Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East and West London & Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).
Week 266 Saturday 20th until Friday 26thJuly 2019.
The friend I live with has a little car. Because the local council won’t cut the tree next to her house that lots of birds love to sit on, the car is covered over when not in use because of all there poop.
“I should have dusted for finger prints, ive seen enough C.S.I”.
Last weekend was the first time in a couple of weeks that the car had been used. As soon as the cover was removed I noticed something wrong. The driver side passenger wheel was black instead of sliver. Looking closely, I discovered that the hubcap was missing! Walking round I noticed the front passenger hubcap showed signs of being tampered with. Here is my “Crimewatch” reconstruction of what I think took place. The culprit creeped up to the car and tried to steal the passenger front hubcap but realised that they were exposed. So hid at the back between a bush and the car.
“The scumbag hid here”.
The following are photofits that my Niece and Nephew have drawn of the scumbag concerned. If you see this person, then please let me know behind the normal wheelie bin outside the chip shop.
“Anoodles on the left says “I stole De De (what she calls me) hubcap”. JBombs on the right says “I am a naughty man”.
Stealing is sadly part of the human condition. Let’s be honest “we” all want what another has, and if it’s free that’s even better. I suspect that even in prehistoric times, one caveman would jealousy eye up a neighbour’s larger pile of rocks. My life of crime came to an end when I was 4, after mum marched me back to the local newsagents to return a packet of Wrigleys gum that mysteriously found its way into my pocket.
“Someone celebrating finishing infants school”.
I hope that the person who stole the hubcap has put it to good use. After the initial shock all kinds’ preventive measures were running around my mind. Such as fitting barbwire or adding a Boudica spike to each of the remaining ones. Could the hubcaps be rigged up to the battery or coated with anti-theft paint or glue! However, the best preventive measure is just keep an eye on the car and hoping for the best.
“How long will this one live”.
And Now For Something Completely Different……
At school I didn’t do an Individual science, due to being considered thick. As a result I did “general” science which mainly consisted of sitting at the back of the class fiddling with the gas taps and dreaming. If only I had been cleverer or given more help then maybe I could have been a scientist who specialised in space.
“How cute is this little lady”.
I love space, fact and fiction. I am definitely an armchair astronomer and scientist. Unless you have lived down the bottom of a well recently you will know that last Saturday (21st July) was the 50th anniversary of Neil and Buzz strolling on the moon. Let’s not forget my personal fave astronaut Michael Collins, who orbited the moon’s surface as he piloted the command module Columbia.
“Not a design i liked“.
I was 9 months old and am told that I saw the moon landing with my parents. Maybe this influenced my lifelong love of the stars. It’s such a pity the soggy mass inside my skull wasn’t very good, or more importantly why didn’t I listen to my parents and the teachers (I tell my niece and nephews, study now it’s not for long compared to the amount of time that they will have to mess around and enjoy after. I wouldn’t want them ending up like me in a call centre!).
“This was not going to be a comfortable day”.
As a child I wrote to NASA, I can’t remember if I got a reply! And visit their website most days. Whenever they or ESA (European Space Agency) ask for new astronaut applications I always have a look even though of course I couldn’t apply (due to being stupid). If I had enough money I would definitely pay for an orbital trip with one of the commercial companies hoping to start flights soon. Or if I was a lotto jackpot winner I would become a space tourist and spend 10 days on board the ISS. Unfortunately i don’t do the lotto, and working in a call centre is never going to pay enough to reach orbit.
“Its rare i smile at work”.
Recently I have enjoyed a large number of programmes and podcast about Apollo 11. Personally I think it’s a pity humans didn’t continue to visit our nearest Celestial neighbour. However NASA plans on returning in 2024 with “The Artemis Program”, when the first women will step foot on the regolith. This is intended as the start of a sustainable human presence. Which will lead to humanity walking on Mars by the mid-2030s. Hopefully by then I’ll have stopped working in a call centre, so I can enjoy all the exciting coverage from an armchair. The place I do all my best science!
“The hottest day of the year”.
Happy anniversary NASA. Thank you to the 400.000 people that made Apollo 11 possible allowing Neil, Buzz and Michael to make history and influence millions.
“I liked mine while along the high street”.
While fondling a sharp pronged forked implement in a garden centre. An old man walked past just as i said loudly “just think of the damage I could do with this”! He gave me a wide berth.
“Writing this shiz, while Katie speaks dirty!”.
My Mid Life Crisis Conts……
This week I have mainly been watching:
“600 Bottles Of Wine”, (S1, ep 2 to ep 4). “Another Life”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 3). “Click”, (ep 1002, TX: 20/07/19). “Comedy Shorts: Sorry”, “Lazy Susan” & “Mandy”, (TX: 25/07/19). “DC: Swamp Thing”, (S1, ep 8). “Dexter”, (S1, ep 1). “Fear The Walking Dead”, (S5, ep 8). “Final Space”, (S2, ep 5). “Game Face”, (S2, ep 2). “James May’s Toy Stories: Flight Club”, (TX: 23/12/12). “Horizon: Britain’s Next Air Disaster? : Drones”, (S2019, ep 3, TX: 01/07/19). “Horizon: Inside The Social Network Facebook’s Difficult Year”, (S2019, ep 2, TX: 16/07/19). “Horizon: The 250 Million Pound Cancer Cure”, (S2019, ep 5, TX: 22/07/17). “Horizon: The Honest Supermarket: What’s Really In Our Food?”, (S2019, ep 4, TX: 08/07/19). “Los Espooky”, (S1, ep 6). “MISFITS”, (S5, ep 5 to ep 8). “NOS4A2”, (S1, ep 7 & ep 8). “Planespotting Live”, (S1, ep 1, TX: 23/07/19)(ep 2, TX: 24/07/19)(ep 3, TX: 25/07/19). “Revolutions: Ideas That Changed The World”, (S1, ep 1, TX: 23/07/19). “Summer Of Rockets”, (S1, ep 5). “Terry Nation Army”, (S1, ep 4, TX: 22/07/19). “The Clangers: Season 3 Preview”, (TX: 13/07/19). “The Crystal Maze: Celebrity Crystal Maze”, (S6, ep 5, TX: 19/07/19). “Typewriter”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 4).
I also watched the following Apollo 50th Anniversary or Space related shows.
“Blue Peter: Apollo 11 Special”, (TX: 18/07/19). “For All Mankind”, (TX: 20/07/19). “James May At The Edge Of Space”, (TX: 21/06/09). “Moon Landing Live”, (TX: 20/07/19). “Moon Landing Live: Update”, (ep 6, TX: 20/07/19). “Neil Armstrong: The First Man On The Moon”, (TX: 30/12/12). “The Clangers”, (S3, ep 1, TX: 17/07/19).
This week I have mainly been listening to:
“30 Animals That Made Us Smarter (BBC World Service)”, (S1, ep 18, 22/07/19). “Anti Social Show”, (ep 75, 16/07/19). “Brian Gittens And Friends”, (ep 61, 22/07/19). “Buffy Speak”, (ep 10, 22/05/16)(ep 11, 29/05/16). “Daddy Look At Me”, (ep 8, 25/07/19). “Griefcast”, (ep 90, 24/07/19). “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (25/07/19). “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (17/07, 19/07, 21/07, 23/07, 24/07, 25/07/19). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (20/07, 21/07, 26/07/19). “Rule Of Three”, (25/07/19). “Strange Times”, (ep 310, 18/07/19). “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 101, 21/07/19). “The Comedy Club Interviews: Tosspots With Jake Yapp! (BBC Radio 4 Extra)”. “The Nick Abbot Habit”, (22/07/19). “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 87, 25/07/19). “Morrissey”, “Soft Cell”, “Blondie”, “Shed Seven”, “Tame Impala”, “Culture Club”, “Feeder”, “Aerosmith”, “The Cure”.
I also listened to the following Apollo 50th Anniversary or Space related shows.
“13 Minutes To The Moon, (BBC World Service)”, (ep 12, 20/07/19). “Jo Durrant Beautiful Universe (BBC Radio Gloucestershire)”, (20/07/19). “NASA Edge: Apollo XI, 40th Anniversary”, (ep 40, 16/07/2009). “NASA Explores Apollo”, (Trailer 11/06/19)(ep 1 to ep 4, 19/06/19)(Bonus ep 19/07/19). “NASA: Gravity Assist”, (18/07/19). “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 102, 26/07/19). “So Where Are All The Aliens, (BBC World Service)”, (12/02/19). “Space Boffins Podcast: The Naked Scientist”, (10/06/12)(10/07/12)(10/08/12)(11/03/19)(10/04/19)(16/05/19)(Apollo 11, pt 1, 10/06/19 & pt 2, 10/07/19). “Witness History: Valentina Tereshkova, Cosmonaut, (BBC World Service)”, (16/07/19).