Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East & West London and Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 214 Saturday 21^st until Thursday 27^th July 2018.

This week I did think about complaining about the continued heatwave that the UK is experiencing, but you know me I try to be positive in this blog and don’t like moaning.

  “What a fab set of pins on this little lady”.
 
This week something more important and personal has happened, my travelling companion of many thousands of miles, who also keeps me company at night, is acting up.  I would even say it’s ill.  My tablet! (What did you think I was talking about) is showing its age.  This device has been my rock; it’s kept me going when emotionally I was ready to jump into the Thames.  It was given to me as a gift two years ago and since then it has been used every day for news, entertainment and writing this shiz weekly.  This electronic wonder has really been very important in fighting the daily drudgery of work, it’s my anesthetic against the world.  For instance when travelling on the tube, I can slump in a corner (if I have a seat) and allow the moving images to numb my mind.  It also helps because as everyone knows Rule One of travelling in the capital is “never look at fellow passengers”, while Rule Two is “there is NOOOO…. rule two!”. 

  “A tube of PRIDE”.
 
At work during breaks or lunch the tablet helps block out the world allowing me to be quiet and wonder why my life appears to continually go wrong.  When lunchtime starts I plug in at my desk and continue listening to a podcast, then race down the high street dodging pushchairs, mobility scooters and drunks (some drunks are driving mobility scooters, while others push passed-out friends in pushchairs) to reach the coffee shop.  Once in the queue for my beverage (a word I really don’t like) the podcast is switched off and the film or TV prog I was watching will resume.  During that hour I am desperate to get maximum entertainment out of my free time away from the shackles of the office (reading this last paragraph make me realise A/ how strange I am, and B/ how VERY strange I am!).

  “Taking a driving lesson early morning on the Thames”.
 
The last couple of weeks the battery has started to show its age by not holding its power like it used to and, on other occasions, just dying.  I visited an “authorised” shop a couple of days ago.  Actually I never made it inside because I had to queue outside and be triaged by staff with smiles from ear to ear who decide if a customer is important enough to be allowed to cross the threshold.  The very smiley women basically told me what I expected her to say “you need to buy a new tablet”.   Leaving, what crossed my mind was, when did all employees in a shop wear an earpiece.  It’s normal for security or a manager to have one or at least a radio, but every member of staff in this branch (I peered in the window) appeared to be jacked in.  So I wonder if the smiley lady was being told what to say by a disembodied voice in a bunker full of screens, watching and vetting potential customer.  It was all very strange, all the staff walked around as if they worked for the security service (not that I’m paranoid!…. Who said that!).

  “I surprised little ones by jumping in this paddling pool, so refreshing”. 
 
The tablet and I are continuing to travelling daily, but due to its condition I now carry an external power pack and cable in my already heavy rucksack, plus I am always on the lookout for an old fashioned plug point.  So I don’t look suspicious in anyway in the current climate with a rucksack pulling out wires connected to electrical devices while looking around for power points!!!!

  “The heat was all to much for JBomb”.

 There may come a time when I have to dust off the kindle and read a downloaded book, or worse pick up a free morning paper trying to find something that’s interesting to take my mind of the journey.  The long term plan is to save up enough to buy an “all singing and dancing” shiny new tablet which will help take my mind off the drudgery of life while I watch drama and documentaries in which others are having a miserable time and trying to escape their lives.  I really know how to enjoy myself.

  “There are a lot of nerds near my work”.
 
If you would like to contribute to the above please send leaves, conkers or pieces of string to the following

BUY YOUR OWN TABLET YOU SILLY COW
52 Big Beaver
Olympus Mons
Llandudno
W12 8QT  

 “This kitty is a regular law breaker”.                                                                                                                                         

And Now For Something Completely Different…… 

 “Already very hot at 6.40am”.

As I said at the top of this ramble, and I wasn’t moaning honest!  It’s been incredibly hot this last week beating records from 1976. I joked to my niece and her friend that it was so hot they could fry an egg on paving stones.  It was only the next day I really thought about this, now they’re on school holidays I hope that they don’t try this.  I’m supposed to be a responsible adult.  Also I definitely don’t want them to try this before I get a chance. That just wouldn’t be fair!

And Finally……

  “Early morning Geek alert”.

BREAKING NEWS.

It’s rained…….. “Thank the Great Pumpkin!”

 “Writing this Shiz, with IBIZA goblets”.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“13 Reason’s Why”, (S1, ep 1 & ep 2).  “Click”, (TX: 21/07/18).  “Final Space”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 10).  “Friends”, (S1, ep 20 & ep 21).  “Hidden”, (S1, ep 8).  “Incredibles 2”, (2018).  “Japan’s Secret Shame”, (TX: 28/06/18).  “Mortimer & Whitehouse: Gone Fishing”, (S1, ep 6, TX: 25/07/18).  “Stath Lets Flats”, (S1, ep 4 & ep 5).  “Stupid Man, Smart Phone”, (S1, ep 4, TX: 22/05/16)(ep 5, TX: 29/05/16).  “The Crystal Maze”, (S5, ep 1, TX: 20/07/17).  “The Five Billion Pound Super Sewer”, (S1, ep 2, TX: 24/07/18).  “The Last Leg”, (S14, ep 5, TX: 20/07/18).  “The New Legend Of Monkey”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 10).  “Top Gear: Africa Special”, Pt1 (S19, TX: 03/03/13) Pt2, (TX: 10/03/13).  Top Gear: Bolivia Special”, (S14, ep 6, TX: 27/12/09).  “Top Gear: Burma Special”, Pt1 (S21, ep 6, TX: 09/03/14) Pt2, (ep 7, TX: 16/03/14).  “Top Gear: East Coast Special”, (S16, TX: 21/12/10).  “Top Gear: India Special”, (S18, TX: 28/12/11).  “Top Gear: Middle East Special”, (S16, TX: 26/12/10).  “Top Gear: Patagonia Special”, Pt1, (S22, TX 27/12/14) Pt2, (S22, TX:28/12/14).  “Top Gear: Vietnam Special”, (S12, ep 8, TX: 28/12/08).  “Trump: A Very British Welcome?”, (TX: 16/07/18)

This week I have mainly been listening to:  

“Anti Social Show”, (ep 55, 27/07/18).  “BBFC Podcast”, (ep 16, 15/11/13)(ep 44, 24/02/16)(ep 45, 24/02/16)(ep 46, 23/03/16).  “Brian Gittens And Friends”, (ep 41, 25/07/18).  “Grief Cast”, (ep 27, 14/03/18)(ep 47, 25/07/18).  “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (19/07, 20/07, 23/07, 24/07, 25/07/18).  “In Poor Taste”, (ep 54, 24/11/16)(ep 55, 12/12/16).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (26/07/18).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (21/07, 27/07/18).  “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 54, 20/07/18)(ep 55, 27/07/18).  “NASA: Rocket Ranch”, (ep 2, 25/07/18).  “Quick Question”, (S2, ep 2 (ep 16), 23/07/18).  “Skeptiod”, (ep 539, 17/10/17)(ep585, 22/08/17)(ep 587, 05/09/17)(ep 596, 07/11/17)(ep 633, 24/07/18).  “Morrissey”, “Olivia Newton John”, “The XX”, “Meatloaf”, “Rocky Horror Show OST”, “The Mammas & The Papas”, “Iggy Pop”, “Smiths”, “Air”, “Lorde”.