Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East and South West London, Essex (inc Colchester) and Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 274 Saturday 14^th  until Friday 20^thSeptember 2019.

There are many things I don’t understand.  Such as how a computer really works (in my mind there must have been a Hamster running in a wheel inside the old style box screens?  Of course fish turning a water wheel or ants on a treadmill power modern flat screen technology).  Why didn’t the Mona Lisa demand that Leo paint eyebrows and lashes on her portrait?  Why didn’t Chewie get a medal in Star Wars a New Hope?  And how in the 21st century are TV soaps and (so-called) talent shows still popular, in this multi-channel environment when every classic is available in one format or another.

 “Loving the car wash”.

However something a little more important I have trouble with is if someone likes me.  For the last year every two weeks I have attended a meeting where people can talk in a non-judgmental environment about what makes them feel “frazzled”.  Over these 12 months i have become a regular only missing two meetings.  Among the other regulars is a woman, who until a month ago i had never spoken to on a one to one basis.  Four weeks ago at the end of the meeting she approached me and started to talk.  Once the usual pleasantries were out of the way, we were just left with silence.  Panicking I quickly filled the void with my usual brand of verbal diarrhoea.

 “The lake is not part of the garden.  But its still pretty”.

It happened again this week, I don’t know if she’s just being nice, wants to be friends.  My imagination run wild most of the time I know, but is there a possibility (even the smallest) that she might “like” me.  If this happens again should I drop hints that I am single and looking for the love of a good women.  But what if I am completely wrong (which I probably am).  I need to think about this carefully, I enjoy the meetings and don’t want to jeopardise either mine or her feelings about attending.

 “How many bottle of white could i make out of these”.

The next meeting is in a couple of weeks’ time, I need to have a good think and see what does or doesn’t happen.

And Now For Something Completely Different……

 “Standing to attention”.

Any opportunity to be away from the city and in the countryside is welcome.  Twice this week I have heard about shrinrin-yoku or “Forest bathing”.  An activity that in Japan is prescribed by their national health service as a therapy to try to relieve stress.  Here in the UK it’s very new, though there are groups/organisations already taking people into the countryside for sessions.  Within the next couple of years, the term “forest bathing” will be heard all over the place.  And it will become a fashionable activity, helping to make a small number of people very rich. Bookshelves (physical and online) will heave under the strain because of all the self-help and guidebook that will be published.

 “These two seen on the same bush”.

Personally I don’t think that anyone needs to consult an “expert” or a book.  My advice (which I need to take) is everyone should try to spend quality time in the countryside, if possible with animals near by.  This is one of the reasons why I love to spend time beside the canal when I visit mum.

 “These two Spiders found in the house are now happy in the garden”.

Something else I that I find relaxing is being with animals.  Big ones are of course amazing and majestic.  But I get as much pleasure from an close encounter with a mini beasts.  This might be helping to rehome into the garden a spider found wondering across the living room. Or picking up a snail spotted stupidly strolling across a busy pavement.  Before cutting the grass this week I did actually check for slugs and snails, all that were found were gently moved to a different part of the garden.

 “You never know what delight you will find in the countryside”.

This has given me an idea; maybe I’ll take slugs and snails with me to a local wood or forest for a bathing session and watch them fight very slowly and quietly.  I could become an expert, publish a book, make a TV series and charge people an outrageous sum for the privilege of visiting a place they could go to for free.  That’s how I will make millions!  If you want you can purchase an early bird tickets, send me your bank details to the usual address.

 “Whats not to like”.

And Finally……

Misheard a DJ while driving on the M25, because the window was wide open.  I through they said “text in and well stretch your genitals”!  It was commercial radio so anything is possible.

 “Chocolate Spread!  What Chocolate spread!”.

While hoovering the stairs, I shouted down to MOZ “you only have to work from the bottom up”.  Her face was a picture as she mouthed “bottom up” looking very confused!

 “Emmmmm, cake”.

In a garden centre tearoom I overheard a women say to another “I couldn’t screw it in (pause) the pole up the middle”.  This made her friend laugh loudly.

 “Writing this shiz, but distracted by my hero Hup the brave Podling brandishing a spoon”.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“Ad Astra”, (2019).  “BBC Stories: HIV Positive But Proud”, (TX: 19/07/19).  “Better Than Us”, (S1, ep 6).  “Big School”, (S1, ep 3 & ep 4)(S2, ep 4 to ep 6).  “Carnival Row”, (S1, ep 4).  “Click”, (14/09/19).  “Climbing: Climbing World Championships 2019 Lead Finals”, (TX: 15/08/19).  “Comedy Threesomes (BBC Three) Fully Blown”, (ep 1 to ep 3).  “Comedy Threesomes (BBC Three) Hunter”, (ep 1 to ep 3).  “Comedy Threesomes (BBC Three) Oi, Pussy!”, (ep 1 to ep 3).  “Dexter”, (S3, ep 8 & ep 12)(S4, ep 1 to ep 6).  “Doctor Who: Revenge Of The Cybermen”, (S12, Story 5, ep 4, TX: 10/05/75).  “Fear The Walking Dead”, (S5, ep 14).  “Final Space”, (S2, ep 12).  “Happy Death Day”, (2017).  “Japan With Sue Perkins”, (S1, ep 1, TX: 18/09/19).  “Lucy And D.i.C”, (S1, ep 7).  “Marianne”, (S1, ep 1).  “Nationwide: Doctor Who”, (TX: 17/03/83).  “On Becoming A God In Central Florida”, (S1, ep 1).  “Pandora”, (S1, ep 10).  “Panorama: Apollo 11 The impact On Earth”, (TX: 21/07/69).  “Return To Scatterbrook – Memories Of Worzel (Trailer)”, (2019).  “Scatterbrook Days: A Worzel Gummidge 40^th Anniversary Celebration”, (2019).  “State Of The Union”, (S1, ep 3 & ep 4).  “Stath Lets Flats”, (S2, ep 5).  “The Crystal Calls The Making Of The Dark Crystal: Age Of Resistance”, (2019).  “The Dark Crystal: Age Of Resistance”, (S1, ep 7 to ep 9).  “The Extra-Terrestrial Funeral Service”, (TX: 10/09/19).  “The Great British Bake Off”, (S3 (S10), ep 4, TX: 17/09/19).  “The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice”, (S3 (S6), ep 4, TX: 20/09/19).  “The Mash Report”, (S3, ep3, TX: 19/09/19).  “Toast Of London”, (S1, ep 1 & ep 2).  “Who Are The Flat Earthers?”, (TX: 10/09/19).           

This week I have mainly been listening to:  

“30 Animals That Made Us Smarter (BBC World Service)”, (S1, ep 26, 16/09/19).    “Apollo 11 Legacies (WHNT19 News Podcast)”, (ep 4, 19/06/19) (ep 5, 19/06/19) (ep 6, 03/07/19).  “Brian And Roger”, (S3, ep 2, 18/09)(ep 3, 20/09/19).  “Griefcast”, (ep 96, 18/09/19).  “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (12/09, 16/09, 17/09/19).  “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (13/09, 16/09, 17/09, 18/09, 19/09/19).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (11/09, 19/09/19).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (14/09, 20/09/19).  “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 110, 20/09/19).  “Rule Of Three”, (12/09/19) (LIVE ep, 19/09/19).  “Space Boffins Podcast: The Naked Scientist”, (14/11/14) (10/12/14) (10/12/15) (10/01/16) (10/02/16) (10/03/16) (10/04/16) (10/05/16) (10/06/16).  “Space Rocket History Archive”, (ep 5 to ep 7, 10/08/17) (ep 8, 01/09/17) (ep 13, 26/09/17) (ep 14, 01/10/17) ( ep 15 to ep 17, 15/10/17).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 159, 13/09/19).  “The All New Angelos And Barry Podcast”, (16/09/19).  “The Nick Abbot Habit”, (16/09/19).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 89, 19/09/19).  “Morrissey”,  “Smiths”, “Manic Street Preachers”,  “Ocean Colour Scene”,  “Blondie”, “Supergrass”,  “Delirium”,  “New Order”,  “Electronic”, “Kula Shaker”,  “Talking Heads”, “Stereophonics”, St Etienne”, “The Stranglers”, Kirsty McCall”, “Depeche Mode”, “Gary Newman”.