Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East and West London, Surrey & Essex (The NEXT Chapter).
Week 260 Saturday 8th until Friday 14thJune 2019.
At the time of writing I have lost over a stone in weight. Stating this here publicly will probably bite me on my lardy arse in the future when all that weight returns. Fingers crossed that doesn’t happen, either way it’s content!
“What a team”.
A problem I have always suffered when shopping is acting a little like a house fly. I don’t mean sniffing around looking for rotten shiz (product rotation was drummed into me when I worked in a supermarket, it’s boring but important. Plus, I was able to hide products I wanted to buy after my shift which I had priced down cheap. There had to be a perk!). When I shop on my own I travel from isle to isle with no plan like a fly buzzing around looking at everything. Whereas my friend MOZ is far more organised with her lists. Ok, if a yellow label catches her eye she’ll have a look but otherwise she knows what she wants.
“Final score, game two”.
Shopping last weekend, we had to rush to the supermarket because it was almost the end of the trading day. This wouldn’t have been the situation if I had not have spent so long in a book shop, which by the way I left £16 lighter. If only dieting was as easy!
“Visited the dump, enjoying the view”.
With only 15 minutes left there was no time to stray from MOZ list. I ignored all the products calling my name that I have built a close and personal relationship with over the years and kept walking. Because of the limited time left we split up. Rushing through the isles reminded me of the 1993 to 2001 & 2007 ITV quiz “Supermarket Sweep” hosted by the late great Dale Winton. For a couple of minutes, I moved up and down the fresh fruit and veg isle concentrating very hard trying to find a Pomegranate. If I had been a contestant Dale would have still welcomed me at the end of the round with a huge smile even though I failed to find the fruit.
“Even the smallest creature can be interesting”.
Shopping like this has its advantages; you pretty much buy only what you came in for. But as shown above the disadvantage is that you may come away empty handed. This extreme high-pressure shopping is good at keeping people like me on target. I haven’t got the time to stand looking at something wondering if one flavour is better than another. Hopefully this will help keep the weight off and I won’t be reporting in a couple of months that my equatorial region has had an avalanche and expanded. Don’t get me wrong I am still a lardy mass of wobbling fat, but a slightly smaller one than a couple of weeks ago. There is a lot of work still to be done.
“Filming outside work, this was all i could see.”
And Now For Something Completely Different……
There was another situation this week when I felt under pressure. Covering the car shouldn’t cause stress. Even on a very windy day I can keep the cover under control while it blows around or inflates like a balloon. The problem this week, I had an audience!
“I wasn’t lying, the wind didn’t wind”.
As I walked to my friend’s car, another pulled up and parked directly outside. The driver and I looked at each other for a millisecond. After this I kept telling myself that I needed to get this right first time! The last thing I wanted was to be the subject of a YouTube video which gets millions of views. We’ve all seen them, someone filmed without their knowledge failing to do something.
“Passed this beauty everyday this week”.
The car got covered without a hitch, i moving around the vehicle not allowing the wind to take over and make a fool of me. Of course, after our eyes met for that moment, the parked drivers gaze was probably not on me at all. I’m not that interesting after all! Maybe they were watching a video of a person failing to do something in spectacular style. Either way that added pressure helped me to get the job completed quickly.
“Interesting view at the lights”.
I used the expression “there’s no wriggle room” when talking about the fact that a payment date cannot be moved. I have no idea where that expression came from!
Said very innocently “just going into the garden to crack one”. My friend laughed and looked up. I was holding a coconut and only going to break it open with a hammer.
“Well within date, but rotten to the core. A complaint has been lodged”.
A man walked past me (I was sitting) on the tube. His finger briefly touched me, which gave me an electric shock. Damn people and their superpowers.
Also, while on the tube at Kew Gardens, I got very excited as I thought Bill Oddie had stepped on board. After peering down between people standing (probably looking like a fool), I realised it wasn’t my favourite Goodie and TV Naturist. One day I’ll meet the great man.
“Loving Springwatch, while writing this shiz”.
My Mid Life Crisis Conts……
This week I have mainly been watching:
“Boa”, (2018). “Click”, (TX: 08/06/19). “DC: Swamp Thing”, (S1, ep 2). “Ellie & Natasia”, (S1, ep 1). “Fear The Walking Dead”, (S2, ep 4 to ep 15)(S3, ep 1 to ep 3). “Incredibles 2”, (2018). “Krypton”, (S2, ep 1). “MISFITS”, (S3, ep 1 to ep 6). “NOS4A2”, (S1, ep 2). “Springwatch 2019”, (ep 9, TX: 10/06/19)(ep 10, TX: 11/06/19)(ep 11, TX: 12/06/19)(ep 12, TX: 12/06/19). “The Last Leg”, (S10, ep 4, TX: 07/06/19). “The Looming Tower”, (S1, ep 7 to ep 10). “The Martian”, (2015). “The Planets”, (S1, ep 3, TX 11/06/19). “The Ranganation”, (S1, ep 4, TX: 09/06/19). “The Sky At Night”, (ep 791, TX: 09/06/19). “Year Of The Rabbit”, (S1, ep 1). “Years And Years”, (S1, ep 5).
This week I have mainly been listening to:
“13 minutes To The Moon (BBC World Service)”, (S1, ep 5, 10/06/19). “30 Animals That Made Us Smarter (BBC World Service)”, (S1, ep 12, 10/06/19). “Buffy Speak”, (ep 1 & 2, 27/03/16)(ep 3, 04/04/16). “Griefcast”, (ep 84, 12/06/19). “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (11/06, 12/06, 13/06/19). “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (07/06, 2x 11/06, 12/06, 13/06/19). “In Poor Taste”, (107, 12/06/19). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (08/06, 14/06/19). “Like Minded Friends”, (ep 2, 21/10/15). “NASA: Gravity Assist”, (13/06/19). “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 96, 14/06/19). “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 145, 07/06/19). “Strange Times”, (ep 305, 31/05/19)(ep 306, 08/06/19). “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 96, 08/06/19). “The All New Angelos And Barry Podcast: LIVE”, (10/06/19). “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 82, 13/06/19). “Morrissey”, “The XX”, “Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs”, “John Grant”, “The Sex Pistols”, “Buffy The Vampire Slayer: The Album”, “The Buffy The Vampire Slayer: Once More With Feeling (OST)”, “The Rolling Stones”, “The Kooks”, “U2”, “Coldplay”, “The Fratellis”, “INXS”, “Del Amitri”, “Hepburn”, “Lana Del Ray”.