Misfits Mid-Life Crisis Adventures in East and Surrey (The NEXT Chapter).

Week 118 Saturday 17^th September until Friday 23^rd September 2016.

I hated school and I am pretty sure they didn’t like me.  I will never be considered clever; I was usually to be found in the bottom class with the kids that the school tried to forget.  At one school they did forget us once a week when we were shepherded into a van parked in the car park.  While the other children were learned, I drew and painted with the thick kids.

  Amazing street art in Shoreditch East London.

When I think back, I don’t feel there are any stand out moments during my school days.  There is one period that I am really not proud of being part of.  We had a temporary teacher with a surname that sounded like a 1970s telephone ringing.  My class drove him mad with constant impressions of a Trim phones echoing all-around the portakabin.  Yes, we were contained in a portakabin they separated from the clever children so we didn’t infect them with our stupidness.  We broke that poor man, I know this because he ended up in tears in front of us one day.  I admit I do feel guilty about being part of that rabble and wondered many times what happened to him.

  The photo shoot studio, and Bunny the make up artist that made me look presentable.

One teacher I won’t forget is Mr D (I won’t name him) who had an angry reputation.  I witnessed him throwing board rubbers across the classroom targeted at the head of a child that wasn’t listening.  He had a habit of giving kids a damn good beating.  One day it was my turn; this was when I leaned the truth, a secret I have never revealed until now.  I screamed when he hit his own palm, he didn’t really beat knowledge into kids, but the fear worked.

  One of my cheap outfits, All that make up was needed on my face.

My niece has started school; it wasn’t difficult to find just follow the procession of other adults walking with little ones in uniform.  Arriving at the school I had flashbacks of Ecclesbourne Infants School my first taste of education and remember Miss Atkinson my first teacher.  Looking at my nieces school things have not changed much on the surface, there were brightly coloured pictures plastered over the windows and toys scattered around.  I imagined Miss Atkinson standing at the door with a big smile welcoming me in.

 I have 65 pics on here, seeing the agency again next week.

I met Anaia’s teacher who I walked up to and introduced myself as “Anaia’s niece”.  It was at this point I just wanted to find a comfy blanket on the floor that I could sit crossed legged on and be read a story.  I hope she enjoys school, it’s not always going to be fun or easy but if she ever asks me I will tell her that it’s only for a few years.  After this she will be able to do anything she wants, I will always tell her to study hard so she doesn’t end up like her old loser of an aunty.  I didn’t enjoy school, but I hope she does, in fact I want her to be thrilled about education and I will always encourage her.

And now for something completely different… 

 The lush on the left is leading this lovely Granny astray.

MOZ and I took my mum, nephew Jessa and Anaia to Denbies a vineyard in Surrey at the weekend.  I spent a lot of the time wrangling the little ones around, i need to find an authoritative voice as they walk over me, I can’t bribe them with treats forever.  At one point MOZ realised that we didn’t have the pram, we had forgotten it the other side of the farm shop, don’t worry we didn’t lose a child.  Funniest moment was when grandma called Jesse “Jelly”, and then “what’s his name”.  Next time I am there I will sample a bottle or two and possibly the slop bucket.

  Fun at the vineyard.

 In other news….. 

 SAZ and Tim’s one month wedding anniversary.

A security guard in Boots the chemist locked eyes on mine when I realised that he was squeezing a blob of expensive moisturiser in to his hands.  As he walked away rubbing the cream in to his skin I felt for the person who would eventually buy the tube with their hard earned cash and not get a full tube.

  Not going to lie, i really was in love in this pic.

I was sitting on a train and over hear a very loud American say that she thought that a lot of people in Britain burned wood in there houses  I was waiting for her to ask her friends if we still used coal as an alternative, I think she was from the 1970s.

 “Now where are we”….

Went to a photo shoot in a professional studio.  I took far too many clothes a lot of them I ironed the night before.  None of these where worn during the shoot, but if I hadn’t of ironed them then these would have been the ones that the photographer would have picked.

 I might have packed a few to many things for the shoot.

The Mid Life Crisis Conts……

This week I have mainly been watching:  “Cleverman”, (Season 1, ep3).  “Jason Bourne”, (12016).  “Josh”, (Season 1, ep 3 to 5).  “One Of Us”, (ep 4).  “People Just Do Nothing”, (Season 3, ep 6).  “Red Dwarf”, (Season XI, ep 2).  “Ripper Street”, (Season 4, ep 4).  “The Great Flying Challenge”, (ep3).  “The Great British Bake Off”, (Season 7, ep5).  “The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice”, (Season 3, ep 5).  “The Last Leg: Live From Rio”, (2016, ep 11).  “The Sky At Night”, (ep 762).  “Voyager: To The Final Frontier”.  “Who’s Afraid of Conceptual Art”.           

This week I have mainly been listening to:  “Desert Island Discs: Warwick Davis”, (12/06/16) & Nadiya Hussain”, (14/08/16).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Bonus)”, (19/09, 21/09/16).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Highlights)”, (15/09, 16/09, 20/09, 21/09, 22/09/16).  “Iain Lee: TalkRADIO (Live)”, (19/09, 20/09, 21/09/16).  “LBC Podcast: Mystery Hour”, (21/09/16).  “LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Mid-Week)”, (21/09/16).  ”LBC Podcast: Nick Abbot (Whole Show)”, (16/09, 17/09, 19/09, 23/09/16).  “The Adam Buxton Podcast”, (ep 29, 12/09/16).  “The Barry From Watford Podcast”, (01/07, 05/07, 06/07, 07/07, 08/07, 09/07, 12/07, 28/07, 29/07/10)(11/08 pt 1&2, 26/08, 27/08/16)(08/09, 09/09, 13/09, 15/09)(05/10, 12/10, 13/10, 14/10/16)(08/11, 09/11, 10/11, 11/11, 16/11, 17/11, 23/11/16).  “Toby Hadoke’s Who’s Round”,(07/13 ep 24 to ep 26)(08/13 ep27). “Morrissey”, “Lisa Lobe”, “Natalie Imbrugglia”, “Scroobius Pip”, Imani Coppola”, “The Presidents Of The United States Of America”, “MIA”, “Santiold”, “The Spice Girls”.