Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in North, East and West London & Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).
Week 208 Saturday 9thJune until Friday 15thJune 2018.
Monday to Friday I sit in an office and talk on the phone which is ironic because in real life I prefer to text or email. I work in a “contact centre” that the posh name for a “call centre”, if people ask me how to describe such a place I say think of battery hens with headsets on.
“This train couldn’t decide if it was moving or not, i’m glad to say it moved”.
The job I do is not specialised, yes I have gained a lot of knowledge over the years but anybody could do it.
***DISCLAIMER “apologies to friends who do the same sort of job and might be reading” DISCLAIMER ENDS***.
“North London Bees were busy when i visited”.
Anyone with a little assistance, badly printed notes could do the job. However recently I have been asked to take calls for a couple of other services, after a couple of hours training I was let loose on the public. My knowledge or experience of these services is extremely limited, but I have a sheaf of notes plus others I have written which I can’t read due to my terrible handwriting.
“Londoners beautiful people”.
All I do for one of these extra services is book appointments because the caller doesn’t have access to the internet or can’t be bothered doing it for themselves. Anything more complicated gets transferred to the “back office”, which is easier said than done. When I do get through there are one or two officers who “tut” making it very clear that I am a Class A pain in the arse. It’s getting to the point where I think I should relocate to their office because I am ringing so often. Every time I speak to them a little piece of my soul breaks off and drifts away in the breeze of my cheap pink desk fan.
“I love Cake”.
I suspect this has a very negative tone, which I apologise about. Normally I do try to make this blog light hearted and occasionally funny, but during the last seven days real life has been toughs. I am looking for another job and fingers crossed over the summer someone will want me. The reason I am subjecting myself to this daily torture is so that I can return to Mozambique in early 2019. That’s what I have to remember when I have a tough call or am constantly being misgendered, that this is all being done for a good cause and will be worth it in the end.
“Spotted at work our motto”.
And Now For Something Completely Different……
When I start something I like to complete it, unfortunately I am talking about TV and film I enjoy. If only I was able to channel that energy into the multiple creative projects which I have started. At this stage in my Mid-Life crisis I have a completed children’s book and another story written with the paintings planned. There are a number of short and two longer scripts ready for someone to throw on a rejection pile, with others in different stages of development.
“Charity shop fun. Since when has 1995 become vintage”.
When it comes to TV and film I really am a completionist. Last week I finished watching all 731 episodes of “Star Trek” made between 1964 and 2018. This marathon view feast started in mid November 2017 mainly during the long commute to and from work but also at lunch time in my fave coffee shop. Of course I did sit on the sofa a lot at home on my lardy arse as well. Last week also saw the completion of re-watching all 177 episodes of “The Golden Girls” but this was with my friend Calamity over nearly a year and mainly at weekends so I don’t feel as guilty about that. This week I started re-watching all of “Monty Pythons Flying Circus” (a show I have loved since late70s early 80s, which really has influenced my humour and this blog) I desperately need a laugh on the train.
“Homegrown is always the best, says Anoodle”.
Things have to change; scripts and manuscripts need to be sent to people so I can embrace rejection. But because I am knackered due to work and the commute, it’s easier to watch episode after episode of a classic show. The creative side will always only be a side-line, it will never make real money allowing me to escape the grind of commuter hell. People tell me to be positive, that my work might be seen by the right person but that happens very rarely and not to people like me. There’s more chance of me watching and getting excited about some “kicky ball” things that’s taking over the TV schedules. Thank “The Great Pumpkin” that there are loads of downloads to watch. You never know this might get me off my spreading lardy cheeks and give my creative side the kick (pun intended) needed to send things to people.
“I know nothing about fashion, and neither did this lady (in my humble opinion)”.
If I become a success you’re all invited to the opening of my (delete as appropriate) gallery exhibition / book signing / film premier. The invites will be sent second class, all I ask is you don’t eat all the cheese and Marmite sandwiches because I’ll have slaved all night over them.
“Cheers to a better week next week”.
I saw the backs of Jason Watkins and Hugh Dennis heads, as they were filming round the corner from work.
“You really can see Jason Watkins and Hugh Dennis in this shot, honest”.
And Finally, Finally (Honest)……
(only a few people will understand this……. It’s really not important).
“Writing this shiz while Michael Palin eyes up my muffin”.
My Mid Life Crisis Conts……
This week I have mainly been watching:
“24hrs In Police Custody”, (S7, ep 2, TX: 28/05/18). “Boundin”, (2003). “Click”, (TX: 09/06/18). “Flowers”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 3). “Jack-Jack Attack”, (2005). “Lost In Space (2018)”, (S1, ep 5 to ep 10). “Missions”, (S1, ep 9). “Monty Python’s Flying Circus”, (S1, ep 1 to ep 13)(S2, ep 1 to ep 13)(S3, ep 1 to ep 3). “Springwatch 2018”, (ep 9, TX: 11/06/18)(ep 10, TX: 12/06/18)(ep 11 TX: 13/06/18)(ep 12 TX: 14/06/18). “Star Trek (TOS)”, (S1, ep 3 & ep 8). “The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo”, (2011). “The Graham Norton Show”, (S23, ep 10, TX: 08/06/18). “Tomorrow’s World: The Unearthly History Of Science Fiction”, (S1, ep 2, TX: 24/11/14). “The Crystal Maze: Celebrity Special”, (S4, ep 1, TX: 08/06/18). “The Incredibles”, (2004). “The Sky At Night”, (TX: 10/06/18).
This week I have mainly been listening to:
“BBFC Podcast”, (ep 47, 06/04/16)(ep 49, 09/05/16). “Brian Gittens And Friends”, (ep 38, 13/06/18). “Chasing Earhart”, (ep 47, 10/06/18). “Grief Cast”, (ep 10, 14/06/17)(ep 11, 10/07/17)(ep 41, 13/06/18). “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (11/06, 2x 13/06/18). “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (07/06, 09/06, 11/06, 12/06/18). “In Poor Taste”, (ep 60, 05/02/17). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (09/06, 15/06/18). “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 49, 15/06/18). “Skeptiod”, (ep 627, 12/06/18). “The Angelos And Barry Podcast”, (09/06, 11/06/18). “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 57, 14/06/18). “Young Free And Coupled”, (30/08/17). “Young Free And Coupled: Coupled Conversation”, (ep 002, 14/06/18). “Morrissey”, “The Divine Comedy”, “The Music Of Monty Python”, “Eric Idle”, “The Chemical Brothers (Hanna OST)”, “Tasmin Archer”, “The Foo Fighters”, “Oasis”.