Misfits Mid Life Crisis Adventures in ………….. Mozambique

Week 4.

This week I have mainly been listening to, PJ Harvey, Morrissey, Goldfrapp, Oasis, the XX, Ladyhawk (while running).

Am have been watching…. Limitless, Hansel and Gretal Witch hunters, more season 1 Fringe (im up to ep 15 I think), Almost Human ep 6 and 7, Cuban Heels and Robocop (2014).

Saturday, the start of the week, was a shop day (were short on staff due to illness), it meant I got to feed and wee (and poo) dive shop kitty Swayze and have her snuggle up to me most of the day, I do love to stroke a pussy (snigger). Oh, at 6.30 this morning while making my way to the dive shop I met a kid, no more the 10 or 11, already waiting to sell coconut bread rolls. I bought a bag, as a kid should be in bed at that time not prowling the beach selling bread. I got my internet dongle working today, hooray…. I have internet when I want it. It appears that everything is pay as you go here. I have loaded it with megabites, let’s see how long it lasts. Beautiful full moon tonight, took the camera out to the beach to snap some shots. Had a meal in a street café called bamboo , rice and fish, I don’t know what the fish was but it was tasty, I didn’t eat the head. On the TV was what appeared to be either Mozambique’s Got Talent or there version of the X-Factor, one bloke sang a Coldplay song in Portuguese while a woman randomly danced in the background (reminded me of Howard Jones in the 80s who had a dancer in chains randomly next to him), I didn’t take notice who won, sorry.

Sunday, was a partial day off, I covered dive centre in morning looking after Swayze, when everyone came back I pootled off and did my own thing. I had a lazy Sunday it was very hot, so I slept and watched a film. Went to the beach and spent time with Martina and family. In the evening I met Martina for a meal, went to a nice place called “What u want”, I had half a chicken and chips….. (so tasty). I arrived early so walked around Tofo for a bit (there’s not much to walk around) and then sat on a wall near the restaurant, as I didn’t want to go in on my own. Kate who works there, who I have met a couple of times came over partly coz she thought I was someone else, but also coz I looked a little lost. She made going in on my own so much easier, any way Martina arrived minutes later. Had a lovely evening in down town Tofo, just escaped as the dreaded football started? Oh I dropped my cheap stupid torch, the front lens and the bulb came out, fell in between wooden slatted floor, will look in the morning.

Monday started with me looking for the lost bits of my torch, I found the lens (plastic) and the reflective thingy (a kind woman who works at the place im staying helped me fish them out from between the wooden flooring). But the actual bulb was not found; luckily I have a torch on my cheap ASDA phone. Double tank dive, the sea was so flat going out to the first dive site. I had ear problems going down; by the time I equalised and got to depth everyone had buggered off. So I looked around and dually did the lost diver thing of come up slowly without a safety stop, all the time ascending I was looking for signs of divers or bubbles, didn’t see them. The second dive was more successful, lovely site called “Office” 3 large potato groupers leaving near each other (one snapped at another fish who got two close), couple of large morays (love a Morey). On our safety stop circling below us were a couple of Devil rays. Once on the surface the conditions had changed, it was dark, windy and raining. As we travelled back to land at speed the rain felt like bullets on your face. Later on I went for my run, and yes I saw the Pig. There are a couple of Goats that are trying to make themselves as interesting as the pig, but it’s not going to work they can bleat (do Goats bleat) as much as they like.  

Tuesday, started with a rainbow over Tofo, so beautiful. The day ended in tears, Swayze (dive shop kitty) was killed by two dogs during lunch time. I’d spent the morning with her snuggled up to me, sleeping in my arms, I feed her and played with her, had a lovely time. I took some nice pictures of her and me. Once the mornings dive had came back I went to lunch, I had pizza and had to wait for what seemed ages (they were so busy). I get back to find she’s been attacked and died. Swayze just lay there looking like she was awake, still alive, she was still warm (it was heart breaking, I just cried). A few of us thought there was a heartbeat but there wasn’t. What had happened was a man had come and he had 2 large dogs in the car, they got out and came over and sniffed Swayze who’s nest (a plastic washing up bowl) had been moved to the floor as she kept getting out, people didn’t want her to fall off the counter. I’m told that the dogs sniffed her then just attacked, Jimmy and others pulled the dogs apart but the damage was done. She’s been buried in the back garden of Liquid Adventure. Such a lovely little kitty, so innocent who gave so much pleasure to all at Liquid and the people who passed through. I really feel so upset, even though she was not mine, I spent so much time with her I really loved that kitten, she really had stolen my heart. A black Tuesday here in Tofo.

Wednesday, was tough i’m not going to pretend it wasn’t, I went and said hello to Swayze (grave), I cant help it I care that’s all. Any way I went on ocean Safari, saw humpbacks and dolphins, punters get in the water (not with Humpbacks) and snorkel, I got in with them just to keep an eye on them. The water was beautiful really warm, the dolphins though didn’t want to play, they have far better things on their minds (certinally according to the Hitchicker’s guide to the galaxy, anyway). Had a good couple of hours on the boat, it was full of people. My first time travelling right at the front with the captain, woo hoo. Other than that I did my run……. PIGWATCH….PIGWATCH…. I saw my pig while coming back from the petrol station, didn’t see him/her going was a little worried at first. But I can confirm that piggy has been spotted… this ends PIGWATCH….. There are a few cows that are now trying to get attention, like the previously mentioned Goats, it’s not going to work. Oh saw Kelvin the policeman and he said he is going to come visit me soon, I said Iusually went to bed early to try and put him off. Maybe friends in a position of power is not such a good thing after all. I ate again in bamboo the local restaurant, having rice and fish (again) for 50mts (just under a pound), huge plate of rice and nondescript fish (didn’t have a head like last Saturday). Really tasty and filling, I’m trying to eat cheaply, as I’m not making any money so am living off the money that I save before I left.

Thursday, this morning I used nail varnish to write on a brick at Swayzes grave, I felt it was important that it was marked properly. Turns out I’m not the only person that has visited her everyday so far. I think of her a lot, which upsets me. I took part in my first DSD (discover scuba diving), a person completely new to diving has a taster. The instructor (the lovely Kris) explains and demonstrates the equipment and skills that will be repeated in the pool. Once in the pool, I just observe, but helped with the “out of air” skill. Sat we take the punter out on a shallow dive to try the skills in the ocean, in a real dive environment. Earlier today Jimmy and I went over a few of the self-assessments with Nadia (our main instructor) from the DM book, which also went well. Oh today I got confirmation I’m a rescue diver, that’s one step towards being a DM. I ate again in bamboo, had rice and fish for 60mts, todays fish had head and eyes, I didn’t really eat the head. The rice was lovely really a filling meal must get a pic of the place. Tonight it’s blowing a storm, sand was blowing in to my eyes while walking through the market and across the beach with my little light from my cheap phone. While flicking through TV channels in the bar (it was empty) I found Angolan TV, showing their version of Big Brother, I didn’t watch any of it. I also found BBC entertainment from South Africa, Watch a little it felt like I was really at home.

Friday in Tofo was a slow start, not a lot to do in the morning. It’s been windy and the sea looked rough, there were a few kite surfers taking advantage of the wind and waves today. Had some nice coconut this morning, forcing it out first with a bit of coconut shell, then I went up market and used a spoon.    This afternoon Jimmy and I had to demonstrate various skills to Nadia in the pool. You are showing that you can demonstrate the skills to others; it’s not showing that you know how to do them (which of course you do). So everything is a little exaggerated, with your hand you motion the breathing in and out of the regulator as you do the skill that sort of thing. You’re sort of presenting the skill in a way I suppose. Sunday we’ll get scored, 3 is a pass per skill but you need to get a 5 on at least one of them (finger crossed). My least favourite one is the mask flooding/taking off and replacing at depth. When I did the maskless swim earlier I really couldn’t see anything, I was just looking for dark shapes that were jimmy and Nadia so I knew I was in the right direction (sort off). Had a shit run this eve, I don’t know if it’s due to being tired or not eating much, or of course having been in the pool for a while doing the skills. But getting to the petrol station was fine, but coming back was a struggle and I admit I walked up a few hills. But I can report I saw the pig, that’s the main news today. I wish I had a camera on the run (will have to take the gopro) as I see some great sites when out and about. Had Chicken (actually one drumstick) and rice in bamboo for 50mts, huge plate of rice again can’t really complain I suppose. Might treat myself to some more expensive food this weekend, give bamboo a rest for a few days, don’t want them getting sick of me now.

I left the UK a month ago tomorrow (Saturday), in same ways its gone quick, in others it hasn’t. I have to admit I feel very much at home here. Yes I miss Spike (the cat), MOZ and of course my nephews and niece (yes, especially Anaia as I used to see her more often) I hope that the little ones remember there aunty. This week though has been sad due to the loss of Swayze (maybe she was a little like a Spike replacement, I don’t know) But she won’t be forgotten. That’s it for this week…..

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