Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in Essex, East and West London (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 206 Saturday 26^thMay until Friday 1^stJune 2018.

Spent a lovely day in deepest Essex with bowling chums “Lunge” and “Calamity”.  We weren’t bowling or to attend that weekends “Cider and Sausage festival” but ate lots of pub food and a couple of drinks.  Lunge may have been left worried, as I stated that Calamity had bulldozed her garden and converted it into a practice bowling alley.  Could this strategy affect her future game?  Thinking about this, I might have more success by putting chewing gum in the finger holes of her bowling ball.

  “An old pic of Lunge, Calamity and me”.  “Lunge and her excellent cross stitch”. 
 
The last weekend was the second bank holiday in a row when that hot yellow ball in the sky appeared.  As a result, a lot of people, including myself, decided to uncover bits that haven’t seen sunlight in months.  After seeing my reflection I’ve decided that I should learn to cover up.

 “Enjoyed a lot of pub grub”.

This leads me to bullies.  At the train station in the early evening, coming home we passed a couple of kids aged under 11 sitting on the bridge over the tracks.  As I stepped onto the platform a young voice shouted out “Oi, you in the pink shorts I’ll have you”.  I’m grateful for just being called “Oi” as over the years I have been called a lot worse by much scarier people.  This didn’t worry me; I turned to Calamity and said “you and who’s army?”.  I did wonder what he would have said if I had turned round.  Knowing my luck he could have been carrying a knife –  At the moment not a week goes by without yet another sad report of a stabbing in the capital – Or of course he could have laughed, smiled and just thrown something at me.  Alternatively he could have turned and ran away.  These days everyone has to be careful. 

 “It really was this hot in an Essex living room”.

It did make me wonder why he was hanging around on a pleasant Sunday evening sitting on a train station bridge.  Most children I know would be plugged in to a console or watching TV.  If he thinks he’s seen everything, I could definitely name a few classics that were banned when I was small.  Anyone who had a VHS of “The Evil Dead” or “Driller Killer” could demand any price for rental.

 “Sign, what sign”.

I was not upset that he shouted at me, in fact it was funny.  A huge part of me felt sorry for him and I did wonder what his life is like.  Of course he might have a wonderful, very happy life and was just hanging around with a friend.  But I can’t help thinking about that moment.

 “These are not my dirty knees”.

At least someone noticed my new pink shorts…

And Now For Something Completely Different……

Over the long weekend I visited “Belfast”, “Coventry”, “Perth” and “Swansea” without leaving the comfort of the sofa.  The BBC put on “Biggest Weekend”, 4 locations with about 120 acts (I did start counting but got distracted so it’s an approx figure).  The event was shown across BBC tv and radio, as well as online.

 “I was not impressed to find myself here, while on the way to work”.
 
Many of the acts I have been a fan of for years.  A couple were relatively new so this was the first time seeing them “live”.  I haven’t been to a festival in years, I have many happy blurred memories of sleeping in tents that were too short, cheap and nasty food, drinking out of plastic cups, horrible loos (desperately trying not to do a number two while there) and walking around all night wrapped in a blanket watching the sun come up with other zombiefied lost souls who for a few minutes you connect with and never see again.

 “I’m going to print this sign from a hand dryer.  As it’s how i feel everyday at work”.
 
These events must be the biggest congregations of people from different backgrounds, class and ethnicity all together for the same reason.  Watching some acts is almost like a religious experience…. I’m particularly thinking of Florence and the Machine.  Flo was the only person I saw that really interacted with the crowd; she could have asked them to have done anything.  Maybe that’s why so many singers / groups go nuts as the power goes to their heads.

  “Waiting at the Dr, there was plenty to do”. 

Of course I enjoyed all the acts I saw –  there are a couple that I still need to watch which are downloaded – but my faves were,  in no particular order, “The Breeders”, ”Courtney Barnett”, “Simple Minds” however it’s “Florence and the Machine” who stole the show.

 “Happy B’day to my brother this week”.

Over the years I’ve enjoyed many festivals while sitting on the sofa “Glasto”, “Reading” or “V”…. but you can’t beat actually being there…experiencing the sound live, the crowd and the terrible smell of the chemical loos.  Thinking about it, maybe sitting on the sofa is better.

  “I’m ready for Solo, with a few snacks”.

Is this the right time to admit I watched one “Taylor Swift” song?  It’s the song my niece and I dance to.  Honest, it was only the one song.
 
And Finally…… 

The neighbour brought round some mocktails he had made.  What a sweet gesture.

 “Its the truth”.

 A friend I won’t name (was named earlier) said, when talking about blister plasters, called them “blaster pisters”.

 “Writing this shiz, it’s an umbrella honest”.

Special thanks again to TR for grammar help this week.

My Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“BBC Music: Biggest Weekend”: “Courtney Barnett”, “Franz Ferdinand”, “Manic Street Preachers”, “The Breeders”, (TX: 25/05/18).  “Ash”, “Chvrches”, “First Aid Kit”, “Neneh Cherry”, “Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds”, “Simple Minds”, “Soak”, (TX: 26/05/18).  “Christine And The Queens”, “Florence And The Machine”, “Snow Patrol”, Taylor Swift”, (TX: 27/05/18).  “Click”, (TX: 26/05/18).  “Have I Got News For You”, (S55, ep 9, TX: 01/06/18).  “High & Dry”, (S1, ep 5).  “Humans”, (S3, ep 3).  “Later…. With Jools Holland (Live)”, (S52, ep 2, TX: 20/05/18)(ep 3, TX: 22/05/18)(ep 4, TX: ep 4, 29/05/18).  “Missions”, (S1, ep 5 & ep 6).  “NASA Triumph And Tragedy: One Small Step”, (ep 1, TX: 24/06/09)(ep 2, TX: 01/07/09).  “Peter kay’s Carshare”, (S2, ep 4)(The Final, TX; 28/05/18).  “Solo: A Star Wars Story”, (2018).  “Springwatch 2018”, (ep 1, TX: 28/05/18)(ep 2, TX: 29/05/18)(ep 3, TX: 30/05/18)(ep 4, TX: 31/05/18).  “Star Trek (ENT)”, (S4, ep 5 to ep 22).  “The Golden Girls”, (S7, ep 11 & ep 12).  “The Graham Norton Show”, (S23, ep 8, TX: 25/05/18).  “The Sky At Night Guide: 2 Galaxies”, (TX: 24/05/18).

This week I have mainly been listening to:

“Chasing Earhart”, (ep 45, 27/05/18).  “Grief Cast”, (ep 29, 28/03/18)(ep 39, 30/05/18).  “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (29/05/18).  “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (25/05, 28/05, 29/05, 31/05).  “In Poor Taste”, (ep 61, 15/02/17).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (26/05, 27/05/18).  “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 46, 25/05/18).  “NASA: In Silicon Valley”, (ep 8, 14/09/16)(ep 44, 14/06/17)(Bonus16/06/17)(ep 92, 25/05/18)9ep 93, 01/06/18).  “Skeptiod”, (ep 581, 25/07/17)(ep 582, 01/08/17)(ep 625, 25/05/18).  “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 91, 25/05/18).  “Strange Times”, (ep 264, 26/05/18).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 55, 31/05/18).  “Morrissey”, “The Breeders”, “Throwing Muses”, “Manic Street Preacher”, “Courtney Barnett”, “Ash”, “Erasure”, “Deee-Lite”, “The Killers”.