Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East & West London and Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).
Week 211 Saturday 30thJune until Thursday 5th July 2018.
This week’s blog is a little early because on Saturday morning in the wee hours I go away with family to Ibiza. If there is a good internet connection while away then next weeks blog week 212 should be published as normal. However I might make you wait until the weekend to read about how many times I embarrassed the family by throwing up on pavements and making them wish that they had not invited me.
And now for this week’s slightly shorter ramble.
“I really need this coming holiday, as you can see”.
As a small kid there were three things I really wanted, in no particular order they were.
Braces on teeth.
A plaster cast.
My thinking looking back was as follows (remember I was a child). Braces appeared cool on TV in the 70s (mainly US progs) and kids with glasses tended to look clever. While everyone loved to sign the plaster cast of a kid that had fallen out of a tree. During dental appointments I would push my bottom teeth forward, and deliberately misreading the letters at eye tests, however I never fooled the professionals. I also didn’t get the plaster cast. Now you can see why in some people’s eyes I’ve always been a failure.
“Someones ready for Ibiza”.
Last weekend I had an eye test, since the last one 2 years ago I haven’t noticed any deterioration in my vision. So I was a little surprised when the optician advised that I should start using glasses for reading, working on computers, watching my tablet and writing this shiz. I can’t lie but there was a moment of excitement, hopefully I didn’t give the game away by letting out an audible squeak of joy that at last I need glasses. This year I reach what many consider a milestone age, for me I am just amazed to have survived this long. But the fact that I have made it to this age without the need for specs when you consider the thousands of hours of TV and film viewed over those years amazes me. Isn’t the human body amazing?
Seriously I realise that needing glasses is not a good thing. It’s the start of a journey along the slippery slope of declining eyesight only confirming what I already knew, I am old.
“I couldn’t not eat it, could i!!!!”.
A little later I stood in front of row after row of plastic moulded frames, including ones that are “supposedly” designer which had the name of a singer or a supermodel stamped on them but in reality didn’t look any better than standard specs on display. Whatever I picked will be on the front of my face for at least the next couple of years so I needed to “choose wisely”. Each time I looked in the mirror I hoped that my reflection would look intelligent, it didn’t. Finally after all these years of being a geek, I might actually look like one. Is looking like a geek still cool, maybe I’m “on trend” for once. Of course if that phase of fashion has passed then I’m ready for my next kicking. I collect the glasses soon; I’ll let you know if they change my life. By the way if you were wondering, I don’t want a brace or a plaster cast anymore, there so 1970s.
It’s also been a week of change for my bowling friend Calamity (Who also reaches the same great age later this year). She noticed a little car for sale last week. Over the weekend she bought it. Soon there will be no stopping her as she travels up and the roads of Essex.
“Calamity and her new purchase”.
In conclusion, what have we learnt this week? I need glasses and my friend got a car. Who do you think got the better deal, answers on a postcard to the usual address?
c/o Mrs B J Smegma
Victoria Station Toilets
3rd rock from the Sun
“There have been some beautiful evenings this week”.
On a very packed train, a man’s tummy rumbled for a number of seconds very loudly. This made him apologies out loud, which made me chuckle on the inside on a already grim commuter morning.
“Writing this shiz, while counting my Euro’s for next week”.
My Mid Life Crisis Conts……
This week I have mainly been watching:
“Bottom”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 6). “Can’t Cope, Won’t Cope”, (S2, ep 1 & ep 2). “Click”, (TX: 30/06/18). “Flowers”, (S1, ep 6). “Friends”, (S1, ep 9 to ep 16). “Hidden”, (S1, ep 5). “Humans”, (S3, ep 3). “Monty Python before The Flying Circus”, (2000). “Monty Python Live At Aspen, (TX: 23/03/1998). “Mortimer & Whitehouse: Gone Fishing”, (S1, ep 3, TX: 04/07/18). “Parrot Sketch Not Included: Twenty Years Of Monty Python”, (TX: 18/11/1989). “Red Dwarf”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 6)(S2, ep 1 to ep 6)(S3, ep 1 to ep 6)(S4, ep 1 to ep 6). “Stath Let’s Flats”, (S1, ep 1 & ep 2). “The Graham Norton Show”, (S23, ep 13, TX: 29/06/18). “The Crystal Maze: Celebrity Special”, (S4, ep 4, TX: 29/06/18). “The Last Leg”, (S14, ep 2, TX: 29/06/18). “The Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers (Extended Edition)”, (2002). “The Misadventures Of Romesh Rangernathan”, (S1, ep 1, TX: 01/07/18).
This week I have mainly been listening to:
“Anti Social Show”, (ep 54, 29/06/18). “BBFC Podcast”, (ep 33, 18/09/15)(ep 34, pt 1, 29/05/15)(ep 34, pt 2, 12/10/15)(ep 36, 11/11/15)(ep 51, 02/06/16). “Chasing Earhart”, (ep 50, 01/07/18)(special 02/07/18). “Grief Cast”, (ep 28, 21/03/18)(ep 44, 04/07/18). “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (28/06, 29/06, 02/07, 03/07, 04/07/18). “In Poor Taste”, (ep 56, 24/12/16)(ep 57, 01/01/17). “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (05/07/18). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (30/06/18). “NASA: Gravity Assist”, (03/07/18). “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 51, 29/06/18). “NASA: In Silicon Valley”, (ep 97, 29/06/18). “NASA: Rocket Ranch”, (welcome, 20/06/18)(ep 1, 26/06/18). “Skeptiod”, (ep 586, 29/08/17)(ep 589, 19/09/17)(ep 597, 14/11/17)(advert 22/12/17)(ep 630, 03/07/18). “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 95, 02/07/18). “The Kimchi Chronicles”, (ep 21, 01/07/18). “Morrissey”, “Blur”, “Pulp”, “Oasis”, “Suede”, “PJ Harvey”.
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It is, I’ll drive it when I get back.
Have a great holiday lovey 😍 xx
Thanks Hun, it’s been a lovely week don’t want to return xx