Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East & Central London, Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 158 Saturday 24^th June until Friday 30^th June 2017.

Last weekend I traveled into London with my bowling teammates Lunge and Calamity to see a matinee performance of Ruby Wax live in her one woman show.  At the end, I clapped enthusiastically as she danced in a hula skirt to Cyndi Lauper’s “girls just want to have fun”.  The star of the show passed within feet of me as she left the small venue, I did want a piccy and autograph but she had another show 90 mins later so I thought I better not disturb her.

  A pre show drink.  My entry for the Turner prize 2017.

Most of my bowling friends enjoyed the show; I say this as one member nodded off.  I should say that this is no way representative of Ms Wax excellent show which the rest of us enjoyed.  At least there was no snoring.  Just think how bad it could have been if Ruby had stopped the show, looking out into the audience searching for a noise louder than what her microphone was picking up.  My friend was as quiet as a church mouse if you’re wondering.

  A great way to spent a Saturday afternoon.

I have occasionally nodded off in the cinema or at a live show, when the eyes become heavy it’s very difficult to control that sleepy comforting feeling.  The worst part is suddenly being woken up with a jerk as the head snaps backwards quickly.  When that happens the first thing that needs to be done is a dribble check, is there anything on the chin or cheek which shouldn’t be there.  Then there’s a sly look either side hoping that other audience members didn’t notice anything.

  Ms Wax and myself, just before she arrived on stage.
I can totally understand why my friend felt a little robbed at the fact that she missed sections of a very funny show.  But if your body needs a nap, there’s not a lot you can do about it.  Sleep is so important and speaking for myself it’s something I don’t get enough of.  Most nights I can honestly say I sleep terribly, waking up numerous times disturbing dreams that I can fly or fighting aliens.  The rest of the bowling team (all two of us) fully debriefed our sleepy friend about what they missed.  However, our delivery wasn’t anywhere near as funny as Ms Wax, which is why she entertained a room of 400 people and we didn’t.

 My Hogwarts cloak of invisibility was a great investment. 

Thinking about it there is nothing nicer than an afternoon nap.  However, I would prefer a bed, but a large auditorium full of people will do, I’m not fussy.

 I really wanted to set these chaps free.

And Now For Something “Slightly” Different (ish)…… 

While in central London the bowling team (we really need a name), had adventures with lifts old and new.

  Attempting to be an adult.

The first was a very science fiction looking almost totally glass, circular elevator.  Calamity limped inside the futuristic capsule on her crutches, followed by a couple of elderly women also on crutches and sticks.  It was at the last moment that Lunge and I decided to walk the 22 shallow steps; we really would have looked lazy if we had used the lift as well.  During the 40 seconds that the three women were confined, they bonded over their different injuries and styles of sticks and crutches.  It would have been interesting to have watched what would have happened if the lift had got stuck, who would have bludgeoned who first to survive.  My money was on the old lady with the stick.

  Anoodle and Grandma.  Watching Doctor Who while having a late night Friday evening snack.

A little later, at the National Portrait Gallery while going through an extensive bag searches I was asked by the guard what I was looking forward to seeing.  I was too embarrassed to admit we were only there for the loo, yes, I’m a philistine.  Once we were comfortable, it was decided that it might be easier for Calamity to take the lift.  This time the lift was a traditional boring old box.  It was only when Lunge and I were climbing the stairs two at a time that we discovered that the lift didn’t stop at the next floor.  A few minutes later our limping friend came down the stairs one at a time holding her crutches in one hand, not impressed she had to struggle further than necessary.  Being told that she could hear us cackling like a pack of hyenas while she was “going up” made us laugh even more.

 Writing this Shiz.

For the rest of the day Calamity didn’t let Lunge and I out of her sight.  If she was going to get stuck in a lift we were all going to be stuck in a lift, that’s equality after all.  If this happened I have a feeling I know who was going to be on the wrong end the rubber stopper at the end of her crutches.

 In the bedroom studio recording a podcast, with Aggy Fox..

And Finally……

 I love to count.

Am a little obsessed with the BBC NEWS countdown.  I sit and watch it on the TV at the other end of the office, while humming the theme to myself.

Summer appears to have ended, after a heatwave at the start of the week.

 Does he know something the rest of us doesn’t.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“Buffy The Vampire Slayer”, (S5, ep 12 to 17).  “Click”, (TX: 24/06/17).  “Detectorist”, (S2, ep 1).  “Doctor Who”, (S36/S10, ep 11).  “Glastonbury 2017”, (TX 23/06 to 25/06/17).  “Horizon: The End Of The Solar System”, (2016, ep 5).  “Host The Week”, (S1, ep 1).  “Invented in….London, ….East Midlands, ….The East, ….The North East, ….The North West, ….The South”, (TX: 23/06/17).  “Loaded”, (S1, ep 7 & ep 8).  “Panorama, London Tower Fire: Britain’s Shame”, (TX: 19/06/17).  “Planet Oil: The Treasure That Conquered The World”, (TX: 24/02/15, ep 3).  “Pain, Pus And Poison: The Search Of Modern Medicine”, (TX: 17/10/13, ep 3).  “Saturday Kitchen”, (TX: 27/05/17).  “The Comets tail”, (TX: 25/11/07).  “The Crystal Maze (2017): Celebrity Special”, (S7/S1, ep 2).  “The Doctor Who Fanshow”, (TX: 24/06/17).  “The Fantastical World Of Hormones With Professor John Was”, (TX: 26/02/14).  “The Graham Norton Show”, (S21, ep 12).  “The Handmaid’s Tale”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 5).  “The Last Leg”, (S11, ep 6). 

This week I saw live on stage:  

“Ruby Wax: Frazzled”, (The Leicester Square Theatre) (24/06/17)           

This week I have mainly been listening to:   “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (16/06, 23/06 x2, 27/06, 29/06/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (22/06, 23/06, 26/06, 27/06, 29/0617).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Offcuts)”, (23/06, 29/06/17).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (24/06, 30/06/17).  “Scroobius Pip’s Distraction Pieces Podcast”, (ep 155: pt 1, 14/06/17).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 46, 23/06/17).  “Strange Times”, (ep 123, 30/07/15)(ep 122, 20/07/15(ep 121, 13/07/15)(ep 120, 12/07/15)(ep 119, 08/07/15)(ep 118, 29/06/15)(ep 116, 07/07/15).  “The Aggy Fox Podcast”, (ep 14, 30/06/17).  “These People Podcast, Voice Mail Special”, (24/06/17).  “Morrissey”,  “Radiohead”,  “Haim”,  “First Aid Club”,  “Black Grape”,  ”Bowie”,  “The Foo Fighters”, “Bob Marley”, The Killers”, Biffy Clyro”, Cyndi Lauper”, “Simple Minds”.