Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East & South London, & Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 151 Saturday 6^th May until Friday 12^th May 2017.

I am fully aware that I exist at probably the greatest period in all of humanity.  That I walk around with amazingly thin technology, which can answer everything and anything I want to know, with technology like this even I appear to be a genius.  Information is absorbed by the poor excuse for grey matter in my skull which is instantly forgotten, resulting in exercising my fingers to retype the question.

   Feeling relaxed after a great session of Ariel Yoga. 

My favourite piece of technology if you were to ask me (pause for you to ask me).  Would be Voyager 1 & 2 launched by NASA in 1977 (I remember it well).  Those plucky spacecraft’s are still working while speeding out of our solar system and sending back valuable data.  Voyager 1 is responsible for my favourite picture “the pale blue dot“.  All of humanity past and present, everything that humans have ever know and taken for granted is seen as a tiny insignificant pale blue dot a pixel wide.

 This was taken by Voyager 1 on 14 February 1990 from a distance of 3.7 billion mile.  Earth is the dot half way up the brown band on the right. (C) NASA 1990. 

Technology hasn’t been my friend this week.  I listen to podcasts, watched TV and write this shiz on a tablet produced by a company that has a name which makes them sound like a piece of fruit.  Of course I have an understanding how a machine so thin works, this is because it’s filled with very small ants that run around on treadmills making the images move on the screen, or at least I think that’s how it works.  Most of the week as I have wondered around London feeling lost due to being unemployed, a disembodied female transatlantic voice has constantly disturbed me saying she can’t help because ‘I’m not connected to the Internet.  The more I have heard the voice the more annoyed I got and the more I found myself swearing and muttering under my breath hoping that will make things better, which of course it didn’t.

  A film crew were filming at the pool.  I haven’t seen a Lolly Pop Lady for a long time.

I did pop in to a shop in which all the staff wore ear pieces as if they were members of the US secret service.  As the expert was telling me have I thought of using a pair of headphones, I found my mind wondering.  What are they all listening to, are they all wired to the cloud and are being told what to say; maybe this really is the future.  I’m not an expert, but I suspect that headphones have nothing to do with this annoying voice appearing in my head.  The nice expert helped save all my rubbish and reset the factory settings, fingers crossed that the voice won’t bother me again.  If that doesn’t work I’ll change my medication.

  Up the Elephant round the castle.

And Now For Something Completely Different….(or maybe not).

  London Bridge and Essex.

This week I have been applying for jobs which is not a quick thing to do.  In prehistoric day’s all I used to have to do was fill in an application form on paper or online, maybe also send in a CV.  But now there are questionnaire’s and test’s where for instance you have to say “most likely to do“, “least likely to do” about multiple scenario.  It took me an hour and a half to fill in one application for a job that paid just above minimum wage for a multi-million pound entertainment company.  Very early next morning I received notification that I didn’t fit the criteria.  I suspect my application didn’t go near a human being.  Maybe computers are really taking over the world.

 I saw this van and thought of Darth Vader..

Because I was in the thicko at school when computers arrived in the early 80s they wouldn’t allow us near them.  The closest I got was looking through the window and watching the clever kids skiving off from real learning.  My best friend would spend hours in his bedroom typing line after line on his ZX81, loading cassette with programs for games that looked terrible even then.  I’m a huge sci-fi fan and love fantasy computers, but real life ones have never compared, if I’m honest until recently they just bored me.  I suspect it’s a little late to really fully understand them; I’ll sit back and let the tiny Ants inside continue to aid and entertain me.

  Loving street art.

I’ll keep applying for work, filling in stupid questionnaires and hoping that a real life, living and breathing organic entity might see my application and think “she might be worth try”.

 Look up you don’t know what you might be missing.

And In Other News….

  Went for an audition fingers crossed.

Helped take my niece to gymnastics.  All of the children went upstairs, but the noise from above sounded like a heard of baby Elephants stamping around having fun.  All the parents and caregivers sat bored staring at tablets and phones wishing they were somewhere else.

 Writing this Shiz.

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  “Are There Fascists Next Door”, (TX: 08/05/17).  “Born To Kill”, (S1, ep 3 & ep 4).  “Buffy The Vampire Slayer”, (S4, ep 6 to 11).  “Can’t Cope, Won’t Cope”, (S1, ep 2).  “Click”, (TX: 29/04 & 06/05/17).  “Dara & Ed’s Road To Mandalay”, (ep 1).  “Doctor Who”, (S36/S10, ep 4).  “Have I Got News For You”, (S53, ep3).  “Loaded”, (S1, ep 1).  “Locked Up (Vis a Vis)”, (S2, ep 11 to 19).  “Morocco To Timbuktu: An Arabian Adventure”, (S1, ep 1).  “Murder In Successville”, (S3, ep 4).  “Our Friend Victoria”, (S1, ep5 & ep 6).  “Panarama: What Facebook Knows About You”, (TX: 08/05/17).  “Tea With Mrs C”, (05/05/17).  “The Graham Norton Show”, (S21,  ep 5).  “The Island With Bear Grylls”, (S4, ep 3).  “The Last Kingdom”, (S2, ep 8).  “The Truth About Sleep”, (TX: 11/05/17).     

This week I have mainly been listening to:  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (01/05 no3, 05/05, 09/05, 10/05/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus Extra)”, (04/05/17).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (04/05, 05/05, 08/05, 09/05, 10/05/17).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (11/05/17).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (05/05, 06/05, 12/05/17).  “Scroobius Pip, Distraction Pieces”, (ep 150, 10/05/17). “Strange Times”, (ep  202, 14/11/16) (ep 201, 11/11/16) (ep 200, 04/11/16) (ep 199, 30/10/16) (ep 198, 20/10/16) (ep 197, 07/10/16) (ep 196, 30/09/16) (ep 195, 23/09/16) (ep 194 & ep 193, 16/09/16) ( ep 192, 02/09/16) (ep 191, 30/08/16) (ep 190, 26/08/16).  “Strange Times, ExratCRAP”, (ep 36, 17/09/16).  “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 43, 11/05/17).  “The Chattering Classes”, (ep 32, 26/05/16) (ep 36, 07/05/17).  “The Rabbit Hole”, (ep 14, 11/05/17).  “These People Podcast”, (ep 22, 06/05/17) “Morrissey”, “The B52’s”,  “Kasabian”,  “Blondie”,  “Gorillaz”,  ”Muse”, “Deee-Lite“,  “Placebo”.