Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East and West London, Surrey & Northamptonshire (The NEXT Chapter).
Week 204 Saturday 12thMay until Friday 18thMay 2018.
Over the last few months I have noticed that an invasion is taking place. It doesn’t matter what shop you visit you will find them. Look in any window display and they can be seen staring out looking cute with the power to melt even the coldest heart. When walking around, scan the shelves you will see them printed on clothes, shoes, cuddly toys of all sizes just waiting to be hugged. They can be seen on and in books, colouring books, DVD’s and CD’s, models that you have to paint or ready made ones finished just waiting for you to love them. You can buy sweets and food in the shape of them, there are even packets of small colourful jellies which are described as this creatures poo. A friend recently bought me a small key ring which when squeezed has a bubble pop out from its arse. Over the last few months not a day has gone by without me seeing a number of them.
Unicorns are taking over; open your eyes and you will see these magical creature everywhere. If you have children then chances are you have either bought one or you’ve had to prize your child away as your little darling squeezes the stuffing out of a horned pony that caught there gaze. 2018 is the year of the Unicorn.
“Looks so relaxing travelling on the river in the morning”.
Everybody love a Corny, people smile when they see these magical beast. Maybe that’s what the world needs at this time. The news at the moment appears so sad, perhaps Unicorns should be handed out to the entire population be too loved, hugged and squeeze. Early morning tube passengers could cuddling or use there unicorn as a pillow to dribble on instead of the shoulder of the next person. Office workers who sit and dream their lives away watching clouds drift past could have a corny on their desk to stroke or just lovingly look at.
“Future Clouting family heirlooms”.
This invasion could actually save the planet. There are a number of hot headed world leaders (you know the ones I am talking about) who stand and beat their chests threatening to blow each other and us off the face of the planet. Maybe the answer is to give them all a Unicorn, when they meet at these huge summits things might be more cordial if everyone was holding there horned pony of choice. Maybe a Unicorn might calm them down and generally ease tension around the world. Useless celebrities who have nothing better to do then continue to point out how rich and wonderful there life is might leave us all alone if they had a Unicorn to concentrate on.
“Free sweet, oh by the timetable is changing”.
Unicorns have been around for a long time and will continue to enthrall for generations to come. I am certainly a fan of these magical majestic creatures and wish they were real. But this invasion, fad can’t last. I for one am hoping that 2019 will be the year of the Dung Beetle invasion. Those unsung heroes of deserts, grassland and savannas need more love and recognition. Let’s start the Dung Beetle invasion right now….
“I wont say who got off at the wrong stop”.
Now For Something Completely Different……
“I saw a monster in the lid of my yogurt”.
I listen a lot of podcast, look at the bottom of this ramble for a list of the ones enjoyed over the last seven days.
This week one of the pods I enjoyed was the latest Adam Buxton episode (https://soundcloud.com/adam-buxton) in which he chats with screenwriter Charlie Brooker. Walking down the highstreets towards work I almost lost all control of my body because I was laughing so much; tears were streaming down my face. There was a moment when I had to stop and hold on to a bollard to steady myself.
“Such a lovely colour”.
Because this was rush hour there were a lot of people passing in the opposite direction, to them I probably looked like an old fashioned village idiot laughing and smiling to herself oblivious of the outside world. I mentioned I almost lost control of myself, that right I nearly wet because the podcast was so funny. As the tears cleared I noticed a man pass with a smile on his face. This was the boss of my entire department. As a rule I try not to worry what others think of me anymore, but that morning I really must have looked at a mess.
“Made a friend while waiting for my drink”.
As soon as I arrived in the office the first thing I did was send him an email, trying to explain. He replied back saying he thought I was enjoying something funny and totally understood. I wonder if that would have been a good excuse to have gone home, “Sorry I can’t come to work, I pissed myself listening to Adam Buxton and Charlie Brooker”. Such a funny episode, just be careful where you listen to it.
Heard women say “sometimes they swing both way”. I assume she was talking about the door she had been pushing when she needed to pull.
Spoke to a Tina ringing up for a Nina, it made me laugh first thing on a Monday.
“Writing this shiz, high on sugar”.
My Mid Life Crisis Conts……
This week I have mainly been watching:
“Are You Being Served”, (S3, ep 3). “Back To The Land With Kate Humble”, (S2, ep 1, TX: 08/05/18)(ep 2, TX: 09/05/18). “B.F.G”, (2017). “Click”, (TX: 12/05/18). “Comedy Shorts: Sara Pascoe vs Monogamy”, “Wonderdate”, The Mind Of Herbert Chunderdunk”, Nick Helm: The Killing Machine”, (TX: 12/05/18). “Constantine”, (S1, ep 1). “Dads Army”, (S7, ep 4). “Hi-De-Hi”, (S2, ep 3)(S6, ep 2). “Humans”, (S2, ep 8)(S3, ep 1). “Kiss Me First”, (S1, ep 6). “Missions”, (S1, ep 1 & ep 2). “Neanderthal: Meet Your Ancestors”, (S1, ep 1, TX: 13/05/18). “Pebble Mill At One: Doctor Who Special”, (TX: 1973). “Safe”, (S1, ep 2). “Star Trek (ENT)”, (S2, ep 1 to ep 26)(S3, ep 1 & ep 2). “The Grand Tour”, (S2, ep 11, TX: 16/02/18). “The Sky At Night”, (13/05/18).
This week I have mainly been listening to:
“Chasing Earhart”, (ep 43, 13/05/18). “Don’t Quit Your Daycast”, (ep 26, 11/09/12). “Grief Cast”, (ep 9, 31/05/17)(ep 12, 29/11/17). “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (11/05, 16/05/18). “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (10/05, 11/05, 14/05, 15/05, 16/05/18). “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (17/05/18). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (12/05, 18/05/18). “NASA: In Silicon Valley”, (ep 6, 31/08/16)(08/05/17)(ep 35, 20/04/17). “Skeptiod”, (ep 577, 27/06/17)(ep 579, 11/07/17)(ep 598, 21/11/17)(ep 609, 06/02/18)(ep 610, 13/02/18)(ep 611, 20/02/18)(ep 612, 27/02/18)(ep 617, 03/04/18)(ep 623, 15/05/18). “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 89, 16/05/18). “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 76, 13/05/18). “Morrissey”, “Artic Monkeys”, “Pulp”, “Gorillaz”, “The Seedy Seeds”, “Prince”, “Goldfrapp”, “The Prodigy”, “Faithless”, “Courtney Barnett”, “Anthony Newley (Goldfinger)”.
I love unicorns