Week 29, Saturday 3 January to Friday 9 January 2015.

Misfits Mid Life Crisis Adventures in ………….. Mozambique.

Week 29, Saturday 3 January to Friday 9 January 2015.

This week I have mainly been listening to….. Sophie B Hawkins, Kate Nash, Radiohead, Portishead, The Smiths, Morrissey

And have been watching…. Game of Thrones (Season 2, eps 2 to 10 & Season 3 eps 1 & 2), Citizen Khan (Season 3, eps 4 and 5), Citizen Khan Crimbum episode, Doctor Who “Last Christmas”, The Hobbit, Battle of the Five Armies,

Still reading…… “A Game of Thrones, A Song of ice and Fire” book 1 by George R.R. Martin.

Saturday 3rd, Got up a little later and went in for just after 8.30am the sun was already very hot, you don’t really walk around without a hat if you can help it. I was never a hat person before, but now I think I’m known for my battered M&S straw hat, which I found out today when I looked was not made of straw, but paper. It says do not get wet, I have got it wet in heavy rain, on the Dhow trips to the Island and today its been on Ocean Safari. I lost my old running baseball hat last week on Ocean safari I didn’t want to lose the faux strew one so I made an improvised strap out of string just before we left, good thing I did as the hat did blow off a couple of times. Ocean Safari was one of the rare ones where we didn’t see a thing, Pedro the skipper did see a Turtle that dived straight away but on one else saw it. From the reactions from the other boats out there they didn’t see anything either. Mike and I have a theory that there have been so many packed boats recently that the Whale Sharks have buggered off, I hope this is only temporary if this is the case. Spent the rest of the day at the dive centre keeping cool in the shade.


Sunday 4th, So much to say. 2 dives today the first to “Simons Town” I swept for the first time for Mike. The 2nd was to “Clownfish” Ieading a junior open water diver who was 11 years old round our shallow site. So much reef life and so many Clownfish. Mike dropped the T and became a DM today, woo hoo. I walked back from the market after buying bread with a smile so wide coz I just love this place, if I could just stay I would (The only thing I need is internet, I think) I really don’t want to come home. But I have to face facts that in March I have been away 9 months I have things to sort out, the 30 square metres of Sci-fi shit is one of them. Also seeing my niece and nephews (with a new one coming in March) plus I need to save more money (you don’t earn much as a DM, you don’t do this for money). So reality says go home work my ass off for a few months and come back in July and see if Liquid will have me back or another dive shop might take me (I think I’ll get a good reference). Talked to Nadia today, Indonesia is a cheap place to live so I might look at going there for a month, but Tofo has stolen my heart. I have big things to think about over the next few months. Had a massive Skype session watched Crimbum Doctor Who and episodes of Citizen Khan.

IMG_6254 Kitchen of the house i’m living in at the mo.

Monday 5th. This week have to do my visa run again (yes 30 days is almost up), have put feelers out to see if anyone is going to the border. There was someone going but all the seats in the car have been taken up. However Zak and Zelda are going to Swaziland on Friday and have offered me a lift, so it looks like I’m visiting a different border crossing. The plan is to get stamped out of Mozziebeak and then stamp straight back in, I will then try to get a lift back to Maputo which would mean then staying the night there and coming back to Tofo the next day. everything is in the planning stage at the mo. Nice dive to “Giants Castle” and another manta, this one had a very long tail it felt from the angle was at that the tail was longer then the body, I could also see that there were visible bite marks (most probably shark attacks) on the backs of its wings, a very chilled manta on the cleaning station. Nadia who is the main instructor at Liquid is going away for a month and has said I can house sit for her, popped in to see her house very nice it’s just behind the first house I lived in with Jenny from end of Oct to December last year. I tried to watch more Game of Thrones but was so tired I started to nod, will have to re-watch that episode went to bed early.

IMG_6255 My bedroom.

Tuesday 6th, dived this morning to the beautiful “Sherwood Forest” the current was strong this meant that the dive became a drift dive so we didn’t go the normal way round the reef. I tied the reel off to see if we could swim around the reef but it soon became clear that the current was too strong. On the drift as we were going back slowly to the surface we saw a lone Devil Ray, it appeared to me to circle us from below (it was 10 metres below us so probably didn’t know we were there). Haven’t seen a Devil Ray in a while, you normally see them in small groups or pair so to see one on its own is a little sad. Extremely quiet day in Tofo the crowds have either left or are starting to go, the rows of 4×4 or souped up quads have started to leave town. But this meant that the dive shop was so quiet today it was a very chilled place. I have now seen the new Hobbit film enjoyed it but my heart says did we really need three Hobbit films, surely two would have been enough. I really would like to see it on a big screen (a BIG Tv would be nice, but a HUGE cinema screen would be better) there were lovely moments and nice nods to the LoTR films but my heart says we didn’t need this extra slice of the Middle Earth cake.


Wednesday 7th, a very humid night, I was laying with my head against the mozzie net which had the fan directly on the other side, if my head was any closer to the blades I could have blended it (yes there is a cover on the fan but I was laying as close to it as I could). This morning’s dive got cancelled after I had got all the gear out due to the clients having car problems. The result was that because Tofo is so quiet a few of us were not needed today. We’ve all worked every day with just crimbum and New Years Day off so a day off was welcomed. After hanging about for a little at the dive shop it was off home, when I got there I noticed in the garden a sprinkler, I suddenly became a child again and had to go run through it and stand there and just get wet it was so satisfying in this heat. Am planning my visa run trip, as I want to be away as short a time as possible I am taking very little, the list so far, toothbrush, spare knickers, kindle, Ipod, maybe a physical book (for when batteries run out). That’s the list so far. Mike and Johnny’s snorkel test is tomorrow it will be an interesting evening. I spent far too much time today on my own watching Game of Thrones this is what happens when I have a day off and I’m not having to do things. The whole house were having a “Family Dinner” out, but as usual I didn’t go, I’m learning more and more that I am not a social person I find that I’m better on my own festering in my own depression instead of spreading it and infecting others. Of course I want to go and have fun and enjoy myself, play games on the beach with others eat drink and be merry but I just find I cant. If I did id be looking for the exit all the time wanting to leave, I’d be worried what people are thinking and saying about who and what I am. So in the end its better I just sit in a corner of the room and watch fantasy shit, or read fantasy shit or even better go to bed and sleep.

IMG_6266 The sprinkler.

Thursday 8th, I lead a nice dive round “Salon” this morning, recently I got lost and very upset with myself over it, so today I hugged the reef and nothing went wrong. Salon was Moray city today there were so many Morays, different ones, big and small. The best bit was we had an Octopus trying to hid amongst some rocks and not doing a very good job of it, we all just hung there naturally buoyant watching it. So much reef life, it’s such a great site (when you don’t get lost). I slew the mighty Salon today (Yes I have been watching far too much Game of Thrones). This got mentioned when Mike and Johnny were riding on the boat pontoons as it was being pulled back to the dive centre, I said they looked like lords/knights riding there trusty steeds, yes I have seen far too much HBO fantasy this week. Johnny became a DM today as well so the double snorkel test is deffo on. We had some rain today, which is welcomed when it’s been as hot as it has been. Managed a short Skype session with mum and HEL as I won’t get to chat with them until after the visa run. Makes you think when mum says that they have the heating on there, you really don’t need heating here, well I don’t anyway. I’m leaving for the visa run at 3am not sure if I should get some sleep or just stay up and sleep in the car. Just back from Mike and Johnny’s very funny snorkel test, they really were a buddie team helping each other out, an excellent night out. I did the briefing map, not one of my best efforts, I tried to not make it rude as normally there just tits and bums with a willy thrown in. Congrats to Liquid’s new DM’s Michael Peters and Johnny Excell.


Friday 9th, because I’m leaving at 3 am I have decided to post this now, otherwise it won’t go on until Saturday or Sunday. I promise full coverage of my visa run in next Fridays So-Called Blog.

Week 29 has still to end, will I get to the Swazi-Mozambique border, will I get stamped out and in straight away, will I get to Maputo and eventually back to Tofo all will be revealed next week….. Fingers crossed.

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