Misfits Mid Life Crisis Adventures in ………….. Mozambique.

Week 36, Saturday 21st until Friday 27^th February 2015.

This week I have mainly been listening to….. The B52s, Pulp, Sleeper, Morrissey, Echobelly, The Stone Roses, The Velvet Underground, Suede (Saturday Night).

And have been watching…. Weeds (season 4, eps 7 to 13) & (Season 5, eps 1 to 13) & (Season 6, eps 1 to 4)

Still reading on Kindle…… “A Game of Thrones, A Song of Ice and Fire” book 1 by George R.R. Martin.

 Happy B’day little man.

Saturday 21^st, The Liquid household has a new housemate and DMT, he arrived last night a French guy called Adrian seems very nice, it’s always good to dive with new people.

I didn’t have a good night I haven’t felt 100% the last couple of days so I made the decision to stay at home. I actually spent most of the morning in bed and a little part of the afternoon as well lazy cow. I’m deffo not going to reach 200 Tofo dives by the time I leave, it would have been a nice round number to have ended my trip on. In 14 days’ time I will be flying home it’s not something I really want to do but I have to go home eventually and do some real work for a few months so I can return to this paradise. Also I really want to see my nephews and niece, so I should look forward to going back to Blighty, but Tofo has become my reality. I posted the pictures I took yesterday for Jesse my nephew who is ONE today; when I last saw him he was 3 months old can’t wait to squeeze him. I Skyped with SAZ and family and she has asked me to bring back “cardboard Jesse” from the pictures (I was going to anyway). I spent the afternoon helping Jen start making Marula jam. Marula’s are small green fruits like a lemon on the outside and a lychee on the inside. Sitting watching the sea while cutting the fruits was therapeutic. I made a last minute decision this evening to do a cartoon for my 7 year old cuz Amelia, it was a quick job and as a result the toon looks more like UK comic Sarah Millican.

 Sorry to Amelia Foote and Sarah Millican.

Sunday 22^nd, was back at the dive shop, didn’t feel 100% but it was better to be at the dive ship then sleeping all day. I didn’t go on the double tank which was a pity as I really wanted to go south again. For the second Sunday in a row we have had no electric from early (5 or 6am) until the afternoon, today it came back at 4pm. The funny thing was we had water all day. Most days we don’t have water but we have electric, today it was the other way round. When there’s no water we have to fill a bucket to flush the loo, sometimes you have to use water from the swimming pool, that’s life here in Tofo. I conducted a Scuba review for a qualified diver who hasn’t dived in a while. Once the pool session had taken place I took the customer to our shallow site “Clownfish” for a dive. This is always a fave dive site for me there is just so much life to be seen. I got Bluebotted on the chin and leg, ouch (Blue bottles are not Jellyfish there similar, the sting is more of an irritant like a bee sting after 20 minutes or so it’s gone). Mike, Miki and Adrian and I made sure that equipment such as fins and wetsuits and BCDs were all in the correct order. We wanted everything to be good as Tomorrow Nadia our main instructor returns from holiday. I Skyped with my best friend MOZ, we chat in texts and e-mails most days but haven’t Skyped since New Year’s Eve. It was so nice spending a couple of hours chatting about pretty much anything and everything, it was as if we were in London in our regular Starbucks. This evening we had a Braai, Mike and Miki cooked Boerewors (South African sausage) mash and some lovely fish, I was definitely full by the time I went to bed.

 The food is shaped like Africa, only just realised that not done on purpose.

Monday 23^rd, having breakfast watching the sea there was some sun but the sky was a little cloudy. After a shower and getting dressed the whole scene had changed. The rain was lashing down, and I couldn’t see much of the sea due to mist. Went on 2 dives today both the launches were rough we only dived with in the bay due to the conditions. I sat on the boat holding on to the ropes riding the waves while what felt like buckets of water were being thrown over me. But it was all worth it as the viz on the dives was great. At “Giants Castle” the viz must have been 20+ metres, nice dive nothing major to report until towards the end when a Reef Manta was spotted below us. Everyone was very excited as it’s the first Manta we have seen for a while. After spending time at the shop we went out again to “Sherwood Forest” this time no Manta’s but a number of Morays were observed. I was Bluebottled again this time on the arm, I wonder if you build up a tolerance if you get stung enough. Miki has had a look at my back; he is a qualified Osteopath. I got a good pummelling, yes it did hurt. I spent the rest of the day not in pain as such, but uncomfortable. This evening there is a meeting with a person from the British High Commission, I decided I wasn’t going to go hopefully I won’t get arrested for the remaining time I’m here so I don’t think I’m going to need them. Plus people said you needed to dress up a little and I can’t be bothered with all that, oh I don’t have any smart clothes anyway.

 “Whats up Doc”, actually my back….

Tuesday 24^th, woke up and my back felt stiff (Miki said it will be) and painful. I went to the dive shop but after helping set up the dive I decided to be good to my back and go home. I laid on the couch by the door while Jen put ice on my back I ended up sleeping for a while and waking up in a puddle (where ice had melted). Spent the rest of the day thinking of interesting ways I can make money when in the UK. Some of the current ideas include working as an extra in TV/Film, being a still life model for art schools, maybe working in a Lesbian and Gay bar, how about phone sex. For a few days I have been worried as to the actual day I fly as my phone has said it’s a Thursday, but I’m sure it’s a Friday. I realised today that when I last reset the calendar (I had to do this after I charged my internet dongle, you have to put the dongles SIM in the phone) I set it to 2014. I do go home on a Friday 6^th March. Something else that I thought about is clothes, as I’m going to be staying with my sister in Surrey but all my clothes are with MOZ in Essex. I really am not going to be suitably attired when I arrive in shorts vest top and flip flops holding a battered M&S hat. I don’t normally feel the cold so I should be ok, but after 9 months of Mozziebeak weather I might not be so hardy anymore. Will have to make arrangement

 Ghost feet, need some sun.

Wednesday 25^th, my back sore again, as a result I had to take another day off this meant that I missed an epic dives up north with Leopard sharks. I did my own thing a combination of sleeping and watching more “Weeds”. When the fan stopped working due to another power cut I decided I had to get out and buy supplies Beer, Juice, Bread the important things in life. While in the market I bumped in to Justin (he of the Naked dive last week). The next thing I knew I was in a local bar drinking beer, it was very consensual. I must have looked a sight staggering home with my shopping. I really didn’t do anything of interest for the rest of the day.

 In my booties and shortie.

Thursday 26^th, went on a double tank south to “Manta Reef” and “Marble Arch”. Both dives had viz of 20 plus metres it was so beautiful lots of schooling fish and huge Groupers, but nothing really special to report. I have a tan suntan problem, my legs only have colour from the thighs to my ankles. This is from wearing shorts and/or a shortie wetsuit; my feet are a lighter shade because I wear flip flops around the shop but dive boots when I go on a dive. I’m not a sun lover you would never normally see me out trying to get colour. I am now actively trying to get my feet as near to the shade of my legs, the booties are only worn just before I actually dive. I have a Liquid Dive Adventures vest top, Miki cut a number of our T-shirts in to vests. I don’t think the bosses back in November were keen on the idea when the shirts were ordered. But now a number of the team have gone to Miki for his restyling. This means that my shoulders are getting rays after being covered the last few months (before the T-shirts I wore vest tops I brought with me so I do have a little colour on the shoulders). This evening I have been balancing on a ledge changing light bulbs. If I was the surgeon then Jen was the nurse helping to hand me screws and her pink screwdriver in the shape of a small pistol (hand gun). To get from one side of the pillar to the other I could have stepped down and walked around, that was not good enough. I gave Jen a heart attack each time by hugging the pillar and moving round it with nothing but a 5 or more metre drop behind me. Jen’s concern only made me do it again and again and again. Managed to get most of the lights working not all of them, the bulbs and wiring are shocking here in Mozziebeak (Mike is a qualified electrician, he said that).

  Daredevil or nut case you decide.

Friday 27^th, what a day. Miki got crapped on by a bird (it’s meant to be good luck) and I think we had good luck. Two dives of epicness. The sea in the morning was as flat as a pancake there was also no wind. The viz at “Giants” was maybe 30 metres, we saw giant Lobsters, a free swimming Moray, schooling Big Eyed Trevally and Barracuda, a Jenkins ray chilling on the sea floor. But the Big highlight we were buzzed by two Dolphins while on our safety stop. We had been followed by Dolphins on the way to the dive site, so I think everyone was secretly hoping we would see them at depth. Miki screamed so loud in to his regulator when he spotted them. The second dive to “Sherwood Forest” we had viz of 20 plus metres. There is a short swim thru that allows divers to pass from one side of a huge rock to the other. Today no one could go through laying on the sand in the middle of the swim thru was a large Blotchtail Fan Ray just chilling. The group who I lead just floated and watched in awe of this beautiful creature resting undercover protected by the shallow rock archway. We did have schooling Amber jacks who parted like an underwater curtain for us. On both dives no one wanted to surface. I must mention Chris problem with a Squirrel running around his house annoying his cats, I laughed so much. I named the Squirrel Steven I thought it was rude just to say “the Squirrel”.

 Giants Castle or the Boogerman and  Sherwood Forest or the Millennium Falcon in the asteroid field from ESB

I have only one week left of this adventure; I suspect it’s going to pass really quickly. I need to make the most of every second I have left in Mozziebeak. I will return in July or August but I have to enjoy all the remaining time in this amazing country with beautiful sea life and wonderful people. Bring on lots more dives of Epicness mother nature.