Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East & Central London, Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).
Week 159 Saturday 1st July until Friday 7th July 2017.
When I shuffle of this mortal coil I would like to come back as a pampered pussy. However, if I am lucky enough to become rich can I request that I am cryogenically frozen, the idea of being reanimated in the future appeals to me. Though a more practical and realistic way of disposing of my remains would be to place my ashes in a large firework or even better a rocket launched quickly into the air. By escaping the atmosphere, I would in a way achieve my ambition of becoming an astronaut. Of course, I hope that none of this will be necessary for a while, but I am told it’s better to be prepared.
Love swinging in a sling made of Parachute material. Calamity looking through the round window.
As I mentioned at the top of this ramble I would like to come back as a pampered pussy, one of those cats that’s loved, hugged and squeezed. A cat that wants for nothing and preferably lives in an area where there aren’t too many cars. The garden of where I currently live is visited regularly by a number of cats. A busy day usually consists of lounging in the sun before getting up and then walking a few feet to a shady patch. The rest of the day is spent going back and forth making everything look important, stopping now and then for a stretch and a tongue wash.
“Little Tarts” entertaining me after work.
There is one cat that I have seen regularly over the last few years, my best friend and I call her “Little Tarts”. This cat walks us home if were spotted, she rolls around the driveway and generally makes us smile. When I used to have a car, she would wait and jump inside. I was always careful to make sure that “Little Tarts” wasn’t left in the car. I used to worry that while driving on the M25 a little face would appear in the rear-view mirror, resulting in having to turn back luckily this never happened.
I have known this fella for 16 years, he is named after Spike from Buffy.
There is one special cat that lived with me for 13 years, I met him when he was one day old and he definitely ruled the flat. If I could be reincarnated and live like Spike I would be very happy. He is now 16 and lives a happy retirement with friends, making it very clear who owns the garden he enjoys daily. I don’t see him as often as I should, but when I do he does remember me. I think about that kitty a lot and will always love him. It’s at this point I should give honorary mentions to Katie and Fluffy the cats who lived with my family (at separate times) in South London during the 70s, both of them made it clear who was the head of the household.
The sites of Barking.
You might think coming back as a pampered pussy is boring. When I could have chosen a top predator like a Leopard, while I enjoy running I suspect that living on the savannah dodging poachers could be stressful. I did consider a deep-sea giant like a humpback, while I love being in sea, I thought that being bullied by Orca or pestered by boats wasn’t how I would like to live. A pretty butterfly was a thought, but some have lifespans of only a few hours others days. I think reincarnating many times a week would get boring and tiring.
Delight on Sunday feeding Squirrels.
I definitely think life would be so much more satisfying and simple as a pampered pussy. I like the idea of being fussed, tickled with the occasional gentle tail pulling. Yes, I would like to come back as a cat, a fat but healthy pampered puss. I don’t believe is a higher being; however if by believing in humanities first superhero I could come back as a happy cat, then sign me up?
A prezzie for a special Aunty from a young artist..
And Now For Something Completely Different……
This week something special happened. My 5-year-old niece gave me a hand-written list of things that she would like me to bring during my next visit. Being a stupid old aunty, I completely forgot to bring stuff that I had previously promised, she never forgets. The list was completely her idea; of course I spelt what she wanted the list to say.
The first list.
That piece of paper has become my most treasured possession. Even more important than my Morrissey autograph from 1992 or the 1983 DWAS convention programme signed by a whole host of Doctor Who actors, many not with us anymore.
I am now expecting to receive lists on a regular basis. Not quite sure what will happen when I start getting lists from all my nephews as well. All I know is I definitely won’t be able to afford to be cryogenically persevered when the end comes, someone prepare the rocket instead.
Putting on a sock in preparation for Ariel yoga, my heel went through the thin material making a ripping sound. This entertained my limping friend hugely. Karma bit me hard on the bum at that moment.
I spent the class looking like this, what a numpty.
A person this week wanted to check that they were on the “Electrical roll”, this made me smile. I think that could be considered Call-Centre humour.
Writing this Shiz, while being distracted.
My Mid Life Crisis Conts……
This week I have mainly been watching:
“Buffy The Vampire Slayer”, (S5, ep 18 to ep 22)(S6,ep 1 to ep 6). “Click”, (TX: 01/07/17). “Doctor Who”, (S1 (1963), ep 1)(S36/S10, ep 12). “Horizon: The Dawn Of The Driverless Car”, (2017, TX: 29/06/17). “Invented in….The Midlands, ….The North, ….The South East, ….The South West, ….The West Country”, (TX: 23/06/17). “Melvyn Bragg On TV: The Box That Changed The World”, (TX: 01/07/17). “Storyville, Oink: Man Loves Pink”, (TX: 02/07/17). “Terry And Julian”, (S1, ep 1 & ep 2). “The Crystal Maze (2017): Celebrity Special”, (S7/S1, ep 3). “The Doctor Who Fanshow”, (TX: 30/06/17). “The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy”, (BBC, ep 1). “The Graham Norton Show”, (S21, ep 13). “The Handmaid’s Tale”, (S1, ep 6 to ep 9). “The Hidden Art Of Islam”, (TX: 15/03/12). “The Last Leg”, (S11, ep 7). “The Making Of The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy”, (Docu, 1992).
This week I have mainly been listening to: “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (30/06, 03/07 x 2, 04/07 x 2, 05/07). “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (30/6, 03/07, 04/07, 05/07/17). “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (29/06, 06/07/17). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (01/07, 07/07/17). “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 47, 30/06/17). “Strange Times”, (ep 117, 21/06/15)(ep 115, 14/06/15)(ep 114, 09/06/15)(ep 113, 08/06/15). “The Aggy Fox Podcast”, (ep 1, 10/03/17). “The Angelos And Barry Show”, (06/07/17). “The Nick Abbot Habit”, (ep 9, 30/06/17). “These People Podcast”, (ep 30, 01/07/17). “Morrissey”, “The Flaming Lips”, “Lorde”, “The Foo Fighters”, “Faithless”, ”Radiohead”, “The Cribbs”, “P.J Harvey”, Luo Reed”.