonight With Vladimir Putin”, (S1, ep 1 & ep 2, TX: 23/06/19). “Top Gear”, (S27, ep 2, TX: 23/06/19). “Wynonna Earp”, (S1, ep 6). “Year Of The Rabbit”, (S1, ep 3).
This week I have mainly been listening to:
“13 minutes To The Moon (BBC World Service)”, (S1, ep 7, 24/06/19). “30 Animals That Made Us Smarter (BBC World Service)”, (S1, ep 14, 24/06/19). “Buffy Speak”, (ep 7, 03/05/16)(ep 8, 08/05/16)(ep 9, 15/05/16). “Daddy Look At Me”, (ep 3, 27/06/19). “Griefcast”, (ep 86, 26/06/19). “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (26/06, 27/06/19). “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (21/06, 24/06, 25/06, 26/06, 27/06/19). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (22/06, 28/06/19). “Like Minded Friends”, (ep 4, 04/11/15)(ep 5, 11/11/15)(ep 6, 18/11/15)(ep 7, 25/11/15). “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 97, 21/06/19)(ep 98, 28/06/19). “Rule Of Three”, (01/11/18). “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 147, 22/06/19). “The All New Angelos And Barry Podcast”, (24/06/19). “The Nick Abbot Habit”, (21/06, 28/06/19). “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 84, 27/06/19). “Treasure Quest”, (BBC3CR, 22/06/19). “Morrissey”, “P.J Harvey”, “Manic Street Preachers”, “The Vaccines”, “Nirvana”, “Foo Fighters”, “Kate Nash”, “Kate Bush”, “Yeah Yeah Yeahs”, “The Cure”.