Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East & Central London, Surrey & Hertfordshire (The NEXT Chapter).
Week 142 Saturday 4th March 2017 until Friday 10th March 2017.
Looking at a picture of me you wouldn’t associate the word “exercise” as something I partake in. Over the years I have done more than my fair share of running, swimming and cycling. However due to my old knees I have had to stop running, which if I am honest was always punishing but there was a satisfying feeling about finishing. The last couple of years my knees have been making what I regard as unusual noises, though the doctor said there is “nothing to worry about”, maybe I should get a second opinion. But I inhabit this bag of old saggy skin the knees don’t feel right, as a result I have stopped punishing myself.
Warning, Warning, Warning, the mutants have arrived.
I really enjoy swimming; any chance to get in the water is a joy. But due to a deep guttural cough over the last 5 weeks i haven’t been, thinking it was not a good idea to get wet. This week I decided to dip my toe back in the strangely sweet smell of chlorinated water. Over the years I have witnessed some horrible sites floating around. One of the worst was a turd, on another occasion a nappy, a number of sanitary product have been seen sinking into the gloom of the deep end. A large number of plasters have drifted past me closely followed by hairballs floating on the surface. Yes I have really seen these horrors, and swam around them and in some case got out of the pool as quickly as possible hoping that my vaccinations are up to date. Thinking of these reminded me about a hidden pool horror.
This is what you think it is, my nose can confirm that fact.
I recently read an article on The Guardian online which reported about a study in Canada that had looked at the amount of urine found in two pools over a three week period. The results found that 75 litres of wee, enough to fill a medium sized bin into a pool one third the size of an Olympic pool had been found. The article also stated that 19% of adults admitted to peeing in a swimming pool at least once. The biggest culprits it seems are professional swimmers. Wee it said is sterile, but there are compounds that over time being exposed to regularly could be a health issue. This wouldn’t affect normal swimmers, but pool workers and professional swimming could be at risk. So if you’re a pro swimmer or know one then tell them that if they want to look after their health they better not P in the workplace.
I wonder if something got out from the inside, or in from the outside. More mutant behavior, witnessed this week.
This did get me thinking. I will admit that I have once or twice over my long life accidentally tinkled in a municipal pool. Other times I have been busting but carried on doing lengths until I could make it the loo afterwards. I will also admit to Peeing a few times when scuba diving, there is a slightly strange satisfying feeling weeing in a wetsuit (my own I should point out not a rental) at depth. I think only divers will know the feeling of the warmth of your waste mixing with the chill of salt water around you. Having worked at a dive centre I can confirm that a lot of visiting scuba divers do pollute the ocean and rental wetsuit’s regularly need cleaning with disinfectant. Considering how we humans have affected the delicate marine ecosystem with chemicals, plastic and other rubbish. Maybe we should start worrying about the amount of pee in the sea. I might just add I have seen a number of fish wee and poo while I dived around them. One of the most memorable was a baby dolphin who as it passed me did a very large poo. Instead of being shocked, upset I smiled behind my snorkel thinking how many of my friends have witnessed a sight like this.
Anoodle channeling that early 80s NYC look, what do you think Rogers.
Back to the local pool, next time I go I really need to keep my mouth shut and if I see any unusual clouds floating around I will do my best to avoid them. When I was a kid we were told that the life guards could tell if you had pee in the pool as the water would turn a strange colour. As far as I know it’s an urban myth, but with the advances of science maybe this should be invented and implemented. In 2017 I would assume that most people if asked would screw up there nose while saying point blankly that they “NEVER” pee in the pool, even though they probably have at least once.
Happy Bday Leo, had a great time with these two. Sorry for throwing up in your mums car…. oops. wont be invited there again.
Maybe I should get my bicycle out of my sisters shed, give it an MOT and risk the roads and pollution of East London. This might be better than the health risks of a pool full of piss.
The party was in full swing.
In Other News…
Down memory lane, riding a Routmaster down the Strand.
Overheard a girl saying to friends on escalator, “would you use the DLR as a getaway if you robbed a bank”.
Quote of the week was heard in the confectionery isle at work. A man said to a women, “I’m broody for chocolate”.
We really need to smile more often at others, not everyone is grumpy.
The Mid Life Crisis Conts……
This week I have mainly been watching: “Behind The Scenes – Television Centre 1971”, (TX 18/08/71). “Catastrophe”, (S1, ep 3 to 5). “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang”, (1968). “Click”, (TX 25/02/17). “Clique”, (S1, ep 1). “Cradle To Grave”, (S1, ep 4). “Gap Year”, (S1, ep 1 to 3). “Incredible Medicine: Dr Weston’s Casebook”, (S1, ep 1 to 3). “Inside No 9”, (S3, ep 4). “Let’s Sing & Dance For Comic Relief 2017”, (ep 1 & 2). “Not Going Out”, (S8, ep 7). “Peter Kay’s Car Share”, (S1, ep 4 & 5). “Robot Wars”, (S9, ep 1). “So Awkward”, (S2, ep 11). “Sound Waves: Symphony Of Physics”, (S1, ep 1 & 2). “Special Forces: Ultimate Hell Week”, (S2, ep 6). “SS-GB”, (S1, ep 2). “Stacey Dooley Investigates: Canada’s Lost Girls”. “The Graham Norton Show”, (S20, ep 20). “The Last Leg”, (S10, ep 6). “The Real Marigold Hotel”, (S2, ep 3). “The Replacement”, (S1, ep 1 & 2). “This Country”, (S1, ep 5). Timeshift: Hurricanes And Heatwave: The Highs And Lows Of British Weather”, (S13, ep 6). “Top Gear”, (S10, ep 1 & ep 10) (S24, ep 1). “We Are Martians – William Shatner On Mars”. “Withnail And I”, (1987).
This week I have mainly been listening to: “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (02/03/17). “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (02/03/17). “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Live)”, (02/03, 03/03/17) (06/03/17 (jake yapp). ”LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (09/03/17). “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (03/03, 10/03/17). “Nick Abbot Habit Podcast, (ep 1, 10/03/17). “Nick Abbot Habit Podcast Trailer”, (05/03/17). “Scroobius Pip, Distraction Pieces”, (ep 2, 22/10/14) (ep 55, 26/08/15) (ep 99, 24/05/16) (ep 100: Pt 1, 31/05/16. Pt 2, 01/06/16) (ep 140, 08/03/17). “Soundtracking With Edith Bowman”, (ep 31, 03/03/17). “The Queer Life”, (ep 116, 03/03/17). “The Rabbit Hole”, (09/03/17). “Morrissey”, “Wigfield”, “Baccara”, “The B52s”, “Portishead”, ”Smiths”, “Velvet Underground”, “Two Door Cinema Club”, “The Foo Fighters”, “Hole”, “Kate Bush”.