Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in Surrey, East and West London (The NEXT Chapter).
Week 202 Saturday 28thApril until Friday 4thMay 2018.
Last weekend Aunty MOZ and I looked after Anoodle and Jbomb. One highlight was a spontaneous trip to a local craft centre where the kids painted pottery money boxes. When I was at senior school each term my class would concentrate on metal work, wood work or pottery all of which I enjoyed. My parents had read the parenting rulebook and always put on that special smile when presented with shiz I had made.
“Enjoyable messy fun on a rainy Sunday”.
I hope in the future the kids (including my brother’s boys) will get the chance at school to do pottery, wood and metal work. However the way things are going it could all be virtual, which would please parent due to lack of mess but would never be as much fun for the kids. Children need to get messy sometimes.
“These works of art are priceless”.
During the painting Jbomb noticed that there were lollypop’s for sale. This is when MOZ and I became “Good Aunty “and “Bad Aunty”. Children love sweets and have to be told occasionally that they can’t have them. However “Good Aunty” gave in which didn’t impress “Bad Aunty” (for the record Aunty MOZ is great with the kids, it’s a nickname honest) I am far too soft and the kids know this. My thinking behind caving in was if he had the lolly then he would want to finish his painting. Of course he wasn’t hungry; he had eaten well that day, he saw the lolly’s and wanted a lolly. As soon as he was holding the confectionary he disappeared under the table saying “I’ll save that for when I get home” making it clear he was finished being arty. I need to be more “Bad Aunty” on occasions like that; they can’t have everything all the time.
“Anoodle putting Aunty MOZ in her place”.
Hopefully those money boxes will become family heirlooms passed down to future members of the family. Let’s hope that my sister and hubby have read the parenting e-rulebook and have that special smile ready when they are presented with their little darling’s works of art.
Now For Something Completely Different……
“Good Aunty and Bad Aunty”.
After a few months laziness, I have started swimming again. When I leave the office all I can think about is getting to the pool as quickly as possible. My heart sinks when I arrive and there is only one person on the desk at such a busy time. From other people’s body language it’s not just me that’s frustrated while queueing. Often the problem is one customer might be filling in multiple forms or asking 20 questions about the pool and other facilities. From the queue I am able to see the turnstiles that lead to the pool area which most of the time there open. There is nothing stopping me from strolling through like other people. But I stand there and wait my turn even though I’m in a hurry. The quicker I swim, the sooner I will be home and in bed. But if I did make a rush for the barriers I can guarantee I would be stopped and banned for life.
No matter how posh the pool is the changing rooms are always grubby and grotty. I desperately try not to touch the floor with bare feet, and would rather swim bursting for the loo and use the toilets afterward on dry side. If anything, wanting a wee makes me swim faster, however this means I have to concentrate harder on counting the number of lengths completed. Knowing my luck, if I did wee in the pool that urban myth which states that the water would turn a strange colour would come true.
“Someone at work was very hungry”.
One thing that really annoys me are lockers. After changing I walk around in my cozzie, carrying bags, wearing shoes looking all “beached bloated ready” trying to find a locker with a key in the door. The thought of that image really disturbs me, so I don’t want others to see it. Time after time I open a door and find belongings which someone has left while they swim. It costs a pound to lock the lockers which you get this back when you reopen the door.
“Travelling to work like this would be so peaceful”.
I love to swim, but the stress doesn’t end when my big toe touches the water. That’s when “pool rage” takes over after I see how busy the lane is full of slow people bobbing around like ice bergs.
“Early May, early evening”.
This week I felt like a child being praised because potty training had gone well, there had not been a steaming pile left on the carpet.
“Spotted a da Vinci on the tube”.
My boss came over to congratulate me on the fact that in April I was late once. The reason I was only late once is because I am now getting up well before sparrow fart due to the terrible train service in the capital.
“late night visit to the village hall”.
Yes earlier this week I had an adult (younger than me) stand over me saying how well I had done. It wasn’t a great way to start a week or a new month if I’m honest things can only get better. Unless I am late that is.
“Writing this shiz, on the move”.
My Mid Life Crisis Conts……
This week I have mainly been watching:
“Click”, (TX: 28/04/18). “Cunk On Britian”, (S1, ep 5, TX: 01/05/18). “Have I Got News For You”, (S55, ep 5, TX: 04/05/18). “Home From Home”, (S1, ep 2 & ep 3). “Kiss Me First”, (S1, ep 5). “Lego Star Wars: The Freemaker Adventures”, (S1, ep 5). “Oliver”, (1968). “Paddington 2”, (2017). “Rampage”, (2018). “Star Trek (TNG)”, (S4, ep 18). “Star Trek (VOY)”, (S6, ep 18 to ep 26)(S7, ep 1 to ep 21). “The Crystal Maze”, (S8/S2, ep 3 , TX: 29/04/18). “The Graham Norton Show”, (S23, ep 4, TX: 27/04/18). “The Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring”, (2001). “Top Gear”, (S7, ep 7, TX: 12/02/06)(S10, ep 4,TX: 04/11/07). “Thunderbirds Are Go”, (S3, ep 5). “Waffle The Wonderdog”, (S1, ep 13).
This week I have mainly been listening to:
“Brian Gittens And Friends”, (ep 36, 27/04/18). “Chasing Earhart”, (ep 41, 28/04/18). “Grief Cast”, (Bonus ep, 08/04/18)(ep 32, 11/04/18)(ep 35, 02/05/18). “Iain Lee (Bonus)”, (03/05/18). “Iain Lee (Highlights)”, (30/04, 01/05, 02/05/18). “In Poor Taste”, (ep 96, 28/04/18). “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (03/05/18). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (28/04, 04/05/18). “NASA: Gravity Assist”, (02/05/18). “NASA: Houston We Have A Podcast”, (ep 42, 27/04/1809ep 43, 04/05/18). “NASA: In Silicon Valley”, (ep 88, 27/04/18). “Skeptiod”, (ep 574, 06/05/17)(ep 575, 13/06/17)(ep ep 580, 18/07/17)(ep 591, 03/10/17)(ep 592, 10/10/17)(ep 594, 24/10/17)(ep 621, 01/05/18). “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 87, x30/04/18). “Strange Times”, (ep 256, 24/04/18)(ep 257, 25/04/18)(ep 258, 26/04/18)(ep 259, 27/04/18)(ep 260, 28/04/18). “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 74, 28/04/18). “The Aggy Fox Podcast”, (ep 31, 30/04/18). “The Angelos And Barry Show”, (30/04/18). “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 52, 03/05/18). “Morrissey”, “Transvision Vamp”, “Babybird”, “Adam And The Ants”, “ABBA”, “Suede”, “Pulp”, “Supergrass”, “Blur”.