Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East and West London & Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 253 Saturday 20^th until Friday 26^thApril 2019.

I had not planned on starting this week’s blog like this, but I needed to address what happened last Sunday.  Easter day was tinged with sadness when I heard the news of multiple explosions in Sri Lanka.  You might ask how this affected me, living in London!  My father came from Ceylon now Sri Lanka and I still have relatives there.  Family are safe and well, but they know people who have been affected.  Of course, my heart goes out to all those affected.

 “Someones waiting for the tooth fairy to arrive”.

I have said this before, sorry for repeating myself.  We live on a ball of rock travelling around the sun.  Humans pride themselves on being the most intelligent inhabitants on the planet. We have created amazing technology and produced beautiful art, but in my uneducated opinion we are still just animals!  Sorry, but from this lardy meat sacks point of view we are just clever animal that cover themselves with cloth.  This is a view I have had for a long time; it’s not just because of what happened last weekend.  I don’t like the fact I am 50, but I wouldn’t want to be young these days with all the political instability and changing global climate.  Personally, I fear for humanity’s future!

 “Not my fave number”.

And Now For Something Completely Different……

 “Arriving at the scene of the crime”.

The Bank Holiday weekend was a scorcher.  In weather like this my natural state is to find shade and stay in it, spending hours in a garden is not something you would normally see me do.  Gardens are not my natural habitat.  I like visiting and looking around them!  And I fully appreciate all the hard work that goes in to making a garden beautiful.  Many members of my family are green fingered; I just don’t have the patients.  Over the long weekend my friend needed a little help with hers, so the shorts came out (not a pleasant site for anyone) and I started to cut the grass. The constant motion of going back and forth is slightly hypnotic especially while listening to a funny podcast (let me recommend Strange Times ep 299) or the radio.

 “I was pleased with what i had done”.

Due to my friend’s garden being long, every now and then I would stop for a well-earned break standing in the shade looking back feeling proud of a job well done! (a very alien feeling for me).  My grass cutting skills are adequate, I wouldn’t win any award.  Even though I hate working in a call centre, there’s no point saying to my manager that I’m quitting to become a gardener and cut peoples grass because I would never earn anything.  In fact I would have to pay them!

 “Phew, what a scorcher”.

My friend appeared with a drink which had a slice of lemon and a cherry floating in the glass. Remember I mentioned above, that I had a feeling of pride!  That disappeared quickly when I was told that not only had I cut the grass but butchered and destroyed plants hidden by winter grass growth which had not shown their heads this year.  Yes, I had messed up yet again!  Sadly, my friend is used to my normal standard of incompetence, so she wasn’t really surprised.  This led to her to take me round the garden, so I knew what I should not cut!  By the way I did get the drink even though I didn’t deserve it.

 “The tiny snail, refused to be photographed”.

After destroying the grass, I attempted to help doing various other jobs all the time hoping that I didn’t making things worse.  The day was not a total failure, I re-homed a tiny snail and caterpillar (they wanted it made very clear that they are not a couple).  Would this make me a contender for the “2019 David Attenborough/Chris Packham/David Bellamy conservation award for idiots who destroy flowers and plants (by accident) and still can’t identify common birds even though they spend hours watching TV shows about them”.  It was a hot sweaty, slightly uncomfortable day (factor 50 kept running onto my eyes) but I actually enjoyed it.  Not sure that my friend would agree!  I’ll surprise her by taking her to a garden centre to replace the plants I cruelly dispatched.

 “Friends and food, whats not to like”.

And Finally……

Overheard the little girl next door say, “I wonder if the neighbor’s (my friend and I) are in the garden, I liked them!”  Sitting with my friend having breakfast using her new garden furniture, I whispered, “That’s very sweet”.  My friend reminded me that an hour earlier I had taken round Easter eggs for her and her brother.

 “I alway get a thrill crossing the level crossing”.

“While In Hasting on Good Friday”,

Bought a bag of four doughnuts, when I looked inside there were only three.  Don’t panic!  I went straight back to rescue the missing sugary ring of pleasure. “No Doughnut is left behind, on my watch”!

 “Keeping a look out for a stray chip or doughnut, in Hastings”.

Sitting on a bench overlooking Hastings!  I became a little dizzy from the sweet smell of jazz fags drifting up from the town below.

 “Trying to write this shiz, but distracted by a talking blue Unicorn”. 

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“Being Human”, (S4, ep 1 to ep 8)(S5, ep 1 to ep 6).  “Black Summer”, (S1, ep 1).   “Click”, (TX: 20/04/19).  “Doom Patrol”, (S1, ep 4 to ep 5).  “Earth From Space”, (S1, ep 2, TX: 24/04/19).  “Game Of Thrones”, (S8, ep 2).  “Gay Of Thrones”, (S6, ep 1).  “Ghosts”, (S1, ep 2).  “IZombie”, (S4, ep 4 to ep 13).  “Happy!”, (S2, ep 5).  “In The Dark”, (S1, ep 3).  “Killing Eve”, (S2, ep 3).  “Luxo Jr”, (1986).  “Miriams Dead Good Adventures”, (S1, ep 1, TX: 21/04/19).  “Not Going Out”, (S10, ep 2).  “The Graham Norton Show”, (S25, ep 3 , TX: 19/04/19).  “The League Of Gentlemen Live Again!”, (TX: 21/04/19).  “Tin Toy”, (1988).  “Toy Story”, (1995).  “Toy Story 2”, (1999).  “Travelman 48hrs in… Porto”, (S9, ep 2, TX: 22/04/19).  “Trust Me”, (S2, ep 2).  “Z Nation”, (S1, ep 1 & ep 2).         

This week I have mainly been listening to:  

“30 Animals That Made Us Smarter”, (Preview, 09/03/19).  “Clinton Baptiste Paranormal Podcast”, (S2, ep 4, 22/04/19).  “David Tennant Does A Podcast”, (S1, ep 13, 22/04/19).  “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (19/04, 22/04,23/04,24/04/19).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (25/04/19).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (21/04, 22/04, 26/04/19).  “NASA: Gravity Assist”, (24/04/19).  “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 88, 19/04/19).  “Rule Of Three”, (25/04/19).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 138, 19/04/19).  “Strange Times”, (ep 299, 19/04/19)(ep 300, 24/04/19).  “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 90, 26/04/19).  “The All New Angelos And Barry Podcast”, (25/04/19).  “The Nick Abott Habit”, (23/04/19).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 78, 25/04/19).  “Morrissey”,  “The Cure”,  “Texas”,  “Athlete”,  “The Cocteau Twins”,  “Soft Cell”,  “Baccara”,  “The Blue Nile”,  “Paul McCartney”,  “Pulp”,  “The Stone Roses”,  “The Strokes”