Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East, South West, Essex (inc Chelmsford) & Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 298 Saturday 29^th  February until Friday 6^th March 2020.

 

Walking around Hyland house in Essex last weekend, listening to Diane the very knowable guide talking about the history of the building and the people who have owned it, got me thinking about the future.

 “Hyland House”.

What will the future make of me?  These days we are all more aware that what we write on-line could come back to haunt them.  If digital archaeologists in the future look at my online footprint, I hope that they would think I was an “ok” person.  Reading this blog, they would see I like to moan, but I am careful never to name names.  Hopefully they will get an idea of who I was, what I liked and what life was like during this period.

 “Getting very muddy, taking pics”.

When I pop my clogs, I would like to cremated (not in a wooden box, something more echo friendly. Recently I read about “Human Composting” which sounds appealing, if that’s available when needed that would be a good choice).  If money was not an option Cryogenics would be my number one storage choice (it’s a lot cheaper if just the head is preserved. The saggy useless excuse for a body can be thrown away).  The reason for cremation is partly because over the years I have watched a lot of Time Team and seen a number of very clever muddy faced diggers waving their trowels around explaining their theories about the remains discovered.  Scientist have wonderful technology which helps them build a picture of what the person’s life was like by dating remains, and looking at minute chemical information.  But they do still have to make a lot of it up.

 “Pretty, pointless”.

If I had to be buried, could I request that I am implanted with a microchip (this may already be possible, I haven’t researched it! If not, then this is my idea and I will make Squillions) so that any future archaeologist finding what’s left of me won’t need to make up stories.  All they will need to do is download the info (which of course would only be the truth.  I would never lie claiming to be rich, beautiful and a superstar!!).  This would lead them to a dusty corner of the net where they would find this blog and all my socials.  When they realise, that they have discovered the remains of the most boring biped to have ever walked the earth that chip will either suddenly be lost in a dusty corner of the lab, or “accidently fall” into an industrial shredder.  While my remains would be ground into a fine powder and snorted by student archaeologists for a dare one night.

 “Cheers, hand off my slice”.

Walking round the Hyland House, I was fascinated by the beautiful portraits of various owners over the years. Even though our guide told us a lot about these people I wondered what they were really like.  Sadly, we can never know.  But arachnologist of the future will know everything about me and others alive today.  Our throw-a-way social posts, blogs even selfies will become important social document of what life was like in 2020.  The clever people of the future will never need to stroke their chins and make up stories ever again. This might take some of the fun out their job, but what an interesting job to do.

 “Cheese”.

And Now For Something Completely Different……

 “Seeing Double”.

I spend a lot of time at work explaining complicated figures to people on the phone that are busy doing something more important at the same time.  Some of the regular activities include eating, yarning loudly, travelling on noisy public transport or sitting on the loo!  They make it very clear they are not actually listening to me.  There are occasions I am tempted to thrown into the conversation the name of an obscure Doctor Who alien race such as “Voord”, “Drashigs” to see if they notice.

 “Homemade Sri-Lankan Curry from one of my bosses”.

Strangely for a person that hardly uses the phone in real life; I have worked with phones a lot.  Every day a small piece of my sole dies working in a call centre.  This is a promise to myself and you, that when I am looking for a new job it will not involve phones.

Over the last year I have collected stories under the title of “Call Centre Karma”, maybe one day ill spill the beans and earn Zillions.

 “Found a picture of my Granny from 1988 this week”.

And Finally……

 “I couldnt find a pot of gold”.

I heard a passing person say, “A toot on your whistle and a hand on your wheel”.  It’s probably better we don’t know more.

Thought the Sat Nav said “turn right on to Defecation Street”.  It was “Navigation Street”. Should gave realised I was wrong; Chelmsford has more class than that.

 “Ive no idea what this is, but i like it”.

Next week’s blog number 299 is the penultimate one as week 300 will be the end of what I am considering the first season of this ramble.  But don’t panic there will new a new blog late May / early June to document my new adventure which I am currently planning.

 “Writing this shiz, but distracted by Zoe’s arse”.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“Ad Vitam”, (S1, ep 5).  “Cheers”, (S9, ep 2 to ep 13).  “Click”, (TX: 29/02/20).  “Death In Paradise”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 3).  “Diablero”, (S1, ep 5).  “Dirty Streaming: The Internet’s Dirty Secret”, (TX: 05/03/20).  “Hidden”, (S2, ep 4).  “Him & Her: The Wedding”, (ep 2 to ep 5).  “I Am Not Okay With This”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 7).  “Inside No.9”, (S5, ep 5).  “Last Tango In Halifax”, (S5, ep 1 & ep 2).  “Ragnarok”, (S1, ep 4).  “Star Trek: Picard”, (S1, ep 7).  “Terry Nation Army Extra: Inventions Of Future Earth”, (YouTube)(28/02/20).  “The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug”, (Extended DVD Edition)(2013).  “The Last Leg”, (S19, ep 7, TX: 28/02/20).  “This Country”, (S3, ep 3).  “Top Gear”, (S28, ep 6, TX: 01/03/20).                     

Doctor Who Watched This Week:

“Fury From The Deep”, (S5, Prod Code RR)(ep 4, TX: 04/04/68, LC Recon)(ep 5, TX: 13/04/68, LC recon)(Loose Cannon, “Outro” ,”Making Of Fury From The Deep”,  Feb 05).

“The Wheel In Space”, (S5, Prod Code SS)(Joint Venture Recon Intro, BBC Trailer)(ep 1, TX: 27/04/68, JV Recon)(ep 2, TX: 04/05/68, JV Recon)(ep 3, TX: 11/05/68)(ep 4, TX: 18/05/68, JV Recon)(ep 5, TX: 25/05/68, JV Recon)(ep 6, TX: 01/06/68).

“The Dominators”, (S6, Prod Code TT)(ep 1, TX: 10/08/68)(ep 2, TX 17/08/68)(ep 3, TX: 24/08/68)(ep 4, TX: 31/08/68)(ep 5, TX: 07/09/68)(BBC DVD Bonus: Recharge And Equalise, Tomorrows Times: The Second Doctor, 2010).

“The Mind Robber”, (S6, Prod Code UU)(ep 1, TX: 14/09/68)(ep 2, TX: 21/09/68)(ep 3, TX: 28/09/68)(ep 4, TX: 05/10/68)(ep 5, TX: 12/10/68 .

“The Invasion”, (S6, Prod Code VV)(Nicholas Courtney Intro, BBC Video, 1993)(ep 1, TX: 02/11/68, BBC/Cosgrove Hall Recon)(ep 2, TX: 09/11/68)(ep 3, TX: 16/11/68)(ep 4, TX: 23/11/68, BBC/Cosgrove Hall Recon)

“The Timeless Children”, (S12/S38, ep 10, TX: 01/03/20).

This week I have mainly been listening to:  

“Anti Social Show”, (ep 79.5, 29/02/20).  “Blood On The Tracks”, (S2, ep 7, 20/12/18)(ep 8, 27/12/18)(ep 9, 03/01/19).  “Daddy Look At Me”, (S3, Trailer 03/03/20)(Calling Romesh 04/03/20)(ep 1 05/03/20).  “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (02/03/20).  “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (27/02, 28/02, 02/03, 03/03, 04/03/20).  “LBC: Mystery Hour”, (05/03/20).  “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 134, 06/03/20).  “Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (29/02, 06/03/20).  “Rule Of Three”, (S5, ep 5, 05/03/20).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 183, 29/02/20).  “Strange Times”, (ep 336, 01/03/20).  “The All New Angelos And Barry Podcast”, (01/03/20).  “The Nick Abbot Habit”, (02/03/20).  “Walking The Dog With Emily Dean”, (ep 37, 27/05/19)(ep 47, 17/09/19).  “What’s Your Problem? With Nick Abbot And Carol McGiffin”, (S1, ep 7, 02/03/20).  “Morrissey”,  “Men At Work”,  “The Specials”,  “Madness”,  “Kate Bush”,  “Pulp”,  “Suede”,  “The Mock Turtles”,  “The Gin Blossoms”,  “The La’s”,  “Keane”,  “Bombay Bicycle Club”,  “Supergrass”,  “Travis”,  “A Flock Of Seagulls”,  “The Cure”,  “Echo And The Bunnymen”,  “New Order”,  “Blossoms”,  “Hanson”.