Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in South & East London (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 111, Saturday 30th July until Friday 5th August 2016.

This week’s ramble was composed while travelling on the train and written on the back of “The Amended Gatwick Express and Southern Timetable”.  After the pitiful service that myself and others have suffered recently courtesy of “Southern” it’s the least they can do but supply me with paper to write this shit on.

 Thanks to “Southern” for scrap paper to write this weeks Blog.

Weekly I never know how personal to be, do you really want to read about how boring life in London is, or should I spice it up and make out that everything is wonderfully sparkly…… No I’ll just tell you how it is.

 I just wanted to eat this BB-8 cake up in one go. 

This week I’ve had a bad tummy and a Migraine, that’s how interesting it’s been.  A bad tummy is never pleasant, but this week it’s actually helped with my wedding diet (don’t worry the internet dating thing hasn’t resulted in a ceremony that my mum needs a hat, it’s one of my sisters getting wedded).  As a result I have lost 5lbs, I really can’t say what part of me I’ve lost because there is still enough of a gut to suck in every day.

 A rather nice random tattoo of the week spotted on the tube.

I have a theory about the recent weight loss.  It’s not been a great summer in London, but I find it’s warm and slightly humid which has meant I sleep with a window open.  I’ve watched every episode of The X-files, so I know that the “Greys” like to abduct sleeping humans, probe them before returning them peacefully back in there beds.  Their technology really must be amazing, forget the fact that they have traveled through interstellar space, the void to reach Earth. What’s amazing is how they managed to lift my bulk off the bed out through a small first floor window and up into their craft, probe me and fit me with a temporary imaginary gastric band before returning me to bed.  I say this because at the moment I’m really not hungry, I am the first to put my hand up to a large portion of chips with salt and vinegar, tommy sauce eaten with a small wooden spork (a cross between a fork and a spoon).  But this week I wouldn’t have even been able to look at a spud let alone splash Tomato sauce on everything.  As I mentioned earlier I’ve really suffered with a bad tummy in the last seven days……. Maybe I won’t go in to the unpleasant details, just leave it to your imagination.

  These art installations will be in the Tate next year.

Another side effect of the abduction has been a migraine.  I have learnt over time that if I wake up in the middle of the night (as a rule I never sleep well, and I don’t blame the aliens for that) with a bad head, I usually spend the rest of the day with a throbber.  This particular morning the alarm went off and sure enough my left temple hurt.  I spent an hour travelling on public transport trying to zone out the rhythm of the train and the constant public address announcements that bombard passengers these days.  Once at work I managed an hour before I had to rush to the loo to drive the porcelain bus. Putting my head down a local government lav before 9am while keeping hair and a dangling ID lanyard out of the trail of vomit is not easy.  An hour later I was laying down in a dark room in the quiet of my sister house, I say quiet as they were on holiday.  Cutting a long story short the migraine has lasted for 2 days now (there are still traces while writing this ramble, maybe this is making it worse).

  Travelling with a throbbing head, it felt like it was going to burst.

When I have a headache like this just moving, for example leaning over bending down hurts.  In fact my head actually feels empty.  This won’t come as a surprise to anyone that really knows me; they will tell you that my head is empty of anything useful or important.  But that’s for another week I think. When a migraine lasts for this long its only “normal” to worry that there might be something really wrong in there, or could this be a sign that a Brain is finally growing filling the empty cavity of my skull.  I had a recommendation of an over the counter drug that I hope will do the trick.

 Emmmm, drugs.

In conclusion it’s been a week of shit and headaches, those aliens are responsible for a lot, maybe I should close the bedroom window in future.

In other news…..

  A narrow gauge railway next to the BR line, bet it’s time keeping is better.

Almost tripped MOZ on a flight of stairs at “Chadwell Heath” station, because I saw a narrow gauge track in the garden of the next door.  MOZ almost tripped me up when she spotted a 5p on the floor, I’m just glad we don’t have ½ pence’s anymore that’s would have been a really cheap trip.  While writing an e-mail at work I typed “arse” instead of “are” only noticing at the very last minute (that was close).  I have noticed how a lot of people are walking while swinging both arms, could this be a new exercise craze.

  Licky Ice Cream fun.

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have been watching:  “Andromeda”, (Season 3, eps 10).  “Fleabag”, (Season 1, eps 3).  “Man Down”, Season 3, eps 4).  “Rhod Gilbert’s Work experience”, (Season 6, eps 4).  ).  “Robot Wars”, (2016, eps 2).  “Skins”, (Season 1, eps 1 to 9) (Season 2, eps 1 to 3).  “Stargate SG1”, (Season 5, eps 20).  “The Out-Laws”, (Season 1, eps 2 & 3).  “The Secret Agent”, (Season 1, eps 2 & 3).  “Wasted”, (Season 1, eps 3).           

 This week I have mainly been listening to  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (28/07, 01/08, 02/08/16).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (28/07, 29/07, 01/08, 02/08, 03/08/16).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Live)”, (03/08/16).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (28/07/16).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Mid-Week)”, (02/08/16).   ”LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (30/07, 05/08/16).  “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (eps 10, 27/11 & eps 11, 23/12 & eps 12 25/12/2015).  “The Angelos & Barry Show”, (24/11, 17/11, 12/11, 06/11, 28/10, 23/10, 30/09, 23/09, 03/09, 27/08, 18/07/15).    “Morrissey”, “White Stripes”, “Ting Tings”, “Royal Blood”, “Depeche Mode”, “Ash”, “Warpaint”, “First Aid Club”, “Ladyhawke”.

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