Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East, North East & West London, Surrey and Northamptonshire (The NEXT Chapter).
Week 248 Saturday 16th until Friday 22nd March 2019.
I read somewhere that we live our lives to an internal rhythm. Monday to Friday the natural rhythm I follow make’s this large meat sack of a body presentable to the world. Normally the first thing I hear when I become conscious is the radio (I sleep with an ear bud shoved into the side of my head). Then the natural rhythm, routine automatically starts. I could probably do everything blindfolded guided by this rhythm, including picking clothes that fit and suit me better than I do currently with my eyes open!
“Its hard work, Ariel Yoga”.
Earlier this week I woke up, the rhythm commenced, everything was normal. At the train station a tube arrived straight away with seats available, which rarely happens! Once settled after a couple of stations I accidentally touched the tablet screen which revealed the time. If this had been a cartoon my eyes would have bulged, shot out of my head dangling on the ends of their optic nerves in a panic. The time was 7.00 am! It should have said 8.00 am! I looked at my phone; my electronic devices appeared to be ganging up on me. The clocks don’t change for a couple of weeks I thought! I was confused! My internal DJ suddenly changed the speed of the rhythm inside my mind speeding it up far too fast.
“You looking at me?”…
If anyone had looked up from what they were doing they would have observed a lardy woman wearing mismatched clothes looking very worried. At the time I woke up I could have sworn that my phone read the time expected, in fact it was a couple of minutes before the annoying alarm was due to sound. The station clock notified me that I was bang on time, or so I thought! It was only then I suddenly remembered hearing in my ear just before I fell unconscious the night before, that the radio show I normally wake up to was to start at 6.00 am! A hour earlier than normal. I felt robbed of those precious 3600 precious seconds that I could have spent in bed. Once I arrived at my location I headed straight to the coffee shop and slumped in a corner attempting to focus on the tablet. In fact, I was almost late for work due to relaxing for longer than normal. Maybe my young nephews and niece need to tech me how to read a bloody clock. The DJ in my mind has returned to playing the rhythm i lead my life to at the correct speed. Everything is back to normal, whatever normal is!
“Let us prey!”.
And Now For Something Completely Different……
“Always space for a moon shot”.
Last Friday evening it was Comic Relief, a charity I have supported since it started in 1985. Over the years I have bought comedy records (such as the first single Living Doll by “The Young Ones and Cliff”) mugs, t-shirts, bags and of course red noses. Hiding amongst my storage is a box of noses going all the way back to the when they were simple molded plastic which pinched the skin when worn. Over the years they have become larger and more elaborate (I have a gold one which I collected from Radio One’s reception, for a small donation).
“Comic Relief 2019 nose collection”.
The last couple of years the noses have been made of foam and bought in a small box. This year there were 9 to collect! With an additional 2, a rare (1 in 840 chances) and ultra-rare (1 in 8400 chance) ones to find. The day after the TV extravaganza when they announced that the total raised was £63,548,668. I was in a supermarket and saw boxes of unsold noses and wondered what happens to them. Are they recycled (do they biodegrade?) or is there an army of volunteers open them to find the special ones. My friend who I live must be pleased I don’t have any spare cash; she really wouldn’t want to come home and find her living room full of empty boxes and a mountain of foam noses as I try to find a special one (which probably wouldn’t be worth much in the future. Like the rest of my storage!). But that mountain would raise a lot for charity.
“Boxes of unsold red schnozzles. I wonder if a rare one was just waiting to be purchased”.
Talking of rising money, years ago people sat in a bath of beans. I would update this by being sponsored to sit in a bath of “Curry Pot Noodles”! What a tasty way to raise money for a good course. If anyone wants to sponsor me, please send your donations to…
“I’m going to be displaying this in the Tate later this year”.
Spoke to a Mrs Mccluskey, who I wanted to ask if she had a lot of children as her about Grange Hill in the late 70s, early 80s.
“Cute Hamster picture pose of the week”.
I witnessed a Women sit on a tube seat that had a single cashew nut resting on the material. It’s not funny but made me smile!
“Sunday later afternoon/early evening in North East London”.
While travelling to mum’s. Spoke to Martin a train driver about trains and Star Trek.
“Thanks Helen for the cuppa, while writing this shiz”.
My Mid Life Crisis Conts……
This week I have mainly been watching:
“After Life”, (S1, ep 5 to ep 6). “Being Human”, (S1, ep 3 & ep 4). “Click”, (TX: 16/03/19). “Cuckoo”, (S4, ep 3 & ep 6)(S5, ep 1 to ep 7). “Cunk On Britain”, (S1, ep 5, TX: 01/05/18). “Fleabag”, (S2, ep 3). “Inside The Factory”, (S4, ep 9, TX: 19/03/19). “Love Death & Robots”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 3). “Outnumbered”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 6)(S2, ep 1 to ep 7)(Crimbum 2009)(S3, ep 1 to ep 3). “Rick And Morty”, (S1, Pilot, ep 2 to ep 6). “Solo: A Star Wars Story”, (2018). “Star Trek: Discovery”, (S2, ep 10). “Storyville: The Internet’s Dirtiest Secrets: The Cleaners”, (TX: 19/03/19). “The Great Celebrity Bake Off For SU2C”, (S2, ep 3, TX: 19/03/19). “The Last Leg”, (S16, ep 8, TX: 15/03/19)(ep 9, TX: 22/03/19). “The Orville”, (S2, ep 11). “The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel”, (2015). “The Skeleton Of The Mary Rose: The New Evidence”, (TX: 17/03/19). “The Walking Dead”, (S9, ep 14). “This Time With Alan Partridge”, (S1, ep 4). “Top Gear”, (S26, ep 5, TX: 17/03/19).
This week I have mainly been listening to:
“Brian And Roger”, (S2, ep 7, 20/03 & ep 8, 22/03/19). “David Tennant Does A Podcast”, (S1, ep 8, 19/03/19). “Griefcast”, (ep 72, 20/03/19). “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (13/03, 19/03/19). “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (13/03, 14/03, 15/03, 16/03, 18/03/19). “In Poor Taste”, (ep 105,19/03/19). “How To Burn A Million Quid”, (Preview, 16/01/19)(S1, ep 1 & ep 2, 21/01/19). “LBC Podcast; Mystery Hour”, (14/03, 21/03/19). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (16/03, 22/03/19). “Rule Of Three”, (08/11/18). “Strange Times”, (ep 295, 08/03/19). “The Nick Abbot Habit”, (22/03/19). “Morrissey”, “The Devine Comedy”, “My Life Story”, “Echobelly”, “Skunk Anansie”, “MacAlmont & Butler”, “Midnight Oil”, “Christine And The Queens”, “Smiths”, “Kula Shaker”, “Moby”, “The KLF”, “R.E.M”, “The B52’s”.