Week 156, Saturday 10th until Friday 16th June 2017.

Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East London, Essex & Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 156 Saturday 10th June until Friday 16th June 2017.


I am finally a useful member of society, I have a job.  Monday to Friday between 8am & 4pm you won’t find me aimlessly wondering around east London any more.  Instead I can be found in a busy office with terrible air con.  The building has a number of automatic doors which swing outwards, not inwards as the majority of doors I’ve encountered.  I have been in the office a few days now and am still receiving body strikes or swipes to the upper arm; I’m convinced that there trying to take me out.  Luckily everyone in the office is far too busy staring at Facebook to notice.

20170614_074113 20170615_124534 My new office.  I’m going to have one of those new chairs, when no ones looking. 

I feel like the new kid at a new school, the new geeky kid who doesn’t know anyone or really what’s going on.  As time passes I will get used to the job and my colleague with me.  But at this time everything is so new and a little exciting.  That’s not something someone says about working office very often.  Give me a week and I’ll be bored and hate the job like everyone else.  But I need the money, in the back of my mind I need to think that every week I get a little closer to returning to Mozambique.  Also, I’m not stuck in the office for life unlike the rest of my colleagues, there’s an end in sight.

20170613_132531 Writing this shiz.

And Now For Something Completely Different…… 

Have you had an imaginary friend, as a child I created worlds within worlds while playing but I never had an imaginary friend.  I mention this as there have recently been two occasions when I really questioned myself if I have one.

IMG_0675 IMG_0726 Calamity and Lunge, planning there attack.

A couple of days ago I was on a train journey into deepest Essex for a bowling rematch with Lunge (her bowling name).  I was travelling with my best friend Calamity (her bowling name) which is fitting as she currently a broken foot.  We needed to get ticket extensions, so it made scene for me to do this because I can get up the stairs quickly.  Within a couple of minutes, I was holding our tickets and was back on the platform.  Immediately I scanned the faces of the people around, none of them were my friend.  After walking the entire length of the platform, I couldn’t see Calamity anywhere.

IMG_0684 IMG_0736 Playing the sympathy card.

A train pulled away from the next platform; once it had left I looked at all the faces on the other side.  Once again none of these were my limping friend.  This was when I started to question whether my friend was imaginary, had a 27-year friendship really happened.  Rationally I know that this was stupid, but standing there I did have to ask myself what was real.  How can a woman on crutches vanish within the space of a couple of minutes?

IMG_0653 Lunge means business.

I have read that everyone sees the world differently, no two-people see exactly the same thing in the same way, I find this fascinating.  There are scientists who believe our reality could actually be a computer programme.  This can’t be true because, if I were made up of “1’s and 0’s” then surly I would look like Carrie Anne Moss from the Matrix films.  If reality is a computer programme, I’d quite like someone to pull out the plug of the supercomputer when there passing as this might give us all a well-deserved rest.

20170612_161634 20170612_161640 Who’s with stupid.

Striding back down platform I must have looked a little suspicious checking each face out closely.   It was then I pulled out my phone and sure enough there are a couple of entries for my bowling friend, therefore she must be real.  I dialled and waited as I listened to the ringtone.  Deep down I was getting a little concerned about my friend on crutches.

20170612_104907 She wont get far without these.

While I walked and waiting for my phone to be answered, I suddenly became aware that at the other of the platform (the end I originally started at) there was a smiling face holding a phone in one hand and a pair of crutches with the other.  My missing friend stood under a large sign pointing the way to a lift.  It turned out that Calamity had been riding the lift up and down during the time I was questioning her existence.

IMG_0784 IMG_0788 Late Friday evening snack.

This experience has taught me two-important life lessons. 1/ Look out for large information signs, they have been placed to make life easy.  2/ Take my friends crutches away, that way she can’t stumble far.

20170611_174553-1 Springwatch in the garden.

Maybe one day I’ll manage to find an imaginary friend, I hope we get on.

IMG_3024 IMG_3023 Waterboarding has never been so much fun.

And Finally……

Overheard a woman to friend say “what a porker” as she was opening a box of cake.

IMG_3021 IMG_3020 Only one of us was still dressed in work clothes.

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  

“Britain’s Greatest Invention”, (TX: 15/06/17).  “Buffy The Vamprie Slayer”, (S5, ep 1 to ep 3).  “Cabin’s In The Wild With Dick Strawbridge”, (S1 ep 3 & 4).  “Click”, (TX: 10/06/17).  “Detectorist”, (S1, ep 5).  “Doctor Who”, (S36/S10, ep 9).  “Election Spy”, (ep 9).  “Engineering Giants”, (ep 3).  “Horizon: Cyber Attack-The Day The NHS Stopped”, (TX: 12/06/17).  “Horizon: Secrets Of The Solar System”, (2014/15: ep 8 ).  “Koko: The Gorilla Who Talks To People”, (TX: 15/06/17).  “Life Swap Adventure”, (S1, ep 3).  “Loaded”, (S1, ep 6).  “Paula”, (ep 2 & ep 3).  “Planet Oil: The Treasure That Conquered The World”, (TX: 10/02/15).  “Queer Britain”, (S1, ep 6).  “Springwatch 2017”, (ep ep 9 to ep 12).  “Springwatch Unsprung 2017”, (ep 6 to ep 10).  “Storm Troupers: The Fight To Forecast The Weather”, (ep 1).  “The Girls Who Talked To Dolphins”, (TX: 17/06/17).  “The Graham Norton Show”, (S21, ep 10).  “The Last Leg: Elegtion Special”, (S11, ep 4).  “The Last Leg: Re-United Kingdom”, (S11, ep 5).  “The Sky At Night”, (TX: 11/06/17).           

This week I have mainly been listening to:   “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (09/06 x2, 12/06 x2, 13/06/17 x 2).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (07/06, 09/06, 12/06, 13/06/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Offcuts)”, (07/06/17).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (08/06/17).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (11/06, 16/06/17)“Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 44, 13/06/17).  “Strange Times”, (ep 225, 02/06/17)(ep 133, 08/09/15)(ep 132, 07/09/15).  “The Nick Abbot Habit”, (ep 8, 16/06/17).  “These People Podcast”, (ep 27, 10/06/17).  “Morrissey”,  “The Killers”,  “The White Stripes”,  “The Couteeners”,  “Elbow”,  ”Ash”,  “Sophie B Hawkins”,  “Christine And The Queens”,   “Biffy Clyro”, “The Manic Street Preachers”.    










































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