Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in Surrey. East, North East & South West London (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 281 Saturday 2^nd until Friday 8^th November 2019.

Last week’s Southwold trip seems like a distant dream now.  The family are planning on returning at the same time next year, I will be there if I am in the country.  Even if I’m not I’ll do my best to return to that lovely sleepy location on the Suffolk coast, it really is the best week of my year.

 “It’s harmless call centre fun, honest!”.

If you have read this ramble for any length of time you will know that travel is important, it’s like a drug.  In fact, that’s why this blog was originally started, so that family and friends could keep up to date on my adventures in Mozambique.  Next March I have been back in the UK for 4 years, that’s far too long!  I am currently suffering from a terrible case of ants in my travel elasticless pants.

 “Could this have been a vintage Batmobile under the tarp?”

Every time I save up a decent amount of cash, it gets spent on just surviving in the capital. But there is another reason that cash is rarer than a snow leopard, that is because I have had more holidays this year than a member of the royal family.  Currently I am not booked on any of the family trips planned for 2020.  I need to be sensible save money, make plans and then disappear.  Where to go is still to be decided.  I am not necessarily talking about travelling or being away for life (that would be nice. But I can’t imagine that ever happening). In reality a few months maybe a year would be lovely.  I have been lucky enough to taste a morsel of freedom during past travels that makes me want more.  It really is like a drug!  I won’t lie I am jealous of people who can just go away and stay for as long as they want.  But my life is totally different, I need to work hard in the office I hate and save.  Those travel ants are biting harder and harder, does anyone want to rub some soothing cream on to my lardy arse.

 “First foggy morning this winter”.

And Now For Something Completley Different……

Early November, there are many signs that the madness of Crimbum is approaching faster than Usain Bolt on a good day.  Shelves are heaving under the weight of tat that people won’t want to unwrap on Dec 25th.

 “Whats, Banksey trying to say!”.

For me a reminder that the so-called “season to be jolly” is nearly here, are the appearance of multi coloured graffiti on the pavements all over the capital (I can only speak for London). The markings haven’t been sprayed by a drunken Banksy, but are to identify cables and shiz below the surface.  For me I actually think they look pretty.  If the mysterious street artist was to spraying lines on a street, that patch of pavement would be worth squillions!

 “Loving BT new invisible tent technology.  I still hope a Hoverboard is next”. 

Highstreets all over the city are being prepared to be dug up.  Forget fat men in red suits and bushy white beards, the streets will soon be filled with fat (and thin ones) men in Hi-Vis clothing and hard hats.  In March there is often a flurry of activity because councils need to spend all their money before the new financial year commences in April (that’s what I and many others have heard over the years).  Londoners, be prepared for the seasonal dodging of diggers, jack hammers and squeezing past temporary barriers making small pavements even.  Let’s all celebrate the inconvenience, with that usual London smile!

 “This was at 2am.  They could have invited me, i was awake!”.

And Finally……

 “R.I.P Sidney the Munchkin Pumpkin”.

MOZ said “a carrot was poking through the crack”.  This of course made me laugh.  Just to explain, she had microwaved a couple of **munchkin pumpkins.  One of them committed suicide by exploding.  MOZ held the skin together while attempting to stuff the pumpkin, pieces of carrot were trying to escape.  The vegetable were fighting back that evening.

 “Get stuff!”.

This really hasn’t been very interesting!  I’ll try again next week!  Please come back for Week 282 when I *** promise better content.

 “Last week’s Southwold pumpkin.  I’m not a virgin carver anymore”.

** When i see these tiny pumpkins, I can’t help imaging them being taken away from their parents screaming in the middle of the night (I really have watch to many films).  Especially at this time of year when so many large (adult) pumpkins were culled for Halloween.  This year for the first time I was one of those who took a knife and carved up a large orange vegetable for the enjoyment of small children.  How nasty am I?

*** I can’t really of course promise anything, but I’ll try my best. If you are upset or annoyed at the lack of content this week, please do not come round and do a dirty protest like the above-mentioned small vegetable.  And remember folks, playing with Microwaves or any electrical device can be extremely dangerous if misused.  Of course if you do decide to mess around with any device then do the responsible thing, film it.  That clip could go viral and make you a lot of money.

 “Laughing a lot about the madness of the weeks politics”.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“Better Than Us”, (S1, ep 9).  “Blakes 7”, (SB, ep 6 to ep 9).  “Click”, (TX: 02/11/19).  “Daybreak”, (S1 ep 7 to ep 8).  “Dexter”, (S8, ep 4 to ep 12).  “Dive, Dive, Dive!”, (TX: 03/05/10).  “Have I Got News For You”, (S58, ep 5, TX: 08/11/19).  “His Dark Materials”, (S1, ep 1).  “Junior Bake Off”, (S1 (S5), ep 1, TX: 04/11/19)(ep 2, 05/11)(ep 3, 06/11)(ep 4, 07/11)(ep 5, 08/11).  “Living With Yourself”, (S1, ep 3 to ep 5).  “Lucy And D.i.C: Anatomy Of D.i.C:  D.i.C Deconstructed (YouTube)”, (07/11/19).  “Man Like Mobeen”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 4)(S2, ep 1 to ep 4).  “Megamind”, (2010).  “Not Going Out”, (TX: 30/10/19).  “Portrait Of Lottie From 0 to 20, by Frans Hofmeester (YouTube)”, (28/10/19).  “Spiral”, (S7, ep 7 & ep 8).  “Sugar Rush (US TV)”, (S2, ep 1 & ep 2).  “Terry Nation Army Extra: The Abyss Of The Black Jellyfish (YouTube)”, (TX: 30/10/19).  “The Apprentice”, (S15, ep 6, TX: 06/11/19).  “The Apprentice: Honest Subtitles”, (S5, ep 6, TX: 06/11/19).  “The Apprentice: You’re Fired”, (S14, ep 6, TX: 06/11/19).  “The End Of The Fxxking World”, (S2, ep 1 to ep 8).  “The House With A Clock In Its Walls”, (2018).  “The Meg”, (2018).  “The Name Of The Rose”, (S1, 3 & ep 4).  “Travelman 48hrs In….. Krakow”, (S9, ep 3, TX: 04/11/19).                 

This week I have mainly been listening to:  

“Buffy Speak”, (S2, ep 7, 14/08/16).  “Daddy Look At Me”, (S2, ep 3, 31/10/19)(ep 4, 07/11/19).  “Gossipmongers”, (S2, ep 6, 02/11/19).  “Griefcast”, (ep 103, 06/11/19).  “Iain Lee (Highlight)”, (01/11, 04/11, 05/11, 06/11/19).  “In Poor Taste”, (ep 108, 31/10/19).  “John Dredge Nothing To Do With Anything Show”, (S1, ep 1, 20/12/12)(ep 2, 30/06/13)(ep 3, 07/07/13)(ep 4, 14/07/13)(ep 5, 21/07/13)(ep 6, 28/07/13).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (31/10/19)(07/11/19).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (02/11, 08/11/19).  “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 116, 01/11/19)(ep 117, 08/11/19).  “Spacefall: A Blakes 7 Podcast”, (SB, ep 5, 14/05/19)(ep 6, 01/07/19)(ep 7, 28/08/19)(ep 8, 13/10/19).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 166, 02/11/19).  “Space Rocket History Archive”, (ep 35, 14/12/17).  “Strange Times”, (ep 322, 27/10/19).  “Sue Perkins: An Hour Or So With….”, (ep 5, 31/10/19)(ep 6, 07/11/19).  “Talking Bottom”, (ep 1, 28/06/18)(ep 2, 13/07/18).  “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 107, 01/11/19)(ep 108, 08/11/19).  “The All New Angelos And Barry Podcast”, (06/11/19).  “The Nick Abbot Habit”, (29/10/19).  “The Old Doctor Who Show”, (ep 6, 22/04/15)(ep 7, 13/05/15).  “Walking The Dog With Emily Dean”, (ep 30, 02/02/19)(ep 42, 01/07/19).  “Morrissey”,  “Groove Armada”, “London Grammar”,  “Catfish And The Bottlemen”, “Alt-J”, “PIM (Micky)”, “Toni Basil”,  “Divinyls”, “The Lumineers”,  “The Waterboys”, “Oasis”, “The Communards”, “Bronski Beat”, Paul McCartney And The Frog Chorus”, “The Cribs”.