Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East and West London, & Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 186 Saturday 6^th until Friday 12^th January 2018.

 My dad would have been 89 this week, happy bday dad, miss you lots.

New Year resolutions are what everyone’s talking about.  However 99.9% of people will have by now forgotten those good intentions.  Resolutions might as well be locked in a dusty draw padlocked inside a cupboard and left under the stairs which has a broken light meaning no one will ever go investigating.

  “Dave ad’s keep me occupied on the tube”.

I just don’t see the point of make a list of “things” to do over the coming year.  That list might as well be labelled “Things I thought about when drunk on New Years Eve, because it seemed like a good idea at the time, but won’t actually bother with any of them”.  Number one on most people’s list is lose weight.  This is the time of year when gyms, companies peddling amazing weight loss lotions and potions have a field day with special bargains stating in very large letters friendly that “you to” can lose X amount of weight in X number of days.  These statements are usually illustrated by a picture of a beautiful human specimen who’s never had an issue with weight in their life, as they smile out of the poster or leaflet.

    “The previously loved are now living on the streets of London, its a sad sight”.

If I had a list (I definitely don’t) my expanding equatorial region would be problem number one.  Over the last couple of weeks there has definitely been some subsidence adding to the already upsetting gain in inches in that area over the last year.  I used to (sort of enjoyed) run and (always enjoyed) swim regularly.  However due to my knees organizing a protest stating how much they didn’t feel running was for them, I stopped.  Though if I found a running machine which was cushioned situated in front of a TV so I can watch classic “Top Gear” repeats then I might fight back and ignore their protest.  I haven’t swum for a couple of months because the various swimming pools near work were either small and busy or just grubby.  One set of muscle that are exercised regularly as you would expect is the jaw, with the amount of practice I put in maybe I could be an Olympian in an eating contest.

 “Rushing in the rain”. 

A diet is NOT a resolution; it’s more out of panic.  This is because a few days ago one of my sisters reminded me that in July we are going on holiday.  I will never be in great shape but I would like to look less like an overweight dead, rotting beached whale.  From now on more snacking at night, and definitely no accidentally buying on the way home large bags of Chill Doritos™.  Then wonder in the morning where that empty packet came from.  2018 a new year and a new me (I hope).

  “Rail replacement has never been so much fun”.

Thinking about this there something else on my imaginary list.  At the start of 2017 I had lovely nails but gradually over the course of last 12 months they have disintegrated into ugly stumps which make me look more like 6 years old.  All I need are scabs on my knees and dried snot on my top lip to complete the image.

  “Interesting book, nice dog”.

In reality there are a number of things I need to change and do during this year, some that I can do on my own and other as that will need help.  But losing weight is one that is top of the hypothetical resolution list.

  “Honest i found the letters like this, i really did”,

And Now For Something Completely Different…..

  “Travelling in the capital you see it all.”

There is nothing worse than waking up just before the alarm especially if during the night the amount of actual sleep appeared minimal.  This happens a lot, I sleep badly then the last hour and a half before getting up I tend to sleep a little deeper.  This is why waking up a quarter of an hour before is so frustrating.

  “The empires new Invasion machine”.

When it happened this week I took the risk of deactivating the alarm and just lying there.  But my mind was already thinking about getting up, leaving the house in the dark and hoping that I would get a seat on the tube.  The daily panic and worry had already set in, that’s not how I wanted my day to start.

  “With mates”.

With the help of the Manic Street Preachers I stayed conscious.  Because I didn’t want to risk waking up after lunch, I ended up surfacing a full 5 minutes before the alarm sounded.  At the moment I’m spending 2 hours travelling to and from work, meaning not long after I get home in the evening I’m already thinking about bed.  Plus these days I am in a constant foul mood which is not pleasant for me or anyone (apologies to Ian and Calamity about this).  Maybe I DO need to make a New Year Resolution after all and find a job nearer home.

  “No one was in when i called on Friday morning, hoping for a lift”.

There have been a number of days recently when I thought I might as well sleep on the train as I’ll be travelling back the other way across the capital a few hours later.  Maybe a job in medical trials where I get paid to stay in bed could be an idea, the prodding, probing, injections and infection wouldn’t bother me as long as I get paid.  Anything for an easy life would be nice.

 “Such a rare moment, i had to capture it”.

And Finally

 “If she couldnt eat it all, she could have dropped some in her bag for later”.

Most days I don’t tend to eat until lunch.  On the tube this week before 8.30am a woman sat eating a large “McD” brekkie with a knife and folk.  Even though I don’t eat meat it still smelt great and looked good.  Not fair.

 “Writing this Shiz”.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts…… 

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“A Life On Screen: Michael Palin”, (TX: 07/01/18).  “Absolutely Fabulous Cold Turkey”, (TX: 24/12/03).  “After Trek”, (S1, ep 9).  “Have I Got News For You”, (S53, ep 1).  “Inside No9”, (S4, ep 2).  “Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring”, (2001).  “Miniaturist”, (ep 1).  “Miriam’s Big American Adventure”, (S1, ep 1: TX 03/01/18)(ep 2: TX 10/01/18).  “Rabbit Hole TV (Iain Lee on GMB)”,(01/01 to 05/01/18).  “Robot Wars: World Series”, (S1, ep 1: TX 31/12/17)(ep 2: TX 07/01/18).  “Spiral”, (S6, ep 3 & ep 4).  “Star Trek: Discovery”, (S1, ep 10).  Star Trek (TNG)”, (S2, ep 2 to 22)(S3, ep 1 to ep 4).  “The Biggest Little Railway In The World”, (S1, ep 1: TX 07/01/18).  “The Graham Norton Show: Good Guest Guide”, (TX: 05/01/18).  “The Golden Girls”, (S6, ep 5 to ep 12).  “Tomorrow’s World People of Science With Brian Cox”, (S1, ep 1: TX 10/01/18).  “Will & Grace”, (S9, ep 1).  “Witless”, (S3, ep 1 & ep 2).                    

This week I have mainly been listening to:

“D&C Mini”, (ep 8, 09/09/14)(ep 9, 04/10/14)(ep 10, 21/10/14)(ep 11, 20/11/14).  “DHB Radio Show”, (ep 233, 20/05/17).  “Elis James And John Robins (With Josh Widdicombe)”, (ep 201, 06/01/18).  “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (05/01, 09/01, 10/01/18).  “In Poor Taste”, (Vote Poor taste: 27/04/17)(ep 71,16/05/17(ep 72, 02/06/17).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (11/01/18).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (12/01/18).  “NASA: Gravity Assist”, (ep 8, 10/01/18).  “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 27, 12/01/18).  “NASA: In Silicon Valley”, (11/01/18).  “Pints And Puzzles”, (S1, ep 9, 12/03/17)(ep 12, 07/05/17)(ep 13, 24/05/17)(Bonus 30/06/17)(S2, ep 2, 14/10/17)(Bonus File 21/10/17)(ep 3, 21/10/17)(S3, ep 1, 11/01/18).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 72, 12/01/18).  “The Aggy Fox Podcast (The Dana Lucas Podcast)”, (ep 25, 12/01/18).  “Young Free And Coupled”, (12/10/17).  “Morrissey”,  “ABBA”,  “Ian Brown”,  “The Manic Street Preachers”,  “David Bowie”,  ”The Libertines”,  “Star Sailor”, “Elastica”, “Echobelly”.