Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East, North East and West London.  Surrey & East Sussex (Hastings) (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 252 Saturday 13^th until Friday 19^thApril 2019.

Last Sunday towards the end of Ariel Yoga I didn’t feel very well.  I must quickly stress that this had nothing to do with the session itself.  After 70 mins this aged saggy excuse for a body, was still aged and saggy but more flexible than before the class.  Bending and stretching while being supported by the Ariel yoga sling really is a lovely feeling.  No, the reason I felt a little unwell was because of being strangled.

 “Are the shirts more scary than the hands”.

Were all friends here aren’t we (ok, except you at the back giggling) and this is a safe place where I can be open and honest.  The culprit was my sports bra!  By the end of the session, the supportive piece of clothing was not actually supporting anything but compressing the top of my chest so much that it hurt.  It’s time to admit that it’s a little small and been like that for a while.  Because it’s uncomfortable i leaving it undone, which is why it rides up and I feel like I am being strangled.

 “Roe Deer and Ducks in different parts of London”.

I used to go to a local leisure centre regularly (don’t laugh! I really did) to run and swim. These days all I do is sit on the tube (ALERT, ALERT! Damn, I mentioned the “T” word) moaning while watching episode after episode of TV shows or films.  A couple of years ago I tried to join a running club but that didn’t work out.  Even though I enjoy Ariel Yoga hugely, once every couple of weeks or a month is not enough to make a difference.

 “Making and drinking with friends”.

If I went swimming after work I wouldn’t get home until late, which would make those days long because I get up early.  The phrase “No pain without gain” comes to mind when thinking about this.  The “pain” of swimming in the evening is I would feel better mentally and physically.  The “gain” is I wouldn’t have the time to stuff so much food into my cavernous gob as I do at present.  As well as there wouldn’t be as many hours in the day to veg out to episode after episode of (in other people’s opinions) crap.  Of course, I would always make time to playing with the Hamster for a short period before bed, there’s always enough time for her!  Hopefully the exercise would help me sleep better ready for another “wonderful day” in the call centre (I hope you read that in the sarcastic tone I meant).

 “Ready to hang upside down in a sling”.

It’s time to admit that I need a bigger and better fitting sports bra.  Though because I’m not running anymore, and the yoga sessions are every few weeks maybe I could get away with using masking or gaffer tape instead (there’s not a lot to support after all).  Just think if I became ill while hanging upside in the yoga sling because I couldn’t breath and fell ending up with serious concussion resulting in a trip to A&E.  It would make a funny story, but I don’t think the already over worked staff of the NHS would be impressed.  I better buy a new sports bra, just in case.

 “Beautiful Sun and Moon.  Seen this week”.

And Now For Something Completely Different……

One story which is in the news sadly a lot in London and other parts of the UK these days is knife crime.  A couple of days ago I passed a child walking with two adults, noting unusual about that!  But the child who was possibly 10 years old had a knife.  Not the sharpest bread knife, but still a long metal pointy thing that could have hurt them or someone else.  Thinking back, I wonder if I should have said something or was it wiser to just keep quiet.

 “On the hottest day of the year so far.  I saw lots of Ladybirds”.

It turned out that the child and adults were going to the same building as me which was a little worrying.  Let’s just say as soon as I was buzzed inside, I pulled the door closed behind me as quickly as possible.  Whatever the reason for the child and the knife, it was not something I expected to see.  Reports of knife crime do appear to be increasing more and more.  In fact, I personally worry more about this than terrorism when travelling around the capital.

 “Even small steam trains are fun”.

This will be filed with another memorable memory from 1993 in South London.  A man was about to pass me on the pavement when he lifted up his top just enough to show that he had a gun stuffed down the front of his jeans.  On that occasion I picked up the pace, didn’t look back and arrived at the boring training session earlier than planned.

 “Ouch!”.

And Finally……

 “Excellent chips in Hastings”.

Overheard a woman talking to her colleague, they were working on the perfume counter in a large dept store.  The following was said in a very strong Essex accent, “Babe, you’re gorgeous.  Just Beautiful”.  It’s not funny, but it did make me think of “Miss Brahms” and “Mrs Slocombe” from “Are you being served”.  

 “Top of a hill, East Sussex”.

I’ll go away and find proper content next week!  I promise.

 “Trying to write this shiz, while being very detracted by the final season”.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“40 Minutes: The Heart Of The Angel”, (TX: 23/11/89).  “Back To Life”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 6).  “Being Human”, (S3, ep 6 to ep 8)(S4, ep 1 to ep 5).  “Click”, (TX: 13/04/19).  “Doom Patrol”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 3).  “Earth From Space”, (S1, ep 1, TX: 17/04/19).  “Game Of Thrones”, (S8, ep 1).  “Ghosts”, (S1, ep 1).  “IZombie”, (S3, ep 2 to ep 13)(s4, ep 1 to ep 3).  “Happy!”, (S2, ep 4).  “Have I Got News For You”, (S57, ep 3, 19/04/19).  “Horrible Histories”, (S7, ep 10).  “How To See A Black Hole: The Universe’s Greatest Mystery”, (TX: 10/04/19).  “In The Dark”, (S1, ep 2).  “Inside Story: Mini”, (TX: 11/06/1975).  “Into The Factory”, (S3, ep 2, TX: 25/07/17).  “Katy”, (S1, ep 3).  “Killing Eve”, (S2, ep 2).  “Not Going Out”, (S10, ep 1).  “Seven Ages Of Starlight”, (TX: 25/10/12).  “Star Trek: Discovery”, (S2, ep 14).  “The Graham Norton Show”, (S25, ep 2, TX: 12/04/19).  “The Orville”, (S2, ep 13).  “The Sky At Night”, (ep 789, TX: 14/04/19).  “The Twlight Zone (2019)”, (S1, ep 1).  “Travelman 48hrs in… Athens”, (S9, ep 1, TX: 15/04/19).  “Trust Me”, (S2, ep 1).         

This week I have mainly been listening to:  

“Brian Gittens And Friends”, (ep 55, 16/04/19).  “Clinton Baptiste Paranormal Podcast”, (S2, ep 3, 15/04/19).  “David Tennant Does A Podcast”, (S1, ep 12, 16/04/19).  “Griefcast”, (ep 76, 17/04/19).  “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (16/04/19).  “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (15/04, 16/04,17/04,18/04/19).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (18/04/19).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (13/04, 19/04/19).  “Rule Of Three”, (11/04/19,18/04/19).  “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 89, 19/04/19).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 77, 18/04/19).  “Morrissey”,  “The Beatles”,  “McAlmont & Butler”,  “Suede”, “The La’s”,  “Supergrass”,  “Travis”,  “The Libertines”,  “P.J Harvey”,  “The XX”,  “Texas”,  “Madonna”,  “Blur”,  “Joni Mtichell”,  “BBC Radio 2 with Gary Davies and Tony Blackburn”, (Not Together, stupid.  On Separate Shows).